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UNLIMITED Arizona Hilarity thread

Started by Requia ☣, April 22, 2010, 04:44:30 AM

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Ben Shapiro

#990
February 11, 2013, 01:25:11 AM
Iron Maiden shirt? Clearly a "Vato Loco". I must have broken his heart knowing that I stole another white wimmenz away.
The only way he could have hated me anymore was if I was black,had a thug life tattoo on my knuckles, and reeked of menthols, and cocoa butter. Because to him all black people love them some cocoa butter.

Mangrove

#991
February 11, 2013, 02:28:03 AM
Quote from: /b/earman on February 11, 2013, 01:25:11 AM
Iron Maiden shirt? Clearly a "Vato Loco". I must have broken his heart knowing that I stole another white wimmenz away.
The only way he could have hated me anymore was if I was black,had a thug life tattoo on my knuckles, and reeked of menthols, and cocoa butter. Because to him all black people love them some cocoa butter.

Black people love cocoa butter? This is a strange new stereotype I've never heard of. You're going to have to explain this...lol..

What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Don Coyote

#992
February 11, 2013, 02:30:58 AM
Quote from: Mangrove on February 11, 2013, 02:28:03 AM
Quote from: /b/earman on February 11, 2013, 01:25:11 AM
Iron Maiden shirt? Clearly a "Vato Loco". I must have broken his heart knowing that I stole another white wimmenz away.
The only way he could have hated me anymore was if I was black,had a thug life tattoo on my knuckles, and reeked of menthols, and cocoa butter. Because to him all black people love them some cocoa butter.

Black people love cocoa butter? This is a strange new stereotype I've never heard of. You're going to have to explain this...lol..

I believe they use it as a skin moisturizer so they don't get dry and ashy looking skin.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#993
February 11, 2013, 02:56:07 AM
Quote from: six to the quixotic on February 11, 2013, 02:30:58 AM
Quote from: Mangrove on February 11, 2013, 02:28:03 AM
Quote from: /b/earman on February 11, 2013, 01:25:11 AM
Iron Maiden shirt? Clearly a "Vato Loco". I must have broken his heart knowing that I stole another white wimmenz away.
The only way he could have hated me anymore was if I was black,had a thug life tattoo on my knuckles, and reeked of menthols, and cocoa butter. Because to him all black people love them some cocoa butter.

Black people love cocoa butter? This is a strange new stereotype I've never heard of. You're going to have to explain this...lol..

I believe they use it as a skin moisturizer so they don't get dry and ashy looking skin.

It's true.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Junkenstein

#994
February 12, 2013, 10:31:04 AM
http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/region_phoenix_metro/central_phoenix/sheriff-joe-arpaio-to-release-report-on-bungled-investigations-on-sex-crime-cases

QuotePHOENIX - Maricopa County Sheriff's Office supervisors and deputies directly involved in the mishandling of hundreds of sex crimes cases will not be disciplined, despite a 2011 recommendation to suspend several employees.
"If there were any victims out there, I apologize to those victims," Sheriff Joe Arpaio said in a December 2011 news conference. "Sometimes in a large law enforcement agency, these sort of situations occur."
According to letters dated February 11, 2013 and sent to various MCSO employees, the failure by MCSO to properly investigate hundreds of sex crimes cases – most of which involved children – is the result of a "systemic problem" that could not be solved by disciplining just a "few individuals."

Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#995
February 12, 2013, 03:39:57 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 12, 2013, 10:31:04 AM
http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/region_phoenix_metro/central_phoenix/sheriff-joe-arpaio-to-release-report-on-bungled-investigations-on-sex-crime-cases

QuotePHOENIX - Maricopa County Sheriff's Office supervisors and deputies directly involved in the mishandling of hundreds of sex crimes cases will not be disciplined, despite a 2011 recommendation to suspend several employees.
"If there were any victims out there, I apologize to those victims," Sheriff Joe Arpaio said in a December 2011 news conference. "Sometimes in a large law enforcement agency, these sort of situations occur."
According to letters dated February 11, 2013 and sent to various MCSO employees, the failure by MCSO to properly investigate hundreds of sex crimes cases – most of which involved children – is the result of a "systemic problem" that could not be solved by disciplining just a "few individuals."

SURPRISE
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#996
February 13, 2013, 01:39:36 PM
He doesn't mention that the fuck ups occurred because there wasn't anyone to investigate them, because he had ALL THE DETECTIVES CHASING ILLEGALS.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#997
February 15, 2013, 02:31:14 PM
Arizona is now going to be the home of drone training.   :lulz:

But they promise not to spy on civilians.   :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#998
February 15, 2013, 03:30:29 PM
More  :horrormirth: from Sheriff Joe

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/arizona-sheriff-joe-arpaio-hires-criminals-protect-city-schools#

QuoteYou'd think school officials would feel safer now that they are being protected by thousands of people. Unfortunately the opposite is true. Why? Well, because some of these volunteers have extensive criminal records.

News team KPHO reports that Arpaio's volunteers have included sex offenders, domestic abusers, and other people with similar unfortunate histories.

One member, Dominic Boulter, was arrested and convicted for committing crimes against children.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#999
February 15, 2013, 05:41:09 PM
Quote from: Pope Partum Depression on February 15, 2013, 03:30:29 PM
More  :horrormirth: from Sheriff Joe

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/arizona-sheriff-joe-arpaio-hires-criminals-protect-city-schools#

QuoteYou'd think school officials would feel safer now that they are being protected by thousands of people. Unfortunately the opposite is true. Why? Well, because some of these volunteers have extensive criminal records.

News team KPHO reports that Arpaio's volunteers have included sex offenders, domestic abusers, and other people with similar unfortunate histories.

One member, Dominic Boulter, was arrested and convicted for committing crimes against children.

But that's not the POINT, Stella!  We can't let these little things get in the way of PROTECTING THE CHILDREN™!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#1000
February 15, 2013, 06:05:31 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 15, 2013, 05:41:09 PM
Quote from: Pope Partum Depression on February 15, 2013, 03:30:29 PM
More  :horrormirth: from Sheriff Joe

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/arizona-sheriff-joe-arpaio-hires-criminals-protect-city-schools#

QuoteYou'd think school officials would feel safer now that they are being protected by thousands of people. Unfortunately the opposite is true. Why? Well, because some of these volunteers have extensive criminal records.

News team KPHO reports that Arpaio's volunteers have included sex offenders, domestic abusers, and other people with similar unfortunate histories.

One member, Dominic Boulter, was arrested and convicted for committing crimes against children.

But that's not the POINT, Stella!  We can't let these little things get in the way of PROTECTING THE CHILDREN™!

Got to love SAFETY IN THE SCHOOLS(TM)

WHAT, YOU WANT SOME PONYTAIL-ASS SISSIES TRYING TO DO A MAN'S JOB PROTECTING YOUR KIDS????? FUCK YUO!

ALSO: JOB CREATION(TM) FTW
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Juana

#1001
February 15, 2013, 07:14:29 PM
This thread makes me weep for humanity.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Cain

#1002
February 15, 2013, 07:20:16 PM
Who wouldn't feel safe knowing Steven Seagal and a bunch of hardened career criminals and sex offenders are protecting them?

If anyone knows violence, it's criminals.  And if I want anyone shielding my body from a mad gunman, it's Steven Seagal (you'll need to be rocking an anti-materiel rifle to shoot through that and hit someone).

Anna Mae Bollocks

#1003
February 15, 2013, 07:53:50 PM
CHUCK NORRIS.

Because spinning back kicks work on EVERYTHING. Saw it on TV.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Cain

#1004
February 15, 2013, 07:55:58 PM
Spinning back kicks are actually awesome.  You can totally put someone on the ground hard with one of those.

The trick is making them connect when you've just suffered an adrenaline dump due to someone waving a gun in your face.  Or are in a confined space.  Or both.  Or when you telegraph the attack, they grab your leg and then knife your femoral atery.
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