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A day in the life of LMNO, part 673.

Started by LMNO, December 15, 2009, 04:10:46 PM

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LMNO

December 15, 2009, 04:10:46 PM
So, there I am with my wife on Amazon.com, shopping for Xmas presents for my Parents-in-Law.

We were looking in various departments, getting little gifts here and there, and were in the "Health & Personal Care" section to get my FIL a new electric razor.  Easy enough.

I said to Mrs LMNO, "So, what's next on the list?"

"I think Mom wanted one of those rabbit corkscrews, you know, the ones that open a bottle of wine in like 3 seconds or something?"

"Oh, yeah.  Cool. Let's look for that."  So, I type in "Rabbit Corkscrew", and hit search.

THIS IS WHAT THE SEARCH RETURNED.

I swear.  It's like an aura I give off or something.

Herbertina Merrique V

#1
December 15, 2009, 04:15:10 PM
Woah! $39.99 $4.99! :lulz:
THE MORALE WILL CONTINUE UNTIL DISCORDIANS IMPROVE

Ask me anything. Or else.

LMNO

#2
December 15, 2009, 04:17:13 PM
"Merry Christmas, Mom!"

P3nT4gR4m

#3
December 15, 2009, 04:17:39 PM
He who lives by the butt toy dies by the butt toy  :D

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Suu

#4
December 15, 2009, 04:18:09 PM
ANAL?!
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Richter

#5
December 15, 2009, 04:26:46 PM
Amazon is onto you, I searched for the same words, and only got elaborate ways to access a bottle of booze.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

LMNO

#6
December 15, 2009, 04:28:08 PM
You have to start in the Health & Personal Care section, apparently.

Dysfunctional Cunt

#7
December 15, 2009, 04:50:21 PM
The question tha comes to mind is what are the chances someone was not paying the proper attention and sent one of these to dear old Auntie Gert?

Can you imagine?  It's almost worth the price just to do it and claim accident!!

Suu

#8
December 15, 2009, 04:59:32 PM
Quote from: LMNO on December 15, 2009, 04:28:08 PM
You have to start in the Health & Personal Care section, apparently.

Ohhhh....You didn't switch back to All Departments.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

LMNO

#9
December 15, 2009, 05:03:20 PM
Nope.  I think the wife and I were laughing for about 15 minutes.


"Is it the right color?  Try it out, see if it works.  I think we can return it with a recipt if you don't like using it."

Jenne

#10
December 15, 2009, 05:08:03 PM
Well, you just hand it to her and say as she looks agog once it's open:

"SURPRISE!  BUTTSEX!"









(actually, I have the type of in-laws I'd LOVE to do that to...)

Richter

#11
December 15, 2009, 05:09:23 PM
"About this gift....I'm not sure what to do with it..."

"Oh, it's simple, you just stick it in and twist."  

(FYI: I know The Rabbit cockscrew opperates with jsut a lever, but that sounds funnier.)
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

-Kel-

#12
December 15, 2009, 06:08:31 PM
"Number one christmas boutique gift item!!!"

The Good Reverend Roger

#13
December 15, 2009, 06:13:40 PM
Quote from: Richter on December 15, 2009, 04:26:46 PM
Amazon is onto you, I searched for the same words, and only got elaborate ways to access a bottle of booze.

This is a fact.  It's God punishing LMNO for mocking the sick. 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Brotep

#14
December 15, 2009, 06:17:17 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 15, 2009, 05:08:03 PM
(actually, I have the type of in-laws I'd LOVE to do that to...)

Well that could mean several different things!   :lulz:
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