GASM: The ChaoSutra

[tyrannosaurus vex]

IN THIS GASM;
To prove how EDGY and FAROUT Discordians are, we invent new and terrible sexual acts.

1. THE MU-CHAO MANEUVER: Person A spreads ass cheeks as Person B inserts large object (preferably not an object intended for anal use) into rectum of Person A; Person A then performs the same for Person B; Persons A and B then sit on front porch playing banjos in the nude until orgasm is achieved.

[Cramulus]

the Eye of Sauron:

you give yourself a tobasco enema

then you poise yourself right over your sleeping partner

as soon as they wake up, you release the enema onto them

before the screaming starts, they will see a horrible all seeing eye, wreathed in flame

[LMNO]

KYS,FTB.




'nuff said.

[AFK]

Spike Rack

Like Spice Rack.

But with spikes instead of spice. 

[AFK]

Punningulus

You barrage your partner with puns until she sits on your face in an attempt to smother you to death. 

[Fractalbeard]

1) requires a back story. Q) Why don't you eat out an 80 year old woman? A) ever open up a grilled cheese sandwich?

The chilli cheeseburger: take a crap on an 80 year old woman's cooch, then eat it out.

2) Alaska Bloodbath: Fuck a girl on her period, then have her throw ice cubes at your dick.

3) Never ending chilli bowl: pour 2 cups of chilli into someone's ass. Proceed to eat the chill out of their ass, then realise that you just ate 3 cups of chilli.

[LMNO]

"The Human Centipede"

Partner A fucks Partner B in the ass.  Partner C then felches Partner B.  The Partner A bends over, and partner C spits the semen up Partner A's ass.  Partner B then felches Partner A, and this process continues on as necessary.

[Cramulus]

Dil-Kwan-Do - this is a school of martial arts involving didoes. A practitioner wears a strap-on and holds a dildo in each hand. Sweep and trip moves are followed by grappling and penetration. In some parts of the world this is known as Japanese Sex Fighting

[AFK]

Dil-Kwan-Do - this is a school of martial arts involving didoes. A practitioner wears a strap-on and holds a dildo in each hand. Sweep and trip moves are followed by grappling and penetration. In some parts of the world this is known as Japanese Sex Fighting

Someone needs to write/adapt that song. 

[Cramulus]

"The Shawshank Conception"

an erotic roleplaying scenario

The male plays the role of the prisoner. He gets stripped naked and locked in a small room for an indeterminate length of time. Eventually, on his birthday, his lover brings him a nail-file shaped cake for his birthday. There is a fleshlight baked into the cake. He makes sweet love to it and imagines it to be his lover.

[LMNO]

"The GOP"

You and your partner take turns fucking the poor.

[Fractalbeard]

Dil-Kwan-Do - this is a school of martial arts involving didoes. A practitioner wears a strap-on and holds a dildo in each hand. Sweep and trip moves are followed by grappling and penetration. In some parts of the world this is known as Japanese Sex Fighting

Dildo-chucks?

[AFK]

"The DEM"

Like BDSM but with less leather and vinyl and more flannel and denim.  And you are always the submissive.  ALWAYS. 

[LMNO]

"The Overton Window"

Thrust into your partner, withdraw, move a foot to the right, and then complain that your partner isn't meeting you in the middle.

[AFK]

The Lamanite

Lay down naked on your stoop and wait for a Bison to wander by.  You fuck it, then you eat it.  It's like dinner and sex, except the other way round.