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Bill of Rights for the Real World

Started by tyrannosaurus vex, October 24, 2012, 08:11:21 AM

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tyrannosaurus vex

Quote from: Man Yellow on October 24, 2012, 04:56:28 PM
You have the right to drink bourbon and act like an ass.  You have the right to SATURDAY NIGHT.  You have the right to rant your guts up.  You have the right to kick 'em IN THA NADS.  You have the right to irresponsible firearms use.  You have the right to drive like a maniac.  You have the right to DANCE.  You have the right to sing in the Goddamn shower.  You have the right to be an asshat.  You have the right to bray spittle and laughter in the face of those who deny these rights.

Now all we need is a government that recognizes and protects these rights.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: V3X on October 24, 2012, 04:58:03 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 24, 2012, 04:56:28 PM
You have the right to drink bourbon and act like an ass.  You have the right to SATURDAY NIGHT.  You have the right to rant your guts up.  You have the right to kick 'em IN THA NADS.  You have the right to irresponsible firearms use.  You have the right to drive like a maniac.  You have the right to DANCE.  You have the right to sing in the Goddamn shower.  You have the right to be an asshat.  You have the right to bray spittle and laughter in the face of those who deny these rights.

Now all we need is a government that recognizes and protects these rights.

Nope.  FUCK THAT SHIT.  Look how well our government protected all of our other rights.  No, NOBODY except YOU can protect your right to SATURDAY NIGHT.  It's the most fundamental human right that exists, it's the FUCKING REASON we HAVE civilization, and it's YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.  And mine.  And LMNO's.  And everyone elses.  BUT NOT THE GOVERNMENT.  Government, by definition, is afraid of SATURDAY NIGHT, and is fundamentally incapable of protecting it.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

I don't see what everyone's bitching about.  America has given Americans EVERYTHING THEY'VE ASKED FOR.  "Safety".  War.  Self-righteous bullshit.  Stomping on smudgy people.  Public humiliation in the airports and bus stations across the country.  Bankers fucking you in the ass.  Presidential candidates that promise ridiculous fucking things they can't possibly deliver.  Ain't It Awful on every news channel.  The reinforcement of your fucked up beliefs by said news channels.

WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Elder Iptuous

Because it is our Right to complain about receiving what we ask for!

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Elder Iptuous on October 24, 2012, 06:17:36 PM
Because it is our Right to complain about receiving what we ask for!

Yep.  If we behaved this way in a restaurant, they'd throw us out.

"HEY, WHAT IS THIS SHIT?"

"Um, sir, that's the cheeseburger you ordered, exactly the way you ordered it, which was not an easy task."

"BUT CHEESEBURGERS ARE BAD FOR ME!  WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING ME A SALAD?"

"Sir, please leave the restaurant."
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

You have the right to work 140 hours a week*

You have the right to insurmountable education expenses

You have the right to consume Approved PILLZ to cope with your miserable life

You have the right to pay out-of-pocket for healthcare

You have the right to blame everyone else for your problems

You have the right to cheap junk food**

You have the right to choose the lesser of two evils

You have the right to engage in procreative sex within the bonds of matrimony

You have the right to turkey on Thanksgiving


* Making enough money to survive is a privilege
** So is healthy food

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on October 24, 2012, 06:45:17 PM
You have the right to work 140 hours a week*

You have the right to insurmountable education expenses

You have the right to consume Approved PILLZ to cope with your miserable life

You have the right to pay out-of-pocket for healthcare

You have the right to blame everyone else for your problems

You have the right to cheap junk food**

You have the right to choose the lesser of two evils

You have the right to engage in procreative sex within the bonds of matrimony

You have the right to turkey on Thanksgiving


* Making enough money to survive is a privilege
** So is healthy food


See above.  This is how people want it.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

You have the right to GET what you ASK FOR.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 24, 2012, 06:46:54 PM
You have the right to GET what you ASK FOR.

And the right to bitch about it when Uncle Sam plods up with your order.

And those are the only two rights 90% of America NEEDS.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Man Yellow on October 24, 2012, 05:02:28 PM
Quote from: V3X on October 24, 2012, 04:58:03 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 24, 2012, 04:56:28 PM
You have the right to drink bourbon and act like an ass.  You have the right to SATURDAY NIGHT.  You have the right to rant your guts up.  You have the right to kick 'em IN THA NADS.  You have the right to irresponsible firearms use.  You have the right to drive like a maniac.  You have the right to DANCE.  You have the right to sing in the Goddamn shower.  You have the right to be an asshat.  You have the right to bray spittle and laughter in the face of those who deny these rights.

Now all we need is a government that recognizes and protects these rights.

Nope.  FUCK THAT SHIT.  Look how well our government protected all of our other rights.  No, NOBODY except YOU can protect your right to SATURDAY NIGHT.  It's the most fundamental human right that exists, it's the FUCKING REASON we HAVE civilization, and it's YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.  And mine.  And LMNO's.  And everyone elses.  BUT NOT THE GOVERNMENT.  Government, by definition, is afraid of SATURDAY NIGHT, and is fundamentally incapable of protecting it.

And another thing:  If you let someone else safeguard your SATURDAY NIGHT for you, you wind up with THEIR version of SATURDAY NIGHT instead of YOUR version. 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

You have the right to everything you deserve

You have the right to sit on your ass and wait on someone doing it for you

You have the right to beg for liberty

You have the right to have your teeth kicked in every time you do

You have the right to watch people who don't give a fuck about rights, doing what they please and getting away with it

You have the right to bitch and whine about this, so long as you do it quietly

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

tyrannosaurus vex

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.
ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU IN A COURT OF LAW.


THIS IS NOT EVEN SATIRE.

HELLO? IS THIS THING ON?
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: V3X on October 24, 2012, 07:04:18 PM
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.
ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU IN A COURT OF LAW.


THIS IS NOT EVEN SATIRE.

HELLO? IS THIS THING ON?

:lulz:

I just shat my pants.  SHAT MY PANTS!

How the FUCK can you go 44 years and never notice THAT?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE AN ATTORNEY PRESENT DURING QUESTIONING. IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD ONE, WE'LL APPOINT YOU ONE OF OURS A COUPLE OF YEARS DOWN THE ROAD AND HE WILL CONTINUE TO SHUFFLE YOU THROUGH THE SYSTEM.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Anna Mae Bollocks

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO PLEAD GUILTY AND TAKE TIME SERVED RATHER THAN SIT IN JAIL AWAITING TRIAL BY JURY.
WHERE WE WILL FUCK YOU ANYWAY.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division