[redacted]

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

In all fairness, I was a shitawful teenager. Mainly it was because my conservative parents sent me to spend a summer with my unbeknownst too them gay cousin. As a result I became extremely opinionated about subjects that were super taboo in redneck conservative TN. Dunno why they'd rebel growing up in glorious pdx.  Maybe a teenage vagina induced angst. Or raging testosterone irked-ness.

Moving away improved my relationship with my parents 10 fold. Sucks it took until 23 for that to occur.

They AREN'T rebelling, and we have great relationships. Seriously. It's kind of weird. We agree on politics and social issues and they almost never lie or break my rules.

They have simply lost all their house manners and are super shitty housemates. Theeeee worst. They're entirely preoccupied with the business of being teenagers, which I 100% acknowledge is difficult and shitty, to such an extent that they've forgotten everything they learned about being reasonable human beings.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I know it's not worse, but in some ways it almost seems worse. I'm like, we just spent three hours talking about various stuff, totally getting along. Why is every dish in the house encrusted with cereal and sitting on the sofa along with an empty jug of milk, some half-chewed Twizzlers, and your socks, while the dinner I made is languishing on the stove? Seriously, do you guys hate me? Who spilled juice in the kitchen and then just left it, and why are all the knives in the sink? Is that blood on the bathroom mirror, and why? Never mind. Don't tell me why. I'll be in my bedroom, crying. Why, yes, I am a little emotional right now, it's funny how being sleep-deprived because you decided to come home at 2:30 am with five of your friends and bake cookies can mess with a person's head. Who are you and why are you trying to ruin my life?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Why is there a juice jug full of clams on the kitchen counter? Why is there sand on the living room floor? Why are there Kraft American Cheese fragments stuck all over the table? Why are there wine cooler bottles behind the TV? Why is there a partially-eaten apple under the sofa cushion? Whose pants are these? Why is my 10" Henckels chef knife and a measuring cup in your room? Why do I have to ask that? Why is this happening to me?

I long for the simple days of infants, when they cried for no reason but at least they didn't take a bite out of a piece of fried chicken, wrap it in a paper towel, and hide it in the lamp.

[Cain]

Have I told you about the two week old steak I once found under a student's pillow?

[Junkenstein]

Have I told you about the two week old steak I once found under a student's pillow?

This both impresses and horrifies me.

What was the thought process that led to that being the best possible storage place for a steak? Crack? Glue?

[Cain]

Being Ukrainian, as far as I can tell.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Being Ukrainian, as far as I can tell.

Dealing with Lithuanian housemates, I think that there's some basic disconnect with east and west and what is, for lack of a better term, normal.

Also, Nigel, that sucks. Sorry to hear it.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

In all fairness, I was a shitawful teenager. Mainly it was because my conservative parents sent me to spend a summer with my unbeknownst too them gay cousin. As a result I became extremely opinionated about subjects that were super taboo in redneck conservative TN. Dunno why they'd rebel growing up in glorious pdx.  Maybe a teenage vagina induced angst. Or raging testosterone irked-ness.

Moving away improved my relationship with my parents 10 fold. Sucks it took until 23 for that to occur.

It's part of being a teen. We're all shitty in someway or another, and Nigel's got the age range right.

Around that age, I started doing my own laundry, cooking for myself, doing the dishes that I used, etc...

But my room was a fucking disaster, and I was a little shit in other ways, and a lazy student to boot. That was one of the things that I discovered in college. I either was a lazy student, just didn't have the pathways properly developed, or most likely a combination of the two. Fact is, I just plain didn't understand things that later seemed obvious to me (math) or I understood it but was too selfabsorbed with not being able to do things that were more interesting (i.e. pure entertainment vs. history and language)

[Cain]

Yes, though I wouldn't say that to a Lithuanian's face.  As far as they are concerned, they are Western, when compared with Belarussians, Ukrainians, Russians etc.  Like the Czechs, they get very offended when referred to as Eastern European.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Yes, though I wouldn't say that to a Lithuanian's face.  As far as they are concerned, they are Western, when compared with Belarussians, Ukrainians, Russians etc.  Like the Czechs, they get very offended when referred to as Eastern European.

I'm too polite, even while shutting off the smoke alarm at 5:30 am for them while they munch burnt toast, to point out any glaring differences.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Other than I should still be asleep, of course.

[Doktor Howl]

Nigel:  Have a "GI party".

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Have I told you about the two week old steak I once found under a student's pillow?

That made me close my eyes and sigh heavily.

Because it's both crushingly defeating and utterly unsurprising. You just kind of have to throw your hands up and try to turn off the part of your brain that's screaming "WHY? WHY???" because there's no fucking logic. They're regressed to the point of being some kind of cave animals, is all.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel:  Have a "GI party".

What is this? 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The other thing about teenagers that they don't understand is that their parents have lives and interests outside of cleaning up after them and giving them money. The teenager can't comprehend this, but they are a temporary shitstorm of chaos in someone else's otherwise pretty stable life. It really doesn't occur to them, when they are waking up the whole house by "looking for a snack" at 3 am, that they are basically the shittiest housemate that their parents have ever had, and their parents are eagerly waiting for normalcy to resume when they finally move out. To the teenager, their behavior is completely normal, and their parents just need to deal with it because that's life.

Personally, I'm in countdown mode. As soon as the smallest one turns 18 I'm moving into a smaller house so they can't move back in.