Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Principia Discussion => Topic started by: Malaclypse the Tertiary on September 06, 2005, 10:43:10 AM

Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Malaclypse the Tertiary on September 06, 2005, 10:43:10 AM
Once there was a student of a Guru, who was always asking his master for a hit of the great stuff he was on- but the Master always said no.

Then one night, the Master decided to give the studen a chance. He sent the student home, then dressed in rags, smeared shit on his face, and followed his pupil screaming "DRINK MY PISS! DRINK MY PISS!"

The student was frightened and ran. The Master ran after him still screaming, "DRINK MY PISS! DRINK MY PISS!" Finnaly he cornered the student, but the boy punched him and got away.

If only the student had realized- The drug passed through the urine.
So he missed his chance.

Bu-dum-bum- ching!
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: the other anonymous on September 06, 2005, 11:35:56 AM
Best philosophy joke ever:

Logic.
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell on September 06, 2005, 02:50:19 PM
Heisenberg is riding in the navigator's seat of Schr??dinger's car, and a cat jumps out in the middle of the road and Schr??dinger slams on the brakes. The car zooms over the cat. Schr??dinger says "Jesus, did I kill that cat?" Heisenberg says "It is uncertain".

What, no, that's more of a physics joke, plus it's unfunny
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: East Coast Hustle on September 06, 2005, 03:22:43 PM
d'you hear about the buddhist that refused novocaine when he got a root canal?



he wanted to transcend dental medication.

8)
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: East Coast Hustle on September 06, 2005, 03:23:21 PM
d'you hear about the buddhist vaccum cleaner?








it comes with no attachments.


8)
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: East Coast Hustle on September 06, 2005, 03:23:59 PM
what did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?



















"make me one with everything."

8)
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Cain on September 06, 2005, 03:25:47 PM
What did the hot dog tender reply when the buddhist asked for his change?




















Change must come from within
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell on September 06, 2005, 04:07:20 PM
what did the Discordian say to the hot dog vendor?
Nothing, because the Discordian only had 50 cents and a bus pass.
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: agent compassion on September 06, 2005, 04:07:21 PM
:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

I like the one from the PD about the monk who got the contents of the upstairs toilet on his head...and the passerby says "Who is that man?" and other passerby says "Some say he's a holy man, others say he's a shithead."

:P
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: LMNO on September 06, 2005, 04:11:20 PM
Quote from: Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarellwhat did the Discordian say to the hot dog vendor?
Nothing, because the Discordian only had 50 cents and a bus pass.


Quote from: Dr DreWhat ever happened to falling in love with a nigga with a bus pass?
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mangrove on September 06, 2005, 07:20:22 PM
Why do anarchists drink herbal tea?













Because property is theft.
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Iron Sulfide on September 06, 2005, 07:49:48 PM
i'm sticking with


AYURVEDAS ARE BELONG TO US
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Malaclypse the Tertiary on September 07, 2005, 09:13:04 PM
Wheeeeeeeee!
and Ah-ha ha ha ha ha. to all

The Bob Dole Forum index deffinately gets a nod.
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on September 07, 2005, 09:19:23 PM
Quote from: the other anonymousBest philosophy joke ever:

Logic.

(http://hitsquadsuperstars.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/.pond/you-not-funny.jpg.w300h201.jpg)

Fuck you Tripod!

(http://photos1.blogger.com/img/143/1515/640/this%20is%20not%20funny%20clown.jpg)
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: unlike_someone on September 08, 2005, 12:28:38 AM
Descartes walks into a caf?© and sits down ready to order. A
waiter comes up to him and asks, "Do you need a menu?"
Descartes replies, "I think not," and he disappears!
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on September 08, 2005, 01:58:49 AM
Ok, that was funny.
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 08, 2005, 02:00:03 AM
Quote from: East Coast Hustled'you hear about the buddhist that refused novocaine when he got a root canal?



he wanted to transcend dental medication.

8)

Oh, yeah. :lol:
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: the other anonymous on September 08, 2005, 06:54:33 AM
Quote from: fnordiscordiahttp://photos1.blogger.com/img/143/1515/640/this%20is%20not%20funny%20clown.jpg

Descartes: Senses cannot be trusted, therefore everything might be an illusion. However, the fact that Descartes doubted is not in doubt. Therefore, nothing exists except the self.

Zen Buddhists: Reality is. The self is an illusion built out of false concepts of identity and individuality. All is one.

Don't you get it?

Quote from: fnordiscordiaSTFU

Never! I now realize the errors of my ways! IF WE STFU, THEN THE "BOB" DOLE'S HAVE WON!!
Title: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on September 08, 2005, 07:00:00 AM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v237/king_tux/boring.jpg)
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Cain on February 26, 2009, 12:33:07 PM
Bump
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mangrove on February 27, 2009, 04:06:47 PM
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=19893.0
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: hooplala on February 27, 2009, 04:28:59 PM
:rimshot:
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 28, 2009, 06:01:17 AM
Quote from: Mangrove on September 06, 2005, 07:20:22 PM
Why do anarchists drink herbal tea?













Because property is theft.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*spew*
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Vegetable Sadist on March 03, 2009, 10:42:47 PM
Two behaviorists are having sex. One says to the other "That was good for you, how was it for me?"


Honestly, thats the best I have.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: rong on March 03, 2009, 11:23:49 PM
why did the existentialist go to the eye doctor?

















because he was now sighted
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Idiot on March 14, 2009, 11:54:22 AM
you
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: the other anonymous on April 03, 2009, 04:15:47 AM
Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: That's not funny.


One time, Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door while I was changing my nephew's diaper, and they were all like "Oh, I can see you're busy" and they stood there and watched...

-toa,
rule 34 on diaper rash? time to log the fuck off!
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 30, 2013, 06:05:03 PM
Quote from: Malaclypse the Tertiary on September 06, 2005, 10:43:10 AM
Once there was a student of a Guru, who was always asking his master for a hit of the great stuff he was on- but the Master always said no.

Then one night, the Master decided to give the studen a chance. He sent the student home, then dressed in rags, smeared shit on his face, and followed his pupil screaming "DRINK MY PISS! DRINK MY PISS!"

The student was frightened and ran. The Master ran after him still screaming, "DRINK MY PISS! DRINK MY PISS!" Finnaly he cornered the student, but the boy punched him and got away.

If only the student had realized- The drug passed through the urine.
So he missed his chance.

Bu-dum-bum- ching!

BUMP
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Ben Shapiro on July 31, 2013, 03:15:09 AM
A HFT takes a shower, and goes outside for a walk.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Pere Ubu on October 07, 2013, 08:40:53 PM
Best philosophy joke?


Ayn Rand.

Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 07, 2013, 11:49:13 PM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 07, 2013, 08:40:53 PM
Best philosophy joke?


Ayn Rand.

:spittake:
:lulz:
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Salty on October 08, 2013, 12:10:08 AM
Quote from: Not Your Nigel on October 07, 2013, 11:49:13 PM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 07, 2013, 08:40:53 PM
Best philosophy joke?


Ayn Rand.

:spittake:
:lulz:

Thread over.

Also, winner of Least Hateable Noob 2013, congrats, Pere Ubu.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 08, 2013, 12:16:34 AM
Quote from: Alty on October 08, 2013, 12:10:08 AM
Quote from: Not Your Nigel on October 07, 2013, 11:49:13 PM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 07, 2013, 08:40:53 PM
Best philosophy joke?


Ayn Rand.

:spittake:
:lulz:

Thread over.

Also, winner of Least Hateable Noob 2013, congrats, Pere Ubu.

I still hate him.  :madbanana:

I'll think of a reason later.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Pere Ubu on October 08, 2013, 01:14:32 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 08, 2013, 12:16:34 AM

I still hate him.  :madbanana:

I'll think of a reason later.

I'm ugly and my mother dresses me funny.

Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Dildo Argentino on October 08, 2013, 08:59:06 AM
I heard this in Ireland:

God, Jesus and St. Peter are playing golf in heaven.

St Peter starts. He puts the ball down, hits it, it goes straight in the hole.

Jesus is next. He swings, hits the ball, the ball flies off along a tremendous arch, hits a branch of a tree, bounces back, lands straight in the hole.

God steps up. He hits the ball with a tremendous swing, it flies way outside the course, lands in the mouth of a rabbit. A hawk appears, dives down, picks up the rabbit and flies over the course with it in its talons. Suddenly, an eagle attacks the hawk, the hawk drops the rabbit, as the rabbit is falling through the air it drops the golf ball and it falls right in the hole.

Jesus says: For fuck's sake, dad, it's only a game!
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: hooplala on October 08, 2013, 03:55:11 PM
That is neither about philosophy, nor funny.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Dildo Argentino on October 09, 2013, 08:01:26 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on October 08, 2013, 03:55:11 PM
That is neither about philosophy, nor funny.

Actually, it is. It's about religion, which is sort of folk ontology, epistemology and ethics all in one.

Funny: it's subjective, you know.  :)
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Don Coyote on October 09, 2013, 08:39:33 AM
Quote from: holist on October 09, 2013, 08:01:26 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on October 08, 2013, 03:55:11 PM
That is neither about philosophy, nor funny.

Actually, it is. It's about religion, which is sort of folk ontology, epistemology and ethics all in one.

Funny: it's subjective, you know.  :)


you still suck at jokes.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Dildo Argentino on October 09, 2013, 10:27:14 AM
Quote from: Don Coyote on October 09, 2013, 08:39:33 AM
Quote from: holist on October 09, 2013, 08:01:26 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on October 08, 2013, 03:55:11 PM
That is neither about philosophy, nor funny.

Actually, it is. It's about religion, which is sort of folk ontology, epistemology and ethics all in one.

Funny: it's subjective, you know.  :)

you still suck at jokes.

I put it down to very different cultural background. I suck at your jokes.

If you mean the literal reading of the above comment that's an... affectation :)
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: LMNO on October 09, 2013, 01:20:13 PM
Ok that one ^^^ wasn't bad.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mangrove on October 10, 2013, 09:08:25 PM
 :genius:

CARTESIAN DUALISM!!
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Faust on October 10, 2013, 09:22:43 PM
Quote from: holist on October 08, 2013, 08:59:06 AM
I heard this in Ireland:

God, Jesus and St. Peter are playing golf in heaven.

St Peter starts. He puts the ball down, hits it, it goes straight in the hole.

Jesus is next. He swings, hits the ball, the ball flies off along a tremendous arch, hits a branch of a tree, bounces back, lands straight in the hole.

God steps up. He hits the ball with a tremendous swing, it flies way outside the course, lands in the mouth of a rabbit. A hawk appears, dives down, picks up the rabbit and flies over the course with it in its talons. Suddenly, an eagle attacks the hawk, the hawk drops the rabbit, as the rabbit is falling through the air it drops the golf ball and it falls right in the hole.

Jesus says: For fuck's sake, dad, it's only a game!

The Aristocrats!
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: minuspace on November 25, 2013, 07:41:04 AM
Quote from: holist on October 09, 2013, 10:27:14 AM
Quote from: Don Coyote on October 09, 2013, 08:39:33 AM
Quote from: holist on October 09, 2013, 08:01:26 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on October 08, 2013, 03:55:11 PM
That is neither about philosophy, nor funny.

Actually, it is. It's about religion, which is sort of folk ontology, epistemology and ethics all in one.

Funny: it's subjective, you know.  :)

you still suck at jokes.

I put it down to very different cultural background. I suck at your jokes.

If you mean the literal reading of the above comment that's an... affectation :)
And an exhausting one at that :lulz:
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Penumbral on February 06, 2014, 09:31:21 PM
I'm a Nihilist. If you don't know what that means, don't worry. It's meaningless.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on February 07, 2014, 04:26:30 AM
How about this? (http://www.bu.edu/philo/academics/academic-programs/ba-in-philosophy/)
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 07, 2014, 07:55:35 PM
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on February 07, 2014, 04:26:30 AM
How about this? (http://www.bu.edu/philo/academics/academic-programs/ba-in-philosophy/)

:lulz: That'll do it.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Cramulus on February 07, 2014, 08:14:11 PM
Quote from: Mangrove on October 10, 2013, 09:08:25 PM
:genius:

CARTESIAN DUALISM!!

Rene Descartes walks into a resturant and sits down for dinner. The waiter comes over and asks if he'd like an appetizer

"No thank you" says Descartes, "I'd just like to order dinner"

"Would you like to hear our daily specials?" asks the waiter

"No" says Descartes, getting impatient

"Would you like a drink before dinner?" the waiter asks

Descartes is insulted, since he's a tee-totaler

"I think not!" he says indignantly, and POOF! he disappeared.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Slyph on August 20, 2014, 03:06:16 AM
Sartre is sitting at a cafe. He says to the waitress, "I'd like a cup of coffee, with no cream." The waitress says, "Sorry, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: minuspace on August 20, 2014, 06:02:21 AM
Quote from: Slyph on August 20, 2014, 03:06:16 AM
Sartre is sitting at a cafe. He says to the waitress, "I'd like a cup of coffee, with no cream." The waitress says, "Sorry, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"
Alas, it was not the lack of that for which I had been looking :lulz:
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Slyph on August 27, 2014, 08:28:45 PM
Dunno if this counts as a philosophy joke but *cough*

...

Why did the Libertarian cross the road?

FUCK YOU! WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW, HUH? AM I BEING DETAINED? AM I FREE TO GO OFFICER? AM I BEING DETAINED??
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: minuspace on August 27, 2014, 09:49:00 PM
Hegel:  so what can you tell me about synthetic a priori judgements?
Kant:   that they are practically grounded in transcendental apperception by my faculty of pure imagination.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 28, 2014, 06:44:58 AM
Quote from: Slyph on August 27, 2014, 08:28:45 PM
Dunno if this counts as a philosophy joke but *cough*

...

Why did the Libertarian cross the road?

FUCK YOU! WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW, HUH? AM I BEING DETAINED? AM I FREE TO GO OFFICER? AM I BEING DETAINED??

:lulz:
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on January 30, 2015, 11:02:55 AM
Q.) How many nihilists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A.) It doesn't matter.

EDIT:

here's one that's a bit more esoteric

Q.) Why did the plucked chicken cross the road?
A.) It was being brought to Plato as an example of a featherless biped that is not a human


EDIT:
Q.)Why doesn't the cube fuck the tetrahedron
A.) Because they're platonic solids

that one's also a math joke

EDIT:
Q.) Why did the chicken cross the road?
A.) [Insert long winded essay about free will, animal consciousness/umwelt, determinism, and the meaning of the word "why" here]

Edit:

Q.) How many epistemologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A.) The more important question is how do we know
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Meunster on January 30, 2015, 02:29:56 PM
http://existentialcomics.com/comic/64


Why did no one post this?
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on January 30, 2015, 02:48:33 PM
www.nietzschefamilycircus.com/
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 30, 2015, 03:54:38 PM
Q. How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 30, 2015, 03:55:10 PM
A. Suck its dick.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on January 31, 2015, 03:28:25 AM
Q.) What's the difference between L. Ron Hubbard and Ayn Rand?
A.) One wrote a collection of science fiction books that became the focus of a deranged cult, the other wrote Battlefield Earth

EDIT:

Q.) What do you call an ineffectual philosopher?
A.) Immanuel Can't

EDIT:

"Nirvana" refers to the cessation of suffering brought about by the extinction of the self that results from taking heroin and shooting yourself in the head with a shotgun.

EDIT:

When you gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss snidely responds "why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer"
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on January 31, 2015, 08:04:33 PM
Ever heard the one about the 3 Zen Masters that walked into a bar?

Nothing really happened.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 01, 2015, 07:35:17 AM
Q.) What's spread by cats, causes disease in pregnant women, and advocates non-violent resistence as the best means to bring about positive social change?
A.) Toxoplasma Gandhi

EDIT:
Q.) What's  the difference between an honest person and a magnetic monopole?
A.) It's possible that we may eventually find a magnetic monopole.

EDIT:
Q.) What's the difference between Rene Descartes and the Marquis de Sade?
A.) One was the most brilliant philosopher in the history of France, the other invented analytical geometry.

EDIT:
Q.) How many eastern myatics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A.) None. Change must come from within.

Edit:

Q.) Why did the chicken cross the road?
A.) It didn't. To cross the road it would first to cross half the road, and then cross half the remaining distance, and then half the distance remaining after that, and so on ad infinitum. No matter how thin the road it would always require an infinite number of actions to cros it and from this we can conclude that motion does not exist.

EDIT:

The action of Also Sprach Zarathustra took place on Holy Saturday
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 01, 2015, 07:33:09 PM
At least Nigel has heard me tell this one.

How many angels does it take to screw in a light bulb?

At least 2.

The real question is..  why are they in a light bulb?
It must be a turn On.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 01, 2015, 08:00:57 PM
How many recovering alcoholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?


None... they'll just turn it over, walk away, and let it screw itself.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Doktor Howl on February 01, 2015, 11:31:22 PM
How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None.

They just sit in the dark.

Alone.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 02, 2015, 05:02:24 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on February 01, 2015, 11:31:22 PM
How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None.

They just sit in the dark.

Alone.

:lulz:

I liked this one extra because the old man is a drummer.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 02, 2015, 06:43:30 AM
What is far more annoying than an Athenian philosopher?

Two of them.



Apocryphal, considered the height of Spartan humor during the very brief 'more words' period of Laconic philosophy. Records are sketchy as much was lost to a social backlash that saw almost all documents written from the period used as shop rags and toiletry accessories.
- Dustrael, 'last of the muthaeffin' Grigori
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 02, 2015, 08:25:39 AM
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to observe it, will I still get busted for trafficking in endangered amazonian hardwoods?
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: minuspace on February 02, 2015, 07:04:59 PM
Eight priests were going to the French Riviera on vacation and decided that they would make this a real adventure by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. That would be easy because the Riviera is clothing optional. So as soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really big, outrageous, cool sunglasses.

The next morning, the priests went to the beach wearing only sun block, the sunglasses and a smile.  They were sitting on beach chairs enjoying a drink, when a drop dead gorgeous blonde, obviously natural, came walking straight toward them with her breasts swinging like church bells.

They couldn't help but stare and then she smiled and said, "Good morning Father, good morning Father..." nodding and addressing each one of them individually, then passed on by. They were stunned -- how in the world did she recognise all of them as priests?

The next day they went back to the store to buy huge outrageous hats to complete the disguise. Again they settled on the beach, in their chairs, drinks in hand, to enjoy the sunshine.

After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing only a sun hat this time, came walking toward them again.

She approached them and greeted them individually, "Good morning, Father, good morning Father..." and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, "Just a minute young lady. Yes we are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?!"
"Oh, Father, don't you recognise me? I'm Sister Angela."

[Ed.  Format paragraphs]
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 04, 2015, 09:33:09 AM
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on January 31, 2015, 03:28:25 AM
When you gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss snidely responds "why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer"

It seems that the day after I posted this SMBC did a similar but much better executed version of the same joke:

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=3628#comic
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 04, 2015, 04:27:23 PM
What's the difference between a Satanist and a Luciferian?

Mostly how comfortable you are with a tie.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: minuspace on February 04, 2015, 08:04:12 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 04, 2015, 04:27:23 PM
What's the difference between a Satanist and a Luciferian?

Mostly how comfortable you are with a tie.

Thank you for being so... discerning :lulz:
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: axod on February 04, 2015, 08:51:25 PM
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 04, 2015, 09:33:09 AM
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on January 31, 2015, 03:28:25 AM
When you gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss snidely responds "why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer"

It seems that the day after I posted this SMBC did a similar but much better executed version of the same joke:

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=3628#comic
When I met the abyss, I ripped it's eyes out of its head and put them into my skull, and, for a moment, I saw things anew.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 04, 2015, 10:15:01 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on February 04, 2015, 08:04:12 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 04, 2015, 04:27:23 PM
What's the difference between a Satanist and a Luciferian?

Mostly how comfortable you are with a tie.

Thank you for being so... discerning :lulz:

I do live for the subtletease.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 05, 2015, 07:21:15 AM
Not mine, but kind of funny

http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/283/a/7/battle_not_with_monsters_by_sebreg-d5hej8i.jpg
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: minuspace on February 06, 2015, 02:06:15 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 04, 2015, 10:15:01 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on February 04, 2015, 08:04:12 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 04, 2015, 04:27:23 PM
What's the difference between a Satanist and a Luciferian?

Mostly how comfortable you are with a tie.

Thank you for being so... discerning :lulz:

I do live for the subtletease.
I try to relegate them knot.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 06, 2015, 08:34:38 AM
"What does Plato's Theory of Forms have to say about the DMV?"

(alternate version: "What does Plato's Theory of Forms have to say about the tax code?")
(alternate version: "What does Plato's Theory of Forms have to say about online job applications?")
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 07, 2015, 06:07:49 AM
Quote from: LuciferX on February 06, 2015, 02:06:15 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 04, 2015, 10:15:01 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on February 04, 2015, 08:04:12 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 04, 2015, 04:27:23 PM
What's the difference between a Satanist and a Luciferian?

Mostly how comfortable you are with a tie.

Thank you for being so... discerning :lulz:

I do live for the subtletease.
I try to relegate them knot.
I'm (k)not known as slow to tie one on. #actuallydrunkatthetime

Gosh you're much more fun than the psych ward Lucifer I met that one time... uhm @ bandcamp. All I remember of the encounter is that he could shoot a fair game of billiards and was otherwise not too terribly fun.
He made QUITE an impression on me but otherwise damn if I can remember what we talked about in particular.
I remember joking quite a bit some of it very mean, after my fashion. I remember it took him a while to loosen up socially despite that he had gone out of his way to invite me to play with him in the rec room.

I'm not comfortable with the memory gap but hey, it was bandcamp and there were drugs heavily involved for most of us.

How's that for a philosophy joke?

If you meet the local Lucifer but don't remember the conversation did you really take your pills that day? Were they really yours before you took them? Is it wrong to tease about Socrates' drinking problem and lifelong question habit? Is four questions too many? Is there REALLY a five?


Mmmmm... it's name is Java Lava from a local craft brewery and I  love  it!
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: minuspace on February 07, 2015, 08:02:33 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 07, 2015, 06:07:49 AM
Quote from: LuciferX on February 06, 2015, 02:06:15 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 04, 2015, 10:15:01 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on February 04, 2015, 08:04:12 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 04, 2015, 04:27:23 PM
What's the difference between a Satanist and a Luciferian?

Mostly how comfortable you are with a tie.

Thank you for being so... discerning :lulz:

I do live for the subtletease.
I try to relegate them knot.
I'm (k)not known as slow to tie one on. #actuallydrunkatthetime

Gosh you're much more fun than the psych ward Lucifer I met that one time... uhm @ bandcamp. All I remember of the encounter is that he could shoot a fair game of billiards and was otherwise not too terribly fun.
He made QUITE an impression on me but otherwise damn if I can remember what we talked about in particular.
I remember joking quite a bit some of it very mean, after my fashion. I remember it took him a while to loosen up socially despite that he had gone out of his way to invite me to play with him in the rec room.

I'm not comfortable with the memory gap but hey, it was bandcamp and there were drugs heavily involved for most of us.

How's that for a philosophy joke?

If you meet the local Lucifer but don't remember the conversation did you really take your pills that day? Were they really yours before you took them? Is it wrong to tease about Socrates' drinking problem and lifelong question habit? Is four questions too many? Is there REALLY a five?


Mmmmm... it's name is Java Lava from a local craft brewery and I  love  it!

Sounds about right.  IIRC, during the game I went to get some cash round the bar and then accidentally hit my knee cutting back to the pool table.  Hurt like hell and I was trying to play it cool.  But, there I go, playing devil's advocate again. Very hazy. I think the event spawned all kinds of mayhem when I introduced myself as "Legion" to the peg-legged Pirate that I had mistaken for the owner of that fine establishment.  The rest is all liability.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 08, 2015, 01:48:43 AM
Quote from: LuciferX on February 07, 2015, 08:02:33 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 07, 2015, 06:07:49 AM
Quote from: LuciferX on February 06, 2015, 02:06:15 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 04, 2015, 10:15:01 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on February 04, 2015, 08:04:12 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 04, 2015, 04:27:23 PM
What's the difference between a Satanist and a Luciferian?

Mostly how comfortable you are with a tie.

Thank you for being so... discerning :lulz:

I do live for the subtletease.
I try to relegate them knot.
I'm (k)not known as slow to tie one on. #actuallydrunkatthetime

Gosh you're much more fun than the psych ward Lucifer I met that one time... uhm @ bandcamp. All I remember of the encounter is that he could shoot a fair game of billiards and was otherwise not too terribly fun.
He made QUITE an impression on me but otherwise damn if I can remember what we talked about in particular.
I remember joking quite a bit some of it very mean, after my fashion. I remember it took him a while to loosen up socially despite that he had gone out of his way to invite me to play with him in the rec room.

I'm not comfortable with the memory gap but hey, it was bandcamp and there were drugs heavily involved for most of us.

How's that for a philosophy joke?

If you meet the local Lucifer but don't remember the conversation did you really take your pills that day? Were they really yours before you took them? Is it wrong to tease about Socrates' drinking problem and lifelong question habit? Is four questions too many? Is there REALLY a five?


Mmmmm... it's name is Java Lava from a local craft brewery and I  love  it!

Sounds about right.  IIRC, during the game I went to get some cash round the bar and then accidentally hit my knee cutting back to the pool table.  Hurt like hell and I was trying to play it cool.  But, there I go, playing devil's advocate again. Very hazy. I think the event spawned all kinds of mayhem when I introduced myself as "Legion" to the peg-legged Pirate that I had mistaken for the owner of that fine establishment.  The rest is all liability.

Hi we are Legion and we've just injured this fleshbag we're riding in on your property and need your insurance info. Now.

Fun convo! :lulz:
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Chelagoras The Boulder on February 08, 2015, 04:08:49 AM
Not mine, but still classic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QgCfnBtF7M (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QgCfnBtF7M)
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 08, 2015, 08:29:48 AM
Q.) What do you call a hip-hop artist who teaches people using a series of guided questionsto expose contradictions and lead people to tenable conclusions?
A.) Socratic Method Man

EDIT:

Q.) How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
A.) No soap, radio.

EDIT:

If they dug up David Hume would that make him "David exhume"?

EDIT:

If they dug up David Hume would that make him "David exhume"
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 10, 2015, 07:23:58 AM
That Lao Tzu is one hoopy frood who really knows where his Tao is.

EDIT:

Q.) How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
A.) Do I look like the fire marshal to you!?
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 21, 2015, 06:55:35 AM
Q.) What do you call an unimpressive Greek philosopher?
A.) Mediocrates
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: axod on February 21, 2015, 09:28:36 AM
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on February 21, 2015, 06:55:35 AM
Q.) What do you call an unimpressive Greek philosopher?
A.) Mediocrates
:lulz: except when when his mediocrity was also mediocre.
Then he would become...  Remediocrates.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 21, 2015, 04:19:30 PM
So a man is being interviewed by a potential employer and the interview has gone well and is winding down. The interviewer asks the prospect, "What would you say is your greatest weakness as an employee?"

The man thinks a moment and says, "I'm totally honest with people."

The interviewer blinks and says, "I don't think that's really a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 22, 2015, 02:21:12 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 21, 2015, 04:19:30 PM
So a man is being interviewed by a potential employer and the interview has gone well and is winding down. The interviewer asks the prospect, "What would you say is your greatest weakness as an employee?"

The man thinks a moment and says, "I'm totally honest with people."

The interviewer blinks and says, "I don't think that's really a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."

:lulz:
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: axod on February 22, 2015, 03:29:38 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 21, 2015, 04:19:30 PM
So a man is being interviewed by a potential employer and the interview has gone well and is winding down. The interviewer asks the prospect, "What would you say is your greatest weakness as an employee?"

The man thinks a moment and says, "I'm totally honest with people."

The interviewer blinks and says, "I don't think that's really a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."
:lulz: :lulz: I like that alot!
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 22, 2015, 11:27:53 AM
 :thanks:
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 22, 2015, 09:42:43 PM
Quote from: axod on February 22, 2015, 03:29:38 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 21, 2015, 04:19:30 PM
So a man is being interviewed by a potential employer and the interview has gone well and is winding down. The interviewer asks the prospect, "What would you say is your greatest weakness as an employee?"

The man thinks a moment and says, "I'm totally honest with people."

The interviewer blinks and says, "I don't think that's really a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."
:lulz: :lulz: I like that alot!

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TffVGLElI/AAAAAAAACxA/trH1ch0Y3tI/s320/ALOT6.png)

(sorry)
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Reginald Ret on February 22, 2015, 10:28:51 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 21, 2015, 04:19:30 PM
So a man is being interviewed by a potential employer and the interview has gone well and is winding down. The interviewer asks the prospect, "What would you say is your greatest weakness as an employee?"

The man thinks a moment and says, "I'm totally honest with people."

The interviewer blinks and says, "I don't think that's really a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."
Hah yeah! I like that one, it used to hang on my wall at work.

(http://i.imgur.com/HcZOX6m.jpg)
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 23, 2015, 09:54:56 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 22, 2015, 09:42:43 PM
Quote from: axod on February 22, 2015, 03:29:38 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on February 21, 2015, 04:19:30 PM
So a man is being interviewed by a potential employer and the interview has gone well and is winding down. The interviewer asks the prospect, "What would you say is your greatest weakness as an employee?"

The man thinks a moment and says, "I'm totally honest with people."

The interviewer blinks and says, "I don't think that's really a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."
:lulz: :lulz: I like that alot!

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/S8TffVGLElI/AAAAAAAACxA/trH1ch0Y3tI/s320/ALOT6.png)

(sorry)

:lulz:
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on July 30, 2015, 04:33:44 PM
Then there's the one about how "Certain people led Socrates to a life long drinking problem"

Got a pic for this. Hope to make a meme.

Also a product brand

Socra-teas
hand selected blends of the finest "fair-trade" teas and organic hemlock
bleach-free teabags made through environmentally sustainable processes
"No more questions"
"Why drink the kool-aid when you can enjoy a hot, soothing, fresh cup of Socra-teas?"
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Lake of Lethe on July 31, 2015, 08:32:27 PM
How many discordians does it take to form a forum?

About ....... .... Oh yes train ride, was going somewhere....else.......

11

Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: hooplala on August 01, 2015, 03:46:59 AM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on July 31, 2015, 08:32:27 PM
How many discordians does it take to form a forum?

About ....... .... Oh yes train ride, was going somewhere....else.......

11
t

Hi Acos-whatever.

PHASE II BEGINS, FOLKS!!
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 01, 2015, 04:16:00 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on August 01, 2015, 03:46:59 AM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on July 31, 2015, 08:32:27 PM
How many discordians does it take to form a forum?

About ....... .... Oh yes train ride, was going somewhere....else.......

11
t

Hi Acos-whatever.

PHASE II BEGINS, FOLKS!!

IP locations disagree.  But potard could get past us on occasion, so maybe.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on August 01, 2015, 04:22:45 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on August 01, 2015, 03:46:59 AM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on July 31, 2015, 08:32:27 PM
How many discordians does it take to form a forum?

About ....... .... Oh yes train ride, was going somewhere....else.......

11
t

Hi Acos-whatever.

PHASE II BEGINS, FOLKS!!

I'm not entirely convinced yet. This is an extremely different kind of fake-ass   persona vastly differing from the very thin but painfully consistent sampling I've been able to drag myself to reading.

I'm simply uncertain that it's correct to give Acosmehwhatever
such credit as a performer or writer. So I'm putting forth a "2 separate but equally boring and pretentious spags" theory. The most pointless and boring theory ever, but there you have it.

At any rate, time will tell..

Speaking of time, regards Hoopla! Sadly I'm must get back to the magical land of "IRL" where such sad questions are not a problem, barstools being plentiful and ready to hand.


And people know that Lethe is a river.





Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on August 01, 2015, 04:24:33 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 01, 2015, 04:16:00 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on August 01, 2015, 03:46:59 AM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on July 31, 2015, 08:32:27 PM
How many discordians does it take to form a forum?

About ....... .... Oh yes train ride, was going somewhere....else.......

11
t

Hi Acos-whatever.

PHASE II BEGINS, FOLKS!!

IP locations disagree.  But potard could get past us on occasion, so maybe.

AH! Point in case. Guess we'll see. What's the opposite of suspense? I feel it... I think.

Later sir!
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: hooplala on August 01, 2015, 04:33:51 AM
Q: Does it really matter?

A: No.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Lake of Lethe on August 01, 2015, 05:43:15 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 01, 2015, 04:16:00 AM

IP locations disagree.  But potard could get past us on occasion, so maybe.

Yuck....so unneeded......pervert

Look at, play with, take pictures if you have to....of YOUR OWN IP
Beings like you are such the popular default! I don't get it?
LEAVE other beings IP alone....is that SOOooooo difficult?

My IP isn't even that stunning, proberly rather mundane.......but you have to probe don't you! Leave it, stop shinning your shoes, stop leaving your not so smart phone on the floor, stop standing in the exact spot where you can see the models get changed in the mirror,..........(oh that was me last time)
Any how I feel molested, infiltrated and just plain abused.
I need a cleanse....water, na, earth, na, fire, you wish, air....BLOW ME

The train stops here sucker
:kingmeh:
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Lake of Lethe on August 01, 2015, 06:07:20 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on August 01, 2015, 04:22:45 AM

And people know that Lethe is a river.

OH REALLY...... Did YOU make it, was you there?

What the fuck is it to your conception anyway

Lake....... River?
Why bring it up you padantic excuse? What have I done to you?
Maybe I'm just a VERY long and WINDING lake, ever considered that, butt cheeks?
Or do you, within your limitation, conceive that ALL lakes are roundish?
Maybe your education is seeping out?

Your not creation you know, or maybe you don't..... You say river....... I say kiss my rippling lake shaped stone skipping arse.

Be well, now were was that platform?
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Cain on August 01, 2015, 06:15:17 PM
 :roll:

Edit: look, we all know how this works by now.  New person shows up posting gibberish, forum regulars are not impressed, new person resorts to hostility, hostility is returned in kind, escalating arguments and then finally the new person leaves in a huff for forever (because we're not worthy of your insights or something).

What I'm asking is that can you just skip right to the end bit, please?  I've seen this song and dance enough times to not care for the journey to the end destination.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 01, 2015, 07:15:58 PM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on August 01, 2015, 05:43:15 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 01, 2015, 04:16:00 AM

IP locations disagree.  But potard could get past us on occasion, so maybe.

Yuck....so unneeded......pervert

Look at, play with, take pictures if you have to....of YOUR OWN IP
Beings like you are such the popular default! I don't get it?
LEAVE other beings IP alone....is that SOOooooo difficult?

My IP isn't even that stunning, proberly rather mundane.......but you have to probe don't you! Leave it, stop shinning your shoes, stop leaving your not so smart phone on the floor, stop standing in the exact spot where you can see the models get changed in the mirror,..........(oh that was me last time)
Any how I feel molested, infiltrated and just plain abused.
I need a cleanse....water, na, earth, na, fire, you wish, air....BLOW ME

The train stops here sucker
:kingmeh:

Okay, regardless of who you are, you can now consider me hostile.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Lake of Lethe on August 01, 2015, 07:33:26 PM
Quote from: Cain on August 01, 2015, 06:15:17 PM
:roll:

Edit: look, we all know how this works by now.  New person shows up posting gibberish, forum regulars are not impressed, new person resorts to hostility, hostility is returned in kind, escalating arguments and then finally the new person leaves in a huff for forever (because we're not worthy of your insights or something).

What I'm asking is that can you just skip right to the end bit, please?  I've seen this song and dance enough times to not care for the journey to the end destination.

Yes certainly.... Im not trying to impress, im not attempting to covert.
I find after many years of search that the beings and this world are redundant.
When I was a child a school report stated that "lake sees no point in this subject" that subject was drama. I still see no point and this is 45 years later.
I am looking still for some one who can see that which I see if only to confirm my own stupidity.
I found your forum by coincidence, a path of disjointed thoughts.
I have attempted to "fit" in by Mimicking the interaction I have read. Zany then protective in a outlandish manner. I posted my "introduction" in a thread which was "old" so as to fund my partisapation.
In this so called existence I really have zero interest but I do continue to try and comprehend how "humans" continue to fuction even though slamming ones cranium with a blutt object called "I have no responsibility" must vex one?
I post the shit I do mainly to see if any one actually reads anymore?

Sorry, but that's the thing, I'm not sorry....I just can't be bothered with the bullshit, so I ask questions and enjoy (sadly) the look on "humans" faces.

Lake
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 01, 2015, 07:34:15 PM
Great, great.  Fuck off.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Lake of Lethe on August 01, 2015, 08:13:31 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 01, 2015, 07:34:15 PM
Great, great.  Fuck off.

Thanks, what I don't get is why I'm trying to justify myself to you all?

Fuck it, let me talk or ban me?

Like it or don't.

:argh!:
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: rong on August 01, 2015, 08:53:06 PM
(http://scouteu.s3.amazonaws.com/cards/images_vt/merged/everything_is_gonna_be_fine_0.jpg)
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on August 01, 2015, 09:20:30 PM
(http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.71961558.0602/flat,800x800,075,t.jpg)
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on August 01, 2015, 10:40:35 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on August 01, 2015, 09:20:30 PM
(http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.71961558.0602/flat,800x800,075,t.jpg)

There's an encouraging  Zen joke in there somewhere. I like it!
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 02, 2015, 12:29:22 AM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on August 01, 2015, 08:13:31 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 01, 2015, 07:34:15 PM
Great, great.  Fuck off.

Thanks, what I don't get is why I'm trying to justify myself to you all?

Fuck it, let me talk or ban me?

Like it or don't.

:argh!:

You can talk.  So can everyone else, even if you don't like it.

You called me a pervert for performing admin functions (ie, checking the IP location/city vs that of a known troll.  Your information wasn't looked at any farther than that, and wasn't generally released).  So now I assume the worst out of everything you say and do.

Action/reaction.  How could you possibly expect the universe - or another person - to behave any differently?

So again, fuck off.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Lake of Lethe on August 02, 2015, 05:17:53 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 02, 2015, 12:29:22 AM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on August 01, 2015, 08:13:31 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 01, 2015, 07:34:15 PM
Great, great.  Fuck off.

Thanks, what I don't get is why I'm trying to justify myself to you all?

Fuck it, let me talk or ban me?

Like it or don't.

:argh!:

You can talk.  So can everyone else, even if you don't like it.

You called me a pervert for performing admin functions (ie, checking the IP location/city vs that of a known troll.  Your information wasn't looked at any farther than that, and wasn't generally released).  So now I assume the worst out of everything you say and do.

Action/reaction.  How could you possibly expect the universe - or another person - to behave any differently?

So again, fuck off.

Cool, I wasn't actually calling you a pervert!
The concept was one of potential humor derived via the mixing of actions. If you re-read, I am likening your "looking at my Ip" as to "looking up my skirt"!
No actual malice was considered as I typed.
As my interaction has found a 'sore' spot, then I am happy to 'tickle your fancy' and retract that I consider you to be a pervert.

Look up as many IP's as you find a need to....I would even be 'ok' with you "pinging" me, if it can alleviate the hostility?
:oops:

Your play thing
Lake
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Meunster on August 02, 2015, 09:28:38 PM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on August 01, 2015, 08:13:31 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 01, 2015, 07:34:15 PM
Great, great.  Fuck off.

Thanks, what I don't get is why I'm trying to justify myself to you all?

Fuck it, let me talk or ban me?

Like it or don't.

:argh!:

Whoa man, Poe's law is fun and all, but you have to put the winky face so we know you're joking.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 02, 2015, 11:33:25 PM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on August 02, 2015, 05:17:53 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 02, 2015, 12:29:22 AM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on August 01, 2015, 08:13:31 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 01, 2015, 07:34:15 PM
Great, great.  Fuck off.

Thanks, what I don't get is why I'm trying to justify myself to you all?

Fuck it, let me talk or ban me?

Like it or don't.

:argh!:

You can talk.  So can everyone else, even if you don't like it.

You called me a pervert for performing admin functions (ie, checking the IP location/city vs that of a known troll.  Your information wasn't looked at any farther than that, and wasn't generally released).  So now I assume the worst out of everything you say and do.

Action/reaction.  How could you possibly expect the universe - or another person - to behave any differently?

So again, fuck off.

Cool, I wasn't actually calling you a pervert!
The concept was one of potential humor derived via the mixing of actions. If you re-read, I am likening your "looking at my Ip" as to "looking up my skirt"!
No actual malice was considered as I typed.
As my interaction has found a 'sore' spot, then I am happy to 'tickle your fancy' and retract that I consider you to be a pervert.

Look up as many IP's as you find a need to....I would even be 'ok' with you "pinging" me, if it can alleviate the hostility?
:oops:

Your play thing
Lake

Thanks, I guess. 

Is there any reason for the compulsion to be passive-aggressive? 
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on August 03, 2015, 09:44:21 AM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on August 01, 2015, 06:07:20 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on August 01, 2015, 04:22:45 AM

And people know that Lethe is a river.

OH REALLY...... Did YOU make it, was you there?

What the fuck is it to your conception anyway

Lake....... River?
Why bring it up you padantic excuse? What have I done to you?
Maybe I'm just a VERY long and WINDING lake, ever considered that, butt cheeks?
Or do you, within your limitation, conceive that ALL lakes are roundish?
Maybe your education is seeping out?

Your not creation you know, or maybe you don't..... You say river....... I say kiss my rippling lake shaped stone skipping arse.

Be well, now were was that platform?

Had you drunk the waters
of your presumed namesake

you might be tolerable.

As it stands I find your body
quite dry, thin, & shallow, Lake.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Freeky on August 03, 2015, 10:23:01 PM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on August 02, 2015, 05:17:53 PM

Cool, I wasn't actually calling you a pervert!
The concept was one of potential humor derived via the mixing of actions. If you re-read, I am likening your "looking at my Ip" as to "looking up my skirt"!

I just thought I'd isolate these sentences.

Ew.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 03, 2015, 10:36:49 PM
I didn't really expect much, so I wasn't disappointed.

Lethe can view checking an IP address as "checking up her skirt" all she likes.  I don't care.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Freeky on August 03, 2015, 10:41:56 PM
But, Dok, you're totally not a pervert by doing so.  Sounds legit!
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 03, 2015, 11:01:28 PM
Quote from: Choppas an' Sluggas on August 03, 2015, 10:41:56 PM
But, Dok, you're totally not a pervert by doing so.  Sounds legit!

It's just another friggin' Number6.  Or AKK.  Or any of those guys.  It's the same tired shit, time after time.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Freeky on August 03, 2015, 11:03:30 PM
Number 6 was at least fun to poke at.  This guy is just a pile of squick and gross.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 03, 2015, 11:25:59 PM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on August 01, 2015, 06:07:20 PM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on August 01, 2015, 04:22:45 AM

And people know that Lethe is a river.

OH REALLY...... Did YOU make it, was you there?

What the fuck is it to your conception anyway

Lake....... River?
Why bring it up you padantic excuse? What have I done to you?
Maybe I'm just a VERY long and WINDING lake, ever considered that, butt cheeks?
Or do you, within your limitation, conceive that ALL lakes are roundish?
Maybe your education is seeping out?

Your not creation you know, or maybe you don't..... You say river....... I say kiss my rippling lake shaped stone skipping arse.

Be well, now were was that platform?

Look what I missed while I was gone!


Nothing!
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 03, 2015, 11:29:57 PM
Quote from: Lake of Lethe on August 02, 2015, 05:17:53 PM
The concept was one of potential humor derived via the mixing of actions. If you re-read, I am likening your "looking at my Ip" as to "looking up my skirt"!

Thank you for explaining

that totally made it funnier.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: axod on August 04, 2015, 03:07:12 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/32V88IRh.jpg)
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: themanwhocreatedjazz on August 13, 2015, 06:13:39 PM
It's not mine, but I still think you all need to see it -
http://www.fellowtravelerblog.com/2011/05/13/solipsist-humor-from-plantinga/
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on August 14, 2015, 03:36:17 AM
Q.) What's the difference between 2Pac and God?
A.) God is dead.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: hooplala on August 14, 2015, 07:26:50 AM
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on August 14, 2015, 03:36:17 AM
Q.) What's the difference between 2Pac and God?
A.) God is dead.

I laughed.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: axod on August 14, 2015, 10:23:07 AM
Pensit Hash.
Title: Re: Give us your best philosophy joke
Post by: Subtract Eight! on August 30, 2015, 11:49:29 AM
i used to but one time i

than i really did