Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Bring and Brag => Topic started by: AFK on April 06, 2007, 06:42:13 pm

Title: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on April 06, 2007, 06:42:13 pm
Because I can't help myself, and because I don't wish to cause any more consternation.  I will post all puns here with a link to the appropriate thread. 

To begin:

Quote from: Kaou Suu
There are Quakers lobbying for peace in Boston Common! Quick! It's awesome!

The pun:  Shaking it up in Beantown. 

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=12169.0 (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=12169.0)

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: AFK on April 06, 2007, 06:46:49 pm
I wonder what would happen if the Quakers and the Shakers were to meet? 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Triple Zero on April 06, 2007, 06:55:09 pm
quad damage.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Suu on April 06, 2007, 06:55:42 pm
I wonder what would happen if the Quakers and the Shakers were to meet? 

Plate tectonics.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: LMNO on April 06, 2007, 06:58:54 pm
The Humpty Dance.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: AFK on April 06, 2007, 07:03:20 pm
(http://img.consumating.com/photos/19141/large/145993.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Suu on April 06, 2007, 07:04:56 pm
The Humpty Dance.

:mittens:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: LMNO on April 06, 2007, 07:10:51 pm
Ok, now I have this in my head:

(http://www.beavton.k12.or.us/jacob_wismer/fourth/colonies/images/quaker.jpg)
\
"Now stop what you're doing, cuz I'm about to ruin, the image and the style that you're used to."
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Cramulus on April 06, 2007, 07:15:09 pm
I just want you guys to know that THE WRATH OF MSPAINT CABAL (namely me) just spent 10 minutes trying to shop the Quaker Oats guy's face onto Humpty's body. It was a dismal failure.

Professor Cramulus
Defeated
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: LMNO on April 06, 2007, 07:16:45 pm
Just grab it in the biscuits!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: AFK on April 06, 2007, 07:17:07 pm
I think this is a job for Net.  
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Suu on April 06, 2007, 07:19:16 pm
The sad part is...they aren't dressed like Quakers! They're dressed like normal people. And that sucks.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Cramulus on April 06, 2007, 07:22:10 pm
I see they've broken out of the Quaker Black Iron Prison that is big black hats and poofy white hair.

Good for them.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Suu on April 06, 2007, 07:25:20 pm
No! When I want to see Quakers,  I want William Penn and oatmeal, damnit. Not the Boston hoity toity bumfuck public!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on April 06, 2007, 09:21:36 pm
quad damage.

Here's a man who knows who the true quakers are.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Triple Zero on April 11, 2007, 01:07:16 pm
i'm gonna use this place too.

Your computer is going to have a stroke!

a keystroke?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: AFK on April 11, 2007, 01:26:21 pm
and colon cancer
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Suu on April 11, 2007, 04:46:22 pm
:mittens:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: AFK on April 17, 2007, 05:00:12 pm
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=12258.msg385567#new (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=12258.msg385567#new)

Quote
David Bowie's immense package, FTW.

"Under Pressure" indeed. 

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: AFK on April 18, 2007, 04:02:53 pm
Quote
Nope.  Zeus and Achilles.  That was part of the whole excuse for the war, to get Achilles iced.

What a heel. 

from: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=7456.msg386119;boardseen#new (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=7456.msg386119;boardseen#new)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Triple Zero on April 18, 2007, 04:54:18 pm
"a kill ease"

(ok i stole that one)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: AFK on April 20, 2007, 06:09:08 pm
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=12330.0 (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=12330.0)

Quote
Yup
I may have a new job
as, get this, a butcher
 
yup get to play with knifes all day
Theres a 75 % chance Ill get it, the higher ups still gotta approve it
pretty amazing since my pitch was "ok I know nothing about cuting meat.. but I like knifes, I live down the street and Im willing to work Sundays"
 

I'm sure you'll make the cut.

Holy cow! 

Just remember for the first day, Chop, Chop, you don't want to be late.

I'm sure they were happy to meat you. 

I hope the job isn't too much of a grind. 

*phew* anyone have a smoke?

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Malachite on April 20, 2007, 08:22:17 pm
:lulz:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: AFK on April 26, 2007, 08:39:16 pm
Quote
Man Ray condominiums ftl.

Icepick sex: ftw.

from:  http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=12386.15 (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=12386.15)

picks or it never happened. 

eh, it's anticlimatic the second time. 

"Heh, that's what she said"

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on May 04, 2007, 05:53:33 pm
i'm gonna use this place too.

Your computer is going to have a stroke!

a keystroke?

:mittens:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: AFK on May 09, 2007, 05:13:26 pm
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=12520.msg395121#new (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=12520.msg395121#new)

Quote
A dude got arrested for fucking a pavement one time.

I reckon it's all been done tbh

I guess he was tired of his dates walking all over him so he decided to turn the tables. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: AFK on May 23, 2007, 05:04:20 pm
Sign in an electrician's shop: 'We will refuse you.'
Sign in a guitar shop:  All guitars 50% off, no strings attached!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on May 24, 2007, 04:10:22 pm


Hey now, dress + boots can be very hot.

In Kentucky.   :lulz:

Don't step on my Blue-Grass Shoes!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on June 04, 2007, 04:17:37 pm
Defining wisdom is like pulling teeth.
At least, that's what my friend the Dentist says. 

wisdom teeth?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on June 04, 2007, 05:51:10 pm
When you get to the root of it, yes.

RWHN Fun Fact #8:  RWHN never grew wisdom teeth.  Explains a lot doesn't it?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Shit on June 04, 2007, 06:21:21 pm
I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed in a few weeks.  Hope I don't lose all my gnaw-ledge.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Darth Cupcake on June 04, 2007, 06:23:37 pm
I'm sure after a few days you'll be able to find something to chew on.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on June 04, 2007, 06:37:38 pm
You'll just have to cross that bridge when you come to it.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Shit on June 04, 2007, 06:42:47 pm
I'm sure after a few days you'll be able to find something to chew on.
I'll get my fillings one way or another.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Shit on June 04, 2007, 06:43:28 pm
You'll just have to cross that bridge when you come to it.

Just hope I can 'ford it.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on June 04, 2007, 07:02:20 pm
This thread carries the taint of pure evil

Anyone who posts in it is damned!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on June 04, 2007, 07:05:03 pm
Do you have life insurance?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 09, 2007, 06:29:37 pm
Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident and called from the hospital about the four casts.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on July 09, 2007, 07:06:49 pm
every time I see the title of this thread I think it says Pun Hose




and those are excellent

you jerks
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 09, 2007, 07:11:44 pm
No, Pun Hose is something else entirely. 

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 09, 2007, 07:21:32 pm
Ted Kennedy:  The Spirited Debator
Arlen Spector:  A Sharp Pennsylvanian
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 10, 2007, 08:03:13 pm
(http://www.evasolo.com/billeder/products-tea-dele/tea_foto1.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on July 10, 2007, 08:06:23 pm
I don't get it.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Darth Cupcake on July 10, 2007, 08:09:32 pm
...Teabagging? :|
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on July 10, 2007, 08:10:07 pm
Looks like jenkem, actually.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 10, 2007, 08:11:05 pm
(http://www.debbywerthmann.com/images/fork.jpg)

(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/144/336970401_1375c7cd28.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 10, 2007, 08:11:31 pm
(http://www.evasolo.com/billeder/products-tea-dele/tea_foto1.jpg)

tea shirt
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on July 10, 2007, 08:12:11 pm
I like the second one.  Very conceptual.

The first one... the firt Muppets Movie did it better.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 10, 2007, 08:12:59 pm
agreed on both accounts
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 10, 2007, 08:17:41 pm
(http://www.shooter.net/images/uploads/do.not.enter.virgin.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 10, 2007, 08:20:26 pm
(http://images.dpchallenge.com/images_challenge/421/thumb/269040.jpg)

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on July 10, 2007, 08:21:39 pm
(http://www.shooter.net/images/uploads/do.not.enter.virgin.jpg)


Now that is a great pun.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 10, 2007, 08:26:08 pm
I have to say, typing "visual pun" into Google Images didn't open quite the treasure chest I had anticipated. 

Ooh, someone needs to do "Treasure Chest". 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 10, 2007, 09:40:54 pm
(http://www.shooter.net/images/uploads/do.not.enter.virgin.jpg)


Now that is a great pun.

oopsies.  context ruined.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 17, 2007, 03:34:55 pm
There once was a mushroom named Mark
He took his lady for a stroll in the park
She had a twinkle in her eye
And said, "You are a really fungi"
And then they were both eaten by a lark.

limerick pun ftw. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on July 17, 2007, 03:44:03 pm
not a pun, but....




There once was a man from the sticks
who liked to write limericks
but he wrote them too short
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 17, 2007, 03:48:55 pm
There once was a baby seal named Bub
He decided to walk into a club.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on July 17, 2007, 03:54:06 pm
not a pun, but....




There once was a man from the sticks
who liked to write limericks
but he wrote them too short

I lol'ed. Hard.

I feel dirty now.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on July 17, 2007, 04:11:38 pm
there once was a poet who tried for a month
to find a word rhyming with purple
he thought maybe orange,
and possibly silver,
are bad words for a limerick-writer
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 17, 2007, 04:26:56 pm
A clam in my hand.
Can I mussel it open?
Otter be careful.

Haiku Pun

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 17, 2007, 05:53:57 pm
Out on the ocean
She gives a courteous bow.
While gently waving.
A stern creature bumps my boat.
I know, it was on porpoise.

Tanka Pun.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waka_%28poetry%29#Tanka (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waka_%28poetry%29#Tanka)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Iron Sulfide on July 17, 2007, 06:48:30 pm
not a pun, but....




There once was a man from the sticks
who liked to write limericks
but he wrote them too short

not to be a dick, but i am a bit:

"there once was a man from the sticks
who liked to compose limericks
but he failed at the sport,
for wrote them too short"

i should know. i plagerized that one for a poetry class once.
she loved it, and never suspected a thing.

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on July 17, 2007, 07:32:08 pm
These two go together:

There was a girl from Peru,
Whose limericks stopped at line two.





-and-



There was a girl from Verdun.



































Tick.... Tick..... Tick....
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 17, 2007, 07:33:58 pm
wicked smaat   :D
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 15, 2007, 06:26:43 pm
George W. Bush: "I can't see, I can't see, I've got snow in my eye!"
Tony Snow:  "Oops, sorry, I was aiming for your mouth."
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 15, 2007, 06:44:06 pm
Gymnast: I've got a horrible headache.
Friend: Really, why?
Gymanst:  I think I hit the Gym Beam a little too hard last night.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on August 15, 2007, 08:58:18 pm
(http://www.hipgallery.com/photopost2/data/500/toast_girls_feature_feature-large.png)

(repost 'cause on second thought it belonged here anyway)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 15, 2007, 09:16:56 pm
(http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a29/RWHN/ist2_2381624_seal_of_approval.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on August 15, 2007, 10:09:00 pm
psssst....

here's a version of that with the stockphoto watermark mostly WOMP'd out

(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/RHWNSEAL.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: PopeTom on August 16, 2007, 09:32:49 am
Dumb ass 19 year old I took a training class with : So Tom, have you ever tried any extreme sports?

PopeTom: Well I tried sea kyaking once, but I really wasn't Inuit.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on August 16, 2007, 12:30:33 pm
I thought this link would be appropriate here:


http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5176
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 16, 2007, 01:38:15 pm
psssst....

here's a version of that with the stockphoto watermark mostly WOMP'd out

(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/RHWNSEAL.jpg)

swote!  thanks.  I was too lazy to do it myself. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on August 16, 2007, 02:51:57 pm
I thought this link would be appropriate here:


http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5176

ENERGY SPORTS ENERGY SPORTS 400 BABIES SNAKE EYYYYYYYYYYYYES!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on August 16, 2007, 02:53:25 pm
UNCOMFORTABLE AMOUNTS OF ENERGY!






KENYANS!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on August 16, 2007, 02:59:28 pm
UNCOMFORTABLE AMOUNTS OF ENERGY!






KENYANS!

ENERGY!

AHHH!

ENERGY!!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on August 16, 2007, 03:11:03 pm
THIS IS ENERGY FOR MEN!


MENERGY!


THESE AREN'T ORDINARY PUNS, THEY'RE


TURBOPUNS!!!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on August 16, 2007, 04:06:31 pm
This just in!

DJ Joe: Interesting work on Delicious's cube. I'm glad that you got Gaul in there.

Suu: Yeah, I guess it took some Gaul to put all that up. Now excuse me while I empty my bladder.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 16, 2007, 04:11:34 pm



This just in!

DJ Joe: Interesting work on Delicious's cube. I'm glad that you got Gaul in there.

Suu: Yeah, I guess it took some Gaul to put all that up. Now excuse me while I empty my bladder.
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/RHWNSEAL.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on August 17, 2007, 03:17:14 pm
*Office has a small infestation of fruit flies at the moment*

Me: Fucking flies. I go to open my drawer to my tea and theyre there, lined up and ready to dive in. I put some alcohol on the handle and around the edges, hopefully that will help.

Super: Or you'll just have drunk flies.

Me: Eh, I dunno. I used rubbing alcohol, maybe they will actually DIE.

Super: Then again, I don't know if you could tell the difference between a drunk fly and a sober fly. Maybe the drunk ones will actually fly straight...Or they could just be buzzed.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: PopeTom on August 21, 2007, 11:00:54 am
*Office has a small infestation of fruit flies at the moment*

Me: Fucking flies. I go to open my drawer to my tea and theyre there, lined up and ready to dive in. I put some alcohol on the handle and around the edges, hopefully that will help.

Super: Or you'll just have drunk flies.

Me: Eh, I dunno. I used rubbing alcohol, maybe they will actually DIE.

Super: Then again, I don't know if you could tell the difference between a drunk fly and a sober fly. Maybe the drunk ones will actually fly straight...Or they could just be buzzed.

You: It was at that point, your honor, that I shot him.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 22, 2007, 03:52:55 pm
It was fairly obvious what he was up to, when thin Lee veiled a temp. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 22, 2007, 03:58:59 pm
Chad very much enjoyed the Turkey.  When he was Finnish, he was no longer Hungary. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Darth Cupcake on August 22, 2007, 04:03:18 pm
http://threepanelsoul.com/view.php?date=2007-03-06

Special for you, RWHN. :lol:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 24, 2007, 05:53:53 pm
Jimmy went into the Paradise Buffet, where he enjoyed a cheeseburger. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: Payne on August 29, 2007, 03:18:38 pm
I just want you guys to know that THE WRATH OF MSPAINT CABAL (namely me) just spent 10 minutes trying to shop the Quaker Oats guy's face onto Humpty's body. It was a dismal failure.

Professor Cramulus
Defeated

(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/quakerdumpty.png)

It's difficult to do, and it still looks shit.

 :|
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 29, 2007, 03:37:33 pm
Yeah, it just looks like he's a burn victim and the nurse did a horrible job with the face wrap.

But it is amusing nonetheless. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on August 29, 2007, 03:44:37 pm
"Has WOMP finally met its match?!"
    \
(http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/76/05/23360576.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 29, 2007, 05:55:57 pm
Har!  I c wut u did thar!!!! 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on September 06, 2007, 02:30:45 pm
So, I hear the Fat Lady has finale sung for Pavoratti
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on September 10, 2007, 03:09:07 pm
 :argh!:

I came up with this great pun this morning.
It was full of win and lulz.
But then, I had to help a co-worker sign into her computer.
And now, I've forgotten it.

this makes me perturbed. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on September 10, 2007, 03:11:13 pm
am i the only one who keeps thinking that red smiley is doing something vaguely obscene to something invisible?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Darth Cupcake on September 10, 2007, 04:17:44 pm
Nope, I get that feeling too sometimes.

Maybe we're just dirty pervs, though.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on September 10, 2007, 04:19:41 pm
I dunno, I want to be a dirty perv, but that just looks like a desperate gambler in Vegas, hoping for a 7 when he's rolling craps.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on September 10, 2007, 04:24:08 pm
lol u said "crap"

- 000,
good at being a dirty perv
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Darth Cupcake on September 10, 2007, 04:43:40 pm
lol u said "desperate"

-DC
can play that game too, punk!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on September 11, 2007, 05:55:45 pm
Fact:  10210 is the scariest number.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on September 27, 2007, 08:29:50 pm
An A note, C note, and E note all walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says:  Hey!  No minors allowed!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on September 28, 2007, 02:26:59 pm
Then A walked to the back, and became a Major 6.


no, not a pun.  musical geekery.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on October 05, 2007, 01:22:18 am
I've been into the nunsploitation lately(http://a3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/26/l_cb8bd230f327000daa9f8c4048200462.jpg)

(http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/8319/avatar218bg5.jpg)it can be a tough habit to break.

 :rimshot:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 15, 2007, 07:07:03 pm
A couple of cookies are hanging out at a bar.

One says to the other, "Hey check her out.  She's hot.  I'm going to go ask her out."

Just then, the bartender interjects,
"I'd be careful if I were you.  It gets pretty ugly when Ginger snaps."
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 17, 2007, 02:37:14 pm
does this mean we get a Council of Hippo?

It should be located in Hungary. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on October 17, 2007, 02:59:12 pm
Hungary?  Hungary Hippos?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Richter on October 18, 2007, 02:34:18 pm
So a co worker of mine, Kim, is out today, and a fellow in her deptarment announces this loudly.
"So", I says to him, "Young Kim is Ill?"

Lynching was propposed.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on October 18, 2007, 05:52:33 pm
I think I know who that was on the receiving end too.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 18, 2007, 06:29:58 pm
So a co worker of mine, Kim, is out today, and a fellow in her deptarment announces this loudly.
"So", I says to him, "Young Kim is Ill?"

Lynching was propposed.

http://www.myguitarsolo.com/Players/GeorgeLynch.jpg (http://www.myguitarsolo.com/Players/GeorgeLynch.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Richter on October 18, 2007, 06:44:55 pm
So a co worker of mine, Kim, is out today, and a fellow in her deptarment announces this loudly.
"So", I says to him, "Young Kim is Ill?"

Lynching was propposed.

http://www.myguitarsolo.com/Players/GeorgeLynch.jpg (http://www.myguitarsolo.com/Players/GeorgeLynch.jpg)

He certainly looks fretful.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 18, 2007, 07:08:42 pm
So a co worker of mine, Kim, is out today, and a fellow in her deptarment announces this loudly.
"So", I says to him, "Young Kim is Ill?"

Lynching was propposed.

http://www.myguitarsolo.com/Players/GeorgeLynch.jpg (http://www.myguitarsolo.com/Players/GeorgeLynch.jpg)

He certainly looks fretful.

Get back to work son, or they will be Dokken your pay!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on October 18, 2007, 07:20:24 pm
So a co worker of mine, Kim, is out today, and a fellow in her deptarment announces this loudly.
"So", I says to him, "Young Kim is Ill?"

Lynching was propposed.

http://www.myguitarsolo.com/Players/GeorgeLynch.jpg (http://www.myguitarsolo.com/Players/GeorgeLynch.jpg)

 :lulz:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 18, 2007, 07:22:23 pm
He, (George Lynch) should be happy anyone is Googling him, even if it's for a stupid pun. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Richter on October 18, 2007, 09:00:44 pm
So a co worker of mine, Kim, is out today, and a fellow in her deptarment announces this loudly.
"So", I says to him, "Young Kim is Ill?"

Lynching was propposed.

http://www.myguitarsolo.com/Players/GeorgeLynch.jpg (http://www.myguitarsolo.com/Players/GeorgeLynch.jpg)

He certainly looks fretful.

Get back to work son, or they will be Dokken your pay!

Bull, this place is already riffing me off!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 06, 2007, 01:29:21 pm
What do Lance Armstrong and Kid Rock have in common?

They've both eaten Crow. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 06, 2007, 02:20:26 pm
The bird was Raven about how he was going to win the race, afterwards he had to eat Crow. 

The Grape Medium is into Raisin Spectres. 

The number 10210 is too intense.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on November 06, 2007, 02:48:37 pm
You've completely abandonded all pretense of context, haven't you?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 06, 2007, 02:51:07 pm
You've completely abandonded all pretense of context, haven't you?

Actually, I'm just out of it. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on November 06, 2007, 02:51:26 pm
The number 10210 is too intense.

woww nice one

but, just for LMNO i'm gonna keep digging and give him 9102109, which has pre-tens as context.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 06, 2007, 02:53:01 pm
The number 10210 is too intense.

woww nice one

but, just for LMNO i'm gonna keep digging and give him 9102109, which has pre-tens as context.

Being a math/stat geek AND a pun geek can be a very dangerous and frightening combination.

It's amazing I've ever had friends. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on November 06, 2007, 03:11:36 pm
who needs friends, when you can have numbers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendly_numbers)?  :)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 06, 2007, 03:25:29 pm
Sweet, I just formed a cabal with 6 and 28. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Iron Sulfide on November 07, 2007, 01:01:00 am
i was having a discussion about birth control with my wife.
she wants me to have a vasectomy.

"why should i have a surgery, albeit minor, when you can have an IUD just inserted?"

"But those are gross," she said.

"Maybe, but there's a vas differenze between the two."

"Yeah, you're right," she said.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on November 19, 2007, 02:40:17 pm
i was having a discussion about birth control with my wife.
she wants me to have a vasectomy.

"why should i have a surgery, albeit minor, when you can have an IUD just inserted?"

"But those are gross," she said.

"Maybe, but there's a vas differenze between the two."

"Yeah, you're right," she said.


:audible groan:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 19, 2007, 04:01:05 pm
Losing the lemon-eating contest left a sour taste in Johnny's mouth. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 14, 2007, 07:48:12 pm
Why was Frosty the Snowman kicked out of the grocery store?
Because he was picking his nose in the produce section. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Chairman Risus on December 25, 2007, 05:13:04 am
(http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/7658/gmailpunej6.png)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on December 25, 2007, 05:58:32 am
you could really wear out this guy-->  :rimshot: in this thread
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 26, 2007, 12:44:46 am
Mmm, Snow Spam.

One wouldn't expect to like Snow Spam, Yeti would. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on December 27, 2007, 06:35:16 pm
[13:22] Richter: oh shit
[13:22] Richter: you remember this?
[13:22] Richter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCye7v79Tz0
[13:26] Suu: I don't.
[13:26] Suu: But I have to leave a comment about the racist shit on there.
[13:26] Richter: ? in the comments or the music video?
[13:27] Suu: comments.
[13:27] Suu: the song ain't racist.
[13:27] Suu: lol look
[13:27] Richter: this race has an unending supply of foolishness, it's astounding
[13:28] Suu: Turkey is a different culture.
[13:28] Richter: yup, more ottoman
[13:28] Richter: better place to put your feet up
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on December 30, 2007, 08:23:52 pm
can't remember if i ever posted this one before:

(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g213/05136/011f1f92a76ffba268eef13c49352d42.png)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 31, 2007, 02:09:43 pm
Treble brewing ITT

 :lol:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on January 03, 2008, 09:17:27 pm
Ha!  Pun of the Day again.  www.punoftheday.com (http://www.punoftheday.com)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Iron Sulfide on January 07, 2008, 09:32:41 am
i would like to take a moment to shamelessly self promote my music here (http://"myspace.com/theendisqueer").

puns, mondegreens, malapropisms, double entendre, irony and general phono-phernaelia include:

Philly Fillet, and the Love Cuts (The Band)
the task force/thugs/roadies: Fillet Minions
The Hour Long Fillet Show (Album/show?!?)

i do dance dangerously close to racist undertones, which is bound to get me flack, i know, i know-
but it's always in a deceptive way that turns out to venerate instead of defame, which is intended to make
a listener feel modestly ashamed after discovering the "real" lyrics...

such as  "mozl tov cocktails", "planting kikes like ficus trees" (probably the wurst one i have)

that's the fillet, as for the Philly- the sexual innuendo ranges from subtle to stupid.

that page is my no means comprehensive of the work i've done, but whatever. i shat it. root through what you will.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 07, 2008, 04:09:50 pm
I would listen, but the server is down.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Darth Cupcake on January 18, 2008, 07:44:50 pm
My friend IMs me earlier today--

Phil: If a Japanese chick has to do something, does that mean she has an obliGEISHAn?
me: ...
me: you are awful.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Iron Sulfide on February 14, 2008, 10:37:54 am
(http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a149/Festwo/BestTines.jpg)


short and sweet. let's fork.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on February 14, 2008, 02:10:14 pm
My wife is such a card, and she's the Queen of my heart. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on February 15, 2008, 04:18:08 pm
found at EB&G

(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/bin/vegetable-cards-5.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on February 22, 2008, 11:04:59 pm
"You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.”
           -Joey Skaggs
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Mangrove on February 23, 2008, 01:56:24 am
Horticulture?

You can lead a whore to culture...but you can't make her learn anything.


- Groucho Marx
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on March 06, 2008, 08:54:56 pm
Liquor Store advertisement:  "We De-Liver"
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on March 11, 2008, 05:44:46 pm
Hmm, if it were me, I'd go with tattoe.

Now, I would suspect the punee to respond with something like "That was Corny"

If that occurs, NOW THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, you must, I repeat YOU MUST respond with:

"Yeah, so was the toe." 

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on March 13, 2008, 06:45:22 pm
A pun for Mangrove:

The therapist was one massagyonist the woman could feel good about. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Eve on March 24, 2008, 12:14:14 am
A pun from my uncle:

Kraft is opening a new factory in Israel.
They're calling it Cheeses of Nazareth.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on March 24, 2008, 12:26:10 am
will they power their factory with a Kraftwerk?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on March 24, 2008, 01:11:42 pm
"Eat these elbows for they are my elbows,"
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on March 25, 2008, 03:36:20 am
From IRC, with a typo fixed.

[03:28] <@Idem> i dont get the latest RWHN post in the pics thread
[03:28] <&Payne> neither do I
[03:28] <@xooxe> me neither
[03:29] <&Payne> he's prolly been maine-lining again
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on March 25, 2008, 12:37:03 pm
The National Bank of Warsaw is also known as the "Pole Vault".
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on March 25, 2008, 12:44:27 pm
From IRC, with a typo fixed.

[03:28] <@Idem> i dont get the latest RWHN post in the pics thread
[03:28] <&Payne> neither do I
[03:28] <@xooxe> me neither
[03:29] <&Payne> he's prolly been maine-lining again

w00t

also:  Picks - PICS. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on March 25, 2008, 06:55:31 pm
Ah! I was to busy reading what was written on the picks.

And I call them plectrums, or pleccys.

Fuck Scotland.

:(
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on March 25, 2008, 06:57:26 pm
Picks or GTFO!  Yeah, I'm talking to you Knopler!!!!
/
 :argh!:

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on April 08, 2008, 03:16:07 pm
PunOfTheDay has been kind enough to publish another one of my puns.

www.punoftheday.com  Honestly, it's a pretty lame one but I'll take what I can get. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2008, 08:38:34 pm
Sweet JESUS that's awful! Well-done.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on April 11, 2008, 06:44:44 pm
I was playing cards with my buddies when my cat decided to jump on the table and piss on my hand.  That's right, I had Pee-Knuckles. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on April 11, 2008, 07:38:54 pm
 :argh!:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on April 11, 2008, 07:41:41 pm
Oh yeah, thanks to Suu, Richter, and Cram for providing me with the inspiration.  You guys are a bunch of cards. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on April 11, 2008, 07:51:39 pm
Have you gotten the cat spade since this?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on April 11, 2008, 08:14:04 pm
Well, I submitted it to Pun Of The Day, I'm quite sure they won't publish it. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on April 11, 2008, 08:34:40 pm
 :lulz:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on April 16, 2008, 07:20:10 pm
When he saw all of the other tall people working for the company he soon realized that he was just the Tolkien Hobbit. 

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on April 29, 2008, 03:38:28 pm
The entire staph is composed of workaholics, they find their work to be quite infectious. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Chairman Risus on June 10, 2008, 02:21:38 am
(http://icanhascheezburger.wordpress.com/files/2008/06/funny-pictures-oh-grate-kitten.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on July 03, 2008, 05:25:27 pm
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on July 03, 2008, 06:07:08 pm
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

two atoms walking on the street. says one to the other, "I think I lost an electron!", says the other, "Are you sure?", "Yeah, I'm absolutely positive!"

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Jenne on July 03, 2008, 07:11:28 pm
(http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/funny-pictures-hareball-tennis.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on July 03, 2008, 10:51:42 pm
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

two atoms walking on the street. says one to the other, "I think I lost an electron!", says the other, "Are you sure?", "Yeah, I'm absolutely positive!"



*high fives Zippy for bad physics jokes*

Two atoms are talking about their plans for the weekend.
"So what are you up to?" Asks one.
The other replies, "I'm splittin', man. I'm going fission!"
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on July 03, 2008, 11:28:45 pm
Q: why did the dilaton get lost?
A: because it couldnt orient itself

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on July 04, 2008, 12:00:31 am
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

"You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 07, 2008, 05:03:09 pm
Good show guys!  I really enjoyed these. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on July 23, 2008, 02:34:13 am
My sewing machine doesn't seam to like processing silk. I have to worm my way out of a sticky situation here.

I'm also knife-pleating, instead of gathering, because it just looks sharp.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 23, 2008, 05:22:06 am
I hate sewing slippery fabric, I feel your pain.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on July 23, 2008, 08:19:01 am
My sewing machine doesn't seam to like processing silk. I have to worm my way out of a sticky situation here.

I'm also knife-pleating, instead of gathering, because it just looks sharp.

You know, you're really warped.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on July 23, 2008, 02:41:07 pm
My sewing machine doesn't seam to like processing silk. I have to worm my way out of a sticky situation here.

I'm also knife-pleating, instead of gathering, because it just looks sharp.

You know, you're really warped.

The sick thing is, I actually said all of this out loud and didn't realize it was punny until Mr. Suu gave me a look.  :|

I'm working with silk dupioni, Nigel, so it's not that slippery, but it has thicker colored threads in the weft, the warp are thin black threads of fine silk. So it turned out being a bit harder to cut than I thought...being that...you know...silk is stronger than steel...And for those that have ever worked with good silk, you know that the fibers if you yank them apart, still tend to feel a bit sticky. So sticky threads coming out of a worm's ass, steel needle not wanting to make seams...sharp knife-pleats... :x
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 23, 2008, 05:04:15 pm
Mmmmm dupioni! It's my favorite. I just made three skirts out of dupioni; one red, one green, and one olive. I feel your pain, although my skirts were a hell of a lot simpler since they didn't require any pleating.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 23, 2008, 06:43:24 pm
The Muffin Man asked Little Miss Muffet out on a date.
"I know you" she replied. "You're a crumby character.  There's no whey I'd go out with you."
So, he had to tuffet out home alone. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 05, 2008, 05:12:15 pm
I went to my camp on the lake over the weekend.  I had a hard time though, cause I knew I wanted to do something in the water but I couldn't make up my mind.  Did I want to go in a boat, or just get in the water myself? 

All weekend long I was consumed with this debate of Row vs. Wade. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 05, 2008, 09:43:10 pm
Dear me, I'm spreading the pun virus to other message boards now:

http://www.politicalcrossfire.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2931951#2931951 (http://www.politicalcrossfire.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2931951#2931951)

They need a little more practice though. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on August 19, 2008, 05:13:53 pm
Me: ECH posted a link to a really good Reggae album
Eve: Yeah, good stuf.
Me: I need moar reggae. Do you have any reggae mon dations?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 19, 2008, 05:47:19 pm
Jamaican me crazy!!!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on August 27, 2008, 12:03:35 pm
Q: What does a mathematician mermaid wear?

A: An Algae-bra!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on September 08, 2008, 04:14:41 pm
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/violent.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on September 08, 2008, 04:22:20 pm
 :lulz:

Awesome!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on September 08, 2008, 04:29:56 pm
<&Payne> Eve was talking about her viola when I entered chat, and one thing led to another...
<@[000]> yeah
<@[000]> just like in boston
<@[000]> try to make some advertising for a cartoon
<@[000]> then one thing LED to another,
<@[000]> and you got a terrrrist warning panic scare explosion
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Eve on September 08, 2008, 06:30:05 pm
<&Payne> Eve was talking about her viola when I entered chat, and one thing led to another...
<@[000]> yeah
<@[000]> just like in boston
<@[000]> try to make some advertising for a cartoon
<@[000]> then one thing LED to another,
<@[000]> and you got a terrrrist warning panic scare explosion

 :oops: I don't get it.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on September 08, 2008, 07:09:36 pm
Mooninites, I think they were called. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Elder Iptuous on September 09, 2008, 03:57:39 am
Mooninites, I think they were called. 
Yes, Mooninites.
(http://stoneywageslave.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/mooninites8nw.png)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Chairman Risus on September 10, 2008, 11:35:06 pm
18:26   Payne   sometimes, all one needs is base, puerile, humour
18:26      Payne nods sagely
18:27      FredLOOOVE nods basily
18:27   Payne   : facepalm :
18:27   Payne   Fred is RWHN?
18:27   FredLOOOVE    :eek:
18:27   FredLOOOVE   NEVAR
18:28   Payne   YUO PUNNED!
18:28   FredLOOOVE   THAT WASNT A PUN
18:28   Rhesus   TOO LATE
18:28   Payne   IT WAS
18:28   Rhesus   OFUCK
18:28   FredLOOOVE   NO IT WASNT
18:28   Eve   IT WAS TOO
18:29   Rhesus   WAS
18:30   FredLOOOVE   NOPE
18:30   Rhesus   YOU MAKE PUN
18:31   Payne   we could copy this chat and ask RWHN?
18:31   Payne   HE would know!
18:31   FredLOOOVE   >:(
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on September 11, 2008, 08:30:28 pm
I think it might've been a pun. 

I need more thyme to think it over.

In the meantime, Fred, can you draw me a dragon? 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on September 11, 2008, 08:56:45 pm
I think it might've been a pun. 

I need more thyme to think it over.

In the meantime, Fred, can you draw me a dragon? 

 :argh!: NOT A PUN


HOW MUCH U PAYIN FOR DRAGON ?  :argh!:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on September 11, 2008, 10:42:49 pm
I think it might've been a pun. 

I need more thyme to think it over.

In the meantime, Fred, can you draw me a dragon? 

 :argh!: NOT A PUN


HOW MUCH U PAYNE FOR DRAGON ?  :argh!:

Fixt for punnage
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on September 11, 2008, 11:24:54 pm
 :roll:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on September 12, 2008, 02:56:40 pm
The vulture was not allowed to board the plane because he had too much carrion luggage. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Voodoo on September 12, 2008, 04:37:56 pm
Did you hear about the Zen Buddhist who refused Novocain when getting a cavity filled?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on September 12, 2008, 05:40:24 pm
:rimshot:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Iron Sulfide on September 18, 2008, 09:15:15 pm
i got a letter in the mail yesterday, from the publisher's clearing house.

i thought i actually won, but the payment said "post-pwn'd."

then i cried like a little bitch.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on September 18, 2008, 09:16:18 pm
haste
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Eve on September 20, 2008, 06:42:40 am
I heard these on TV tonight, and they made me think of you, RWHN.
"Sake it to me"
"Put a sake in it"
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 01, 2008, 07:21:51 pm
What do you call a balloonist with a runny nose?

A leaky Fossett. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on October 01, 2008, 07:28:45 pm
What do you call a balloonist with a runny nose?

A leaky Fossett. 

Did they ever find him?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 01, 2008, 07:30:12 pm
Heh, actually this pun was inspired by this story on MSNBC:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26976119/ (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26976119/)

Apparently they've found possible "traces" of him.  Whatever that means.   :?

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on October 01, 2008, 07:37:23 pm
 :lulz:

Quote
Hiker Preston Morrow told NBC News affiliate KNBC that he found an identification card with Fossett's name on it and two laminated cards. He also said he found 10 $100 bills, $5 and pieces of clothing. Morrow told KNBC he found the items at an abandoned mine near Minaret Lake, near the town of Mammoth Lakes.

He faked his death and went underground, obviously.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on October 02, 2008, 09:10:18 pm
Quote
[21:03] * JuliaN (.@556C6EF0.B77598CA.5D08A23A.IP) Quit ( Quit: )
[21:03] <&Payne> :(
[21:03] <@Fred> OUR TURK RAN AWAY :(
[21:03] <&Payne> WE LOST THE TURK
[21:03] <@Cram> sad
[21:03] <@Cram> our turkish delight
[21:03] <&Payne> OTTOMAN DOWN
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 02, 2008, 09:22:38 pm
:mittens:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Jenne on October 02, 2008, 09:53:18 pm
:lulz:  :mittens:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on October 03, 2008, 08:43:31 am
Heh, actually this pun was inspired by this story on MSNBC:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26976119/ (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26976119/)

Apparently they've found possible "traces" of him.  Whatever that means.   :?



http://edition.cnn.com/2008/US/10/02/steve.fossett.search/?imw=Y&iref=mpstoryemail
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Jasper on October 03, 2008, 09:07:02 am
Traces like shards of bone, as the article said.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on October 03, 2008, 09:11:50 am
Yeah, when RWHN posted that link, it was just some hiker who'd found some money and a card. The plan hadn't been found then.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 03, 2008, 01:53:56 pm
Yeah but what is most important here is:

Leaky Fossett. 

C'mon, that is comedy gold right there.  Bow down and worship!!!   :argh!:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Voodoo on October 03, 2008, 08:06:55 pm
so he survived the crash only to be drug into a cave and eaten by cannibals?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 03, 2008, 08:17:17 pm
Yeah, their Moms never taught them to never drink from the Fossett.

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: The Dark Monk on October 03, 2008, 08:24:31 pm
Fara?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 03, 2008, 08:33:14 pm
Yes, World Class Adventurer Fara Fawcett.

You win!!!!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: The Dark Monk on October 03, 2008, 08:54:18 pm
She just might be diggin whips Indiana Jones style.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 03, 2008, 09:26:58 pm
You're making my eyes bleed!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: The Dark Monk on October 03, 2008, 11:39:05 pm
Stop encouraging meee!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 03, 2008, 05:34:28 pm
Dear Mr. Theodore S. Ajar, this letter is to inform you that we are letting you go from your post as head of security. 

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on November 06, 2008, 11:03:08 pm
Suu: *reading out loud for work*  "What is Despair...?"

Richter: "Despair...Despair is what you put in dis fruitbasket."

Suu:  :x
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: The Dark Monk on November 07, 2008, 12:30:12 am
ROFL
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 07, 2008, 04:23:57 pm
Suu: *reading out loud for work*  "What is Despair...?"

Richter: "Despair...Despair is what you put in dis fruitbasket."

Suu:  :x

(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/RHWNSEAL.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on November 07, 2008, 04:27:13 pm
You miss my pun in the "Soul" thread in apple talk?

General A Soul/ General Asshole.

I dunno, it was maybe a shitty pun, but I enjoyed crafting it.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 07, 2008, 04:36:46 pm
Crap, I did miss that.  Let me rect-ify that situation immediately. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 07, 2008, 05:25:36 pm
Guy 1: So how did your date go last night?
Guy 2: Not well, she called me a snake.
Guy 1: Really, why?
Guy 2: Probably cause I was looking at other girls instead of adder.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on November 07, 2008, 08:17:00 pm
Guy 1: So how did your date go last night?
Guy 2: Not well, she called me a snake.
Guy 1: Really, why?
Guy 2: Probably cause I was looking at other girls instead of adder.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H91rPIq2mN4
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on November 11, 2008, 03:14:33 pm
Lawyer: "Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?"
Witness: "No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region."
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on November 11, 2008, 08:41:49 pm
From the LOGD game:

Best way to get rid of the coffin is Robitussin.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on November 12, 2008, 11:03:14 am
My dad and step-mom were telling me about some ice cream shop in Maine called Giffords that had won some sort of prize for excellence or something.  I'm not sure on the details because they weren't, either.  They were arguing mildly about the details, but I broke in:  "Hey, I know all the details.  You see, at the beginning of the competition, the head chef guy called in all his little worker bees and gave them all a little speech about excellence and spirit and winning through sheer quality of cream.  Then he wrapped it up by saying, 'Okay, boys, let's win one for the Giffords!'"
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on November 13, 2008, 03:30:37 am
I'm getting sent some alcohol from California. CA BOOZE!

It's going to be a trainwreck...
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Planeswalker on November 13, 2008, 04:07:24 am
Puns are kinda hard for non-natives, but here I go:

My drink seemed to have vanished on a party just a few weeks ago...
Where did my Glasgow?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 13, 2008, 08:35:31 pm
My dad and step-mom were telling me about some ice cream shop in Maine called Giffords that had won some sort of prize for excellence or something.  I'm not sure on the details because they weren't, either.  They were arguing mildly about the details, but I broke in:  "Hey, I know all the details.  You see, at the beginning of the competition, the head chef guy called in all his little worker bees and gave them all a little speech about excellence and spirit and winning through sheer quality of cream.  Then he wrapped it up by saying, 'Okay, boys, let's win one for the Giffords!'"

I've got one of those shops just down the road from me.  They make, as we say in Maine, wicked good ice cream. 

Nice pun as well. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on November 14, 2008, 01:09:56 am
They say prison is where a lot of criminals learn how to commit bigger and better crimes. When a prisoner is released, is it appropriate to offer him my congraduations?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Eve on November 18, 2008, 04:06:07 am
Found:

What's an archeologist?
Someone whose career is in ruins.


:rimshot:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on November 18, 2008, 02:13:09 pm
Found:

What's an archeologist?
Someone whose career is in ruins.


:rimshot:


Yeah.... "Found".

Not made up by you at all.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Eve on November 18, 2008, 02:59:57 pm
Oh god, if it was mine, I would more than say so.

-Eve,
not clever. not even poorly clever. it's a sad story.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on November 18, 2008, 08:55:24 pm
Rome’s obsession with bathing is said to be a factor that helped send the empire down the drain.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 20, 2008, 04:02:40 pm
Hey, so if Monica Lewinsky gets cremated when she dies is that intern-al combustion?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 02, 2008, 03:56:16 pm
Headline at MSNBC.com:

"Ford says it will accelerate electric car plans."
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Mangrove on December 02, 2008, 09:54:49 pm
I heard they edited a really juciy sex scene out of 'Twilight'.....


.....fangs for the mammary.



 :D
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 03, 2008, 11:09:51 am
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/RHWNSEAL.jpg)

and

:potd:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Reginald Ret on December 03, 2008, 02:22:56 pm
They say prison is where a lot of criminals learn how to commit bigger and better crimes. When a prisoner is released, is it appropriate to offer him my congraduations?

I thought prison is where lots of criminals learn how to commit buggery and better crimes.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on December 08, 2008, 05:45:14 pm
http://www.xkcdb.com/?4503

<Deadpool> I made a movie with czechs and acrobats once. The Title?
<Deadpool> czechs and balances.
<AtomicCow> god i love puns!
<Deadpool> czech please!
<Vossy> it's time for me to czech out
<Deadpool> wait I have one more!
<J> another pun? Better czech yourself.
<Deadpool> what time is it when a czechoslovkian leaves a Holiday Inn?
<Vossy> czech out?
<Deadpool> =D
<Deadpool> Someone's heard these before
<Frowardd> what did the cannibal say at the end of his first meal in a restaurant?
<Frowardd> czech please!
<Deadpool> after a 3000 mile trip to eastern europe, what does one do?
<Frowardd> czech in to a hotel?
<Deadpool> czech the oil!!!
<Frowardd> I think I'm in poland
<Frowardd> wait, let me czech the map
<Deadpool> hey, see that villager Frowardd?
<Deadpool> I think they're czeching you out!
<Frowardd> !!!!
<Vossy> finishing a game of chess?
<Frowardd> what do german airplanes throw under the wheels to keep the plane from rolling?
<Vossy> czech mate!
<Deadpool> What does one mark on a european survey?
<Deadpool> a czech box!
<ftr> gah i hate playing bass when my hands are cold
<J> ftr, don't fret...
<AtomicCow> oh my god
<ftr> j: oh for gods sake dont you start
<J> you just need to get a little amped up
<ftr> OPS
<ftr> A LITTLE HELP HERE
<Frowardd> ftr, don't be so high-strung
<ftr> aaaaahhhhhhhhhh
<Vossy> you can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish
<ftr> I KNOW
<creature> ftr: You should be thankful.
<ftr> creature: what for?
<creature> His puns are bad, but his poetry is verse.
<ftr> AAAHHHHHHHHH
<ftr> GOD DAMMIT
<Deadpool> I think we've struck a chord
<J> he's just going to tune us out
<ftr> i swear to god im going to be rocking back and forth in my chair
<Deadpool> rocking one way or the other...
<J> I'm sorry. I'll try to be more chordial from now on.
* ftr goes foetal in the corner and whimpers
<Deadpool> c'mon, we're just trying to touch bass with you
<Vossy> ftr: wake up and face the music
<Frowardd> we're not trying to picka fight
<J> These puns have really changed the tenor of the conversation.
<ftr> seriously, how fucking long can you sad sacks keep this up for
<Frowardd> let's throw it into overdrive
<J> To make puns for this long, you have to b sharp.
<ftr> don't distort the lines
* ftr slaps himself
<Frowardd> you know ftr, it could be worse
<Dark-Fx> I can keep it up as long as I choir to.
<J> Probably only another minuet or two
<Dark-Fx> ftr is being quite percussive
<Deadpool> well, at least we're getting feedback.
<J> Music puns are our forte, it turns out
<Vossy> Ah, but one must be careful not to overplay them
<J> Yeah. We want to stay composed.
<Deadpool> they can get overamped.
<Frowardd> we are conducting ourselves admirably
<Vossy> it's easy to become lost in the music
<Deadpool> We should make sure to be well orchestrated
<J> If only there were some tonic that ftr could take to stop this
<Vossy> Ah, that tonic will not come forth, for it is sub-dominant to our puns :P
<ftr> there is. it goes well with gin. and it makes everything all blurry
<Deadpool> he could take notes.
<Deadpool> or play them
<ftr> oh thank god, ive never been so glad to need to restart my pc in all my life
<J> I guess we harped on it a bit too much
<AtomicCow> I think J is broken
<Deadpool> no no, j is fine.
<J> I'm OK -- this is just a prelude to the real punning.
<Deadpool> he's just getting himself in arrangement
<Dark-Fx> I don't think J thinks at the same tempo as the rest of us.
<J> No, alright, I'm done. These are starting to get a big symphoney.
<AtomicCow> do you black out and just output puns?
<J> You have to admit, though, some of those were suite.
<J> That's not true, you lyre!
<J> OK, I'm really done. Whew.
<Frowardd> that was a good run, fellas
<Frowardd> but you didn't blow up the death star.
<Vossy> finishing with perfect cadence
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 08, 2008, 05:48:49 pm
But, but, I'm Hungary for more!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on December 08, 2008, 05:51:07 pm
That post really gave me the Blues.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 09, 2008, 08:21:35 pm
Unfortunately for the barista, bean constantly late ended up being grounds for dismissal. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Eve on December 09, 2008, 08:37:29 pm
Unfortunately for the barista, bean constantly late ended up being grounds for dismissal. 

:argh!: You know how much I love puns, but RWHN, this is unforgivable! Or maybe it's payback for making you imagine Wade with boobs.


..Twice.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 09, 2008, 09:13:08 pm
Bah!

 :x

Hey, from working at Borders, there must be many stories to tell.  ;)

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Jenne on December 12, 2008, 08:14:33 pm
(http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/112808/snipped-last-week.gif)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Planeswalker on December 15, 2008, 10:27:23 pm
 A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the
 clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud,
 upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman.
 "Screw me or climb the ladder to success," she said.
 
 No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud.
 On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye.
 "Screw me hard or climb the ladder to success," she said.
 "Well," thought the man, "might as well carry on."
 
 On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was
 quite attractive. "Screw me now or climb the ladder to success," she uttered.
 
 As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself
 that this was getting better the further he went. On the next cloud was an
 absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, the lot.
 "Fuck me here and now or climb the ladder to success," she flirted.
 
 Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man,
 he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud,
 there was a 400 pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing,
 flies buzzing around his head.
 
 "Who are you?" the man asked.
 "Hello" said the ugly fat man, "I`m Cess!"
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on December 17, 2008, 03:36:00 am
Me: As I recall, it was the Wampanoag tribe that fed the Pilgrims, and the Narragansett tribe that ate the Pilgrims.

Richter: And then the Narragansetts said, "What corny Pilgrims!"

Me: Let's not talk turkey.

Richter: I don't know, sounds fishy. (I don't remember exactly what he said.)

Me:  :lulz:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Rumckle on December 18, 2008, 04:33:02 am
How do priests spend their money?

Investments!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on December 18, 2008, 07:50:58 am
How do priests spend their money?

Investments!

hahaha oh god heh
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Richter on December 18, 2008, 02:01:17 pm
Me: As I recall, it was the Wampanoag tribe that fed the Pilgrims, and the Narragansett tribe that ate the Pilgrims.

Richter: And then the Narragansetts said, "What corny Pilgrims!"

Me: Let's not talk turkey.

Richter: If they plant correctly, it's kind of fishy.

Me:  :lulz:

Fixt.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Mangrove on December 22, 2008, 04:32:48 pm
Regarding cheese:

While I was at massage school, there was a guy in my class who was a musician. Over lunch one day, we got to talking about being in bands etc. He explained that he had been in a variety of bands. One was called 'the dept of transport' and only did songs about well, transport.

But what really impressed me was that while under the influence of LSD he heard someone say 'Jesus Christ' but misheard and thought he said 'Cheese Is Christ'. Once he came off his trip, he set about writing a whole set of cheese related songs with spiritual themes. The best by far was:

 Man cannot live by provalone
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on December 28, 2008, 07:46:20 pm
*cleaning kitchen*

Richter: It's a strange bamboo...object.

Suu: That's a Dim Sum steamer, it came with our wok, but I have no idea how to use it.

Richter: Well the lighting has to be just right.

Suu: Wha?

Richter: Yeah, the lights have to be slightly lower than usual for them to be dim sum.

Suu:  :x
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Kai on December 29, 2008, 08:30:56 am
 :lulz:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 29, 2008, 02:15:36 pm
You really woked into that one Suu.   :wink:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Iason Ouabache on January 05, 2009, 07:09:02 am
I'll just leave this here.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/49652/the-soup-stage-mom

(NSFW)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on January 05, 2009, 11:11:56 am
The bull dressing in drag was the biggest Miss Steak ever made. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on January 06, 2009, 02:53:09 pm
I figure by the time I'm done sewing all of these pearls onto my costume I'm going to be a bit beady-eyed.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Richter on January 06, 2009, 03:10:29 pm
Watch your posture, it would suck if you got a stitch in your side.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on January 06, 2009, 03:32:15 pm
I think it was Hitler who said:  A stitch in time saves nein. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Richter on January 06, 2009, 03:46:59 pm
Didn't work out for him though.  When he tried to take on Russia they just kept Stalin.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on January 06, 2009, 04:04:45 pm
Yo Adolf, I be keeping you in Czech, bitch!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on January 27, 2009, 01:58:51 pm
John quickly realized his shift at the Casino was going to be hell on earth when he discovered there was a pair o' dice lost. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Rumckle on January 29, 2009, 02:59:44 pm
http://supermarkethq.com/product/roller-coasters
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Rumckle on February 14, 2009, 12:23:11 pm
RWHN, we need you to bring the puns back!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on February 16, 2009, 02:49:41 pm
My mind is full of charts and correlation analysis at the moment.  It's caused a pun shortage.  Although I'm sure my confidence will come back after a 5% interval. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Jasper on February 17, 2009, 01:16:13 am
Get those charts and graphs out of here, STAT!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on February 17, 2009, 07:54:15 pm
So my buddy Ernest and I are going to Three Mile Island on a fission trip. 

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on February 18, 2009, 03:58:24 pm
So my buddy Ernest and I are going to Three Mile Island on a fission trip. 



I take it you split up when you got there?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on February 18, 2009, 04:03:30 pm
Yeah, but we ran out of money because our buddy Rod spent way too much money on fuel for the boat. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Mangrove on February 18, 2009, 09:13:22 pm
Is Rod related to Luke Emia?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on February 18, 2009, 09:33:40 pm
After consulting with Google I can say yes.   :lol:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Mangrove on February 18, 2009, 09:43:48 pm
After consulting with Google I can say yes.   :lol:

 :D
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Iron Sulfide on February 18, 2009, 10:42:22 pm
When is it okay for a Man to use force against a woman?

































It's not. Ever.





















Unless you're Obe Wan Gynobi.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on March 03, 2009, 04:45:05 pm
I dedicate this one to Squid-diddle:

“The predatory prawn shop skinned many an octopus alive and put a lot of suckers on squid roe.”
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on March 03, 2009, 06:16:05 pm
The skiddish feline hung his head in shame as he was mocked with shouts of "Euphraties Cat!"
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on March 07, 2009, 11:38:52 am
Ugh, it was ruined when it was put into one of those motivational poster thingies.  A good pun works on its own, it doesn't need any further elucidation or explanation. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Iron Sulfide on March 09, 2009, 03:35:32 am
RWHN, allow me to offer a low quality intructional example:


Most men have a wandering eye.


Mine's just lazy.

 :rimshot:

(although the right picture can really add a lot to a pun. please observe the word "right.")

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 10, 2009, 06:00:31 am
Ugh, it was ruined when it was put into one of those motivational poster thingies.  A good pun works on its own, it doesn't need any further elucidation or explanation. 

totally agreed.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Jasper on March 10, 2009, 07:42:10 am
Ugh, it was ruined when it was put into one of those motivational poster thingies.  A good pun works on its own, it doesn't need any further elucidation or explanation. 


Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear.

-Thurber
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Jenne on March 19, 2009, 04:52:30 pm
(http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/021609/did-you-hear-my-show.gif)

aw, but the cartoon above is cute...
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on March 21, 2009, 12:51:14 am
Jesse: dinner was stir fry chicken...which in turn was bitchin'
Suu: Wok n Roll!
Jesse: Indeed!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on March 23, 2009, 01:01:26 pm
Why did the alternative rock star ask for an extra bottle of water?
Because he was Thurston Moore. 

wah  wah  wah!!!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on March 23, 2009, 03:40:23 pm
Miss Bartlett asked the plastic surgeon to give her a bigger pear. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Iason Ouabache on March 23, 2009, 10:13:28 pm
http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4284732

U.S. Navy teams fly in to provide medical and dental care to residents of remote Alaskan villages. Some reports say an optometrist was part of the medical team, but Navy dismisses that as an optical Aleutian
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Iron Sulfide on April 05, 2009, 06:40:05 pm
my mother raised me to be, hopefully, a grand church organist. I can't do it, though, because I already have a history of Hymnroids.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: fomenter on April 21, 2009, 05:41:50 pm
http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-246981
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on April 23, 2009, 06:12:33 pm
The porn actress insisted she didn't need any support.  However, it was obvious she was putting up a false front. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on April 23, 2009, 08:20:28 pm
Heh, I just wrote this in a thank you note without even thinking:

"Your Spontaneous Percussion workshop was a big hit with our students." 

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 23, 2009, 09:21:12 pm
So where do you think Obama is going to get the money for Healthcare?

DeMint? 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on August 24, 2009, 02:03:22 am
I decided to call my restaurant Norman's. The catch phrase: We serve some serious Gaul.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on September 29, 2009, 04:40:28 pm
The executioner's favorite periodical is Hangman's News. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on September 29, 2009, 07:24:10 pm
You can get quite the celery being a stalk broker. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on September 29, 2009, 07:26:06 pm
The mother Pigeon was constantly reminding her children not to squabble. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Payne on October 09, 2009, 09:08:46 pm
Even if you killed Superman, something would have to fill the evolutionary Nietzsche.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun Valve
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 09, 2009, 09:10:09 pm
I wonder what would happen if the Quakers and the Shakers were to meet? 

They would have a very calm conversation about whether or not you should have kids.

And then the Shakers would gaffe by bringing up the whole Nixon thing, and the Quakers would fucking their shit with a baseball bat.  Quakers are like that.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 14, 2009, 07:42:26 pm
Where do nerd birds hang out?

Wren Faires. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2009, 07:51:41 pm
When you meet a New Zealander man,
With a permanent tan,
That's a Maori.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on October 14, 2009, 08:03:17 pm
:omg:

TGRR's caught the RWH1N1 virus!

:omg:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 14, 2009, 08:39:16 pm
When you meet a New Zealander man,
With a permanent tan,
That's a Maori.

:potd:

AND

(http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a29/RWHN/RHWNSEAL.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2009, 11:37:00 pm
When King Kong has fallen flat,
Try The Vampire Bat,
That's some more Wray.

O God somebody kill me
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 16, 2009, 05:38:22 pm
What makes you think there is something wrong with the door?

Because it's fucking a jar, dumbass!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Pariah on October 17, 2009, 12:49:54 am
When you find an eel
That will make you its meal
That's a moray
 :x
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 17, 2009, 12:57:05 am
When she thinks you're the Dad
And she's making you mad,
That's Maury!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 17, 2009, 01:38:17 am
This ray gun here tries
to put out both your eyes,
that's a Moe-ray.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: LMNO on October 18, 2009, 12:38:31 am
 :argh!: :lulz: :x :lol: :| :roll: :evilmad: :mrgreen::crankey:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Suu on October 18, 2009, 12:46:06 am
:argh!: :lulz: :x :lol: :| :roll: :evilmad: :mrgreen::crankey:

Yep.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on October 18, 2009, 04:04:56 am
When you find an eel
That will make you its meal
That's a moray
 :x

 :lulz: That's good, I've got another version:

If an eel bites your hand
and you bleed in the sand
that's a moray!

(http://www.underwatertimes.com/news2/moray_eel_big.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 03, 2009, 02:48:39 pm
The rodent died of self-immoleation.

or/also

The chemist died of self-immoleation.

It's like a swiss-army pun. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Rumckle on December 05, 2009, 10:57:19 pm
The Mexican chef died of self-immoleation.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Nast on December 07, 2009, 11:31:32 pm
I found these, written on the grout between the tiles in a library restroom:

"Twist and Grout"
"Grout Expectations"
"In 'n' Grout Burger"
"Groutcho Marx"
"Et Tu, Groute?"

...and many more.

Needless to say, I was delighted.  :lulz:

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Iason Ouabache on December 09, 2009, 04:57:06 am
(http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20091206.gif)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 15, 2009, 02:10:05 pm
The hair-stylist knew if she didn't perform well at her job that there would be dyer consequences. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 15, 2009, 02:10:35 pm
Poets don't have many friends due to their odeious personalities. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Rumckle on December 16, 2009, 05:46:36 am
The hair-stylist knew if she didn't perform well at her job that there would be dyer consequences. 

Heh, that one is certainly a cut above the rest.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 17, 2009, 09:02:17 pm
The Navy sea men were given vas deferens as to what to do with their time when they came onto shore. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on December 17, 2009, 09:07:24 pm
When the blade strikes the guy
from the eye to the thigh,
thats Fiore!

(http://www.fioredeiliberi.org/image/fiore2.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 05, 2010, 06:55:34 am
A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet ya $350 that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way."

The guy says, "Why not?"

And the butcher answers, "The steaks are too high!"
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Jasper on March 10, 2010, 07:36:53 am
I am now an acolyte of Priapus, unofficially.   When I pass out one-liners of wisdom, can I call them priapisms?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on April 05, 2010, 05:49:35 pm
maxman   let us speak philosophy
Cram   I kant!
Burns   you can too
Burns   it's your nietzsche
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on April 14, 2010, 09:51:00 pm
from http://fstop23.posterous.com/

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead racoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

 4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

 5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

 7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

 8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

  9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

  10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Brotep on April 15, 2010, 12:50:32 am
Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize?

He really stood out in his field.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Rumckle on April 21, 2010, 09:55:58 am
From facebook:

Did you hear that the gamma ray that was deflected out of a piece of Graphite is releasing a rap album?
Apparently it's titled "Straight Outta Compton."
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 21, 2010, 06:04:02 pm
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?





Bewbees.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 02, 2010, 02:38:55 pm
Let him Finnish putting on his flotation device or else Helsinki. 

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 02, 2010, 02:40:03 pm
The veteran cartographer really knew how to make his mark on the world. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 02, 2010, 02:42:22 pm
It is unbelievably difficult to stay alert with attention headache. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 02, 2010, 02:44:30 pm
The pirate's favorite chore is yAAARRRRd work. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 02, 2010, 02:48:08 pm
What do you call a fish that has been caught and released many times?

A hole-y mackerel. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 08, 2010, 08:39:35 pm
Trojan is introducing a new line of condoms made from frog skin.  They are ribbit for her pleasure.  



RWHN,
I think I may have gone too far
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: BadBeast on July 08, 2010, 11:07:57 pm
What do you call a blind Stag?

No idea.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Chairman Risus on July 15, 2010, 06:51:20 am
(http://warehousecomic.com/comic/theWAREHOUSE_comic_410.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 15, 2010, 01:35:19 pm
curse you websense!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Elder Iptuous on July 15, 2010, 04:13:58 pm
What do you call a blind Stag?

No idea.

for the sake of print, it should be pointed out that this is a verbal pun relying on stretched pronunciation.
No-eyed deer.
(no idea)

So what do you call a blind stag with no legs?

Still no idea...
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 15, 2010, 04:46:33 pm
The doe was tired of the male deer causing so many problems in her class so she decided to pass the buck. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: BadBeast on July 15, 2010, 05:20:53 pm
The Doe came staggering out of the Forest, half dead, and bandy legged. As she passed, she said
"I'm not doing that again for four Bucks"!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Elder Iptuous on July 15, 2010, 05:51:35 pm
she would if they fawned over her enough....
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: BadBeast on July 15, 2010, 05:56:17 pm
In Hind sight, maybe you're right.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 15, 2010, 06:36:42 pm
buck
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Elder Iptuous on July 15, 2010, 06:39:34 pm
hey don't stop our fun there!
Have a hart!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 16, 2010, 12:08:17 am
You didn't get the pun.

Anyone? 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Elder Iptuous on July 16, 2010, 12:58:03 am
 :oops:

all i could figure was the "buck stops here"
hm... big buck
bold buck
lone buck...
.,,,
nope. i don't get it...
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Freeky on July 16, 2010, 01:58:53 am
You didn't get the pun.

Anyone? 

Big buck(s). I just got that, actually. :lol:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Elder Iptuous on July 16, 2010, 02:35:55 am
is that it RWHN?  why did you make is singular?
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Chairman Risus on July 16, 2010, 04:22:24 am
is that it RWHN?  why did you make is singular?
Because deep down, all punners are (http://www.bouviers.net/dogblog/images/donkeyrescue.jpg)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 16, 2010, 10:52:56 am
You're all still wrong, though Freeky is warm.  Keep hunting.  

This is a quasi-visual pun. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Pæs on July 16, 2010, 12:01:57 pm
buck
Oh, fuck.
20 point buck.

ETA: No, actually. "Oh fuck" doesn't quite express my outrage at your punnery. You get one of these as well.
 :argh!:

Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: rong on July 16, 2010, 12:35:14 pm
beer nuts are a dollar-fifty
deer nuts are under a buck.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on July 16, 2010, 01:12:29 pm
buck
Oh, fuck.
20 point buck.

ETA: No, actually. "Oh fuck" doesn't quite express my outrage at your punnery. You get one of these as well.
 :argh!:

We have a winnar!  Congratulations.  Your Czech is in the mail.  Make sure you keep him well fed. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on August 03, 2010, 09:15:30 am
Because I think RWHN might have missed it, and I'm kind of proud of it:

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=25942.msg906165#msg906165
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Rumckle on August 03, 2010, 12:26:29 pm
Because I think RWHN might have missed it, and I'm kind of proud of it:

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=25942.msg906165#msg906165

 :eek:
That's a .32 pun density!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 03, 2010, 02:04:26 pm
:mittens:  Bravo!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on August 05, 2010, 08:05:32 pm
(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/funny-facebook-steve-irwin.png)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 06, 2010, 03:41:05 pm
That both pleases me and fills me with envy (that I haven't thought of those yet.)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 07, 2010, 05:02:44 pm
The dairy farmer moved to New York City because the thought a curd he would get more culture that whey. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: BabylonHoruv on August 11, 2010, 09:12:19 am
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs140.ash2/40345_150938091588634_118330578182719_504310_3223576_n.jpg)

Stolen from TCC
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 11, 2010, 10:45:31 am
You should give it back.  


RWHN,
pun snob
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on August 17, 2010, 03:47:15 pm
"OMG!  You're out of Orange Schubert?  You gotta be kidding me!!!!"

"Hey man, regain your composer and don't be Haydn!"
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 03, 2010, 05:05:00 pm
Jim broke his nose as he was exiting the Ol' Factory.  
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on October 03, 2010, 05:06:35 pm
As he was making love to the Mall Cop he had a sudden feeling of in-security. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on November 08, 2010, 05:26:34 pm
The wandering minstrel was imprisoned after being found guilty of lute-ing. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 13, 2010, 05:01:18 pm
What did the Cartographer say after he found the map he had lost?

Well, that's a relief. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 13, 2010, 05:06:00 pm
A review for an auto-biography about Mark Foley:

"I couldn't put it down, it was quite the page turner...."
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on December 13, 2010, 05:07:49 pm
Larry Craig's heart bypass surgery was complicated by his wide stents. 
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Telarus on December 13, 2010, 07:42:03 pm
What did the Cartographer say after he found the map he had lost?

Well, that's a relief. 

I have inflicted this pun upon the denizens of TCC, when I brought up the Map/Territory meme.  :lol:
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: AFK on June 27, 2011, 02:23:43 pm
Ba-bump!
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Triple Zero on August 10, 2011, 11:57:06 am
"Hey, wanna trade some of that pasta personara of yours for some of this delicious bean stew I made with bits of man in it?"

"Sure," said the other cannibal.

When the cannibal later found out that the bean stew did in fact not have any bits of human in it, he realized he'd been had by a chili-con-man trick.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on August 18, 2011, 05:01:30 pm
http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/showbiz/2011/08/17/ac.ridiculist.depardieu.cnn

Anderson Cooper cannot keep a straight face while making a bunch of pee puns
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Freeky on August 18, 2011, 05:31:28 pm
http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/showbiz/2011/08/17/ac.ridiculist.depardieu.cnn

Anderson Cooper cannot keep a straight face while making a bunch of pee puns

:lulz: My favorite part was where he couldn't stop laughing.  That was hilarious.
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Cramulus on August 26, 2011, 02:54:53 pm
(http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20110826.gif)



mouseover:
(http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20110826after.gif)
Title: Re: RWHN's Pun House
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 29, 2011, 01:47:40 am
 :lulz: Chemistry jokes never stop being funny.