Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: BADGE OF HONOR on September 18, 2008, 07:04:35 am

Title: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on September 18, 2008, 07:04:35 am
This will hopefully be a regular thing because I like to cook and it forces me to do my dishes.  The format will be: ingredients for all dishes, then instructions on how to cook everything at once cause that's how I roll.




HERE IS A DINNER FOR TWO THAT I COOKED TONIGHT AND ATE ALONE  :cry:

Sauteed apples & onions
1/2 large white onion
1 apple--I used Gala because that's what I had, but any tart variety should work
horseradish
fresh ground nutmeg--I have one of those whole nutmegs/grater deals, the end product is much sharper and more aromatic than pre-ground.  Also great in leek & potato soup, by the way.

I also considered putting in ginger, mustard, turmeric, cinnamon, or curry powder.  Anything warm and spicy would have worked.

Rosemary Pork Chops
2 pork chops
handful of rosemary
handful of garlic cloves

Mashed potatoes
2 potatoes
milk
(not as boring as it looks)

First things first, chop those potatoes up in little chunks and throw em in some boiling water.  Then slice your onion and put it in a skillet with some butter.  Cook to desired degree.  Slice apple, add to skillet.  Throw on desired spices.  Set aside.  Don't overcook or the apple will get mushy!  I learned this because I took too long deciding what to put on them :(
Chop each garlic clove in half or so, heat in a skillet with rosemary and olive oil. 
Remember those potatoes?  They should be boiled half to death now.  Mash the crap out of them!  (note to self: buy a potato masher)
Oh crap that garlic is looking a little brown.  No matter!  Scoop them out and put them in the potatoes.  Yum.
Throw your pork chops into the hot skillet, salt and pepper til they look good.  Cook til pink inside, especially if you're like me and leave the finding of a clean plate til the last minute, the residual heat will finish the job.


Yay food. 
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Payne on September 18, 2008, 10:33:27 am
YES!

Put some dried chives in with your mashed potatoes, makes them look super classy.

Also, I will eat with you.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Richter on September 18, 2008, 01:37:32 pm
Sauteed apples & onions
1/2 large white onion
1 apple--I used Gala because that's what I had, but any tart variety should work
horseradish
fresh ground nutmeg--I have one of those whole nutmegs/grater deals, the end product is much sharper and more aromatic than pre-ground.  Also great in leek & potato soup, by the way.

How much of the Horseradish? 

handful of garlic cloves

You roll correctly!
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: East Coast Hustle on September 18, 2008, 02:13:11 pm
FWIW: Mashed potatoes with no butter in them will be a capital crime when I am king.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Payne on September 18, 2008, 02:17:40 pm
ofuk, I never even noticed the lack of butter  :x

BADGER, HOW COULD YOU?!
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: AFK on September 18, 2008, 02:19:59 pm
Also, Maine potatoes > Idaho potatoes.

We don't have much to brag about so I try to work it in wherever I can.   :D
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on September 18, 2008, 03:53:47 pm
I thought it sounded delicious!

I have done the apple-onion type dish with granny smith apples and red onions (awesome colors) but I 've never added horseradish. 

I like horseradish, just don't do a lot with it....
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Darth Cupcake on September 18, 2008, 04:12:45 pm
Mmmm yes butter in mashed potatoes. And garlic. And happiness.

God I love mashed potatoes.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Suu on September 18, 2008, 09:39:01 pm
I told you the epic awesome of that which is apples and onions.  :fap:
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on September 19, 2008, 01:09:27 am
Sauteed apples & onions
1/2 large white onion
1 apple--I used Gala because that's what I had, but any tart variety should work
horseradish
fresh ground nutmeg--I have one of those whole nutmegs/grater deals, the end product is much sharper and more aromatic than pre-ground.  Also great in leek & potato soup, by the way.

How much of the Horseradish? 

handful of garlic cloves

You roll correctly!

Uhh.  A teaspoon or so?  Measuring is not part of the Just Fucking Wing It method.

I did not have enough garlic :(
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on September 19, 2008, 01:10:50 am
ofuk, I never even noticed the lack of butter  :x

BADGER, HOW COULD YOU?!

I don't know it just seems weird to me.  Butter-lovers can add later but it's not how I roll.



I wish I'd had some rolls :(
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on September 19, 2008, 01:13:26 am
Okay, I just got back from my dad's house.  He has a masive garden and I now have:

-a zucchini
-two small yellow squash like thing
-several banana peppers
-"tabasco" peppers
-hot red peppers
-carrots
-a parsnip
-three small and one large tomato


Thinking...chicken noodle soup perhaps?


Also carrots fresh from the ground is mouth paradise.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: East Coast Hustle on September 19, 2008, 02:15:47 am

I don't know it just seems weird to me.  Butter-lovers can add later but it's not how I roll.


W


T


F


?

Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Suu on September 19, 2008, 02:54:35 am
If it wasn't for butter, I wouldn't exist.

But heck, if she doesn't like butter, she doesn't like it, ECH.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on September 19, 2008, 06:06:15 am
I like butter I do really.  Just not in mashed potatoes...
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Triple Zero on September 19, 2008, 08:07:22 pm
-a zucchini
-two small yellow squash like thing
-several banana peppers
-"tabasco" peppers
-hot red peppers
-carrots
-a parsnip
-three small and one large tomato

make stew.

get some cheap meat with lots o connective tissue (otherwise it gets dry and not smooth enough) and fat (otherwise add butter), cut everything up into medium chunks, add stock, water and/or beer or wine and fill a tea-egg with "those spices that taste good but you dont wanna find in your mouth" like cloves, rosemary, juniper berries etc, and start stewing (like two hours on low-to-.

either leave out the zucchini and tomato, or add them at the very end.

or something.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 20, 2008, 01:29:14 am
I'd chop it all up, throw it in a pot, add water, salt, pepper, basil, oregano, thyme, sage, and rosemary, and stew it for a couple of hours.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 20, 2008, 01:29:41 am
Oh, if you have potatoes, add them.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Triple Zero on September 20, 2008, 01:47:20 am
I'd chop it all up, throw it in a pot, add water, salt, pepper, basil, oregano, thyme, sage, and rosemary, and stew it for a couple of hours.

yeah, something like that :)

also i just saw i only half-finished that post, lol. i'm getting a tendency of writing my posts over the course of several hours, sometimes even days. i wonder if it improves anything..
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Jenne on September 23, 2008, 03:39:57 am
Mmm...sounds delish.  I always do apples, sourkraut(sp?) and polska kielbasa.  Potatoes lyonniase on the side.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 10, 2008, 09:44:32 pm
I finally have food!  Time for a triumphant return.

CHICKEN OF BURNING

Ingredients:
-Rice
-Chicken
-Egg
-Flour
-little red chili peppers
-Banana peppers

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v246/kemspit/pepper.jpg)

Break your egg into a shallow pan or deep plate and squish it with a fork (what is the correct terminology?) so that the yolk and whites are mixed up.  Take some flour and put it into another pan/plate, salt and pepper heavily.  Cut your chicken into tender-sized pieces, dip in egg, dip in flour.  Fry in hot butter!  Yummy! 

Cut up some little red chili peppers, throw on chicken while it's finishing cooking.  I used two and they are firey and burny. 

Make a salad out of banana peppers and tomatoes.  I am not clever about salads so I didn't put anything on it.

Voila!

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v246/kemspit/dinner.jpg)
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 11, 2008, 08:10:16 am
Addendum:  if I had any garlic I would have added in a whole lot, because, well.  Garlic.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: LMNO on October 11, 2008, 07:57:13 pm
The term you're looking for is "beat".

Should be easy for you to remember.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on November 05, 2008, 12:10:39 am
POTATO FRITTERS

Ingredients:
potatoes
egg
salt
fresh lemon

Take a bunch of potatoes.  Peel, cut in thick slices.  Fry in hell of oil until they're lightly brown and cooked all the way through.  Take out, put in bowl.  Mash.  Add egg.  Add salt, because salt and potatoes go together like girls and shoes.  Form into flat, egg-sized patties.  Put back in hot oil and fry until they're brown again.  Pull out, pat dry, and squeeze lemon over.  Trust me, it is good!

Incidental note, fresh lemon juice is great on a lot of things, especially chicken and pasta.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: navkat on November 25, 2008, 12:56:32 pm


(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v246/kemspit/dinner.jpg)


What? No book?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on November 29, 2008, 12:24:25 am
I took that picture before that became the thing to do.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on December 18, 2008, 07:44:45 am
CHRISTMAS CRUNCHIES

(otherwise known as chocolate crack)

These no-bake cookies are an old family recipe that can only be made when the temperature outside is at or below freezing.  Hence the name.

INGREDIENTS:
16 oz Hershey's milk chocolate1
2 oz baking chocolate
a chunk of butter the size of a walnut2
6-8 cups Wheaties
salt if wanted

Melt chocolate and butter.  Add Wheaties.  Dole out into cookie-sized piles.  Put somewhere cold, preferably behind a locked door.

Seriously, considering the crappyness of all the base ingredients, this cookies is is like sex.  BE WARNED!



1 Hersheys sells bars in 7 oz instead of 8 oz now, but it's a flexible recipe and you don't really need high-quality stuff
2Direct quote
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on January 12, 2009, 03:44:44 am
Cuban Chicken (it came from a Cuban cookbook but I can't remember the name of the dish)

a couple pounds of chicken, cut into bite sized chunks
an onion, chopped
2-3 cloves garlic, minced
2 green apples, peeled, cored, chopped
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
1 tablespoon ground coriander*
1/4 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
more cilantro to garnish

Brown chicken in olive oil or butter or something.  Add everything else except garnish, let simmer at least ten minutes.


*I've always preferred fresh-ground coriander because the flavor is a lot richer, but that necessitates dragging out the special dedicated coffee grinder and most people aren't that dedicated

Hubbard Fritters

1.5 cups hubbard squash*, boiled and mashed
1 egg, lightly beaten
1/2 stick butter (I think, I can't remember exactly right now)
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg (see above footnote re coriander)
1.5 cups flour
baking powder (exactly how much is still to be determined, but a couple teaspoons at least)
salt

In preparation, one boils and mashes the squash just like you would with potatoes (except for adding milk).  My dad is an avid squash-grower, so we already had ample supplies in the freezer.  Add the egg, butter (melted if the squash isn't already warm), sugar, and nutmeg, then slowly stir in the flour.  Add salt, it definitely needs salt but it's hard to say how much. 

Heat a deep pan of oil, drop in small spoonfuls of dough.  Actually it doesn't seem to matter how big they are, it's just that when larger they cook slower and can be mushy in the middle.  Fry each side til very crispy brown.


Now, the attraction of this recipe is that it is very versatile.  The fritters themselves are basically neutral in flavor and texture, despite having sugar and nutmeg.  They're both absorbant and hearty, so they're good to pair with juicy/saucy dishes.  You could add onions and make squash latkes, or add more spices and sugar to make desserty things.  You could eat them plain with salsa on top.  Or ice cream.  I will definitely be revisiting these suckers.  The great thing is that even people who don't like squash (i.e. my dad, even though he won't stop growing them) like these things.


*Hubbard squash is an orange, sweet squash and could conceivably be substituted with pumpkin etc.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: LMNO on January 12, 2009, 12:57:09 pm
Wait... Randian Agenda is Badger?


I am SO lost.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 12, 2009, 06:49:44 pm
I fucking love hubbard squash. thanks for the fritter recipe Ayn Badge!
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Jenne on January 12, 2009, 07:24:28 pm
Wait... Randian Agenda is Badger?


I am SO lost.

I just noticed that too.  :lol:

Awesome recipe, Randian!
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on January 13, 2009, 08:19:30 am
I fucking love hubbard squash. thanks for the fritter recipe Ayn Badge!

YOu're welcome.  On review, I think there was about half as much butter as what I said.  Ultimately it prolly doesn't matter, since it's all getting fried anyway./
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on January 19, 2009, 10:55:38 am
UPDATE:  Today I made more hubbard fritters, but this time I added a bunch of baking powder, like 2 teaspoons in a half-recipe.  It was a vast improvement, they were light and fluffy crusty instead of dense and crusty.  Also, more salt.  They turned out much more like pancakes.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on January 26, 2009, 05:04:29 am
Here's a recipe my mom used to make, and is now my specialty.

Leek & Potato Soup (Vichyssoise)
3 medium leeks
1 medium onion
1/4 stick butter
4-5 medium potatoes, sliced very thin
4 cups poultry stock
2 cups cream (I usually go half cream half milk but it really depends on the desired thickness and how the weather is today)
salt
white pepper
fresh-grated nutmeg

Mince leeks and onions, sautee in the bottom of a large pot in the butter for 3-5 minutes, or more realistically the time it takes me to slice the potatoes.  Add potatoes and stock, cover pot and simmer until everything is tender (15-20 minutes).  Puree in blender.  Return to pot, add cream/milk in whatever proportions you want.  While it's warming back up, add spices to taste. 

Best served with crusty french bread and kielbasa.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 28, 2009, 05:48:29 pm
umm....


Vichyssoise is served cold.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Suu on January 28, 2009, 08:35:42 pm
Yeah it is, but she probably doesn't like it that way.

We had it as a soup special at work a few weeks ago and people bitched about it being cold over and over again, and I felt like Alfred from Batman Returns going, "It's Vichyssoise sir, it's SUPPOSED to be cold." like a broken record.

"Your soup is cold."
"It's Vichyssoise, as I said previously before you ordered it."
"What's THAT supposed to mean?"
"It's served cold."
"...WHY?! What's wrong with your chef?!"
*facepalm*
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Raphaella on January 28, 2009, 08:50:55 pm
Heh yeah we only served a chilled soup once in my diner and the guest were all WTF? I think it went over better at our Steak House and the Fine Dining restaurant.

Anyway that looks like a yummy recipe to me, I would eat it hot though. I am just as unsophisticated as my guests... sometimes. 
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 28, 2009, 11:10:12 pm
Yeah it is, but she probably doesn't like it that way.

We had it as a soup special at work a few weeks ago and people bitched about it being cold over and over again, and I felt like Alfred from Batman Returns going, "It's Vichyssoise sir, it's SUPPOSED to be cold." like a broken record.

"Your soup is cold."
"It's Vichyssoise, as I said previously before you ordered it."
"What's THAT supposed to mean?"
"It's served cold."
"...WHY?! What's wrong with your chef?!"
*facepalm*

I hear you. No point in serving stuff like that to a customer base that you (should) know won't get it. I'm guessing the chef was just feeling a little too pretentious that day to call it "potato and leek soup". I have those days too. I put a petit filet with duxelle and sauce espagnole on the special board one night and sold exactly none of them. the next night my tenderloin with brandied mushrooms and brown sauce was a HUGE hit.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Suu on January 28, 2009, 11:27:31 pm
I work at a pretty nice place. We have a fucking Bistro Prix Fixe on Mondays and Tuesdays, and I hate spelling it out to people who don't get it or don't know how to read.

Menu says:

Bistro Prix Fixe: A 2 course bistro menu and your choice of dessert. Special changes daily. $19

Customer says: "Yeah uh, what is this Bistro Pricks Ficks?"

Me: "You mean the Pree fee? Tonight's offerings are *yadda yadda*."

Customer: Well I don't like that, can I substitute a burger?"

Me: "No, it's our special of the evening, I don't think you'd want to pay $19 for a burger."

Customer: "Your burgers are $19?!"

*facepalm*
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Triple Zero on January 28, 2009, 11:38:00 pm
but if you write it on your menu

<Fancy Name> is a delicious COLD soup made from ... ... .. wonderfully refreshing because it's served below room temperature.

but then in a really proper fancy menu writing style. they should get the hints, no?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 28, 2009, 11:51:39 pm
People tend to lose whatever tiny shred of reading comprehension they had the minute they set foot inside a restaurant.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Suu on January 28, 2009, 11:55:44 pm
People tend to lose whatever tiny shred of reading comprehension they had the minute they set foot inside a restaurant.

TROOF.

Another one is our Southwestern Chicken Salad Wrap.

I don't even have to THINK too hard about that one to know that...

A: Southwestern = spicy
B: Chicken Salad is chopped chicken in mayonnaise with other condiments
C: It's a wrap!

THIS IS ALL SAID ON THE MENU

The questions I get are mindnumbing.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Pariah on January 29, 2009, 01:10:38 am
Also, Maine potatoes > Idaho potatoes.

We don't have much to brag about so I try to work it in wherever I can.   :D

Oh and what? Idaho does?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 29, 2009, 01:22:21 am
losing potatoes pretty much leaves Idaho devoid of anything to brag about, with the possible exception of that one golf course just outside of Twin Falls.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on January 30, 2009, 07:56:17 am
Well obviously I was eating leek & potato soup, not vichyssoise.   :lulz:


Anyway, over the weekend I taught myself how to make bread.  I am very happy now.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: LMNO on January 30, 2009, 01:58:39 pm
I love making bread. 
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on January 30, 2009, 10:00:25 pm
I learned a recipe that is much simpler and less intimidating than your regular knead-rise-knead-rise cycle.  And it produces cute little crusty loaves that are exactly what I want out of bread.   :fap:
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Kai on January 31, 2009, 12:08:05 am
Here's a recipe my mom used to make, and is now my specialty.

Leek & Potato Soup (Vichyssoise)
3 medium leeks
1 medium onion
1/4 stick butter
4-5 medium potatoes, sliced very thin
4 cups poultry stock
2 cups cream (I usually go half cream half milk but it really depends on the desired thickness and how the weather is today)
salt
white pepper
fresh-grated nutmeg

Mince leeks and onions, sautee in the bottom of a large pot in the butter for 3-5 minutes, or more realistically the time it takes me to slice the potatoes.  Add potatoes and stock, cover pot and simmer until everything is tender (15-20 minutes).  Puree in blender.  Return to pot, add cream/milk in whatever proportions you want.  While it's warming back up, add spices to taste. 

Best served with crusty french bread and kielbasa.

Making this tonight. I has leeks and potatoes....okay, so its gonna be a MODIFIED recipe. More like my classic potato soup with leeks too
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 31, 2009, 02:56:39 am
I make bread every other Saturday, and I found out that if I make a sponge the night before and let it rise in a cool place overnight, it turns out perfect with very little kneading the next day.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 31, 2009, 02:57:16 am
I love potato soup, with or without leeks.

I like it with ham, but my children, for some reason, do not.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on January 31, 2009, 06:23:31 am
Nigel: this recipe is you make very wet dough, then stick it in the fridge and let it sit overnight.  Then you loaf it with minimal handling and shove it in the oven after a little rising-time.  Very simple.



As far as I'm concerned, leek & potato soup should only be eaten with pork products.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Kai on January 31, 2009, 06:43:22 am
Nigel: this recipe is you make very wet dough, then stick it in the fridge and let it sit overnight.  Then you loaf it with minimal handling and shove it in the oven after a little rising-time.  Very simple.



As far as I'm concerned, leek & potato soup should only be eaten with pork products.

No pr0k in mine. Was awesome, btw.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 31, 2009, 04:32:34 pm
I make bread every other Saturday, and I found out that if I make a sponge the night before and let it rise in a cool place overnight, it turns out perfect with very little kneading the next day.

Nigel: this recipe is you make very wet dough, then stick it in the fridge and let it sit overnight.  Then you loaf it with minimal handling and shove it in the oven after a little rising-time.  Very simple.



As far as I'm concerned, leek & potato soup should only be eaten with pork products.

TITCM

Overnight slow-rising is the way to go. It's easier and produces awesome bread.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 31, 2009, 09:03:13 pm
Nigel: this recipe is you make very wet dough, then stick it in the fridge and let it sit overnight.  Then you loaf it with minimal handling and shove it in the oven after a little rising-time.  Very simple.



As far as I'm concerned, leek & potato soup should only be eaten with pork products.

Yes, yes, the wet dough (sponge) rising overnight in a cool place, that's basically how I make mine! Turns out lovely every time, with a great texture.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: whatc on February 01, 2009, 01:40:19 am
I made oat&wheat rolls last weekend. Thought it was good idea to throw few fistfulls of peanuts in the dough. Result was crunchy and somewhat weird tasting but worked very well with liver sausage.

Also made a basic meat soup from beef,potatoes,carrots,onions and too much pepper.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 01, 2009, 07:53:02 pm
The soup and sausage sound great, rolls with peanuts sounds :vom: though.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on February 01, 2009, 10:58:26 pm
Tomorrow I'm going to use the last of my dough to make pizza.  It will be a grand experiment!
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on February 03, 2009, 11:41:45 pm
Someone tell me what to do with several gallons of hubbard squash.  My dad has like five...  :kingmeh:
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Richter on February 04, 2009, 01:26:46 am
Squash it: (I had to.)  Steam / microwave in a dish w/ water.  Mash and add honey, nutmeg, cinnamon, etc.  Obvious idea, shoot me later.

Squash soup:  same rules as pumpkin soup apply.

Squash pie:  Same idea as pumpkin pie, or pumpkin chiffon pie.  Either way, add Drambuie, it makes ANY gourd based pie BETTER.

Also, if these are the crazy huge variety of squash I think they are, have FUN opening them.  Use the most ridiculously large physics applicator you have.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 04, 2009, 01:27:41 am
Soup? Pie? Both?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on February 04, 2009, 01:29:25 am
I substituted hubbard for pumpkin bread and it didn't taste the same at all, so I'm wary of making things like pumpkin pie that depend on the taste.  :\
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on February 04, 2009, 01:31:03 am
Squash it: (I had to.)  Steam / microwave in a dish w/ water.  Mash and add honey, nutmeg, cinnamon, etc.  Obvious idea, shoot me later.

Squash soup:  same rules as pumpkin soup apply.

Squash pie:  Same idea as pumpkin pie, or pumpkin chiffon pie.  Either way, add Drambuie, it makes ANY gourd based pie BETTER.

Also, if these are the crazy huge variety of squash I think they are, have FUN opening them.  Use the most ridiculously large physics applicator you have.

Well, he started out with seven, one was boiled/mashed and still mostly languishing in our fridges, one was given away, and five are lurking in his basement.  The really sad thing is neither of us actually likes the taste of squash that much.  So...
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Richter on February 04, 2009, 01:47:27 am
It's a good occasional dish, but I can see it getting old.  It DOES freeze acceptably.

"Donate" one to a garden you don't like, highway median, golf course, etc.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on February 04, 2009, 01:48:33 am
I should give one to my boss.  She's vegan, she's obligated to like/know what to do with it.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on February 07, 2009, 08:28:32 pm
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v246/kemspit/squashbeef.jpg)

Hubbard fritters, carrots, Yard-O-Beef. 
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on February 14, 2009, 12:22:41 am
Lemon chicken

(though I think I already posted on lemon chicken recipe?  I dunno.)

Ingredients
chicken
flour
salt
pepper
lemon juice
dried parsley flakes

Cut chicken into strips.  Season flour with salt, pepper, coat chicken.  Cook in olive oil.  When it's almost done, pour on lemon juice and parsley.  Turn pieces over, add more parsley.  It has to be dried, because it absorbs the lemon juice and tastes amazing!
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on February 16, 2009, 03:58:13 am
Toasted Avocado Things

2 avocados
1/3 red onion, sliced very thin
1-2 crushed garlic cloves
worcersteshire sauce
1 Tb fresh parsley, chopped
tomato
mozzarella

Saute the onion and garlic olive oil for like five minutes, til the onion is soft but not brown.  Splash on the worcestershire sauce. 
Cut the avocados lengthwise, remove pits.  In the pit hollows, place the parsley, onion, and a slice of tomato.  Top with thin slices of mozzarella.  Broil until the cheese is brown (2 minutes tops).  Eat immediately.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on February 16, 2009, 04:03:08 am
I also made a squash-tomato gougere but, I don't know, the dough turned out really runny and it was not completely successful so I'm not posting the recipe til I get it right.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on February 17, 2009, 09:42:05 am
Something I just remembered having like three years ago

plums
brown sugar
brandy
sour cream
vanilla
more brown sugar

Cut plums in half, dump pits.  Place in baking dish.  Fill hollows with brown sugar.  Drizzle with brandy.  Bake.  Serve with sour cream sweetened with brown sugar and vanilla.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on February 23, 2009, 09:03:13 am
Dad's Granola

Writing this down so I don't forget it again.

10 cups rolled oats
~1/4 cup sesame seeds
1.5 cups soy flour
1.5 cups dehydrated milk
2 cups molasses/honey
2 cups vegetable oil
1/2 cup almonds
raisins

Mix all that shit together (except raisins), bake 40 minutes at 350.  Give her a good stir, add raisins.  Eat with yogurt for the fucking heartiest breakfast on the planet.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 28, 2009, 09:54:47 pm
I JUST MADE FRENCH TOAST WITH HOUR-OLD HOME MADE BREAD AND IT WAS THE FUCKING AWESOMEST FRENCH TOAST EVER MADE SO FUCK ALL YOU HATERS I ROCK HARDCORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: LMNO on March 30, 2009, 12:38:09 pm
Did Badge and Fred just have a mind-meld?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Richter on March 30, 2009, 06:03:33 pm
Dad's Granola

Writing this down so I don't forget it again.

10 cups rolled oats
~1/4 cup sesame seeds
1.5 cups soy flour
1.5 cups dehydrated milk
2 cups molasses/honey
2 cups vegetable oil
1/2 cup almonds
raisins

Mix all that shit together (except raisins), bake 40 minutes at 350.  Give her a good stir, add raisins.  Eat with yogurt for the fucking heartiest breakfast on the planet.

This sound Damn tasty.  I'm trying it for this weekend's outings.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Jasper on March 30, 2009, 06:15:58 pm
I JUST MADE FRENCH TOAST WITH HOUR-OLD HOME MADE BREAD AND IT WAS THE FUCKING AWESOMEST FRENCH TOAST EVER MADE SO FUCK ALL YOU HATERS I ROCK HARDCORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE

:popcorn::hi5::lulz:
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 30, 2009, 09:59:48 pm
Oh sure now you all reply.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on April 06, 2009, 02:57:50 am
Awesome sauce

1 cup beef stock
juice of 1 lemon
3-4 fresh fennel fronds
1 clove garlic, crushed
1/4 stick butter
flour to thicken (~1/4 cup)
heavy cream

Heat the beef stock and lemon juice.  Add chopped fennel and garlic.  Mash butter and flour into a paste and stir into sauce.  Simmer until it's somewhat reduced, but still liquid.  When ready, add cream.  Works very well with pork.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on April 09, 2009, 08:56:45 am
Awesome sauce

1 cup beef stock
juice of 1 lemon
3-4 fresh fennel fronds
1 clove garlic, crushed
1/4 stick butter
flour to thicken (~1/4 cup)
heavy cream

Heat the beef stock and lemon juice.  Add chopped fennel and garlic.  Mash butter and flour into a paste and stir into sauce.  Simmer until it's somewhat reduced, but still liquid.  When ready, add cream.  Works very well with pork.


Fuck this is some seriously good shit.  need to get some fennel growing in the back yard...
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on June 30, 2009, 07:38:02 am
LARGE CHUNKS OF DEAD COW

TAKE A CAST IRON SKILLET, HEAT THE FUCK OUT OF IT.  RUB DEAD COW WITH OLIVE OIL, SALT, PEPPER.  SEAR THE FUCK OUT OF IT 30 SECONDS A SIDE.  THROW IN HOT AS FUCK OVEN FOR 2-3 MINUTES A SIDE.  EAT.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Thurnez Isa on June 30, 2009, 07:39:55 am
 :lulz:

Im convinced

Badge needs a cooking show NOW
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Richter on July 02, 2009, 01:14:21 pm
Some guy did the same on PBS once.  If capslock is internet manifestation of animated presentation, then I'd rather watch the Badge method.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on July 02, 2009, 06:09:07 pm
A good companion dish is making a pouch out of aluminum foil, throwing in various cut up root vegetables (potatoes, carrots, beets) with salt, pepper, and olive oil, and sticking it in the oven ~350 for like 30-40 minutes.  Then it won't take as long for your oven to get up to speed (hot as fuck = 450).
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on July 05, 2009, 11:13:48 pm
Danske Lagkage

1/3 cup butter
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup milk
2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
pinch salt

1/2 pint whipping cream
1 cup or so red currants or other berries

Cream butter, sugar.  Add eggs, vanilla, milk.  Sift flour, baking powder, salt and add to liquids.  Pour in 3 9" pans, cook at ~350 for ~10 minutes.  Whip cream while waiting for cakes to cool.  Stack cakes in layers, with whipped cream and berries as filling.  Pile the rest on top.

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v246/kemspit/cake.jpg)
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: bds on July 05, 2009, 11:16:29 pm
Holy crap that looks yummy! :mittens:
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on July 27, 2009, 10:26:53 pm
Ghetto Peanut Sauce

garlic
fresh ginger
peanut butter
soy sauce
lemon/lime juice
sriracha
brown sugar

Mince garlic and ginger.  Saute in oil until brown.  Add a couple sloshes/glops of all the rest of the ingredients until it tastes right.  Add water if necessary.  Pour over something interesting.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Sepia on August 06, 2009, 12:09:57 am
why would you throw it into a hot as fuck oven?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on August 06, 2009, 04:53:34 pm
why would you throw it into a hot as fuck oven?

Some people (not me) prefer it to not be cold in the middle.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on February 20, 2010, 10:04:06 am
Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 120 days.
Unless you're sure you want to reply, please consider starting a new topic.



Holy fuck I missed this thread.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: -Kel- on March 01, 2010, 10:38:44 pm
Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 120 days.
Unless you're sure you want to reply, please consider starting a new topic.



Holy fuck I missed this thread.

Get back on it, your neighbors are starving!!
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 07, 2010, 06:25:10 am
THE BEST FUCKING POTATOES EVER MADE GOD BLESS THE GERMANS

3 potatoes
2 onions, chopped
bacon (idk how much)
1 pkg sauerkraut
1/2 cup or so dry white wine
sugar
pepper

Cut your bacon into little bits, fry them til they're crispy and delicious.  Set aside.  Fry your onions in the bacon grease.  Drain your sauerkraut, cook in wine for like ten minutes or something.  Add a little sugar, a little pepper.  Peel and chop potatoes into 1 inch or so chunks, boil them til they're mashable, mash.  Add everything else.  Try to pretend that this dish doesn't far outstrip everything else you made for dinner.  Shamelessly go for seconds cause fuck it this is awesome.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Triple Zero on March 07, 2010, 12:51:09 pm
Yes. This is the correct Sauerkrautmotorrad.

Some people like to add raisins (soaked in that wine) instead of sugar. Also, not very authentic-traditional, but very good regardless is tiny pineapple chunks. Not too much of either though.

Another variation is to mix some whole caraway seeds into the mash.


Btw in another thread I read somebody mentioned potatoes and vinegar as some kind of traditional German dish? I asked my gf and she never heard of it, now Germany is pretty big so that's entirely possible, which region of Germany would that come from?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 07, 2010, 05:07:59 pm
I have no idea, I just got that recipe from something called "The New German Cuisine".  But potatoes go with everything, so why not vinegar?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Triple Zero on March 07, 2010, 05:09:41 pm
But potatoes go with everything, so why not vinegar?

without anchovy-chocolate dressing?? I don't think so!
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 07, 2010, 05:41:42 pm
Anchovy-chocolate?  That's just wrong.  WRONG.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Triple Zero on March 07, 2010, 06:02:58 pm
Not with a few good squirts of miracle-whip it isn't.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 13, 2010, 10:31:15 pm
BEEF JERKY!

Get a cheap cut of whatever beef, top round is all right.  Try to find something not too fatty.  Stick in the freezer for half an hour or so, then cut it in as thin strips as possible.  Drop in the marinade of your choice (I did half worcestershire, half soy sauce, plus some cracked black pepper and sriracha and probably some other stuff that I can't remember), let marinate for like minimum 4 hours.  I let mine go overnight.  When you're ready, dry off the meat as much as possible with paper towels and spread it out on racks.  Set your oven as low as possible and leave the door open, let it go for a couple hours until your meat is dehydrated.   Yum.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 13, 2010, 10:43:38 pm
Not with a few good squirts of miracle-whip it isn't.

:vom:
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Triple Zero on March 14, 2010, 12:09:34 am
Or a half-half mixture of miracle whip and toothpaste, if you want a low-fat variety.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 16, 2010, 07:14:56 am
MOTHERFUCKING RUM SEXUAL CHOCOLATE MOUSSE

This is a great recipe for impressing the pants off people you want to have sex with.

2-4 Tb rum (a little goes a long way, flavor-wise)
1/4 cup sugar
4oz or so chocolate (semisweet is best)
2-3 Tb whipping cream
2 egg whites
2 cups whipped cream (roughly, 1 cup unwhipped cream)

Make a syrup out of the rum and sugar by combining them in a pan over as low heat as you can manage while still melting the sugar.  Melt chocolate however way you want, though I prefer a double boiler.  Add 2-3 Tb whipping cream to chocolate, then the rum syrup, set aside to cool (do not chill).  Beat egg whites stiffly, fold* into chocolate.  Whip cream, fold in.  Portion out into fancy cups, keep refrigerated for seduction purposes. 



*if you're retarded and don't know how to fold look it up on youtube cause it's important
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 16, 2010, 07:19:11 am
Foods with only four ingredients are kinda nice. 
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Jasper on March 16, 2010, 09:42:37 pm
Like

Salmon
Butter
Lemon
Pepper

?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 17, 2010, 04:02:47 am
yeah except for fish is :vom:
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Jasper on March 17, 2010, 05:11:44 am
Psh. :roll:
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: trippinprincezz13 on March 18, 2010, 03:02:57 pm
BEEF JERKY!

Get a cheap cut of whatever beef, top round is all right.  Try to find something not too fatty.  Stick in the freezer for half an hour or so, then cut it in as thin strips as possible.  Drop in the marinade of your choice (I did half worcestershire, half soy sauce, plus some cracked black pepper and sriracha and probably some other stuff that I can't remember), let marinate for like minimum 4 hours.  I let mine go overnight.  When you're ready, dry off the meat as much as possible with paper towels and spread it out on racks.  Set your oven as low as possible and leave the door open, let it go for a couple hours until your meat is dehydrated.   Yum.

Out of curiosity, dumb question maybe, but how much energy does it use to leave the oven on that long, even at a low temp. We had a cheap dehydrator that worked fine, but all the shitty ass racks broke. So we've been doing the oven method, but don't pay for heat or electric, so don't really care. But it would be good to know. Unless you're in the same boat and don't pay for gas/electric.

Also, we had just made a bunch of jerky before heading to SLC and had shredded a good amount to bring out to his dad. Manchester security pulled us over because apparently it looked like weed (even tho, what looks like delicious jerky, looks like some pretty awful). After patting us down and swabbing everything in my bag, damn jerky set off the alarm for explosives. I know, nitrates, etc....even though the seasoning we used was supposed to be nitrate free. Threw it all out. What a waste of good jerky :(
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 18, 2010, 07:14:37 pm
I have no idea how much energy it uses, and to be honest I don't really care.  It's definitely cheaper than buying jerky from the store, though, since you're not paying for packaging/shipping/labor/markup.

Edit: cheaper in terms of energy cost.  Making plastic is a hell of a lot more costly than leaving your oven on the lowest setting for two hours.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 26, 2010, 06:27:58 am
I have a whole mess of chicken thighs that I want to cook all at once, preferably in the oven.  Any thoughts?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: LMNO on March 26, 2010, 12:30:11 pm
Dip in egg, roll in seasoned breadcrumbs (garlic powder, dried herbs, salt/pepper), sprinkle parmesan cheese on top.

Put thighs on a baking rack (so they don't end up swimming in their own rendered fat), and bake at 350 for about 30 minutes, or until internal temp is 165.  Remove, and rest.  Residual heat will continue cooking so it remains tender as it rests.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 26, 2010, 08:06:35 pm
Hmm.  Would gruyere work instead?  I don't want to have to go to the store.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: LMNO on March 26, 2010, 08:25:30 pm
That would be pretty different. The Parm isn't for melting, really. But a small sliver of gruyere might work. You might want to wait until about 15 minutes prior to it being done before adding it, lest it melt TOO much, and slide right off.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 26, 2010, 08:30:00 pm
A small amount of gruyere crisps up like magic and tastes like the best thing ever.

OH FUCK I just realized they're still in my freezer >.< maybe tomorrow then.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 26, 2010, 09:05:35 pm
I just made some sort of bastard frittata/quiche type thing, no crust since I didn't have the means for that.  I guess we'll see how it turns out!   :x
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 26, 2010, 09:31:01 pm
Worked pretty well.  Next time I will add some green onion.

Egg thing

8 eggs
1 cup heavy cream
?? cheese
salt
pepper
mustard
pork product
green onion

Mix everything up.  Throw in a deep pie dish thing, oven @350 for about 20 minutes.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Triple Zero on March 26, 2010, 10:16:34 pm
OH FUCK I just realized they're still in my freezer >.< maybe tomorrow then.

I usually defrost stuff by putting it in freezer bags and then in a bowl of hot water. Usually defrosted within half an hour.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Suu on March 27, 2010, 03:22:11 am
Weird fact: You don't want to use hot water when you defrost things because it can partially cook them. Room temp water or even cold water out of the tap is still warmer than the freezer, so it's a more gentle defrost and can still get it done relatively quickly.

I learned this working a few years back when I went to turn the hot water on when I noticed cold water running over defrosting meats. The chef nearly off'd me on the spot.

Dunno about veggies or cheese though... I would just be afraid that too much warmth would eventually melt the cheese.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 27, 2010, 04:42:18 am
Yeaaahhh my sink is full of dishes so it's the refrigerator for a gentle defrost overnight.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Triple Zero on March 27, 2010, 11:14:01 am
Weird fact: You don't want to use hot water when you defrost things because it can partially cook them. Room temp water or even cold water out of the tap is still warmer than the freezer, so it's a more gentle defrost and can still get it done relatively quickly.

Oh, I know. I only use hot water when I don't mind if it gets partially cooked. Which is usuallly not a problem because you want the entire piece of meat at 60 C anyway and only sear the outside, right? And since hot tap water is usually 70-75 C, and cools really really quickly when you put a frozen piece of meat in it, it seems like no problem.

Still the temperature gradient determines the speed at which heat is transferred, so using hot water does defrost the meat quicker.

Though come to think of it, maybe the meat will lose liquids or become brittle if you bring it up to 60 degrees on the outside while defrosting.

I used to use cold water because of the reason you say, but then I thought of the reasoning I just wrote nad started using hot water again for speed .. now I will start trying cold water again and see if it makes difference in quality.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Suu on March 27, 2010, 01:34:39 pm
Science experiment!
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 27, 2010, 04:48:50 pm
The reason for using cold water is food safety.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 27, 2010, 05:51:56 pm
Yes; using hot or warm water means that the outer layers of raw meat are sitting at delicious bacteria-incubating temperature while waiting for the core to thaw. If it's a small piece of meat and it only takes half an hour to thaw that's not really a big deal, but some virulent strains of e. coli reproduce extremely fast. If it's a big piece and takes an hour or two, bacteria will have a great chance to have a reproduction-fest on the meat's surface layers.

That's also how e.coli and salmonella are propagated on fresh produce, BTW: growers and brokers who don't keep their produce properly refrigerated, because they assume that unlike meat, fruits and vegetables are not a common conveyor of foodborne illness.

It's recommended that your meat be defrosted under a trickle of cold running water. In Oregon food service, meat may be defrosted outside of the cooler only if it is under cold running water.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Triple Zero on March 27, 2010, 06:39:24 pm
Hm. Well usually I only use small pieces of meat that thaw in half an hour, yeah.

Also, since these bacteria are only on the surface of the meat, won't they all get killed when I sear it anyway?

And cold running water sounds like a plan, but wrapped in plastic, I assume?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on March 27, 2010, 06:41:44 pm
The bacteria don't make you sick, it's the toxins they produce, so cooking will only help if your meat has been stored properly.  If it's been contaminated and left out in warm conditions, you will get sick.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 27, 2010, 06:47:29 pm
Hm. Well usually I only use small pieces of meat that thaw in half an hour, yeah.

Also, since these bacteria are only on the surface of the meat, won't they all get killed when I sear it anyway?

And cold running water sounds like a plan, but wrapped in plastic, I assume?

Yes, wrapped in plastic, and also what Badge said about the toxins.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Suu on March 27, 2010, 07:08:49 pm
Yes to all of the above.  I forgot to mention the bacteria part.

Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on May 03, 2010, 02:35:32 am
THAI BASIL CHICKEN

2 Tb oil
2-3 dried cayenne peppers, soaked*
1-2 cloves garlic, minced

10 oz chicken breast, chopped into stir-fry size
a grind of white pepper
3 serranos, quartered
2 Tb oyster sauce
pinch of sugar

1 cup thai basil
handful of bean sprouts (optional)

Get your wok, heat on high heat.  Add oil, let it heat up.  Throw in cayenne and garlic, stir-fry until the garlic is lightly browned (if your wok is at proper temperature this will take like 30 seconds or less).  Add everything else except the basil/sprouts--mise en place is extremely important for this, because by the time you've managed to glop out 2 Tb worth of oyster sauce all the stuff in the hot spot has gotten burned.  So measure out everything beforehand!  Stir like mad until the chicken is done (2-3 minutes).  Add delicate stuff, stir until it's just incorporated (10 seconds max), pull off heat and serve immediately.  Nom.  (Don't eat the dried peppers though)


*I always have a debate over whether A) soaking does anything and B) the peppers actually add any flavor.  But if I have them, why not use?  Can't hurt.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Jasper on May 03, 2010, 02:58:15 am
You might have better results with fresh peppers, or better yet, habaneros.  :evil:
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on May 03, 2010, 03:34:22 am
3 serranos, quartered
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Jasper on May 03, 2010, 03:44:17 am
I noticed.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on May 03, 2010, 03:49:31 am
So why did you suggest I use fresh hot peppers when you already knew I used fresh hot peppers?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Jasper on May 03, 2010, 03:57:26 am
I'm talking about the dried reds. 

Mostly I just wanted to mention making thai food with habaneros.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on May 03, 2010, 04:16:03 am
Habaneros in this kind of dish are really unnecessary.  Eating a quarter of a serrano with seeds still clinging to it is perfectly sinus-clearing without going overboard on the pain factor.  But hey, if you're the kind of asshole who likes to ruin food in order to make people cry, be my guest.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Jasper on May 03, 2010, 04:18:11 am
It's more for me.  I like spicy food.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: N E T on May 03, 2010, 04:25:02 am
It's more for me.  I like spicy food.

You're a terrible fucking person!

Also, you have to go to Pok Pok on Division and get something with a spicy option.

I need to calibrate your capsaicin receptor density, for science.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Jasper on May 03, 2010, 04:28:20 am
Okay, sounds like fun!  What can you recommend?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: N E T on May 03, 2010, 04:32:36 am
Anything on the menu! It's all uniformly good. I haven't had anything there that was mediocre.

That said, their papaya salad is spicy as hell and delicious. Also, Ike's Famous Chicken Wings (spicy of course), and I'm convinced their Pok Pok Bloody Mary has highly addictive drugs in it.

It is somewhat moderately expensive, however entirely worth it.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Jasper on May 03, 2010, 04:34:42 am
Alright, I'm totally going there tomorrow.  :D
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: LMNO on May 03, 2010, 03:21:06 pm
*I always have a debate over whether A) soaking does anything and B) the peppers actually add any flavor.  But if I have them, why not use?  Can't hurt.

For the recipe you're using, the best reason I can think to soak them is that if you threw dried peppers into an extremely hot wok, they may begin to smoke, releasing the burning hot oils into the air, creating a lovely ambience of mace.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on May 03, 2010, 03:45:12 pm
*I always have a debate over whether A) soaking does anything and B) the peppers actually add any flavor.  But if I have them, why not use?  Can't hurt.

For the recipe you're using, the best reason I can think to soak them is that if you threw dried peppers into an extremely hot wok, they may begin to smoke, releasing the burning hot oils into the air, creating a lovely ambience of mace.

Yes this, I tried a recipe once that you were supposed to "toast" dried peppers.  Never said I was the sharpest tool.  Almost killed me and the kids. (not literally)  Kitchen made your eyes water for a couple of days..  It was really bad.

This recipe sounds really good.  We love spicy food!

I'm wondering, since I don't have tai basil in my window garden, if I could use regular basil with a bit of fennel?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: LMNO on May 03, 2010, 03:53:18 pm
Oh yeah, I forgot to add: Badge, that recipe sounds fantastic.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on May 03, 2010, 07:49:36 pm
It is incredibly delicious and takes about fifteen minutes start to finish!  I'm just sad that I don't have very many leftovers.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on May 10, 2010, 04:51:54 am
I AM MAKING POP TARTS.  HONEST TO GO POP TARTS.  AND I'M DOING IT RATHER BADLY.  WILL REPORT BACK IN AN HOUR WITH RESULTS, UNLESS I MANAGE TO POISON MYSELF TO DEATH, IN WHICH CASE SO LONG FUCKERS.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on May 10, 2010, 05:50:37 am
Trip report:  not bad!  They're hell of ugly but tasty.  And I inadvertently taught myself how to make pie crust at the same time.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on June 14, 2010, 02:51:36 am
THE BEST FUCKING POTATOES EVER MADE GOD BLESS THE GERMANS

3 potatoes
2 onions, chopped
bacon (idk how much)
1 pkg sauerkraut
1/2 cup or so dry white wine
sugar
pepper

Cut your bacon into little bits, fry them til they're crispy and delicious.  Set aside.  Fry your onions in the bacon grease.  Drain your sauerkraut, cook in wine for like ten minutes or something.  Add a little sugar, a little pepper.  Peel and chop potatoes into 1 inch or so chunks, boil them til they're mashable, mash.  Add everything else.  Try to pretend that this dish doesn't far outstrip everything else you made for dinner.  Shamelessly go for seconds cause fuck it this is awesome.

I just made this again tonight.  *Homer food coma gargle*
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on June 18, 2010, 07:19:19 am
(http://imgur.com/OTf91.jpg)
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on June 18, 2010, 04:05:28 pm
I want one of those yummy looking tarts!!!!

Beautiful crust, did you use butter or lard?
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 23, 2010, 02:26:17 am
Pickled Beets

Beets

Equal parts:
Water
Vinegar
Sugar



Boil beets unpeeled.  When they're soft, yank off the skins and cut to your desired dimensions.  Boil enough water and vinegar to cover the beets completely, add in sugar and make sure it's dissolved completely.  Let steep for at least a couple hours.  Voila, you have picked beets!  Refrigerate in a glass container.
Title: Re: Cooking the Badges way: Just Fucking Wing It
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on November 04, 2010, 01:42:53 am
Hyderabadi tomato relish

~4 tomatoes, peeled seeded and cut into thin slices
6-8 hot green chilis, halved and seeded (or not, if you're hard core)
6+ cloves of garlic, peeled but still whole
1/2 tsp whole cumin
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp cayenne (or other red pepper)
1 tsp salt


Heat some oil up p. damn hot.  Throw in cumin seeds, stir fry until they're brown and fragrant (like 30 seconds).  Add garlic and chilis, stir fry for about a minute (do not let your face get anywhere near the pot or you will get fumigated).  Add everything else, let cook on high for a couple minutes and then simmer for like an hour or something. 

The garlic cloves transform into something miraculously delicious. Mmmmm.