Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Salty on November 04, 2009, 01:06:41 am

Title: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Salty on November 04, 2009, 01:06:41 am

Don't worry.

This isn't some hippie yearning for a life subsisting on roots and hunting down herds of wild jersey cows. I don't think we should all buy Priuses (Priusi?), and use rice-based plastics to house and fuel our future fucking green megacorporations.

I want you to know that right up front when I talk about Oil.

When I say Oil, I don't just mean the oil we pump out of the ground. I mean the giant, well-lubed cog that powers our current civilization, I mean the underlying structure of our culture. The Thing that lets us root around in the filth we've piled around ourselves quite comfortably.

It's not the Oil we're addicted to, it's what the Oil gives us. Namely:  whatever we want.

And boy, do we want. We want stupidly designed and marketed vehicles that get shitty gas milage/kilometerage. We want to be comfortably stark naked inside our homes while it's -40 outside. (And who doesn't?). We want, well, I'm sure you're all more than aware of the constant sucking orifice that is our economic structure. They sell, we buy, we don't even know what the fuck we're buying anymore, BUT GOD DAMMIT WE WANT IT!

And hell, why shouldn't we? Where's the moral compass that says consume less? One that isn't, biased, impractical, fanatical and retarded, I mean. I would argue that in compulsive consumption the quality is missing, but I could argue a lot.

Now, to say that oil is Bad is missing the point. And it's inaccurate.
The black stuff in particular enables us to provide the most basic survival needs, for some, with ease.  And that has to be good because it further enables us to focus on other things. Like, say, Civil Rights. Or Miley Cyrus.

In fact, I LOVE what Oil has done for me, for all of us. In further fact, I don't have an existence that's free of it. So what the fuck would I know about anything else, amiright?

In furthest fact, I would like people to consume MORE. I want people to depend on Oil, I want them to drink it for fucking breakfast.

Because there's only so much. I have no idea when it's going to run out, no experience there. But, of course, it will.

I want that. I want us to turn the dial to 11 and soak in as much of the stuff as fast as we can.

I certainly don't want us to use less. Eventually, the rationing will be done for us, out of kindness, to be sure.

Have you ever had what you know to be the last supply of "something" and it will be awhile before you can replenish your stash? Probably you do, even if that "something" is candy. Well, you hoard what you have, and you suddenly find a wealth of will power where you had none before, and make do until you can git some more.

Except this time there won't be any more. A few last tastes before the dream comes to a crashing halt permanently.

That's no way to beat an addiction. No, there are only two ways really:

1) Work it out, therapy, find something alternative that offers the same/better fulfillment. And frankly, I think that's unlikely,

or

2) Hit rock bottom. From there you'll either find the strength and reason to get up or you'll stay there.

And besides, hitting rock bottom is easy. And fun.

All you have to do is Binge.

Binge and binge and binge.

Suck down that Oil by the throatfull. By a bigass truck with poor gas per kilo/mile. Turn on all your fucking lights and KEEP THEM ON GODAMMIT. In fact, just burn the shit in a barrel in your backyard. You will not only be Making a Difference, you will also be supporting your community by providing a heat source for the local "transients".

Write love letters on your significant's lawn with kersosene!
Learn how to swallow fire, then how to chug it!
Force others to use Oil, in whatever way you and they can!
Physically if required!

Do all this and encourage others to do the same.

Do this because if it's used up, if we're simply OUT. Well, then ingenuity should take over right? The actual NEED for progress in energy will force us to into finding/using methods that make sense, possibly even, don't require as much bloodshed.

Of course that's A) optimistic and B) leaving out something more immediately important AND unlike the ingenuity part, likely.
Namely: a world-wide shitstorm of aggression, violence, and (I can only hope) a sudden painful death of the culture Oil has given us.

What comes after will be primate behavior, to be sure. And we will most likely resurrect Oil, in style if not in substance, like so much massiah.  But that's OK. That's not the point.

The point is, I want to be there, to see the Cog shudder and hitch and finally take it last cancerous turn. Not because I'm a sadist, but because I hate to see a friend suffer. Okay, that wasn't exactly honest. I do want to see it suffer, but just a little.







Hah, wrote this, felt good about it. Re-read it, then remembered: Nukes.
Hurrr.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 04, 2009, 01:29:24 am
I liked it, though. Well done, new guy.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Cramulus on November 04, 2009, 01:44:05 am
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/bin/clue.gif)




This rant will be yoinked for the eventual PALIN 2012 campaign.

because let's not fuck around - we want apocalypse, and we want it now!
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: The Johnny on November 04, 2009, 02:08:52 am

When oil is done...

Coal would be their answer.

Which is as i understand, very much more polluting.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Salty on November 05, 2009, 12:28:50 am
I liked it, though. Well done, new guy.


 :)
Thanks.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 05, 2009, 05:33:14 pm
Stop writing amazing shit.  It makes it really hard to hate you.  :crankey:

TGRR
WILL hate you anyfuckingway, but hates all this extra effort.  FFS.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 05, 2009, 07:14:01 pm

When oil is done...

Coal would be their answer.

Which is as i understand, very much more polluting.

really? i thought they were making plans for nuclear.

which is a much better option IMO.

sure it has it's problems, but by now we don't really have a choice anymore and those things don't explode that often.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: LMNO on November 05, 2009, 07:16:04 pm
Can't we just harness TGRR's rage?
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 05, 2009, 07:24:05 pm
Can't we just harness TGRR's rage?

Get your own bag.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: the other anonymous on November 05, 2009, 09:19:09 pm
I AM A BAG YUO MAY GET ME
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Salty on November 05, 2009, 11:32:25 pm

When oil is done...

Coal would be their answer.

Which is as i understand, very much more polluting.

When we go from this:
(http://www.thetorquereport.com/free_gas-thumb.jpg)


To this:
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a6/Child_and_adult_collecting_coal_or_coke.jpg)

People are going to be pissed.

Also, it's sort of hard to send coal 1000+ miles through a pipe.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Salty on November 05, 2009, 11:34:10 pm
Gyaa! To big.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Salty on November 05, 2009, 11:36:17 pm
Stop writing amazing shit.  It makes it really hard to hate you.  :crankey:

TGRR
WILL hate you anyfuckingway, but hates all this extra effort.  FFS.
:oops:

I'm sure I've got something rattling around that will feed the hate.

Honest.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on November 06, 2009, 12:22:19 am
This rant will be yoinked for the eventual PALIN 2012 campaign.

because let's not fuck around - we want apocalypse, and we want it now!

Yeah, when are we gonna get on that?
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Rumckle on November 06, 2009, 12:40:25 am
2013
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: The Johnny on November 06, 2009, 01:26:08 am
This rant will be yoinked for the eventual PALIN 2012 campaign.

because let's not fuck around - we want apocalypse, and we want it now!

Yeah, when are we gonna get on that?

Gee, i thought we were in the middle of it.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Golden Applesauce on November 06, 2009, 04:39:49 pm

When oil is done...

Coal would be their answer.

Which is as i understand, very much more polluting.

I was under the impression that coal would be used up before oil.  I know most of the coal mines in North America are pretty much tapped out, and the ones that are left are the ones that are really hard to extract coal from.

The future (I predict) will be energy from sugarcane- and canola- derived fuels, transitioning into stuff like jatropha and algae.  (Algae is a long way off, though,) complemented by wind turbines and deserts full of penis engines. (http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/09/giant-penises-s.html)  Hydroelectric is also very efficient - you get 1 power plant by sacrificing 1 river (until the whole thing silts up, and you have neither a functioning power plant nor a functioning river.)
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Jenne on November 06, 2009, 04:49:35 pm
Some research guy in the field of global warming posited that the earth is being warmed up by all those turbines.  That they are increasing the temperature by fractions with all their turning in the wind.

I found that highly amusing.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Salty on November 06, 2009, 04:52:23 pm
Some research guy in the field of global warming posited that the earth is being warmed up by all those turbines.  That they are increasing the temperature by fractions with all their turning in the wind.

I found that highly amusing.

 :lulz:
That is awesome.
Do you have a source on that? I'd love to have the details.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 06, 2009, 05:15:42 pm
Some research guy in the field of global warming posited that the earth is being warmed up by all those turbines.  That they are increasing the temperature by fractions with all their turning in the wind.

I found that highly amusing.

What part of conservation of energy does this research guy have a problem with?
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Salty on November 06, 2009, 05:18:05 pm

When oil is done...

Coal would be their answer.

Which is as i understand, very much more polluting.

I was under the impression that coal would be used up before oil.  I know most of the coal mines in North America are pretty much tapped out, and the ones that are left are the ones that are really hard to extract coal from.

The future (I predict) will be energy from sugarcane- and canola- derived fuels, transitioning into stuff like jatropha and algae.  (Algae is a long way off, though,) complemented by wind turbines and deserts full of penis engines. (http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/09/giant-penises-s.html)  Hydroelectric is also very efficient - you get 1 power plant by sacrificing 1 river (until the whole thing silts up, and you have neither a functioning power plant nor a functioning river.)

I saw this: hxxp://www.zotloeterer.com/our_company/water_vortex_engineering/water_vortex_power_plant.php

recently, though I can't say whether it would be practical. But we definitely would have to start thinking about small, independent, locally run, unique power supplies, and this would be a pretty good place to start in certain communities. Even if we do use nukes, a broadly applicable source, we still wouldn't have the reach we have now.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Jenne on November 06, 2009, 05:38:22 pm
Some research guy in the field of global warming posited that the earth is being warmed up by all those turbines.  That they are increasing the temperature by fractions with all their turning in the wind.

I found that highly amusing.

What part of conservation of energy does this research guy have a problem with?

It wasn't that, it was the fact that the machines themselves contribute overall to global warming.  Fractionally, but still.  I can't remember where I heard it (might have been Ira Flatow's Science Friday earlier last month), but it tickled my funny bone in the irony sector at the time.

Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 06, 2009, 05:40:07 pm
Some research guy in the field of global warming posited that the earth is being warmed up by all those turbines.  That they are increasing the temperature by fractions with all their turning in the wind.

I found that highly amusing.

What part of conservation of energy does this research guy have a problem with?

It wasn't that, it was the fact that the machines themselves contribute overall to global warming.  Fractionally, but still.  I can't remember where I heard it (might have been Ira Flatow's Science Friday earlier last month), but it tickled my funny bone in the irony sector at the time.



So which oil company is funding his research?
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Jenne on November 06, 2009, 08:33:29 pm
Some research guy in the field of global warming posited that the earth is being warmed up by all those turbines.  That they are increasing the temperature by fractions with all their turning in the wind.

I found that highly amusing.

What part of conservation of energy does this research guy have a problem with?

It wasn't that, it was the fact that the machines themselves contribute overall to global warming.  Fractionally, but still.  I can't remember where I heard it (might have been Ira Flatow's Science Friday earlier last month), but it tickled my funny bone in the irony sector at the time.



So which oil company is funding his research?

Yeah yeah, I know.  Geez, I thought it was FUNNAY.  I mean, come on, it can't increase it as much as all those sheep and cows farting depletes the ozone, or the coal mines and oil rigs...but here the panacea to all ills is POSSIBLY found, and it still does something everyone abhors (everyone who believes global warming's real, that is, there's some flat-earth-type-mindsets out there still...many of them...most of them listen to Rush and Glenn).
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 06, 2009, 09:43:22 pm
and they also "pollute the horizon" :|

and kill birds or something ... what exactly possesses birds to fly straight into a gigantic relatively slow moving white thing is beyond me, however. has anyone ever seen one of the three-bladed wind mills on the ground (for construction or repair I guess), they are seriously fucking enormous. you tend to judge the size wrong cause they're on a stick high up in the sky. but even then it's not like they occupy a significant portion of the airspace so, IMO, dumb fucking birds.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Kai on November 06, 2009, 11:44:09 pm
and they also "pollute the horizon" :|

and kill birds or something ... what exactly possesses birds to fly straight into a gigantic relatively slow moving white thing is beyond me, however. has anyone ever seen one of the three-bladed wind mills on the ground (for construction or repair I guess), they are seriously fucking enormous. you tend to judge the size wrong cause they're on a stick high up in the sky. but even then it's not like they occupy a significant portion of the airspace so, IMO, dumb fucking birds.

Tomorrow, an alien race is going to start dropping these big machines on the planet. They stomp around rather heavily, collecting free carbon in the atmosphere for their material creation in outer space. Of course, some humans get smashed with these big machines stomping around, some houses get crushed, a little bit of city destruction here and there. Its not like they occupy a significant portion of the planet, and they're HUGE, you can see them coming miles away. Pretty dumb fucking humans, to walk right into those, they should know exactly to get the hell out of the way the first time they fucking see them, even if they don't give off much light in the visible spectrum.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 07, 2009, 12:28:12 am
Fucking aliens!! :argh!:


So they're placing these windmills on top of birds nests? Why? I mean, it's not that much of a problem when we build other kinds of structures like buildings and houses and such.

And what kind of frequencies of light do birds see then? I'd expect they at least share part of their frequency range with us (no idea if it's on the high or low end though), some overlap, and given that the colour white is basically all over the human visible spectrum, they should be able to see it, no?
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Kai on November 07, 2009, 10:15:18 pm
Fucking aliens!! :argh!:


So they're placing these windmills on top of birds nests? Why? I mean, it's not that much of a problem when we build other kinds of structures like buildings and houses and such.

And what kind of frequencies of light do birds see then? I'd expect they at least share part of their frequency range with us (no idea if it's on the high or low end though), some overlap, and given that the colour white is basically all over the human visible spectrum, they should be able to see it, no?

Actually, Its a problem no matter what structure you use. Birds get killed in large numbers by high structures every year, whether skyscrapers or electric grids. Mostly migratory birds and raptors, not birds that fly close to the ground. Think waterfowl that migrate north/south with the seasons, or birds of prey that ride thermals high up. Bats have even more difficulty than birds actually. Whereas birds can maybe see and avoid the arms, bat echolocation is more or less useless. There was a big wind farm ready to go up in central wisconsin, but it was shot down because of its proximity to this large bat colony.

I was mostly just trolling you. On the other hand, I get tired of the "stupid [insert critter here] deserves to die if it can't alter its behavior around our ultra new technological objects of environmental interference" argument.

On the other other hand, theres always gonna be some effects on wildlife from human constructions. And I hate to say it, but utilitarianism is sometimes the best option.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Golden Applesauce on November 08, 2009, 02:37:48 am
Some research guy in the field of global warming posited that the earth is being warmed up by all those turbines.  That they are increasing the temperature by fractions with all their turning in the wind.

I found that highly amusing.

Well, yeah, but so does everything.  You can't transfer energy without giving off heat.  The heat sources on earth (other than geothermals, possibly) aren't really significant enough to affect global climate - it's the waste gases that change the way the Sun's rays get reflected and absorbed.  And since the Sun is such a ridiculous power source (judged by the terrestrial scale) even tiny tiny fractions of that have huge impacts on the planet.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Template on November 09, 2009, 03:59:21 am
Fucking aliens!! :argh!:


So they're placing these windmills on top of birds nests? Why? I mean, it's not that much of a problem when we build other kinds of structures like buildings and houses and such.

And what kind of frequencies of light do birds see then? I'd expect they at least share part of their frequency range with us (no idea if it's on the high or low end though), some overlap, and given that the colour white is basically all over the human visible spectrum, they should be able to see it, no?

It's like crossing a busy freeway, or a shrapnel explosion--it's not that you will get hit, but that someone likely will, eventually.  The average number in a year can be estimated.
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on November 09, 2009, 04:19:58 am
Whee!
 i hadn't read this yet! i like it.....

I have great plans of creating a pig shit powered methane production facility after the hubbert catastrophe....
i'm going to encourage barter, and i will run the town while riding on a giant retarded guy...
Title: Re: Drink it for fucking breakfast.
Post by: fomenter on November 09, 2009, 04:21:48 am
WHO RUN BARTER TOWN  :lulz: :lulz: