Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 02:44:42 pm

Title: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 02:44:42 pm
(http://www.ic-gallery.com/albums/userpics/10783/emo-oranges~0.jpg)

I CHALLENGE ALL OF YOU SIMPERING JIZZWIT FUCKS TO AN ORANGE EATING CONTEST

YOU'RE ALL ABOUT TO GET SCHOOLED, CRAMULUS STYLE

AT ABOUT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT I STAGGERED DOWNSTAIRS AND STARTED TRASH TALKING MY ROOM MATE. I WAS LIKE, "I BET I CAN EAT MORE ORANGES THAN YOU IN A DAY."

HE WAS LIKE, "ARE WE TALKING ABOUT EATING A SICKENING AMOUNT OF ORANGES FOR NO REASON AT ALL?"

I WAS LIKE, "HELL YES THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU FUCKING ASS TURBAN. I'M GOING TO EAT SO MANY ORANGES I'LL PISS TANG ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING GRAVE."

HE WAS LIKE "IT'S ON!!!!" AND I SHAT JIZZ EVERYWHERE LIKE THERE WAS A FIRE HOSE COMING OUT OF MY ASS AND THOROUGHLY SATISFYING YOUR MOTHER. SEXUALLY.

SO THIS MORNING ON THE WAY TO WORK I BOUGHT A BAG OF GODDAMN ORANGES. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU GIANT SPINNING TURDS WHO DOES NOT TAKE UP THE CHALLENGE IS GOING TO BE ENTERED INTO THE LEDGER OF PEOPLE WHOSE EYE SOCKETS I'M GOING TO ROMANCE WITH MY ELBOW WHILE I PLAY THE MEXICAN HAT DANCE ON YOUR LAME ASS FAIL BALLS.



IT'S ON
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 02:49:56 pm
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/ITSONLIKEDONKEYKONG.jpg)

GUESS WHO ATE AN ORANGE ALREADY?

ME

GUESS WHOSE ASS IS GETTING BANGED BY TEN NASTY GORILLAS IN THE ORANGE EATING CONTEST?

ALL OF YUO




(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/pdinfinity.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 02:54:44 pm
IN OTHER NEWS YOU BLOWGOATS ALL SUCK ASS

YOU COULDN'T EAT AN ORANGE IF YOU HAD A RUNNING START.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE JURASSIC AMOUNTS OF FAIL I EXPERIENCE EVERY DAY BY POSTING HERE, JUST BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELT AND TAKE A SHIT
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on June 22, 2010, 03:00:17 pm
i tried this with bananas once... apparently bananas cause constipation :(
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 03:01:57 pm
HO HO HO HOLD THE PHONE

I'M ABOUT TO FINISH MY SECOND ORANGE

:cramstipated:

ALL OF YOU CAN EAT A SHIT TACO FROM GUAM FOR ALL I CARE

YOU'RE LIKE THE TACO BELL OF PRANCING FROLICKING DICKS. IF I WANTED A SINGING PHALLUS WHO SPENDS ALL DAY WEINERING ABOUT AND SLATHERING A KEYBOARD WITH BALLS I'D ORDER A CHALUPA AND CALL THE POLICE



(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/forum/ohsnap-1.gif)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 03:03:43 pm
i tried this with bananas once... apparently bananas cause constipation :(

DID SOMEBODY SAY, HEY FRED, I'D REALLY LOVE TO HEAR YOU REAM ON AND ON LIKE YOU'RE CONDUCTING A SCIENTIFIC FILIBUSTER TO SEE IF YOU CAN REACH FATAL LEVELS OF FAIL? NO? THEN STUFF A BUTT PLUG IN YOUR MOUTH AND CRY YOURSELF A NEW ASSHOLE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Richter on June 22, 2010, 03:11:57 pm

CRAM IT CRAM.

ORANGES?  MORE LIKE BORANGES!
YOU CAN MOUTH MOLEST ALL THE SCREMAING FRUIT YOU LIKE.  CRAM AS MANY OF THOSE YIELDING PATHIC LIE DOWN TO GET FUCKED FRANCE-STYLE PARADISE FRUITS AS YOU LIKE.  WON'T CHANGE A THING.  MY POOP IS STRONGEST.  I'VE TAKEN 3 DUMPS TODAY.  STONE COLD SOLID FUCKERS.  EVERY BIT OF PLANT MATTER FOR 3 FURLONGS HAS WITHERED, AND SMALL CHILDREN ARE SOBBING FOR NO REASON.

SIMPEL FACT:  YOUR ASS IS GONNA GET BLOWN OPEN LIKE PEELED SLICED MONKY SNACKS.  YOUR SPHINCTER IS GONNA REMIND PEOPLE OF A MERCATOR PROJECTION.  


Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on June 22, 2010, 03:14:31 pm
ORANGES = FAGFOOD
CHILLIES OR GTFO!!!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 03:21:34 pm
DEAREST RICHTER

WHILE YOU MAY BE THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF TAKING NINE DUMPS FASTER THAN I CAN TAKE NINE DUMPS, THIS CONTEST IS ACTUALLY ABOUT CRAMMING YOURSELF SO FULL OF CITRUS THAT EVEN YUOR DISTENDED WRINKLY SPHINCTER CAN'T HANDLE IT. BUT I PROMISE YOU THIS, TURD QUEEN: I CAN EAT MORE ORANGES THAN YOU CAN SHIT IN A DAY.

DO YOU WANT TO STEP? THEN STEP RIGHT UP AND GET A GOOD SNIFF OF MY WINNING ASS BECAUSE IT'S THE LAST THING YOU'RE GOING TO SEE BEFORE YOU NADS ARE SURGICALLY ATTACHED TO YOUR NIPPLES AND THEN RIPPED OFF BY A TEAM OF IDIOTS SPECIALLY TRAINED IN BADLY FUCKING UP WHATEVER SURGICAL PROCEDURE I'VE CONCOCTED FOR YOUR LUMPY SMEGMA POOL OF A FACE. WE'VE BEEN MALPRACTICING ALL MORNING, DILL SMOKE.

YOURS,

CRAMULUS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 03:23:52 pm
I once did the Tropicana Run in less than 12 parsecs.

I've turned grapefruit into depth charges that have overturned motorboats in no wake zones to save the lives of Manatees.

I've played rugby with a goddamn papaya.

I have limed more Coronas from a tree in my front yard than Carter has liver pills.

I have shot kumquats into orbit using mortars on the Fourth of July.


SON, I AM THE PERSONIFICATION OF BACKYARD CITRUS UTILIZATION.


IT'S FUCKING ON!!!!! LIEK RED DAWN!

2 oranges down for breakfast, peeled by hand and everything, in 4 minutes and 6 seconds.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: bds on June 22, 2010, 03:31:51 pm
WHAT THE FUCK I'VE FUCKING EATEN FIVE SHITTING ORANGES ALREADY TODAY AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE WRINKLY ORANGE LITTLE FUCKS HOLY SHITBALLS MY ENTIRE HOUSE IS COVERED IN PEELINGS AND FECAL MATTER WOW HOLY DICKS YOU'RE GOING DOWN IN A HUGE ORANGE FLAMING FUCKNUGGET BALL OF OWNED CRAM

I HOPE YOU HAVE YOUR "I FUCKING SUCK AND GOT PWND IN MY OWN ORANGE EATING COMPETITION" BADGE READY, CAUSE YOU'RE GUNNA NEED TO PIN IT TO YOUR BUTT ONCE I'M DONE WITH THIS SIXTH ORANGE


FUCKING SIX
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 03:37:22 pm
SIX ORANGES ALREADY? I CALL BULLSHIT. BLOW MY ASS AND CALL ME QUEEN FUCK

(http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/Smileys/default/fuckoff.gif)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: bds on June 22, 2010, 03:40:22 pm
SIX ORANGES IN 45 MINUTES = ONE ORANGE PER 7.5 MINUTES


THAT'S FUCKING SLOW I COULD RUN A MILE QUICKER THAN THAT HOLY FUCK


FRUIT BOWL IS EMPTY NOW THOUGH, I BOW DOWN BEFORE THOSE WITH MORE CITRUS-EY FRUIT STORAGE AREAS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 03:43:43 pm
THREE ORANGES HAVE BEEN CONSUMED BY CRAMULUS, CHAMPION OF THE HUMAN RACE. AFTER THE FOURTH ORANGE I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO TO THE CORNER STORE AND PISTOL WHIP A BITCH. THE VITAMIN C IS TURNING MY BLOOD ORANGE LIKE A VULCAN.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 03:44:36 pm
If BDS really had 6 oranges, he's going to be peeing for the rest of the day and unable to continue. So fuck him.

3 oranges down here.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 03:56:08 pm
BDS HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE THRILLING TALE OF THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE?

HERE'S A CLUE: THE RABBIT EATS SIX ORANGES AND THEN GETS GANGBANGED BY THROAT RAPERS WITH TREMBLING CALLOUSED HANDS. THEN HE TAKES UP THE CLARINET AND ENDS UP ON THE SIX O'CLOCK NEWS WITH THIS HEADLINE:

:news:
ASS MONGLER CALLED BDS DIES FROM ANAL TIDAL WAVE.



        FAIL AT ELEVEN!
        /
:nigel:

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR SIX FUCKING ORANGES? GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 03:56:42 pm
WITH ORANGES


IN CASE THAT WASN'T CLEAR
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: bds on June 22, 2010, 03:59:50 pm
OH MY GOD   :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:






ALSO I JUST SHAT. IT WAS DISGUSTING OMG WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO ME CRAM
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 04:01:41 pm
OH GOD ME TOO

I FEEL LIKE A WHITE BRONCO HAS ESCAPED FROM MY ASS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 04:08:27 pm
FOUR ORANGES DOWN

I WENT TO THE STORE
TO GET MORE
ORANGES
TO START THE WAR
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 22, 2010, 04:11:39 pm

CRAM IT CRAM.

ORANGES?  MORE LIKE BORANGES!
YOU CAN MOUTH MOLEST ALL THE SCREMAING FRUIT YOU LIKE.  CRAM AS MANY OF THOSE YIELDING PATHIC LIE DOWN TO GET FUCKED FRANCE-STYLE PARADISE FRUITS AS YOU LIKE.  WON'T CHANGE A THING.  MY POOP IS STRONGEST.  I'VE TAKEN 3 DUMPS TODAY.  STONE COLD SOLID FUCKERS.  EVERY BIT OF PLANT MATTER FOR 3 FURLONGS HAS WITHERED, AND SMALL CHILDREN ARE SOBBING FOR NO REASON.

SIMPEL FACT:  YOUR ASS IS GONNA GET BLOWN OPEN LIKE PEELED SLICED MONKY SNACKS.  YOUR SPHINCTER IS GONNA REMIND PEOPLE OF A MERCATOR PROJECTION.  




:lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on June 22, 2010, 04:20:12 pm
FUCK I DON'T HAVE ANY ORANGES

I AM TOTALLY CATCHING THE FUCK UP LATER TODAY THOUGH AND PROVE MY ORANGE-STAINED SUPERIORITY. SITTING IN CLASS IS GONNA BE AWESOME.


ALSO, DO GRAPEFRUITS COUNT?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 04:28:36 pm
NO GRAPEFRUITS OBVIOUSLY DON'T COUNT IF YOU EAT ONE YOU MIGHT AS WELL TAKE OFF YOUR SUSPENDERS AND RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF THE SCROTE CLUB. BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO CHECK YOUR FACE AT THE DOOR ON THE WAY IN BECAUSE THERE ARE NO WEAPONS OF TITANIC FAIL ALLOWED IN THIS CONTEST UNLESS YOUR BRAIN DAMAGED UNCLE IS DONE MOLESTING YOUR FACE WITH HIS PET FERRET AND WANTS TO ENTER THAT FERRET.

I'M BACK FROM THE STORE WITH MORE ORANGES SO THE REST OF YOU JIZZKNOBS MIGHT AS WELL EAT A ZIPLOCK BAG FULL OF DICKS. THE ZIP SEAL KEEPS YOUR FAIL FRESH AS A SUMMER DAY.

MY WILLPOWER TO EAT ORANGES IS FADING BUT YOU'RE ALL GOING TO FUCK Y'ALL WITH A NECK FULL OF SWEAT UNTIL THE LORD CHRIST HIMSELF MAKES THE WINNING TOUCHDOWN IN THOSE GOALPOSTS YOU CALL AN ASS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Richter on June 22, 2010, 04:40:49 pm

Guess how many Oranges I've ate so far?

NONE.

THAT'S RIGHT.  i'M NOT FUCKING DEFINED BY MY CONSUMPTION. 
I AIN'T A PART OF YO SYSTEM.

ZERO ORANGES DOWN, BUT I HOUSED A FUCKING BAG OF TORTELLINI AND REAMED EACH INDIVIDUAL BUSTED ASSHOLE MEATSNAKC WITH MY TONGUE MUCH LIKE I DID TO YO MOTHERS SAVORY BUM LAST NIGHT. 

THAT'S RIGHT, WHILE YOU WERE RIDING YOUR IKE WITH NO HANDLEBARS, I WAS FISTING YOUR MOM WITH MY WHOLE FACE.  GUESS WHERE THAT BAG OF ORANGES WAS?

THE GODDAMN SCOUTMASTER OF THE UNIVERSE SHOWED UP IN PERSON TO GIVE ME A MERIT BADGE FOR THAT, AND IT LOOKS A LOT BETTER ON MY BANDOLIER OF MACE, LUBE, AND HIGH PWOERED FIREARMS, THAN THOSE HERPES SORES YOUR DAD GAVE YOU LOOK.

LIKE A CUCUMBER.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Richter on June 22, 2010, 04:43:17 pm


Y'ALL GO OFF SCREMAING LIKE EXTREMEISTS.
FOR ALL YOUR  NOISE YOUR ONLY EX - REAMISTS.

R, DROPPIN' IT ECH STYLE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 04:45:45 pm
(http://www.thehighcalling.org/images/Library/Large/Message_00289.jpg)

WHAT'S THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY TYPING WITH SUCH A TINY NAMBY PAMBY PREPUBESCENT DICK THAT THE WORDS COME OUT IN A FONT TOO SMALL TO READ.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on June 22, 2010, 04:51:49 pm
CRAM YOU INSULIN-GOBBLING SHITEMONGLER

YOU ONLY BANNED GRAPEFRUITS FROM THE CONTEST BECAUSE YOUR PANSY ASS IS TOO FULL OF LOTUS FLOWERS AND FAIL-SNAILS TO MAN THE FUCK UP TO THE HOOCHIE MAMA OF CITRUS THAT IS GRAPEFRUIT

MAYBE YOU SHOULD SAVE YOURSELF THE REST OF THE HUMILIATION NOW AND TURN IN YOUR GOLDEN WHALE PENIS DILDO TROPHY THAT YOU WON FOR SHITTING YOUR PANTS IN THE THIRD GRADE
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 04:57:04 pm
I need to get more oranges now.

5 down. that was all of them.

...my tummy is all WTF.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 04:59:28 pm
CAINAD, FOR ALL I CARE YOU CAN GO START YOUR OWN GRAPEFRUIT CRAMMING CONTEST WITH THOSE FANTA GARGLING MONGOLOIDS YOU CALL FRIENDS WHO HAVE THE READING COMPREHENSION OF A BELGIAN WAFFLE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Richter on June 22, 2010, 05:00:06 pm
(http://www.thehighcalling.org/images/Library/Large/Message_00289.jpg)

WHAT'S THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY TYPING WITH SUCH A TINY NAMBY PAMBY PREPUBESCENT DICK THAT THE WORDS COME OUT IN A FONT TOO SMALL TO READ.

..I'm going to say this very slowly, in words you will understand.


MY
BALLS
WILL
DESTROY
YOUR
FACE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on June 22, 2010, 05:07:00 pm
 :aaa:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 05:13:35 pm
I'm withdrawing.

I can't repel testicular fortitude of this magnitude!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on June 22, 2010, 05:15:46 pm
For the record, I would be participating if I had the oranges, time or money.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 05:17:01 pm
:aaa:

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO ADD, OR ARE YOU JUST GOING TO STAND THERE WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN STAIRING AT THE SKY LIKE THAT SCUNT WHO WORKS AT THE CARWASH? DANGER WILL ROBINSON, IF IT STARTS RAINING YOU'RE GOING TO DROWN AND I'M GOING TO SLAP YOUR CAR LIKE I'M E. HONDA IN THE BONUS STAGE OF STREET FIGHTER 2 WHERE YOU DESTROY A VEHICLE AND TAKE A DUMP ON AN INDIAN.

(http://site.video-game-central.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/street_fighter_ii_bonus_stage.jpg)



GUESS WHAT, TURDS-FOR-PIGTAILS? I AM NOW EATING MY SIXTH ORANGE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on June 22, 2010, 05:26:03 pm
I don't have a car.  :cry:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 05:28:15 pm
                  NOT ANYMOAR!
                          \

(http://www.recomendocomcerveja.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/honda.jpg)



Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on June 22, 2010, 05:41:28 pm
                 NOT ANYMOAR!
                          \

(http://www.recomendocomcerveja.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/honda.jpg)





That man is horrifying and looks exactly like one of my DnD buddies, only white instead of native.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on June 22, 2010, 05:42:11 pm
ALL RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKERS, ITS TIME FOR THE TRUE CITRUS EATING CHAMP TO SHOVE HER COCKFIST UP YOUR ASSHOLES WITH MOTHERFUCKING ORANGE POWER. SO Y'ALL BETTER BEWARE, FREEKY TAKES NO PRISONERS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on June 22, 2010, 05:43:54 pm
ALL RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKERS, ITS TIME FOR THE TRUE CITRUS EATING CHAMP TO SHOVE HER COCKFIST UP YOUR ASSHOLES WITH MOTHERFUCKING ORANGE POWER. SO Y'ALL BETTER BEWARE, FREEKY TAKES NO PRISONERS.

EXCEPT FOR ORANGES. IN HER GAPING MAWFACE. OM NOM NOM
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on June 22, 2010, 06:01:12 pm
HAY CAPTAIN SLACK. YOU KNOW WHAT?



YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT???!


























:this: , YOU COCKGOBBLING PUSSY JUGGLING SISSY BOY!


ORANGE # 2, DOWN THE HATCH!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: NWC on June 22, 2010, 06:17:41 pm
YOU ARE ALL SO LUCKY I DON'T HAVE ANY ORANGES. NO ONE BEATS ME WHEN IT COMES TO CITRUS EXTREMISM. I ONCE ATE 33 CLEMENTINES IN ONE DAY, SO MUCH THAT THE ACID ATE THROUGH MY STOMACH, GIVING ME PAIN FOR THE 2 FOLLOWING DAYS. THEN I DIDN'T EAT ANOTHER CLEMENTINE FOR 5 YEARS.

FUCKING EXTREME.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 07:19:32 pm
THIS THREAD IS THE BEST THREAD IN THE HISTORY OF THREADS, AND I ACCEPT YOUR ORANGE-EATING CHALLENGE EVEN THOUGH YOU NOW HAVE A FOUR-HOUR HEADSTART ON ME, CRAMULUS.


NO MORTAL MOTHERFUCKER CAN EAT MORE ORANGES THAN I CAN EAT AND IT IS PROVEN BY THE FACT THAT I ONCE ATE SO MANY ORANGES THAT I GAVE BIRTH TO A CITRUS DEMON-SPAWN WHO WILL PUSH YOUR ORANGE-FAILING ASS DOWN THE GODDAMN STAIRS.

YES, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU ARE ABOUT TO LOSE, AND EVEN RICHTER'S MAGNIFICENT SPHINCTER CANNOT COMPETE WITH THE GASTROINTESTINAL WONDER THAT IS MY STOMACH AND INTESTINES.

I WILL DIGEST THE MOTHERFUCK OUT OF THOSE FUCKING ORANGES, WITH BOTH HANDS TIED BEHIND MY BACK, AND YOU WILL PALE AND FLINCH BESIDE MY GLORY.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 07:33:10 pm
BOW TO ME, PLEBEIANS!

FOR I, SOVEREIGN PRINCESS KAOUSUU OF THE SOVEREIGN PRINCIPALITY OF KAOUSUU HAS WALKED TO THE BODEGA AROUND THE CORNER AND PURCHASED ANOTHER 5 ORANGES FOR GREAT FUCKING JUSTICE.

THIS FLORIDIAN WILL NOT FALL TO THE LIKES OF YOUR HEDONISM, NEPOTISM, JINGOISM AND GAY WANGO AND OR TANGOISM. THIS IS WAR, MOTHERFUCKERS!

8 ORANGES. DOWN THE HATCH SINCE THE CHALLENGE WAS MADE.

I WILL PISS PURE CITRIC ACID FOR DAYS.

MY IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME WILL CAUSE AND ERUPTION OF EXTREME VITAMIN C OVERLOAD MAGNITUDE FROM MY COLON THAT NO ONE WITHIN 362 MILES OF PROVIDENCE WILL BE ABLE TO SURVIVE.


Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 07:36:05 pm
ugghhhhhhh struggling through number seven...

goddd suuu whyyyyyyyyyyy you gotta raise the bar??

:vom:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Captain Utopia on June 22, 2010, 07:37:37 pm

WHAT THE NOSEFUCK CRAM?  IMMA SICK OF YOU AND YOUR FASCITRUS AGENDA.  IT'S ALWAYS ORANGES WITH YOU ISN'T IT?  LAST WEEK THE "OH EVERYBODY FUKKIN LOOK AT ME, I BET I CAN STUFF TWENTY ORANGES UP MY ARSE" THREAD, THE WEEK BEFORE THAT THE "LETS ALL THROW ORANGES AT THE HOMELESS, IT'S CHARIFUN, FOR ERIS" BULLSHIT.  WHOSE PAYROLL ARE YOU ON, REALLY?

(http://i1008.photobucket.com/albums/af205/spiff_bucket/cramobey.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jenne on June 22, 2010, 07:51:04 pm
i has no oranges.  i has no intent of buying them, either.  :(  i is fail.






(but i am enjoying the FUCK out of this fread)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 07:53:00 pm
orange # 7 was like eating a wrecking ball

I can actually feel my stomach lining....

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 22, 2010, 07:56:30 pm
orange # 7 was like eating a wrecking ball

I can actually feel my stomach lining....



You know, you may actually fuck yourself up doing this.

And no dying til you get the package I sent you.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 08:03:17 pm
I just burped pure acid.


...I'm wondering if going for number 9 is actually a good idea or not. Fuck.


CRAM YOU DAMNULUS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!!??!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 08:05:59 pm
(http://i1008.photobucket.com/albums/af205/spiff_bucket/cramobey.jpg)

HEY
CAPTAIN FRUITOPIA

 I'VE GOT A MISSION FOR YOU. HERE'S TWO QUARTERS. GRAB YOUR CANKLES AND CALL YOUR MOTHER A WHORE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on June 22, 2010, 08:07:06 pm
Four pages in, this has gotten pretty damn ugly.  And ever more hilarious.



Thank you, PD.com, for sacrificing your bodies for the sake of the lulz.



NOW GET THE FUCK BACK TO WORK EATING THOSE MOTHERFUCKING ORANGES.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 08:12:29 pm
I just burped pure acid.


...I'm wondering if going for number 9 is actually a good idea or not. Fuck.


CRAM YOU DAMNULUS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!!??!

fucking seriously. I just took a dump that looked like orange pulp. Not exaggerating. I've finished seven oranges, going to pause here and let my metabolism catch up.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Richter on June 22, 2010, 08:13:47 pm
You all just accidentally your stomach lining.  Enjoy your ulcers. 
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 08:17:27 pm
WHAT ARE YOU AMATEURS DOING? I AM STARTING ON ORANGE FOUR. CAN YOU FEEL MY HOT BREATH NIPPING AT YOUR HIND?

FUCK IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO EAT FUCKING ORANGES.
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO DO IT.


SLOW AND STEADY NOW.

MOTHERFUCKERS, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TESTICULARLY RETARDED SISSYPANTS ORANGE-EATING WANNABEES?

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 08:23:29 pm
ORANGE NUMBER FOUR


I WILL SHOW YOU

TACO BELL MARGARITAS!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on June 22, 2010, 08:23:50 pm
I AM A FUCKING PUSSY. I AM PULLING OUT AFTER ONLY TWO.

FAIL. :x
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 08:25:42 pm
NUMBER 9...NUMBER 9...NUMBER 9...IN THE CAN!





Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 08:32:12 pm
I'MA STILL BE EATING ORANGES AFTER YOU PANSIES ARE ASLEEP! I CAN'T LOSE!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Richter on June 22, 2010, 08:35:42 pm
NUMBER 9...NUMBER 9...NUMBER 9...IN THE CAN!







If you have any complaints about the condition of you GI tract Thursday I will point and laugh.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 08:37:27 pm
Are you kidding? With the amount of fiber I'm ingesting this shit should pass in no time.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 08:38:40 pm
NUMBER 9...NUMBER 9...NUMBER 9...IN THE CAN!







If you have any complaints about the condition of you GI tract Thursday I will point and laugh.

Richter. Remember who you're talking to... I eat raw beef for breakfast almost every morning. I once went a month eating nothing but tinned fish, candy, and things that are pickled. I view sausage that's been left out as a challenge. I ate nothing but cheeseburgers for all of September... some of them raw.

Feh. These are mere ORANGES. Oranges shall not defeat me! My digestive system owns everything!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Richter on June 22, 2010, 08:43:48 pm
Comment was not direct at Nigel, Nigel's colon, or any other such honorable participants. 

Please accept apologies and please not to explode my head with yo sphincter. 

For thine is the kingdom of indestructibowel.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 08:48:11 pm
Oh. My. Fucking. God.



It started out
                     as a fart.



and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.


I can't believe it ---



  --- I actually just crapped my pants!


              --- at work











on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on June 22, 2010, 08:50:30 pm
Sweet merciful fuck, you've been doing this at work?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 08:50:37 pm
I WILL PREVAIL!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 08:52:57 pm
(http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/Smileys/default/icon_redface.gif)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 08:54:07 pm
My colon is still functioning as normal. What's wrong with you?!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 22, 2010, 08:54:46 pm
Oh. My. Fucking. God.



It started out
                     as a fart.



and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.


I can't believe it ---



  --- I actually just crapped my pants!


              --- at work











on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!

Okay.  Cram has officially deified himself. :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 08:57:03 pm
I just burped stomach acid again.

Ooooff....
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 22, 2010, 08:58:50 pm
I just burped stomach acid again.

Ooooff....

Tums.

Seriously.  Your espohagus is going to look like a WWI battlefield.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Richter on June 22, 2010, 08:59:38 pm
Oh. My. Fucking. God.



It started out
                     as a fart.



and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.


I can't believe it ---



  --- I actually just crapped my pants!


              --- at work











on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!

Ride it out.  Perform a half ass cleaning job in the bathroom, and then spend the rest of the day stinking up the joint.  People WILL walk on eggshells to avoid implying that you crapped yourself.  In fact, your feces are completely non-culpable once washed away, and you can call the wrath of HR down on anyone who tries to complain.  
The burden of proof in on them in regards to the shit being in your pants at the time.

(Bonus points if you can incorporate Vasquez's "Somebody put shit in my pants.")    
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 09:06:45 pm
I just burped stomach acid again.

Ooooff....

Tums.

Seriously.  Your espohagus is going to look like a WWI battlefield.

It already does. I take Prilosec daily.

Mmm...purple pill time.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Elder Iptuous on June 22, 2010, 09:12:14 pm
Cram,
please to describe the extent of your little accident.
is it a mere skidmark, or are those shorts going in the burn pile?
oh good lord, that's excellent!
 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 09:23:05 pm
Oh. My. Fucking. God.



It started out
                     as a fart.



and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.


I can't believe it ---



  --- I actually just crapped my pants!


              --- at work











on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!

I can't stop laughing.

I'm... sorry?

Wait, does this mean you're withdrawing your challenge?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 09:33:08 pm
He better not!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 09:38:45 pm
He better not!

Yeah, I know... I just ate five oranges. I want it to be for something! Something GREAT!

I guess Cram crapping his pants at work is pretty great, but he could have done that without my participation.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 09:40:18 pm
Well, my turn for the bathroom, let's see what happens!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 09:46:53 pm
I hope you guys have been eating other things besides oranges!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 10:12:29 pm
What's going on, you guys? I still have six oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 10:19:28 pm
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.


...And uh...does coffee count?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 10:22:16 pm
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.


...And uh...does coffee count?

No! You have to eat other food too!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 10:29:02 pm
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.


...And uh...does coffee count?

No! You have to eat other food too!

There's no rule about this!


PROFESSOR!!11111111111
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 10:33:26 pm
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.


...And uh...does coffee count?

No! You have to eat other food too!

There's no rule about this!


PROFESSOR!!11111111111

Maybe not for the contest... but for the sake of not feeling like hell, it seems like a good idea? I've eaten all sorts of non-orange things in between the oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 10:33:49 pm
If I eat ten, do I win?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 22, 2010, 10:36:14 pm
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.


...And uh...does coffee count?

No! You have to eat other food too!

There's no rule about this!


PROFESSOR!!11111111111

Professor Cramulus seems to be, ah, indisposed. :lol:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 10:36:51 pm
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.


...And uh...does coffee count?

No! You have to eat other food too!

There's no rule about this!


PROFESSOR!!11111111111

Professor Cramulus seems to be, ah, indisposed. :lol:

 :cry:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 22, 2010, 10:37:39 pm
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.


...And uh...does coffee count?

No! You have to eat other food too!

There's no rule about this!


PROFESSOR!!11111111111

Professor Cramulus seems to be, ah, indisposed. :lol:

 :cry:

"He's dead, but not necessarily out of the race."
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: GIGGLES on June 22, 2010, 10:42:55 pm
(http://www.ic-gallery.com/albums/userpics/10783/emo-oranges~0.jpg)

I CHALLENGE ALL OF YOU SIMPERING JIZZWIT FUCKS TO AN ORANGE EATING CONTEST

YOU'RE ALL ABOUT TO GET SCHOOLED, CRAMULUS STYLE

AT ABOUT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT I STAGGERED DOWNSTAIRS AND STARTED TRASH TALKING MY ROOM MATE. I WAS LIKE, "I BET I CAN EAT MORE ORANGES THAN YOU IN A DAY."

HE WAS LIKE, "ARE WE TALKING ABOUT EATING A SICKENING AMOUNT OF ORANGES FOR NO REASON AT ALL?"

I WAS LIKE, "HELL YES THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU FUCKING ASS TURBAN. I'M GOING TO EAT SO MANY ORANGES I'LL PISS TANG ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING GRAVE."

HE WAS LIKE "IT'S ON!!!!" AND I SHAT JIZZ EVERYWHERE LIKE THERE WAS A FIRE HOSE COMING OUT OF MY ASS AND THOROUGHLY SATISFYING YOUR MOTHER. SEXUALLY.

SO THIS MORNING ON THE WAY TO WORK I BOUGHT A BAG OF GODDAMN ORANGES. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU GIANT SPINNING TURDS WHO DOES NOT TAKE UP THE CHALLENGE IS GOING TO BE ENTERED INTO THE LEDGER OF PEOPLE WHOSE EYE SOCKETS I'M GOING TO ROMANCE WITH MY ELBOW WHILE I PLAY THE MEXICAN HAT DANCE ON YOUR LAME ASS FAIL BALLS.



IT'S ON

HOLY COCKSHIT! IT'S ON LIKE RED DAWN!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 10:43:09 pm
If I eat ten, do I win?

I think once I get some dinner I'll get back to this. I have yet to effectively blow out my sphincter and feel fine aside from the acidy burps.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 22, 2010, 10:43:24 pm
okay okay okay okay okay

it was more of a "skidmark" shart than a hiroshimic trumpeting.

I came home, showered, put on fresh pants with no poop in 'em.



My stomach has ceased its open rebellion but I'm going to take a little break and let it calm down before I continue to poison myself. I AM NOT BEATEN YET!

btw... coffe + citric acid =  :x
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 22, 2010, 10:44:32 pm
okay okay okay okay okay

it was more of a "skidmark" shart than a hiroshimic trumpeting.

I came home, showered, put on fresh pants with no poop in 'em.



My stomach has ceased its open rebellion but I'm going to take a little break and let it calm down before I continue to poison myself. I AM NOT BEATEN YET!

btw... coffe + citric acid =  :x

This is awe-inspiring raw stupidity in the name of SCIENCE! (and gluttony)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 10:50:48 pm
I need to know something... are you guys eating full-on Navel oranges, or those little Valencias?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 22, 2010, 10:51:32 pm
I need to know something... are you guys eating full-on Navel oranges, or those little Valencias?

Valencias are cheating, I think.  You don't half-ass this sort of thing.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 10:52:10 pm
okay okay okay okay okay

it was more of a "skidmark" shart than a hiroshimic trumpeting.

I came home, showered, put on fresh pants with no poop in 'em.



My stomach has ceased its open rebellion but I'm going to take a little break and let it calm down before I continue to poison myself. I AM NOT BEATEN YET!

btw... coffe + citric acid =  :x

This is awe-inspiring raw stupidity in the name of SCIENCE! (and gluttony)

AMERRRUKUH! FUCK YEAH!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 11:00:11 pm
I can't tell what kind they are, but they aren't small, but no navel.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 11:01:25 pm
OK... I wanted to make sure. Because my oranges are fucking huge.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 22, 2010, 11:05:26 pm
These are from a Hispanic grocery store, they don't fuck around.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 22, 2010, 11:06:52 pm
I was going to buy a box from Corner Fruit Guy, but he wasn't there. Why is he never there on the days I want his fruit?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 22, 2010, 11:47:46 pm
I was going to buy a box from Corner Fruit Guy, but he wasn't there. Why is he never there on the days I want his fruit?

Because he froze to death last winter.  That's just his ghost, haunting you all for not patronizing his business while there was still time.

Dok,
Like Doctor Seuss gone bad.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Iason Ouabache on June 23, 2010, 12:10:36 am
Oh. My. Fucking. God.



It started out
                     as a fart.



and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.


I can't believe it ---



  --- I actually just crapped my pants!


              --- at work











on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!
:potd: Post of the mother-fucking century right there.   :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 23, 2010, 12:28:48 am
I've been reading this thread for an hour, and laughing myself silly at your feeble fucking amateur orangey spaggotry. I've absent mindedly munched down 14 oranges, and I wasn't even aware I was doing it. And I bet you're all peeling the fuckers too, with your stinging acid eaten finger stubs, if you don't eat the skins as well, it's like cutting the crusts off your sandwhiches,  like  you would for a little six year old girl, or a toothless old crone. Skins and all, or GTFO! When I've finished my Oranges, (only another 8 to go) I'm going to eat a sack of potatoes, just to fill up on before going out and eating the whole fucking Orange tree. I have such perfect peristaltic rythym, that I can push out the exact same amount that goes in, as I'm eating, so blow that out of your namby pamby citric scalded arseholes, you bunch of fucking bumgrapes! W00t w00t, Peelers!   :fap:  :fap:  :fap: 
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 23, 2010, 12:41:59 am
 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 23, 2010, 12:46:03 am
How does it feel to be the Mother of a little half orange baby then Cram? Stings a bit, I bet!
Are you breastfeeding the little fella? With Boy's milk?    :oops:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 23, 2010, 01:33:18 am
HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU GUYS READING THIS? NEVER MIND THAT MY TOILET BOWL LOOKS LIKE A POST BP TROPICANA GROVESTAND. SOMEBODY IS FEEDING HORSESHIT DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES AND HIS NAME IS HORSESHITBEAST. ANY CRAMKNOB CAN GOON THE INTERNET AND GO HUR HUR HUR I ATE 157105 ORANGES. YOU'RE EITHER SO FULL OF SHIT THAT YOUR GRANDFATHER WITH POLIO IS GOING TO STAB YOU WITH A PITCH FORK, OR YOU'RE MISTAKING CLEMENTINES FOR ME GIVING A SHIT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY SO CRAM IT UP YOUR NIMROD AND FIRE BLANKS INTO A BULLETPROOF SHIT PARADE CAUSE YOU'RE SURE AS FUCK NOT POPPING OUT A BABY AND MAKING ME A CRAMMA

AS A POST SCRIPTUM, I HAVE BEEN EATING ORANGES THE SIZE OF BEACH BALLS WHILE I SPEEDBAG YOUR NUTS

AS A POST POST SCRIPTUM, WHO GIVES A FUCK
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 23, 2010, 01:41:43 am
AHHHHHHHHHH I'M ALL WHIPPED UP INTO A FRENZY

I'M GOING TO THE CORNER STORE
AND BUYING ORANGES
AND THEN I'M COMING BACK TO PUNCH OUT MY MONITOR



YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, FELCH MASTERS
                                                         \
(http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a95/discordman/forumspecific/WATCHITBUDDYMOUSTACHE.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 23, 2010, 01:46:28 am
IT WAS FUCKING POURING BUT LUCKILY I WAS YELLING
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 23, 2010, 01:47:19 am
At least I managed to retain bowel control. (Important)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on June 23, 2010, 02:24:08 am
I am so fucking annoyed that I had ZERO opportunity to buy any oranges today! FUCK not having a car.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Pæs on June 23, 2010, 02:34:41 am
I am so fucking annoyed that I had ZERO opportunity to buy any oranges today! FUCK not having a car.
I came home with a bag of motherfucking kiwifruit and sat down to read this.
FUUUUUUUUU-
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 23, 2010, 02:36:29 am
At least I managed to retain bowel control. (Important)

Not important.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 23, 2010, 03:27:20 am
I shat liquid before I began my radio show. I have beer now. This can only end in tears.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 23, 2010, 03:51:15 am
UGHHH

nine


DONE FOR THE DAY
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 23, 2010, 04:15:19 am
11 here.

Had 2 more after dinner.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 23, 2010, 05:49:30 am
 :lulz:   pussies.

We can clear a tree in a day here. I fucking love oranges. Too bad it isn't orange season or I would have

SHAMED YOUR SORRY DICKBUTTS WITH MY CITRUS SUCKING PROWESS! I AM FLORIDA! I AM ORANGE, YOU LILY BOWELED COCKSLAPPERS!
YOUR SIMPERING ABOUT YOUR PUSSY ASS LITTLE TUMMY ACHES MAKE ME LAUGH!



but you know, i had to like, work and shit today so i couldn't join you guys. cause my hands are full at work. so i don't really have a good chance to

pwn your sorry asses
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 23, 2010, 07:42:39 am
TWELVE

SHIT FUCK DAMN I WANT TO POOP

GOODNIGHT.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 23, 2010, 08:41:38 am
At least I managed to retain bowel control. (Important)

Not important.
It is to me. (Although I have a rather watery stool myself this morning) Woken by gut cramps, rather than shit the bed, I crawled off to squirt half my bodywieght into the shitpot. Got a feeling it's not over yet too.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: bds on June 23, 2010, 10:41:14 am
My tiny bowels have virtually incapacitated me. I have to go jobhunting today, and it's not going to end well...

"Hey, do you have *farrrtt* any *parrrrp* vacancies in the store at the *pfffft* moment?"

"... SECURITY"
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on June 23, 2010, 10:46:56 am
Oh. My. Fucking. God.



It started out
                     as a fart.



and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.


I can't believe it ---



  --- I actually just crapped my pants!


              --- at work











on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!

:potd:

(actually, this ENTIRE THREAD and all those who participated)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 23, 2010, 12:45:27 pm
I woke up to orange poomp.



...and I have to work this morning.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on June 23, 2010, 01:08:08 pm
This is the most important thread PD.com has ever produced.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 23, 2010, 01:20:42 pm
Certainly the most productive. (The 'product' being liquified human gut contents) There is a great big steaming pile of human shit in the world now, with "Result of Discordian Sciences" written all over it.
Recognition for this mighty deed cannot be far away.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 23, 2010, 02:42:28 pm
YESTERDAY: I CRAPPED MY PANCE FOR SCIENCE
TODAY: I AM BEGINNING MY NEW "NO ORANGE" DIET

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 23, 2010, 02:50:44 pm
Wewll, I did hear somewhere that Oranges are not the only fruit.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on June 23, 2010, 03:56:19 pm
GUESS WHAT GUYS I HAD TWO MOTHERFUCKING GLASSES OF ORANGE JUICE WITH BREAKFAST THIS MORNING THAT'S RIGHT IT'S ON COCKKNOCKING GRANNYFARTS! IMMA OPEN A CAN OF TROPICANA ON YOUR CAUTERIZED ASSHOLES AND WHEN I'M DONE YOU'RE GONNA BE SO DAMN BEAT THAT YO UNCLE GON SELL YOU TO A TWELVE-ARMED CENTAUR ORANGUTAN AND SHIT ROCKS ON YOUR FACE WITH A GLOBE WHILE CRYING AND PISSING HIMSELF IN SHAME
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 23, 2010, 04:00:36 pm
GUESS WHAT GUYS I HAD TWO MOTHERFUCKING GLASSES OF ORANGE JUICE WITH BREAKFAST THIS MORNING THAT'S RIGHT IT'S ON COCKKNOCKING GRANNYFARTS! IMMA OPEN A CAN OF TROPICANA ON YOUR CAUTERIZED ASSHOLES AND WHEN I'M DONE YOU'RE GONNA BE SO DAMN BEAT THAT YO UNCLE GON SELL YOU TO A TWELVE-ARMED CENTAUR ORANGUTAN AND SHIT ROCKS ON YOUR FACE WITH A GLOBE WHILE CRYING AND PISSING HIMSELF IN SHAME

I think the oranges need to be eaten rather than imbibed.
Also, how large of a glass?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on June 23, 2010, 04:02:44 pm
GUESS WHAT GUYS I HAD TWO MOTHERFUCKING GLASSES OF ORANGE JUICE WITH BREAKFAST THIS MORNING THAT'S RIGHT IT'S ON COCKKNOCKING GRANNYFARTS! IMMA OPEN A CAN OF TROPICANA ON YOUR CAUTERIZED ASSHOLES AND WHEN I'M DONE YOU'RE GONNA BE SO DAMN BEAT THAT YO UNCLE GON SELL YOU TO A TWELVE-ARMED CENTAUR ORANGUTAN AND SHIT ROCKS ON YOUR FACE WITH A GLOBE WHILE CRYING AND PISSING HIMSELF IN SHAME

I think the oranges need to be eaten rather than imbibed.
Also, how large of a glass?

(http://foodmapper.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/orange-juice.png)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 23, 2010, 04:09:59 pm
What's the pulp content like?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 23, 2010, 04:24:30 pm
how many did you eat yesterday, badbeast? 14?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 23, 2010, 04:40:14 pm
Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on June 23, 2010, 04:44:04 pm
What's the pulp content like?

Low pulp, I admit. But I had an actual orange just now.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 23, 2010, 05:12:00 pm
THIS THREAD AMG I AM AT WORK AND WILL DIE LAUGHING

I am getting a bag of oranges and bringing them home. I once ate half a large grocery bag full of satsumas in a day. Any citrus from then on tasted metallic and bitter until the lining in my mouth (and stomach) had a chance to heal. Good golly miss molly I shat like a flaming crude hurricane.

Get ready for GLORIOUS BATTLE once I'm safe at home with my materials. By materials I mean oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 23, 2010, 05:13:05 pm
What's the pulp content like?

Low pulp, I admit. But I had an actual orange just now.

Yeah, I think you'd need actual oranges. Low-pulp OJ isn't going to test your intestinal fortitude on a level that Cram had to deal with.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 23, 2010, 05:14:27 pm
THIS THREAD AMG I AM AT WORK AND WILL DIE LAUGHING

I am getting a bag of oranges and bringing them home. I once ate half a large grocery bag full of satsumas in a day. Any citrus from then on tasted metallic and bitter until the lining in my mouth (and stomach) had a chance to heal. Good golly miss molly I shat like a flaming crude hurricane.

Get ready for GLORIOUS BATTLE once I'm safe at home with my materials. By materials I mean oranges.

Nigels the one to beat number wise
Cram is the one to beat results wise
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 23, 2010, 05:22:53 pm
How many did Nigel get down? I'm not going to skip lunch, but I've been eating a lot of heavy food recently (spaghetti sauce and sushi mmm) so a citric acid reverse-enema may be a good idea.

Good idea. Yeah.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 23, 2010, 05:25:07 pm
How many did Nigel get down? I'm not going to skip lunch, but I've been eating a lot of heavy food recently (spaghetti sauce and sushi mmm) so a citric acid reverse-enema may be a good idea.

Good idea. Yeah.

She polished off 12, and I think she stopped there only to top Suu's 11.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 23, 2010, 06:44:06 pm
Well, looks like I have my work cut out for me. Thirteen oranges, one sitting, infinite possibilities! I shall bring a change of clothes to work tomorrow, provided I actually go through with this. It will be embarrasing, but tonight there will be great citric justice.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on June 23, 2010, 06:47:04 pm
Pics or it didn't happen.











I can't believe this is the first time in the thread this has been requested.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 23, 2010, 06:50:34 pm
Oh it will. Soon as I remember how to post teh pics on that thar Photobucket contraption and then use that dadgum HTML thingamajig to slap em on here.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 23, 2010, 06:53:13 pm
Oh it will. Soon as I remember how to post teh pics on that thar Photobucket contraption and then use that dadgum HTML thingamajig to slap em on here.

pretty easy. Click the button below the italics.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 23, 2010, 07:16:44 pm
Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!


Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!

Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Elder Iptuous on June 23, 2010, 07:23:54 pm
but, you actually did give birth to a 'Little Orange', right?...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 23, 2010, 07:25:30 pm
Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!


Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!

Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.


Why would you do that? lol

I eat an orange on average, every 6 months.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 23, 2010, 07:39:42 pm
Satsumas are smaller and sweeter than oranges, more concentrated if you will. Everything I ate tasted like blood and zinc after about ten of those.

Thirteen oranges... phew. JUST TRY AND STOP ME YOU SICK SONS OF BITCHES ITS GOING DOWN TONIGHT!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 23, 2010, 07:39:58 pm
Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!


Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!

Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
If I had 22 Oranges, then I would have done it with them, and still not broken a sweat.  Or soiled myself.
And  if I had, I would never have come straight out with it. 
"Hey everyone, you'll never guess what happened to me at work today!"
"Go on, . . . have a guess!"

 (10lbs, 40 tangerines? I think you must mean Clementines, or maybe Kumqats. Or perhaps  10oz) 
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 23, 2010, 07:41:28 pm
What's the pulp content like?

Low pulp, I admit. But I had an actual orange just now.

Yeah, I think you'd need actual oranges. Low-pulp OJ isn't going to test your intestinal fortitude on a level that Cram had to deal with.

OJ doesn't count! At all.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on June 23, 2010, 07:45:11 pm
I am torn between being really glad I didn't see this and going to buy a dozen oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 23, 2010, 07:46:58 pm
Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!


Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!

Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
If I had 22 Oranges, then I would have done it with them, and still not broken a sweat.  Or soiled myself.
And  if I had, I would never have come straight out with it. 
"Hey everyone, you'll never guess what happened to me at work today!"
"Go on, . . . have a guess!"

 (10lbs, 40 tangerines? I think you must mean Clementines, or maybe Kumqats. Or perhaps  10oz) 

Clementines ARE tangerines, motherfucker! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangerine
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 23, 2010, 07:47:34 pm
but, you actually did give birth to a 'Little Orange', right?...


Yes. And her middle name is Clementine for a reason. :)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 23, 2010, 07:49:13 pm
Oh, and my 12 oranges weighed in at 8 lbs total. Tangerines are easier to eat a lot of because they have more juice and less fiber by weight, so you don't feel so full.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 23, 2010, 07:56:00 pm
The incoherent shouting in this thread reminds me of a chat we had last year...

15:11 [000]: CHOLERA SPRAY HOSE
15:26 Malachite: ANAL CUNT
15:27 Atrum_Monachus: FROZEN DICKVOMIT SANDWICH
15:40 Cain: Zyklon B fucknipple
15:47 Atrum_Monachus: You should nEver freeze one of those.
16:06 Atrum_Monachus: RUins the texture.
16:34 D-Squid: That's what makes it offensive.
16:38 Malachite: VOMITING JOSEF MENGELE DICKS
18:07 Atrum_Monachus: DRIPPING L RON HUBBARD ANAL LEAKAGE FART SAUCE TOMATO NIPPLE.
19:02 Malachite: (????)? Butts.
27:52 [000]: jewish glandular infection
32:12 Eve: my back won't stop twitching. :\
36:00 Lilith_Complex: Oh GODS if this headache gets any worse I'm going to start shooting morphine into my eyeball.
39:58 [000]: I HAVE CRAMMED FROM CRUSTY ANAL PAPERCUT LUNCH MUNCH MOUTH GURGLE GAG PLUMBING FECAL SUFFOCATION
40:24 [000]: (CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SMELL)
45:28 Cramulus: ANAL?
49:54 [000]: ANAL!
50:02 Atrum_Monachus: FIST
51:51 [000]: (FESTERING PUSS MAGGOT ITCH GANGRENE SUSPENSION)
52:24 Cramulus: Dong piss monkey scab twat waffle
52:41 Cramulus: dicks, dicks.... dicks and pus.
53:27 Cramulus: ballsweat tube tubesock lube cockamamey turd potato
54:43 [000]: PERIODICAL OCULAR RUSTY NAIL INSERTION
55:16 Cramulus: MINNIE MOUSE HOT POTATO PICK A BLOUSE WINNABAGO
02:38 [000]: (PERPETUAL PENIS PERFORATOR)
04:49 Cramulus: dicks dicks dicks twatnugget ball day
10:16 Payne: STFU, TRIP
10:20 Payne: I WILL END YOU
10:28 The Dark Monk: THEN START YOU AGAIN
10:31 The Dark Monk: WITH HIS PENIS.
10:43 Harlequin: I love it when he does that
10:44 Payne: MY PENIS HAS MUCH TORQUE
10:49 Payne: IT COULD BE DONE
16:07 Cramulus: WHY IF IT ISN'T A JIZZPARTY IN HERE
16:09 [000]: SCAT SCOOPING SCAB CHEWING CHAFED PRICKLY POTATOE PEELER PECK PECK PECK PECK PAIN
16:35 Cramulus: DICKS BALLS INSIPID CUM JUGGLER
16:41 Payne: CRAM
16:44 Payne: LET'S DUEL
16:49 Cramulus: UR ON
16:50 Eve: CRAM
16:53 Cramulus: Eve
16:58 Payne: I ROLL 18 on a D20
17:01 Malachite: OH GOD ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO IRCRP
17:06 Malachite: IT'S WORSE THAN LARPING
17:18 Cramulus: I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD DILDO
17:32 Payne: I DON MY MOTHERFUCKIN MESSIAH GEAR
17:41 Cramulus: MONKEY PISS ANAL SCAB DICK SHIT DICK PARADE DICK DICK GRANDMA DICK
17:44 Payne: PWNED
17:56 Payne: DIE
18:04 Cramulus: I TAKE OFFENSE AT YOUR VIBRATING THROAT MUSCLES TRYING TO SEDUCE ME WITH THEIR CUM CHARM
18:05 Payne: [19:17] <@Payne> I ROLL 18 on a D20
18:18 Cramulus: INCONTINENT DICK WOBBLERS
18:31 Payne: CRAM, I RAM MY GOLF CLUB DOON YER THROAT
18:34 Cramulus: JAM IT IN YOUR HOCKEY MASK
18:37 Payne: SPAG
18:44 Cramulus: AND BY THAT I MEAN YOUR LUKEWARM CUM CARAVAN
18:46 [000]: I ROLE NINE D20S!!!!!!!!!
18:46 Payne: A'LL PIT YER HEID IN
18:52 Cramulus: I ROLL BLUNTS
19:00 [000]: FUCK YOU CRAM THATS HOW I ROLL
19:12 Cramulus: I TAKE YOUR PENIS AND WOBBLE IT
19:24 [000]: I CAST LEveL 27 SCROTAL DANDRUFF
19:41 [000]: ROLL A WILLY SAVE
19:46 Cramulus: LISTEN YOU ANAL MORMONS I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOUR CANINE PENIS CHICANERY
19:55 Cramulus: HAIL DICKS
20:11 Cramulus: DICK CUNT SCALLIWAG PISS TURBAN ASS BRAIN DICK REAR ASSULT MUCUS MEMBRANE
20:12 Payne: CRAM, IF I HAD WD40, I'D TOTALLY GREASE YOU UP, MOTHERFUCKER
20:24 Cramulus: IF I HAD 2D10 I'D ROLL PERCENTILE UP YOUR ASS
20:29 Payne: FEEL THE Payne
21:04 Cramulus: FEEL THIS YOU JIZZ COW: MY COCK VEIN RESONATING WITH YOUR COLON CANER AND I RAM MY OVIPOSITOR INTO YOUR BELLY BUTTON
21:12 Cramulus: BA-BAM
21:33 Cramulus: BEHIND YOUR BACK ALL YOUR RELATIVES CALL YOU ANAL PIE
21:39 Cramulus has changed the topic to: SWEARING
22:01 Cramulus: I SHIT COCKS THAT PISS BALS
22:38 Payne: CRAMULOID, IF ONLY I HAD EARLY 20th CENTURY DOCTORS WHO WOULD LANCE YOUR SORRY ASS
22:39 [000]: YOUR PRESUMPTUOUS PRENATAL PRANCING PROTO POOP POSES POOR PRACTICAL PUNISHMENT\
23:25 Cramulus: DICK LORDS: STOP JIZZING FOR TEN SECONDS AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE A SHITBRICK SHORT OF AN ASS FULL OF SHINOLA
24:14 [000]: THE PUSS--THAT INFECTS THE MUCUS--THAT CRUDS UP THE FUNGUS--THAT FEEDS ON THE POND SCUM
24:40 Payne: CRAM COPULATES COPIOUS CUNTS, CANING CANINE CRAP COLLISEUMS. CORPULENCE CARES CEASELESSLY.
24:43 Cramulus: I'M GOING TO POUR AN ENTIRE GALLON OF CANOLA OIL INTO YOUR MOTHER'S BEDROOM AND TELL HER IT'S YOUR DAD'S GOLDEN WINE. SURE ENOUGH, SHE STARTS LICKING IT UP LIKE A CRACK PIPE ON PROM NIGHT
25:24 Payne: "[19:25] <+Cramulus> I'M GOING TO POUR AN ENTIRE GALLON OF CANOLA OIL INTO YOURMOTHER'S BEDROOM AND TELL HER IT'S YOUR DAD'S GOLDEN WINE. SURE ENOUGH, SHE STARTS LICKING IT UP LIKE A CRACK PIPE ON PROM NIGHT" :POTD:
25:33 Cramulus: MY NEIGHBOR HASN'T SEEN SO MUCH DICK TAR SINCE THE SPERM FLOOD OF 89
26:18 Cramulus: HE SAID, WOAH NELLY, I'M GOING TO BLOW SHIT OUT OF MY MOUTH SO HARD IT'LL GIVE YOUR KIDS A CONCUSSION
26:37 Cramulus: WHERE IN FACT, IT'LL GIVE YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE A CONCUSSION. DO NOT FUCK WITH ME.
27:22 [000]: DICK TAR ANT HONEY FIRE BURNING STINGING ITCH LICE PENIS
27:40 Cramulus: LISTEN YOU INSIPID JIZZ PANDA I'VE HAD ENOUGH PISS TALK FROM YOUR RECTAL COLLEGE AND SIMPERING TURD BAGEL FRIENDS. SO INSTEAD OF PISSING OFF, WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING SIT IN IT AND COPULATE?
28:30 Cramulus: I'M TEN TIMES THE PISS PIRATE YOU COULD EveR BE, AND THREE TIMES THE DICKS. I CAN'T EveN LOOK AT THIS SHIT ANYMORE, THE STINK WAVES ARE GETTING IN THE WAY OF ME SHITTING LIQUID SCABS ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL REPORT CARD
28:33 Cramulus: WHAT
28:50 Cramulus: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT YOU PECKISH ANAL LEPRECHAUN?
28:59 Cramulus: LISTEN I'VE SEEN WILLOW AND YOU SUCKED ASS IN IT
29:34 Cramulus: I'LL CALL YOU - A THROAT GOBBLER. TO YOUR FACE!
29:38 Cramulus: SIT ON IT
29:40 Cramulus: IN FACT
29:44 Cramulus: SHIT ON IT
29:50 Payne: CRAM
30:05 Payne: WHEN I MEET YOU, EXPECT A BOTTLE OF VODKA IN THE FACE
30:06 Cramulus: SHIT FUCK DAMN
30:17 Payne: ARSE RAIDING MUNCHEN
30:43 Cramulus: WHEN I VODKA YOU, EXPECT TO CHOKE ON YOUR OWN SHIT LIKE AN ANAL TODDLER WITH NO FUCKING CLUE HOW HE GOT BOTH HIS FISTS LODGED IN YOUR PUSTULOUS ASS
30:43 Payne: I HATE YOU SO HARD, THE WHITES OF MY EYES ARE PINK FROM BURST BLOOD VESSELS
31:03 Payne: CRAM, I'LL ASS FUCK YOU, WITH MY WHOLE LEG
31:15 Payne: WITHOUT LUBE
31:16 Idem: GUYS THIS IS A BUSINESS MEETING
31:23 Idem: KEEP IT DOWN
31:24 Cramulus: I HATE YOU LIKE A CHILD HATES GETTING PISTOL WHIPPED IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CHURCH BUT THAT'LL TEACH HIM A LESSON FOR TALKING SHIT IN THE HOUSE OF THE LOUUURRRDE
31:29 Payne: CAUSE THATS HOW I ENJOY MY ASS FUCKIN
31:54 Cramulus: IF YOU'LL QUIT GARGLING JIZZ FOR JUST A FUCKING SECOND YOU'LL SEE THAT YOU ARE DAMAGING MY SELF ESTEEM
32:00 Payne: FUCK YOUR LORD CRAM, HE CRIED WHEN I INSERTED MY GREAT WHITE PALADIN INTO HIS ANUS
32:31 Payne: HE SHOUTED THIS IS MY BODY THIS IS MY BLOOD, BUT I JUST LAUGHED
32:36 Cramulus: THERE AREN'T FONT TAGS BIG ENOUGH TO CONTAIN YOUR PREGNANT ASS
32:51 Idem: FUCK YOU BOTH
32:58 Cramulus: I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY THAT ROTUND OR YOUR LEGS ARE PREGNANT
33:10 Payne: CRAM, THERE AREN'T ANY PROGRAMS THAT YOU COULD RECOMEND THAT WOULD CONTAIN YOUR EGO
33:20 Payne: STUCK UP EGOTISTIC MOTHERFUCKER
33:29 Cramulus: IN EITHER CASE, LET ME RECCOMMEND AN ABORTION DOCTOR: MY FIST, A COAT HANGER, AND A BOTTLE OF VODKA. WE'LL MAKE A ROMANTIC EveNING OUT OF IT
33:30 Payne: I LIKE ANAKIN SKYWALKER MORE THAN YOU
34:09 Payne: FUCK CRAM, MAKE THAT WHICKEY, AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A FRIDAY NIGHT OUT IN SUACHIEHALL
34:15 Cramulus: I'D RATHER DIE IN A BURNING BUS WRECK WHERE ALL THE OTHER PASSENGERS ARE CLONES OF THE HOMELESS GUY WHO KEEPS EYE FUCKING ME THAN SPEND ONE MORE GODDAMN SECOND SMELLING YOUR LOUSY CUNT
34:46 Payne: CRAM, I SHAT OUT A MASSIVE LOG OF FECAL MATTER TODAY, IT HAD YOUR FACE
34:48 Cramulus: YOU'RE LIKE THE JIZZ PARADE,  BUT INSTEAD OF CELEBRATING, EveRYBODY GETS AIDS
35:00 Payne: SO I SET IT ON FIRE BEFORE I FLUSHED
35:08 Cramulus: I'M GONNA BREAK MY FIST OFF IN YOUR COLON
35:20 Payne: FUCK YEA, SUCKER PUNCH THOSE WORMS
35:31 Payne: CHRIST KNOWS I NEED IT
35:52 Cramulus: IN FACT, I'M GONNA GET A PET TAPE WORM AND NAME IT STUPID PIECE OF CUM-SHIT BECAUSE THEY REMIND ME OF YOU
36:49 Cramulus: YOU THINK I'M NOT SERIOUS? I WILL PERSONALLY CLIMB DOWN OFF THIS BUILDING AND STRETCH YOUR JAWS AROUND YOUR OWN ASS AND MAKE YOU TAKE A DUMP RIGHT INTO YOUR EYE SOCKETS
36:50 Payne: CRAM, I MEASURED THE DISTANCE TO THE PUB IN CRAMS, EXCEPT IN THE VERNACULAR I CALLED THEM DISTANCES BETWEEN TIGHTLY COILED PILES OF COG SHIT
37:51 Cramulus: THE OTHER DAY I OPENED MY FRONT DOOR AND I WAS LIKE "OH HEY DUDE" BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A QUIVERING BOWL OF DOG SNOT THAT SOMEBODY HAD HEATED UP IN A MICROWAVE UNTIL IT STARTED TO SING SHOWTUNES AND CRAP PISS ALL OVER YOUR GODDAMN LAWN
37:59 Cramulus: IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE
38:14 Cramulus: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT SWEAR FOR ELEveN MINUTES NOWWWWWWW
39:43 Cramulus: SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL POUR RAZORS INTO YOUR SHIT AND TELL CHILDREN THAT IT IS A DELICIOUS SURPRISE, THEN SUE YOU
40:46 Harlequin: DON'T MAKE ME FUCKING COME DOWN AND SHOVE COAXIAL SOUND CABLES INTO YOUR ASS AND THEN PLAY AC/DC SO FUCKING LOUD YOUR FUCKING ANUS WILL STAR DANCING AND EJECT ALL THE FUCKING SHIT THAT YOU'VE BEEN HOARDING FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS AND NINE MONTHS AND THREE DAYS AND FORTY-FIVE SECONDS
41:56 Cramulus: JESUS CHRIST I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SIMPERING SHITTALK PISSBALLS
42:19 Cramulus: I'M RELOADING RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTER FUCKING PUT ON A HELMET AND TAKE A SHIT
42:26 Cainad: FOUL LANGUAGE
42:36 Malachite: <+Cramulus> SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL POUR RAZORS INTO YOUR SHIT AND TELL CHILDREN THAT IT IS A DELICIOUS SURPRISE, THEN SUE YOU <--- this is the best insult/threat I have heard in a while
43:05 Harlequin: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BACK DOWN MOTHER FUCKER OR I'LL ROLL UP NEW SCIENTIST AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH SCIENCE EXCEPT IT WILL BE SCIENCE COVERED IN YOUR OWN BLOOD AND VOMIT AND SHIT
43:13 Cramulus: WHAT
43:41 Cramulus: I WILL WRAP YOU HEAD TO TOE IN DUCT TAPE AND PUT SNAKES IN YOUR INTESTINES THAT EAT YOUR SHIT SO WHEN YOU SHIT YOU SHIT SNAKES FULL OF SHIT
44:09 Harlequin: Well I find that just in bad taste
44:20 Cramulus: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
44:30 Cainad: ALL OF YOU NEED TO SHUT THE SLIMY DOLPHIN BALLS UP BEFORE I FORCE CANDIRU FISH INTO EveRY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR ORIFICES AND LIGHT YOUR FACE ON FIRE
45:08 Cramulus: YOU'RE A SODA DRINKING DANDRUFF SORTER WITH A BLACKLIGHT SENSITIVE ANAL BRAIN WITH ASS CHEEKS FOR LOBES
46:01 Cramulus: I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE OF YOUR INTRACTABLE MENTAL JIZZ OLYMPICS
46:47 Cramulus: BUT IN THE MEANTIME I AWARD YOU THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR BEING A SPECIAL-ED PISS POLYP
46:52 Cainad: YEAH WELL YOU'RE A SIDEWALK-SNIFFING ALCOHOLIC WITH PHILOSOPHICAL CONSTIPATION
47:20 Harlequin: YOUR SPAGMOSEXUAL ANTICS MAKE FUCKING RETARDED CROMAGNONS LOOK LIKE FREAKING UNIVERSITY GRADUATES FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF AWESOME-VILL THAT HAS A POLICY OF FUCKIGN ABORTING COCK-SUCKERS LIKE YOU IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER
48:01 Cainad: ALSO YOU DISGUST ME WITH YOUR DETRITUS-BASED ANAL PLAY DURING THE FUNERAL'S OF BELOVED GRANDMOTHERS
48:16 Cainad: FUNERALS, EveN
48:53 Cramulus: IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN FIRE OUT OF YOUR FACE-ASS? I'VE PISSED IN THE SNOW AND IT WAS A TONY-AWARD WINNING NOVELLA COMPARED WITH THE SORT OF GUTTERPUNK VERBAL CANCER YOU LEAK LIKE AN OVERRIPE PUSTULE FULL OF CUM
49:23 Harlequin: I SPY JIZZ-MONKEYS OFF THE STARBOARD BOW AND THEY'VE GOT YOUR FUCKING NAME ON THEM. AND THEY SHARE YOUR LEveL OF STUPIDITY HENCE WHY THEY APPLY A SINGLE NAME TO A THE BUNCH OF THEM BECAUSE THEY CAN'T DISTINGUISH BETWEEN SINGLUAR AND PLURAL BECAUSE THEY'RE THAT FUCKIGN RETARDED. LIKE YOU
49:37 Cramulus: JESUS
49:57 Cramulus: I NEED MORE COFFEE
50:58 Cainad: YOUR SUCH AN ARROGANT BUTTJUICE CHUGGER THAT YOU PROBABLY DON'T EveN NOTICE THAT YOUR PUS-FILLED EYEBALLS EXPLODED ALL OVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IN FACT YOU PROBABLY FED IT TO YOUR DOG AND THEN DROPPED IT OUR THE WINDOW YOU ZIT-JUGGLING FUCKFACE
51:13 FAAAARK: sup cuntnuggets
51:14 Cramulus: fuck
51:15 Cainad: AND CALLED IT "ART"
51:32 Idem: my favorite one was "THE OTHER DAY I OPENED MY FRONT DOOR AND I WAS LIKE "OH HEY DUDE" BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A QUIVERING BOWL OF DOG SNOT THAT SOMEBODY HAD HEATED UP IN A MICROWAVE UNTIL IT STARTED TO SING SHOWTUNES AND CRAP PISS ALL OVER YOUR GODDAMN LAWN"
51:47 Cramulus: SHIT COCK RECHARGING
52:05 Cainad: EAR JIZZ ANTICS
52:51 P3nt4gr4m: what I really wanted from this place was crystal meth and a blowjob but I'll settle for tourettes
52:59 Cramulus: JESUS IT'S FUCKING P3NT
53:33 Cramulus: THAT IS TO SAY - JESUS SOME TOTAL MORON HAS JACKED PENT'S ACCOUNT AND NOW HE'S SAYING THE DUMBEST SHIT AN IDIOT COULD IMAGINE
55:48 Cramulus: I'LL GIVE YOU WOOD. I'LL RAM MY COCKKNOB RIGHT IN YOUR EYE UNTIL YOU BURST INTO TEARS BUT INSTEAD OF TEARS ITS HIGHLY ACIDIC URINE THAT EATS YOUR FACE UNTIL YOU LOOK LIKE THE GUY FROM RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK AND SOME CUNT IS LIKE MOMMY MOMMY, DOES THAT MAN HAVE SOME SORT OF RENAL DEFECT? AND HER MOM WILL SAY NO SWEETHEART, HE'S JUST A FAT, JITTERY, LOATHSOME PIECE OF SHIT THAT CAN'T TELL HIS OWN FACE FROM A MOUNTAIN OF TODDLER TURDS THAT PEDOS
57:33 P3nt4gr4m: CRAM I RAMMED BOTH MY FISTS AND HALF MY FOOT IN YOUR MOMS ASSHOLE LAST NIGHT AND THEN SPENT SO LONG TRYING TO WORK OUT WHICH HOLE WAS WHICH SHE UNLOADED THE MOTHER OF ALL FOLLOW THROUGHS RIGHT IN MY FACE.
57:41 P3nt4gr4m: i GOT CHARGED EXTRA FOR THAT
57:41 Cramulus: ANAL SWEAT SHIT DICKS FUCK SHIT URINE PISS FUCK DRIPPINGS RUNNING DOWN YOUR FACE SMELLS LIKE SOME KIND OF ANAL RACE
59:16 P3nt4gr4m: BABY ASS RAPE
59:25 Cramulus: IT TOOK ME 18 MONTHS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT UP WITH YOUR VERBAL AIDS YOU DICK TURBAN
59:28 ***Cramulus breathing heavily
59:37 Cramulus: can't.... stop... fuck....
00:17 P3nt4gr4m: WHY NOT TRY FUCKING YOURSELF IN THE WINDPIPE WITH A LENGTH OF ROTTING HORSE COCK
01:00 Cramulus: HOW ABOUT YOU EAT A WHOLE CANOE FULL OF MORMON MEN ALL JACKING EACH OTHER OFF
01:15 P3nt4gr4m: POUR SOME BLEACH DOWN IT TO SIMULATE SPOOGE
01:43 Cramulus: HOW ABOUT YOU DIE TEN TIMES IN A ROW AND THEN I'LL FIST YOUR WIFE ON YOUR GRAVE
01:46 Cramulus: AND SHE'LL SHIT
02:11 P3nt4gr4m: SUPERGLUE YOUR EYES TO A BABIES NIPPLES THEN JERK YOUR HEAD BACK AND SEE WHICH COMES OFF FIRST
02:24 Astantia: whoa
02:29 P3nt4gr4m: SRSLY
02:42 Cramulus: FIRST YOU FIGURE THIS OUT: WHAT HAS MORE KNUCKLES - YOUR MOM'S HAIRY ASS FEET, OR YOUR COLON WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU?
02:57 Cainad: I THINK YOU REALLY OUGHT TO SLIDE BARE-ASSED DOWN A PALM TREE COVERED IN FERRET LYMPH NODES SO THAT I CAN THEN REMOVE YOUR DESTROYED ANUS AND SELL IT ON EBAY SO THEN I'LL HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY AN ELECTRIC EEL TO SHOVE UP YOUR URETHRA
02:58 Cramulus: HINT: YOUR MOTHER LOST A FOOT TO DIABETES AND IS A SMELLY CUNT
03:17 P3nt4gr4m: MY MOMS ASS DOESN'T HAVE FEET - THAT'S YOUR INBRED FUCKING SIUSTER YOURE THINKING ABOUT
03:23 Cramulus: SHIT
03:54 Cramulus: MY INBRED SISTER IS A SAINT AND YOU'RE A CARTOON CHARACTER DOING HARD TIME FOR DICKS
04:35 P3nt4gr4m: ONE MOAR REMARK THAT THAT AND i'LL GIVE YOU A CHAINSAW ENEMA THEN FILL THE CARNAGE FULL OF SEMOLINA AND GET A RETARD TO LICK IT OUT
04:45 Cainad: YOUR INBRED SISTER EATS PASTRIES MADE OUT OF SCROTUMS
05:07 P3nt4gr4m: YOUR INBRED SISTER EATS ANYONE WHO GIVES HER A COOKIE
06:23 P3nt4gr4m: TALK ABOUT BEATING AROUND THE BUSH
06:41 P3nt4gr4m: JUST WHAT THE FUCK EXACTLY YOU TRYING TO SAY THERE JIZZGARGLER?
06:57 Cramulus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
06:59 Cramulus: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE
07:15 Cramulus: YOU'RE SUCH A STUPID NIPPLEDICK IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY BLOOD OUT OF MY ASS
07:33 Cramulus: OR JIZZ TEARS OF SORROW INTO THAT DISGUSTING CRAP YOU MADE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT
07:37 Cramulus: EITHER WAY, FUCK YOU
08:14 P3nt4gr4m: YOU MAKE ME WANT TO DONKEYPUNCH MY OWN GRANDMA TILL HER HAIR FALLS OUT THEN MAKE A DILDO OUT OF THE HAIR AND SET FIRE TO IT BEFORE RAMMING IT UP YOUR URETHRA
09:20 P3nt4gr4m: HOLY FUCK
09:33 P3nt4gr4m: ARE YOU HAVING SOME KINDA EMBOLISM OR SOMETHING?
10:01 Cramulus: I DON'T KNOW!!!
10:16 Cramulus: THIS IS KILLLLLLLLLING MEEEEEEEE
10:30 Cramulus: IT SEEMS I CAN'T STOP SWEARING
10:41 Cramulus: EveRY TIME I THINK IT'S GOING TO END, I READ SOMETHING YOU SAID AND IT SETS ME OFF AGAIN
11:04 P3nt4gr4m: COS i'M SETTING UP A WESITE WHERE WE INDUCE EMBOLISMS IN VISRGINS, JUST AT THE POINT OF THEIR FIRST ORGASM AND THEN FILM WEASELS, LICKING THE BLOOD OUT THE EARS BEFORE WE FUCK THE WEASELS SO HARD THEY SPLODEY THEN WE RUB THE BITS INTO THE DEAD VIRGIN'S ASSHOLE AAND SET FIRE TO IT
11:13 P3nt4gr4m: YOU ARE A VIRGIN RIGHT?
11:16 Cramulus: YOU'RE LIKE AN ENTIRE DAY-TRIP TO THE RETARD ZOO, BUT EveRYBODY'S A CLONE OF YOUR WORTHLESS JIZZ-SCULPTURE-FACE
11:24 Cramulus: SHIT
12:17 P3nt4gr4m: WE'RE CALLING THE SITE WWW.ARISTOCRATS.COM
13:00 P3nt4gr4m: ANYWAY - I JUST WANTED TO DROP BY TO SAY FUCK YUO
13:09 P3nt4gr4m: AND I DON'T MEAN THAT IN A NICE WAY
13:19 Cramulus: EAT DICKS X100
13:30 Cainad: CRAM YOUR COPROLALIA IS FUCKING INTOLERABLE. YOUR IMMATURE AND QUITE CLEARLY FURRY-EROTIC DESIRE TO PUKE YOUR MENTAL RENAL FAILURE IS A CANCER THAT GIVES EveRYONE UNDESCENDED TESTICLES
13:33 Cramulus: THIS IS ALL [000]
13:34 Cramulus: ALL HIS FAULT
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on June 23, 2010, 07:57:37 pm
Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!


Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!

Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
If I had 22 Oranges, then I would have done it with them, and still not broken a sweat.  Or soiled myself.
And  if I had, I would never have come straight out with it. 
"Hey everyone, you'll never guess what happened to me at work today!"
"Go on, . . . have a guess!"

 (10lbs, 40 tangerines? I think you must mean Clementines, or maybe Kumqats. Or perhaps  10oz) 

Clementines ARE tangerines, motherfucker! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangerine

Nope, they're a variant of the Mandarin Orange. It says so right there that they are a "popular alternative" to tangerines. :)

-Suu
[ / pedantic moment of the day]

Also...GOOD GOD MY BOWELS!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 23, 2010, 08:04:58 pm
Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!


Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!

Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
If I had 22 Oranges, then I would have done it with them, and still not broken a sweat.  Or soiled myself.
And  if I had, I would never have come straight out with it.  
"Hey everyone, you'll never guess what happened to me at work today!"
"Go on, . . . have a guess!"

 (10lbs, 40 tangerines? I think you must mean Clementines, or maybe Kumqats. Or perhaps  10oz)  

Clementines ARE tangerines, motherfucker! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangerine
Tangerines and Clementines are actually both variants of the Mandarin Orange, but seperate, and distinctly different. And Tangerines have been known to get bigger than Oranges too, so   :spluff:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangerine
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 23, 2010, 08:07:01 pm
Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!


Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!

Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.


Why would you do that? lol

I eat an orange on average, every 6 months.

I DID IT BECAUSE I WAS PREGNANT

AND I WANTED THEM REAL BAD!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 23, 2010, 08:10:08 pm
ALL I KNOW IS THAT I UPLOADED A GODDAMN TACO BELL MARGARITA INTO PORTLAND'S SEWER SYSTEM THIS MORNING

TAKE THAT, WILLAMETTE RIVER!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Richter on June 23, 2010, 08:10:44 pm
Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!


Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!

Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
If I had 22 Oranges, then I would have done it with them, and still not broken a sweat.  Or soiled myself.
And  if I had, I would never have come straight out with it. 
"Hey everyone, you'll never guess what happened to me at work today!"
"Go on, . . . have a guess!"

 (10lbs, 40 tangerines? I think you must mean Clementines, or maybe Kumqats. Or perhaps  10oz) 

Clementines ARE tangerines, motherfucker! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangerine

Nope, they're a variant of the Mandarin Orange. It says so right there that they are a "popular alternative" to tangerines. :)

-Suu
[ / pedantic moment of the day]

Also...GOOD GOD MY BOWELS!

So fall they who mock my vindaloo.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 23, 2010, 08:26:28 pm
That's worse than a whole episode of 'Sex in the City'!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 23, 2010, 08:27:39 pm
That's worse than a whole episode of 'Sex in the City'!

 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 23, 2010, 08:27:57 pm
The incoherent shouting in this thread reminds me of a chat we had last year...

15:11 [000]: CHOLERA SPRAY HOSE
15:26 Malachite: ANAL CUNT
15:27 Atrum_Monachus: FROZEN DICKVOMIT SANDWICH
15:40 Cain: Zyklon B fucknipple
15:47 Atrum_Monachus: You should nEver freeze one of those.
16:06 Atrum_Monachus: RUins the texture.
16:34 D-Squid: That's what makes it offensive.
16:38 Malachite: VOMITING JOSEF MENGELE DICKS
18:07 Atrum_Monachus: DRIPPING L RON HUBBARD ANAL LEAKAGE FART SAUCE TOMATO NIPPLE.
19:02 Malachite: (????)? Butts.
27:52 [000]: jewish glandular infection
32:12 Eve: my back won't stop twitching. :\
36:00 Lilith_Complex: Oh GODS if this headache gets any worse I'm going to start shooting morphine into my eyeball.
39:58 [000]: I HAVE CRAMMED FROM CRUSTY ANAL PAPERCUT LUNCH MUNCH MOUTH GURGLE GAG PLUMBING FECAL SUFFOCATION
40:24 [000]: (CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SMELL)
45:28 Cramulus: ANAL?
49:54 [000]: ANAL!
50:02 Atrum_Monachus: FIST
51:51 [000]: (FESTERING PUSS MAGGOT ITCH GANGRENE SUSPENSION)
52:24 Cramulus: Dong piss monkey scab twat waffle
52:41 Cramulus: dicks, dicks.... dicks and pus.
53:27 Cramulus: ballsweat tube tubesock lube cockamamey turd potato
54:43 [000]: PERIODICAL OCULAR RUSTY NAIL INSERTION
55:16 Cramulus: MINNIE MOUSE HOT POTATO PICK A BLOUSE WINNABAGO
02:38 [000]: (PERPETUAL PENIS PERFORATOR)
04:49 Cramulus: dicks dicks dicks twatnugget ball day
10:16 Payne: STFU, TRIP
10:20 Payne: I WILL END YOU
10:28 The Dark Monk: THEN START YOU AGAIN
10:31 The Dark Monk: WITH HIS PENIS.
10:43 Harlequin: I love it when he does that
10:44 Payne: MY PENIS HAS MUCH TORQUE
10:49 Payne: IT COULD BE DONE
16:07 Cramulus: WHY IF IT ISN'T A JIZZPARTY IN HERE
16:09 [000]: SCAT SCOOPING SCAB CHEWING CHAFED PRICKLY POTATOE PEELER PECK PECK PECK PECK PAIN
16:35 Cramulus: DICKS BALLS INSIPID CUM JUGGLER
16:41 Payne: CRAM
16:44 Payne: LET'S DUEL
16:49 Cramulus: UR ON
16:50 Eve: CRAM
16:53 Cramulus: Eve
16:58 Payne: I ROLL 18 on a D20
17:01 Malachite: OH GOD ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO IRCRP
17:06 Malachite: IT'S WORSE THAN LARPING
17:18 Cramulus: I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD DILDO
17:32 Payne: I DON MY MOTHERFUCKIN MESSIAH GEAR
17:41 Cramulus: MONKEY PISS ANAL SCAB DICK SHIT DICK PARADE DICK DICK GRANDMA DICK
17:44 Payne: PWNED
17:56 Payne: DIE
18:04 Cramulus: I TAKE OFFENSE AT YOUR VIBRATING THROAT MUSCLES TRYING TO SEDUCE ME WITH THEIR CUM CHARM
18:05 Payne: [19:17] <@Payne> I ROLL 18 on a D20
18:18 Cramulus: INCONTINENT DICK WOBBLERS
18:31 Payne: CRAM, I RAM MY GOLF CLUB DOON YER THROAT
18:34 Cramulus: JAM IT IN YOUR HOCKEY MASK
18:37 Payne: SPAG
18:44 Cramulus: AND BY THAT I MEAN YOUR LUKEWARM CUM CARAVAN
18:46 [000]: I ROLE NINE D20S!!!!!!!!!
18:46 Payne: A'LL PIT YER HEID IN
18:52 Cramulus: I ROLL BLUNTS
19:00 [000]: FUCK YOU CRAM THATS HOW I ROLL
19:12 Cramulus: I TAKE YOUR PENIS AND WOBBLE IT
19:24 [000]: I CAST LEveL 27 SCROTAL DANDRUFF
19:41 [000]: ROLL A WILLY SAVE
19:46 Cramulus: LISTEN YOU ANAL MORMONS I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOUR CANINE PENIS CHICANERY
19:55 Cramulus: HAIL DICKS
20:11 Cramulus: DICK CUNT SCALLIWAG PISS TURBAN ASS BRAIN DICK REAR ASSULT MUCUS MEMBRANE
20:12 Payne: CRAM, IF I HAD WD40, I'D TOTALLY GREASE YOU UP, MOTHERFUCKER
20:24 Cramulus: IF I HAD 2D10 I'D ROLL PERCENTILE UP YOUR ASS
20:29 Payne: FEEL THE Payne
21:04 Cramulus: FEEL THIS YOU JIZZ COW: MY COCK VEIN RESONATING WITH YOUR COLON CANER AND I RAM MY OVIPOSITOR INTO YOUR BELLY BUTTON
21:12 Cramulus: BA-BAM
21:33 Cramulus: BEHIND YOUR BACK ALL YOUR RELATIVES CALL YOU ANAL PIE
21:39 Cramulus has changed the topic to: SWEARING
22:01 Cramulus: I SHIT COCKS THAT PISS BALS
22:38 Payne: CRAMULOID, IF ONLY I HAD EARLY 20th CENTURY DOCTORS WHO WOULD LANCE YOUR SORRY ASS
22:39 [000]: YOUR PRESUMPTUOUS PRENATAL PRANCING PROTO POOP POSES POOR PRACTICAL PUNISHMENT\
23:25 Cramulus: DICK LORDS: STOP JIZZING FOR TEN SECONDS AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE A SHITBRICK SHORT OF AN ASS FULL OF SHINOLA
24:14 [000]: THE PUSS--THAT INFECTS THE MUCUS--THAT CRUDS UP THE FUNGUS--THAT FEEDS ON THE POND SCUM
24:40 Payne: CRAM COPULATES COPIOUS CUNTS, CANING CANINE CRAP COLLISEUMS. CORPULENCE CARES CEASELESSLY.
24:43 Cramulus: I'M GOING TO POUR AN ENTIRE GALLON OF CANOLA OIL INTO YOUR MOTHER'S BEDROOM AND TELL HER IT'S YOUR DAD'S GOLDEN WINE. SURE ENOUGH, SHE STARTS LICKING IT UP LIKE A CRACK PIPE ON PROM NIGHT
25:24 Payne: "[19:25] <+Cramulus> I'M GOING TO POUR AN ENTIRE GALLON OF CANOLA OIL INTO YOURMOTHER'S BEDROOM AND TELL HER IT'S YOUR DAD'S GOLDEN WINE. SURE ENOUGH, SHE STARTS LICKING IT UP LIKE A CRACK PIPE ON PROM NIGHT" :POTD:
25:33 Cramulus: MY NEIGHBOR HASN'T SEEN SO MUCH DICK TAR SINCE THE SPERM FLOOD OF 89
26:18 Cramulus: HE SAID, WOAH NELLY, I'M GOING TO BLOW SHIT OUT OF MY MOUTH SO HARD IT'LL GIVE YOUR KIDS A CONCUSSION
26:37 Cramulus: WHERE IN FACT, IT'LL GIVE YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE A CONCUSSION. DO NOT FUCK WITH ME.
27:22 [000]: DICK TAR ANT HONEY FIRE BURNING STINGING ITCH LICE PENIS
27:40 Cramulus: LISTEN YOU INSIPID JIZZ PANDA I'VE HAD ENOUGH PISS TALK FROM YOUR RECTAL COLLEGE AND SIMPERING TURD BAGEL FRIENDS. SO INSTEAD OF PISSING OFF, WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING SIT IN IT AND COPULATE?
28:30 Cramulus: I'M TEN TIMES THE PISS PIRATE YOU COULD EveR BE, AND THREE TIMES THE DICKS. I CAN'T EveN LOOK AT THIS SHIT ANYMORE, THE STINK WAVES ARE GETTING IN THE WAY OF ME SHITTING LIQUID SCABS ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL REPORT CARD
28:33 Cramulus: WHAT
28:50 Cramulus: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT YOU PECKISH ANAL LEPRECHAUN?
28:59 Cramulus: LISTEN I'VE SEEN WILLOW AND YOU SUCKED ASS IN IT
29:34 Cramulus: I'LL CALL YOU - A THROAT GOBBLER. TO YOUR FACE!
29:38 Cramulus: SIT ON IT
29:40 Cramulus: IN FACT
29:44 Cramulus: SHIT ON IT
29:50 Payne: CRAM
30:05 Payne: WHEN I MEET YOU, EXPECT A BOTTLE OF VODKA IN THE FACE
30:06 Cramulus: SHIT FUCK DAMN
30:17 Payne: ARSE RAIDING MUNCHEN
30:43 Cramulus: WHEN I VODKA YOU, EXPECT TO CHOKE ON YOUR OWN SHIT LIKE AN ANAL TODDLER WITH NO FUCKING CLUE HOW HE GOT BOTH HIS FISTS LODGED IN YOUR PUSTULOUS ASS
30:43 Payne: I HATE YOU SO HARD, THE WHITES OF MY EYES ARE PINK FROM BURST BLOOD VESSELS
31:03 Payne: CRAM, I'LL ASS FUCK YOU, WITH MY WHOLE LEG
31:15 Payne: WITHOUT LUBE
31:16 Idem: GUYS THIS IS A BUSINESS MEETING
31:23 Idem: KEEP IT DOWN
31:24 Cramulus: I HATE YOU LIKE A CHILD HATES GETTING PISTOL WHIPPED IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CHURCH BUT THAT'LL TEACH HIM A LESSON FOR TALKING SHIT IN THE HOUSE OF THE LOUUURRRDE
31:29 Payne: CAUSE THATS HOW I ENJOY MY ASS FUCKIN
31:54 Cramulus: IF YOU'LL QUIT GARGLING JIZZ FOR JUST A FUCKING SECOND YOU'LL SEE THAT YOU ARE DAMAGING MY SELF ESTEEM
32:00 Payne: FUCK YOUR LORD CRAM, HE CRIED WHEN I INSERTED MY GREAT WHITE PALADIN INTO HIS ANUS
32:31 Payne: HE SHOUTED THIS IS MY BODY THIS IS MY BLOOD, BUT I JUST LAUGHED
32:36 Cramulus: THERE AREN'T FONT TAGS BIG ENOUGH TO CONTAIN YOUR PREGNANT ASS
32:51 Idem: FUCK YOU BOTH
32:58 Cramulus: I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY THAT ROTUND OR YOUR LEGS ARE PREGNANT
33:10 Payne: CRAM, THERE AREN'T ANY PROGRAMS THAT YOU COULD RECOMEND THAT WOULD CONTAIN YOUR EGO
33:20 Payne: STUCK UP EGOTISTIC MOTHERFUCKER
33:29 Cramulus: IN EITHER CASE, LET ME RECCOMMEND AN ABORTION DOCTOR: MY FIST, A COAT HANGER, AND A BOTTLE OF VODKA. WE'LL MAKE A ROMANTIC EveNING OUT OF IT
33:30 Payne: I LIKE ANAKIN SKYWALKER MORE THAN YOU
34:09 Payne: FUCK CRAM, MAKE THAT WHICKEY, AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A FRIDAY NIGHT OUT IN SUACHIEHALL
34:15 Cramulus: I'D RATHER DIE IN A BURNING BUS WRECK WHERE ALL THE OTHER PASSENGERS ARE CLONES OF THE HOMELESS GUY WHO KEEPS EYE FUCKING ME THAN SPEND ONE MORE GODDAMN SECOND SMELLING YOUR LOUSY CUNT
34:46 Payne: CRAM, I SHAT OUT A MASSIVE LOG OF FECAL MATTER TODAY, IT HAD YOUR FACE
34:48 Cramulus: YOU'RE LIKE THE JIZZ PARADE,  BUT INSTEAD OF CELEBRATING, EveRYBODY GETS AIDS
35:00 Payne: SO I SET IT ON FIRE BEFORE I FLUSHED
35:08 Cramulus: I'M GONNA BREAK MY FIST OFF IN YOUR COLON
35:20 Payne: FUCK YEA, SUCKER PUNCH THOSE WORMS
35:31 Payne: CHRIST KNOWS I NEED IT
35:52 Cramulus: IN FACT, I'M GONNA GET A PET TAPE WORM AND NAME IT STUPID PIECE OF CUM-SHIT BECAUSE THEY REMIND ME OF YOU
36:49 Cramulus: YOU THINK I'M NOT SERIOUS? I WILL PERSONALLY CLIMB DOWN OFF THIS BUILDING AND STRETCH YOUR JAWS AROUND YOUR OWN ASS AND MAKE YOU TAKE A DUMP RIGHT INTO YOUR EYE SOCKETS
36:50 Payne: CRAM, I MEASURED THE DISTANCE TO THE PUB IN CRAMS, EXCEPT IN THE VERNACULAR I CALLED THEM DISTANCES BETWEEN TIGHTLY COILED PILES OF COG SHIT
37:51 Cramulus: THE OTHER DAY I OPENED MY FRONT DOOR AND I WAS LIKE "OH HEY DUDE" BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A QUIVERING BOWL OF DOG SNOT THAT SOMEBODY HAD HEATED UP IN A MICROWAVE UNTIL IT STARTED TO SING SHOWTUNES AND CRAP PISS ALL OVER YOUR GODDAMN LAWN
37:59 Cramulus: IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE
38:14 Cramulus: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT SWEAR FOR ELEveN MINUTES NOWWWWWWW
39:43 Cramulus: SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL POUR RAZORS INTO YOUR SHIT AND TELL CHILDREN THAT IT IS A DELICIOUS SURPRISE, THEN SUE YOU
40:46 Harlequin: DON'T MAKE ME FUCKING COME DOWN AND SHOVE COAXIAL SOUND CABLES INTO YOUR ASS AND THEN PLAY AC/DC SO FUCKING LOUD YOUR FUCKING ANUS WILL STAR DANCING AND EJECT ALL THE FUCKING SHIT THAT YOU'VE BEEN HOARDING FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS AND NINE MONTHS AND THREE DAYS AND FORTY-FIVE SECONDS
41:56 Cramulus: JESUS CHRIST I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SIMPERING SHITTALK PISSBALLS
42:19 Cramulus: I'M RELOADING RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTER FUCKING PUT ON A HELMET AND TAKE A SHIT
42:26 Cainad: FOUL LANGUAGE
42:36 Malachite: <+Cramulus> SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL POUR RAZORS INTO YOUR SHIT AND TELL CHILDREN THAT IT IS A DELICIOUS SURPRISE, THEN SUE YOU <--- this is the best insult/threat I have heard in a while
43:05 Harlequin: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BACK DOWN MOTHER FUCKER OR I'LL ROLL UP NEW SCIENTIST AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH SCIENCE EXCEPT IT WILL BE SCIENCE COVERED IN YOUR OWN BLOOD AND VOMIT AND SHIT
43:13 Cramulus: WHAT
43:41 Cramulus: I WILL WRAP YOU HEAD TO TOE IN DUCT TAPE AND PUT SNAKES IN YOUR INTESTINES THAT EAT YOUR SHIT SO WHEN YOU SHIT YOU SHIT SNAKES FULL OF SHIT
44:09 Harlequin: Well I find that just in bad taste
44:20 Cramulus: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
44:30 Cainad: ALL OF YOU NEED TO SHUT THE SLIMY DOLPHIN BALLS UP BEFORE I FORCE CANDIRU FISH INTO EveRY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR ORIFICES AND LIGHT YOUR FACE ON FIRE
45:08 Cramulus: YOU'RE A SODA DRINKING DANDRUFF SORTER WITH A BLACKLIGHT SENSITIVE ANAL BRAIN WITH ASS CHEEKS FOR LOBES
46:01 Cramulus: I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE OF YOUR INTRACTABLE MENTAL JIZZ OLYMPICS
46:47 Cramulus: BUT IN THE MEANTIME I AWARD YOU THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR BEING A SPECIAL-ED PISS POLYP
46:52 Cainad: YEAH WELL YOU'RE A SIDEWALK-SNIFFING ALCOHOLIC WITH PHILOSOPHICAL CONSTIPATION
47:20 Harlequin: YOUR SPAGMOSEXUAL ANTICS MAKE FUCKING RETARDED CROMAGNONS LOOK LIKE FREAKING UNIVERSITY GRADUATES FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF AWESOME-VILL THAT HAS A POLICY OF FUCKIGN ABORTING COCK-SUCKERS LIKE YOU IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER
48:01 Cainad: ALSO YOU DISGUST ME WITH YOUR DETRITUS-BASED ANAL PLAY DURING THE FUNERAL'S OF BELOVED GRANDMOTHERS
48:16 Cainad: FUNERALS, EveN
48:53 Cramulus: IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN FIRE OUT OF YOUR FACE-ASS? I'VE PISSED IN THE SNOW AND IT WAS A TONY-AWARD WINNING NOVELLA COMPARED WITH THE SORT OF GUTTERPUNK VERBAL CANCER YOU LEAK LIKE AN OVERRIPE PUSTULE FULL OF CUM
49:23 Harlequin: I SPY JIZZ-MONKEYS OFF THE STARBOARD BOW AND THEY'VE GOT YOUR FUCKING NAME ON THEM. AND THEY SHARE YOUR LEveL OF STUPIDITY HENCE WHY THEY APPLY A SINGLE NAME TO A THE BUNCH OF THEM BECAUSE THEY CAN'T DISTINGUISH BETWEEN SINGLUAR AND PLURAL BECAUSE THEY'RE THAT FUCKIGN RETARDED. LIKE YOU
49:37 Cramulus: JESUS
49:57 Cramulus: I NEED MORE COFFEE
50:58 Cainad: YOUR SUCH AN ARROGANT BUTTJUICE CHUGGER THAT YOU PROBABLY DON'T EveN NOTICE THAT YOUR PUS-FILLED EYEBALLS EXPLODED ALL OVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IN FACT YOU PROBABLY FED IT TO YOUR DOG AND THEN DROPPED IT OUR THE WINDOW YOU ZIT-JUGGLING FUCKFACE
51:13 FAAAARK: sup cuntnuggets
51:14 Cramulus: fuck
51:15 Cainad: AND CALLED IT "ART"
51:32 Idem: my favorite one was "THE OTHER DAY I OPENED MY FRONT DOOR AND I WAS LIKE "OH HEY DUDE" BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A QUIVERING BOWL OF DOG SNOT THAT SOMEBODY HAD HEATED UP IN A MICROWAVE UNTIL IT STARTED TO SING SHOWTUNES AND CRAP PISS ALL OVER YOUR GODDAMN LAWN"
51:47 Cramulus: SHIT COCK RECHARGING
52:05 Cainad: EAR JIZZ ANTICS
52:51 P3nt4gr4m: what I really wanted from this place was crystal meth and a blowjob but I'll settle for tourettes
52:59 Cramulus: JESUS IT'S FUCKING P3NT
53:33 Cramulus: THAT IS TO SAY - JESUS SOME TOTAL MORON HAS JACKED PENT'S ACCOUNT AND NOW HE'S SAYING THE DUMBEST SHIT AN IDIOT COULD IMAGINE
55:48 Cramulus: I'LL GIVE YOU WOOD. I'LL RAM MY COCKKNOB RIGHT IN YOUR EYE UNTIL YOU BURST INTO TEARS BUT INSTEAD OF TEARS ITS HIGHLY ACIDIC URINE THAT EATS YOUR FACE UNTIL YOU LOOK LIKE THE GUY FROM RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK AND SOME CUNT IS LIKE MOMMY MOMMY, DOES THAT MAN HAVE SOME SORT OF RENAL DEFECT? AND HER MOM WILL SAY NO SWEETHEART, HE'S JUST A FAT, JITTERY, LOATHSOME PIECE OF SHIT THAT CAN'T TELL HIS OWN FACE FROM A MOUNTAIN OF TODDLER TURDS THAT PEDOS
57:33 P3nt4gr4m: CRAM I RAMMED BOTH MY FISTS AND HALF MY FOOT IN YOUR MOMS ASSHOLE LAST NIGHT AND THEN SPENT SO LONG TRYING TO WORK OUT WHICH HOLE WAS WHICH SHE UNLOADED THE MOTHER OF ALL FOLLOW THROUGHS RIGHT IN MY FACE.
57:41 P3nt4gr4m: i GOT CHARGED EXTRA FOR THAT
57:41 Cramulus: ANAL SWEAT SHIT DICKS FUCK SHIT URINE PISS FUCK DRIPPINGS RUNNING DOWN YOUR FACE SMELLS LIKE SOME KIND OF ANAL RACE
59:16 P3nt4gr4m: BABY ASS RAPE
59:25 Cramulus: IT TOOK ME 18 MONTHS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT UP WITH YOUR VERBAL AIDS YOU DICK TURBAN
59:28 ***Cramulus breathing heavily
59:37 Cramulus: can't.... stop... fuck....
00:17 P3nt4gr4m: WHY NOT TRY FUCKING YOURSELF IN THE WINDPIPE WITH A LENGTH OF ROTTING HORSE COCK
01:00 Cramulus: HOW ABOUT YOU EAT A WHOLE CANOE FULL OF MORMON MEN ALL JACKING EACH OTHER OFF
01:15 P3nt4gr4m: POUR SOME BLEACH DOWN IT TO SIMULATE SPOOGE
01:43 Cramulus: HOW ABOUT YOU DIE TEN TIMES IN A ROW AND THEN I'LL FIST YOUR WIFE ON YOUR GRAVE
01:46 Cramulus: AND SHE'LL SHIT
02:11 P3nt4gr4m: SUPERGLUE YOUR EYES TO A BABIES NIPPLES THEN JERK YOUR HEAD BACK AND SEE WHICH COMES OFF FIRST
02:24 Astantia: whoa
02:29 P3nt4gr4m: SRSLY
02:42 Cramulus: FIRST YOU FIGURE THIS OUT: WHAT HAS MORE KNUCKLES - YOUR MOM'S HAIRY ASS FEET, OR YOUR COLON WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU?
02:57 Cainad: I THINK YOU REALLY OUGHT TO SLIDE BARE-ASSED DOWN A PALM TREE COVERED IN FERRET LYMPH NODES SO THAT I CAN THEN REMOVE YOUR DESTROYED ANUS AND SELL IT ON EBAY SO THEN I'LL HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY AN ELECTRIC EEL TO SHOVE UP YOUR URETHRA
02:58 Cramulus: HINT: YOUR MOTHER LOST A FOOT TO DIABETES AND IS A SMELLY CUNT
03:17 P3nt4gr4m: MY MOMS ASS DOESN'T HAVE FEET - THAT'S YOUR INBRED FUCKING SIUSTER YOURE THINKING ABOUT
03:23 Cramulus: SHIT
03:54 Cramulus: MY INBRED SISTER IS A SAINT AND YOU'RE A CARTOON CHARACTER DOING HARD TIME FOR DICKS
04:35 P3nt4gr4m: ONE MOAR REMARK THAT THAT AND i'LL GIVE YOU A CHAINSAW ENEMA THEN FILL THE CARNAGE FULL OF SEMOLINA AND GET A RETARD TO LICK IT OUT
04:45 Cainad: YOUR INBRED SISTER EATS PASTRIES MADE OUT OF SCROTUMS
05:07 P3nt4gr4m: YOUR INBRED SISTER EATS ANYONE WHO GIVES HER A COOKIE
06:23 P3nt4gr4m: TALK ABOUT BEATING AROUND THE BUSH
06:41 P3nt4gr4m: JUST WHAT THE FUCK EXACTLY YOU TRYING TO SAY THERE JIZZGARGLER?
06:57 Cramulus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
06:59 Cramulus: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE
07:15 Cramulus: YOU'RE SUCH A STUPID NIPPLEDICK IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY BLOOD OUT OF MY ASS
07:33 Cramulus: OR JIZZ TEARS OF SORROW INTO THAT DISGUSTING CRAP YOU MADE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT
07:37 Cramulus: EITHER WAY, FUCK YOU
08:14 P3nt4gr4m: YOU MAKE ME WANT TO DONKEYPUNCH MY OWN GRANDMA TILL HER HAIR FALLS OUT THEN MAKE A DILDO OUT OF THE HAIR AND SET FIRE TO IT BEFORE RAMMING IT UP YOUR URETHRA
09:20 P3nt4gr4m: HOLY FUCK
09:33 P3nt4gr4m: ARE YOU HAVING SOME KINDA EMBOLISM OR SOMETHING?
10:01 Cramulus: I DON'T KNOW!!!
10:16 Cramulus: THIS IS KILLLLLLLLLING MEEEEEEEE
10:30 Cramulus: IT SEEMS I CAN'T STOP SWEARING
10:41 Cramulus: EveRY TIME I THINK IT'S GOING TO END, I READ SOMETHING YOU SAID AND IT SETS ME OFF AGAIN
11:04 P3nt4gr4m: COS i'M SETTING UP A WESITE WHERE WE INDUCE EMBOLISMS IN VISRGINS, JUST AT THE POINT OF THEIR FIRST ORGASM AND THEN FILM WEASELS, LICKING THE BLOOD OUT THE EARS BEFORE WE FUCK THE WEASELS SO HARD THEY SPLODEY THEN WE RUB THE BITS INTO THE DEAD VIRGIN'S ASSHOLE AAND SET FIRE TO IT
11:13 P3nt4gr4m: YOU ARE A VIRGIN RIGHT?
11:16 Cramulus: YOU'RE LIKE AN ENTIRE DAY-TRIP TO THE RETARD ZOO, BUT EveRYBODY'S A CLONE OF YOUR WORTHLESS JIZZ-SCULPTURE-FACE
11:24 Cramulus: SHIT
12:17 P3nt4gr4m: WE'RE CALLING THE SITE WWW.ARISTOCRATS.COM
13:00 P3nt4gr4m: ANYWAY - I JUST WANTED TO DROP BY TO SAY FUCK YUO
13:09 P3nt4gr4m: AND I DON'T MEAN THAT IN A NICE WAY
13:19 Cramulus: EAT DICKS X100
13:30 Cainad: CRAM YOUR COPROLALIA IS FUCKING INTOLERABLE. YOUR IMMATURE AND QUITE CLEARLY FURRY-EROTIC DESIRE TO PUKE YOUR MENTAL RENAL FAILURE IS A CANCER THAT GIVES EveRYONE UNDESCENDED TESTICLES
13:33 Cramulus: THIS IS ALL [000]
13:34 Cramulus: ALL HIS FAULT

That's worse than a whole season of 'Sex in the City'!  (And the movies too)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on June 23, 2010, 09:10:09 pm
This thread is the next best thing to P3nT's swearing forum coming back up.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nast on June 23, 2010, 09:39:51 pm
Knock knock.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 23, 2010, 09:50:46 pm
Pics or it didn't happen.











I can't believe this is the first time in the thread this has been requested.

So far I believe Cram and Nigel are truthing.
I think I did see a pic of Nigels sack of roanges somewhere.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 23, 2010, 09:53:19 pm
Pics or it didn't happen.











I can't believe this is the first time in the thread this has been requested.

So far I believe Cram and Nigel are truthing.
I think I did see a pic of Nigels sack of roanges somewhere.

I didn't think to take pics of actually eating the oranges (that would have been a good idea, especially the last three, by which I was bloated and unhappy) but here are the two bags (4 lbs each) of oranges:

(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs099.snc4/36300_404756954068_710084068_4431878_2533313_n.jpg)

Yes, that is a bag of cherries next to them.

My FBF did witness me eating the last six.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 23, 2010, 09:55:05 pm
I would not, however, be at all surprised to learn that this was all just a ruse by Cram to get us to torture ourselves with oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 23, 2010, 10:10:44 pm
That slimy scoundrel would do something like that wouldn't he.

you bastard  :argh!:


(or not, depending)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on June 23, 2010, 10:13:05 pm
if I were to try this, would chewing a few anti-stomach-acid tablets be considered cheating?

i never take those, but I imagine if I'm gonna eat all that acid, it'll probably neutralize it a bit.

or maybe the sodium bicarbonate will make me burp like a motherfucxker?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 23, 2010, 10:13:40 pm
My thought is that anything else you want to put in your stomach is totally game.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 23, 2010, 11:06:27 pm
(http://i861.photobucket.com/albums/ab178/ZyzyxtheOrangeEater/DSCI0073.jpg)
(http://i861.photobucket.com/albums/ab178/ZyzyxtheOrangeEater/DSCI0072.jpg)

Okay Peedy, here it goes. I gots beer and tums to help me out. Here goes...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 23, 2010, 11:17:39 pm
HOLY JIZZING BALLCOCKS THESE ORANGES ARE SEEDLESS

YOU IMPACTED GARBAGE BAGS BUSTING TO THE BRIM WITH BUZZARD SPUTUM DON'T REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS

IT'S GODDAMN GOBBLIN' TIME HOLY HELL
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 23, 2010, 11:29:10 pm
 :lulz: Oh, the enthusiasm of the first few oranges!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 23, 2010, 11:31:14 pm
On number THREE! WOO! Every tiny open scrape on my skin is now throbbing with pain. XD



Zyzyx, shirtless in his room listening to Nightwish and eating an entire bowl of oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on June 23, 2010, 11:32:20 pm
On number THREE! WOO! Every tiny open scrape on my skin is now throbbing with pain. XD



Zyzyx, shirtless in his room listening to Nightwish and eating an entire bowl of oranges.

:awesome:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 23, 2010, 11:59:04 pm
Think I just hit five, starting on my first Hoegaarden.

At my seventh orange I will pop a Tums. All is well in the world, and this will be a good night, secure in my DOMINANCE.

Zyzyx,
Preparing to perform tomorrow's Epic Bowel Maneuver with the help of Ghost Love Score.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 24, 2010, 01:31:48 am
This has got to be good!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 24, 2010, 03:21:05 am
Zyzyx, taking it up a notch by not only doing it in one sitting but washing it down with a six pack.

You, my friend, are going to SHIT.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 24, 2010, 03:34:47 am
OH SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK MY ASS AGGGH
 :x :x :x :x :x :x

The beer combined with the oranges has given me prodigious quantities of gas beyond my previously-estimated capabilities - it BURRRRNS AGH

Such marks the end of all Dionysian revels - wishing someone would pull your arms off and get it over with. At least back in the day your cult-buddies would be only too happy to oblige, even eating you afterwards so you don't go to waste!

Don't get any ideas people. >_>
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 24, 2010, 03:37:05 am
OH SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK MY ASS AGGGH
 :x :x :x :x :x :x

The beer combined with the oranges has given me prodigious quantities of gas beyond my previously-estimated capabilities - it BURRRRNS AGH

Such marks the end of all Dionysian revels - wishing someone would pull your arms off and get it over with. At least back in the day your cult-buddies would be only too happy to oblige, even eating you afterwards so you don't go to waste!

Don't get any ideas people. >_>


How many have you gone through?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 24, 2010, 03:37:26 am
I got through eight of the bastards and half my six-pack. To make it more palatable I squeezed a wedge or two into my wiessbier, which was in fact pretty good. I just have to now deal with a vast over-indulging of dietary fiber. I may lose weight, which is good since I am basically a big torso.

I applaud this thread Cram, you helped my American ass appreciate my lack of daily fiber with (literally) visceral consequences.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 24, 2010, 03:39:37 am
5 to go!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 24, 2010, 03:41:06 am
About to pass out so I'm going to eat one then go to town on the rest in the morning.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 24, 2010, 03:41:12 am
WAITING FOR UPDATES, HERE

IS MY CROWN IN JEOPARDY?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 24, 2010, 03:41:41 am
About to pass out so I'm going to eat one then go to town on the rest in the morning.

UM

It doesn't count if you eat them over the span of DAYS. Not even two days. It has to be done in ONE DAY. Otherwise, I could eat another six this evening and then insist that the total to beat is eighteen.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 24, 2010, 03:45:21 am
Nigel's right.

Plus you still have 3 beers left.

You must finish ALL of it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 24, 2010, 03:45:45 am
Yeah, you remain undefeated then, Nigel. Nine is my final count before my intestinal system forms a goth band solely for the express purpose of bitching about me.

Nigel, Remains Undefeated.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 24, 2010, 03:46:33 am
This is why I have not participated in said contest.

Though, I think you beat Cram.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 24, 2010, 03:48:40 am
WOOHOO! :thanks:

STILL CHAMPION!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 24, 2010, 03:49:05 am
"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:" Timothy 4:7

A Biblical reference to my orange-eating ventures, since I have finished a course of nine full-size Valencia oranges and washed it down with delicious weissbier.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 24, 2010, 03:54:10 am
Shit, if I'd been doing Valencias I could have had 16!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 24, 2010, 03:59:45 am
Forgive my impudence, Nigel-sama. I must retire and contemplate the way of the fruit, then awaken to an interesting day at work. >_>

Night!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 24, 2010, 04:02:29 am
It was a valiant attempt Zyzyx.

I recommend retrying on the weekend, and spacing them out, maybe 2 per hour. Eat a ton of cheese to balance out the fiber.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 24, 2010, 06:42:50 am
It was valiant, indeed! The beer was a good idea, really.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on June 24, 2010, 12:53:51 pm
Nine is my final count before my intestinal system forms a goth band solely for the express purpose of bitching about me.

:potd:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zyzyx on June 24, 2010, 05:11:13 pm
Update, 11:09: The orange binge has proven a point - I need to lose weight, and lots of dietary fiber helps! I had four oranges, and at dinner two hours later I only ate a tiny bowl and was completely stuffed for the rest of the evening. No snacks, no further drinks, it was awesome. I needs moar fruit in my life.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 25, 2010, 12:38:00 am
That was actually a surprise fact about oranges that I was unprepared for; the amount of fiber in an orange fills you the fuck up, and you don't feel like eating ANYTHING else. Especially not any more oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on June 25, 2010, 12:50:16 am
I failed miserably at my first attempt, but soon I'll get a job and acquire me some oranges(I ate the only one left in the fridge), and when that happens I'm challenging all my friends.

Thanks, PD!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 25, 2010, 12:59:35 am
I failed miserably at my first attempt, but soon I'll get a job and acquire me some oranges(I ate the only one left in the fridge), and when that happens I'm challenging all my friends.

Thanks, PD!

 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on June 25, 2010, 01:34:54 am
I failed miserably at my first attempt, but soon I'll get a job and acquire me some oranges(I ate the only one left in the fridge), and when that happens I'm challenging all my friends.

Thanks, PD!

 :lulz:


A high fortitude roll won't save them this time!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 25, 2010, 02:17:58 am
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 25, 2010, 02:18:33 am
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?

Well, it's either that or olympic wango tango.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on June 25, 2010, 02:19:48 am
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?

It may as well be.
For some strange reason I'm compelled to give it a try.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on June 25, 2010, 02:23:04 am
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?

It may as well be.
For some strange reason I'm compelled to give it a try.

This. I'm starting to get all giddy inside. I feel like I'm bubbling over with girlish glee.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on June 25, 2010, 02:34:05 am
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?

Well, it's either that or olympic wango tango.

Both of these should be PD's unofficial sport. Or even official.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on June 25, 2010, 01:40:50 pm
Only if I get to play a Vuvuzela.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 25, 2010, 02:20:22 pm
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?

It may as well be.
For some strange reason I'm compelled to give it a try.

This. I'm starting to get all giddy inside. I feel like I'm bubbling over with girlish glee.

yeah!

When I started this, here was the sequence of events:

1. Realization that I had eaten nothing but pizza for 2 days, and fast food for 2 days before that.
2. Roommate says, "You want to eat oranges until we puke?"
3. Laughing until I couldn't breathe

People kept asking me, WHY? And I had no fucking idea why I was doing it, just that it was something that nobody just does unless it's for a joke or a project or something. But there's always a good reason and I didn't have one. If there is a such thing as Free Will, I think this is how you demonstrate it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on June 25, 2010, 03:29:02 pm
Free Will; Because I fucking can! :D
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 25, 2010, 05:16:50 pm
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?

It may as well be.
For some strange reason I'm compelled to give it a try.

This. I'm starting to get all giddy inside. I feel like I'm bubbling over with girlish glee.

yeah!

When I started this, here was the sequence of events:

1. Realization that I had eaten nothing but pizza for 2 days, and fast food for 2 days before that.
2. Roommate says, "You want to eat oranges until we puke?"
3. Laughing until I couldn't breathe

People kept asking me, WHY? And I had no fucking idea why I was doing it, just that it was something that nobody just does unless it's for a joke or a project or something. But there's always a good reason and I didn't have one. If there is a such thing as Free Will, I think this is how you demonstrate it.

That was what I loved about it too! Also the absurdly small number of oranges it is possible to eat.

As I ate my 12th orange, FBF was all "YOU ARE A WINNER" and we both laughed.

I admit, my laughter was a little weak for fear of puking.

I still feel like I have oranges in me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 25, 2010, 05:19:46 pm
Somewhere inside of Nigel, there are alarm klaxons going off...But the maintenance crew is all smoking shit behind her pancreas, and the flooding continues unnoticed.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 25, 2010, 05:40:05 pm
Nothing a good shit won't take care of, my good man.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 25, 2010, 05:49:26 pm
Nothing a good shit won't take care of, my good man.

Only if done in a timely fashion.  Otherwise, well, the only remedy is the "pink glove".
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 25, 2010, 06:03:47 pm
Nothing a good shit won't take care of, my good man.

Only if done in a timely fashion.  Otherwise, well, the only remedy is the "pink glove".

 :x:1fap:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 25, 2010, 07:05:54 pm
my poops are just now starting to return to a normal color

still not "normal" yet
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on June 26, 2010, 07:49:23 pm
my poops are just now starting to return to a normal color

still not "normal" yet

What about now? I MUST KNOW
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 26, 2010, 08:34:29 pm
I don't know about Cram, but I'm STILL not pooping normally.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on June 27, 2010, 02:22:15 pm
the effects of the oranges have worn off but I just drank 100 beers last night, so I've been expelling concentrated evil this morning


On days like this, I do more evil before 10 AM than most people do all week
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 28, 2010, 07:11:07 pm
the effects of the oranges have worn off but I just drank 100 beers last night, so I've been expelling concentrated evil this morning


On days like this, I do more evil before 10 AM than most people do all week

You do more evil in any given 10 minutes than most people do all week, if by "evil" you mean "WTF".
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 28, 2010, 07:35:11 pm
the effects of the oranges have worn off but I just drank 100 beers last night, so I've been expelling concentrated evil this morning


On days like this, I do more evil before 10 AM than most people do all week

Well I drank 110 beers last night, and I'm only exuding 'Playful belligerence' so   :jebus:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Richter on June 28, 2010, 08:20:29 pm
Last time I drank 100 beers I destroyed a bathroom, spent 5 hours as a disciple of Khorne, and then started running a confessional booth.

People still talk about it, and I'm required to attend again next year.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on June 29, 2010, 12:39:27 am
I wish I could be evil/awesome/wtf when under the influence/side effects of substances. To my knowledge it's only happened once, and I don't remember much of it. Apparently I ended up in a tree and lost at least 20 minutes of memory. Most of the time I just get really subdued, though.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on June 29, 2010, 01:09:18 am
I wish I could be evil/awesome/wtf when under the influence/side effects of substances. To my knowledge it's only happened once, and I don't remember much of it. Apparently I ended up in a tree and lost at least 20 minutes of memory. Most of the time I just get really subdued, though.
20 minutes is plenty long enough to get a good dose of Evil up and running. The memory loss is probably a protection thing, so you're not crippled with useless guilt.  At what you might have done. Or didn't do.  :D
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on June 29, 2010, 01:14:50 am
Apparently everyone's first impression of me was "woah, this kid's crazy!"

I then proceeded to spend the rest of my college career so far avoiding most parties and being a nerd. Haw haw, fooled them! Suckers.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 29, 2010, 06:40:16 pm
I wish I could be evil/awesome/wtf when under the influence/side effects of substances. To my knowledge it's only happened once, and I don't remember much of it. Apparently I ended up in a tree and lost at least 20 minutes of memory. Most of the time I just get really subdued, though.

Was that the time you had a LOT of caffeine?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on June 29, 2010, 10:45:31 pm
I wish I could be evil/awesome/wtf when under the influence/side effects of substances. To my knowledge it's only happened once, and I don't remember much of it. Apparently I ended up in a tree and lost at least 20 minutes of memory. Most of the time I just get really subdued, though.

Was that the time you had a LOT of caffeine?

No, this was my first experience with significant amounts of alcohol and pot (at the same time!).

The time I thought I had a shit ton of caffeine was probably the most evil/greatest hour of my life so far (and I actually remember climbing up the tree that time). It was the mother of all placebos. Having lots of real caffeine has never had that kind of effect on me (although to be fair, I don't think I've ever consumed more than the equivalent of 3 shots of espresso in an hour).
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Pæs on August 05, 2010, 10:57:18 pm
BUMP.

Those who took part, have you had many oranges since?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on August 05, 2010, 11:11:33 pm
I haven't touched one since. Only a couple of orange juice mixers, with vodka. Semi fermented pulpy orange shit is unpleasant enough for my sphincter to itch still, at the thought of an orange. *Shifts uncomfortably* See?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on August 05, 2010, 11:41:54 pm
YESTERDAY: I CRAPPED MY PANCE FOR SCIENCE
TODAY: I AM BEGINNING MY NEW "NO ORANGE" DIET

died = upheld



edit: *diet
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 05, 2010, 11:58:57 pm
BUMP.

Those who took part, have you had many oranges since?

Not oranges (which I normally don't eat) but I have had orange juice, and lots of it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on August 06, 2010, 12:01:42 am
I've thought about eating some, but I am too lazy to peel them.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on August 06, 2010, 12:05:41 pm
I haven't touched one since. Only a couple of orange juice mixers, with vodka. Semi fermented pulpy orange shit is unpleasant enough for my sphincter to itch still, at the thought of an orange. *Shifts uncomfortably* See?

how was it semi-fermented?

also this thread has made me buy and eat some oranges, although in sensible amounts ...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Faust on August 06, 2010, 12:08:20 pm
I feel like such a sissy now, I'm eating mandarins.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: NotPublished on August 06, 2010, 12:13:34 pm
hang on, I thought oranges were bananas until I saw the picture

:s

Well I saw the word torture and I thought of banana ...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on August 06, 2010, 01:25:46 pm
hang on, I thought oranges were bananas until I saw the picture

:s

Well I saw the word torture and I thought of banana ...
Pineapples are far more effective instruments of torture than oranges and bananas combined. Painful on insertion, (I would imagine) and devastating on extraction. They should rename them "Goatseapples".  :fap:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on September 09, 2010, 07:59:24 pm
About to pass out so I'm going to eat one then go to town on the rest in the morning.

Bump. Mentioned in the Allow Me to Introduce Myself thread. Also, I think it's funny that Zyzyx was going to suspend it until the next day. He did mix it with beer, which I'm still impressed about.

Zyzyx had some potential, and I liked him. Too bad he got blown up in a freak industrial accident.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 05, 2011, 10:22:22 am
Bump. :)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: BadBeast on April 05, 2011, 10:37:23 am
Bastard!   :fap: :x :fap:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on April 05, 2011, 11:24:53 pm
HOLY PINEAPPLE COCKS OF RAGGEDY PROLAPSE!

THIS THREAD HAS RETURNED!

(And I reread the entire thing.  :lulz: )
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 05, 2011, 11:26:24 pm
I fucking love this thread!

Also, Cainad's fruit  thread. I need to go find it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 01:59:57 am
ON FRIDAY

I WILL CHALLENGE ANY MOTHERFUCKER THINKS THEY HAVE THE INTESTINAL FORTITUDE TO GO TOE TO TOE WITH ME AGAIN. I MAY HAVE LOST ROUND 1, BUT I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER EATING ORANGES, I SHIT YOU NOT.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 06, 2011, 03:31:47 am
I am never doing this again. Ever.


EVER.

YOU SEE THE COLOR OF THIS TEXT? THIS WAS THE COLOR OF MY SHIT FOR 3 GODAWFUL DAYS AND NIGHTS. GOOD THING WE DIDN'T ROCK THE RUBY REDS OR BLOOD ORANGES OR I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT A GODDAMN PROLAPSE WAS IMMINENT.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 03:34:39 am
YOU

ARE

WEAK
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 06, 2011, 03:38:27 am
YOU

ARE

WEAK

Do it.

Do and see who calls who weak, little girl. You know those hemorrhoids? They'll be back, with a VENGEANCE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 03:41:11 am
I will, and without a broked shitbox to slow me down, I WILL RULE THE FUCKING PLANET OF ORANGE EATERS FOR A SOLID THREE HOURS.  WITH AN IRON FIST.


See if I don't.  But I need someone to compete against.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 06, 2011, 03:57:11 am
I am going to regret this.



Consider my hat to be IN THE FUCKING RING, FUCKERS!

My orange purchasing will occur sometime around 11 am tomorrow. Pics for authenticity.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 06, 2011, 04:05:33 am
Damn, I should have gotten in on this yesterday.

Stopped after eating half the bag  :argh!:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on April 06, 2011, 04:18:38 am
TOMORROW, IT'S ON!

(http://i.imgur.com/94iKJ.gif)

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 06, 2011, 04:27:19 am
Freeky sez Friday.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on April 06, 2011, 04:31:18 am
Freeky sez Friday.

Oh.

FRIDAY IT IS!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 05:19:26 am
Freeky sez Friday.

Oh.

FRIDAY IT IS!


FUCK YEAH, COMPETITION!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 06, 2011, 05:25:58 am
Whoop, glad I stayed on to read that. :lulz:  Friday indeed.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 05:26:44 am
IN  FUCKING  DEED


BITCH.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 05:28:40 am
OH MY FUCKING GOD

AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN

NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 05:29:44 am
OH MY FUCKING GOD

AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN

NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!

OH FUCK YEAH NIGEL IS IN
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 05:30:04 am
This is going to be so epic and sweet.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 06, 2011, 05:40:35 am
oh jesus christballs

my asshole is in so much danger :x


shiiiiitttt I am now committed to eating what will probably be a minimum of 13 oranges within 24 hours.




I WILL NOT BACK DOWN
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on April 06, 2011, 05:41:30 am
I don't really want to know do I?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 06, 2011, 05:43:39 am
OH MY FUCKING GOD

AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN

NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!

What was your record again?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 05:50:32 am
I don't really want to know do I?

Read dis fread.  Is epic.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on April 06, 2011, 05:51:11 am
I don't really want to know do I?

Read dis fread.  Is epic.

Afraid to. Doesn't want to be tempted to blow my ass out and shit orange for a week.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 06, 2011, 05:53:18 am
I don't really want to know do I?

Read dis fread.  Is epic.

Afraid to. Doesn't want to be tempted to blow my ass out and shit orange for a week.

If it is your fate, you will not be able to resist The Call.

I was shown mercy by the gods and did not have to participate during the first trial.

But now the time has come for Nigel to defend her crown.



Also: READ FREAD, YOU SPAG!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 06:46:30 am
I don't really want to know do I?

Read dis fread.  Is epic.

Afraid to. Doesn't want to be tempted to blow my ass out and shit orange for a week.


HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS, YOU NEED TO READ THIS FUCKING THREAD
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on April 06, 2011, 06:49:11 am
I read it a few months ago. It terrified me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 06, 2011, 06:52:48 am
I WILL GIVE MYSELF A FUCKING RUPTURE.  DON'T YOU THINK I WON'T.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 07:45:39 am
OH MY FUCKING GOD

AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN

NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!

What was your record again?

I think I ate 12 full-size bigass fucking oranges, like honkin' navel motherfuckers, none of those little Valencias.

Yeah, I was fucked up for a few days. I gotta start training NOW if we start Friday. I think I can own this motherfucker.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: E.O.T. on April 06, 2011, 07:49:51 am
OH MY FUCKING GOD

AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN

NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!

What was your record again?

I think I ate 12 full-size bigass fucking oranges, like honkin' navel motherfuckers, none of those little Valencias.

Yeah, I was fucked up for a few days. I gotta start training NOW if we start Friday. I think I can own this motherfucker.

I'M

            raising this ante to grapefruit
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 07:51:01 am
Fuck no, grapefruit are narsty.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 07:56:19 am
I love grapefruit

but if you eat too many, IT WILL BURN

Trust me on this one.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: E.O.T. on April 06, 2011, 07:57:22 am
I love grapefruit

but if you eat too many, IT WILL BURN

Trust me on this one.

MONKEYS

          would stick them up their ass.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 07:58:53 am
Besides being gross, this is the second annual PD Orange Eating Competitionthing FOR SCIENCE AND LULZ

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 07:59:33 am
Besides being gross, this is the second annual PD Orange Eating Competitionthing FOR SCIENCE AND LULZ



YESSSSSSSSSS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 08:03:32 am
Besides being gross, this is the second annual PD Orange Eating Competitionthing FOR SCIENCE AND LULZ



YESSSSSSSSSS

FUCK YEAH YEARLY SHIT
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 08:10:17 am
I like Discordian traditions, even though most of them are dangerous or unhealthy. :)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 08:11:33 am
Or both.  :lol:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 08:16:44 am
Especially both.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 08:19:45 am
Those ones are THE BEST. 
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on April 06, 2011, 10:43:30 am
Unholy mother of FUCK, I can't BREATHE...   :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 06, 2011, 12:45:13 pm
Oh, I am SO tempted...I just don't want the pain..........
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 06, 2011, 01:13:29 pm
OH MY FUCKING GOD

AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN

NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!

What was your record again?

I think I ate 12 full-size bigass fucking oranges, like honkin' navel motherfuckers, none of those little Valencias.

Yeah, I was fucked up for a few days. I gotta start training NOW if we start Friday. I think I can own this motherfucker.

I'M

            raising this ante to grapefruit

I tried this earlier in the thread. Cram disqualified grapefruits.

But I may eat one on Friday just to spite you all and show how hardcore I am, even though it won't count towards my score.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Rumckle on April 06, 2011, 01:14:19 pm
Friday, Friday, gonna eat oranges on Friday!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Rumckle on April 06, 2011, 01:33:07 pm
Everybody's nostalgic about last year, last year
Friday, Friday
Getting sick on Friday
Everybody's getting intestinal problems
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on April 06, 2011, 01:59:50 pm
ORANGES, ORANGES, YEAH!
ORANGES, ORANGES, YEAH!



...AND PROLAPSE COMES AFTERWARDS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 04:23:54 pm
My doctor friend says "This seems like a bad idea".

I see that as MEDICAL ENDORSEMENT!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 06, 2011, 08:04:12 pm
Might I suggest stocking the bathroom with Tums, water, and fresh reading material now? Perhaps a bucket if you need to vomit whilst on the throne? Lots of baby wipes for your poor abused backsides . . .
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 08:20:15 pm
Might I suggest stocking the bathroom with Tums, water, and fresh reading material now? Perhaps a bucket if you need to vomit whilst on the throne? Lots of baby wipes for your poor abused backsides . . .

I did this last year... as I recall, it made me feel terrible for several days.

IT'S GO TIME!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 06, 2011, 09:31:34 pm
'ERE WE GO 'ERE WE GO 'ERE WE GO!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 06, 2011, 09:42:12 pm
Might I suggest stocking the bathroom with Tums, water, and fresh reading material now? Perhaps a bucket if you need to vomit whilst on the throne? Lots of baby wipes for your poor abused backsides . . .

I did this last year... as I recall, it made me feel terrible for several days.

IT'S GO TIME!

Yeah. Wasn't fun.

BUT IT WAS AWESOME.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 10:07:08 pm
Might I suggest stocking the bathroom with Tums, water, and fresh reading material now? Perhaps a bucket if you need to vomit whilst on the throne? Lots of baby wipes for your poor abused backsides . . .

I did this last year... as I recall, it made me feel terrible for several days.

IT'S GO TIME!

Yeah. Wasn't fun.

BUT IT WAS AWESOME.

YES!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 06, 2011, 10:10:40 pm
OH MY FUCKING GOD

AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN

NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!

What was your record again?

I think I ate 12 full-size bigass fucking oranges, like honkin' navel motherfuckers, none of those little Valencias.

Yeah, I was fucked up for a few days. I gotta start training NOW if we start Friday. I think I can own this motherfucker.

I like my Valencias dammit.

1.5 Valencias to equal 1 navel?  Or maybe we should just do this by weight.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 10:20:02 pm
Valencias are tasty. But yeah, less substantial than Navels. I'd say 1.5 Valencias to 1 navel is a fair conversion rate.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 11:41:07 pm
OH SNAP, VALENCIAS ARE IN? WOOT!

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2011, 11:44:31 pm
I think Navels are more of a December orange, so I might end up with Valencias as well, depending on what they have at the store


which I am putting off going to. Fuck, I hate grocery shopping, and I especially hate it when I have to get soda for my housemate. Using her food stamps. I do it because I'm nice, but there's something fucked up about buying soda with food stamps, it goes directly against my home economist grain.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 06, 2011, 11:53:34 pm
Getting soda with food stamps is dumb.  At least two bags of oranges is still not as expensive as a 6-pack of Pepsi.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 07, 2011, 01:19:40 am
Oh fuck... I have another date on Saturday and I'm doing this to myself on Friday. :lulz:

well, it'll only be like the 10th dumbest thing I've ever done


Oh, and they stock oranges in the fridge in the Geoscience building's break room. I can't run out of supply!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 07, 2011, 09:01:08 am
Is there a specific type of orange that has to be consumed to count?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Iason Ouabache on April 07, 2011, 09:14:23 am
I demand photographic evidence this year to keep everyone honest. Or else I'll eat zero oranges and tell you fuckers that I ate 2 dozen.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 07, 2011, 12:09:09 pm
I was planning on that anyway.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2011, 03:47:57 pm
Is there a specific type of orange that has to be consumed to count?

I think we decided that large (Navel) oranges are the baseline, but if you prefer Valencias (small juice oranges) 1.5 oranges counts as one. There are other varieties of orange, but basically a big orange = 1 and a little orange = .75.

No tangerines, no juice, no grapefruits.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 07, 2011, 04:16:23 pm
So wait. 12 is last year's winnar?

FUCKING TWELVE?

I eat six oranges in an afternoon with the flu on the regular, bitches.

And I do mean regular.

Prepare to suck the pithy, orange flesh of my bumpy, orange COCK, you beta-carotene-infused CITRUS CUNT-JUICERS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 07, 2011, 04:31:03 pm
You guys are nuts.

Freeky, if you do this, you are banished to the tiled section of the house until such time as I am sure that you won't puke/explosive diarhea all over the carpet.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 07, 2011, 04:31:21 pm
AND ONE MORE THING: WHEN I AM FINISHED, I WILL BLOW A MASSIVE FEMBOT JIZZLOAD INTO A 55 GALLON DRUM...AND THE PEOPLE WILL DRINK...AND THEY WILL CALL IT ORANGE JULIUS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 07, 2011, 04:51:53 pm
AND ONE MORE THING: WHEN I AM FINISHED, I WILL BLOW A MASSIVE FEMBOT JIZZLOAD INTO A 55 GALLON DRUM...AND THE PEOPLE WILL DRINK...AND THEY WILL CALL IT ORANGE JULIUS.

That is actually impressively disgusting, on a forum that contains Giggles.

Kudos!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 07, 2011, 04:54:45 pm
Well, there goes MY job...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2011, 05:26:35 pm
AND ONE MORE THING: WHEN I AM FINISHED, I WILL BLOW A MASSIVE FEMBOT JIZZLOAD INTO A 55 GALLON DRUM...AND THE PEOPLE WILL DRINK...AND THEY WILL CALL IT ORANGE JULIUS.

:vom:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 07, 2011, 05:28:45 pm
 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 07, 2011, 05:35:12 pm
Either we have to push this back to next week, or I'ma have to withdraw you guys.  :( 

This sucks.  It was going to be MY TIME TO SHINE THIS YEAR FUCK YEAH. :(
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2011, 05:50:45 pm
Oh no! I already Facebook invited a bajillion people... :(
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=155041761226218&ref=notif&notif_t=event_wall#wall_posts
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 07, 2011, 05:56:14 pm
Shitfuckdamn. 

Maybe I'll get to play next year.  Or we could have a couple rounds or something.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2011, 06:04:28 pm
There could be a round 2... I don't see why not.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 07, 2011, 06:08:04 pm
Im in
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 07, 2011, 06:14:48 pm
Ossim.  Round two is for me;  I'll do it on Saturday, and recuperate on Sunday and the following days. :)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 08, 2011, 12:04:48 am
I think Navels are more of a December orange, so I might end up with Valencias as well, depending on what they have at the store


which I am putting off going to. Fuck, I hate grocery shopping, and I especially hate it when I have to get soda for my housemate. Using her food stamps. I do it because I'm nice, but there's something fucked up about buying soda with food stamps, it goes directly against my home economist grain.

Just got back from the store, they still have navels here, but at higher prices (per pound) than valencias.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on April 08, 2011, 03:39:58 am
no wonder you guys get hemorrhoids ...acid shitting contests  :x
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2011, 03:41:01 am
no wonder you guys get hemorrhoids ...acid shitting contests  :x

I suppose you'd have told T.E. Lawrence to chill out and enjoy his money.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 04:05:03 am
no wonder you guys get hemorrhoids ...acid shitting contests  :x

You gotta stay in the game until you're out of the game!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 04:09:06 am
 :lulz: :lulz:  FUCKING SHITWAFFLE COCKGOBBLING YEAH.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on April 08, 2011, 04:21:55 am
I would be up for Round 2.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 04:27:33 am
:jebus:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Iason Ouabache on April 08, 2011, 11:08:01 am
*DING DING* IT'S ON MOTHERFUCKERS!!!




Or did you mean 6 am in another time zone?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 08, 2011, 12:06:05 pm
First orange, bitches.

Prepare to feel the acidic heat of my citrus wrath.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 08, 2011, 12:36:12 pm
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/207663_10150148367142655_612362654_6797192_7002210_n.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on April 08, 2011, 12:59:58 pm
Quick question, did anyone remember to invite Cramulus to this contest? It was partially his idea last time, wasn't it?

Maybe somebody text him?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on April 08, 2011, 01:14:23 pm
I'll FB his ass.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on April 08, 2011, 01:22:03 pm
He posted about it on FB yesterday, I presume somebody told 'im.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on April 08, 2011, 01:25:29 pm
Also, Navkat:    :fap:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 08, 2011, 02:10:09 pm
Also, Navkat:    :fap:

*flattered*

:)
(just brush the glitter off it and get in there)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zenpeanut on April 08, 2011, 02:53:42 pm
ALRIGHT COCK-NOZZLES, LURKING TIME'S OVER. ALL Y'ALL SHOULD PREPARE YOURSELF FOR SOME MASSIVE SCHOOLING IN HOW TO EAT UNGODLY AMOUNTS OF ORANGES!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on April 08, 2011, 03:22:16 pm
shit



damn



SWEET



MERCIFUL



FUCK I HAVEN'T EATEN AN ORANGE SINCE LAST JUNE.

and HERE I AM, ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICAINE IN THE FLORIDA KEYS KNOCKING FRUIT OFF THE BRANCHES AND CRAMMING THEM IN MY FACE

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT? I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE IT. I'M GONNA HANDLE SOMETHING: YOUR FAILURE. I'LL HANDLE IT WELL. I'LL MANHANDLE IT UNTIL IT GETS A RESTRAINING ORDER. THEN I'LL RESTRAIN IT UNTIL IT GETS A FONDLING ORDER. THEN I'LL CATTLE-PROD YOU IN THE BALLS WHILE HUMMING "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. THAT'S HOW GODDAMN SERIOUS I AM.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 08, 2011, 03:24:34 pm
shit



damn



SWEET



MERCIFUL



FUCK I HAVEN'T EATEN AN ORANGE SINCE LAST JUNE.

and HERE I AM, ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICAINE IN THE FLORIDA KEYS KNOCKING FRUIT OFF THE BRANCHES AND CRAMMING THEM IN MY FACE

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT? I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE IT. I'M GONNA HANDLE SOMETHING: YOUR FAILURE. I'LL HANDLE IT WELL. I'LL MANHANDLE IT UNTIL IT GETS A RESTRAINING ORDER. THEN I'LL RESTRAIN IT UNTIL IT GETS A FONDLING ORDER. THEN I'LL CATTLE-PROD YOU IN THE BALLS WHILE HUMMING "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. THAT'S HOW GODDAMN SERIOUS I AM.


H-H-HAWT.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on April 08, 2011, 03:27:11 pm
shit



damn



SWEET



MERCIFUL



FUCK I HAVEN'T EATEN AN ORANGE SINCE LAST JUNE.

and HERE I AM, ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICAINE IN THE FLORIDA KEYS KNOCKING FRUIT OFF THE BRANCHES AND CRAMMING THEM IN MY FACE

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT? I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE IT. I'M GONNA HANDLE SOMETHING: YOUR FAILURE. I'LL HANDLE IT WELL. I'LL MANHANDLE IT UNTIL IT GETS A RESTRAINING ORDER. THEN I'LL RESTRAIN IT UNTIL IT GETS A FONDLING ORDER. THEN I'LL CATTLE-PROD YOU IN THE BALLS WHILE HUMMING "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. THAT'S HOW GODDAMN SERIOUS I AM.


I always DID think you talk pretty, Cram.   :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 03:34:41 pm
Woah bitches, guess who just gobbled his first orange.

Shit yeah.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on April 08, 2011, 03:39:38 pm
Cram!  Yaaaaayyyyy!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 08, 2011, 03:43:44 pm
I go to buy mah oranges in a moment, how many am I gonna need to win this (was thinking two bag, about 16 valencias).
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 03:45:13 pm
CRAMULASS

Welcome the fuck back


Also, 3 fucking oranges you nutpoachers!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 03:45:56 pm
IT'S

GO

TIME!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on April 08, 2011, 03:51:40 pm
I go to buy mah oranges in a moment, how many am I gonna need to win this (was thinking two bag, about 16 valencias).

I don't think 16 valencias is gonna do it, if 1.5 valencias = 1 navel.  Nigel did, what, a dozen last time?

That's 18 valencias, if she just holds steady and doesn't go for more.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 08, 2011, 03:52:32 pm
I'm at FOUR already bitches!
YOU SIMPERING CHIMPS HAD BETTER UNDERSTAND HOW SERIOUS I AM ABOUT THIS!
THIS: (https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/_95rnffkHSAk/TZ8f7W3TclI/AAAAAAAAATU/WfTJIByM3Yo/s1024/Picture0038.jpg)
IS HOW MY FIST LOOKS AFTER MY COWORKER ASKED FOR ONE OF MY ORANGES!
 (holy crap my webcam sucks with this light)

THATS RIGHT! ITS BLEEDING! BLEEDING ACIDIFIED HIGH VITAMIN C BLOOD!

AND I'M JUST GETTING STARTED.
YOU CIRCUMSIZED LITTLE GIRLS BETTER GIVE UP ALREADY, YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS ENOUGH TO BE ON THIS BATTLEFIELD!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 03:57:54 pm
Ho ho ho! So Regret can actually keep up with my turgid victorycock?

Enjoy it while you can, Koala-Felcher! Up to 5 just now!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 03:58:03 pm
I'm on my way for a leisurely stroll to the store right now, to collect my oranges.

It's all about pacing.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2011, 04:19:39 pm
*sits back and watches this time*

:popcorn:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 08, 2011, 04:19:53 pm
I'm on my way for a leisurely stroll to the store right now, to collect my oranges.

It's all about pacing.

Yeah, man. Pacing and starches.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 04:24:17 pm
I have to pack 'em in now because I'm going to a lab where I'll be handling toxic stuff for 3 hours today.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on April 08, 2011, 04:24:41 pm
7 ORANGES YUO SPAG MCMUFFINS.

Gonna need to reload my orange-sack full of juicy goodness.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 08, 2011, 04:26:43 pm
I have to pack 'em in now because I'm going to a lab where I'll be handling toxic stuff for 3 hours today.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 04:39:00 pm
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/208393_10150150386384069_710084068_6729103_4844072_n.jpg)

That's 11 pounds of big, solid Navels: 16 oranges in total. I just ate my first one at a calm, leisurely pace.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 04:39:30 pm
IT'S

GO

TIME!

AFTER COFFEE
without morning coffee i get really bad your addicted migraines
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 08, 2011, 04:41:21 pm
I can't play this time around, oranges that size are 2 for a dollar here.  :cry:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 04:45:45 pm
I can't play this time around, oranges that size are 2 for a dollar here.  :cry:

That's about what they are here, too; I just spent eight bucks on sixteen oranges.

But hell, I could have spent eight bucks on a cup of tea and a bagel, so what the hell?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on April 08, 2011, 04:49:26 pm
IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORK TODAY I'D SHOW YOU PANTY SNIFFERS WHAT'S UP!

I ATE A WHOLE BAG OF JELLY BEANS LAST NIGHT BEFORE NOTICING THE WARNING ON THE BAG THAT READ "excessive consumption may cause a laxative effect" SO MY GUTS ARE EMPTY!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2011, 04:50:51 pm
IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORK TODAY I'D SHOW YOU PANTY SNIFFERS WHAT'S UP!

I ATE A WHOLE BAG OF JELLY BEANS LAST NIGHT BEFORE NOTICING THE WARNING ON THE BAG THAT READ "excessive consumption may cause a laxative effect" SO MY GUTS ARE EMPTY!!

FUCK YEAH, SUGAR FREE JELLY BELLYS.


-Suu
Been there, done that. Squeaky clean intestines.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Richter on April 08, 2011, 04:55:56 pm
Yeah, the wax they put on those suckers will fly clear through you.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on April 08, 2011, 04:57:30 pm
Great.  Jelly bean craving.   :horrormirth:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 05:00:05 pm
What the hell kind of jellybeans ARE ALSO A LAXATIVE?

Speaking of which, TWO ORANGE DOWN, TIME TO RAKE A DUMP.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 05:11:21 pm
These Cara Cara oranges I bought are huge
 :sad:
and have 175% of my daily intake of vitamin C - per orange
 :eek:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2011, 05:17:55 pm
I just re-read this entire thread.

I laughed so goddamn hard out loud at work.

And then farted.

 :kingmeh:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 05:20:36 pm
AHH FUCK

YOU BASTARDS AND YOUR... NOT HITTING SNOOZE ON THE ALARM!

I MUST GET ORANGES!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 05:21:14 pm
These Cara Cara oranges I bought are huge
 :sad:
and have 175% of my daily intake of vitamin C - per orange
 :eek:

I almost got Cara Caras before I found these Navels on sale... mine are fucking ginormous too, about a half pound PER ORANGE.  :x
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Elder Iptuous on April 08, 2011, 05:52:49 pm
So, not having read through the whole thread... why isn't this being done by weight as to level the playing field?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 05:54:24 pm
So, not having read through the whole thread... why isn't this being done by weight as to level the playing field?

Because level fields are for PUSSIES.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on April 08, 2011, 06:01:06 pm
QUANTITY NOT ...QUAN...... TITTY?


FORGET IT!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on April 08, 2011, 06:03:10 pm
ZERO BITCHES. BEAT THAT. oh. damn. On a related note, i have determined that this contest is incredibly pointless and flat out insane. Even by Discordian standards. Needless to say, I approve.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 06:08:57 pm
I'm not starting until later.  I work better with deadline pressure.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 08, 2011, 06:13:48 pm
I'm not starting until later.  I work better with deadline pressure.
:lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2011, 06:40:01 pm
THIS IS NOT NEARLY AS EXCITING AS IT WAS LAST YEAR.

PLZ PEOPLE, CRAMULUS SHAT HIMSELF BY NOW LAST YEAR.

GET TO CITRUSIFYING YOURSELVES!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 06:49:05 pm
I'm not starting until later.  I work better with deadline pressure.

SIGMATIC, YOU COLLYMODDLING SOCKFUCKER!  IF YOU'RE GONNA WAIt, YOU MAY AS WELL DO IT TOMORROW WHEN ROUND TWO HAPPENS, SO THAT I HAVE SOME COMPETITION.  NOT THAT YOU'LL WIN ANYWAY.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 07:02:29 pm
WHY AM I STILL HERE?  I HAVE ERRANDS TO RUN!  SOONER STARTED, SOONER SHITTING STREAMS OF BURNING ORANGE DAY-GLO PULP.


BRB
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 07:03:36 pm
I'm not starting until later.  I work better with deadline pressure.

SIGMATIC, YOU COLLYMODDLING SOCKFUCKER!  IF YOU'RE GONNA WAIt, YOU MAY AS WELL DO IT TOMORROW WHEN ROUND TWO HAPPENS, SO THAT I HAVE SOME COMPETITION.  NOT THAT YOU'LL WIN ANYWAY.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 08, 2011, 07:07:30 pm
I've an 8 am flight in the morning following a 2 hour drive to the airport when I get off work at 4.

I'm pretty sure this is a bad fucking idea. And I will lose.

One orange down. Craving chipotle.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on April 08, 2011, 07:10:03 pm
I've an 8 am flight in the morning following a 2 hour drive to the airport when I get off work at 4.

I'm pretty sure this is a bad fucking idea. And I will lose.

One orange down. Craving chipotle.

Note to self, Google "Explosive acidic diarrhea on airplane" in the morning.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on April 08, 2011, 07:20:16 pm
I'm 4 oranges deep, pacing myself so as not to repeat last year's intestinal explosion.

happens to be a really busy day at work
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2011, 07:20:57 pm
pacing myself so as not to repeat last year's intestinal explosion.

Sport roont.   :sad:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 07:21:08 pm
Im at 6 and really sick to my stomach
I should have paced myself
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 08, 2011, 08:04:40 pm
I'm 5 in (valencias), 15 more to go for my goal.

Pictures will happen when/if I figure out how to get them off my camera.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on April 08, 2011, 08:05:18 pm
Im at 6 and really sick to my stomach
I should have paced myself

Ruling?  If you hurl, you're out?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on April 08, 2011, 08:06:30 pm
Im at 6 and really sick to my stomach
I should have paced myself

Ruling?  If you hurl, you're out?
Bullshit. If you hurl, you keep fucking going.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on April 08, 2011, 08:07:10 pm
Yeah... It seems that if you ate six oranges, then vomited up six oranges, and then kept eating fucking oranges, that would be pretty hardcore.  Plus, it would lead to more vomiting.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 08, 2011, 08:08:29 pm
Boot & Rally is the only acceptable strategy.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 08:12:02 pm
Yeah... It seems that if you ate six oranges, then vomited up six oranges, and then kept eating fucking oranges, that would be pretty hardcore.  Plus, it would lead to more vomiting.



THIS.

If you puke and keep going, YOU ARE A WINNER.

I'm at 5 oranges. Having a bit of chicken liver, then continuing with MORE FUCKING ORANGES.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 08, 2011, 08:15:22 pm
You stand no chance, oranges are what I eat when I'm trying *not* to throw up.  Also 7.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on April 08, 2011, 08:15:44 pm
I'm at 10, bitches! Gonna get another bag tonight.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 08, 2011, 08:21:09 pm
8, That was a damned good snack.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 08, 2011, 08:46:31 pm
I hereby invoke pics or it didn't god damn happen.

(http://i.imgur.com/BniPw.jpg)

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 08:47:25 pm
8 lb bag of navel oranges?  You bet your INTESTINES.  

Just ate a whole one in a couple bites.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 08, 2011, 08:48:18 pm
also, i'm on slice number 4 of orange number 3.

tomorrow's going to suck.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 08:49:16 pm
I hereby invoke pics or it didn't god damn happen.



I swallowed up the whole state of California with my ass.
But there was sun flare.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 08, 2011, 08:49:33 pm
As I said, pics will happen when I figure the damned phone out (its the only camera I have).

Also 10.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 08:54:55 pm
ORANGE TWO:  THOROUGHLY MASTICATED.  THE CLOYING TANG OF RIND OIL HANGS IN THE AIR.  I CAN SMELL THE FEAR IN THE BAG OF ORANGES.  THEY KNOW WHAT COMES.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 08, 2011, 08:55:07 pm
As I said, pics will happen when I figure the damned phone out (its the only camera I have).

Also 10.

You could always just text your orange pics to me and i'll upload them for you via bluetooth.

 :D
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on April 08, 2011, 08:56:31 pm
10? 10? Oh, shit, time for me to reload, muthafucka!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on April 08, 2011, 08:57:15 pm
I NEED MORE BOMBAST FROM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.


"Oh, I just ate another"  ISN'T GONNA FUCKING CUT IT.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 08:57:24 pm
Just broke into orange #6 to wash down my snack of sauteed chicken livers.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 08, 2011, 08:57:36 pm
ORANGE TWO:  THOROUGHLY MASTICATED.  THE CLOYING TANG OF RIND OIL HANGS IN THE AIR.  I CAN SMELL THE FEAR IN THE BAG OF ORANGES.  THEY KNOW WHAT COMES.


(http://i.imgur.com/pXUeQ.jpg)

I MADE THEM FUCKING WATCH AS I DEVOURED THEIR KIN IN A MANNER GALACTUS HIMSELF WOULD HAVE ADMIRED
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 08:57:42 pm
Ok first thing Im starting to notice
Everytime I cut one up I get all exited and craving it their sweet, sexy orange juices.
Then I just find eating them now so depressing
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 08, 2011, 08:59:32 pm
10? 10? Oh, shit, time for me to reload, muthafucka!


I'm the only one eating Valencias (I think) So you'd still be winning.

Kinda hungry though.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 09:00:31 pm
I NEED MORE BOMBAST FROM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.


"Oh, I just ate another"  ISN'T GONNA FUCKING CUT IT.

I KNOW RIGHT? THESE TURD RACING ASSMONKEYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO THROW DOWN VERBALLY.  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT. FUCK!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 08, 2011, 09:02:55 pm
I NEED MORE BOMBAST FROM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.


"Oh, I just ate another"  ISN'T GONNA FUCKING CUT IT.

I KNOW RIGHT? THESE TURD RACING ASSMONKEYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO THROW DOWN VERBALLY.  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT. FUCK!

HEY!
FUCK YOU BOTH. I HAD A LATE GOD DAMNED START. IM FUCKING WORKING ON BRINGING THE PAIN FOR YOU FUCKING ORANGINAS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 08, 2011, 09:04:23 pm
Very well.

Fuckers I ate 10 oranges already, and this counts as a NORMAL GODDAMED DAY for me.

That better?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 09:05:44 pm
I'M GETTING RENAISSANCE ON THESE MOTHERFUCKERS.

WHAT'S THAT, I HEAR YOU ASKING?

IT INVOLVES A FLYING SCREW, A NEW APPROACH TO METAPHYSICS, A PLAGUE, A STEAM CANNON, AND A VICIOUSLY REDECORATED CHURCH CEILING.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 09:07:10 pm
9
My stomach is ironically very stable, full, but I feel really sluggish for some reason. I thought vitamin C was suppose to make you feel better.

After this craziness I plan to go to McDonalds (haven't been there in years)

I have no plans in surviving this day.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 08, 2011, 09:11:06 pm
After this craziness I plan to go to McDonalds haven't been there in years)


I ate a god damned burrito from Chipotle between oranges 1 and 2.

I may not win the consumption contest, but I'll be GOD DAMNED if I don't fucking win superlative for the worst case of rim burn.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on April 08, 2011, 09:11:13 pm
Do you want to know why everyone is being calm?

It's because ALL OF THESE SPUNK MONKEYS KNOW THAT I AM THE SUPERIOR ORANGE CONSUMING MACHINE AND THAT I AM GOING TO WIN THE PRIZE*, FOR I'M GOING TO DEVOUR ANOTHER BAG TONIGHT LIKE THE FUCKING ORANGE EATING LEVIATHAN THAT I AM!

The prize, of course, being a two night stay in my bathroom.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 09:13:56 pm
FOUR DOWN.  THIRTEEN TO GO.  YOU FUCKS SHOULD JUST QUIT WHILE YOU HAVE AN ASS, AND SEND ME YOUR GODDAMNED ORANGES.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 09:16:36 pm
I HIT 10 CARA CARA'S
break time
I think my body has died but my brain hasn't figured it out yet.
soooo bloated
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 09:18:00 pm
WHATEVS, SIGGY.  YOU BEST PUT ON A PRETTY DRESS AND CALL ME YOUR DADDY, BECAUSE YOU'LL BE BEGGING ME TO STOP FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS, YES

THE ASS

WHEN I START EATING MY FUCKING ORANGES.  ALL OF YOU, IN FACT, WILL BE DOWN ON YOUR KNEES SUCKING MY AWESOMELY HUGE ORANGE EATING COCK, CRYING AND PLEADING NOT TO FUCK YOU ANYMORE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 09:22:18 pm
PROMISES, FRACTURE.  NAVEL ORANGE NUMBER FIVE, INDEED FIVE, WOULD HAVE WORDS WITH YOUR SILLY LITTLE TANGELOS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 09:24:09 pm
FUCK ME RUNNING, BUT YOU GOT SOME BALLS, DON'T YOU? YOU KNOW THE ADVANTAGE OF NOT PARTICIPATING IN ROUND 1? I CAN BUY MORE ORANGES BEFORE HAND, AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR PASTY ASS.

WHAT.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 09:25:04 pm
huh
if my pee was anymore yellow it would be glowing
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 09:26:37 pm
YOU CAN TRY, BUT SOON THE STREAM OF USED ORANGES COMING OUT OF ME WILL BE SOLID ENOUGH TO PRESSURE WASH MY CAR.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 09:27:01 pm
FOUR DOWN.  THIRTEEN TO GO.  YOU FUCKS SHOULD JUST QUIT WHILE YOU HAVE AN ASS, AND SEND ME YOUR GODDAMNED ORANGES.

WAIT, YOU'RE EATING SEVENTEEN OF THE MOTHERFUCKERS? FUUUUUUUUCK

THAT MEANS I HAVE TO GO BUY TWO MORE.


LMNO MY EXPERIENCE FROM LAST YEAR IS THAT THERE'S SO MUCH FIBER IN THESE MOTHERFUCKERS THAT IT WILL FUCK YOU THE FUCK UP AND YOUR GUT WILL BE STUFFED FULL OF ORANGE FIBER, MAKING YOU SLUGGISH AND SAD AND BLOATED. I WISH I WAS EATING VALENCIAS NOW BUT VALENCIAS ARE FOR PUSSIES 'CAUSE THEY'RE LITTLE JUICY MOTHERFUCKERS. VALENCIAS ARE FOR FUCKERS WHO CAN'T

FACE THE FIBER.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 09:30:24 pm
OH, NOW NIGEL BE STEPPIN.  NIGEL, YOU KNOW I THINK YOU'RE AWESOME, BUT HOLY FUCK IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO CRINGE AWAY FROM THIS CHALLENGE BECAUSE YOU'RE TRASH TALKIN MY VALENCIAS, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO THINK AGAIN.  MOTHERFUCKER, I WILL END YOUR EXISTENCE BY TAKING THE CROWN THIS YEAR.  OH FUCK, WHAT'S THAT I HEAR? I HEAR THE SOUND OF ALL OF YOU FUCKERS WEEPING AT MY GREATNESS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 09:31:47 pm
I'M NOTHING BUT FIBER.


FIBER AND STRIFE.  


Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 09:32:46 pm
YEAH, LITTLE FIBER.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 09:34:46 pm
OH GOD WHAT.  THE ORANGES HAVE GIVEN ME THE POWER TO SMELL MY OWN FARTS.  AND THEY SMELL EXACTLY LIKE SHIT SMELLS.  THIS IS HORRIBLE!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 09:35:29 pm
 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 09:36:07 pm
EAT ONE MILLION DICKS, ALL OF YOU

BECAUSE YOU WHORESNUFFLERS WILL HAVE WAY MORE LUCK WITH DICKS THAN YOU WILL WITH EATING ENOUGH ORANGES TO BEAT MY CHAMPION SUPER-ASS


I HAVE 7 ORANGES INSIDE OF MY BODY, HAVEN'T POOPED YET, AND JUST BOUGHT 11 MORE





EIGHTEEN BOB-DAMNED HORSEFELLATING NAVEL ORANGES BIGGER EVEN THAN MY ALPHA MALE TURBO-BALLS



also, I too am farting like a KING
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 09:37:43 pm
CAINAD YOU ABSOLUTE HIPPO-DICKER.  ONE MORE THAN I BOUGHT?  FUCK YOUR SOCKS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 09:39:19 pm
THIS THREAD IS STARTING TO GIVE ME CONSTIPATION.

FROM BOREDOM.

DELIVER MAKE WAY FOR THE REAL CHAMPS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 08, 2011, 09:39:27 pm
I NEED MORE BOMBAST FROM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.


"Oh, I just ate another"  ISN'T GONNA FUCKING CUT IT.


THE SCREEN ON YOUR PANSY-ASS MACBOOK PRO DOESN'T HAVE ROOM FOR MY BRAND OF BOMBAST, YOU PH-BALANCED, NUTRITION PYRAMID-EATING YUPPIE.

THIS IS NOT A SPECTATOR SPORT FOR THE FEINT OF HEART. NO FEWER THAN THE CARCASSES OF SEVEN SPHERICAL, FLAME-HUED FRUITS NOW LIE IN MY BOWL.

I HOPE YOU BROUGHT YOUR PONCHO FROM THE GHALLAGER SHOW, PUSSY.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 08, 2011, 09:39:31 pm
UNTIL I SEE A GOD DAMNED PICTURE OF 18 MOTHER FUCKING NAVEL ORANGES I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS HORSESHIT YOURE SELLING
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 09:40:07 pm
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

I ONLY HAVE SIXTEEN ORANGES, ARE YOU TELLING ME I HAVE TO GO BUY THREE MORE???
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 09:43:10 pm
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

I ONLY HAVE SIXTEEN ORANGES, ARE YOU TELLING ME I HAVE TO GO BUY THREE MORE???

FIVE*


*though I don't think Ill make 20.
I've finished 10 and Im dead inside.
 :oops:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 09:46:40 pm
I'm on #7

This one's DELICIOUS!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2011, 09:47:01 pm
I'm on #7

This one's DELICIOUS!

I love it when they're extra delicious!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 09:47:55 pm
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

I ONLY HAVE SIXTEEN ORANGES, ARE YOU TELLING ME I HAVE TO GO BUY THREE MORE???

FIVE*


*though I don't think Ill make 20.
I've finished 10 and Im dead inside.
 :oops:

Yeah, that was what I noticed last year. Up to eight and they were still pretty good. By ten I had lost my will to live.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 09:48:24 pm
THIS IS THE SUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE
 :argh!:
DAMN YOU ALL

MY BURBS HAVE HEARTBURN
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 09:48:29 pm
I'm on #7

This one's DELICIOUS!

I love it when they're extra delicious!

It's like the little boost I need to get me through!

I hope I don't have any more dry ones.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 09:50:01 pm
LOOK AT THESE DESPONDENT LITTLE SONS OF BITCHES
(http://i518.photobucket.com/albums/u346/heinous_simian/IMG_20110408_134631.jpg)

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 09:51:18 pm
 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 09:51:37 pm
Posting that on the event wall, if you don't mind...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 09:52:36 pm
MAKE IT SO  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 08, 2011, 09:53:17 pm
LOOK AT THESE DESPONDENT LITTLE SONS OF BITCHES
(http://i518.photobucket.com/albums/u346/heinous_simian/IMG_20110408_134631.jpg)



FUCKING A RIGHT  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 09:57:25 pm
SIX DOWN

SIGMATIC, WHAT THINGS ARE BEST IN LIFE?

TO EAT CITRUS, TO DOODLE ON THE PEELS, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR ORCHARDS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 08, 2011, 09:59:32 pm


I HOPE YOU BROUGHT YOUR PONCHO FROM THE GHALLAGER SHOW, PUSSY.


:lulz:

:potd:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on April 08, 2011, 10:00:07 pm
SIX DOWN

SIGMATIC, WHAT THINGS ARE BEST IN LIFE?

TO EAT CITRUS, TO DOODLE ON THE PEELS, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR ORCHARDS.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on April 08, 2011, 10:01:50 pm
THIS IS THE SUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE
 :argh!:
DAMN YOU ALL

MY BURBS HAVE HEARTBURN

Wait for it.  That's not the end you're gonna have to worry about.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 10:04:54 pm
CAINAD YOU ABSOLUTE HIPPO-DICKER.  ONE MORE THAN I BOUGHT?  FUCK YOUR SOCKS.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU BOUGHT YOUR ONE-WAY TICKET TO SELF-INFLICTED ANUS FAILURE TOWN

GOD IT'S LIKE I'M DEALING WITH 100 FROGLICKERS WHO ARE ALL GANGBANGING YOUR 3RD GRADE TEACHER BEHIND A DUMPSTER, HERE


UNTIL I SEE A GOD DAMNED PICTURE OF 18 MOTHER FUCKING NAVEL ORANGES I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS HORSESHIT YOURE SELLING

:cramstipated: KISS MY ASS

First six from this morning:
(http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5150/5601580764_27a6963b9c_z.jpg)

almost done...
(http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5025/5601581432_f2e00c4390_z.jpg)

BOUGHT AN EXTRA AT SCHOOL, BITCHES
(http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5064/5600997569_f28f1cb7e0.jpg)


And now the GRAND FUCKING FINALE:

(http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5110/5600998005_8d9b05663d.jpg)

(http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5108/5601581988_c32043d016.jpg)

^ That's right hosedicks, EIGHT MORE POUNDS OF ORANGES
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2011, 10:06:36 pm
I FUCKING LOVE THIS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 10:06:44 pm
YOU MUST BE MARRIED TO AN ORCHARD.  WHERE IN THE UTERUS DID YOU GET ALL THOSE ORANGES?!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: East Coast Hustle on April 08, 2011, 10:10:26 pm
The moral of this thread?


eating oranges until your intestines explode out of your body in a spray of shitty pink spackle isn't normal, but on ANUS HARM it is.


ANUS HARM


Not even once.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 08, 2011, 10:12:41 pm


(http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5108/5601581988_c32043d016.jpg)

^ That's right hosedicks, EIGHT MORE POUNDS OF ORANGES


Christ.  :mittens:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2011, 10:13:05 pm
I am laughing so goddamn hard, I can't breathe!!

 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 10:14:20 pm
YOU MUST BE MARRIED TO AN ORCHARD.  WHERE IN THE UTERUS DID YOU GET ALL THOSE ORANGES?!

GROCERY STORE(S) IS 5 MINUTES AWAY



MAN, THESE ORANGES FROM WILD BY NATURE ARE WAY THE FUCK BETTER THAN THOSE DRY WRINKLY GRAMMA-BUTT ORANGES FROM STOP AND SHOP, AND ALSO THEY'RE BIGGER!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 10:21:09 pm
FUCK MY LIFE


ONE OF THESE ORANGES IS BAD! :crankey:

Guess I'll only be gobbling 17 oranges today. :cry:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 10:24:34 pm
HAHAHA!  YESSSSSSS

BACK IN THE GAME

I'M UNSTOPPABLE, MY FURY IS TANGERI-ER, TANGI- YOU CAN TASTE IT.  YEAH!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 10:26:59 pm
ITS TANGIBLE, FUCKWIT.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 10:28:16 pm
SO YOU ADMIT IT!  8)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 10:28:27 pm
HAHAHA!  YESSSSSSS

BACK IN THE GAME

I'M UNSTOPPABLE, MY FURY IS TANGERI-ER, TANGI- YOU CAN TASTE IT.  YEAH!

OH NO YOU FUCKING DON'T YOU BOARD CERTIFIED GRANITE HUMPER

I'MA BUY MORE FUCKING ORANGES IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO CAPSIZE YOUR DOUBLE-HULLED ASS ON THE HIGH SEAS OF FUCK YOU





oh my god so much farting... how can there even be this much gas in my body I don't understand
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 10:30:27 pm
YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN!  RUN ON HOME TO EAT SOME TUMS AND HAVE YOUR MOM HOLD YOUR HAIR WHILE YOU VOMIT

LIKE A SISSY
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2011, 10:31:04 pm

I'MA BUY MORE FUCKING ORANGES IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO CAPSIZE YOUR DOUBLE-HULLED ASS ON THE HIGH SEAS OF FUCK YOU


I lost it. My neighbors turned up their music I'm wailing so loud.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 10:35:27 pm
THEY TOLD ME ITS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS.

BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING, SPAGLORDS?

MY WIND SMELLS PRETTY ILL RIGHT NOW, AND IT IS BLOWING MY MIND.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 10:36:27 pm
SIX MORE TO GO

(http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5223/5601093771_086ef64549_z.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 10:37:12 pm

Ok Im not going to lie

I almost threw up





so what did I do?











Cut up more oranges....
(http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a139/ThornIs/P4080003-1.jpg)








Im a fucking idiot
(http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a139/ThornIs/P4080004.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2011, 10:43:49 pm
DOIN IT RIGHT!




CHRIST, JUST LOOKING AT THESE ORANGES MAKE MY ESOPHAGUS BURN AND MY ASS FEEL RAEP'D.


I DO NOT PITY YOU FOLK FOR WHAT IS ABOUT TO COME.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 11:08:03 pm
EAT

UNTIL WE

DIE!!!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 08, 2011, 11:16:33 pm
MY STOMACH FEELS STRANGELY COLD.  I MAY DIE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 11:16:50 pm
wow it feels good to brush my teeth after that

brief recovery period, then I am totally back on point
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2011, 11:17:23 pm
EAT

UNTIL WE

DIE!!!!!

BEST

DARWIN AWARDS

EVER
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 08, 2011, 11:25:11 pm
If this were a spectator sport, the audience would be required to wear galoshes and plastic ponchos just in case they ended up in the 'splash zone'. People with a citrus allergy would be screened.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 08, 2011, 11:26:48 pm
Let me as a question: if a bunch of us are neck-and-neck, say, at like the 16-orange-mark and a bunch drop out, what breaks the tie? Is it pieces? or whole oranges only?

I kind of like the idea of people duking it out til the bitter end in increments, daring each other to eat just one more segment...like up-bidding each other in some kind of ascorbic acid-soaked auction house until we're puking up our own Tripe a' L'Orange.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2011, 11:27:49 pm
The tie breaker is what results after ingesting all the fruit.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 08, 2011, 11:29:34 pm
Yeah, the more hilarious version of events is the winne.r
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 08, 2011, 11:30:08 pm
how come I no longer taste the oranges?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2011, 11:30:50 pm
how come I no longer taste the oranges?

You guys are fucking stupid.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on April 08, 2011, 11:31:14 pm
I dunno. I kinda like Macbething it. Y'know "Lay on Macduff! And damned be he who first cries 'Hold! Enough!'"
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on April 08, 2011, 11:31:42 pm
how come I no longer taste the oranges?
The acid has finally destroyed your taste buds.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2011, 11:32:02 pm
I dunno. I kinda like Macbething it. Y'know "Lay on Macduff! And damned be he who first cries 'Hold! Enough!'"

"Soooo...Whatever happened to the Discordians?"
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 11:37:46 pm
Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.


I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 11:44:00 pm
Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.


I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.

 :lulz: Get used to it

All that fiber affects people differently. And it is a LOT of fiber.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 11:44:37 pm
The effects will last several days.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2011, 11:46:11 pm
I feel fine at the moment, just wondering when the Nuclear Assplosion is gonna actually happen. I have some pretty impressive ironguts, but I certainly don't expect them to handle this without something weird going on.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 11:47:12 pm
There will be bloating, soon, unless you get the runs.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 08, 2011, 11:53:32 pm
Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.


I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.

12 navels or 12 valencias?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2011, 11:57:14 pm
Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.


I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.

12 navels or 12 valencias?

As far as I know, you are the only person eating Valencias.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 08, 2011, 11:58:54 pm
I feel fine at the moment, just wondering when the Nuclear Assplosion is gonna actually happen. I have some pretty impressive ironguts, but I certainly don't expect them to handle this without something weird going on.

It's coming. Trust me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 08, 2011, 11:59:33 pm
I like oranges too much to ruin them for myself this way but if you guys ever do a blueberry or cherry eating contest, let me know. I'd sacrifice those fruits on the altar of self-destructive retardation.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 09, 2011, 12:02:20 am
BLUEBERRIES?  CHERRIES?  WHERE IS THE STUPID IN THAT?  I ASK YOU.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 09, 2011, 12:03:15 am
BLUEBERRIES?  CHERRIES?  WHERE IS THE STUPID IN THAT?  I ASK YOU.

Ah, well. On the plus side if you eat lots of cherries and puke, you'll look like you're hurking blood. And then with blueberries, there's always the purple poo that's good for a laugh.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 09, 2011, 12:03:33 am
BLUEBERRIES?  CHERRIES?  WHERE IS THE STUPID IN THAT?  I ASK YOU.

The stupid is that blueberries are like $5 a pint.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 12:04:38 am
Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.


I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.

12 navels or 12 valencias?

As far as I know, you are the only person eating Valencias.

Hmm, I need to catch up then, I'm only at 16 Vs.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 09, 2011, 12:05:45 am
BLUEBERRIES?  CHERRIES?  WHERE IS THE STUPID IN THAT?  I ASK YOU.

The stupid is that blueberries are like $5 a pint.

Is it cheating if you just go outside and pick them instead of buying them?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 12:06:14 am
ANNNND NINE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 12:07:26 am
Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.


I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.

12 navels or 12 valencias?

As far as I know, you are the only person eating Valencias.

Hmm, I need to catch up then, I'm only at 16 Vs.

 :lulz: I don't think we should even allow them next year... they just don't have the fuck-you-upness of Navels. Not enough pulp.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 12:09:33 am
Should do it earlier in the year then, my biggest motivators on Valencias is that they're a third the price of navels here and now.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on April 09, 2011, 12:15:36 am
I dunno. I kinda like Macbething it. Y'know "Lay on Macduff! And damned be he who first cries 'Hold! Enough!'"

"Soooo...Whatever happened to the Discordians?"
This is why I'm not eating oranges.  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 09, 2011, 12:20:10 am
You and me both, sister. I did this shit last year. I did NOT know what I was getting into. 11 cara cara oranges? I should have been dead.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 09, 2011, 12:21:24 am
You and me both, sister. I did this shit last year. I did NOT know what I was getting into. 11 cara cara oranges? I should have been dead.

Im 13 Cara Cara's...  :sad:
I have to go to the washroom but Im scared
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on April 09, 2011, 12:31:40 am
What kind of mucus slurping clothesline of butts has to bestow upon themselves a head start in this game whose finish line lies a luxurious 7 hours out?

Well guess what simpering sandbaggers? My iron gut will crush you just like the paper cup you've been crying into all day—you pale flimsy, unrecyclable vassals of corporate dick cheese.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 09, 2011, 12:32:57 am
There will be bloating, soon, unless you get the runs.

Bloating. Check.

I got 10 in me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on April 09, 2011, 12:34:08 am
You and me both, sister. I did this shit last year. I did NOT know what I was getting into. 11 cara cara oranges? I should have been dead.

Im 13 Cara Cara's...  :sad:
I have to go to the washroom but Im scared

Check in with the story when you're through in there.  Mostly for the funny, but also so we know you didn't prolapse yourself to death.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 12:35:37 am
Should do it earlier in the year then, my biggest motivators on Valencias is that they're a third the price of navels here and now.

They're twice the price of Navels HERE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 09, 2011, 12:37:18 am
I got valencias because they were 4 lb. bags for 2 bucks.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 12:38:10 am
Should do it earlier in the year then, my biggest motivators on Valencias is that they're a third the price of navels here and now.

They're twice the price of Navels HERE.

wtf?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 12:39:33 am
I got valencias because they were 4 lb. bags for 2 bucks.

That's pretty close to what the Navels are here.

I like Valencias better, truth be told. Maybe we should do ALL VALENCIAS next year!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 12:40:15 am
Should do it earlier in the year then, my biggest motivators on Valencias is that they're a third the price of navels here and now.

They're twice the price of Navels HERE.

wtf?

Apparently California Navel oranges are in season right now.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 12:41:01 am
I always thought they ripened in like December or something, but that must be the Florida ones.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 09, 2011, 12:42:41 am
I always thought they ripened in like December or something, but that must be the Florida ones.

Florida oranges are only in season from November to December. And they are far superior to California navels...Cali just has them now.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 12:43:21 am
I have just very slowly worked my way through Valencia 18, which means I've matched the old record.  I also need to take a visit to the bathroom.  If I don't come back blame Cramulus for it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Zenpeanut on April 09, 2011, 12:46:34 am
How the hell are you guys doing this? I've eaten 8.5 so far with another bag of 7, but 8 pounds? Lunacy.

Also, the house now officially wreaks of citrus
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 12:52:43 am
The bathroom has a smell that would make a Nessie run away.  Other than that I feel fine.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 09, 2011, 12:55:45 am
The bathroom has a smell that would make a Nessie run away.  Other than that I feel fine.

A Nessie would just think you were a new flavor of ambulatory dinner.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 01:10:07 am
I'm at ten, and I am now shitting pure orange pulp.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 01:11:44 am
The bathroom has a smell that would make a Nessie run away.  Other than that I feel fine.

A Nessie would just think you were a new flavor of ambulatory dinner.

I also don't smell like the bathroom.  Thank god.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 09, 2011, 01:15:12 am
I just made the connection between "oranges" and the discordian day "orange."

Was that ever intended?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 01:16:40 am
isn't today pugenday though?  Or did you mean in general.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 09, 2011, 01:19:02 am
I guess.  I don't keep track.  I was just drawing correlations.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: CorbeauEtRenard on April 09, 2011, 01:19:26 am
From the sounds of things, all the oranges are making things pretty pungent.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 09, 2011, 01:23:57 am
Ooogh...  I just finished my 11th.  So, that's happy.

The remaining oranges are looking smug.  They think they've beaten me.

They've never met anyone intent on eating a whole 8lb bag of oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2011, 01:27:54 am
Ooogh...  I just finished my 11th.  So, that's happy.

The remaining oranges are looking smug.  They think they've beaten me.

They've never met anyone intent on eating a whole 8lb bag of oranges.

You're all going to die.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 09, 2011, 01:29:37 am
15
I went to the washroom
wasn't horrifying and only burned a little

I feel it's going to be much much worse tomorrow then today


also to call this heart burn is understatement
the entire frontal body is burning...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 01:31:51 am
THIS IS MY LAST ORANGE FUCKERS

10 pounds of oranges.  20 Valencias.

Ooogh...  I just finished my 11th.  So, that's happy.

The remaining oranges are looking smug.  They think they've beaten me.

They've never met anyone intent on eating a whole 8lb bag of oranges.

You're all going to die.
No, we'll just wish we're dead.   :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 09, 2011, 01:32:48 am
The great part of this is that if I don't win, I get a nice little schadenfreude consolation prize.  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 01:54:23 am
Ooogh...  I just finished my 11th.  So, that's happy.

The remaining oranges are looking smug.  They think they've beaten me.

They've never met anyone intent on eating a whole 8lb bag of oranges.

You're all going to die.

OH MY GOD YOUR FUCKING AVATAR

IT'S FUCKING TERRIFYING!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 01:55:18 am
15
I went to the washroom
wasn't horrifying and only burned a little

I feel it's going to be much much worse tomorrow then today


also to call this heart burn is understatement
the entire frontal body is burning...

I don't know if I can beat you.

I do know that if I make it to sixteen, I will have consumed ELEVEN POUNDS OF ORANGES.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 09, 2011, 01:56:26 am
Ooogh...  I just finished my 11th.  So, that's happy.

The remaining oranges are looking smug.  They think they've beaten me.

They've never met anyone intent on eating a whole 8lb bag of oranges.

You're all going to die.

Your avatar almost made me shit myself.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 01:56:55 am
I just have to announce that Stella has eaten EIGHT FUCKING TEEN California Navel oranges so far.

SHE IS A MONSTER.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 02:00:54 am
I finally finished Valencia 20.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 09, 2011, 02:01:27 am
Eight...teen...

 :cry:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 02:02:41 am
Eight...teen...

 :cry:

Yeah. I am wondering if I should throw in the towel now. I'm concerned that I will eat the six remaining oranges, only to log onto Facebook and find her breezily announcing that she ate four more just for kicks.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 09, 2011, 02:04:55 am
I remember having just eaten my first orange today.  Ah, such innocent times.  Such vigor and youthful enthusiasm...

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 02:04:58 am
OK: Stella's in Texas. That gives me what, a two-hour edge? I am going to the store for more oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 09, 2011, 02:07:47 am
Ok Im out
I just ate number 16 and only have 1 left
but after learning Stella took out 18...

fuck
18 Navels
and Requia with 20 Valencia's

The women have beaten me
 :sad:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on April 09, 2011, 02:08:55 am
Ok Im out
I just ate number 16 and only have 1 left
but after learning Stella took out 18...

fuck
18 Navels
and Requia with 20 Valencia's

The women have beaten me
 :sad:
PUUUUUSSSSSY.  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2011, 02:13:12 am
Ok Im out
I just ate number 16 and only have 1 left
but after learning Stella took out 18...

fuck
18 Navels
and Requia with 20 Valencia's

The women have beaten me
 :sad:

And I've come out ahead of them.

Because my digestive tract isn't an ulcerated nightmare, and I will take a good, solid shit tonight.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 09, 2011, 02:14:27 am
I am considering withdrawing altogether.  It's not as much fun when there isn't anyone else doing it.

Also, I used up all my large, captial letters today. :sad:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 02:17:08 am
I think I have to stop where I am, I was considering 5 more to beat out Nigel, but competing with Stella would kill me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on April 09, 2011, 02:17:30 am
Ok Im out
I just ate number 16 and only have 1 left
but after learning Stella took out 18...

fuck
18 Navels
and Requia with 20 Valencia's

The women have beaten me
 :sad:

And I've come out ahead of them.

Because my digestive tract isn't an ulcerated nightmare, and I will take a good, solid shit tonight.
But, hey, if you're going to destoy your colon, might as well, go for broke, right?  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 02:20:00 am
On the plus side, I actually ate enough folate today.  I can't wait to tell my doctor how I did it.   :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 02:20:24 am
I am awaiting Stella's reply about how many more she is going to eat. Seriously, she doesn't even sound PHASED. Like eighteen large oranges washed down with a Budweiser is all in a day's work.  :x
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 09, 2011, 02:21:03 am
On the plus side, I actually ate enough folate today.  I can't wait to tell my doctor how I did it.   :lulz:

We need a pic of his reaction when you tell him you just ate 20 oranges in one day.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 02:21:41 am
I am considering withdrawing altogether.  It's not as much fun when there isn't anyone else doing it.

Also, I used up all my large, captial letters today. :sad:

There's always next year! And just consider... you managed to get countless people all over the fucking world to make themselves sick on oranges, and you didn't even eat ONE.  :argh!:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 09, 2011, 02:22:31 am
I am considering withdrawing altogether.  It's not as much fun when there isn't anyone else doing it.

Also, I used up all my large, captial letters today. :sad:

There's always next year! And just consider... you managed to get countless people all over the fucking world to make themselves sick on oranges, and you didn't even eat ONE.  :argh!:


You're right.  VICTORY IS MINE!!! :jebus:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 02:23:02 am
On the plus side, I actually ate enough folate today.  I can't wait to tell my doctor how I did it.   :lulz:

We need a pic of his reaction when you tell him you just ate 20 oranges in one day.

That's a lot of goddamn oranges

as of right now, you are ahead of me, Valencias and everything. I am on orange #11 and seriously wondering if I should give up. My body is starting to sweat citronella.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 09, 2011, 02:28:54 am
15 and I still feel great. I got two more valencias in the meantime to replace the rotten one, so I can make it to 18. But Bob dammit now I have to BEAT 18?! Fuck my life.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 02:29:09 am
The Facebook event wall is also pretty funny: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=155041761226218&notif_t=event_wall#!/event.php?eid=155041761226218

Not as funny as here, though.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 02:30:22 am
15 and I still feel great. I got two more valencias in the meantime to replace the rotten one, so I can make it to 18. But Bob dammit now I have to BEAT 18?! Fuck my life.

What time zone are you in? I'm trying to figure out if it's worth continuing.

These oranges are dishearteningly large.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 03:10:02 am
TALK TO ME

I'M AT 13

I HAVE FIVE HOURS TO EAT SIX ORANGES IF I WANT TO BEAT STELLA

DO I KEEP ON GOING?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 09, 2011, 03:11:52 am
DO IT
DO IT
DO IT
DO IT
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 03:13:21 am
Stop, cause I want to take 2nd place  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on April 09, 2011, 03:17:55 am
THE WALL



IS THAT WAY.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on April 09, 2011, 03:18:38 am
REMEMBER MACBETH, NIGEL!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 03:19:25 am
I think that right now, Thurnez is in 2nd with 16 Cara Caras, and Cainad is in 3rd with 15 Navels.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 03:19:53 am
Maybe I should take a long walk, to get things moving.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 09, 2011, 03:20:59 am
The toilet is officially broken
details later
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 09, 2011, 03:21:33 am
I don't think Stella is a fair contestant.

Her surname is precisely the sound that the human mouth makes when consuming an orange at a frightening speed.

For all we know, it signifies a long line of orange devourers.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 03:23:28 am
I think that right now, Thurnez is in 2nd with 16 Cara Caras, and Cainad is in 3rd with 15 Navels.

Hell I'm not even in the running even with beating the old record am I.  In that case go for it Nigel.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 03:25:22 am
I think that right now, Thurnez is in 2nd with 16 Cara Caras, and Cainad is in 3rd with 15 Navels.

Hell I'm not even in the running even with beating the old record am I.  In that case go for it Nigel.

I don't even know if I can.  :x I haven't heard from Stella whether she's planning on continuing to casually destroy oranges with no noticeable gastric upset.

THAT WOMAN IS A MONSTER.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 03:26:45 am
EFO says: "Seriously, I would pity you, but this... this is the stupidest thing ever."
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 03:30:11 am
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/215086_10150150712369069_710084068_6731301_4286105_n.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 03:31:21 am
I don't think Stella is a fair contestant.

Her surname is precisely the sound that the human mouth makes when consuming an orange at a frightening speed.

For all we know, it signifies a long line of orange devourers.

I think this is probably likely.

At any rate, anyone who demolishes 18 large oranges before 9 pm, and washes it down with a Budweiser, is probably one of Them.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 09, 2011, 03:33:44 am
the res had to call the plumber during his evening off..

when he gets here and asks whats wrong Im going to respond, "I ate nothing but oranges all day."
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 03:36:42 am
the res had to call the plumber during his evening off..

when he gets here and asks whats wrong Im going to respond, "I ate nothing but oranges all day."

 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 09, 2011, 03:38:06 am
EFO says: "Seriously, I would pity you, but this... this is the stupidest thing ever."

AHAHAHA -gasp-

the res had to call the plumber during his evening off..

when he gets here and asks whats wrong Im going to respond, "I ate nothing but oranges all day."

HAHAHA

HA
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 09, 2011, 03:54:27 am
20

Fucking

Oranges

Eat my triumphant orange sherbet jizz


Oh my god fuck you all, I still haven't shat


All of these oranges are inside of me you fucks.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 09, 2011, 03:59:16 am
I'M 28 YEAR OLD AND DRUN KWHAT IS THIS?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 09, 2011, 04:23:10 am
20

Fucking

Oranges

Eat my triumphant orange sherbet jizz


Oh my god fuck you all, I still haven't shat


All of these oranges are inside of me you fucks.

wow when they come out
that is going to burn
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 04:24:02 am
I've been ok so far, though I'm not all bottled up like Cainad.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 09, 2011, 04:35:27 am
20

Fucking

Oranges

Eat my triumphant orange sherbet jizz


Oh my god fuck you all, I still haven't shat


All of these oranges are inside of me you fucks.

wow when they come out
that is going to burn

It's going to be downright explosive.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 04:35:37 am
20

Fucking

Oranges

Eat my triumphant orange sherbet jizz


Oh my god fuck you all, I still haven't shat


All of these oranges are inside of me you fucks.

OH FUCK YOU

JUST.... FUCK YOU!

In order to beat that I would have to go to the goddamn store AGAIN.

NO. FUCKING. WAY.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 04:37:14 am
I think Cainad is on Valencias actually.  He said something about them.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 09, 2011, 04:38:35 am
I think Cainad is on Valencias actually.  He said something about them.

the pics he posted were of navels.

big, fucking, 8 lb bag of navels.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 04:41:14 am
15 and I still feel great. I got two more valencias in the meantime to replace the rotten one, so I can make it to 18. But Bob dammit now I have to BEAT 18?! Fuck my life.

Or maybe it was just those two.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 09, 2011, 04:44:58 am
I only ate eleven.  :cry:  I had this moment when I heard of Stella's 20, and I looked at my 6 remaining, and lost heart.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 09, 2011, 04:45:20 am
Ok I figured that since Im out of the competition I would wuss out and have some Tums

My stomach just laughed at me
 :sad:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 09, 2011, 04:50:00 am
20

Fucking

Oranges

Eat my triumphant orange sherbet jizz


Oh my god fuck you all, I still haven't shat


All of these oranges are inside of me you fucks.

Wow.

Yeah, I'm stopping now.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 09, 2011, 04:52:03 am
20

Fucking

Oranges

Eat my triumphant orange sherbet jizz


Oh my god fuck you all, I still haven't shat


All of these oranges are inside of me you fucks.

You'll never shit again.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 09, 2011, 05:08:54 am
Valencias? Fuck your shit, yeah I ate some valencias to supplement when I ran out of navels.

But just to say "bite me" I gobbled one last one right before midnight.


Hell fucking yes.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Telarus on April 09, 2011, 05:15:57 am
Holy fucking puckered divine starfish, you people are CRAZY.






 :lulz: Nicely done.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on April 09, 2011, 05:55:57 am
I can't fucking believe you guys.
Where do you muster the strength to PEEL all those bitches?!?

I mean between hangnails, paper cuts and carpel tunnel... I know you cunts share my pain in all those. How can you stand the burning?!?






Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 09, 2011, 06:11:01 am
the burning in my stomach is gone, but the burning in my chest and ass remains
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 06:17:40 am
Lalalalala

I feel a little ill and I wish I could poop, but I'm soldiering on.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 06:20:23 am
I went back to the store, you guys. This probably isn't a good idea.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Telarus on April 09, 2011, 06:21:04 am
the burning in my stomach is gone, but the burning in my chest and ass remains
Lalalalala

I feel a little ill and I wish I could poop, but I'm soldiering on.
I went back to the store, you guys. This probably isn't a good idea.

 :x
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on April 09, 2011, 06:21:41 am
I went back to the store, you guys. This probably isn't a good idea.

Nigel, she makes me feel weird, in the pance that is.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 06:29:00 am
:thanks:

Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on April 09, 2011, 06:34:06 am
You gonna be up all night eatin them bitches or starting anew in the morning?
Me? I'll be doing all the shitting for you I suppose.

Though I REALLY want a fucking orange now.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on April 09, 2011, 06:37:17 am
Oh my bad, I forgot you're like 4 hours behind me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 06:43:25 am
This asscocking contest ends at midnight, which is in only about an hour and a quarter

fuuuuuuck my insides hurt


shoot me
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 06:44:03 am
I really want a piece of bread and cheese for some reason

or maybe some ham
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 09, 2011, 06:45:39 am
I really want a piece of bread and cheese for some reason

or maybe some ham

Skip the food. Start drinking Mylanta until you shit chalk. Your intestines might survive that way.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 06:46:21 am
I really want a piece of bread and cheese for some reason

or maybe some ham

Skip the food. Start drinking Mylanta until you shit chalk. Your intestines might survive that way.

I don't have anything like that. Should I eat chalk?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 06:47:15 am
Wait, won't that plug me up?

That's the opposite of what I want to happen.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 09, 2011, 06:48:48 am
I really want a piece of bread and cheese for some reason

or maybe some ham

Skip the food. Start drinking Mylanta until you shit chalk. Your intestines might survive that way.

I don't have anything like that. Should I eat chalk?

If you did, would you shit Mylanta? Grind up a bucket of Tums and mix 'em with milk. Or would that not work? I would do it, but I also will eat pizza even if it's got mold on it. Will it plug you up? It laxitates me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 06:52:20 am
EFO is playing Chariots of Fire for me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on April 09, 2011, 06:53:02 am
EFO is playing Chariots of Fire for me.

 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 06:54:31 am
Annnnnnnnnd.... final orange segment consumed!

I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

22  :)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Da6s on April 09, 2011, 07:00:34 am
Annnnnnnnnd.... final orange segment consumed!

I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

22  :)

I fear ye, O Destroyer of Toilets.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 07:15:02 am
When I shit, it's going to be unspeakable. My farts smell like orange, and not in a good way.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on April 09, 2011, 07:22:39 am
When I shit, it's going to be unspeakable. My farts smell like orange, and not in a good way.

 :horrormirth:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on April 09, 2011, 07:46:42 am
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 09, 2011, 07:55:44 am
THIS is a good way to end the day; reading about people you convinced to do this to themselves, in some cases AGAIN, and have no more intention of doing that to yourself.  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on April 09, 2011, 07:57:19 am
THIS is a good way to end the day; reading about people you convinced to do this to themselves, in some cases AGAIN, and have no more intention of doing that to yourself.  :lulz:

I am going to challenge YUO...at some time in the future to a battle of the bowels.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 09, 2011, 08:00:30 am
THIS is a good way to end the day; reading about people you convinced to do this to themselves, in some cases AGAIN, and have no more intention of doing that to yourself.  :lulz:

I am going to challenge YUO...at some time in the future to a battle of the bowels.

I'm down with this, particularly if we can arrange it for when I don't have the monkey.  IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!!!! 

What were you thinking of eating?  I would definitely do a tomato soup bomb competition.  You haven't had tomato soup until you've had MY tomato soup, I'm afraid.  Roger asked me not to make it this month because he's had beans all week, so he doesn't need to be farting garlic and onion.

Both :( and :lol:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on April 09, 2011, 08:02:04 am
THIS is a good way to end the day; reading about people you convinced to do this to themselves, in some cases AGAIN, and have no more intention of doing that to yourself.  :lulz:

I am going to challenge YUO...at some time in the future to a battle of the bowels.

I'm down with this, particularly if we can arrange it for when I don't have the monkey.  IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!!!! 

What were you thinking of eating?  I would definitely do a tomato soup bomb competition.  You haven't had tomato soup until you've had MY tomato soup, I'm afraid.  Roger asked me not to make it this month because he's had beans all week, so he doesn't need to be farting garlic and onion.

Both :( and :lol:

We shall have to discuss suitable gastronombombical terms at some point.

Coyote, has eaten slightly raw and spoiled beef with no ill effects a few times.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 09, 2011, 08:14:43 am
Good for you.  So have I.  And a cake with fruit filling that was left out for several days.

Oh ho ho.  Are you any good at cooking?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on April 09, 2011, 08:16:31 am
Good for you.  So have I.  And a cake with fruit filling that was left out for several days.

Oh ho ho.  Are you any good at cooking?

Out of practice, but I might be able to assist.

Coyote, can properly apply fire to food to burn it to appropriately palatable levels most of the time. :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 09, 2011, 08:20:07 am
This requires the feat Food Finesse:  You use time, cut, and taste to create the perfect dish.  This feat replaces Flamed To Perfection in other feat prerequisitives.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on April 09, 2011, 08:22:19 am
This requires the feat Food Finesse:  You use time, cut, and taste to create the perfect dish.  This feat replaces Flamed To Perfection in other feat prerequisitives.

 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 09, 2011, 08:32:45 am
LET MY PILLZ HERE DO THEIR WORK!!  After a week of not having had them, they are working quite effectively.

I am making a thread for this so as to not spag this one up further.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 09, 2011, 08:41:30 am
Decided to leave this idea that is brewing for when I'm sobered up.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Iason Ouabache on April 09, 2011, 09:51:10 am
When I shit, it's going to be unspeakable. My farts smell like orange, and not in a good way.
:pax:

NIGEL WINS FOREVER!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Telarus on April 09, 2011, 09:56:38 am
When I shit, it's going to be unspeakable. My farts smell like orange, and not in a good way.
:pax:

NIGEL WINS FOREVER!!!


(http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n262/telarus/WOMPs%20and%20Memes/roflbot-memebomb01.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 09, 2011, 10:30:22 am
I think Nigel won a long time ago just on GP--lady went her ass back to the store. That kind of sphincterial integrity has got to count for something.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on April 09, 2011, 10:40:32 am
 :lol:

yuo guise are all insane.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on April 09, 2011, 10:45:19 am
I think Nigel won a long time ago just on GP--lady went her ass back to the store. That kind of sphincterial integrity has got to count for something.

Yeah. I couldn't even get my ass to the store, period.

I'm impressed at the quantity you spags consumed, however, I am of great disappoint that the bombastic shit-talking was all but scrapped this year.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 09, 2011, 10:55:43 am
Annnnnnnnnd.... final orange segment consumed!

I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

22  :)


 :x

son of a shitcock

it's 6 am and I just woke up to vomit for nothing?

no, I can't even... there's no rage, no fury, no feeling of any sort anymore...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on April 09, 2011, 11:30:37 am
I just woke up.  First order of business, come to this thread.

I have to go put on pance for the sole purpose of shitting them.

Y'all are certifiable.   :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 09, 2011, 02:24:16 pm
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, NIGEL.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on April 09, 2011, 02:36:35 pm
NOW THE REAL FUN BEGINS, COCKMONGLERS.


 
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 09, 2011, 02:38:06 pm
NOW THE REAL FUN BEGINS, COCKMONGLERS.


 


This.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 02:43:53 pm
I feel fine.   :)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 09, 2011, 02:46:17 pm
I feel fine.   :)

That's because you ate Valencias.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 09, 2011, 03:41:12 pm
I'm going out for breakfast with my room mate
I'm going to wait to use the public toilet
just in case.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 09, 2011, 03:41:43 pm
I'm going out for breakfast with my room mate
I'm going to wait to use the public toilet
just in case.

TO THE WALL.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on April 09, 2011, 03:57:59 pm
I ate 12 over the span of the day mixed with bananas, grits and other starchy foods and I have to say: I feel fine. I'm drinking my second cup of Island Coconut coffee, had a bagel with cream cheese and am about to go for my run. Not even a rumble.

I must say, I probably could have eaten more...a LOT more, but I kind of let y'all psyche me out a bit with all the Z0MFGITSANEPICASSPLOSION talk. After Nigel started talking about going back to the store, I was like: "well, I'm at the end of my sack too. I either have to make an orange-run myself, or admit that it's over." Fact is: I have a picnic with the muffins in New Orleans on Sunday and the last thing I need is to have run off to feed recycled citrus compost to the Oaks in Audubon Park six times in a hour...so I puss'd out.

I'm totally down for pushing this next year because I wanna know: if a dozen oranges did absolutely nothing to my ass, how the fuck many will it take?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 09, 2011, 04:27:59 pm
I don't know HOW, but I just shat pure stomach acid, AND I DIDN'T EVEN EAT ORANGES.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 09, 2011, 04:40:29 pm
I don't know HOW, but I just shat pure stomach acid, AND I DIDN'T EVEN EAT ORANGES.


My bad. Emergency Gastrointestinal Transference. In other words, there's a Stargate in my colon.



I puked at about 6 am, but I pretty much feel great now. :)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 04:56:34 pm
Other than nightmares, getting up in the middle of the night to shit my body weight, and waking up with an apparent sugar hangover, I feel... OK.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on April 09, 2011, 05:24:06 pm
:mittens: to everybody!!

can we get a final score board of how much everybody ate? (with valencia-navel conversion at 1.5 right?)

finally, I believe this song was made for you guys ... I never quite understood what it was about, the "lyrics" consist of a male and a female voice saying "ORANGE" in turn, numbers and counting, and children giggling. But after reading this thread, it's pretty obvious. Enjoy:

ORANGE ... hehehehihihi ... orange ... hihihihi ...  one ORANGE two three hehehehihihi four five six seven eight nine orange Yeaaaah that's right ten eleven hihihihihi twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen ORANGE eightteen nineteen hehehehihihi twenty twenty-one twenty-two twenty-three twenty-four twenty-five orange twenty-six twenty-seven hehehehihihi twenty-eight twenty-nine thirty thirty-one thirty-two thirty-three ORANGE thirty-four thirty-five Yeaaaah that's right thirty-six fourty-four sixty-eight twenty-seven thirty-five fourty-two orange fifty-eight fourty-seven ehehihihi sixty-three eighty-five seventy-four sixty-seven sixty-six fifty-one ORANGE seventy-nine fourty-two hihihehehe twenty-four fourty-five sixty-ten six seven fifty-six sixty-five orange fourty-four fifty-three ehihihihi fourty-four seventeen thirteen twenty-three Yeaaaaaaaah that's right (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg-iKP0zI9Q)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: President Television on April 09, 2011, 05:26:35 pm
JUICE FOR THE JUICE GOD!
PULP FOR THE PULP THRONE!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 09, 2011, 06:50:37 pm
Wow.  Holy crap.

:mittens: to Nigel.  I gave up after 11, and the worst I got was a big uncomfy orange dump that plugged the toilet.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 09, 2011, 08:59:52 pm
It burns when I pee
and I have the ability to turn the toilet water fluorescent yellow
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 09, 2011, 10:15:58 pm
It burns when I pee
and I have the ability to turn the toilet water fluorescent yellow

MAGICK!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on April 09, 2011, 10:18:50 pm
My shit. It smells like oranges  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2011, 10:22:32 pm
My shit. It smells like oranges  :horrormirth:

And not in a good way, right? Mine entirely consists of orange pulp. I've been drinking water all day in an attempt to flush it all through, but I think I may need to take more drastic measures.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 09, 2011, 10:26:18 pm
I'm just glad the orange oils have stopped giving me the power to smell exactly what my farts smell like.

Hell is self-awareness.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on April 09, 2011, 10:27:31 pm
Seriously, it's like my body leached away all of the good parts of "scent of orange" and left "zombie citrus stench."

You're doing the smart thing. I, being a sick bastard, just had an orange-cranberry muffin. I'm not sure if it's some sort of fucked up spite or maybe just plain stupid for stupidity's sake, but I did.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Requia ☣ on April 09, 2011, 10:55:33 pm
I'm now craving oranges.  I think something's wrong with me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Thurnez Isa on April 09, 2011, 10:57:37 pm
I still have 2 left
Im seriously considering
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Jasper on April 09, 2011, 11:14:02 pm
Our cause is senseless, our colons are strong!  We are PD!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 12, 2011, 02:12:38 pm
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.  YESTERDAY I ATE FOUR ORANGES, AND WHILE IT WASN'T IN ANY WAY TRAINING FOR NEXT YEAR'S CONTEST, I HAD A RIGHT EPIC SHIT LAST NIGHT.  IT TOOK FIVE FLUSHES AND THE PLUNGER TO GET IT DOWN.  WHILE PASSING IT I FELT LIKE I WAS ON FIRE AND WAS GOING TO PUKE.  SHITFUCKDAMN THIS IS ONE HELL OF AN EXTREME SPORT.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on April 12, 2011, 02:16:18 pm
Thread still delivers!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 12, 2011, 04:08:44 pm
:lol: Truly, I must be a supernatural ironguts, or my oranges were under-acidified (don't think so though, based on how my teeth felt).

Also puking up the last half-dozen or so might have helped.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 29, 2011, 05:30:59 am
Oh, forgot one of my pics:

(http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5302/5667804839_9eaa997ce1_z.jpg)

My friend K submits her opinion on me, this contest, and all of yuo, in one succinct gesture.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on July 14, 2011, 08:11:40 am
I REREAD THIS THREAD. THE WHOLE THING.

I LAUGHED MANIACALLY FOR A WHOLE 42 PAGES.


I FORGOT THAT NIGEL RETAINED HER CROWN BY NUMBER OF ORANGES, THOUGH, EVEN THOUGH THAT'S MERELY A TECHNICALITY.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on July 14, 2011, 11:19:33 pm
MY PARENTS HAVE INFORMED ME THAT I'LL BE BRINGING HOME AS MANY FRESH ORANGES FROM FLORIDA AS I CAN CARRY FOR CHRISTMAS.

YOU HEAR THAT FUCKERS?

FRESH.


LET'S SEE WHAT THE NEW YEAR BRINGS, SHALL WE?!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on July 14, 2011, 11:25:39 pm
MY PARENTS HAVE INFORMED ME THAT I'LL BE BRINGING HOME AS MANY FRESH ORANGES FROM FLORIDA AS I CAN CARRY FOR CHRISTMAS.

YOU HEAR THAT FUCKERS?

FRESH.


LET'S SEE WHAT THE NEW YEAR BRINGS, SHALL WE?!

From reading this thread, I'd guess bouts of shitting pure citric acid.   :x
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on October 03, 2011, 03:53:23 am
My doctor friend says "This seems like a bad idea".

I see that as MEDICAL ENDORSEMENT!

This still kills me every time I read it.  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Demolition_Squid on October 04, 2011, 12:23:02 pm
The guy I work opposite has been eating oranges all day. He is on number six now. I have been keeping count.

WHICH ONE OF YOU IS IT?!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 04, 2011, 08:25:29 pm
That would be an AWESOME IRL TROLL!

Makes me wish I still worked in a cube.  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 12, 2012, 09:15:15 am
MOTHER FUCKING ORANGES.

ITS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG'S DONG SHOVED UP YOUR ASS AND WEARING YOUR MOM'S HOOKER BOOTS FOR A CONDOM.  OH SNAP.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 12, 2012, 09:42:05 am
I'm gonna really do it this time. I'm not stopping until I hyperventillate and go into a state of ketoacidotic shock.

Diabetics, beware.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 12, 2012, 09:47:01 am
I kind of want in on this. And I don't even like oranges that much.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 12, 2012, 09:53:50 am
I kind of want in on this. And I don't even like oranges that much.

LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT MYSELF, WAFFLE DICK.  I COULD GIVE TWO BEHEADED RATS' LIVERS ABOUT WHAT YOU DO OR DO NOT LIKE.  THERE IS ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO STUFF FUCKING ORANGES INTO THEIR FACE HOLES UNTIL MIDNIGHT OR SOMETHING HILARIOUS HAPPENS, [IE, THE ONLY PEOPLE WORTH BEING] OR YOU'RE A USELESS WASTE OF SPACE, MUCH LIKE FRANCE.

TELL ME, ARE YOU FRENCH?  ARE YOU?  BECAUSE BY DICK GOBBLING CHRIST I DO NOT HEAR ANYTHING IN THERE THAT TELLS ME OTHERWISE.

GET THE FUCK OFF MY PLANET OR EAT SOME TWAT WOBBLING ORANGES.  IT'S YOUR CHOICE, FRENCHY.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 12, 2012, 10:09:23 am
 :lulz:

NO GOD DAMN IT I AM NOT FRENCH!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 12, 2012, 10:11:18 am
That's what I like to hear! 
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 12, 2012, 11:27:19 am
Freeky, you are the R. Lee Ermy of PD and a true asset to the cause.

Carry on.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on January 12, 2012, 01:00:10 pm
This honestly is continually the weirdest thing I've ever seen on these boards. 

And the fact that you all do it as a semi-annual event makes me thankful to be alive to see it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 12, 2012, 01:17:43 pm
This honestly is continually the weirdest thing I've ever seen on these boards. 

And the fact that you all do it as a semi-annual event makes me thankful to be alive to see it.

^that.

Also, one of these days you ass stains are goin DOWN
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 12, 2012, 02:07:09 pm
SON OF A FUCK


IF I HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN ALREADY I'M GONNA [INSERT ANATOMICALLY IMPOSSIBLE AND ABSURDLY DISGUSTING ACT HERE], YOU GODDAMN FIDDLER-CRAB CATHETERS THAT I CALL "FRIENDS"!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 12, 2012, 02:12:46 pm
This honestly is continually the weirdest thing I've ever seen on these boards. 

And the fact that you all do it as a semi-annual event makes me thankful to be alive to see it.

I watch it avidly, the way I watch CSPAN.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on January 12, 2012, 02:14:58 pm
And, just like CSPAN, it gives me an erection.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 12, 2012, 02:15:05 pm
Oh man! Can't compete today... I learned the hard way what happens when you combine coffee and citrus... and I already had WAY too much coffee...

Gotta give some warning if a contest is coming up - give me time to stock up on fucking oranges

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 12, 2012, 02:19:58 pm
YYYYYUO WILL STOCK UP ON ANAL TAMPONS AND PRAY THAT YUOR OVER-COOKED PASTA OF A GI TRACT DOESN'T PUT YUO INTO SEPTIC SHOCK BEFORE SUNDOWN.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on January 12, 2012, 04:23:53 pm
Wait, we're doing this today!?!?!? WELL FUCK ME! I'm in class and stuff until 5-ish.

when i get home, i will FUCKING some oranges the likes of which yuo have never seen!!!!2211elevendy1
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 12, 2012, 05:12:44 pm
WHAT? TODAY? IT'LL HAFTA WAIT TILL TOMORROW
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 12, 2012, 06:23:16 pm
WHAT? TODAY? IT'LL HAFTA WAIT TILL TOMORROW

THERE IS NO TOMORROW, YOU LEDERHOSEN-WEARING FJORD HOPPER!  GET THOSE FUCKING ORANGES DOWN YOUR THROAT.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 12, 2012, 06:25:22 pm
WHAT? TODAY? IT'LL HAFTA WAIT TILL TOMORROW

THERE IS NO TOMORROW, YOU LEDERHOSEN-WEARING FJORD HOPPER!  GET THOSE FUCKING ORANGES DOWN YOUR THROAT.

OH SHIT. SOMEONE WHO DOES MAGIC MUST IMMEDIATELY RETROACTIVELY ENCHANT SOME ORANGES TO MY KITCHEN.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 12, 2012, 06:26:51 pm
WHAT? TODAY? IT'LL HAFTA WAIT TILL TOMORROW

THERE IS NO TOMORROW, YOU LEDERHOSEN-WEARING FJORD HOPPER!  GET THOSE FUCKING ORANGES DOWN YOUR THROAT.

OH SHIT. SOMEONE WHO DOES MAGIC MUST IMMEDIATELY RETROACTIVELY ENCHANT SOME ORANGES TO MY KITCHEN.

You will GET OUT of that longhouse and you will GET IN that rowboat and you will ROW YOUR ASS to the local trading post, and you will GET SOME FUCKING ORANGES, for SHOVING IN YOUR FACE.

There are no excuses.  There are only ORANGES or FAIL.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 12, 2012, 06:29:06 pm
SLOW THE FUCK DOWN YOU MISERABLE JIZZ STAINS WHICH COVER THE FLOOR OF SOME BACKWOODS TITTY BAR WHERE MEN GO TO WATCH THEIR SISTERS DANCE.  WAS THERE A FUCKING DATE POSTED?  HELL FUCKING NO. 

I BUMPED THIS SWEET FUCKING THREAD TO DISCUSS WHEN WOUD BE A GOOD TIME FOR EVERYONE.  IT APPEARS THAT THIS IS EVEN TOO MUCH FOR YOUR BRAINS TO HANDLE, AND ITS A GOOD THING YOU GUYS AREN'T TOO STUPID TO EAT ORANGES OH WAIT.



:lulz:  That is probably my favorite part of OEC, the shouting and belligerence.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 12, 2012, 06:30:31 pm
WHAT? TODAY? IT'LL HAFTA WAIT TILL TOMORROW

THERE IS NO TOMORROW, YOU LEDERHOSEN-WEARING FJORD HOPPER!  GET THOSE FUCKING ORANGES DOWN YOUR THROAT.

OH SHIT. SOMEONE WHO DOES MAGIC MUST IMMEDIATELY RETROACTIVELY ENCHANT SOME ORANGES TO MY KITCHEN.

You will GET OUT of that longhouse and you will GET IN that rowboat and you will ROW YOUR ASS to the local trading post, and you will GET SOME FUCKING ORANGES, for SHOVING IN YOUR FACE.

There are no excuses.  There are only ORANGES or FAIL.

NO FUCKING WAY! SEE FREEKY'S POST. I'M GOING TO STAY RIGHT HERE AND BE AN ARMCHAIR SOMETHING-OR-OTHER
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on January 12, 2012, 06:35:07 pm
Besides, it dark outside in Finland!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 12, 2012, 06:36:17 pm
WHAT? TODAY? IT'LL HAFTA WAIT TILL TOMORROW

THERE IS NO TOMORROW, YOU LEDERHOSEN-WEARING FJORD HOPPER!  GET THOSE FUCKING ORANGES DOWN YOUR THROAT.

OH SHIT. SOMEONE WHO DOES MAGIC MUST IMMEDIATELY RETROACTIVELY ENCHANT SOME ORANGES TO MY KITCHEN.

You will GET OUT of that longhouse and you will GET IN that rowboat and you will ROW YOUR ASS to the local trading post, and you will GET SOME FUCKING ORANGES, for SHOVING IN YOUR FACE.

There are no excuses.  There are only ORANGES or FAIL.

NO FUCKING WAY! SEE FREEKY'S POST. I'M GOING TO STAY RIGHT HERE AND BE AN ARMCHAIR SOMETHING-OR-OTHER

I DON'T BELIEVE I SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SITTING ON YOUR ASS LIKE SOME FRENCH BAKED POTATO, WAFFLE DICK.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 12, 2012, 06:37:17 pm
Besides, it dark outside in Finland!

THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR SUN IS BROKEN, TRIPE NERD.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 12, 2012, 06:37:31 pm
SLOW THE FUCK DOWN YOU MISERABLE JIZZ STAINS WHICH COVER THE FLOOR OF SOME BACKWOODS TITTY BAR WHERE MEN GO TO WATCH THEIR SISTERS DANCE.  WAS THERE A FUCKING DATE POSTED?  HELL FUCKING NO. 

I BUMPED THIS SWEET FUCKING THREAD TO DISCUSS WHEN WOUD BE A GOOD TIME FOR EVERYONE.  IT APPEARS THAT THIS IS EVEN TOO MUCH FOR YOUR BRAINS TO HANDLE, AND ITS A GOOD THING YOU GUYS AREN'T TOO STUPID TO EAT ORANGES OH WAIT.



:lulz:  That is probably my favorite part of OEC, the shouting and belligerence.

GUESS WHAT YOU WRETCHED CLEMENTINE-SUCKING POLYP-BRAINED BUICK.

IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG AND YOU'RE A WOODEN BARREL JUST ROLLING AND LOLLING DOWN A LADDER UNTIL I JUMP OVER YOUR ASS AND SMASH YOU WITH HAMMERS.

200 DICK POINTS FOR ME
0 FOR YOU

WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT

OKAY TOMORROW IS FRIDAY SO IMMA GET MY DRANK ON, AND I DON'T WANT TO BE CLUTCHING MY VICTORY STOMACH AND SHOOTING VICTORY CITRUS OUT MY ASS AT THE SAME TIME AS I'M VICTORY SPEWING VICTORY VOMIT, SO I WOULD CORDIALLY REQUEST SHIT DAMN PREFER IF WE DO THIS NEXT GOD DAMN WEEK ASS HOLE


 :trolling:















Edit to add: Great idea! <3

(http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/Smileys/default/sexybeast.gif)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 12, 2012, 06:46:14 pm
NEXT WEEK, HUH?  YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WANTED TO DO SOMETHING NEXT WEEK?

PRINCESS CELESTIA, THAT'S WHO.  CRAM YOU ARE A GODDAMN MY LITTLE PONY, NOT JUST A BRONY.  YOU'RE STICKING YOU ODDLY SHAPED HOOVES INTO PEOPLE'S BUSINESS WHEN IT AIN'T EVEN KOSHER LIKE ORANGES.

NEXT WEEK IS NOT GOOD, AS I WILL HAVE AN EXPLOSIVE HATE THAT, IF ORANGES ARE CONSUMED, WILL ECLIPSE THE SUN IN SHITTY ORANGE PULP.

ALSO NEXT WEEK IS MY WEEK WITH THE MONKEY, AND I WON'T DO THIS SHIT WITH MONKEY CUZ I GOTTA BE ON MY GAME WITH HIM AROUND.

MAN THE FUCK UP CRAM.  WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN? 

PROBABLY SOMEONE CRAMS YOUR GRAM FOR A CHANGE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Dildo Argentino on January 12, 2012, 08:03:17 pm
one

(http://blog.holist.hu/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/orange.jpg)

two

(http://blog.holist.hu/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/no_orange.jpg)

fuck yeah
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on January 12, 2012, 08:36:16 pm
SPAR, yet another Dutch invention (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spar_(retailer)), btw. :P
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 12, 2012, 08:38:49 pm
one

(http://blog.holist.hu/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/orange.jpg)

two

(http://blog.holist.hu/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/no_orange.jpg)

fuck yeah

I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 12, 2012, 08:39:57 pm
I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.

Bitches don't know about our oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 12, 2012, 08:43:59 pm
I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.

Bitches don't know about our oranges.

Indeed, they are unaware.   :lol:

Why is it so hard to understand that people here enjoy the thrill of eating themselves sick on oranges, more sick than the other guys, purely for the sake of bragging rights for like a week or whenever it comes up?

BTW, I heard Nigel isn't eating this year.  CROWN = UP FOR GRABS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 12, 2012, 08:50:34 pm
BTW, I heard Nigel isn't eating this year.  CROWN = UP FOR GRABS

WHAT?? SHIT MERCIFUL FUCK
THE CROWN IS UP FOR GRABS

:cramstipated:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 12, 2012, 08:51:57 pm
BTW, I heard Nigel isn't eating this year.  CROWN = UP FOR GRABS

WHAT?? SHIT MERCIFUL FUCK
THE CROWN IS UP FOR GRABS

:cramstipated:

But YOU'D rather settle for booze, like a PEDESTRIAN.  A NON-ORANGE CROWN WEARING PEASANT.

ONE OF THE VITAMIN C DEFICIENT HOI POLLOI.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 12, 2012, 08:55:32 pm
BTW, I heard Nigel isn't eating this year.  CROWN = UP FOR GRABS

WHAT?? SHIT MERCIFUL FUCK
THE CROWN IS UP FOR GRABS

:cramstipated:

But YOU'D rather settle for booze, like a PEDESTRIAN.  A NON-ORANGE CROWN WEARING PEASANT.

ONE OF THE VITAMIN C DEFICIENT HOI POLLOI.

Cram is CLEARLY not dedicated to this sport.

I say this with the full knowledge that he is the OP.

BTW, I heard Nigel isn't eating this year.  CROWN = UP FOR GRABS

WHAT?? SHIT MERCIFUL FUCK
THE CROWN IS UP FOR GRABS

:cramstipated:

SHIT FUCK DAMN
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 13, 2012, 01:51:34 am
SHIT FUCK DAMN, ARE THERE ANY PARTICIPANTS?  OR AM I GONNA EAT ONE AND BE ALL "O SHIT, I JUST WON!" 

WE HAVE ONE VOTE FOR NEXT WEEK ON ACCOUNT OF BOOZE AND ONE VOTE FOR TOMORROR, WHICH FOR  YOU CLOCK IMPAIRED BASTARDS STARTS FIVE HOURS AND TEN MINUTES FROM NOW, ON ACCOUNT OF CHILDREN AND HATE ALSO SCHOOL.

WHAT THE FUCK IS IT GOING TO BE
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 13, 2012, 02:10:18 am
LISTEN I CAN'T DO THIS SHIT AT WORK AND I NEED HELP PEELING DUE TO CARPEL TUNNEL. fuck that. i have a knife.
I'M EXERCISING MY PEELIN THUMBS IN AN EFFORT TO
KICK     YOUR     ASS

HOWEVER I NEED TIME. A DAY IN WHICH I AM NOT WORKING.
PERHAPS 2 WEEKS.

WHO KNOWS!?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 02:13:11 am
LISTEN I CAN'T DO THIS SHIT AT WORK AND I NEED HELP PEELING DUE TO CARPEL TUNNEL. fuck that. i have a knife.
I'M EXERCISING MY PEELIN THUMBS IN AN EFFORT TO
KICK     YOUR     ASS

HOWEVER I NEED TIME. A DAY IN WHICH I AM NOT WORKING.
PERHAPS 2 WEEKS.

WHO KNOWS!?

You're skeered.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 13, 2012, 02:13:58 am
no. just busy.



and fucking exhausted.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 13, 2012, 02:14:41 am
What I meant to say is..



WHAT?! FLORIDIANS ARE NOT AFRAID OF FUCKING ORANGES YOU DESERT RAT!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 02:15:34 am
What I meant to say is..



WHAT?! FLORIDIANS ARE NOT AFRAID OF FUCKING ORANGES YOU DESERT RAT!!

That's what you typed, but what I read was "I FEAR THE MIGHTY CITRUS!  SOMEBODY CALL THE HELP DESK!"
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 13, 2012, 02:16:43 am
I COULD DO TWO WEEKS ON A FRIDAY
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 02:18:26 am
I COULD DO TWO WEEKS ON A FRIDAY

Podcast night.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 13, 2012, 02:18:56 am
I COULD DO TWO WEEKS ON A FRIDAY

Podcast night.

Shit.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 13, 2012, 02:19:41 am
WHAT THE COCKSHITTING FUCK.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Dildo Argentino on January 13, 2012, 06:19:08 am
I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.

i am serious

also, i am a heavyweight contender in the surviving on oranges alone stakes with a personal record of 10 days

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Pæs on January 13, 2012, 06:44:53 am
I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.

i am serious

also, i am a heavyweight contender in the surviving on oranges alone stakes with a personal record of 10 days
IT DOESN'T COUNT IF YOU JUST PUT A DROP OF ORANGE JUICE IN YOUR INFLATABLE PADDLING POOL AND SLOSH AROUND IN IT, YOU COCKCHEWING JIZZMITE.
YOU'VE ACTUALLY GOT TO INGEST THE ENTIRE ORANGE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on January 13, 2012, 06:57:24 am
I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.

i am serious

also, i am a heavyweight contender in the surviving on oranges alone stakes with a personal record of 10 days
IT DOESN'T COUNT IF YOU JUST PUT A DROP OF ORANGE JUICE IN YOUR INFLATABLE PADDLING POOL AND SLOSH AROUND IN IT, YOU COCKCHEWING JIZZMITE.
YOU'VE ACTUALLY GOT TO INGEST THE ENTIRE ORANGE.

:spittake:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Dildo Argentino on January 13, 2012, 07:32:58 am
IT DOESN'T COUNT IF YOU JUST PUT A DROP OF ORANGE JUICE IN YOUR INFLATABLE PADDLING POOL AND SLOSH AROUND IN IT, YOU COCKCHEWING JIZZMITE.
YOU'VE ACTUALLY GOT TO INGEST THE ENTIRE ORANGE.

it doesn't??

 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Telarus on January 13, 2012, 07:33:14 am
ONE OF THE VITAMIN C DEFICIENT HOI POLLOI.

 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: I fell outta mah chair.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cain on January 13, 2012, 07:46:23 am
I can either do an orange eating contest on any given Thursday, OR on the weekend a month from now.

Right now, though, I am having a bagel eating competition, against myself.  I'm performing pretty well, but I'm not sure I can sustain it in the long-term.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 01:25:30 pm
I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.

i am serious

also, i am a heavyweight contender in the surviving on oranges alone stakes with a personal record of 10 days
IT DOESN'T COUNT IF YOU JUST PUT A DROP OF ORANGE JUICE IN YOUR INFLATABLE PADDLING POOL AND SLOSH AROUND IN IT, YOU COCKCHEWING JIZZMITE.
YOU'VE ACTUALLY GOT TO INGEST THE ENTIRE ORANGE.

This sort of thing is why Paes is my favorite upside down person.   :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on January 13, 2012, 01:37:04 pm
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 01:38:11 pm
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 13, 2012, 02:05:15 pm
HOW ABOUT MONDAY
IT'S SCROTUM LUTHER KING DAY


IN ADDITION,

UP YOURS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Chairman Risus on January 13, 2012, 05:14:23 pm
HOW ABOUT MONDAY
IT'S SCROTUM LUTHER KING DAY


IN ADDITION,

UP YOURS

I'm game for Monday, you leper-fucks.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Dildo Argentino on January 13, 2012, 05:40:14 pm
monday good

oranges still on special offer
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on January 13, 2012, 05:59:40 pm
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 06:01:51 pm
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.

Tiny.  Teensy teensy tiny.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 13, 2012, 06:09:39 pm
OK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on January 13, 2012, 06:10:57 pm
I AM TOTALLY DOWN WITH MASS ORANGE MURDER ON MONDAY
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on January 13, 2012, 06:21:14 pm
I can do Monday.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 13, 2012, 06:21:48 pm
MONFUCKINGDAY
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on January 13, 2012, 06:33:37 pm
One day late though, SUNDAY is Setting Orange, Chaos 15, 3178 YOLD :D
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 13, 2012, 07:06:22 pm
MONDAY, WHILE PRETTY AWFUL FOR ME, IS PERFECT. 

FUCKING SCIENCE AND ADVENTURE!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on January 14, 2012, 06:09:18 am
I WON'T BE ABLE TO START TILL 5.

crap.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 14, 2012, 07:56:28 am
I  might actually be able to do Monday.

If I can stomach it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on January 14, 2012, 05:57:06 pm
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.

You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :p


OK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.

I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 14, 2012, 06:30:39 pm
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.

You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :p


OK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.

I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.

He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on January 14, 2012, 06:32:26 pm
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.

You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :p


OK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.

I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.

He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.

I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 14, 2012, 06:35:29 pm
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.

You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :p


OK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.

I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.

He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.

I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)

:crankey:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on January 14, 2012, 06:41:27 pm
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.

You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :p


OK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.

I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.

He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.

I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)

:crankey:

;)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on January 14, 2012, 08:28:44 pm
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.

You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :p


OK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.

I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.

He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.

I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)

:crankey:

;)

God show chap.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 15, 2012, 12:03:50 am
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.

You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :p


OK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.

I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.

He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.

I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)

:crankey:

;)

God show chap.

IS THIS WHAT I HAVE BECOME? A PERSON TO PERFORM CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNNERY UPON?  :argh!:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on January 15, 2012, 12:33:37 am
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.

You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :p


OK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.

I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.

He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.

I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)

:crankey:

;)

God show chap.

IS THIS WHAT I HAVE BECOME? A PERSON TO PERFORM CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNNERY UPON?  :argh!:

No, you're from belgianland, and there are no real people from there.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 15, 2012, 02:01:43 am
I may or may not participate, it depends on if I am feeling better. 

Today was extremely draining for me, as a whole, being sick and fucked up on benzos.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 15, 2012, 02:04:20 am
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.

You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :p


OK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.

I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.

He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.

I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)

:crankey:

;)

God show chap.

IS THIS WHAT I HAVE BECOME? A PERSON TO PERFORM CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNNERY UPON?  :argh!:

No, you're from belgianland, and there are no real people from there.

I'll have you know that I'm more realer than a very real thing. Also, I'm drunk.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on January 15, 2012, 12:04:21 pm
Inspirational video, something about a mathematical infinity of infinitely dense oranges:

http://youtu.be/uFvokQUHh08
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 15, 2012, 04:33:33 pm
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

Smaller people than I.

I'm 5'2" and 118 lbs. We're tiny.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 15, 2012, 06:54:06 pm
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.

Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.

Most of the oranges are bigger than you.

Smaller people than I.

I'm 5'2" and 118 lbs. We're tiny.

I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.

"Smaller than me" is correct.

I am also 5'3", for teh record, but not really tiny as I am sturdy and made of muscle.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on January 16, 2012, 05:15:27 am
one.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 05:19:07 am
oh snap its fucking ON.

Good thing I'ma get all rested up before this.  TOMORROW (my tomorrow, same day for you), I WILl OWN THIS CONSTEST.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 16, 2012, 05:39:13 am
Enjoy your pain, turdmonglers! I'll be sitting here, not stuffing my dumb face with FUCKING ORANGES.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 05:46:55 am
Enjoy your pain, turdmonglers! I'll be sitting here, not stuffing my dumb face with FUCKING ORANGES.

Cainad, I'm surprised at you.  I thought you were a biped, not a NON ORANGE EATING SISSY PANCE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 06:01:21 am
YOU PUGNACIOUS SPLATTER-PATTIES OF TREE JIZZ WILL TASTE DEFEAT STARTING IN 2 HOURS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 08:09:02 am
I JUST UTTERLY MASTICATED AN ENTIRE ORANGE TODAY WHILE YOU FEEBLY LAID THERE PRETENDING TO BE DEAD—DROOLING LIKE AN OVERGROWN POSSUM WITH DIABETES.

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, CANDY ASSES.

GET OUT OF BED AND FACE YOUR CERTAIN DOOM.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 08:29:27 am
WHILE YOU WERE TRYING NOT TO PISS YOUR BED, DREAMING OF WARBLING HYENA FARTS INTO YOUR DAD'S GOOD EAR, I GOBBLED TWO MORE NAVAL ORANGES LIKE I DON'T HAVE TO BE AT SCHOOL OR WORK TODAY. BUT I DO, YOU HERNIATED ASS-DRAGGERS OF COMPLETE FAILURE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 08:43:24 am
FOUR DOWN AND THEY'RE STILL SELLING ALCOHOL, YOU SLUMBERING VATS OF MILQUETOAST.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 08:59:03 am
F I V E
AND MY BURPS STILL TASTE FANTASTIC SO FUCK YOU.
I'm going to buy some smokes and booze since it's clearly going to be a while before you slugs wake the fuck up and smell the oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 10:01:19 am
I'M BACK BEARING QUOTES AND FOUL SUBSTANCES TO INGEST.

GET WITH THE FUCKING PROGRAM, DICK-LIZARDS, I'M BALLS DEEP IN YOUR MOM'S ORANGES WHILE YOU'RE STILL AN IMMOBILE SQUAMATE ON A TEPID ROCK.



The incoherent shouting in this thread reminds me of a chat we had last year...

15:11 [000]: CHOLERA SPRAY HOSE
15:26 Malachite: ANAL CUNT
15:27 Atrum_Monachus: FROZEN DICKVOMIT SANDWICH
15:40 Cain: Zyklon B fucknipple
15:47 Atrum_Monachus: You should nEver freeze one of those.
16:06 Atrum_Monachus: RUins the texture.
16:34 D-Squid: That's what makes it offensive.
16:38 Malachite: VOMITING JOSEF MENGELE DICKS
18:07 Atrum_Monachus: DRIPPING L RON HUBBARD ANAL LEAKAGE FART SAUCE TOMATO NIPPLE.
19:02 Malachite: (????)? Butts.
27:52 [000]: jewish glandular infection
32:12 Eve: my back won't stop twitching. :\
36:00 Lilith_Complex: Oh GODS if this headache gets any worse I'm going to start shooting morphine into my eyeball.
39:58 [000]: I HAVE CRAMMED FROM CRUSTY ANAL PAPERCUT LUNCH MUNCH MOUTH GURGLE GAG PLUMBING FECAL SUFFOCATION
40:24 [000]: (CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SMELL)
45:28 Cramulus: ANAL?
49:54 [000]: ANAL!
50:02 Atrum_Monachus: FIST
51:51 [000]: (FESTERING PUSS MAGGOT ITCH GANGRENE SUSPENSION)
52:24 Cramulus: Dong piss monkey scab twat waffle
52:41 Cramulus: dicks, dicks.... dicks and pus.
53:27 Cramulus: ballsweat tube tubesock lube cockamamey turd potato
54:43 [000]: PERIODICAL OCULAR RUSTY NAIL INSERTION
55:16 Cramulus: MINNIE MOUSE HOT POTATO PICK A BLOUSE WINNABAGO
02:38 [000]: (PERPETUAL PENIS PERFORATOR)
04:49 Cramulus: dicks dicks dicks twatnugget ball day
10:16 Payne: STFU, TRIP
10:20 Payne: I WILL END YOU
10:28 The Dark Monk: THEN START YOU AGAIN
10:31 The Dark Monk: WITH HIS PENIS.
10:43 Harlequin: I love it when he does that
10:44 Payne: MY PENIS HAS MUCH TORQUE
10:49 Payne: IT COULD BE DONE
16:07 Cramulus: WHY IF IT ISN'T A JIZZPARTY IN HERE
16:09 [000]: SCAT SCOOPING SCAB CHEWING CHAFED PRICKLY POTATOE PEELER PECK PECK PECK PECK PAIN
16:35 Cramulus: DICKS BALLS INSIPID CUM JUGGLER
16:41 Payne: CRAM
16:44 Payne: LET'S DUEL
16:49 Cramulus: UR ON
16:50 Eve: CRAM
16:53 Cramulus: Eve
16:58 Payne: I ROLL 18 on a D20
17:01 Malachite: OH GOD ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO IRCRP
17:06 Malachite: IT'S WORSE THAN LARPING
17:18 Cramulus: I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD DILDO
17:32 Payne: I DON MY MOTHERFUCKIN MESSIAH GEAR
17:41 Cramulus: MONKEY PISS ANAL SCAB DICK SHIT DICK PARADE DICK DICK GRANDMA DICK
17:44 Payne: PWNED
17:56 Payne: DIE
18:04 Cramulus: I TAKE OFFENSE AT YOUR VIBRATING THROAT MUSCLES TRYING TO SEDUCE ME WITH THEIR CUM CHARM
18:05 Payne: [19:17] <@Payne> I ROLL 18 on a D20
18:18 Cramulus: INCONTINENT DICK WOBBLERS
18:31 Payne: CRAM, I RAM MY GOLF CLUB DOON YER THROAT
18:34 Cramulus: JAM IT IN YOUR HOCKEY MASK
18:37 Payne: SPAG
18:44 Cramulus: AND BY THAT I MEAN YOUR LUKEWARM CUM CARAVAN
18:46 [000]: I ROLE NINE D20S!!!!!!!!!
18:46 Payne: A'LL PIT YER HEID IN
18:52 Cramulus: I ROLL BLUNTS
19:00 [000]: FUCK YOU CRAM THATS HOW I ROLL
19:12 Cramulus: I TAKE YOUR PENIS AND WOBBLE IT
19:24 [000]: I CAST LEveL 27 SCROTAL DANDRUFF
19:41 [000]: ROLL A WILLY SAVE
19:46 Cramulus: LISTEN YOU ANAL MORMONS I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOUR CANINE PENIS CHICANERY
19:55 Cramulus: HAIL DICKS
20:11 Cramulus: DICK CUNT SCALLIWAG PISS TURBAN ASS BRAIN DICK REAR ASSULT MUCUS MEMBRANE
20:12 Payne: CRAM, IF I HAD WD40, I'D TOTALLY GREASE YOU UP, MOTHERFUCKER
20:24 Cramulus: IF I HAD 2D10 I'D ROLL PERCENTILE UP YOUR ASS
20:29 Payne: FEEL THE Payne
21:04 Cramulus: FEEL THIS YOU JIZZ COW: MY COCK VEIN RESONATING WITH YOUR COLON CANER AND I RAM MY OVIPOSITOR INTO YOUR BELLY BUTTON
21:12 Cramulus: BA-BAM
21:33 Cramulus: BEHIND YOUR BACK ALL YOUR RELATIVES CALL YOU ANAL PIE
21:39 Cramulus has changed the topic to: SWEARING
22:01 Cramulus: I SHIT COCKS THAT PISS BALS
22:38 Payne: CRAMULOID, IF ONLY I HAD EARLY 20th CENTURY DOCTORS WHO WOULD LANCE YOUR SORRY ASS
22:39 [000]: YOUR PRESUMPTUOUS PRENATAL PRANCING PROTO POOP POSES POOR PRACTICAL PUNISHMENT\
23:25 Cramulus: DICK LORDS: STOP JIZZING FOR TEN SECONDS AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE A SHITBRICK SHORT OF AN ASS FULL OF SHINOLA
24:14 [000]: THE PUSS--THAT INFECTS THE MUCUS--THAT CRUDS UP THE FUNGUS--THAT FEEDS ON THE POND SCUM
24:40 Payne: CRAM COPULATES COPIOUS CUNTS, CANING CANINE CRAP COLLISEUMS. CORPULENCE CARES CEASELESSLY.
24:43 Cramulus: I'M GOING TO POUR AN ENTIRE GALLON OF CANOLA OIL INTO YOUR MOTHER'S BEDROOM AND TELL HER IT'S YOUR DAD'S GOLDEN WINE. SURE ENOUGH, SHE STARTS LICKING IT UP LIKE A CRACK PIPE ON PROM NIGHT
25:24 Payne: "[19:25] <+Cramulus> I'M GOING TO POUR AN ENTIRE GALLON OF CANOLA OIL INTO YOURMOTHER'S BEDROOM AND TELL HER IT'S YOUR DAD'S GOLDEN WINE. SURE ENOUGH, SHE STARTS LICKING IT UP LIKE A CRACK PIPE ON PROM NIGHT" :POTD:
25:33 Cramulus: MY NEIGHBOR HASN'T SEEN SO MUCH DICK TAR SINCE THE SPERM FLOOD OF 89
26:18 Cramulus: HE SAID, WOAH NELLY, I'M GOING TO BLOW SHIT OUT OF MY MOUTH SO HARD IT'LL GIVE YOUR KIDS A CONCUSSION
26:37 Cramulus: WHERE IN FACT, IT'LL GIVE YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE A CONCUSSION. DO NOT FUCK WITH ME.
27:22 [000]: DICK TAR ANT HONEY FIRE BURNING STINGING ITCH LICE PENIS
27:40 Cramulus: LISTEN YOU INSIPID JIZZ PANDA I'VE HAD ENOUGH PISS TALK FROM YOUR RECTAL COLLEGE AND SIMPERING TURD BAGEL FRIENDS. SO INSTEAD OF PISSING OFF, WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING SIT IN IT AND COPULATE?
28:30 Cramulus: I'M TEN TIMES THE PISS PIRATE YOU COULD EveR BE, AND THREE TIMES THE DICKS. I CAN'T EveN LOOK AT THIS SHIT ANYMORE, THE STINK WAVES ARE GETTING IN THE WAY OF ME SHITTING LIQUID SCABS ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL REPORT CARD
28:33 Cramulus: WHAT
28:50 Cramulus: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT YOU PECKISH ANAL LEPRECHAUN?
28:59 Cramulus: LISTEN I'VE SEEN WILLOW AND YOU SUCKED ASS IN IT
29:34 Cramulus: I'LL CALL YOU - A THROAT GOBBLER. TO YOUR FACE!
29:38 Cramulus: SIT ON IT
29:40 Cramulus: IN FACT
29:44 Cramulus: SHIT ON IT
29:50 Payne: CRAM
30:05 Payne: WHEN I MEET YOU, EXPECT A BOTTLE OF VODKA IN THE FACE
30:06 Cramulus: SHIT FUCK DAMN
30:17 Payne: ARSE RAIDING MUNCHEN
30:43 Cramulus: WHEN I VODKA YOU, EXPECT TO CHOKE ON YOUR OWN SHIT LIKE AN ANAL TODDLER WITH NO FUCKING CLUE HOW HE GOT BOTH HIS FISTS LODGED IN YOUR PUSTULOUS ASS
30:43 Payne: I HATE YOU SO HARD, THE WHITES OF MY EYES ARE PINK FROM BURST BLOOD VESSELS
31:03 Payne: CRAM, I'LL ASS FUCK YOU, WITH MY WHOLE LEG
31:15 Payne: WITHOUT LUBE
31:16 Idem: GUYS THIS IS A BUSINESS MEETING
31:23 Idem: KEEP IT DOWN
31:24 Cramulus: I HATE YOU LIKE A CHILD HATES GETTING PISTOL WHIPPED IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CHURCH BUT THAT'LL TEACH HIM A LESSON FOR TALKING SHIT IN THE HOUSE OF THE LOUUURRRDE
31:29 Payne: CAUSE THATS HOW I ENJOY MY ASS FUCKIN
31:54 Cramulus: IF YOU'LL QUIT GARGLING JIZZ FOR JUST A FUCKING SECOND YOU'LL SEE THAT YOU ARE DAMAGING MY SELF ESTEEM
32:00 Payne: FUCK YOUR LORD CRAM, HE CRIED WHEN I INSERTED MY GREAT WHITE PALADIN INTO HIS ANUS
32:31 Payne: HE SHOUTED THIS IS MY BODY THIS IS MY BLOOD, BUT I JUST LAUGHED
32:36 Cramulus: THERE AREN'T FONT TAGS BIG ENOUGH TO CONTAIN YOUR PREGNANT ASS
32:51 Idem: FUCK YOU BOTH
32:58 Cramulus: I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY THAT ROTUND OR YOUR LEGS ARE PREGNANT
33:10 Payne: CRAM, THERE AREN'T ANY PROGRAMS THAT YOU COULD RECOMEND THAT WOULD CONTAIN YOUR EGO
33:20 Payne: STUCK UP EGOTISTIC MOTHERFUCKER
33:29 Cramulus: IN EITHER CASE, LET ME RECCOMMEND AN ABORTION DOCTOR: MY FIST, A COAT HANGER, AND A BOTTLE OF VODKA. WE'LL MAKE A ROMANTIC EveNING OUT OF IT
33:30 Payne: I LIKE ANAKIN SKYWALKER MORE THAN YOU
34:09 Payne: FUCK CRAM, MAKE THAT WHICKEY, AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A FRIDAY NIGHT OUT IN SUACHIEHALL
34:15 Cramulus: I'D RATHER DIE IN A BURNING BUS WRECK WHERE ALL THE OTHER PASSENGERS ARE CLONES OF THE HOMELESS GUY WHO KEEPS EYE FUCKING ME THAN SPEND ONE MORE GODDAMN SECOND SMELLING YOUR LOUSY CUNT
34:46 Payne: CRAM, I SHAT OUT A MASSIVE LOG OF FECAL MATTER TODAY, IT HAD YOUR FACE
34:48 Cramulus: YOU'RE LIKE THE JIZZ PARADE,  BUT INSTEAD OF CELEBRATING, EveRYBODY GETS AIDS
35:00 Payne: SO I SET IT ON FIRE BEFORE I FLUSHED
35:08 Cramulus: I'M GONNA BREAK MY FIST OFF IN YOUR COLON
35:20 Payne: FUCK YEA, SUCKER PUNCH THOSE WORMS
35:31 Payne: CHRIST KNOWS I NEED IT
35:52 Cramulus: IN FACT, I'M GONNA GET A PET TAPE WORM AND NAME IT STUPID PIECE OF CUM-SHIT BECAUSE THEY REMIND ME OF YOU
36:49 Cramulus: YOU THINK I'M NOT SERIOUS? I WILL PERSONALLY CLIMB DOWN OFF THIS BUILDING AND STRETCH YOUR JAWS AROUND YOUR OWN ASS AND MAKE YOU TAKE A DUMP RIGHT INTO YOUR EYE SOCKETS
36:50 Payne: CRAM, I MEASURED THE DISTANCE TO THE PUB IN CRAMS, EXCEPT IN THE VERNACULAR I CALLED THEM DISTANCES BETWEEN TIGHTLY COILED PILES OF COG SHIT
37:51 Cramulus: THE OTHER DAY I OPENED MY FRONT DOOR AND I WAS LIKE "OH HEY DUDE" BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A QUIVERING BOWL OF DOG SNOT THAT SOMEBODY HAD HEATED UP IN A MICROWAVE UNTIL IT STARTED TO SING SHOWTUNES AND CRAP PISS ALL OVER YOUR GODDAMN LAWN
37:59 Cramulus: IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE
38:14 Cramulus: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT SWEAR FOR ELEveN MINUTES NOWWWWWWW
39:43 Cramulus: SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL POUR RAZORS INTO YOUR SHIT AND TELL CHILDREN THAT IT IS A DELICIOUS SURPRISE, THEN SUE YOU
40:46 Harlequin: DON'T MAKE ME FUCKING COME DOWN AND SHOVE COAXIAL SOUND CABLES INTO YOUR ASS AND THEN PLAY AC/DC SO FUCKING LOUD YOUR FUCKING ANUS WILL STAR DANCING AND EJECT ALL THE FUCKING SHIT THAT YOU'VE BEEN HOARDING FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS AND NINE MONTHS AND THREE DAYS AND FORTY-FIVE SECONDS
41:56 Cramulus: JESUS CHRIST I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SIMPERING SHITTALK PISSBALLS
42:19 Cramulus: I'M RELOADING RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTER FUCKING PUT ON A HELMET AND TAKE A SHIT
42:26 Cainad: FOUL LANGUAGE
42:36 Malachite: <+Cramulus> SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL POUR RAZORS INTO YOUR SHIT AND TELL CHILDREN THAT IT IS A DELICIOUS SURPRISE, THEN SUE YOU <--- this is the best insult/threat I have heard in a while
43:05 Harlequin: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BACK DOWN MOTHER FUCKER OR I'LL ROLL UP NEW SCIENTIST AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH SCIENCE EXCEPT IT WILL BE SCIENCE COVERED IN YOUR OWN BLOOD AND VOMIT AND SHIT
43:13 Cramulus: WHAT
43:41 Cramulus: I WILL WRAP YOU HEAD TO TOE IN DUCT TAPE AND PUT SNAKES IN YOUR INTESTINES THAT EAT YOUR SHIT SO WHEN YOU SHIT YOU SHIT SNAKES FULL OF SHIT
44:09 Harlequin: Well I find that just in bad taste
44:20 Cramulus: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
44:30 Cainad: ALL OF YOU NEED TO SHUT THE SLIMY DOLPHIN BALLS UP BEFORE I FORCE CANDIRU FISH INTO EveRY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR ORIFICES AND LIGHT YOUR FACE ON FIRE
45:08 Cramulus: YOU'RE A SODA DRINKING DANDRUFF SORTER WITH A BLACKLIGHT SENSITIVE ANAL BRAIN WITH ASS CHEEKS FOR LOBES
46:01 Cramulus: I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE OF YOUR INTRACTABLE MENTAL JIZZ OLYMPICS
46:47 Cramulus: BUT IN THE MEANTIME I AWARD YOU THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR BEING A SPECIAL-ED PISS POLYP
46:52 Cainad: YEAH WELL YOU'RE A SIDEWALK-SNIFFING ALCOHOLIC WITH PHILOSOPHICAL CONSTIPATION
47:20 Harlequin: YOUR SPAGMOSEXUAL ANTICS MAKE FUCKING RETARDED CROMAGNONS LOOK LIKE FREAKING UNIVERSITY GRADUATES FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF AWESOME-VILL THAT HAS A POLICY OF FUCKIGN ABORTING COCK-SUCKERS LIKE YOU IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER
48:01 Cainad: ALSO YOU DISGUST ME WITH YOUR DETRITUS-BASED ANAL PLAY DURING THE FUNERAL'S OF BELOVED GRANDMOTHERS
48:16 Cainad: FUNERALS, EveN
48:53 Cramulus: IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN FIRE OUT OF YOUR FACE-ASS? I'VE PISSED IN THE SNOW AND IT WAS A TONY-AWARD WINNING NOVELLA COMPARED WITH THE SORT OF GUTTERPUNK VERBAL CANCER YOU LEAK LIKE AN OVERRIPE PUSTULE FULL OF CUM
49:23 Harlequin: I SPY JIZZ-MONKEYS OFF THE STARBOARD BOW AND THEY'VE GOT YOUR FUCKING NAME ON THEM. AND THEY SHARE YOUR LEveL OF STUPIDITY HENCE WHY THEY APPLY A SINGLE NAME TO A THE BUNCH OF THEM BECAUSE THEY CAN'T DISTINGUISH BETWEEN SINGLUAR AND PLURAL BECAUSE THEY'RE THAT FUCKIGN RETARDED. LIKE YOU
49:37 Cramulus: JESUS
49:57 Cramulus: I NEED MORE COFFEE
50:58 Cainad: YOUR SUCH AN ARROGANT BUTTJUICE CHUGGER THAT YOU PROBABLY DON'T EveN NOTICE THAT YOUR PUS-FILLED EYEBALLS EXPLODED ALL OVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IN FACT YOU PROBABLY FED IT TO YOUR DOG AND THEN DROPPED IT OUR THE WINDOW YOU ZIT-JUGGLING FUCKFACE
51:13 FAAAARK: sup cuntnuggets
51:14 Cramulus: fuck
51:15 Cainad: AND CALLED IT "ART"
51:32 Idem: my favorite one was "THE OTHER DAY I OPENED MY FRONT DOOR AND I WAS LIKE "OH HEY DUDE" BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A QUIVERING BOWL OF DOG SNOT THAT SOMEBODY HAD HEATED UP IN A MICROWAVE UNTIL IT STARTED TO SING SHOWTUNES AND CRAP PISS ALL OVER YOUR GODDAMN LAWN"
51:47 Cramulus: SHIT COCK RECHARGING
52:05 Cainad: EAR JIZZ ANTICS
52:51 P3nt4gr4m: what I really wanted from this place was crystal meth and a blowjob but I'll settle for tourettes
52:59 Cramulus: JESUS IT'S FUCKING P3NT
53:33 Cramulus: THAT IS TO SAY - JESUS SOME TOTAL MORON HAS JACKED PENT'S ACCOUNT AND NOW HE'S SAYING THE DUMBEST SHIT AN IDIOT COULD IMAGINE
55:48 Cramulus: I'LL GIVE YOU WOOD. I'LL RAM MY COCKKNOB RIGHT IN YOUR EYE UNTIL YOU BURST INTO TEARS BUT INSTEAD OF TEARS ITS HIGHLY ACIDIC URINE THAT EATS YOUR FACE UNTIL YOU LOOK LIKE THE GUY FROM RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK AND SOME CUNT IS LIKE MOMMY MOMMY, DOES THAT MAN HAVE SOME SORT OF RENAL DEFECT? AND HER MOM WILL SAY NO SWEETHEART, HE'S JUST A FAT, JITTERY, LOATHSOME PIECE OF SHIT THAT CAN'T TELL HIS OWN FACE FROM A MOUNTAIN OF TODDLER TURDS THAT PEDOS
57:33 P3nt4gr4m: CRAM I RAMMED BOTH MY FISTS AND HALF MY FOOT IN YOUR MOMS ASSHOLE LAST NIGHT AND THEN SPENT SO LONG TRYING TO WORK OUT WHICH HOLE WAS WHICH SHE UNLOADED THE MOTHER OF ALL FOLLOW THROUGHS RIGHT IN MY FACE.
57:41 P3nt4gr4m: i GOT CHARGED EXTRA FOR THAT
57:41 Cramulus: ANAL SWEAT SHIT DICKS FUCK SHIT URINE PISS FUCK DRIPPINGS RUNNING DOWN YOUR FACE SMELLS LIKE SOME KIND OF ANAL RACE
59:16 P3nt4gr4m: BABY ASS RAPE
59:25 Cramulus: IT TOOK ME 18 MONTHS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT UP WITH YOUR VERBAL AIDS YOU DICK TURBAN
59:28 ***Cramulus breathing heavily
59:37 Cramulus: can't.... stop... fuck....
00:17 P3nt4gr4m: WHY NOT TRY FUCKING YOURSELF IN THE WINDPIPE WITH A LENGTH OF ROTTING HORSE COCK
01:00 Cramulus: HOW ABOUT YOU EAT A WHOLE CANOE FULL OF MORMON MEN ALL JACKING EACH OTHER OFF
01:15 P3nt4gr4m: POUR SOME BLEACH DOWN IT TO SIMULATE SPOOGE
01:43 Cramulus: HOW ABOUT YOU DIE TEN TIMES IN A ROW AND THEN I'LL FIST YOUR WIFE ON YOUR GRAVE
01:46 Cramulus: AND SHE'LL SHIT
02:11 P3nt4gr4m: SUPERGLUE YOUR EYES TO A BABIES NIPPLES THEN JERK YOUR HEAD BACK AND SEE WHICH COMES OFF FIRST
02:24 Astantia: whoa
02:29 P3nt4gr4m: SRSLY
02:42 Cramulus: FIRST YOU FIGURE THIS OUT: WHAT HAS MORE KNUCKLES - YOUR MOM'S HAIRY ASS FEET, OR YOUR COLON WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU?
02:57 Cainad: I THINK YOU REALLY OUGHT TO SLIDE BARE-ASSED DOWN A PALM TREE COVERED IN FERRET LYMPH NODES SO THAT I CAN THEN REMOVE YOUR DESTROYED ANUS AND SELL IT ON EBAY SO THEN I'LL HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY AN ELECTRIC EEL TO SHOVE UP YOUR URETHRA
02:58 Cramulus: HINT: YOUR MOTHER LOST A FOOT TO DIABETES AND IS A SMELLY CUNT
03:17 P3nt4gr4m: MY MOMS ASS DOESN'T HAVE FEET - THAT'S YOUR INBRED FUCKING SIUSTER YOURE THINKING ABOUT
03:23 Cramulus: SHIT
03:54 Cramulus: MY INBRED SISTER IS A SAINT AND YOU'RE A CARTOON CHARACTER DOING HARD TIME FOR DICKS
04:35 P3nt4gr4m: ONE MOAR REMARK THAT THAT AND i'LL GIVE YOU A CHAINSAW ENEMA THEN FILL THE CARNAGE FULL OF SEMOLINA AND GET A RETARD TO LICK IT OUT
04:45 Cainad: YOUR INBRED SISTER EATS PASTRIES MADE OUT OF SCROTUMS
05:07 P3nt4gr4m: YOUR INBRED SISTER EATS ANYONE WHO GIVES HER A COOKIE
06:23 P3nt4gr4m: TALK ABOUT BEATING AROUND THE BUSH
06:41 P3nt4gr4m: JUST WHAT THE FUCK EXACTLY YOU TRYING TO SAY THERE JIZZGARGLER?
06:57 Cramulus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
06:59 Cramulus: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE
07:15 Cramulus: YOU'RE SUCH A STUPID NIPPLEDICK IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY BLOOD OUT OF MY ASS
07:33 Cramulus: OR JIZZ TEARS OF SORROW INTO THAT DISGUSTING CRAP YOU MADE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT
07:37 Cramulus: EITHER WAY, FUCK YOU
08:14 P3nt4gr4m: YOU MAKE ME WANT TO DONKEYPUNCH MY OWN GRANDMA TILL HER HAIR FALLS OUT THEN MAKE A DILDO OUT OF THE HAIR AND SET FIRE TO IT BEFORE RAMMING IT UP YOUR URETHRA
09:20 P3nt4gr4m: HOLY FUCK
09:33 P3nt4gr4m: ARE YOU HAVING SOME KINDA EMBOLISM OR SOMETHING?
10:01 Cramulus: I DON'T KNOW!!!
10:16 Cramulus: THIS IS KILLLLLLLLLING MEEEEEEEE
10:30 Cramulus: IT SEEMS I CAN'T STOP SWEARING
10:41 Cramulus: EveRY TIME I THINK IT'S GOING TO END, I READ SOMETHING YOU SAID AND IT SETS ME OFF AGAIN
11:04 P3nt4gr4m: COS i'M SETTING UP A WESITE WHERE WE INDUCE EMBOLISMS IN VISRGINS, JUST AT THE POINT OF THEIR FIRST ORGASM AND THEN FILM WEASELS, LICKING THE BLOOD OUT THE EARS BEFORE WE FUCK THE WEASELS SO HARD THEY SPLODEY THEN WE RUB THE BITS INTO THE DEAD VIRGIN'S ASSHOLE AAND SET FIRE TO IT
11:13 P3nt4gr4m: YOU ARE A VIRGIN RIGHT?
11:16 Cramulus: YOU'RE LIKE AN ENTIRE DAY-TRIP TO THE RETARD ZOO, BUT EveRYBODY'S A CLONE OF YOUR WORTHLESS JIZZ-SCULPTURE-FACE
11:24 Cramulus: SHIT
12:17 P3nt4gr4m: WE'RE CALLING THE SITE WWW.ARISTOCRATS.COM
13:00 P3nt4gr4m: ANYWAY - I JUST WANTED TO DROP BY TO SAY FUCK YUO
13:09 P3nt4gr4m: AND I DON'T MEAN THAT IN A NICE WAY
13:19 Cramulus: EAT DICKS X100
13:30 Cainad: CRAM YOUR COPROLALIA IS FUCKING INTOLERABLE. YOUR IMMATURE AND QUITE CLEARLY FURRY-EROTIC DESIRE TO PUKE YOUR MENTAL RENAL FAILURE IS A CANCER THAT GIVES EveRYONE UNDESCENDED TESTICLES
13:33 Cramulus: THIS IS ALL [000]
13:34 Cramulus: ALL HIS FAULT


S I X
GIVE UP, PUNY SCROTAL CARDIGANS, OR I'LL EAT MY ENTIRE 8 POUNDS OF FIERY GLORY BEFORE NOON.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 10:25:27 am
SEVEN, YOU STATIONARY FUCKS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 10:44:21 am
COCK-KNUCKLES ON YOUR ANCESTOR'S ROTTING ASS CLEFT.

I JUST GUZZLED HALF A 12% FOUR LOCO AND MY EIGHTH CALIFORNIA NAVEL.


:hammer:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 11:18:05 am
COMMIT ANUSCIDE YOU HOPELESS BUTTFLAPS OF YESTERYEAR, I BRAVED A MIST OF BITTER CITRUS OIL STRONG ENOUGH TO REPEL A FULL GROWN RETARD, JUST TO EAT MY NINTH ORANGE.

KEEP DROOLING ON YOUR PILLOW LIKE THE INVALIDS YOU ARE AND HOPE I DON'T BUY ANOTHER NINE BUCKS WORTH OF ORANGES BEFORE YOU WAKE.


EDIT: FOR GREAT JUSTICE
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 11:34:36 am
TEN, AND FUCK YOURSELF WITH A PENILE IMPLANT.

I KILLED A FOUR LOCO AND 10 NAVELS BEFORE YOU COULD COMMENCE YOUR MORNING BEAT OFF TO THE HOT CLERK THAT SOLD YOU SOME BULLSHIT THE OTHER DAY.

WHILE MY GUTS ARE TRASH COMPACTING THIS FRUIT INTO A TURD THE SIZE OF A LARGE VITAMIN, I RECOMMEND YOU STOCK UP ON TUMS AND BUTTHOLE MASSAGERS.

YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 11:57:38 am
I WILL MAKE GOOD ON MY 8 POUNDS BEFORE NOON THREAT, PERHAPS BEFORE DAWN, YOU TORPID TUBS OF MOLASSES.

AND ELEVEN. I WIPE MY COMPUTER OF ORANGE JUICE WITH THE FLOURISH OF VICTORY.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 12:42:35 pm
HOW ABOUT MONDAY
IT'S SCROTUM LUTHER KING DAY


IN ADDITION,

UP YOURS

SPRAY IT OUT YOUR CHOLERA NOZZLE, ASSLIPS.

MY TONGUE IS GETTING BLISTERS, AND I ONLY HAVE FOUR LEFT OF THE SIXTEEN NAVELS I STARTED WITH.

YOU EASTERN TIME ZONE KNEE-PIT FUCKERS SHOULD HAVE THE TIME ADVANTAGE, YET NO REPORT EMANATES FROM YOUR REGION.

FORFEIT, PANTYWAISTS, AND I'LL ONLY EAT THE 16. BEFORE SUNRISE.

OR HAVE YOUR FACE SMACKED BY A PRAYER WHEEL OF ORANGE DICKS FOR ALL OF 2012. YOUR CHOICE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on January 16, 2012, 12:49:02 pm
(http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/92/netauronge.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 16, 2012, 12:52:22 pm
I HAVE STARTED, YOU CUMGUZZLING DONKEYRAPERS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 01:03:50 pm
(http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/92/netauronge.jpg)

TONGUE NOW FEELS SOMEWHAT SWOLLEN OVERALL. COMBINED WITH BLISTERS IT SEEMS TO BE A SLIGHT ALLERGIC REACTION.

THIRTEEN.

I'M GOING TO TAKE A PICTURE OF MY HAND IN A MINUTE HERE, IT IS CAKED WITH PULP.

BEFORE SUNRISE, SELF-FLAGELLATING MARATHONS OF BUTT-PASTE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 01:17:28 pm
I HAVE STARTED, YOU CUMGUZZLING DONKEYRAPERS

STARTED WHAT, ASSBAG, CRYING TEARS OF DEFEAT INTO YOUR PUNY MANDARINS?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 16, 2012, 01:27:07 pm
I HAVE STARTED, YOU CUMGUZZLING DONKEYRAPERS

STARTED WHAT, ASSBAG, CRYING TEARS OF DEFEAT INTO YOUR PUNY MANDARINS?


STARTED TO OWN YOUR ASS, TWATTING CUNTHOLE. FIVE
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 01:32:12 pm
I HAVE STARTED, YOU CUMGUZZLING DONKEYRAPERS

STARTED WHAT, ASSBAG, CRYING TEARS OF DEFEAT INTO YOUR PUNY MANDARINS?


STARTED TO OWN YOUR ASS, TWATTING CUNTHOLE. FIVE

FOURTEEN.

I ALSO HAVE A BLADDER LIKE A CAMEL.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 16, 2012, 01:43:29 pm
I HAVE STARTED, YOU CUMGUZZLING DONKEYRAPERS

STARTED WHAT, ASSBAG, CRYING TEARS OF DEFEAT INTO YOUR PUNY MANDARINS?


STARTED TO OWN YOUR ASS, TWATTING CUNTHOLE. FIVE

FOURTEEN.

I ALSO HAVE A BLADDER LIKE A CAMEL.


SEVEN.
I BET YOU HAVE A TOE LIKE A CAMEL TOO.


Also, I will take a break for a few hours later, to pick up the cat.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on January 16, 2012, 01:45:57 pm
Also, I will take a break for a few hours later, to pick up the cat.

YOU DROPPED YOUR CAT?? BUT YOU JUST GOT A NEW ONE
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 16, 2012, 01:54:02 pm
Also, I will take a break for a few hours later, to pick up the cat.

YOU DROPPED YOUR CAT?? BUT YOU JUST GOT A NEW ONE

I JUST LOST HER! (Also, I haven't gotten the new one yet. Going to pick her up from the kitty shelter)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 01:58:45 pm
YOU TURBID GERBIL-SMUGGLERS MADE EIGHT POUNDS OF ORANGES SOUND WAY WORSE THAN IT ACTUALLY IS.

FIFTEEN DOWN, ONE LEFT. THE STORE OPENS AT SEVEN, AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO SHIT MY PANTS IN A "FREDDY'S".
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 02:10:00 pm
I HAVE STARTED, YOU CUMGUZZLING DONKEYRAPERS

STARTED WHAT, ASSBAG, CRYING TEARS OF DEFEAT INTO YOUR PUNY MANDARINS?


STARTED TO OWN YOUR ASS, TWATTING CUNTHOLE. FIVE

FOURTEEN.

I ALSO HAVE A BLADDER LIKE A CAMEL.


SEVEN.
I BET YOU HAVE A TOE LIKE A CAMEL TOO.


Also, I will take a break for a few hours later, to pick up the cat.

GARGLE A VAT OF BAGGED GRANNY VULVAS ON A TALLBIKE BATMAN, GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF. HOW MANY HOURS DO YOU EVEN HAVE LEFT TO COMPETE? I COULD GO DIP MY BALLS IN NORWEGIAN CHOCOLATE FOR HALF THE DAY AND STILL TROUNCE YOUR INFERIOR DICK-GOGGLED EXCUSE FOR AN ORANGE EATING ATTEMPT WITH MY PINKY TOE.

SIXTEEN.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 02:46:43 pm
HOW ABOUT MONDAY
IT'S SCROTUM LUTHER KING DAY


IN ADDITION,

UP YOURS

I'm game for Monday, you leper-fucks.

I THINK I JUST HEARD THE SOUND OF YOUR DICK FALLING OFF AND SMASHING INTO DOZENS OF ESPECIALLY TINY FOOTBALL MINIATURES.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 16, 2012, 02:48:14 pm
 :lulz:
I shat.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 03:02:30 pm
ho my SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK

I JUST WOKE UP

AND NOW IT'S TIME TO GET ILL

LITERALLY ILL


FUCK YOU SPAGS IN THE GOAT HOLE

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 03:25:19 pm
ho my SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK

I JUST WOKE UP

AND NOW IT'S TIME TO GET ILL

LITERALLY ILL


FUCK YOU SPAGS IN THE GOAT HOLE




GOAT YOUR WHOLE SPAG, ILL-JONG-FUCK.

I'M SECURING EIGHT MORE POUNDS OF PURE CALIFORNIA HATE WITHIN THE HOUR.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 03:34:27 pm
GUESS WHAT SPAGS.

I HAVE SIXTEN POUNDS OF NAVEL FRUIT, ONE THIRD OF THAT (MINUS ONE) BEFORE ME.  I AM NOT YET AWAKE, BUT I ALREADY TASTE TRIUPMH, DESPITE NET'S EARLY START.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 16, 2012, 03:37:43 pm
My friend and overseer, Ritalin told me I'm not allowed to come out to play this year. Too many kitchen counters to wipe down 37 times.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 16, 2012, 03:44:26 pm
My friend and overseer, Ritalin told me I'm not allowed to come out to play this year. Too many kitchen counters to wipe down 37 times.

I am also not participating, on the grounds that I don't want to shit acid for 2 days.

I mean, more acid than is normal for me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on January 16, 2012, 03:45:21 pm
Four.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on January 16, 2012, 03:48:16 pm
Six.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 03:53:52 pm
Do you peel your oranges first, all of them, and then consume, or peel/eat/peel/eat?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 16, 2012, 03:55:36 pm
Peel eat, peel eat. Peeeeeeeel then eeeeeeat is both presumptuous and disgusting
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 16, 2012, 03:56:25 pm
This thread is why the terrorists hate us.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 03:56:39 pm
I will not be talking the smack this year.  I am too tired, and want to be reclining while I eat my oranges.  So I will tell you lot my final total later.

Just finished #1, by the way.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 16, 2012, 03:57:30 pm
I will not be talking the smack this year.  I am too tired, and want to be reclining while I eat my oranges.  So I will tell you lot my final total later.

Kinda defeats the whole purpose.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 03:58:53 pm
I will not be talking the smack this year.  I am too tired, and want to be reclining while I eat my oranges.  So I will tell you lot my final total later.

Kinda defeats the whole purpose.
SHUT YOUR ORANGE HOLE, NON PARTICIPANT!

-sigh- i guess you're reight though.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 16, 2012, 04:00:39 pm
I will not be talking the smack this year.  I am too tired, and want to be reclining while I eat my oranges.  So I will tell you lot my final total later.

Kinda defeats the whole purpose.
SHUT YOUR ORANGE HOLE, NON PARTICIPANT!

-sigh- i guess you're reight though.

Fucking snap out of it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 04:04:01 pm
SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK.  WHO FUCKING SAID NAVELS ARE  A WINTER FRUIT?  GOD DAMMIT, THEY'RE RIGHT.  THESE BASTARDS ARE SO SWEET AS I CRAM THEM DOWN MY MAW.

ALSO, SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE, YOU SHITCOCKERS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 16, 2012, 04:16:22 pm
Where's the passion? Where's the showmanship? THIS ISN'T AN ORANGE-EATING CONTEST, IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF SPAGS QUIETLY EATING ORANGES.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 16, 2012, 04:16:55 pm
SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK.  WHO FUCKING SAID NAVELS ARE  A WINTER FRUIT?  GOD DAMMIT, THEY'RE RIGHT.  THESE BASTARDS ARE SO SWEET AS I CRAM THEM DOWN MY MAW.

ALSO, SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE, YOU SHITCOCKERS.


THAT'S THE SPIRIT!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 04:19:58 pm
HOLY SHITBALLS, i JUST STARTED ON NUMBER TWO.  AND BEFORE YOU GET ALL WHAT THE HELL YOU PANTY WAISTE, YOU FINISHED NUMBER ONE LIKE TEN MINUTES AGO!  I HAVE BEEN GETTING INTO A GROOVE.  YOU CAN'T FORCE IT, ANY MORE THAN YOU CAN FORCE SWEET, SWEET LOVING.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 04:23:42 pm
SO WHERE IS NET?  ALL I WAS READING WHILE CATCHING UP WAS HIM SHOUTING AT AN EMPTY ROOM, AND ONCE PEOPLE STARTED SHOWING UP, BAM! HE'S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. 

ALSO, TWO DOWN.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 04:40:27 pm
SO WHERE IS NET?  ALL I WAS READING WHILE CATCHING UP WAS HIM SHOUTING AT AN EMPTY ROOM, AND ONCE PEOPLE STARTED SHOWING UP, BAM! HE'S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. 

ALSO, TWO DOWN.



I WAS TOO BUSY SUMMONING A GHOST ASS TO PROTECT MY HIND FROM EVIL SPIRITS FOR THE TWO NEXT DAYS.

IT'S A DELICATE RITUAL FRAUGHT WITH HOLY-DINGLE-ANGELS AND PERILOUS CHAPS.

MEANWHILE I RETURN TO A ROOMFUL OF POWER-TOWELS FULL OF ASS-STAINS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 04:42:09 pm
GUESS WHAT SIMPERING COCKLE PORKERS, I *MUNCH* JUST FINISHED *CHEW CHEW* NUMBER THREE.

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?  PROBABLY CRYING INTO THEIR BOWLS OF FAILGES.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 04:47:24 pm
OHAI NET

I AM DEVOURING NUMBER FOUR RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.  YOU MAY HAVE BOUT TEN HOURS ON ME, BUT HOW LONG CAN YOU KEEP UP THE EATING?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 16, 2012, 04:47:48 pm



SUMMONING A GHOST ASS


 :lulz:

It's the "Let's talk about navkat's boyfriends" day
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 05:07:41 pm
I AM MAKING SWEET LOVING TO THESE ORANGES WHILE YOU IMPOTENT SPAGS JUST SIT THERE AND WATCH, CRYING INTO YOUR COFFEE, TEARS SPILLING DOWN YOUR FACE AND ONTO YOUR TINY FLACCID DICK WHICH CANNOT SATISFY YOUR OWN ORANGES.

IN OTHER WORDS, I JUST FINISHED NUMBER FIVE, ASSHOLES.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 05:23:56 pm
HOO HOO HOO, WHAT DO I SEE IN MY HAND?

FUCKING NOTHING, BECAUSE I JUST ATE MY SIXTH ORANGE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on January 16, 2012, 05:25:38 pm
I'm taking a poo break, and have just shat 23  :fnord: cumsnarfing orange s worth of pulp. Suck it, trout-butt spelunkers!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 16, 2012, 05:26:29 pm
Ew.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on January 16, 2012, 05:26:51 pm
Oh, god, I forgot about the smell  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 05:48:03 pm
OHAI NET

I AM DEVOURING NUMBER FOUR RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.  YOU MAY HAVE BOUT TEN HOURS ON ME, BUT HOW LONG CAN YOU KEEP UP THE EATING?



AT LEAST FOR ANOTHER 10 FEET OF INTESTINE, I'D RECKON.

EIGHTEEN.

AND NOW I HAVE TO GO TO AN ALREADY UNCOMFORTABLE APPOINTMENT AT SCHOOL.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 16, 2012, 06:00:12 pm
I'm taking a poo break, and have just shat 23  :fnord: cumsnarfing orange s worth of pulp. Suck it, trout-butt spelunkers!


THAT'S A CROCK OF DICKS THAT FELL OUT OF YOUR LYING GAPER OF A MOUTH.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 16, 2012, 06:15:03 pm


A CROCK OF DICKS


 :lulz:










*covet*
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on January 16, 2012, 07:12:17 pm
I will be unable to talk shit during most of my orange eating I have precisely 2 tasks today. I have to write 3 reviews on articles about hero cults in Ancient Greece, and I have to kick your juice-stained asses at orange eating. I have vowed to eat 1 orange per hundred words I write. I just finished my review of the first article, and it came out to eight hundred words. I must now eat eight oranges. Prepare meet your orangey doom.
(http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/9109/hpim3071m.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 08:24:14 pm
SWEET MERCIFUL SASSAFRAS OF GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I SIGNED UP FOR THIS SHIT AGAIN
an angry tirade by Professor Cramulus

I MEAN FOR FUCK'S WRINKLY SAKE, WHY WOULD ANY SANE HUMAN BEING AGREE TO POISON THEMSELVES HALF TO DEATH WITH ORANGES FOR NO GOD DAMN REASON AT ALL

I DON'T KNOW WHY I DO IT. FUCK YOU RIGHT BACK. RIGHT IN YOUR DISASTROUSLY MUSICAL BARN HOLE FOR A CHANGE.

SO TODAY I WOKE UP AND I SAID, "SHITCOCK"

IN FACT I SAID IT SIX OR SEVEN TIMES IN A ROW, BECAUSE WHEN I WAKE UP, I LIKE TO MAKE A POINT, AND I LIKE TO BE CLEAR


SO I JUMPED OUT OF BED AND LANDED IN MY CAR AND I PUT ON SUNGLASSES AND I WAS LIKE

LET'S DO THIS THING

and by that I mean
I WANT A BAGEL

and while I'm at the market I'll pick up
A MILLION FUCKING ORANGES AND EAT THEM UNTIL I VOMIT CITRIC ACID AND PEE OUT MY EYES WHILE DUMPING HELL BUCKETS OUT MY BARN HOLE AND PRETENDING LIKE I'M NOT GIVING BIRTH TO THE ORANGE EQUIVALENT OF THE CALIFORNIA-RAISINS DAMN THEY'RE SINGING IN MY GUTS DAMN

I WENT HOME AND I'M NOT SHITTING YOU
I'M NOT SHITTING YOU
I HAVE TAKEN SIX ORANGES TO MY DOME
I AM NOT SHITTING YOU TODAY

GUESS WHAT FUCKBRAIDS, THE WAITRESS IS HERE AND SHE'S READY TO TAKE YOUR ANAL NEUROTIC FUCK ORDER AND BRING YOU A TV-DINNER TRAY FULL OF AWFUL DICKLIKE MAGGOTS HUMPING EACH OTHER LIKE IT'S 1991 AND THE HUMPTY HUMP IS PLAYING AT A MIDDLE SCHOOL DANCE SOMEWHERE, AND THE MAGGOTS ARE JUST WORMING AROUND WITH ANXIOUS EYES JUST WRITHING IN THIS AWFUL UNSEXY WAY,

OKAY NOW VISUALIZE THAT ALL OF THOSE MIDDLE SCHOOLERS SLASH MAGGOTS ARE LIVING DOG SHIT

AND THEY ALL VOMIT ACID ON YOU

THEN THEY BLOW UP AND GET SHIT EVERYWHERE
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 16, 2012, 08:25:38 pm
Cramulus doesn't make you shit.

He makes you shit better.

 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cain on January 16, 2012, 08:27:43 pm

and by that I mean
I WANT A BAGEL


Hey man, I was having a bagel eating competition a few days ago.  No-one wanted to take part.  Don't blame me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on January 16, 2012, 08:40:47 pm
NOW LISTEN HERE YOU CODSWALLOPING FUCKTARDS.

THANKS TO THE POWERS THAT BE OF MOTHER FUCKING NATURE IN FLORIDA AND MY PARENTS BACKYARD, I HAVE PROCURED A DISGUSTING AMOUNT OF FRESH NAVEL ORANGES AND GRAPEFRUITS THAT HAVE BEEN MEETING THEIR MATCH WITH MY MANDIBLE MASTICATION OF MAMMOTH MANAGEABILITY. NO, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT IT'S FUCKING ALLITERATION SO BLOW IT OUT YOUR PEE HOLES, YOU FALLOPIAN FLAPPING PENIS WRINKLES.

I'M ON SEVEN. AND THE GRAPEFRUITS ARE SHOWING THEIR JEALOUSY. WILL I HAVE TO UP THE ANTE OF ACIDITY?!!

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 08:44:24 pm
THIS IS BETTER THAN THE JIZZ OLYMPICS WHEN WE ALL GOT INCURABLE BUICK INFECTIONS AND I SET MY CATS PENIS ON FIRE
               /
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/forum/horrormirth1-1.gif)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on January 16, 2012, 08:55:25 pm
SORRY TO HEAR
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on January 16, 2012, 09:05:22 pm
LISTEN UP, YOU SHITCOCKING FUCKHOLES. I MAY BE OFF TO A SLOW START, BUT GUESS WHAT? I AM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU! WHY? PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN COCKSTAINS!
(http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/6979/hpim3072c.jpg)
(http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/7443/hpim3073.jpg)
(http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/8220/hpim3074h.jpg)
(http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/6643/hpim3077p.jpg)
(http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/6503/hpim3078.jpg)
(http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/8817/hpim3079q.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 09:27:51 pm
halfway through orange #8

urggggh my gutsssssss

the acid is dealing ongoing damage....

I've just gotta focus on my spirit animal: the Cobra.
Specifically Sly Stallone in the movie Cobra


(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/41/Cobra_movie_poster.jpg/220px-Cobra_movie_poster.jpg)

What would Cobra do?

he'd eat 100 oranges and then set the rinds on fire without reading them their rights
okay okay okay

I can get through this
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 09:57:06 pm
Text from Net:

"Hey Cram, Net here. Please inform the spags I started vomiting blood. I'm waiting to see a doctor right now. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE



Next message:

They're trying to keep me out of the ER. Gave me Zofram some sort of anti-nausea bollocks that dissolves under one's idiotic tongue.





SCROTE MERCIFUL FUCKWAD NET IS VOMITING BLOOD? HOLY GOD DAMN INSANE MEDICAL JIZZ PATROL THIS CONTEST ROCKS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 16, 2012, 09:58:06 pm
Text from Net:

"Hey Cram, Net here. Please inform the spags I started vomiting blood. I'm waiting to see a doctor right now. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE



Next message:

They're trying to keep me out of the ER. Gave me Zofram some sort of anti-nausea bollocks that dissolves under one's idiotic tongue.





SCROTE MERCIFUL FUCKWAD NET IS VOMITING BLOOD? HOLY GOD DAMN INSANE MEDICAL JIZZ PATROL THIS CONTEST ROCKS

For serious?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 16, 2012, 09:59:42 pm
 :eek:

I'm almost glad I wasn't able to participate this time around
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 16, 2012, 10:00:08 pm
:eek:

I'm almost glad I wasn't able to participate this time around

I'm feeling more than a little smug & vindicated. 

Though I hope Net's okay.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 10:02:05 pm
my god.. my guts hurt ... from laughing

and also from oranges


Why do we do this to ourselves?

Net says he ate 18 balls of California hate. A little more than 8 pounds of oranges.

WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on January 16, 2012, 10:02:36 pm
I quit.

I got those burps again, and I can feel the burning sensation beginning to creep it's way down. Though I DID eat more than just oranges this time!!

Why the hell do we think this is a good idea again!?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 16, 2012, 10:02:48 pm
my god.. my guts hurt ... from laughing

and also from oranges


Why do we do this to ourselves?

Net says he ate 18 balls of California hate. A little more than 8 pounds of oranges.

WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES

He'll be lucky to escape a ruptured intestine.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on January 16, 2012, 10:04:45 pm
Text from Net:

"Hey Cram, Net here. Please inform the spags I started vomiting blood. I'm waiting to see a doctor right now. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE



Next message:

They're trying to keep me out of the ER. Gave me Zofram some sort of anti-nausea bollocks that dissolves under one's idiotic tongue.





SCROTE MERCIFUL FUCKWAD NET IS VOMITING BLOOD? HOLY GOD DAMN INSANE MEDICAL JIZZ PATROL THIS CONTEST ROCKS

HOLY ZOMBIE FUCK! Hope he's ok! Shit!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 16, 2012, 10:06:56 pm
SORRY TO HEAR

Beat me to it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 10:07:38 pm
Official Purple Orange Award Proclimation

NET WINS THE PURPLE ORANGE AWARD FOR 2012. IT IS AWARDED TO A SPAG INJURED OR DISCHARGED IN ACTION WHILE PARTICIPATING IN A FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST. IT IS A HIGH HONOR AND ALSO A DISGRACEFUL MARK THAT YOU MUST WEAR IN SHAME AND MOCKERY IN PERPETUITY.

SO WHILE YOU MAY FEEL BAD FOR NET, BE JEALOUS AS WELL
for he both rules and is stupid in ways none of us have achieved

REACH FOR THE STARS, SPAGS


Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 10:14:58 pm
TEXT FROM NET;

Zoomcare referred me to the ER to locate the source of the bleeding. Now would be an amusing time to repost some of my shit talking in the Famous Last Words thread.


_______________




Can you imagine the conversation he had with the nurse? I wonder how he explained, with a straight face, why he ate 8 pounds of oranges in like three hours?

(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/pdinfinity.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on January 16, 2012, 10:16:50 pm
TEXT FROM NET;

Zoomcare referred me to the ER to locate the source of the bleeding. Now would be an amusing time to repost some of my shit talking in the Famous Last Words thread.


_______________




Can you imagine the conversation he had with the nurse? I wonder how he explained, with a straight face, why he ate 8 pounds of oranges in like three hours?
Would he have had a straight face?

I wonder how long until this makes it on the internets. I bet someone he ran into at the ER will tweet it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 10:17:38 pm
#Quotes of the moment, my roommate: "In case you thought 'eating a sickening amount of oranges' was just a phrase..."
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 16, 2012, 10:24:47 pm
Like, I puked a few hours after finishing 21, but no blood. I think I paced them out a little more than Net, but I don't know for sure.

Hope he's ok, and that the doctors and nurses got a discreet and unprofessional chuckle out of it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 16, 2012, 10:32:59 pm
Text from Net:

"Hey Cram, Net here. Please inform the spags I started vomiting blood. I'm waiting to see a doctor right now. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE



Next message:

They're trying to keep me out of the ER. Gave me Zofram some sort of anti-nausea bollocks that dissolves under one's idiotic tongue.





SCROTE MERCIFUL FUCKWAD NET IS VOMITING BLOOD? HOLY GOD DAMN INSANE MEDICAL JIZZ PATROL THIS CONTEST ROCKS

Oh no! NOOOOOOOO!!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 10:33:59 pm
SHIT FUCK DAMN

I HOPE NET IS OKAY BUT

DOES THIS MEAN HE QUITS?


Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on January 16, 2012, 10:34:30 pm
JESUS FUCK.

Hope Net's okay.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 16, 2012, 10:35:08 pm
Official Purple Orange Award Proclimation

NET WINS THE PURPLE ORANGE AWARD FOR 2012. IT IS AWARDED TO A SPAG INJURED OR DISCHARGED IN ACTION WHILE PARTICIPATING IN A FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST. IT IS A HIGH HONOR AND ALSO A DISGRACEFUL MARK THAT YOU MUST WEAR IN SHAME AND MOCKERY IN PERPETUITY.

SO WHILE YOU MAY FEEL BAD FOR NET, BE JEALOUS AS WELL
for he both rules and is stupid in ways none of us have achieved

REACH FOR THE STARS, SPAGS

You know, it's not shitting yourself at the office

but vomiting blood is a close second. I am going to have an orange right now, in his honor.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 16, 2012, 10:35:42 pm
Good excuse to create a medal, IMO.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 10:36:10 pm

DOES THIS MEAN HE QUITS?


it means he WINS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 16, 2012, 10:36:40 pm
I am almost sad that I'm not participating this year. :(

ALMOST.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cain on January 16, 2012, 10:37:20 pm
The way he was going, I'm surprised Net has not already shat out his own colon. 

I shall drink a hot chocolate to honour his achievement.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 10:37:58 pm

DOES THIS MEAN HE QUITS?


it means he WINS

CONGRATS, NET.  HOPE YOU DON'T DIE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 10:44:49 pm
Using the magic of the quote function, let's go back in time a few hours.......

YOU TURBID GERBIL-SMUGGLERS MADE EIGHT POUNDS OF ORANGES SOUND WAY WORSE THAN IT ACTUALLY IS.

 :pax:

 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on January 16, 2012, 10:45:46 pm
Using the magic of the quote function, let's go back in time a few hours.......

YOU TURBID GERBIL-SMUGGLERS MADE EIGHT POUNDS OF ORANGES SOUND WAY WORSE THAN IT ACTUALLY IS.

 :pax:

 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 10:46:57 pm
 :lulz:  Famous last words indeed.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on January 16, 2012, 10:50:43 pm
Maybe we should start a collection for a gift basket for Net.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on January 16, 2012, 10:58:14 pm
Of Tums and Prep H, I'm sure.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on January 16, 2012, 10:59:59 pm
Of Tums and Prep H, I'm sure.
I was thinking of grapefruits. 16 pounds of grapefruits.  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on January 16, 2012, 11:00:10 pm
So, what are the totals so far?

I'm holding at 23 right now.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 16, 2012, 11:01:43 pm
So, what are the totals so far?

I'm holding at 23 right now.

are you fucking shitting me?

like, Navel oranges? Size of a Magic 8-Ball Navel oranges?

jesus christ if that's true you already won
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 11:02:29 pm
8 BIG ASS ORANGES, MEATFUCKS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on January 16, 2012, 11:04:10 pm
Navels, yo!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 16, 2012, 11:06:36 pm
6 MOTHERFUCKERS!! PERSONAL BEST.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on January 16, 2012, 11:06:59 pm
Of Tums and Prep H, I'm sure.
I was thinking of grapefruits. 16 pounds of grapefruits.  :lulz:
:D :hi5:  :D
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on January 16, 2012, 11:08:20 pm
I have devoured 8, and will be continuing my domination of oranges when I finish my next review. (I have been procrastinating, damn me).
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 16, 2012, 11:08:34 pm
If I didn't have to buy them in batches of 100 I'd TOTALLY buy Net one of those enameled bronze coins with a picture of an orange on it, and "FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST" around the edges
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 16, 2012, 11:11:19 pm
from Net:

The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.



_____

yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 16, 2012, 11:28:52 pm
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v511/Navkat/PurpleOrangeS.png)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 16, 2012, 11:54:37 pm
from Net:

The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.



_____

yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas

I've been screaming about this from the beginning.

And nobody made him "compete".

You fuckers are nuts.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 17, 2012, 12:05:33 am
from Net:

The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.



_____

yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas

That really doesn't sound good.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 12:07:09 am
from Net:

The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.



_____

yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas

That really doesn't sound good.

EIGHT POUNDS of ANYTHING is bad fucking news.  Eight pounds of CITRIC ACID-LOADED oranges is pretty near suicide.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 17, 2012, 12:08:06 am
Up to fifteen now. Think I'll call it a day.

(http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s131/Slesk/Photoon1-17-12at104AM3.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 17, 2012, 12:35:16 am
from Net:

The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.



_____

yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas

That really doesn't sound good.

EIGHT POUNDS of ANYTHING is bad fucking news.  Eight pounds of CITRIC ACID-LOADED oranges is pretty near suicide.

I ate 11 lbs last year.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 12:36:27 am
from Net:

The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.



_____

yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas

That really doesn't sound good.

EIGHT POUNDS of ANYTHING is bad fucking news.  Eight pounds of CITRIC ACID-LOADED oranges is pretty near suicide.

I ate 11 lbs last year.

But you can unhinge your jaw and eat a whole midget.  Different case entirely.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 17, 2012, 12:52:52 am
Yeah, but I also ate only one less orange than Nigel last time. And me, I'm about as wimpy white-bread suburban sissy as they come.

Clearly there is an Orange Force which has a Dark and a Light side. Or something.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 17, 2012, 12:54:51 am
from Net:

The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.



_____

yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas

That really doesn't sound good.

EIGHT POUNDS of ANYTHING is bad fucking news.  Eight pounds of CITRIC ACID-LOADED oranges is pretty near suicide.

I ate 11 lbs last year.

But you can unhinge your jaw and eat a whole midget.  Different case entirely.

 :lol:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 12:59:06 am
from Net:

The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.



_____

yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas

That really doesn't sound good.

EIGHT POUNDS of ANYTHING is bad fucking news.  Eight pounds of CITRIC ACID-LOADED oranges is pretty near suicide.

I ate 11 lbs last year.

But you can unhinge your jaw and eat a whole midget.  Different case entirely.

 :lol:

One of these days I'm going to have to collect up all the Nigel facts.

And the Richter ones, too.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 17, 2012, 01:04:16 am
from Net:

The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.



_____

yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas

That really doesn't sound good.

EIGHT POUNDS of ANYTHING is bad fucking news.  Eight pounds of CITRIC ACID-LOADED oranges is pretty near suicide.

I ate 11 lbs last year.

But you can unhinge your jaw and eat a whole midget.  Different case entirely.

 :lol:

One of these days I'm going to have to collect up all the Nigel facts.

And the Richter ones, too.

Oooh, I'd like that!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Telarus on January 17, 2012, 01:05:00 am
Holyshit you spags. I hope Net is OK. Have we heard from him recently?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 01:06:05 am
Holyshit you spags. I hope Net is OK. Have we heard from him recently?

1.  Under no circumstances is vomiting blood "okay".  I just hope he's alive.

2.  He's been texting cram.  That's about it.  Nothing for the last few hours.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on January 17, 2012, 01:56:31 am
My system pretty much told me to stop after 7 navel oranges this time around. I'm not feeling "good", but I'm "okay". I couldn't even think of eating 8 pounds...

I know this contest was funny as hell when it started, but anyone vomiting blood is bad. No matter how lulzy even they are taking it. Just sayin'.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Eater of Clowns on January 17, 2012, 02:00:37 am
It would be a shame if Net's condition was let slip to the local media, sparking an outrage on the new dangerous orange eating contest craze.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Pæs on January 17, 2012, 02:46:17 am
Net is my fucking hero. I don't care how many oranges you other spags eat, if you don't end up in hospital trying to explain TO THE WALL to nurses who are laughing at you, you ain't got nothing.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 17, 2012, 03:11:30 am
Net is my fucking hero.

this!

no word from Net in a while-- just texted him, fingers crossed that they didn't have to amputate his stomach or something
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kai on January 17, 2012, 03:13:43 am
Wow. I hope Net is alright. You guys are insane and I am laughing so hard. Why am I laughing at this, VOMITING BLOOD IS SO NOT FUNNY?!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 17, 2012, 03:18:15 am
from Net:

The Doc said I should be fine and that stomachs are pretty badass organs. I was just discharged.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on January 17, 2012, 03:20:54 am
from Net:

The Doc said I should be fine and that stomachs are pretty badass organs. I was just discharged.

Yay!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Pæs on January 17, 2012, 03:27:35 am
TELL HIM HE HAS TO EAT SIX MORE TO WIN.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kai on January 17, 2012, 03:31:11 am
TELL HIM HE HAS TO EAT SIX MORE TO WIN.

 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Juana Go? on January 17, 2012, 03:41:19 am
aargh, I wish I had been paying attention! I woulda joined this year!
And NET YOU CRAZY FUCKER.

Up to fifteen now. Think I'll call it a day.

(http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s131/Slesk/Photoon1-17-12at104AM3.jpg)
Your cigarette, sir. Is it backwards? Is that some Eurospag thing?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Eater of Clowns on January 17, 2012, 03:45:18 am
Tonight on eye witness news, Orange Eating Contests, the deadly game sweeping the nation.  A harmless consumption of seasonal citrus, or an acidic nightmare waiting to prey upon its unsuspecting victims
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kai on January 17, 2012, 03:48:08 am
Tonight on eye witness news, Orange Eating Contests, the deadly game sweeping the nation.  A harmless consumption of seasonal citrus, or an acidic nightmare waiting to prey upon its unsuspecting victims

YOU DECIDE!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 17, 2012, 05:57:10 am
I'm still perversely entertained by this whole thing and I hope you are too.

Also, I'm honored to receive the Purple Orange and sincerely appreciate the concern for my health.

I will need a little time to go over the rest of this thread, to sleep, to track down possible pics of The Initial Barf, and to make my thoughts a bit more, uh, digestible.

Good game, asshats.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on January 17, 2012, 06:02:44 am
It is officially midnight, and I have failed to achieve my stated goal, devouring only 10 and one half oranges, though I completed over 2000 words. I am shamed! The only recourse I have is ritual suicide via Net's acidic blood vomit.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 17, 2012, 06:04:40 am
HE LIVES!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Telarus on January 17, 2012, 06:22:45 am
HE LIVES!

 :pax:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 17, 2012, 07:59:18 am
I'm still perversely entertained by this whole thing and I hope you are too.

Also, I'm honored to receive the Purple Orange and sincerely appreciate the concern for my health.

I will need a little time to go over the rest of this thread, to sleep, to track down possible pics of The Initial Barf, and to make my thoughts a bit more, uh, digestible.

Good game, asshats.

Net, YOU ARE A FUCKING HERO.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 17, 2012, 08:32:29 am
I'm still perversely entertained by this whole thing and I hope you are too.

Also, I'm honored to receive the Purple Orange and sincerely appreciate the concern for my health.

I will need a little time to go over the rest of this thread, to sleep, to track down possible pics of The Initial Barf, and to make my thoughts a bit more, uh, digestible.

Good game, asshats.

Net, YOU ARE A FUCKING HERO.

SECONDED
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nast on January 17, 2012, 08:38:51 am
Oh gosh Net! Glad you're alive.

Was it a stomach ulcer?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 17, 2012, 09:02:18 am
aargh, I wish I had been paying attention! I woulda joined this year!
And NET YOU CRAZY FUCKER.

Up to fifteen now. Think I'll call it a day.

(http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s131/Slesk/Photoon1-17-12at104AM3.jpg)
Your cigarette, sir. Is it backwards? Is that some Eurospag thing?

Wat? Naw, it's in my mouth the right way. :)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on January 17, 2012, 10:38:53 am
Damn, Net, hope you recover without that thing that makes you walk through the produce section and start twitching uncontrollably.

Also, quiet, understated post which bears repeating:

Oh, god, I forgot about the smell  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on January 17, 2012, 12:26:00 pm
Damn, Net, hope you recover without that thing that makes you walk through the produce section and start twitching uncontrollably.

Also, quiet, understated post which bears repeating:

Oh, god, I forgot about the smell  :horrormirth:

Who is this guy anyway, and did he REALLY eat 23 oranges??

(Net still wins on account of being hospitalized, regardless)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 17, 2012, 01:22:40 pm
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v511/Navkat/PurpleOrangeS.png)

HIP-HIP-HORRAAAAY!

QUICK, SOMEONE MAKE A FACEBOOK GROUP HONOURING THE ULCERITIC SACRIFICES OF AN HERO.

NET SUFFERED FOR YUOR SINS AND MUST BE VENERATED IN PRAISE AND REJOICE!

LET US LIFT OUR HANDS ON HIGH AND LIFT OUR VOICES IN WORSHIP FOR NET, KING OF KINGS, MARTYR AN HERO.

WE MUST PASS A COLLECTION PLATE TO RECOMPENSE AND ATONE FOR HIS MEDICAL SUFFERING AND HONOUR HIS NAME. WE MUST HONOUR THIS DAY WITH THE EATING OF A SINGLE BLOOD-ORANGE TO SYMBOLIZE INTESTINAL BLOOD SPILLED BY AN BENEVOLENT HERO.

ALL HERE BEAR WITNESS TO THESE ACTS OF GLORY. I ASK: WHO AMONG US SHALL DENY HIM?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 17, 2012, 01:24:58 pm
We must venerialate Him.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on January 17, 2012, 03:05:13 pm
...and how are we feeling this morning?

-Suu
Bathroom run at 5am. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 17, 2012, 03:07:56 pm
Explosive bathroom run at 5 AM

Another at 8 AM

gotta hit the head again right now


SORRY BOWELS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: bds on January 17, 2012, 03:10:32 pm
HOLY SHITTING FUCKBALLS I LEAVE THIS PLACE ALONE FOR LIKE 2 WEEKS AND THIS HAPPENS?

SWEET MERCIFUL ASSJIZZ, THIS IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I'VE EVER READ
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on January 17, 2012, 04:42:21 pm
HEY ASSHOLES, ASIDE FROM SLIGHT ACIDIC DAMAGE TO MY LIPS, AND THE FACT THAT EVERYTHING STILL TASTES LIKE FUCKING ORANGES, I'M FINE.  :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on January 17, 2012, 05:12:29 pm
The first time around, Cram shit his pance.

The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.

Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.

HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 17, 2012, 05:13:54 pm
HEY ASSHOLES, ASIDE FROM SLIGHT ACIDIC DAMAGE TO MY LIPS, AND THE FACT THAT EVERYTHING STILL TASTES LIKE FUCKING ORANGES, I'M FINE.  :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

Fuck you. My arse hurts. And i have a fever.  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 17, 2012, 05:34:33 pm
HEY ASSHOLES, ASIDE FROM SLIGHT ACIDIC DAMAGE TO MY LIPS, AND THE FACT THAT EVERYTHING STILL TASTES LIKE FUCKING ORANGES, I'M FINE.  :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

Fuck you. My arse hurts. And i have a fever.  :lulz:

Well, if you're catching a cold, you're probably set on vitamin C.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 17, 2012, 05:36:20 pm
HEY ASSHOLES, ASIDE FROM SLIGHT ACIDIC DAMAGE TO MY LIPS, AND THE FACT THAT EVERYTHING STILL TASTES LIKE FUCKING ORANGES, I'M FINE.  :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

Fuck you. My arse hurts. And i have a fever.  :lulz:

Well, if you're catching a cold, you're probably set on vitamin C.

That's something, I guess.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 17, 2012, 07:51:49 pm
The first time around, Cram shit his pance.

The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.

Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.

HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?

A mystery that may be solved in about 8 months. :)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on January 17, 2012, 08:15:08 pm
Next time, we first ask Eris to SURPRISE US.

Also, I'm still wondering who Dingus Thingus Rurouzaru is? Anyone we know but changed their name? The account's pretty old? Placid Dingo perhaps? And did he REALLY eat 23 oranges? He should at least get honorary second.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 08:17:14 pm
Next time, we first ask Eris to SURPRISE US.

Also, I'm still wondering who Dingus Thingus Rurouzaru is? Anyone we know but changed their name? The account's pretty old? Placid Dingo perhaps? And did he REALLY eat 23 oranges? He should at least get honorary second.

Whomever ate the most oranges wins.

You don't win the Indy 500 by smashing your car into the stands.  I mean, that's a win in anybody's book, but you didn't win the race.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 17, 2012, 08:20:24 pm
Maybe next time y'all should try something that won't make you sick but is something that is a challenge to eat?

Like a turnip eating contest or maybe a beet eating contest?  Something odd where the challenge is as much to eat it as it is how many?  Sardines?  Goat balls? (NOT SERIOUS) But you see where I'm coming from......

I knew from the start I couldn't do the orange eating one, I get those little ulcers in my mouth if I eat one orange :( 

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 17, 2012, 08:21:24 pm
Next time, we first ask Eris to SURPRISE US.

Also, I'm still wondering who Dingus Thingus Rurouzaru is? Anyone we know but changed their name? The account's pretty old? Placid Dingo perhaps? And did he REALLY eat 23 oranges? He should at least get honorary second.

Whomever ate the most oranges wins.

You don't win the Indy 500 by smashing your car into the stands.  I mean, that's a win in anybody's book, but you didn't win the race.

No, there's been two kinds of wins each time we've done this.  Nigel ate the most the first two times and won that way, and the first time Cram also won by shitting his pance at work.  The second time Cainad won because he puked and then kept going.

So Rurozaru, if he really ate 23 oranges, won by eating hte most, and Net won by puking blood.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 17, 2012, 08:22:20 pm
Maybe next time y'all should try something that won't make you sick

WHERE IS THE FUN IN THAT??
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 08:22:53 pm
Maybe next time y'all should try something that won't make you sick

WHERE IS THE FUN IN THAT??

Outside of the ER?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 17, 2012, 08:23:22 pm
Maybe next time y'all should try something that won't make you sick

WHERE IS THE FUN IN THAT??

My bad.  I didn't realize THAT was the goal....  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 17, 2012, 08:23:51 pm
The first time around, Cram shit his pance.

The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.

Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.

HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?

If you guys weren't such wimps you'd join me in the Grape Eating Contest.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 17, 2012, 08:24:51 pm
The first time around, Cram shit his pance.

The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.

Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.

HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?

If you guys weren't such wimps you'd join me in the Grape Eating Contest.

See now I could eat a shit ton of grapes if they were so damned expensive.  Especially if credit were given for juice...  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on January 17, 2012, 09:12:10 pm
The first time around, Cram shit his pance.

The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.

Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.

HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?

If you guys weren't such wimps you'd join me in the Grapefruit Eating Contest.
Seriously how i read that the first time. To which I say a hearty "You're fucking on!"

As for grapes, I would also be down. Though they would harder to keep accurate counts of. THAT'S PART OF THE CHALLENGE!  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 09:17:50 pm
The only good thing that came of this was that we turned Waffle Iron into a Murriken by means of senseless gluttony.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Elder Iptuous on January 17, 2012, 09:20:55 pm
why isn't this by weight anyways?
it's not like there isn't a scale right there at the point of purchase for the stuff....
i mean, i might participate in the next bout of Pyrrhic citrus glory, but i specialize in clementine guzzling.  it would hardly be fair of me to count each of those diminutive pearls of pH punishment on the level with the hulking and clumsy navel cannonballs....
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 17, 2012, 09:24:50 pm
why isn't this by weight anyways?

For the same reason the Aztecs didn't measure human sacrifice in fluid ounces, despite there being buckets everywhere.

"I ate fucking 10 god damn oranges WHAT? WHAT?" is way more bad ass than "Pip pip, I politely consumed 4 kilograms of oranges minus, if you don't count the inedible rinds. Goodness!"
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on January 17, 2012, 09:32:02 pm
why isn't this by weight anyways?
it's not like there isn't a scale right there at the point of purchase for the stuff....
i mean, i might participate in the next bout of Pyrrhic citrus glory, but i specialize in clementine guzzling.  it would hardly be fair of me to count each of those diminutive pearls of pH punishment on the level with the hulking and clumsy navel cannonballs....
I think Valencias counted as 3/4 of a navel last time, right? So if we came up with a fair measure for Clementines...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 17, 2012, 09:35:36 pm
IT A GOD DAMN FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

YES, YOU COULD EAT A COMPARABLE VOLUME OF CLEMENTINES, GRAPES, STRAWBERRY DAIQUIRIS, FLINTSTONES VITAMINS, FRUIT SNACKS, EDIBLE UNDERWEAR, SNOZBERRIES, MERKINS, WHATEVER, BUT YOU WILL NOT WIN THE FUCKING FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 09:36:26 pm
For the same reason the Aztecs didn't measure human sacrifice in fluid ounces, despite there being buckets everywhere.

 :lulz:

:potd:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Elder Iptuous on January 17, 2012, 09:38:08 pm
bullshit.
you think Huitzilopochtli would be just as happy with an equal number of little pansy assed hearts, as opposed to those of some cornfed field hand? no way.
lookie here. you think this priest is holding the heart up for dramatic effect? no. he's scrutinizing for volumentric significance.
(http://www.latinamericanstudies.org/aztecs/aztecs40.gif)
look they tallied this shit with precision!  they used a damned abacus to tell Tlaloc exactly how many cc's of blood and kilos of heart that they pulled out to offer up.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/ae/Tzompantli_Tovar.jpeg/350px-Tzompantli_Tovar.jpeg)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Phox on January 17, 2012, 09:39:07 pm
IT A GOD DAMN FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

YES, YOU COULD EAT A COMPARABLE VOLUME OF CLEMENTINES, GRAPES, STRAWBERRY DAIQUIRIS, FLINTSTONES VITAMINS, FRUIT SNACKS, EDIBLE UNDERWEAR, SNOZBERRIES, MERKINS, WHATEVER, BUT YOU WILL NOT WIN THE FUCKING FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

Clementines are oranges.  :lol:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on January 17, 2012, 11:52:37 pm
"Pip pip, I politely consumed 4 kilograms of oranges minus, if you don't count the inedible rinds. Goodness!"

Stop using metric as if you know what it means!

Net ate approximately 3700 mSv of oranges!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Luna on January 18, 2012, 12:00:05 am
IT A GOD DAMN FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

YES, YOU COULD EAT A COMPARABLE VOLUME OF CLEMENTINES, GRAPES, STRAWBERRY DAIQUIRIS, FLINTSTONES VITAMINS, FRUIT SNACKS, EDIBLE UNDERWEAR, SNOZBERRIES, MERKINS, WHATEVER, BUT YOU WILL NOT WIN THE FUCKING FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST


I'm down for the strawberry daiquiri contest.   :p
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 18, 2012, 12:00:17 am
why isn't this by weight anyways?
it's not like there isn't a scale right there at the point of purchase for the stuff....
i mean, i might participate in the next bout of Pyrrhic citrus glory, but i specialize in clementine guzzling.  it would hardly be fair of me to count each of those diminutive pearls of pH punishment on the level with the hulking and clumsy navel cannonballs....
I think Valencias counted as 3/4 of a navel last time, right? So if we came up with a fair measure for Clementines...

I actually think that calls for a whole different contest.

Also, I think that last time (after the contest) we ruled that from now on it's Navels to Navels, or Valencias to Valencias, but the two should never be mixed within a contest. Something about Valencias being juicier as well as smaller, I think.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 18, 2012, 12:00:39 am
IT A GOD DAMN FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST

YES, YOU COULD EAT A COMPARABLE VOLUME OF CLEMENTINES, GRAPES, STRAWBERRY DAIQUIRIS, FLINTSTONES VITAMINS, FRUIT SNACKS, EDIBLE UNDERWEAR, SNOZBERRIES, MERKINS, WHATEVER, BUT YOU WILL NOT WIN THE FUCKING FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST


Also, this.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 18, 2012, 12:02:25 am
Also, I SWEAR TO GOD I would enjoy the hell out of WATCHING a sardine-eating contest, but I like my bowels to function so there is no fucking way I would compete. That would be like participating in a fucking cheese and banana eating contest. I know EXACTLY what happens when you eat too many sardines, and it is roughly exactly the opposite of what happens when you eat too many oranges so NO, THANK YOU.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 18, 2012, 12:13:05 am
Oh gosh Net! Glad you're alive.

Was it a stomach ulcer?

It most likely wasn't an ulcer. I had been taking a lot, but not excessive amounts, of ibuprofen last week which I now know weakens the lining of your stomach. There were two different doctors' opinions on what was bleeding, either my stomach or my esophagus (from barfing up such a large quantity of fibrous matter).

I just slept for about 18 hours, feel even better today and am preparing to go to work.

Again, thank you all for expressing your concern and support which was relayed to me yesterday by Cram.

I'm still composing a little debriefing that I'll post tonight after my shift is over, as well as responses to the superb posts that I don't have time right now to properly show my appreciation for.

I'm also still chuckling.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 18, 2012, 12:17:44 am
The first time around, Cram shit his pance.

The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.

Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.

HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?

If you guys weren't such wimps you'd join me in the Grape Eating Contest.

See now I could eat a shit ton of grapes if they were so damned expensive.  Especially if credit were given for juice...  :lulz:

nope, has to be grapes. And not those pussy seedless ones either. You should be able to find them pretty cheap at a farmers market, if they're grown anywhere nearby. I ended up getting about 25+ pounds of them for $17. And I ate about 3 pounds of them in one evening (Grape Eating Contest goes by weight, not like those silly oranges).

I spent the next 2 days power-shitting copious piles of grape pulp. Oranges are nothing.

NOTHING, I SAY.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on January 18, 2012, 12:22:10 am
Oh gosh Net! Glad you're alive.

Was it a stomach ulcer?

It most likely wasn't an ulcer. I had been taking a lot, but not excessive amounts, of ibuprofen last week which I now know weakens the lining of your stomach. There were two different doctors' opinions on what was bleeding, either my stomach or my esophagus (from barfing up such a large quantity of fibrous matter).

I just slept for about 18 hours, feel even better today and am preparing to go to work.

Again, thank you all for expressing your concern and support which was relayed to me yesterday by Cram.

I'm still composing a little debriefing that I'll post tonight after my shift is over, as well as responses to the superb posts that I don't have time right now to properly show my appreciation for.

I'm also still chuckling.

:mittens:

I also changed your avatar, Willy Wonka style except oranges instead of blueberries.

(I still got the old one, will change it back if you want)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 18, 2012, 03:19:46 am
The first time around, Cram shit his pance.

The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.

Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.

HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?

If you guys weren't such wimps you'd join me in the Grape Eating Contest.

See now I could eat a shit ton of grapes if they were so damned expensive.  Especially if credit were given for juice...  :lulz:

nope, has to be grapes. And not those pussy seedless ones either. You should be able to find them pretty cheap at a farmers market, if they're grown anywhere nearby. I ended up getting about 25+ pounds of them for $17. And I ate about 3 pounds of them in one evening (Grape Eating Contest goes by weight, not like those silly oranges).

I spent the next 2 days power-shitting copious piles of grape pulp. Oranges are nothing.

NOTHING, I SAY.

The lovecraftian horrors I flushed down the toilet at 5, 8, and 11 AM today rattled my sanity. But you're right - oranges are just the tip of the iceberg. I quiver at the mere thought of THE GRAPES OF WRATHSHIT.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: bds on January 18, 2012, 07:50:52 am
I would be SO down for grapes! I love the little squishy shit-devils.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: navkat on January 18, 2012, 01:45:37 pm
Cantelope seems relatively innocuous...and not too unpleasant to vom.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Slurrealist on January 18, 2012, 02:02:02 pm
Just reading the whole thread filled my gastrointestinal  tract with unpleasant burning sensations the entry to the exit.
I know that causing a lot of physical harm to your body is one of the ways to get out from one of the biggest BIPs, but this is just fucking insane.
For the next round, I recommend almonds.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 18, 2012, 04:10:44 pm
The only good thing that came of this was that we turned Waffle Iron into a Murriken by means of senseless gluttony.

What the cock is a Murriken? Some sort of Tusconian Merkin?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Elder Iptuous on January 18, 2012, 04:14:05 pm
he meant 'murriken.
it is our fashion to increase efficiency by dropping the preceeding 'Uh'.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on January 18, 2012, 05:20:55 pm
he meant 'murriken.
it is our fashion to increase efficiency by dropping the preceeding 'Uh'.

Of course. Silly me. When do I get my green card?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Triple Zero on January 18, 2012, 05:52:04 pm
The only good thing that came of this was that we turned Waffle Iron into a Murriken by means of senseless gluttony.

What the cock is a Murriken? Some sort of Tusconian Merkin?

I told you, it's a phonetic spelling of "Moroccan"!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Kahuna Gorilla on January 18, 2012, 06:43:06 pm
Oh gosh Net! Glad you're alive.

Was it a stomach ulcer?

It most likely wasn't an ulcer. I had been taking a lot, but not excessive amounts, of ibuprofen last week which I now know weakens the lining of your stomach. There were two different doctors' opinions on what was bleeding, either my stomach or my esophagus (from barfing up such a large quantity of fibrous matter).

I just slept for about 18 hours, feel even better today and am preparing to go to work.

Again, thank you all for expressing your concern and support which was relayed to me yesterday by Cram.

I'm still composing a little debriefing that I'll post tonight after my shift is over, as well as responses to the superb posts that I don't have time right now to properly show my appreciation for.

I'm also still chuckling.

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better dude!

You win, btw. :)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 18, 2012, 07:47:30 pm
I know that causing a lot of physical harm to your body is one of the ways to get out from one of the biggest BIPs

Excuse me, what in the shitcocking fuck are you talking about?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Don Coyote on January 18, 2012, 07:48:43 pm
I know that causing a lot of physical harm to your body is one of the ways to get out from one of the biggest BIPs

Excuse me, what in the shitcocking fuck are you talking about?

Killing yourself. I think.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on January 18, 2012, 07:51:56 pm
I know that causing a lot of physical harm to your body is one of the ways to get out from one of the biggest BIPs

Excuse me, what in the shitcocking fuck are you talking about?

Killing yourself. I think.

I didn't want to make a judgement before, but I am now on the official position "Slurrealist says FUCKING RETARDED things."
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 18, 2012, 07:55:03 pm
The FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST isn't an explicit rebellion against the BIP, but I can definitely see how it can work that way. You definitely have to mute your own aversions in order to place in the finals. When I was eating my sixth orange, a wave of nausea washed over me. I told myself, "Mmm, this orange is delicious" --- and lo, it was delicious.


from Illuminatus----




Two months thereafter, the stock market crashed and New York millionaires began leaping from high windows onto hard streets. Old Drake, the next day, ran into his son begging on the street near the Old Granary cemetery. The boy was wearing old clothes from a secondhand store.

"It's not that bad, son. We'll pull through."

"Oh, I know that. You'll come out ahead, in fact, if I'm any judge of character."

"Then what the hell is this disgraceful damned foolishness?"

"Experience. I'm breaking out of a trap."

The old man fumed all the way back to the bank. That evening he decided it was time for another open and honest discussion; when he went to Robert's room, however, he found the boy thoroughly trussed up in chains and quite purple in the face.

"God! Damn! Son! What is this?"

The boy— who was twenty-seven and, in some respects, more sophisticated than his father— grinned and relaxed.

The purple faded from his face. "One of Houdini's escapes," he explained simply.

"You intend to become a stage magician? My God!"

"Not at all. I'm breaking out of another trap— the one that says nobody but Houdini can do these things."

Old Drake, to do him justice, hadn't acquired his wealth without some shrewdness concerning human peculiarities. "I begin to see," he said heavily. "Pain is a trap. That was why you put the broken glass in your shoes that time. Fear of poverty is a trap. That's why you tried begging on the streets. You're trying to become a Superman, like those crazy boys in Chicago, the 'thrill killers.' What you did to that whore last year was part of all this. What else have you done?"

"A lot." Robert shrugged. "Enough to be canonized as a saint, or to be burnt as a diabolist. None of it seems to add up, though. I still haven't found the way." He suddenly made a new effort, and the chains slipped to the floor. "Simple yoga and muscle control," he said without pride. "The chains in the mind are much harder. I wish there were a chemical, a key to the nervous system . . ."
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Slurrealist on January 18, 2012, 09:54:31 pm
I think I will need to explain myself clearer.
What I meant was "I know that causing a lot of harm to your body is one of the ways to achieve transcendental states of consciousness, but this is fucking insane," but using the BIP metaphor, with the "achieve transcendental sates of consciousness" replaced to "get out from the one of the biggest BIPs", aka reality. (If you still don't understand, see the etymology of the word "trance"). Apparently, it didn't worked as I intended. It was some stupid sarcastic sentence, and I am perfectly aware that the orange eating contest is just a fun activity you do here sometimes, though the results of the last one aren't fun at all.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
About the fucking retard, I can say that that is an objectively supported statement, because the last time I took an IQ test, my score had been only 2. No kidding.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 18, 2012, 10:08:34 pm
I think I will need to explain myself clearer.
What I meant was "I know that causing a lot of harm to your body is one of the ways to achieve transcendental states of consciousness, but this is fucking insane," but using the BIP metaphor, with the "achieve transcendental sates of consciousness" replaced to "get out from the one of the biggest BIPs", aka reality. (If you still don't understand, see the etymology of the word "trance"). Apparently, it didn't worked as I intended. It was some stupid sarcastic sentence, and I am perfectly aware that the orange eating contest is just a fun activity you do here sometimes, though the results of the last one aren't fun at all.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
About the fucking retard, I can say that that is an objectively supported statement, because the last time I took an IQ test, my score had been only 2. No kidding.

Waitwaitwait

Who said the results of the last one weren't fun?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on January 18, 2012, 10:13:43 pm
I think I will need to explain myself clearer.
What I meant was "I know that causing a lot of harm to your body is one of the ways to achieve transcendental states of consciousness, but this is fucking insane," but using the BIP metaphor, with the "achieve transcendental sates of consciousness" replaced to "get out from the one of the biggest BIPs", aka reality. (If you still don't understand, see the etymology of the word "trance"). Apparently, it didn't worked as I intended. It was some stupid sarcastic sentence, and I am perfectly aware that the orange eating contest is just a fun activity you do here sometimes, though the results of the last one aren't fun at all.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
About the fucking retard, I can say that that is an objectively supported statement, because the last time I took an IQ test, my score had been only 2. No kidding.

Waitwaitwait

Who said the results of the last one weren't fun?

Yeah, FUCK YUO

I had 21 oranges INSIDE OF MY BODY ALL AT ONCE


didn't shit all day, didn't puke until 6 am the next morning


If that's not quality entertainment, then you're a masticated dick trapeze
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 18, 2012, 10:20:32 pm
I think I will need to explain myself clearer.
What I meant was "I know that causing a lot of harm to your body is one of the ways to achieve transcendental states of consciousness, but this is fucking insane," but using the BIP metaphor, with the "achieve transcendental sates of consciousness" replaced to "get out from the one of the biggest BIPs", aka reality. (If you still don't understand, see the etymology of the word "trance"). Apparently, it didn't worked as I intended. It was some stupid sarcastic sentence, and I am perfectly aware that the orange eating contest is just a fun activity you do here sometimes, though the results of the last one aren't fun at all.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
About the fucking retard, I can say that that is an objectively supported statement, because the last time I took an IQ test, my score had been only 2. No kidding.

Waitwaitwait

Who said the results of the last one weren't fun?

Yeah, FUCK YUO

I had 21 oranges INSIDE OF MY BODY ALL AT ONCE


didn't shit all day, didn't puke until 6 am the next morning


If that's not quality entertainment, then you're a masticated dick trapeze

PREACH IT, BROTHER

I WAS SHITTING LIGHT-YELLOW ORANGE PULP FOR A WEEK.

I know fun when I'm having it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 18, 2012, 10:51:52 pm
YOU WANT FUN? TRY HOSPITAL INTAKE FORUMS!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 18, 2012, 11:56:36 pm
YOU WANT FUN? TRY HOSPITAL INTAKE FORUMS!

BLEEDING FROM THE MOUTH-HOLE IS GOOD TIMES!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 19, 2012, 12:14:22 am
"Extreme Illness" is the 2012 extreme sport. You get sick in an awful, unpleasant way, for basically no reason at all.

other sports under this heading include RENAL MADNESS, the no-drink hangover, and all-night cram session benders in which you don't actually study

EXTREME SHITTING IS EXTREME FUN

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 19, 2012, 12:20:09 am
"Extreme Illness" is the 2012 extreme sport. You get sick in an awful, unpleasant way, for basically no reason at all.

other sports under this heading include RENAL MADNESS, the no-drink hangover, and all-night cram session benders in which you don't actually study

EXTREME SHITTING IS EXTREME FUN

I'm really looking forward to the Prolapse Games!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on January 19, 2012, 12:29:32 am
at Thanksgiving, I trash talk my brothers and uncles into entering this year's 500 METER HURL. As soon as the last one of the participants is done eating, IT IS ON. This event includes several laps around the house. Dirty tricks are played. Trampoline may be in play. This contest is awful.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: N E T on January 19, 2012, 01:21:44 am
I think I will need to explain myself clearer.
What I meant was "I know that causing a lot of harm to your body is one of the ways to achieve transcendental states of consciousness, but this is fucking insane," but using the BIP metaphor, with the "achieve transcendental sates of consciousness" replaced to "get out from the one of the biggest BIPs", aka reality. (If you still don't understand, see the etymology of the word "trance"). Apparently, it didn't worked as I intended. It was some stupid sarcastic sentence, and I am perfectly aware that the orange eating contest is just a fun activity you do here sometimes, though the results of the last one aren't fun at all.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
About the fucking retard, I can say that that is an objectively supported statement, because the last time I took an IQ test, my score had been only 2. No kidding.

Waitwaitwait

Who said the results of the last one weren't fun?

Yeah, FUCK YUO

I had 21 oranges INSIDE OF MY BODY ALL AT ONCE


didn't shit all day, didn't puke until 6 am the next morning


If that's not quality entertainment, then you're a masticated dick trapeze

:awesome:

Too busy to add much at the moment, but I'm awaiting a graphic photo of what I should have slowly excreted into the toilet over many days.

I'm still writing down how I've made sense of this painfully funny episode.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on January 19, 2012, 01:43:19 am
So what youre saying cram is that your insanity is genetic? :)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 19, 2012, 06:23:01 am
at Thanksgiving, I trash talk my brothers and uncles into entering this year's 500 METER HURL. As soon as the last one of the participants is done eating, IT IS ON. This event includes several laps around the house. Dirty tricks are played. Trampoline may be in play. This contest is awful.

That's HARDCORE.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 19, 2012, 06:23:25 am
I think I will need to explain myself clearer.
What I meant was "I know that causing a lot of harm to your body is one of the ways to achieve transcendental states of consciousness, but this is fucking insane," but using the BIP metaphor, with the "achieve transcendental sates of consciousness" replaced to "get out from the one of the biggest BIPs", aka reality. (If you still don't understand, see the etymology of the word "trance"). Apparently, it didn't worked as I intended. It was some stupid sarcastic sentence, and I am perfectly aware that the orange eating contest is just a fun activity you do here sometimes, though the results of the last one aren't fun at all.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
About the fucking retard, I can say that that is an objectively supported statement, because the last time I took an IQ test, my score had been only 2. No kidding.

Waitwaitwait

Who said the results of the last one weren't fun?

Yeah, FUCK YUO

I had 21 oranges INSIDE OF MY BODY ALL AT ONCE


didn't shit all day, didn't puke until 6 am the next morning


If that's not quality entertainment, then you're a masticated dick trapeze

:awesome:

Too busy to add much at the moment, but I'm awaiting a graphic photo of what I should have slowly excreted into the toilet over many days.

I'm still writing down how I've made sense of this painfully funny episode.

That's gonna be a must-read.  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on February 25, 2016, 01:44:22 am
I just reread this thread.  All of it.  Oh my god, I love all of you so much right now.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on February 25, 2016, 04:15:22 am
The good ol days
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 25, 2016, 10:09:36 pm
I haven't even finished the thread yet, but the gauntlet has been thrown down in DS2015. Saturday as Nigel grieves it shall be oranges or death!!




Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 25, 2016, 10:23:37 pm
Moar like oranges and death...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 25, 2016, 10:31:31 pm
Moar like oranges and death...

YES!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 25, 2016, 10:33:39 pm
Moar like oranges and death...

YES!

Are you going to orange yourself if Cram doesn't respond?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 25, 2016, 10:42:10 pm
Moar like oranges and death...

YES!

Are you going to orange yourself if Cram doesn't respond?

OH YEAH! I DON'T KNOW WHO THE REIGNING CHAMP IS, BUT ILL TRY TO TOP THE TOTAL FOR THE BELT.

IF CRAM CRAMS OUT ILL JUST TALK SHIT UNTIL HE HAS TO BLOCK ME FROM FUCKING FACEBOOK LIKE A LIMP CHODE!!


I was just going to sit a vigil, but this is better in every way.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 25, 2016, 10:43:34 pm
Moar like oranges and death...

YES!

Are you going to orange yourself if Cram doesn't respond?

OH YEAH! I DON'T KNOW WHO THE REIGNING CHAMP IS, BUT ILL TRY TO TOP THE TOTAL FOR THE BELT.

IF CRAM CRAMS OUT ILL JUST TALK SHIT UNTIL HE HAS TO BLOCK ME FROM FUCKING FACEBOOK LIKE A LIMP CHODE!!


I was just going to sit a vigil, but this is better in every way.

I believe the winner last time was hospitalized.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 25, 2016, 10:59:09 pm
Moar like oranges and death...

YES!

Are you going to orange yourself if Cram doesn't respond?

OH YEAH! I DON'T KNOW WHO THE REIGNING CHAMP IS, BUT ILL TRY TO TOP THE TOTAL FOR THE BELT.

IF CRAM CRAMS OUT ILL JUST TALK SHIT UNTIL HE HAS TO BLOCK ME FROM FUCKING FACEBOOK LIKE A LIMP CHODE!!


I was just going to sit a vigil, but this is better in every way.

I believe the winner last time was hospitalized.

I've been hospitalized for less worthy reasons, but I don't expect to need to. I have a strategy and a genuine cast-iron stomach from God Itsself.

Acid? I'm Italian. Citric acid and marinara are mother's milk, but I'll parachute crushed up tums if I need to!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 26, 2016, 06:33:39 am
Just finished the thread. I do believe that the all time title so happens to be Nigel because only 1 very suspect claim of 23, it so  happens, was made.  Nigel has it at 22 Navel oranges.

I will climb Orange Mountain
Alone if I must
Should you lot prove
Too fussy

I climb not for me
You see,
I do this in sympathy

My tongue shall blister
Oh YEAH!
My stomach grind acid
PIECE OF CAKE!!
My hollow guts twist
ALREADY THERE!!!
My colon grow stretched
SO BRING IT ON!!!!
My wretched eyes bleed
THERE WERE GOING TO BE TEARS ANYWAY!!!!! THERE WERE GOING TO BE TEARS ANYWAY!!!!!

BETTER TO GO FULL ORANGE THAN JUST FADE TO FUCKING GRAY!!!!!

Like some Cramulus' may.
IDK





Really though the crown of all time best is currently Nigel's. I don't know if I can get to the 23rd level of Orange Mountain, but if I do it is in honor of impossible suffering she must now be going through and the title remain hers. That I attempt at all is enough, but I'm pleased to see that to best Cramulus I'll need like 15 or so.

Man that dude knows how to talk some smack. I can see why Eris likes him.  :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cain on February 26, 2016, 07:01:38 pm
Say goodbye to your lower intestine
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 26, 2016, 09:55:26 pm
Say goodbye to your lower intestine

I will when my soul exits stage left.

BUT I'M NOT DEAD YET!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cain on February 26, 2016, 11:55:57 pm
Say goodbye to your lower intestine

I will when my soul exits stage left.

BUT I'M NOT DEAD YET!!

Your soul will no doubt exit your body alongside your bowels and a copious amount of blood.

Cain,
has seen this sort of thing before
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 27, 2016, 12:27:51 am
Say goodbye to your lower intestine

I will when my soul exits stage left.

BUT I'M NOT DEAD YET!!

Your soul will no doubt exit your body alongside your bowels and a copious amount of blood.

Cain,
has seen this sort of thing before

Well if you have sincere concern for me I appreciate it. I don't intend to fuck myself up and believe I have a workable gastric techne in mind. It's likely to ease the acid and fiberous factors but the trade-off will likely be... olfactory. If I see blood in either puke or feces I will stop. If it persists I'll go to a hospital.


BUT SUCH CONSIDERATIONS ARE NOT HOW A JOB BEGINS!! I WILL EAT ORANGES AMD SHIT SOLID GOLD THAT WILL WITHSTAND THE TEST OF ETERNITY!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 27, 2016, 04:15:24 am
Came to chill with some of my friends and told them what's going down, as it were. They believe in me and just so happened to have a very suspicious looking organic orange and gave it to me in approval. This one doesn't count. I begin my countdown at midnight Central time. About 2 hours from now. On my way home I shall pick up the oranges. On a scouting mission this morning I discovered that oranges, seedless navels, are on sale!  I brought some in to work and gave them away to my co-workers explaining that a friend had suffered a tragic death. They're well used to my oddities and some sincerely expressed their sympathies.

The oranges are reportedly nice and sweet.  Excellent. I brought 5 bags and they ate all of them. Circumstances are favorable for my task.


Supply acquired, and there's nobody in heaven and earth that can or will stop me.


THIS ONE IS JUST MY FIRST AS A WARM UP.

There will be pics as needed for proof.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 27, 2016, 12:31:19 pm
Well it's been a good night. I bought THREE WHOLE BAGS

THAT'S 36 BEAUTIFUL, SEEDLESS AND DELICIOUS INDIVIDUAL PIECES OF GLORY AND I'VE ALREADY CONSUMED 6!

THAT'S 6 MOTHERFUCKERS EATEN BY 2AM AND A HAVE 18 HRS TO GO!!! I'M ALREADY PASSING THEM SMOOTH AS FUCK!!! WHAT WAS ALL THIS FUSS ABOUT?! I'M GONNA EAT 6 MORE AND GET A FEW HOURS OF SLEEP!! THAT TOTAL WILL BE 12 BEFORE I COME BACK AFTER I WAKE UP!!!!!


The smell isn't so bad yet, but this is including what I had for supper before midnight. The 2 small containers of Oikos "triple zero" Greek yoghurt I had with them did the trick. I'll have to up the ante...


I THINK I'LL MAKE IT 8 MORE BEFORE I SNORE!!!!!!!!

That's going to be 14 before half the day passes.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Vanadium Gryllz on February 27, 2016, 01:56:57 pm
RIP in pieces
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Trivial on February 27, 2016, 04:18:22 pm
The vitamin C will  make up for it I'm sure.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 27, 2016, 04:29:10 pm
The first orange is away.

This is delicious, I regret nothing. Pics forthcoming once my phone charges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 27, 2016, 05:12:36 pm
(https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/v/t1.0-9/12800372_1323060784386195_8014671455257586834_n.jpg?oh=8242550e9ca08b2e56378939a2bb2842&oe=57507C59)

I am halfway orange #3 and it doesn't look like food anymore.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cain on February 27, 2016, 05:46:02 pm
It looks like unprocessed poop, and blood.

Which is a funny coincidence, because...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 27, 2016, 05:48:36 pm
It looks like unprocessed poop, and blood.

Which is a funny coincidence, because...

I am a poop and blood processor?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Junkenstein on February 27, 2016, 06:02:26 pm
In about 12-18 hours, depending on quantity and sleeping, yes.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on February 27, 2016, 07:17:48 pm
I really can't believe this is happening again.

Best reboot of Groundhog Day ever.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on February 27, 2016, 07:41:29 pm
I ate 18 sanguinello blood oranges. Apparently you need bigger oranges to induce intestinal distress. I have notoriously irritable bowels as well.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 27, 2016, 07:46:02 pm
I'm still on orange #5

I'm so hungry and full at the same time. Something smells bad and I don't know if it's me. There's still 12 left just in the first bag.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cain on February 27, 2016, 08:15:08 pm

I'm so hungry and full at the same time. Something smells bad and I don't know if it's me. There's still 12 left just in the first bag.

IT BEGINS
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 27, 2016, 08:25:15 pm
I had a vividly hallucinatory dream of Diogenes and his early "Dog Pack" discovering an orange grove. It was awesome and I'll make it a short story in Dustrael's narrative style.

but FIRST

8 MORE ORANGES ARE GOING DOWN TO TIE AT 22!

I'll have 8+ hours before midnight to put more away!

NONE SHALL AGAIN TOUCH NIGEL'S TITLE!!! NONE SHALL DARE!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 27, 2016, 08:27:11 pm
On a scientific note I feel fine! A bit bloated... I passed chunkily but acceptably. The smell was like hell ripped open in a breeze, but nothing I don't deal with professionally. It's time to push the envelope!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 27, 2016, 08:34:04 pm
I really can't believe this is happening again.

Best reboot of Groundhog Day ever.

Oh no! To get caught in a loop eating nothing but oranges and shittalking.. Sysiphius has it good by comparison!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 27, 2016, 09:18:58 pm
I was thinking "I WILL DEVOUR YOUR WHOLE SPECIES" whilst peeling number 20

AND IT SPAT RIGHT IN MY EYE!!  :fnord:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 27, 2016, 09:33:28 pm
7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 27, 2016, 09:49:49 pm
7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.

Then stop for a while and wash them hands asap. The chemical will just keep chewing on you otherwise.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 27, 2016, 09:55:26 pm
7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.

Then stop for a while and wash them hands asap. The chemical will just keep chewing on you otherwise.

I feel like you don't understand the point of oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 27, 2016, 10:05:41 pm
7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.

Then stop for a while and wash them hands asap. The chemical will just keep chewing on you otherwise.

I feel like you don't understand the point of oranges.

I do. I'm peeling with my bare hands and have not taken my own advice. But now nobody can say that the reasonable path was unknown.

IF WE CAN RULE OUT IDIOCY THEN WHAT'S LEFT TO EXPLAIN THE BEHAVIOUR!??

It must be something else. Something sinister and citrus.

Edit to add:
I've had 22,
And am sick
of the bastards

Like looking at the last 14 I have makes me heave a little. I will go on,  OH YES, but must rest.

Something is stirring within. The ORANGES know... oh they know.

(Mild hallucinations? Yay!)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 27, 2016, 10:11:38 pm
Does vodka count as other food?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 27, 2016, 10:14:01 pm
Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 27, 2016, 10:49:06 pm
Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

9 down

the goal of this is not to be comfortable.

(http://static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/If+i+see+that+nathan+faced+pikachu+quot+brutal+quot+meme+_d3fe034bf100e84e4a2be4222e860663.gif)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 27, 2016, 10:57:44 pm
Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

9 down

the goal of this is not to be comfortable.

(http://static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/If+i+see+that+nathan+faced+pikachu+quot+brutal+quot+meme+_d3fe034bf100e84e4a2be4222e860663.gif)

Well I better get eating again then!!

Still, don't be putting yourself in the hospital.

Tell ya what I'll forego the yogurts on my final run. I have about 7 hrs left until midnight and 14 oranges. I'll go the last bunch hardcore, you consider taking it easy on the booze and drinking a water chaser if you feel you absolutely.. must. Deal?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 27, 2016, 11:10:27 pm
Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

9 down

the goal of this is not to be comfortable.

(http://static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/If+i+see+that+nathan+faced+pikachu+quot+brutal+quot+meme+_d3fe034bf100e84e4a2be4222e860663.gif)

Well I better get eating again then!!

Still, don't be putting yourself in the hospital.

Tell ya what I'll forego the yogurts on my final run. I have about 7 hrs left until midnight and 14 oranges. I'll go the last bunch hardcore, you consider taking it easy on the booze and drinking a water chaser if you feel you absolutely.. must. Deal?

lol I don't think I'm heading to the hospital.

#10 is sitting there, taunting me.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 27, 2016, 11:22:37 pm
Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

9 down

the goal of this is not to be comfortable.

(http://static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/If+i+see+that+nathan+faced+pikachu+quot+brutal+quot+meme+_d3fe034bf100e84e4a2be4222e860663.gif)

Well I better get eating again then!!

Still, don't be putting yourself in the hospital.

Tell ya what I'll forego the yogurts on my final run. I have about 7 hrs left until midnight and 14 oranges. I'll go the last bunch hardcore, you consider taking it easy on the booze and drinking a water chaser if you feel you absolutely.. must. Deal?

lol I don't think I'm heading to the hospital.

#10 is sitting there, taunting me.

Destroy it!!

I'm going to switch over anyway,
fuck the whole GI system!!

I borrowed this pic and don't know how to embed it, but it's PERFECT.

Guess I should get peeling.

TIMES A WASTING!!!

OTHER THAN THE
HALLCINATIONS
AND GIDDYNESS
I FEEL FUCKING FINE,
MORE ORANGES!!!

-possible last words of T.W. Joseph  :evil:

Edit note: it's exactly 5:23 pm by my smartphone when I happened to post that.

SO BE IT!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cain on February 27, 2016, 11:44:38 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/XS9fLqn.png)

(http://i.imgur.com/hHb6i0J.png)

(http://i.imgur.com/gzmDCri.png)

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 27, 2016, 11:58:39 pm
There is pizza in the office now. I really want some.

GUESS I'LL HAVE ANOTHER ORANGE
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 28, 2016, 12:25:12 am
Caved and ate a slice of pizza. Next orange is penance.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 28, 2016, 12:47:00 am
Caved and ate a slice of pizza. Next orange is penance.

It is acceptable to stumble upon the path. With ORANGES persistence is redemption!

(http://i.imgur.com/XS9fLqn.png)

(http://i.imgur.com/hHb6i0J.png)

(http://i.imgur.com/gzmDCri.png)




CAIN THOSE MADE ME ALMOST FIRE HOT ACID UP MY NOSE!!! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 28, 2016, 01:35:30 am
I just ripped a series of farts and the cloying citrus in my sinuses is blending with it horrifically.

I can feel them in there
A PERSIAN ARMY TAKING IT'S TIME APPROACHING. I HAVE FIVE LEFT TO EAT AND GLADLY SEND THEM AS A REARGUARD TO THEIR DOOMED FELLOWS!!

My fingertips are numb and my nails throb. The taste in my mouth is bitter unless I'm actually eating an orange. Then for a few brief moments I get a bit of spiteful respite from the juicy sweetness that is my acidy doom!! It's short lived and the bitterness returns stronger.

5 to go.
Somehow.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 28, 2016, 02:04:54 am
The memory
of this bitter
victory
goes to NIGEL

In honor of her
terrible loss
let none say
that they know
The Struggle.

None do.



Hang in there Nigel!!
Your record now
stands at 32!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 28, 2016, 03:03:57 am
So I just took my first horrid shit and you wanna know what was weirder than the poo? It was clearly remembering from my dream the "Diogenes" figure taking a squat while a bunch of aristocratic folk were looking on in horror while ORANGE projectile poo spattered everywhere. The poo looked EXACTLY the same. The "original" The Aristocrats joke in a sense.

I don't have the guts to do a full write up of a story just now, but the framework I remember went something like Diogenes and company, being poor by choice, came upon an ORANGE GROVE not far outside of the city of Athens. These were wild ORANGES now, very unlike our tame-ass store bought modern oranges. They were at first overjoyed by the seemingly endless supply of hard to open but sweet and delicious fruit, but the ORANGES had other intentions, being almost perfect darwinian engines of genetic proliferation. But of course the Dog and his pack had no idea, and no concern in their joy at having SO MUCH FOOD!

It was probably Eris' personal ORANGE GROVE, but that's me speculating and expanding on the dream memory. I'm pretty sure I can piece a plot together. But now I'm about to go again.

Lab results pending... This one is going to hurt, I can tell. It's GAS! IT'S VERY UNPLEASANT!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 28, 2016, 04:43:02 am
You know, Net almost died from that shit, right?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Salty on February 28, 2016, 05:14:26 am
Nigel sez:
"WTF is wrong with you idiots? I love you stupid motherfuckers."

I say:
KEEP FUCKING EATING. Emotionally, I am tepid.*

















*Not true. I love you too.  Stop it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: East Coast Hustle on February 28, 2016, 05:53:55 am
Until somebody else eats 4 pounds of grapes in one day, I'm not even remotely impressed with any of this.

Oranges are so bush-league.

ECH,
Asswine > Poodriver
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 28, 2016, 10:49:36 am
You know, Net almost died from that shit, right?

I felt the very strong need to do something pointless and stupid. I didn't know how bad it had gotten for Net until after I'd committed myself. I wasn't too worried for me but I sure didn't take the task lightly. Oranges are horrible and I'm never doing this again.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 28, 2016, 10:51:11 am
Nigel sez:
"WTF is wrong with you idiots? I love you stupid motherfuckers."

I say:
KEEP FUCKING EATING. Emotionally, I am tepid.*

















*Not true. I love you too.  Stop it.

It's done. 32 down. Hugs and strength to you both!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 28, 2016, 10:53:16 am
Until somebody else eats 4 pounds of grapes in one day, I'm not even remotely impressed with any of this.

Oranges are so bush-league.

ECH,
Asswine > Poodriver

If that's a challenge... I'm good. Perhaps in a few months.  :)

Fruit is a helluva drug!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on February 28, 2016, 08:03:50 pm

I felt the very strong need to do something pointless and stupid.

Sure, we all do.  That's why we have feuds.  Anyways, you can always go alley-blasting, or picking up women in Sheboygan.  There's no need to shove a quart or so of citric acid into your digestive tract.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 28, 2016, 08:39:17 pm
I woke up feeling fantastic! First shit was.... interesting, but otherwise not feeling bad at all.

I think if there was more peer pressure I could have done better than an even dozen. Joe exceeded all expectations.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 28, 2016, 09:52:17 pm
I woke up feeling fantastic! First shit was.... interesting, but otherwise not feeling bad at all.

I think if there was more peer pressure I could have done better than an even dozen. Joe exceeded all expectations.

You beat me on "hardcore mode" oranges consumed. I got to ten and realized that heeding the signals of my wracked body would be a good idea if I didn't want a LOT of nasty clean-up on my.. uh everything.

"Winnar" of hardcore belt goes to Q.G should none object. I couldn't have pushed as hard without the company and taunting.  Fact!

I'm feeling better now, but found it best to skip the overtime shift I leveraged my boss to let me "volunteer" for. There will be plenty of THAT this next week.


I felt the very strong need to do something pointless and stupid.

Sure, we all do.  That's why we have feuds.  Anyways, you can always go alley-blasting, or picking up women in Sheboygan.  There's no need to shove a quart or so of citric acid into your digestive tract.

Yes, but in my defense, while acknowledging my position indefensible:

1 No orange-related STDs have as yet been identified by Science, easy 'Sconsin poon has. A lot.

2 I've lived a life of measured caution and reasonability for some time now and letting loose was very good for me. (Despite occasional digestive gas bubbles I too woke feeling great emotionally)

3 I had a series of visions and story seeds roll through my mind that simply wouldn't have occurred had I not. Plus getting my Wiz on symbolically all over corporeal reality without badly freaking out the normals was nice.

4 I wasn't aware of some of the details before I jumped up and challenged Cramulus. I'd made the decision to do it at about pg 10 when Cram posted a very cool looking meme collage he'd made about "the return of Eris" or some such and said he was Cramulus "I guess.." Thought I'd check his Jimmies, Eris practically demanded it, but I was already on it. Results indicate possibility of no Jimmies. Further testing seems redundant at this point.

5 When I'd completed the thread I realized that it was going to be hard and in no way pleasant, but it would be fun and well honor Nigel's pain, and I'd already thrown down the gauntlet. I devised a strategy, and it worked.

In a way it was worth every bit of the trouble, but I'm not inclined to ever eat an orange willingly again. I also won't complain or shy away by preference. In I way I consider the occasion as getting "patched in" to the Ontological Motorcycle gang of minds here. My neurons will now always notice oranges and so this has value because I can smile about how stupid it was and send One up in regards to Nigel's lost son.

I don't have any tats on my body but what God and Nature have left as scars and some very interesting birthmarks. If there is a soul I hope it's got one now, if not my neurons will remember until I do in fact stop living. Every orange a memento mori.

Attached pic contains the quote that cemented the decision. I don't mean to babble on. I just needed to clarify my motives to myself as much as you and the board sir.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on February 28, 2016, 11:45:47 pm
You're kind of an idiot for doing this, but your motivations in part were about honoring Nigel and her family, so I can't fault you for that. In fact, I'm moved. Well done.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Nast on February 29, 2016, 12:44:00 am
 :golfclap:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 29, 2016, 01:48:10 am
Better than deciding there was nothing I could do.  :)

 :thanks: :cheers:


Also kinda...  :magick: but that's probably just the residual effects of the oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 29, 2016, 01:55:59 am
You complete goddamn lunatics.

Alty has kept me updated on your willingness to deliberately do this terrible thing to yourselves.

I am a wreck, but you have made me smile and I love you.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on February 29, 2016, 02:51:51 am
what the fuck
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 29, 2016, 03:16:03 am
You complete goddamn lunatics.

Alty has kept me updated on your willingness to deliberately do this terrible thing to yourselves.

I am a wreck, but you have made me smile and I love you.

Mission accomplished then! All of the rest is just a bonus and they were mostly post-facto justifications. I had no clue how it would go, but it seemed right.  Totally batshit, but right! I admire your strength and will to do good in the world. I shall continue to hope for your strength to persevere and excel in your work and deal with the innumerable new stresses this will surely still bring.


Also... if I'm correct Choppaz & Sluggaz is the one sometimes known as Freeky.

She bumped the thread again... WHERE ANY OLD JOE MIGHT READ IT!!! Last time she did that Net wound up in the hospital. Totally irresponsible these Orcs! All bumping threads about ORANGES and everything then looking around like nothing happened.  :p
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on February 29, 2016, 04:39:36 am
I am indeed the one known as Freeky.

Pff.  Dis fread iz grayt an' you know it.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 29, 2016, 04:39:32 pm
I am indeed the one known as Freeky.

Pff.  Dis fread iz grayt an' you know it.

 :lulz: Certainly changed my life!  :)

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on March 03, 2016, 05:05:15 pm
I'm hungry.

Oh, look, there's oranges on my desk...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on March 03, 2016, 10:28:15 pm
The orange tree in the common area behind my place is flowering.

SOON.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on March 03, 2016, 10:28:58 pm
I am indeed the one known as Freeky.

Pff.  Dis fread iz grayt an' you know it.

 :lulz: Certainly changed my life!  :)

Dat's how yer knowz it's graet!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on March 04, 2016, 02:37:13 pm
I'm hungry.

Oh, look, there's oranges on my desk...

The orange tree in the common area behind my place is flowering.

SOON.

 I'll just leave this here for consideration. (https://www.google.com/search?site=&source=hp&ei=u5jZVvrxNIGv-AH6-bpg&q=Orange+eating+world+record&oq=Orange+eating+world+record&gs_l=mobile-gws-hp.12..0j0i22i30.33882.43468.0.45889.20.20.0.1.1.0.383.4113.0j12j7j1.20.0....0...1.1.64.mobile-gws-hp..1.19.3695.3.XLIzrgfeVPg)
It's interesting for its lack of meaningful search return and the general emphasis on a time record rather than total in a day.


After I read your posts I ate one of my 4 remaining ORANGES and felt a little repulsed, but also an immediate and STRONG associative state touched the fringes of my awareness that I managed to anchor myself into. I got high and altered again purely by will and sensory association.

I can make this a permanent trigger through repetition. I've done it already with a simple finger rubbing gesture that I ALWAYS did when walking out of the racine YMCA after heavy cardio and a sauna while my brain was brimming with endorphins. It took about 2 years to build, but I can consciously elevate my mood and it brings a reflexive and wide smile, not GRIN, to my face even now.

The ORANGES, if I layer on enough repetition, would produce a very similar trigger with a very different effect. I went to bed after slowly eating an orange and making myself consciously re-associate the already strong, though subtle, psychedelic effect of the ordeal. I remember dreaming, but not the content.

More research may be worthwhile, but it means many more ORANGES and I have very strong mixed feelings about that.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Junkenstein on March 04, 2016, 03:52:39 pm
Research you say?

http://www.livestrong.com/article/454646-the-effects-of-eating-too-many-oranges/

The comments section is woefully understated. These people have no idea.

https://recordsetter.com/search?q=oranges

Again, tragically lacking.

https://recordsetter.com/world-record/eat-three-pounds-california-mandarin-oranges/28526?autoplay=true

I am unsure of this in relation to quantities consumed in thread.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on March 05, 2016, 02:00:14 am
Research you say?

http://www.livestrong.com/article/454646-the-effects-of-eating-too-many-oranges/

The comments section is woefully understated. These people have no idea.

https://recordsetter.com/search?q=oranges

Again, tragically lacking.

https://recordsetter.com/world-record/eat-three-pounds-california-mandarin-oranges/28526?autoplay=true

I am unsure of this in relation to quantities consumed in thread.

Yeah I saw a lot of that in my brief search and just finished going through the links.

The world really has no idea.  :eek:

The kid eating those tiny, thin skinned mandarins is impressive, but he can hurl after. Not even playing the same game at all.

The warnings in one of the others were almost all "fluff" and clealy a sign of reasoning and not ACTUALLY EATING oranges. Comments were likewise woefully sans any real orange-gnosis.

I do believe that this "tradition" is unique to PD. I also suspect that the alkaline chemical make up of the rind and pulpy bits might just contain psychoactive compounds. It wasn't just the pain or juice content that altered my consciousness. I've had a LOT of OJ and been through far more agony and nothing compared. Nigel reported having nightmares when she set that first record. Cainad woke up to puke, another indicator of toxicity if not psychoactivity. I suspect Net's mistake may have been those "4 lokos" he washed things down with and otherwise going "hardcore" from the sound of it.


I'm sincerely curios now. Seems odd indeed that this appears to be a new frontier. More testing, I think.  But I'm not really enthused about eating for a record again... ever again.  :|
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 05, 2016, 05:13:48 am
Weirdly, despite several days of sweating orange smell and shitting orange pulp back in whatever year I did my last competition, I have regained the ability to enjoy oranges. I have no long-lasting aversive conditioning at all.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on March 07, 2016, 04:30:10 am
I've eaten them here and there since. I polished off the last from what I picked up yesterday. The taste was fine in that it was sweet and the orange flavor was not unappealing. The process of chewing them down and is where I get a bit of a sense of repulsion. It's not strong, but it's noticeable. The urge to play with them while eating and peeling came back and I went with it. Made some cool pics!

I'm going to REALLY test the attachment feature here.

Consider these all Kopyleft. Attribution unnecessary.

I've got one more I'm symbolically pretty proud of I'm going to share in a separate post below. That one's mine, attribution to T.W.Joseph appreciated.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on March 07, 2016, 04:44:14 am
Ok. Seems that they all wound up upside down... ah well.  :lol:

Here's my fave. Pic is also titled and self explanatory.

Cram's claim that this may be a symbol of freewill dovetails with classical symbolism. Oranges are symbols of freewill, but finding out WHY exactly this is so I have yet to figure out... at least in context of credible history. I have a lot more digging to do though.

http://www.historyofpainters.com/fruit.htm (http://www.historyofpainters.com/fruit.htm)

In search of more symbolic understanding I found this:

http://escholarship.org/uc/item/7m2552wm (http://escholarship.org/uc/item/7m2552wm)

Haven't even really bitten into it, but just a taste told me it could be most insightful and I took a free PDF copy to go over when I can.

I'm adding one other pic from a screen cap about oranges in Chinese symbolism... pretty strong similarities.....
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 08, 2016, 06:25:06 pm
Fruit flowers!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 08, 2016, 06:26:31 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR1yB0EvAt8
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on March 29, 2016, 05:21:25 pm
I'm sorry I missed this.

But also, you fucks have completely ruined oranges for me, so fuck you. Even smelling an orange gives me this pavlovian response: nausea, disgust... loathing. They're horrible. Like planets of acid, floating in an infinite void of ... bullshit ... fuck you
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on March 29, 2016, 06:56:39 pm
I'm sorry I missed this.

But also, you fucks have completely ruined oranges for me, so fuck you. Even smelling an orange gives me this pavlovian response: nausea, disgust... loathing. They're horrible. Like planets of acid, floating in an infinite void of ... bullshit ... fuck you

I've got a sack of oranges for ya right here, buddy.

(not even kidding.)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on March 29, 2016, 09:12:07 pm
I swear to god, a coworker just stopped by my desk with a plate of orange slices and said "Here, help yourself" and I reflexively made a snarly noise. Is she reading this forum or something? what the fuck
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on March 30, 2016, 10:15:21 pm
I swear to god, a coworker just stopped by my desk with a plate of orange slices and said "Here, help yourself" and I reflexively made a snarly noise. Is she reading this forum or something? what the fuck

I put Platonic oranges in your fractal matrix. I'm not apologizing.  :)

Also very glad to see you've returned sir!


(Edit to specify type of oranges and add heartfelt pleasantry)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on April 03, 2016, 01:06:22 am
I'm sorry I missed this.

But also, you fucks have completely ruined oranges for me, so fuck you. Even smelling an orange gives me this pavlovian response: nausea, disgust... loathing. They're horrible. Like planets of acid, floating in an infinite void of ... bullshit ... fuck you

Best results ever.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on September 27, 2016, 10:36:02 am
THE ORANGES ARE NOT FRIENDS

So on Fri, 23 Sept 2016 at around 9ish in the evening I sat myself down with 16 beautiful, hand-selected navel oranges purchased earlier in the day with the intent of getting a stronger sense of the possible psychoactive effects of the pulp and to see how far I might comfortably go eating them "hardcore" fashion. My intent was the satisfaction of my curiosity and to test myself. I got more than my money's worth of both by far. I'm relaying this tale as a WARNING coming from the very most sincere concern for folk's safety and well being. Eating ORANGES is potentially very hazardous, at least as much so as any physical sport or cultural ordeal might be, and then some extra hazardous points for seeming so completely benign to the uninformed. How you approach them is everything. Done with gravity, forethought, preparation, discipline, and caution I ate 32 in a well-planned day where my heart's primary intent was to honor the loss and pain of another. It only took 12,  eaten carelessly, wolfishly, with blithe demeanor, and foolishly casual distain for possible risk, to lay me out fucking nasty and leave me there cold, on "their turf". It WAS their turf too. My bad for stepping heavy.

It would be wrong to say that I was repulsed by the flavor or scent as I set to at what I thought a fairly moderate pace, but they awoke in me, before I'd finished with barehand peeling and eating the first one, a sense of apprehension. It was not unlike seeing someone you despise, or maybe even outright fear, suddenly at your door smiling not unpleasantly. Even as I try to write this all out, nearly three days after the fact, the sense of PRESENCE I felt seems bizarre. It wasn't like the presence of a person or "entity" so much as a... consequential moment of consciousness, perhaps. Part of ME, the part that "I should have listened to" you could rightly say, was instinctively taking this as seriously as a deadly precipice or combative encounter. I was AFRAID of the ORANGES on something like a Pavlovian level, but it wasn't just some dumb phobic reflex. Turns out it was in fact an exceptionally intelligent phobic reflex, and I was the dumb one. Scientific fact.

My cognitive process was such that I noted and ignored the premonition out of hand. It was just a freaking orange, sweet and effin' juicy, and just the first in a long line to come that evening. Nothing was actually dangerous here even if I eventually ate all 16 right? Had I not proven my capacity already? Did I not wish to better understand, and perhaps even re-visit, the mysterious visionary ecstasy and unmistakable euphoric effects I experienced last time or perhaps at least rule out chemistry as cause? Surely I just needed to try my theory that the rind was the carrier of the suspected psychoactive compounds. Eating a notably smaller number without all of the, then seemingly excessive, process safeguards I'd worked out for the last time seemed like the way to go. I'd just peel and eat them without being quite so meticulous about removing all of the soft inner rind that inevitably clings to the outside of the sections. This rather small amount of extra rind, perhaps an extra couple of grams total from the 12 fruits I ate, and the sections themselves got an extra thorough, horribly bitter, chewing to unlock the chemical properties and to help physically pass what was pretty much otherwise all highly liquid retentive fiber with a fair load of sugar, water, metabolism effective vitamins, and acid. Did I mention I'd skipped dinner?

Things proceeded quite smoothly from there at first. I wasn't being at all hurried or trying to compete in any sense. There was no jackassery or bombast. My roommates were all out working or asleep and unaware of my evening's choice of activity. It just didn't seem like something worth mentioning as a simple off-the-cuff experiment in eating a fucking fruit. Truth is all there was to see from about 9pm until I crashed out a bit after 2am was a guy sitting in a room half-heartedly watching TV with what was surely a pained look of grim and contemplative disgust growing on his face as he chews down a small pile of oranges at a very slow and steady pace. The all-pervasive bitter flavor I experienced near the end of the previous experience had returned with a vengeance around 8 or 9 in and the urge to keep eating more of them to temporarily alleviate the bitter flavor, despite an almost spiritual revulsion at the thought, was the first real moment when I remembered what horrible little fuckers they are at all times, though we may think otherwise in ignorance or foolishly forget. I ate a few more in a strangely spiteful but casual mood, got to 12, called it good, got some milk in for the mild burn, and went to bed. No serious effects were in evidence, psychedelic, toxic, or otherwise.

I woke up reflexively around 3:30am with a quote from a biblical scene in my head. I looked it up to write this, turns out it was in Revelation 10:10. There's this bit where John is handed a "little scroll" by an angel and is told to eat it and that "It will be sweet as honey in your mouth, but it will turn your stomach bitter". I had a distinctly unworldly feeling as the quote was audible enough to have seemingly shocked me awake, but I seemed otherwise fine. I was a little hungry so I got me a bowl of cereal and sat down in the living room to eat. I won't go through detailing the thoughts that were in my head as I sat eating, or after. I have poor retention of the details and what little I do have on file is mostly in the "going to my grave with me" category. My mental state was unmistakably, though subtly, altered. We'll leave it at that for the purposes of this story because none of it was worth the price or even all that impressive as phenomena. I finished my cereal as my mind absorbed the apparent success of my experiment and was about to head back to bed intending to root around in the new "headspace" and see if the uptake was still increasing, which of course it sure as hell was. Lucky me.

I was passing through the kitchen to my room at about 30 min total time after waking when I felt myself suddenly begin to salivate extremely heavily without hunger or food stimulus, the clearest sign of oncoming emergency vomiting.  It was the only warning my body gave me before THE ORANGES took their toll for my trespass. I had definitely lost all of the milk and cereal after about my third go of wretching, and I dimly recall passing my previous day's lunch without too much trouble around this time, but no sign of the fucking oranges either way. They had already begun their southern march apparently. It made some sense. If they were metabolizing in my upper GI and I only then experienced such intense nausea clearly my toxic reaction hypothesis for Cainad and Net's unfortunate experiences was also proving valid. I figured that since I felt ok (but by no means good!) after clearing the cereal I'd probably be just fine by morning. Wrong again Joe. THE ORANGES had just oodles of truly heinous plans for my day.

I think it was about 6:30 or 7am when I opened my eyes from the brief nap I had intended as sleep. I was fucking SWEATING and experiencing "chills" I now believe to have been mild toxic tremors in hindsight as I never presented any fever, but neither symptom was all that severe as yet. I was also in fairly painful abdominal distress I took for gas or something. Remember I believed myself to have been in control of the situation from the beginning still at this point. I was still quite noticibly altered as well, though this was merely incoherent and irritating background noise as I took stock of my status and went out to sit with my friends, smoke a bit of weed for my nerves and stomach, and let them know what was up. Within the few minutes it took to sit down, smoke some, and drink about half a glass of water I was in real abdominal agony and not long after the pain set in I lost the water with extreme prejudice, but managed not to make a mess.

It was at this point that I realized something was very wrong in an unanticipated way or several, and that I was in for MUCH more than I had bargained for. I'm not the sort to panic, even when maybe I should, but let me tell you I was shook hard by the realization that I was having a full on toxic reaction, and as the symptoms first presented I STILL wasn't thinking it was just the oranges because it was so severe. At first I thought maybe I'd gotten a nasty stomach bacteria from having forgotten to wash the oranges before I ate them or some other random fluke, but the timing was all wrong. Onset was too fast for a common bacterial toxin unless I'd had it with lunch the previous day, and that would have very likely showed other flu like symptoms and nausea long before I ate the oranges.

When I was probably into the double digits on trips to vomit from trying to get water down and hadn't seen any trace of blood in my issue whatsoever I finally understood what was happening. THE ORANGES' fiberous mass had caused an upper GI obstruction just below my pyloric sphincter, right under the stomach, and they were continually releasing large amounts of all those chemicals I was just SO interested in. The good news was this meant I was in no real danger and didn't need a hospital visit immediately. The bad news was I could be sure that I would suffer horrible pain and incapacitating nausea, plus toxic side effects mental and physical, until said mass of pulpy hell was dislodged. I helped this process along with direct thermal therapy, hydration through incremental oral absorbing (if the sweating dehydrated me enough no amount of external manipulation and heat would save me), and stretching my left side, and thank God for having a smokable pain reliever-nausea inhibitor handy. If a full day of the treatment didn't clear it I'd have gone to the hospital, but I was feeling 95% within 24 hellish hours of eating a mere 12 oranges TOTAL in a little under six hours.

TWELVE FUCKING ORANGES tormented me physically and in various senses annoyed me mentally for a whole damn day. That was what I got for thinking I could just roll on up to 'em and squeeze them for their secrets like so much juice. I got my ass handed to me by a bunch of brainless, toothless, immobile, iddy bitty little softies with acid for blood and alkaline flesh as bitter as the struggle for survival itself. THE FUCKING ORANGES can have their spot. That's not me feigning permissive authority in the matter. It's a statement of the facts. That is THEIR patch over there and they are damn well fit to keep it. If I ever go back that way do be sure to check the weather, because it'll be snowing in hell!!!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on September 27, 2016, 05:54:24 pm
We are the worst kind of masochists.

Glad you didn't need the hospital trip.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: SuuCal on September 28, 2016, 03:08:11 am
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS?

Edit: Okay, so I read why, BUT STILL, DUDE. YOU'VE READ THE HORRORS!

-Suu
Just felt her asshole pucker all over again.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on September 28, 2016, 07:57:03 pm
Was trying to post this yesterday when my Internet access went temporarily kaput.

We are the worst kind of masochists.

Glad you didn't need the hospital trip.

Me too. It would have been so awkward to be sitting there looking like a big, dumb galoot what 'et too many oranges on a craving while trying to avoid an unnecessary string of tests I don't require for diagnosis and can't really afford anyway. Then they'd probably have intravenously hydrated me for a bit and sent me home to suffer it out anyway with nothing for my time and debt but a stack of papers and cool sticker, which I'd have to steal at my age.

Thing is I'm well aware that most folks simply know practically nothing about their body's mechanics or other vital info I happened to understand going in and can use under high stress. Someone who was totally unprepared for it could be subject to some EXTREMELY severe discomfort or even real, lasting injury, but unless they're entirely helpless, truly deranged, or already suffering a life threatening illness its not a potentially deadly deed. Problem is any old sucker might try it if exposed to the idea and a bit of provocative shit-talk because it seems so harmless at first glance, and THAT could actually get fools dead.

It's an eating sport that would require strict regulations on par with a full-contact combative sport to do safely. That before even considering any wildly outlandish rumors of... pharmacological hazards.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on September 28, 2016, 08:22:01 pm
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS?

Edit: Okay, so I read why, BUT STILL, DUDE. YOU'VE READ THE HORRORS!

-Suu
Just felt her asshole pucker all over again.

I'm very slowly rebounding from a black depression that's brought me too close to a very different precipice these last couple months and getting myself all hopped up on ORANGES..... was appealing.  :p

Puns aside, I REALLY underestimated the fuckers by more than I even figured possible. Here's the fucked up part: Even in the worst of the agony I felt a certain thrill. It wasn't masochism. The pain was a massive distraction from the good feeling I had, in fact. I don't think it was a product of the bitter ass chemistry at play either, nor the "rush" of an altered state. I can do more with less and no side effects in meditation if I so choose, not my first rodeo as they say.

I think it was the unexpected challenge I brought on myself and the sense that even though I'd brought it on myself it was also mine alone to overcome. Again I only told the most technical parts of the experience for the reason stated, but the rest of that story feels like it helped me seal the shit these last couple months behind me.

I soppose I could say I was tossed and laid out for trespass, but they deposited me on the far side of their turf, where I was headed. They are now between me and what I left behind. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's the feeling.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 08, 2016, 04:19:54 pm
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS?

Edit: Okay, so I read why, BUT STILL, DUDE. YOU'VE READ THE HORRORS!

-Suu
Just felt her asshole pucker all over again.

I'm very slowly rebounding from a black depression that's brought me too close to a very different precipice these last couple months and getting myself all hopped up on ORANGES..... was appealing.  :p

Puns aside, I REALLY underestimated the fuckers by more than I even figured possible. Here's the fucked up part: Even in the worst of the agony I felt a certain thrill. It wasn't masochism. The pain was a massive distraction from the good feeling I had, in fact. I don't think it was a product of the bitter ass chemistry at play either, nor the "rush" of an altered state. I can do more with less and no side effects in meditation if I so choose, not my first rodeo as they say.

I think it was the unexpected challenge I brought on myself and the sense that even though I'd brought it on myself it was also mine alone to overcome. Again I only told the most technical parts of the experience for the reason stated, but the rest of that story feels like it helped me seal the shit these last couple months behind me.

I soppose I could say I was tossed and laid out for trespass, but they deposited me on the far side of their turf, where I was headed. They are now between me and what I left behind. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's the feeling.

What you felt, son, was the thrill of being an ATHLETE. Of pushing your body to its limits. Being a competitive orange-eater isn't just about an event, it's about a mindset and a lifestyle. It's about a way of being. It's about being WILLING to eat orange after orange, even when the body and everyone around you says no. It's about KNOWING that you might shit yourself or vomit blood. It's about SMELLING the orange sweat for days afterward.

When you're an orange-eating competitor, you are more than just an athlete. You are AN HERO.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on October 08, 2016, 05:14:47 pm
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS?

Edit: Okay, so I read why, BUT STILL, DUDE. YOU'VE READ THE HORRORS!

-Suu
Just felt her asshole pucker all over again.

I'm very slowly rebounding from a black depression that's brought me too close to a very different precipice these last couple months and getting myself all hopped up on ORANGES..... was appealing.  :p

Puns aside, I REALLY underestimated the fuckers by more than I even figured possible. Here's the fucked up part: Even in the worst of the agony I felt a certain thrill. It wasn't masochism. The pain was a massive distraction from the good feeling I had, in fact. I don't think it was a product of the bitter ass chemistry at play either, nor the "rush" of an altered state. I can do more with less and no side effects in meditation if I so choose, not my first rodeo as they say.

I think it was the unexpected challenge I brought on myself and the sense that even though I'd brought it on myself it was also mine alone to overcome. Again I only told the most technical parts of the experience for the reason stated, but the rest of that story feels like it helped me seal the shit these last couple months behind me.

I soppose I could say I was tossed and laid out for trespass, but they deposited me on the far side of their turf, where I was headed. They are now between me and what I left behind. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's the feeling.

What you felt, son, was the thrill of being an ATHLETE. Of pushing your body to its limits. Being a competitive orange-eater isn't just about an event, it's about a mindset and a lifestyle. It's about a way of being. It's about being WILLING to eat orange after orange, even when the body and everyone around you says no. It's about KNOWING that you might shit yourself or vomit blood. It's about SMELLING the orange sweat for days afterward.

When you're an orange-eating competitor, you are more than just an athlete. You are AN HERO.

I swear the fuck to Christ two things

1. I heard goddamn majestic trumpets in my head as I started reading that, and they weren't just for me. They were for THE FUTURE of the many.

2. When you wrote AN HERO my brain translated it to something like not quite a British accent saying something like "an errow" in a winky sort of way like you might say horrible as "'orrible". As in an historic or an honorable... but. . You.. know that...
Anyway what I'm saying is that that particular pronunciation should be the "inside" version, methinks.


You know what I would rather do than eat ORANGES again? Almost literally anything else, including unmentionable things I might NEVER consider preferable except by comparison TO ORANGES. I have eaten exactly one since last time just to see if I could, and I did. My body no longer seems to instinctively consider them food, but recognized the sugar and vitamins enough to get going... "if that's how it's going to be then". Just one. It felt like I'd left a little reminder of myself behind after, a memento for them of my gratitude for their kind treatment on my way through.

Funny story, true story. Things got awfully anthropomorphic up in this head here. Didn't place the accent and THAT seemed a neat effect, novel linguistic permutations are rather rare. Usually it's a more recognizable set of stuff that the mind builds imagery from. Not quite on par with shouting in a truly foreign language, but hey.

When I was peeling the one since I happened to notice that the sticker said Product of South Africa and it clicked. That was the accent.

The ORANGES will see me again. I'll be more respectably prepared next time.

( :horrormirth: "WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING??" That's the part of me that's not on board, loosely translated from the neural signals of the parts of me that have to actual EAT them, but they don't actually have a vote.)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on October 11, 2016, 11:48:46 pm
This thread is the best thing to ever happen to the internet. 
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Vanadium Gryllz on December 05, 2016, 07:01:09 pm
I hear their siren song...
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on December 05, 2016, 07:27:43 pm
I hear their siren song...

This became my unofficial theme song for the last competition. I hadn't seen this video until now and it made me give even MORE association.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_mSmOcmk7uQ (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_mSmOcmk7uQ)
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on December 05, 2016, 07:58:57 pm
I hear their siren song...

Oh, dude.  The trees in my backyard are full of ORANGES.  They'll be ripe in the next few days.

I CHALLENGE THEE!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on December 05, 2016, 07:59:34 pm
However, it'll have to wait until after Wednesday, beacuse my laptop is getting fixed that day.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on December 05, 2016, 08:53:15 pm
I am here for this.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Vanadium Gryllz on December 05, 2016, 09:22:33 pm
Uhh i'm gonna have to buy more oranges because those got turned into orange vodka.

And I don't know how I feel about turning my insides into outsides in the near future.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Sung Low on December 05, 2016, 09:38:22 pm
yOU MIGHT dIE!!!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Junkenstein on December 05, 2016, 11:29:29 pm
This thread is now 68 pages of people not learning a damn thing. And I love you all for it.

May the gods have mercy on your bowels for citrus surely will not.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on December 05, 2016, 11:33:59 pm
Uhh i'm gonna have to buy more oranges because those got turned into orange vodka.

And I don't know how I feel about turning my insides into outsides in the near future.

Can you get it done by Thursday? Thursday is shrink day and I can't think of a better day to do something hornet-fucking stupid.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2016, 12:13:00 am
This thread is now 68 pages of people not learning a damn thing. And I love you all for it.

May the gods have mercy on your bowels for citrus surely will not.

Only the first two were any fun.

The 3rd one was just a bunch of people quietly damaging themselves with fruit.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on December 06, 2016, 01:02:13 am
It was a very somber occasion.  :|
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: LMNO on December 06, 2016, 12:52:37 pm
The Catholics have the flagellum.

Muslims have Ashura.

Discordians have fucking oranges.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on December 06, 2016, 01:48:36 pm
I refuse to participate on account of being ROBBED of my victory by time zones. I was robbed by TIME ITSELF.

But if y'all are gonna be fucking retards all over again then we'd best see some goddamn oldschool TRASH TALK.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on December 06, 2016, 02:34:13 pm
THAT'S HOW IT STARTS!! I'd say BRING IT, but I really can't even right now. I'm not kidding. The thought of getting COMPETITIVE GOT BEATEN OUT OF ME BY A  POSSE ORANGATUS...
...That's a word now and it's YOUR FAULT Cainad!


MY DIGESTIVE TRACT IS LIKE THE TERRAIN IN "FURY ROAD" AND JUST KICKED ME IN THE NUTS FOR THINKING ABOUT IT!


The Catholics have the flagellum.

Muslims have Ashura.

Discordians have fucking oranges.


I'd like to note that thing Buddhist monks do where they mummify themselves to death, but without pussing out by meditating the agony away.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 06, 2016, 04:00:21 pm
ATHLETES:


PREPARE


YOUR


SPHINCTERS!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on December 06, 2016, 05:52:24 pm
fuck all of you


no...


FUCK ALL OF YOU


no.... NO



FUCK YOU ALL
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 06, 2016, 05:57:51 pm
decades of ranting, and what we'll be known for is the occasional jackass showing up at the ER with his ass leaking like a Russian crown prince.   :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on December 06, 2016, 06:21:16 pm
ATHLETES:


PREPARE


YOUR


SPHINCTERS!

This looks really neat on my screen. Because of the size difference they all start off even paced and then break up after the first repetition and appear to be in an actual race.

Edit to add "Athletes" appears to be winning!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on December 06, 2016, 06:28:00 pm
decades of ranting, and what we'll be known for is the occasional jackass showing up at the ER with his ass leaking like a Russian crown prince.   :lulz:

 :lulz:
You know... It's better than "religion that cuts penises", "religion that sells you a heavenly timeshare", "religion that has REGULAR and formal prayer but not much else".

Discordia: religion that sent all those fools in for a GI scope and flush.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Vanadium Gryllz on December 06, 2016, 08:49:50 pm
ONE
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Vanadium Gryllz on December 06, 2016, 08:53:18 pm
OK i'm done.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on December 06, 2016, 08:57:06 pm
 :lulz:

Hey no jumping the gun!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on December 07, 2016, 04:28:54 am
A friend irl may join us.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 07, 2016, 05:41:22 am
fuck all of you


no...


FUCK ALL OF YOU


no.... NO



FUCK YOU ALL

No need...
















...the oranges will do that for you.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 07, 2016, 05:41:54 am
ONE


OK i'm done.

 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Cramulus on December 08, 2016, 02:12:48 pm
:argh!:  I had assumed that the fruit trucks outside of my building would have whole oranges. They only have diced oranges for fruit salad. This city is full of barbarians. 
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 08, 2016, 06:49:28 pm
:argh!:  I had assumed that the fruit trucks outside of my building would have whole oranges. They only have diced oranges for fruit salad. This city is full of barbarians.

Those bastards.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on December 10, 2016, 12:15:21 am
I'm prepared.  My guts are not. 

I'm down for tomorrow, since that's the only full day I'll have of internets.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on December 10, 2016, 06:45:30 pm
I JUST ATE 2 ORANGES FOR NO DAMN REASON.  FUCK

SUCK IT, WEENIES.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on December 10, 2016, 07:37:50 pm
2 MORE WHOOOOOO

BE INSPIRED BY MY GREATNESS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on December 10, 2016, 08:12:17 pm
jUST DOWNED NO. 6.  Some people might say, Gee, you're being awfully passive and not funny at all!

BUT WHO'S EATING THE GODDAMN ORANGES? NOT THOSE FUCKS!  THEY'RE THE ONES SITTING AROUND BITCHING LIKE A PILE OF LAMB.  THAT'S RIGHT, BUTCHERED MEAT, NOT PLURAL ANIMALS.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on December 10, 2016, 08:33:23 pm
SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK!!!!!

Freeky what have YOU DONE??!!!

I have no oranges. I want no oranges. I weep to see you run out into THEIR COUNTRY all alone.

Shit I can do about it now. I was planning on trying to write the "Diogenes" story tonight... try to survive. Try.

I WASH MY HANDS AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DO IT TOO!
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on December 10, 2016, 08:50:17 pm
BWAHAHAHA!  i HAVE EATEN MY 7TH ORANGE, AND IT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUS.

JOSEPH, YOUR PREVIOUS FORAYS INTO ORANGE COUNTRY HAVE EARNED MY RESPECT, SO YOU, PERHAPS, DO NOT HAVE TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.



I am going to take a short break and devour some meat.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on December 10, 2016, 09:36:57 pm
BWAHAHAHA!  i HAVE EATEN MY 7TH ORANGE, AND IT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUS.

JOSEPH, YOUR PREVIOUS FORAYS INTO ORANGE COUNTRY HAVE EARNED MY RESPECT, SO YOU, PERHAPS, DO NOT HAVE TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.



I am going to take a short break and devour some meat.

*wheels out on FDR style wheelchair, complex colostomy apparatus in tow*

I haven't been able to shove ANYTHING up my ass since the time I tried going solo!!

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on December 10, 2016, 10:17:47 pm
 :lulz:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on December 10, 2016, 10:48:03 pm
These must be valencias, because the more I eat of them, the hungrier I get.  Starting my 9th now.

I mean EAT DICKS.  BETTER YET, EAT ORANGES.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on December 11, 2016, 12:48:32 am
Final count:  9.  So if they're valencias, 6.  I can't chew anything anymore, it hurts.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on December 11, 2016, 03:05:18 am
It's PHYSICALLY hard to keep going after about that number.. Good run Freeky! Hopefully your innards will fare better than you jaw muscles.

Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on February 11, 2017, 11:07:30 pm
Don'the start this shit again. Mine was blood oranges and whoops they are in season again
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 13, 2017, 03:46:51 pm
Don'the start this shit again. Mine was blood oranges and whoops they are in season again

I had a blood orange a couple of days ago just to see if there was any experiential  difference when I happened to see them on sale.

There was not.  :|
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 13, 2017, 05:18:20 pm
Don'the start this shit again. Mine was blood oranges and whoops they are in season again

I had a blood orange a couple of days ago just to see if there was any experiential  difference when I happened to see them on sale.

There was not.  :|

They are slightly less acidic on average. I find this makes them less tasty, not more.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 13, 2017, 05:38:32 pm
Don'the start this shit again. Mine was blood oranges and whoops they are in season again

I had a blood orange a couple of days ago just to see if there was any experiential  difference when I happened to see them on sale.

There was not.  :|

They are slightly less acidic on average. I find this makes them less tasty, not more.

It did seem a little bland, but I didn't know about the acid difference. I just figured it was my latent aversion. I tried to focus on the flavor, but found myself eating it quickly anyway like a task I didn't really want to do but was doing anyway.

I definitely don't have as strong of an aversion as I had after my last "experiment".

I still note them in my environment on instinct. On a walk a couple of days ago I was "in my head thinking" but found my eyes shifted downward. Took me a second to realize that I was looking at some orange peels someone had apparently thrown out of their car window or something on the side of the road.

It felt REALLY weird and I'd completely forgotten about the incident until just now.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 22, 2017, 01:15:31 am
I ate an orange today in quiet contemplation. It was an expensive "sumo citrus" brand orange that was almost unnaturally sweet and had almost no rind. Like a gigantic tangerine. I was reminded of the satsunas Junkenstein mentioned to me once. It may have been that type. It had loose easy to peel skin. It was a sweet moment taken to mark a bitter one.


I did it in quiet remembrance
Of how quickly the world shifts
And of the unspeakable gifts
That we are to each other
In this moment of love we have
And the moments only we are

Too soon to be only a quiet remembrance.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 22, 2017, 01:30:41 am
It is interesting, this orange-as-sacrament evolution.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on February 22, 2017, 01:34:22 am
I just told a bunch of people about the orange eating contest, and Cram's, Vex's, and TWJ's experiences with it.

They don't seem to want to play. I can't imagine why.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 22, 2017, 01:45:18 am
It is interesting, this orange-as-sacrament evolution.

The thought hit me when I saw the pile of oranges at apparently ridiculous markup and having seen the reminder of your loss on FB earlier something clicked. I bought one and set it aside at my friend's place to go meet with an old friend and otherwise carry on with my day. I figured after sundown would be best to sit quietly and eat. Eventually I felt compelled to the writing. I'd thought to try right away but nothing was there to write. I helped my friends bring in groceries and receive a package full of keepsakes from one of their grandmothers(they're married). At some point I realized that I felt the urge to write, and that was the result.

I could go on at length about symbolism, but that didn't even matter.
Sooner or later all we have is how we remember.


I just told a bunch of people about the orange eating contest, and Cram's, Vex's, and TWJ's experiences with it.

They don't seem to want to play. I can't imagine why.

Call them weak little terrified namby-pamby babies TOO AFRAID to eat the ORANGES! See if that helps. Cramulus was much better at the provocative shit-talk part of the rites.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 22, 2017, 02:16:55 am
I just told a bunch of people about the orange eating contest, and Cram's, Vex's, and TWJ's experiences with it.

They don't seem to want to play. I can't imagine why.

They don't know what they're missing.

I mean, if they did they would be relieved, but the fact remains that they don't know.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on February 22, 2017, 02:31:13 am
I just told a bunch of people about the orange eating contest, and Cram's, Vex's, and TWJ's experiences with it.

They don't seem to want to play. I can't imagine why.

They don't know what they're missing.

I mean, if they did they would be relieved, but the fact remains that they don't know.

 :lol: True.
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on September 20, 2017, 08:01:45 am
http://www.sciencealert.com/how-12-000-tonnes-of-dumped-orange-peel-produced-something-nobody-imagined

What better place to put an article about 12,000 tonnes of orange peel than the thread that has produced the most on this forum?
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on September 20, 2017, 03:43:56 pm
And lo Freeky did bump the thread
And the dread ORANGES set to rustle
My stomach to turning and arse did clench


... not again. Never again! Sweet Goddess no!!  :aaa:
Title: Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Post by: Freeky on September 21, 2017, 08:15:37 am
 :lulz: Sorry