Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: DECI4 on January 17, 2012, 10:03:11 pm

Title: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 17, 2012, 10:03:11 pm
You will need:

A Potato.
Salt
pepper
Cooking oil
Cheese grater


Peel and grate your potato into a container of cold water. Drain, rinse and cover with water again. Repeat until the water drains clear. This washes the starch from the potatoes and keeps them from turning grey and gluey. Finally, squeeze the water from the shredded potato as best you can using a clean towel or paper towels. I used a potato ricer, but I'm sure most of you won't have one.

Heat a pan (preferably non-stick) over high heat. Add enough cooking oil to cover the bottom of the pan and wait until super hot, just before smoking. Add your potatoes in a thin layer and cook on one side until brown and crispy. Using a spatula turn over the potatos and cook the other side until done. Don't forget to season liberally with salt and pepper. Top with a few sunny side eggs and enjoy.
__________________
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 10:09:36 pm
I used a potato ricer, but I'm sure most of you won't have one.

Just a quick note...The correct syntax for that would be:

I used a potato ricer (Yuo cannot afford)
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 17, 2012, 10:14:38 pm
I used a potato ricer, but I'm sure most of you won't have one.

Just a quick note...The correct syntax for that would be:

I used a potato ricer (Yuo cannot afford)

You said it, not me. Sorry to hear about your tough times though.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 17, 2012, 10:19:50 pm
I have a potato ricer and putting a raw potato thru it is a fucking pain in the ass!

Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 17, 2012, 10:46:54 pm
I used a potato ricer, but I'm sure most of you won't have one.

Just a quick note...The correct syntax for that would be:

I used a potato ricer (Yuo cannot afford)

You said it, not me. Sorry to hear about your tough times though.

:lulz:

You really are a classic aspie, aren't you?

:lulz:
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 17, 2012, 11:08:36 pm
I have a potato ricer and putting a raw potato thru it is a fucking pain in the ass!

Yea, but its the only way to make nyoki  :cry:
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 18, 2012, 12:12:43 am
is that anything like gnocchi?

:lulz:

I mean, not that anyone who cooks for a living should know that or anything. Or that when cooking homemade hasbrowns the pan HAS to be non-stick.

Keep trying, little man.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 18, 2012, 12:25:31 am
is that anything like gnocchi?

:lulz:

I mean, not that anyone who cooks for a living should know that or anything. Or that when cooking homemade hasbrowns the pan HAS to be non-stick.

Keep trying, little man.

LOL, as usual with you, I don't even have to try. Keep dancing for me clown.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Don Coyote on January 18, 2012, 12:36:00 am
I prefer a well seasoned cast iron skillet for most of my stove top needs. They way I figure, any bits of the iron get into my food it's not as bad as bits of weird chemicals that make up the non-stick, but I could be totally wrong.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 18, 2012, 12:39:45 am
I prefer a well seasoned cast iron skillet for most of my stove top needs. They way I figure, any bits of the iron get into my food it's not as bad as bits of weird chemicals that make up the non-stick, but I could be totally wrong.

Maybe you didn't read the post above you, "when cooking hash browns the pan HAS to be non stick."

You see, hash browns were first invented by the makers of Teflon. The recipe first appeared on the sides of the boxes of pans with Teflon coating.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Don Coyote on January 18, 2012, 12:41:39 am
I prefer a well seasoned cast iron skillet for most of my stove top needs. They way I figure, any bits of the iron get into my food it's not as bad as bits of weird chemicals that make up the non-stick, but I could be totally wrong.

Maybe you didn't read the post above you, "when cooking hash browns the pan HAS to be non stick."

And yet I have an issue.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 18, 2012, 12:49:02 am
DECI4, you're an even bigger idiot than I though.

Are you trying to say that teflon is the only non-stick cooking surface available?

Because a properly seasoned cast iron pan IS non-stick. And Calphalon fucking rocks.

YOU---> :a2m: <----ME
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 18, 2012, 12:57:21 am
DECI4, you're an even bigger idiot than I though.

Are you trying to say that teflon is the only non-stick cooking surface available?

Because a properly seasoned cast iron pan IS non-stick. And Calphalon fucking rocks.

YOU---> :a2m: <----ME

Context little buddy. Context. Not that you care.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 18, 2012, 01:03:30 am
OK, in what context is teflon the only kind of non-stick cooking surface?

Aside from the context where you're a third-rate troll trying to pretend he knows about cooking, that is.


(Please be a troll. The thought that you're a real person who is actually like this is just depressing.)
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 18, 2012, 01:05:12 am
OK, in what context is teflon the only kind of non-stick cooking surface?

Aside from the context where you're a third-rate troll trying to pretend he knows about cooking, that is.


(Please be a troll. The thought that you're a real person who is actually like this is just depressing.)

 :lol:
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Nast on January 18, 2012, 01:48:29 am
I have a potato ricer and putting a raw potato thru it is a fucking pain in the ass!

Yea, but its the only way to make nyoki  :cry:

Another way of doing it is to bake your potatoes, chill them (when they're hot the flesh tends to be too soft and sticky, and of course can burn you), then shred them on a cheese grater.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 18, 2012, 03:01:53 am
Lard or GTFO, chick who can't spell gnocchi and thinks nonstick = teflon.

Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 18, 2012, 04:14:29 am
Lard or GTFO, chick who can't spell gnocchi and thinks nonstick = teflon.

I gave you more credit  than fuckyouoneeye.


*shakes head sadly*

Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: navkat on January 18, 2012, 04:36:39 am
I thought non-stick = teflon. I can't get the cast iron to stop eating half my food. :(
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Don Coyote on January 18, 2012, 04:42:27 am
I thought non-stick = teflon. I can't get the cast iron to stop eating half my food. :(

needs seasoning.

I bet ECH or Nigel or someone better at it will explain better, but basically you heat the skillet up and pour oil/fat on it and coat the inside. You get a nonstick layer of oil on the pan.

Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: navkat on January 18, 2012, 04:44:09 am
Yeah...I fucked that up.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Don Coyote on January 18, 2012, 04:45:36 am
Yeah...I fucked that up.
http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/cooking-tips-techniques/preparation/cleaning-seasoning-cast-iron-skillet-10000001178519/index.html
Stick it in the oven for a good long time, be prepared for smoke.

Again, I am not a pro and probably do a lot of things wrong.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: navkat on January 18, 2012, 04:49:54 am
No, I mean, I still manage to get the food to stick, even when it's seasoned.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Don Coyote on January 18, 2012, 04:51:40 am
No, I mean, I still manage to get the food to stick, even when it's seasoned.

I don't know then. Use more oil?
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: navkat on January 18, 2012, 04:58:55 am
Teflon was invented for my kind.

I can nuke a meeeean bag of popcorn though.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Pæs on January 18, 2012, 05:02:39 am
You will need:

A Potato.
Salt
pepper
Cooking oil
Cheese grater

Then you're all "yo, get your pan and spatula".
What the everfucking shit, dude? If you're going to list 'cheese grater', be a little more consistent with your listing scheme and include the other tools as well. I don't believe that you even made this.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 18, 2012, 06:52:51 am
Lard or GTFO, chick who can't spell gnocchi and thinks nonstick = teflon.

I gave you more credit  than fuckyouoneeye.


*shakes head sadly*

Why? He's a professional chef and I'm a college student who makes a living selling beads.

I also used to sell high-end and professional kitchenware for a living, and know that while "nonstick" means "Teflon™" to consumers, it means something entirely different to professional chefs, because Teflon coating is completely impractical in a production setting.

Also I can spell gnocchi, if not cook them.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 18, 2012, 07:13:48 am
Lard or GTFO, chick who can't spell gnocchi and thinks nonstick = teflon.

I gave you more credit  than fuckyouoneeye.


*shakes head sadly*

Why? He's a professional chef and I'm a college student who makes a living selling beads.

I also used to sell high-end and professional kitchenware for a living, and know that while "nonstick" means "Teflon™" to consumers, it means something entirely different to professional chefs, because Teflon coating is completely impractical in a production setting.

Also I can spell gnocchi, if not cook them.


LOL wow. I respond to someone pretending they are supposed to push raw potato through a ricer by using the most blatant phonetic misspelling of gnocchi a child could imagine and you guys are giggling to each other when even the most obvious and lame jokes go right over your head? Boy you guys sure showed me!  :lol:

Pro tip: If you were working in any kitchen and asked someone to hand you a "non-stick pan" which you wouldn't, you would ask for an egg pan or a large egg pan, they would not hand you a cast iron skillet. As for "production settings" any place that serves breakfast uses "non stick pans", not cast iron. You would use cast iron for frittatas and that is about it. In fact speaking of nyoki, we used to use egg pans to pan fry them in brown butter.

Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 18, 2012, 07:14:44 am
You will need:

A Potato.
Salt
pepper
Cooking oil
Cheese grater



Then you're all "yo, get your pan and spatula".
What the everfucking shit, dude? If you're going to list 'cheese grater', be a little more consistent with your listing scheme and include the other tools as well. I don't believe that you even made this.

I see what you did there. :thumbsupemoticon:
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Don Coyote on January 18, 2012, 07:31:50 am
I seriously want to know where the fuck this cockstain works so I can be sure to never eat there.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 18, 2012, 07:42:09 am
I seriously want to know where the fuck this cockstain works so I can be sure to never eat there.

Yea you said that already. Did you need someone to acknowledge it or something?
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 18, 2012, 07:45:05 am
Gonna go with "nobody cares"
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 18, 2012, 07:46:57 am
Lard or GTFO, chick who can't spell gnocchi and thinks nonstick = teflon.

I gave you more credit  than fuckyouoneeye.


*shakes head sadly*

Why? He's a professional chef and I'm a college student who makes a living selling beads.

I also used to sell high-end and professional kitchenware for a living, and know that while "nonstick" means "Teflon™" to consumers, it means something entirely different to professional chefs, because Teflon coating is completely impractical in a production setting.

Also I can spell gnocchi, if not cook them.


LOL wow. I respond to someone pretending they are supposed to push raw potato through a ricer by using the most blatant phonetic misspelling of gnocchi a child could imagine and you guys are giggling to each other when even the most obvious and lame jokes go right over your head? Boy you guys sure showed me!  :lol:

Pro tip: If you were working in any kitchen and asked someone to hand you a "non-stick pan" which you wouldn't, you would ask for an egg pan or a large egg pan, they would not hand you a cast iron skillet. As for "production settings" any place that serves breakfast uses "non stick pans", not cast iron. You would use cast iron for frittatas and that is about it. In fact speaking of nyoki, we used to use egg pans to pan fry them in brown butter.
Dude, What? I make glass, not sure what it is you're talking about here.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 18, 2012, 07:55:03 am
Lard or GTFO, chick who can't spell gnocchi and thinks nonstick = teflon.

I gave you more credit  than fuckyouoneeye.


*shakes head sadly*

Why? He's a professional chef and I'm a college student who makes a living selling beads.

I also used to sell high-end and professional kitchenware for a living, and know that while "nonstick" means "Teflon™" to consumers, it means something entirely different to professional chefs, because Teflon coating is completely impractical in a production setting.

Also I can spell gnocchi, if not cook them.


LOL wow. I respond to someone pretending they are supposed to push raw potato through a ricer by using the most blatant phonetic misspelling of gnocchi a child could imagine and you guys are giggling to each other when even the most obvious and lame jokes go right over your head? Boy you guys sure showed me!  :lol:

Pro tip: If you were working in any kitchen and asked someone to hand you a "non-stick pan" which you wouldn't, you would ask for an egg pan or a large egg pan, they would not hand you a cast iron skillet. As for "production settings" any place that serves breakfast uses "non stick pans", not cast iron. You would use cast iron for frittatas and that is about it. In fact speaking of nyoki, we used to use egg pans to pan fry them in brown butter.
Dude, What? I make glass, not sure what it is you're talking about here.
You got that glass? Shards? Yo pm me girl I got cash in hand no SHIT!
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 18, 2012, 01:39:41 pm
Lard or GTFO, chick who can't spell gnocchi and thinks nonstick = teflon.

I gave you more credit  than fuckyouoneeye.


*shakes head sadly*

Why? He's a professional chef and I'm a college student who makes a living selling beads.

I also used to sell high-end and professional kitchenware for a living, and know that while "nonstick" means "Teflon™" to consumers, it means something entirely different to professional chefs, because Teflon coating is completely impractical in a production setting.

Also I can spell gnocchi, if not cook them.


LOL wow. I respond to someone pretending they are supposed to push raw potato through a ricer by using the most blatant phonetic misspelling of gnocchi a child could imagine and you guys are giggling to each other when even the most obvious and lame jokes go right over your head? Boy you guys sure showed me!  :lol:

Pro tip: If you were working in any kitchen and asked someone to hand you a "non-stick pan" which you wouldn't, you would ask for an egg pan or a large egg pan, they would not hand you a cast iron skillet. As for "production settings" any place that serves breakfast uses "non stick pans", not cast iron. You would use cast iron for frittatas and that is about it. In fact speaking of nyoki, we used to use egg pans to pan fry them in brown butter.



yeah, because they totally don't make cast iron egg pans.

Anyway, when it comes to non-stick pans, Calphalon or GTFO.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 18, 2012, 01:40:36 pm
Lard or GTFO, chick who can't spell gnocchi and thinks nonstick = teflon.

I gave you more credit  than fuckyouoneeye.


*shakes head sadly*

Why? He's a professional chef and I'm a college student who makes a living selling beads.

I also used to sell high-end and professional kitchenware for a living, and know that while "nonstick" means "Teflon™" to consumers, it means something entirely different to professional chefs, because Teflon coating is completely impractical in a production setting.

Also I can spell gnocchi, if not cook them.


LOL wow. I respond to someone pretending they are supposed to push raw potato through a ricer by using the most blatant phonetic misspelling of gnocchi a child could imagine and you guys are giggling to each other when even the most obvious and lame jokes go right over your head? Boy you guys sure showed me!  :lol:

Pro tip: If you were working in any kitchen and asked someone to hand you a "non-stick pan" which you wouldn't, you would ask for an egg pan or a large egg pan, they would not hand you a cast iron skillet. As for "production settings" any place that serves breakfast uses "non stick pans", not cast iron. You would use cast iron for frittatas and that is about it. In fact speaking of nyoki, we used to use egg pans to pan fry them in brown butter.
Dude, What? I make glass, not sure what it is you're talking about here.
You got that glass? Shards? Yo pm me girl I got cash in hand no SHIT!

Ah, a tweeker.

This all makes alot more sense now.

And don't bother trying to convince us that was a joke.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 18, 2012, 02:57:33 pm
Anyway, when it comes to non-stick pans, Calphalon or GTFO.

I inherited 3 calphalon pans when Dad died and I absolutely love them.  LOVE THEM!!!

I still use my cast iron for a lot though.  There are just some things that have to be made in cast iron to taste right to me.  Cornbread is a good example. :lulz:
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Sita on January 18, 2012, 03:13:22 pm
I have never heard of Calphalon. I'm thinking that means I need to go to some high end place and not Wal-Mart to get them...
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Elder Iptuous on January 18, 2012, 03:19:38 pm
i think we got our calphalon pan at Target.  not too expensive.  the high end cooking stores will rape your wallet for the same products you can get elsewhere, in my experience.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 18, 2012, 03:38:38 pm
I'm fairly certain Dad got his at WalMart or Target, he hated having to go anywhere else to shop.  I could be wrong and unfortunately can't ask.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Sita on January 18, 2012, 03:47:39 pm
Will have to take a closer look next time I'm at the store then. Got tax money coming and one of the things we want to get are new pots and pans (damn teflon is coming off what we have)
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 18, 2012, 03:48:40 pm
Will have to take a closer look next time I'm at the store then. Got tax money coming and one of the things we want to get are new pots and pans (damn teflon is coming off what we have)

If you can't find caphalon then get cast iron, it lasts forever, what I have was my grandmother's and will eventually be my daughter's.  :lulz:
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Sita on January 18, 2012, 03:51:22 pm
Will have to take a closer look next time I'm at the store then. Got tax money coming and one of the things we want to get are new pots and pans (damn teflon is coming off what we have)

If you can't find caphalon then get cast iron, it lasts forever, what I have was my grandmother's and will eventually be my daughter's.  :lulz:
Hubby would love to have cast iron, but we haven't been able to find it either. Gonna have to make a trip to Tampa, I think.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Elder Iptuous on January 18, 2012, 03:53:45 pm
although i didn't do it on my cast iron pan, i have heard that you get a much better non stick surface (and more quickly seasoned) if you take an orbital sander to it to get it as smooth as possible before you start the process.
i can totally see that, since the pan i got, and all the others i've seen in the store since hearing that, have a fairly rough surface at purchase.

you know anything about that, Hustle?
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 18, 2012, 03:57:44 pm
Will have to take a closer look next time I'm at the store then. Got tax money coming and one of the things we want to get are new pots and pans (damn teflon is coming off what we have)

If you can't find caphalon then get cast iron, it lasts forever, what I have was my grandmother's and will eventually be my daughter's.  :lulz:
Hubby would love to have cast iron, but we haven't been able to find it either. Gonna have to make a trip to Tampa, I think.

Maybe online?  Or I know many of the Cabella's or other camping hunting type stores have them.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Elder Iptuous on January 18, 2012, 04:03:46 pm
i got my cast iron from target, as well, i believe.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Sita on January 18, 2012, 04:10:56 pm
Z-hills needs to get a Target. We've got Kmart and Walmart but no Target :(
Though I think there is one in Wesley Chapel, which would be closer than the one in Tampa...

Will put the idea in the husband's head. There's other stuff we can do while we are out that way too.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Elder Iptuous on January 18, 2012, 04:12:25 pm
you could order over the intarwebs?
a hunk of cast iron is about as foolproof a thing you could select to buy sight unseen, i would think?
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Sita on January 18, 2012, 04:24:49 pm
you could order over the intarwebs?
a hunk of cast iron is about as foolproof a thing you could select to buy sight unseen, i would think?

Oh, I'm sure we'll do that if we have to. But my husband likes to get his hands on stuff before he buys it if possible.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 18, 2012, 04:27:11 pm
Z-hills needs to get a Target. We've got Kmart and Walmart but no Target :(
Though I think there is one in Wesley Chapel, which would be closer than the one in Tampa...

Will put the idea in the husband's head. There's other stuff we can do while we are out that way too.

Many hardware stores either have or can order cast iron cookware.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 18, 2012, 11:55:37 pm
although i didn't do it on my cast iron pan, i have heard that you get a much better non stick surface (and more quickly seasoned) if you take an orbital sander to it to get it as smooth as possible before you start the process.
i can totally see that, since the pan i got, and all the others i've seen in the store since hearing that, have a fairly rough surface at purchase.

you know anything about that, Hustle?

Never tried it myself but it makes sense to me.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 19, 2012, 12:16:28 am
The OP was actually a nearly perfectly composed troll post. I appreciate the elegant simplicity.

1. A very simple task
2. A condescending presentation
3. Massive logistical failures that are obvious to people who possess specific knowledge, yet invisible to those who don't

Well done, really.

It would be an even bigger win if it got someone to actually try to rice a raw potato.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 19, 2012, 12:31:47 am
Yeah, point taken. :lulz:

It's too bad DERPI4 couldn't just be cool here and use those talents on more rewarding targets.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 19, 2012, 01:14:33 am
The OP was actually a nearly perfectly composed troll post. I appreciate the elegant simplicity.

1. A very simple task
2. A condescending presentation
3. Massive logistical failures that are obvious to people who possess specific knowledge, yet invisible to those who don't

Well done, really.

It would be an even bigger win if it got someone to actually try to rice a raw potato.

Sorry Nigel, but you are the failure. I gave very specific instructions that nobody in their right mind (save fuckyouoneeue) would refute and you guys are too thick and simple minded to take advantage of. Enjoy your failbrowns. In fact I would challenge you to ignore my advice and do the opposite of what i RECCOMEND IN MY Op, and tell me how your hash browns turn out.

Follow the leader sheeple.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 19, 2012, 01:28:55 am

It's too bad DERPI4 couldn't just be cool here and use those talents on more rewarding targets.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 19, 2012, 05:24:27 am

It's too bad DERPI4 couldn't just be cool here and use those talents on more rewarding targets.

Yeah, pretty much. Seems cool and pretty smart, would probably be fun to troll with.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 19, 2012, 05:30:53 am
The OP was actually a nearly perfectly composed troll post. I appreciate the elegant simplicity.

1. A very simple task
2. A condescending presentation
3. Massive logistical failures that are obvious to people who possess specific knowledge, yet invisible to those who don't

Well done, really.

It would be an even bigger win if it got someone to actually try to rice a raw potato.

Sorry Nigel, but you are the failure. I gave very specific instructions that nobody in their right mind (save fuckyouoneeue) would refute and you guys are too thick and simple minded to take advantage of. Enjoy your failbrowns. In fact I would challenge you to ignore my advice and do the opposite of what i RECCOMEND IN MY Op, and tell me how your hash browns turn out.

Follow the leader sheeple.

Dude, there's already someone here who does the recipe-fail troll, and does it way funnier than you do. I do like your style though, and it certainly has been effective at getting members here actually arguing with you about shit like ricing raw potatoes, which is pretty fucking funny. Or using riced potatoes for hash browns. Good one. A ricer is useful for squeezing out the moisture if you use raw potatoes, though.

Also, lard or GTFO. Seriously, there is never an excuse for using "cooking oil" for panfrying. But you know that.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Don Coyote on January 19, 2012, 06:29:22 am
I FUCKING LOVE LARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 19, 2012, 06:35:55 am
I FUCKING LOVE LARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lard is the best.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Freeky on January 19, 2012, 07:28:15 am
The Dark Empress Nigel left lard at The Wall.


Tucson hasn't been the same since.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 19, 2012, 07:44:11 am
The Dark Empress Nigel left lard at The Wall.


Tucson hasn't been the same since.

I hear it's time for me to come back and do it again. I don't know how I could manage it, but if an opportunity comes up I totally will.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Freeky on January 19, 2012, 08:04:15 am
The Dark Empress Nigel left lard at The Wall.


Tucson hasn't been the same since.

I hear it's time for me to come back and do it again. I don't know how I could manage it, but if an opportunity comes up I totally will.

YES.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Triple Zero on January 19, 2012, 03:13:18 pm
On the subject of non-stick pans, and actually pans in general. Cause I'm looking to buy some new pans and I want good ones, because really, it's just a pleasure to cook with if you got quality tools. Even though it'll spoil you for whenever you cook at somebody else's place and kind of tempts you to bring your own knife with you :P

Anyway. Nigel said Teflon coating is completely impractical in a production setting. Why is that, I'm curious?

And ECH said
Anyway, when it comes to non-stick pans, Calphalon or GTFO.

I looked that up and it turns out Calphalon is an entire brand of kitchenware, not a particular type of coating material? So what are Calphalon non-stick pans coated with, and why are they so superior?

Anyway, I'm looking for a medium-small frying pan (a skillet is the same thing right?) and a larger one with higher curved/sloped edges, which is apparently "called a sauteuse (literally a sauté pan in the female gender), an evasée (denoting a pan with sloping sides), or a fait-tout (does everything) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frying_pan#Frying_pan_relatives)".

I'm checking whether the bottoms of the pans are sufficiently thick and heavy, and what material they're coated with.

Currently I'm looking at regular non-stick coating, though I'm not sure if it's still all Teflon? The typical smooth dark-grey coating that used to scratch and flake off and you pretended it was black pepper material, I only see that on the cheapest models, which I'm not buying. The other non-stick surfaces are a lot rougher, a bit like fine sandpaper, except the non-stick material makes them rough but slippery and the most important bit is that it won't flake into your food. I wonder if you could even use metal spatulas on those. Anyone know is that also Teflon? The ones from BK are rough dark grey and Tefal's are dark grey brown with a greenish hue.

(BK and Tefal are the two most common brands I've seen in typical houseware stores. I haven't checked real kitchen stores yet because they're often much more expensive, but not always for quality, but for being extra fancy--though there's a new one which seems to be a bit more reasonable in that respect)

Another material I've seen from BK is ceramic coating. It's advertised as being able to withstand much higher temperatures than Teflon, which is nice. One big wok-frying-pan model even had a heat proof handle so you could put it in the oven. And the ceramic models are heavier and thicker so I guess they keep/distribute heat better. They're blueish light-grey in colour. Only problem is they're generally almost twice as pricey as the same basic non-stick models. Is that worth it? Looking at $53 for a 9.5 inch ceramic frying pan and $84 for that big 12 inch ceramic wok-frying-pan thing which *does* look pretty awesome. But it's a kinda hefty price IMO.

Finally I'm still looking for a nice cast iron Dutch oven. But they're hard to find, especially big ones and not quite cheap either. I found a 9 inch cast iron pot new for $52 which is not a bad deal, but I kind of would like to have one a bit bigger than that. I should probably go looking for cast iron in second hand stores, but when they have some, they're probably gone real quick because I hardly ever spotted them :)

BTW anyone know what's up with those pans that are suitable for induction cooking? I use gas, of course, so I suppose I could use either one and it would not matter?
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Eater of Clowns on January 19, 2012, 03:15:48 pm
although i didn't do it on my cast iron pan, i have heard that you get a much better non stick surface (and more quickly seasoned) if you take an orbital sander to it to get it as smooth as possible before you start the process.
i can totally see that, since the pan i got, and all the others i've seen in the store since hearing that, have a fairly rough surface at purchase.

you know anything about that, Hustle?

Never tried it myself but it makes sense to me.

I was under the impression that the rough surface of the pan is what allows it to absorb the fats to be seasoned?
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Eater of Clowns on January 19, 2012, 03:18:48 pm
BTW GUYS DID YOU HEAR ABOUT MY HASH BROWN RECIPE?  YOU'LL NEED THIS.

Salt
Pepper
Oil

You stick those things into a pan and let them cook for a while and then you get this:

(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/170/369055912_19f02df9d6.jpg)
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 19, 2012, 03:27:26 pm
BTW GUYS DID YOU HEAR ABOUT MY HASH BROWN RECIPE?  YOU'LL NEED THIS.

Salt
Pepper
Oil

You stick those things into a pan and let them cook for a while and then you get this:

(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/170/369055912_19f02df9d6.jpg)

Dude I don't know how you did that without potatos but fucking RAH!!!

:mittens:

 :lulz:
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Eater of Clowns on January 19, 2012, 03:28:46 pm
Sekrit chef techniques.

You think that's impressive, though?  You should see what Alty can do without yams.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 19, 2012, 03:29:19 pm
although i didn't do it on my cast iron pan, i have heard that you get a much better non stick surface (and more quickly seasoned) if you take an orbital sander to it to get it as smooth as possible before you start the process.
i can totally see that, since the pan i got, and all the others i've seen in the store since hearing that, have a fairly rough surface at purchase.

you know anything about that, Hustle?

Never tried it myself but it makes sense to me.

I was under the impression that the rough surface of the pan is what allows it to absorb the fats to be seasoned?

No the bumps make little pockets and will, if left, cause the pan to eventually have hotspots.  You should ever so often sand your cast iron and re-season it to keep it smooth and avoid places where food will stick.

I do it about once a year with mine.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 19, 2012, 03:33:20 pm
BTW GUYS DID YOU HEAR ABOUT MY HASH BROWN RECIPE?  YOU'LL NEED THIS.

Salt
Pepper
Oil

You stick those things into a pan and let them cook for a while and then you get this:

(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/170/369055912_19f02df9d6.jpg)

:mittens:
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 19, 2012, 03:36:45 pm
On the subject of non-stick pans, and actually pans in general. Cause I'm looking to buy some new pans and I want good ones, because really, it's just a pleasure to cook with if you got quality tools. Even though it'll spoil you for whenever you cook at somebody else's place and kind of tempts you to bring your own knife with you :P

Anyway. Nigel said Teflon coating is completely impractical in a production setting. Why is that, I'm curious?

And ECH said
Anyway, when it comes to non-stick pans, Calphalon or GTFO.

I looked that up and it turns out Calphalon is an entire brand of kitchenware, not a particular type of coating material? So what are Calphalon non-stick pans coated with, and why are they so superior?

Anyway, I'm looking for a medium-small frying pan (a skillet is the same thing right?) and a larger one with higher curved/sloped edges, which is apparently "called a sauteuse (literally a sauté pan in the female gender), an evasée (denoting a pan with sloping sides), or a fait-tout (does everything) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frying_pan#Frying_pan_relatives)".

I'm checking whether the bottoms of the pans are sufficiently thick and heavy, and what material they're coated with.

Currently I'm looking at regular non-stick coating, though I'm not sure if it's still all Teflon? The typical smooth dark-grey coating that used to scratch and flake off and you pretended it was black pepper material, I only see that on the cheapest models, which I'm not buying. The other non-stick surfaces are a lot rougher, a bit like fine sandpaper, except the non-stick material makes them rough but slippery and the most important bit is that it won't flake into your food. I wonder if you could even use metal spatulas on those. Anyone know is that also Teflon? The ones from BK are rough dark grey and Tefal's are dark grey brown with a greenish hue.

(BK and Tefal are the two most common brands I've seen in typical houseware stores. I haven't checked real kitchen stores yet because they're often much more expensive, but not always for quality, but for being extra fancy--though there's a new one which seems to be a bit more reasonable in that respect)

Another material I've seen from BK is ceramic coating. It's advertised as being able to withstand much higher temperatures than Teflon, which is nice. One big wok-frying-pan model even had a heat proof handle so you could put it in the oven. And the ceramic models are heavier and thicker so I guess they keep/distribute heat better. They're blueish light-grey in colour. Only problem is they're generally almost twice as pricey as the same basic non-stick models. Is that worth it? Looking at $53 for a 9.5 inch ceramic frying pan and $84 for that big 12 inch ceramic wok-frying-pan thing which *does* look pretty awesome. But it's a kinda hefty price IMO.

Finally I'm still looking for a nice cast iron Dutch oven. But they're hard to find, especially big ones and not quite cheap either. I found a 9 inch cast iron pot new for $52 which is not a bad deal, but I kind of would like to have one a bit bigger than that. I should probably go looking for cast iron in second hand stores, but when they have some, they're probably gone real quick because I hardly ever spotted them :)

BTW anyone know what's up with those pans that are suitable for induction cooking? I use gas, of course, so I suppose I could use either one and it would not matter?

Calphalon was originally anodized aluminum, like so:

(http://www.diningandkitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/calphalon-anodized-cookware-a-great-cooking-pan-for-everyday-kitchen-use1.jpg)

Once seasoned, it's fantastic.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Kai on January 19, 2012, 10:59:41 pm
I just buy the pre-shredded frozen Russet Burbank, heat it in a pan with a bit of oil, flip it all when it browns on one side, and then cut it up into portion sized chunks at the end, adding a little salt and pepper. It's not bourgeoisie, but it will do.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 20, 2012, 02:53:08 pm
I just buy the pre-shredded frozen Russet Burbank, heat it in a pan with a bit of oil, flip it all when it browns on one side, and then cut it up into portion sized chunks at the end, adding a little salt and pepper. It's not bourgeoisie, but it will do.

Yeah, pretty much what I do as well.  I despise using a shredder and end up shredding at least one finger in the process.....  I do throw in chopped onion with mine, but I'm weird.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 20, 2012, 03:28:34 pm
This is where I would make noise about frozen potatoes not having any nutritional value, but the truth is that fresh potatoes don't have any nutritional value either.

They sure do a hell of a job of soaking up last night's cheap beer though!
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 20, 2012, 03:52:17 pm
This is where I would make noise about frozen potatoes not having any nutritional value, but the truth is that fresh potatoes don't have any nutritional value either.

They sure do a hell of a job of soaking up last night's cheap beer though!

 :lulz:

The Waffle House cure? Scattered, smothered and covered?
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 20, 2012, 03:58:29 pm
Top that with a couple of eggs over easy and it's a pretty unbeatable hangover cure.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 20, 2012, 04:09:18 pm
Top that with a couple of eggs over easy and it's a pretty unbeatable hangover cure.

TROOF!!!

 :lulz:
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Eater of Clowns on January 20, 2012, 05:05:16 pm
I hate you fuckos that can eat with a hangover.  When I'm hung over I can't even keep fluids down, which means I don't get better for like the entire day.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 20, 2012, 05:08:48 pm
I hate you fuckos that can eat with a hangover.  When I'm hung over I can't even keep fluids down, which means I don't get better for like the entire day.

Which means you did not follow the three to one rule of drinking in which you drink a glass or bottle of water or gatorade for every three drinks so you do not become dehydrated and can then eat.  Also, right before you go to bed, drink as much gatorade as you can stomache and take a couple of advil. 

Then when you wake up with a raging hangover you will also be starving!!! :lulz:
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 20, 2012, 05:50:43 pm
Just remember to NEVER take tylenol or any other form or acetaminophen after a night of drinking, or even first thing the next morning. Your liver will thank you.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on January 20, 2012, 06:22:07 pm
water before bed is a much superior idea.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Salty on January 21, 2012, 02:18:38 am
Sekrit chef techniques.

You think that's impressive, though?  You should see what Alty can do without yams.

:crankey:
Do not mock my flawless yam technique, I will fuck some yams shit up, even if they're in a different timezone.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: DECI4 on January 21, 2012, 09:37:48 am
The human liver is probably the most resilient of all the organs. Drug cocktails that would seem extravagant to Hunter S Thompson pass through your system with little to no noticeable damage.

Why just the other night some friends and I polished off two half gallons of cheap vodka, a case of cheap beer and then we threw my drug stash (two speed bombs disguised as blue dolphins and a half gram of MXE into a mortar and pestle and railed that shit like it was pure columbian flake.) I awoke to find a couple of my freinds coming back from a late night sledding  excursion and vomit in my hair. The love seat will never smell the same. T
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: East Coast Hustle on January 21, 2012, 02:26:18 pm
You're totally correct. You should probably swallow a handful of tylenol with every cocktail.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on January 21, 2012, 04:10:31 pm
It all makes sense now.
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Freeky on January 21, 2012, 05:56:07 pm
You're totally correct. You should probably swallow a handful of tylenol with every cocktail.

Not just good advice for DECI4, but also for all her friends!
Title: Re: Perfect home made hash browns
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on January 23, 2012, 03:10:10 pm
You're totally correct. You should probably swallow a handful of tylenol with every cocktail.

Not just good advice for DECI4, but also for all her friends!

I would suggest the extra strength tylenol for good measure.