Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 18, 2014, 05:28:10 pm

Title: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 18, 2014, 05:28:10 pm
Part 1

I'd been down here a long time; just how long, I couldn't say.  It was just one of those 20th century things.  Could have been the Archduke, could have been a funny little Austrian clown making funny little speeches.  Could have been critters in the tunnels, Nessies in the sewers maybe, or just a little phosgene gas in the trenches.  Just another day in the happy place.

I made my way up a set of stairs made from expended artillery casings, and walked out into "daylight".  Trenches spread out before me.  Concertina wire.  A Fokker triplane strafing some Tommies.  My duster and pistols were gone, and I was in filthy khaki and puttees.  Okay, so it was going to be the world war I thing. 

I was really tired of the world war I thing.

I  crouched and ran along the trench line.  I never know what I'm supposed to do when these things start.  It just sort of works its way out as I go along.  Hell, most of the time I just wind up bearing witness to other peoples' tragedies.  And make no mistake, every corpse on this field is a tragedy...To the parents, the wives, the siblings, most of all to the dead young men piled up in windrows, slowly becoming one with the soil.

I went around a bend in the strangely-empty trench, and there she was...The curls of her hair tucked up under her "pie-plate" helmet, her uniform completely clean except for her puttees.  Nobody, not even generals, can keep clean boots in this mess.

"Excuse me, Miss, but what the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, I am here to ask you that exact question.  What are YOU doing here?"

"I don't know.  I got lost a few years ago.  I've been in this place - or places very much like it - ever since.  I'd like very much to go home to my wife and my kids."

"Then why don't you go back the way you came?"

I looked back over my shoulder.  Nothing there but mud.  I looked back at her.

"That's not funny."

"No, it isn't.  Just turn around.  Go home."

There was a series of sharp whistles.  I lunged into a dugout, screaming for her to take cover.  When the barrage was over, I peeked out of my hidey hole and looked.  No sign of her.  I jogged down the trench, looking around, in case she'd been injured or hurled down the trenchline.  Nothing.

I stood there for a while, absent-mindedly picking at nits in the seams of my uniform.  What the hell had just happened?  My stomach growled after a time, so I buggered off down the trench line, looking for some food.

After about an hour, I ran into some Frenchmen, the powder-blue of their uniforms completely obscured by the ever-present mud.  I have no French, but fortunately two of them spoke English.

"I am Emile.  This dour young man next to me is Andre", the older of the two said with ghastly relish, "You are welcome to eat with us; there are enough weevils for all."  Andre said nothing, instead digging through a poke and fashioning a cigarette of sorts.

"Thanks.  How long have you boys been on the line?"

Andre barked laughter.  Emile just looked at me strangely for a moment.  "We have been here since the beginning."

"What?  Since the war STARTED?"

"Yes.  It has become boring.  Today, a gas attack.  Tomorrow, it is the artillery.  The next day?"  He gave a very Gallic shrug, "Perhaps an assault from the boche.  It makes no difference.  God looks upon you, and you live.  God turns his head, and you die."

I must have been more tired than I thought, because at that moment, Emile flickered.  Just for a second.  Just long enough that I was sure I saw it.

"Perhaps you will bunk with us this night?  Perhaps you can find your unit in the morning?"

I had a really bad feeling about this, but it was dark as pitch by that point.

"I guess maybe I better."

"Excellent", Emile said with a strange smile, "Perhaps there will be Pinot later."  Beside him, Andre just smirked.

To be continued.








 
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 18, 2014, 05:33:47 pm
Cool, interesting to see where it's going.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on March 18, 2014, 05:35:59 pm
Quote
I was really tired of the world war I thing.


This has a heartbreaking resignation to it.  I can't wait for more.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 18, 2014, 05:37:28 pm
Cool, interesting to see where it's going.

It's gonna be a little different than the other "subterranean" stories.  I've been wanting to do this for a couple of months.  It's gonna be fairly short, and if it turns out like I think it will, I might try to find someone to draw it.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 18, 2014, 05:39:10 pm
Quote
I was really tired of the world war I thing.


This has a heartbreaking resignation to it.  I can't wait for more.

Tonight, at some point.  I am now having the usual "I'm afraid to continue" willies.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Eater of Clowns on March 18, 2014, 06:21:35 pm
Quote
I was really tired of the world war I thing.


This has a heartbreaking resignation to it.  I can't wait for more.

Tonight, at some point.  I am now having the usual "I'm afraid to continue" willies.

Those are unbearable. I've had them for just about every writing project I've ever started.

I'm looking forward to more of this one.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 18, 2014, 06:25:01 pm
Quote
I was really tired of the world war I thing.


This has a heartbreaking resignation to it.  I can't wait for more.

Tonight, at some point.  I am now having the usual "I'm afraid to continue" willies.

Those are unbearable. I've had them for just about every writing project I've ever started.

I'm looking forward to more of this one.

Yeah, I know what I want to say, I'm just chickening out.  Well, more in about 3 hours.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 18, 2014, 11:08:17 pm
Part 2

They came for me just before dawn.

I was crouched in a dugout, about 10 meters from where I'd set up my bedroll.  I watched the squad of French soldiers, led by Emile and Andre, as they crept up on where they thought I was.  Emile had a trench knife, Andre had a jug in each hand, and a funnel in his teeth.

Me?  I had a Springfield rifle.

As one, the other squad members jumped on my bedroll.  Emile moved up with the knife, just as the men holding "me" down realized something was wrong.  One lifted his head to say something to Emile, and I put a round between his eyes.  I worked the bolt, and shot another soldier in the chest.  He slumped to the ground soundlessly.

The other soldiers retreated around a bend in the trench, but not before I had shot two more of them.  That left Emile, Andre, and three others.

"You are a clever one, mon ami", Emile called from around the corner, "How did you know?"

"There's nobody else here, Emile.  No Germans, no other French soldiers.  Just your squad.  I thought that was a little strange, seeing as we're in the middle of the Great War."  As I spoke, I primed what was considered a "grenade" at this point in the war.  Really just a glorified nail bomb.

"Well, there were more once upon a time.  But Andre and I, we have developed a taste for pinot, yes?  I think you may find that your bullets are not so effective against he and I."

"Then why did you run, Emile?"  I heaved the nail bomb over the bend in the trench, guessing at how far back the French soldiers would be.  To land it behind them, that's the trick.

"We were startled, mon ami.  Only this.  Now..."

THUD

Mud landed all around me, as the French soldiers first screamed, then quieted to a low moaning.  I sprinted - slogged, really - around the bend and raised my bayonet.  In front of me were three mangled French soldiers.  At the far end of the trench, I saw Emile and Andre staggering away, flickering.  I slipped in the mud, and by the time I got up, they were gone.

I staggered away, the way I'd come.  I picked up my bedroll...And underneath, there was a glow.  I reached down and brushed away the mud, exposing what appeared to be a television screen of some kind.  On it was the woman I'd seen earlier, except that she wasn't wearing a military uniform.  She was instead wearing a white jacket of some kind, a lab coat, perhaps.  She was staring out at me intently, saying something, but there was no audio.  Then the screen flickered and died.  I tapped on it a few times, but it stayed dead.

I walked another hundred meters down the trench and sat on a makeshift bench someone had built out of ammo crates.  I rested my rifle on my lap, wrapped my bedroll around myself, and drifted off to sleep.

I was lying on a couch, like the old time psychiatrists used to use.  The woman was sitting on a chair next to me.  She picked up a pad and a pen, and looked at me.

"Why did you decide to use lethal force against the men in the trench?"

"Because they weren't men."

"They weren't?  Come now, what were they if they weren't men?"

"Monsters."

"There are no monsters."


I laughed so hard that I woke myself up.  But I wasn't in the trench anymore.

To be continued.

Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Eater of Clowns on March 18, 2014, 11:15:51 pm
I'm not sure what's more terrifying:  the possibility that none of these places are real, or that all of them are.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: N E T on March 18, 2014, 11:30:25 pm
Well, I'm hooked.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 18, 2014, 11:31:33 pm
I'm not sure what's more terrifying:  the possibility that none of these places are real, or that all of them are.

When I figure out which it is, I'll let you know.   :lulz:

Well, I'm hooked.

Thanks.  I'm having more fun with this than I expected.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Richter on March 19, 2014, 12:03:47 am
The surreal scene-shifting is done perfectly.  That's always how I expect real madness to be, all perfectly reasonable one minute, then sideways
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 19, 2014, 12:05:12 am
The surreal scene-shifting is done perfectly.  That's always how I expect real madness to be, all perfectly reasonable one minute, then sideways

We Doktors Holy Men™ call that "Tucson".
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 19, 2014, 12:11:33 am
This is interesting, and I like it.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 19, 2014, 12:16:42 am
This is interesting, and I like it.

Thanks!   :)
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Pæs on March 19, 2014, 01:35:14 am
Posting for updates on this here thread.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 19, 2014, 01:36:42 am
Posting for updates on this here thread.

?  I just added stuff.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Pæs on March 19, 2014, 01:39:34 am
I mean 'posting so I can see it in new replies, so it can't fall off my radar and to express interest.'
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 19, 2014, 01:42:02 am
I mean 'posting so I can see it in new replies, so it can't fall off my radar and to express interest.'

Oh, okay.  I plan to do one more this week, probably Thursday or Friday, then Tuesday or Wednesday should finish it.

I say "should" because it's supposed to be 5 parts but I've got 7 more in my head already.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on March 19, 2014, 02:27:33 am
This is grabbing me in the nut sack.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 19, 2014, 02:28:21 am
This is grabbing me in the nut sack.

Careful.

You might need that later.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Reginald Ret on March 19, 2014, 11:17:30 am
Don't mind me, I am just curled up in a corner of the couch with some hot tea waiting for the storytime to start again.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Sita on March 19, 2014, 11:25:10 am
Loving this so far
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 21, 2014, 04:51:27 pm
There will be more early in the week.  A little busy right now, tearing up Providence and getting footsore in Boston.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Luna on March 21, 2014, 04:58:04 pm
We'll return him, more or less intact.  I want more, too!
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 22, 2014, 06:39:13 am
I like that part. The no monsters bit and the hard laughing. That right there. That's truth seeping out and chomping down.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 23, 2014, 04:11:51 am
Part 3

I was freezing my ass off.  I was up to my ass in snow, on the side of a mountain.  All around me, the snow was stained red, with the center of each stain being a frozen body.  Some wearing vintage American uniforms, some Chinese.  The Korean war, then...Another slice of the 20th century, another abattoir in another land.

I shouldered my M1 carbine, and started downhill, toward a smouldering tank on the side of a road in the distance.  By the time I reached the tank, I couldn't feel my feet...But the tank was still hot as hell from the fire that had raged through it, and I was able to warm up a bit.  It began snowing fairly heavily as I fished a smoke out of my pocket and lit up.  As I took a long first drag, I heard an engine; a vehicle approaching.  I chambered a round in my rifle and moved behind the tank.

A "Willy" jeep came into sight through the snowstorm, with two people in the front.  As they approached, I recognized the driver as the curly-haired woman I had just recently seen.  Another woman was in the passenger seat, and both of them were dressed in American military uniforms, with red crosses on armbands.  I stepped out from behind the tank as they pulled up.

"Nice to see you again", I said, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"We came to get you before you freeze to death", the curly-haired woman said.  "Get in."

I got in the back, and the other woman handed me a blanket.  I wrapped it around my shoulders, as the jeep lurched back into gear and slowly proceeded down the road.

The other woman looked back at me and said, "You know, you really have to stop this shit."  I just puffed on my smoke and looked at her, and she continued, "The 20th century has been over for 14 years.  It's dead.  Or it should be."

"And would be", the curly-haired woman broke in, "If you would stop keeping the fucking thing alive.  Do you have any IDEA how much trouble this is causing?"

I wasn't paying attention to her.  I was looking past her, up the road.  Another group of dead soldiers, from both sides, lay strewn about the road...But as I watched, they started to stir.  One, then another, slowly rose to their feet.  The curly-haired woman saw them, and gunned the engine, slewing around them.  One reached toward her, and I shot it in the head, pitching it back in the snow.  We left the others behind, as they shambled futilely after us.

"JESUS CHRIST", she said, "Don't you see what you're fucking doing?"

"I know exactly what I'm doing", I said, "I am keeping the monsters of the last century nailed into their coffins.  What I don't know is WHY.  I also don't know why it's always fucking cold and fucking filthy and miserable.  Didn't they have wars in the tropics, too?"

"No", the other woman said, "That's not what's happening."

"So you say", I replied, "For all I know, you two are tied up in this mess.  Part of the problem, maybe."

"What?"

"Pull over", I said, pointing my carbine at the curly-haired woman, "You pull over, I get out, you fuck off."

"Of all the paranoid bullshit..."

"Just fucking pull over."  She did.  I got out of the jeep, but kept the blanket.  "Now fuck off back to wherever you Goddamn came from."

"You're an asshole."

"Yeah, I know.  Get lost."

The woman put the jeep back into gear and mashed the gas pedal, and drove off around a corner.  Gradually, the sound of her engine faded away.  I moved into a small copse of trees and waited for the zombies to catch up, wrapped in the blanket and counting how many rounds I had on me.

To be continued





Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 23, 2014, 04:31:39 am
Ooooh, nice!
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Idem on March 23, 2014, 05:13:42 am
This is great stuff, Roger.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 23, 2014, 05:16:03 am
This is great stuff, Roger.

Thanks.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on March 23, 2014, 06:14:41 am
ZOMBIES!!!  :fap:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on March 23, 2014, 01:37:37 pm
I can't see where this is going, but I can feel something BIG looming in the background.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Eater of Clowns on March 23, 2014, 01:54:29 pm
It seems like a switch, where the narrator was stuck in events for the first two parts but is now being hinted at causing them himself. Very interesting.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 01, 2014, 03:25:05 pm
Part 4

"So", the general said, "You've lost him."

The two women just nodded.

"Look", he continued, "I'm not going to yell and make threats and all that horseshit, because I know you're already doing your best.  But I need results.  We need him out of there, and I am under a great deal of pressure, here.  So what I want you to do is take a step back, breathe a bit, and figure this out.  Comments?"

"Yes sir", said the curly-haired woman, "We know that he was attacked by 'zombies' and disappeared, but we know he isn't dead, because otherwise the century would have slammed shut.  But if he's alive, we should be able to see him like a 100 watt bulb in a coal mine."

"I know all this", the general said, "I get briefed by the same egg heads who brief you on this temporal wossname. He's found a way to go to ground.  You're going to need to find out what he's done and how, then drag him back upstream."

The other woman, the one with powerful build, smiled and cracked her knuckles.  "That will be a pleasure.  Believe me.  The bastard pointed his rifle at us."

"Right, then, dismissed."

The two women, colonels both, walked down the hall from the general's office.

"So, Janet", Rita said, "How the hell does a live man hide among the dead?"

The curly-haired woman gave her a look.  "How does a man stay in the last century?  How do we go after him?  None of this makes any sense, and it makes physicists cry into their iPads.  All I know is that they're being methodical and it isn't working.  Something makes me think this is a right brain thing."

Somewhen else

I guess I almost looked like the mummy from that old Boris Karloff film.  I was wrapped entirely in what probably looked like linen...Dressed to the nines in the blindfolds of people executed by firing squads.  That would serve to hold the bastards off for a while, at least until I could figure out what to do next.

I knew those women weren't part of the problem, of course, but I had to get away from them.  They THOUGHT they knew what was going on, but they were wrong.  Dead wrong.  This century is unique.  It is dangerous, it is evil, and it is angry that we have escaped it, that humanity has left it behind, remaining more or less human in the process.

And, if it were allowed to do so, it would reach up into the 21st, and drag us all back forever.  It damn near happened, back in April of 2003...When 20C reached into 21C and had Rumsfeld and Cheney try to restart global war.

And that can't be allowed to happen.

Okay, okay concentrate on the task at hand.  This fucking ladder.  It feels like it goes on forever, and fuck me if I know what's at the bottom of it.

To be continued.

Note:  Names have been changed for variety's sake.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on April 01, 2014, 03:28:00 pm
Damn, that's good.  "This century is unique.  It is dangerous, it is evil, and it is angry that we have escaped it, that humanity has left it behind, remaining more or less human in the process."

Sentient time.  Spooky as fuck.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 01, 2014, 03:28:43 pm
Damn, that's good.  "This century is unique.  It is dangerous, it is evil, and it is angry that we have escaped it, that humanity has left it behind, remaining more or less human in the process."

Sentient time.  Spooky as fuck.

Close.  In fact, that's as good a working description as any.   :lulz:

Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 02, 2014, 04:14:56 am
The plot thickens...
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 02, 2014, 03:30:32 pm
Part 5

Rita and Janet walked out of the Pentagon, and into an unmarked delivery truck.  Janet got behind the wheel, and pulgged her GPS in.

"Why do you need that?", Rita asked, "We've been there how many times, now?"

"I don't know", Janet replied, "I get lost getting out of bed in the morning.  Getting across DC, I don't stand a chance."  She put the truck in gear and drove out of the parking lot, as Rita climbed out of her seat and into the back of the truck, where she pulled a uniform off a hanger.

"Aw, shit."

"What is it this time?", Janet asked.

"Goddamn WAC uniforms.  I hate these damn things."

"YOU hate 'em?  You've got the figure to get away with it.  Give me BDUs anyday."

"Quit talking yourself down.  Besides, these look terrible on anyone.", Rita groused, as she changed clothes. A few blocks later, they switched seats and Janet got dressed while Rita drove.

A few minutes later, they pulled up behind a boarded-up bar.  They went to the back door and knocked.  The door was answered by 2 marines in full kit.  They flashed their IDs, and walked in.  They stopped outside the lady's room door.

"Have I mentioned that I hate this shit?", Janet asked.

"You aren't the only one, sister.  This shit gives me the heebie jeebies, and I never get used to it."

"Well, no sense just standing here", Janet said, pushing the door open and walking in.

The bathroom itself was a disaster.  Chipped tile, a hopelessly stained set of commodes...Everything was a ruin, save for the mirror hanging on the wall above the sinks.  The two women moved in front of it, and stared at it.

The mirror began to fog, as always, and as always, dim figures could be glimpsed moving in that fog.  This was nothing new.

What was new was that a face suddenly clarified and stared right back at them.  The man was good looking, in a kind of Prussian way, with thinning blond hair and a pair of pale blue eyes that reflected nothing but cruelty.

"Good God", Rita said, "That's Reinhard Heydrich."

"Who?"

"The man that Goddamn Hitler called 'the man with the iron heart'."

"Well, ignore him.  We have work to do", Janet replied.

They touched the mirror and...

rotated

...Somewhere else.

Rita

Janet and I arrived in a cramped passageway in some sort of aircraft.  The engines were loud as hell, rattling our teeth.  It was very cold, even though the plane was obviously being heated to some degree.

We moved forward, and found ourselves in a bomb bay.  It contained a single bomb, an enormous thing with "Fat Man" written on the side.  My blood ran cold as I pointed at it.

"What's wrong?", Janet asked.  Couldn't fault her for it, I'm the historian here, she's the security.  Equally important skills, after all, and she doesn't ask me to fight.

"That bomb is what's wrong.  That's an atomic bomb.  It's the one that was dropped on Hiroshima."

"Is ABOUT to be dropped on Hiroshima", a familiar voice said from behind me, "In about 2 minutes."

To be continued.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on April 02, 2014, 03:48:37 pm
My only criticism is that it's too short.



Moar, plz.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 02, 2014, 04:00:09 pm
Part 6

Frank

The ladies were back.  This was becoming irritating.

The curly-haired one looked at me.  "How the hell did you get here?", she asked.

"I climbed down a ladder.  Don't ask me how these things work."

"Where is the crew of this plane?"

"There doesn't seem to be one, except the bombadier, up in the nose.  And he's flickering, so I advise you keep clear of him. I've come to associate that with some very bad things."

"Well, fine, but you have to get out of here.  You're coming with us."

I laughed, "No I'm not, lady.  Um, Colonel, I should say.  For one thing, I have no idea who you are.  For another thing, there's work to be done."  I grabbed a wrench and started turning the arming bolt on the bomb.

Just as I finished, though, both women drew pistols and pointed them at me.

"Yes, yes you are coming with us", said the muscular one...But just then, a low klaxon started sounding, and the bomb bay doors swung open.  We all grabbed onto whatever we could.  The curly-haired woman dropped her pistol, which slid across the floor and fell out of the bay.  The other woman kept ahold of hers, but she was in no position to aim it at me.

"30 seconds", said a voice over the intercom.  I could barely hear it through the howling wind; it was getting hard to breathe, and very, very cold.

I thumbed the intercom in front of me, and yelled, "BURN IT DOWN".

The clamps opened, and the bomb dropped.  The women were looking at me in horror.

"Relax", I yelled, as the bomb bay doors began cycling shut, "The city below us is empty."

"Then what the hell was the point of that?", the curly-haired woman yelled back.

"The forms have to be observed", I hollered back, "To keep this shit nailed down."

"What the hell are you even talking about?"

There was a blinding light behind us, and then a noise as big as the world.

"That's my cue, ladies", I said, and dropped feet first out of the almost-closed bomb bay.

Janet

"Jesus CHRIST!", Rita yelled as the bomb bay clicked shut, "He just fucking jumped!"

"Yeah, I saw that", I replied, "But we have bigger problems."  Indeed, we did.  The plane was beginning to drift into a starboard bank, obviously out of control.  I fished out the ridiculous compact that came with the uniform, and opened it.  Rita crowded up next to me, and we both stared into the mirror.  That Heydrich guy was there again, except we were looking at the back of his head.  But next to him was another man...Also in uniform, an antiquated blue US Army Air Corps uniform.

"Curtis LeMay", Rita said, but then...

rotate

To be continued.
 




 
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 02, 2014, 04:04:35 pm
For those of you haven't had the pleasure, I give you Curtis LeMay:

"I think there are many times when it would be most efficient to use nuclear weapons. However, the public opinion in this country and throughout the world throw up their hands in horror when you mention nuclear weapons, just because of the propaganda that's been fed to them."
- General Curtis LeMay
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 02, 2014, 04:06:46 pm
Also, there may appear to be 3 gigantic plot holes.  These are intentional, and will be made clear later.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on April 02, 2014, 04:12:28 pm
It seems that the male protagonist is, essentially, doing historical maintenance.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 02, 2014, 04:18:43 pm
It seems that the male protagonist is, essentially, doing historical maintenance.

Hadn't put that into words, even in my own head, but yes.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on April 02, 2014, 04:22:12 pm
By the time he gets to the Enola Gay, I picture his demeanor as "just going about his rounds."


If that makes any sense.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 02, 2014, 04:27:39 pm
By the time he gets to the Enola Gay, I picture his demeanor as "just going about his rounds."


If that makes any sense.

Well, if you look at chapter one, World War I was something to be tired of.  He's been doing his rounds for a very long time.  Subjectively speaking.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 02, 2014, 04:29:15 pm
The notion of his acts being maintenance runs chills up my spine. I'm scared.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 02, 2014, 04:34:35 pm
The notion of his acts being maintenance runs chills up my spine. I'm scared.

The last 2 chapters were from a nightmare I had last night, so you're not alone in this.   :lulz:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 02, 2014, 06:17:26 pm
Holy shit. I do not want this guy's job. There isn't enough alcohol in the world.  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 03, 2014, 09:25:46 pm
Dude, whoa. Awesome.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 03, 2014, 11:19:37 pm
I'm in a kind of weird place, these days.   :lol:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 07, 2014, 03:59:36 pm
Part 7

And while, dear readers, the ladies find out that sometimes you take horrible things back with you when you return from a trip (especially when you end your trip in such a hasty manner), let's all sit back and enjoy a lecture from Frank.  Or rather, from Frank's diary.

After World War II, and after the Korean War, after the HUAC committees and the senseless & mindless conformity of the 1950s, a wizard came to America.  This wizard raised walls of gold, a beautiful Camelot that captured the public's eye, and drove off Mordred (in the person of a trollish little man from Yorba Linda) for 10 years.

Everyone was looking at the handsome wizard and his beautiful wife, and at the castle of gold.  Nobody was looking anywhere else...Which in itself should have been an indication that something was very wrong in the realm.

Then one day in Dallas, the wizard was assassinated.  Without him, the spell rotted; the golden walls folded up in the night like a carnival that has good & urgent reasons to leave town, revealing the napalm-drenched, bomb-ruined ripe paddies of a foreign nation behind where those walls had stood.  And crowning himself in the wizard's stead was a pig-eyed monster from Texas, while 2,000,000 Vietnamese and 55,000 Americans lined up at the slaughterhouse chute.

What this ought to demonstrate is that you can't trust wizards, you can't believe in golden castles, and no matter how anyone tries to dress it up, the 20th century is and was one giant & bloody meathook.  Because all those dystopian writers like Kafka and Gibson were dead wrong about one thing: the meathook world isn't the future, it's the past.  And it's hungry.

We now return you to the ladies' story, which has gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Rita

We were, as always, uncermoniously dumped on the floor of the bar's bathroom, directly beneath the mirror.  Here's the part I don't get...They took the sinks out, but couldn't manage a gym pad for the floor?  Janet was out...Not unconsciously but badly stunned.  As my head spun, I heard the marines guarding the place howling, and they rushed in the room around me.

"No shooting!", I hollered, as I turned around.  But what I saw when I finished turning made my blood run cold.  Heydrich was halfway out of the mirror, from the waist up.  His eyes were now longer pale blue...Instead both eyes were entirely a sickly fish-belly white.  His skin was grey and his mouth was distorted in a bellow that sounded like an air raid siren, and which made that mouth about 5 times too large for his head.

The marines crowded around him, stabbing him with their bayonets, which they hadn't had time to install on their rifles. 

In short order, Heydrich stopped fighting, and began to rapidly decompose.  The marine officer took his men for a debriefing, and suggested that maybe we should talk to our own boss.  I dialed him on his cell phone.

"General Johnson."

"Sir, it's Rita and Janet.  We didn't catch our man...And we just had a Nazi try to follow us up out of 20C."

"Did he manage it?"

"No, the marines did him in."

"Well that's good news.  I do have some bad news, though, that dovetails with what you're telling me.  I need you back at the office right away."

"What's up?"

"Some very serious anomolies.  I can't discuss it over the phone.  Let's just say that your dead Nazi over there isn't alone."

To be continued




Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Hoopla on April 07, 2014, 04:18:20 pm
I just caught up on this... I love the idea of Nixon as Mordred. 

I want more.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 07, 2014, 04:23:37 pm
I just caught up on this... I love the idea of Nixon as Mordred. 

I want more.

I might get some more done today.  If not, then certainly tomorrow.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on April 07, 2014, 05:57:39 pm
Awesome chapter.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2014, 05:02:05 pm
 
Part 8

Denise

General Johnson turned on the monitor on the wall.  It showed a still shot from a security camera, with a man standing in the center of the shot.  The man was wearing a double-breasted suit and a fedora.  He had a horrified look on his face, his eyes wide, and his hands were on the side of his face like in the painting The Scream.

"I'd say this gentleman", the general began, "looks a little startled."

"And?", I asked.

"Well, watch this."  The general backed the footage up, and played it.  The space the man was standing in was empty at first, then there was a fog of some sort forming, looking almost pixilated.  Then the outline of the man appeared, and then solidified as the fog vanished.  The man did a comedic double-take, then his hands shot up to his face, and the footage paused exactly where it had been when we first viewed it.

"Between his clothing and his reaction, I'm thinking he's gonna be your problem", the general continued.

"Oh, shit", Rita said slowly, "He's leaked out of the past, hasn't he?"

"Why don't you ask him?"

"We have him?"

"The Chicago police have him.  They have him in an observation cell until we can get someone out to him."

"Can we just have him shipped here?", I asked, "We're kind of busy."

"I suppose that's reasonable", the general replied, "I'll see that it happens."

Frank's Diary

Now, after ten years had gone by, the troll returned from Yorba Linda.  He took the throne from the pig-eyed monster that had sat in it since the wizard died, and got to work.  It was no secret that the troll hated everyone in the realm; in fact, he'd said as much, many times.  But when he took over, he cleaned the air up, he cleaned the water up, he put in motion the things that would stop the horrible, pointless war that the realm was embroiled in. 

Nobody's really sure why the troll did these things, though some of the more iconoclastic suggested that maybe - just maybe - the troll wasn't a troll at all, he was just a man who felt a need to vocalize his feelings about how he'd been treated by Eisenhower and the public in general.  When he was Eisenhower's vice president, Ike laughed out loud when asked if the troll would run for office in 1960.  And the troll almost won anyway, but did in fact lose...And he lost with the awful knowledge that he would have been president, if only Ike hadn't laughed at him.  I think that would make anyone butthurt.  Then he did something dumb and inexplicable, and was marched out of office.

The funniest thing, and the point I'm trying to get to, is that maybe the troll wasn't part of the 20th century's plan.  Maybe he was something different entirely, and 20C took steps to remove him from the picture.  The troll wouldn't have indulged in the Vietnam war, for example.  He wasn't interested in cold war theatrics.  And knowing what I know of this hideous century, that meant he had to go.

To be continued.

Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Luna on April 08, 2014, 05:48:44 pm
 :eek:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on April 08, 2014, 06:21:53 pm
How. The fuck. Did you just make Nixon an honestly tragic figure?
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2014, 06:30:44 pm
How. The fuck. Did you just make Nixon an honestly tragic figure?

I always thought there was something screwy about the 1960s as advertized.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 08, 2014, 07:07:58 pm
Just read the whole thing (slow day at work).

Yowza. It hits me in kind of a weird way, since I was only around for the last 9.5 years of 20C, and I was a bit preoccupied by poking bugs with sticks. The 21st C was definitely handed to us with a sense of "Don't worry about all that, it's fine."

Then some guys blew a hole in the world with airplanes and all this stuff came leaking out.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 08, 2014, 07:11:26 pm
Just read the whole thing (slow day at work).

Yowza. It hits me in kind of a weird way, since I was only around for the last 9.5 years of 20C, and I was a bit preoccupied by poking bugs with sticks. The 21st C was definitely handed to us with a sense of "Don't worry about all that, it's fine."

Then some guys blew a hole in the world with airplanes and all this stuff came leaking out.

Yep.  20C will not lie quietly.  You have to drive a stake throught its heart, and nail the casket shut.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2014, 10:19:11 pm
How. The fuck. Did you just make Nixon an honestly tragic figure?

It's closer to the truth than the history we've been given.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2014, 10:27:02 pm
I have been reading all these books that were written in the late 20C and the first couple of years of the 21st, before people really grasped that it was over. What stands out is how scared people were. The psychology books have this edge of desperation, of a helpless craving to understand what was going wrong. And then it just sort of started receding. It's not GONE, of course, but it's so much better it's almost unfathomable.

The old folks can't quite grasp it yet, of course. They still think that the world is going to hell, that violence is on the rise, and that the world is a poorer place. And it is far from perfect, and we have our own brand-new problems in the new century. But it isn't the 20th century anymore.

I have started riding the bus again, for the first time in almost 15 years, and the thing that astonishes me is how much more polite everyone is. The driver to the passengers, the passengers to the driver, and to each other. Something changed when the 20th century died, and I don't know what it was but I'm glad.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 08, 2014, 10:30:39 pm
There is something about the newest generation that creeps me out.
They are mostly emotionally undamaged and I don't know how to handle that, both the idea and the reality leave me with some form of cultureshock.
Even the socially awkward unpopular kids are relatively sane and happy.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2014, 10:41:40 pm
There is something about the newest generation that creeps me out.
They are mostly emotionally undamaged and I don't know how to handle that, both the idea and the reality leave me with some form of cultureshock.
Even the socially awkward unpopular kids are relatively sane and happy.

Meh, there are still plenty of damaged ones. However, the ratio of damaged to undamaged is undeniably lower than it used to be, to the point where studies are now emerging that talk about how problematic it is that a large percentage of babies (@ 30% IIRC) aren't bonding properly with their parents, and what we can do about it.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 01:00:24 am
I have been reading all these books that were written in the late 20C and the first couple of years of the 21st, before people really grasped that it was over. What stands out is how scared people were. The psychology books have this edge of desperation, of a helpless craving to understand what was going wrong. And then it just sort of started receding. It's not GONE, of course, but it's so much better it's almost unfathomable.

The old folks can't quite grasp it yet, of course. They still think that the world is going to hell, that violence is on the rise, and that the world is a poorer place. And it is far from perfect, and we have our own brand-new problems in the new century. But it isn't the 20th century anymore.

I have started riding the bus again, for the first time in almost 15 years, and the thing that astonishes me is how much more polite everyone is. The driver to the passengers, the passengers to the driver, and to each other. Something changed when the 20th century died, and I don't know what it was but I'm glad.

Now we just have to tie off the bleeding stump.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 01:01:29 am

Even the socially awkward unpopular kids are relatively sane and happy.

That's because they aren't having the shit kicked out of them - with the adult world cheering it on - nearly as much.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 01:02:43 am
How. The fuck. Did you just make Nixon an honestly tragic figure?

It's closer to the truth than the history we've been given.

Nixon was a monster, but he was not a simple monster.  He was unbelievably complex.

And I'd rather have that complex monster than what we've had since.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 09, 2014, 03:10:04 am
Trainee Seminar Excerpt, Day 7

It is not a coincidence that the atomic bombs were dropped on Japan in 1945. This may sound like a stupid statement, given the amount of human effort that went into their development; of course it's not a coincidence. Nevertheless, bear with me.

Nineteen Forty-Five. Just about the middle of 20C, slightly to the left if you read it on a typical left-to-right number line.

Slightly to the left of center. Two bombs.

Thum-THUMP.

We did not, in spite of our own seeming best efforts, all die in 20C. But something else lived.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 03:12:12 am
Trainee Seminar Excerpt, Day 7

It is not a coincidence that the atomic bombs were dropped on Japan in 1945. This may sound like a stupid statement, given the amount of human effort that went into their development; of course it's not a coincidence. Nevertheless, bear with me.

Nineteen Forty-Five. Just about the middle of 20C, slightly to the left if you read it on a typical left-to-right number line.

Slightly to the left of center. Two bombs.

Thum-THUMP.

We did not, in spite of our own seeming best efforts, all die in 20C. But something else lived.

HOT DIGGITY!  That's fucking awesome!
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 03:12:33 am
But I already used that bit in Life During Wartime.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 09, 2014, 03:18:53 am
But I already used that bit in Life During Wartime.

I may have got it from there and forgot during my many and long hiatuses :lulz:


This notion of a period of history, or a zeitgeist, or whatever the hell 20C is, being a something that is active and malevolent, tickles my brain.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 03:21:37 am
But I already used that bit in Life During Wartime.

I may have got it from there and forgot during my many and long hiatuses :lulz:


This notion of a period of history, or a zeitgeist, or whatever the hell 20C is, being a something that is active and malevolent, tickles my brain.

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=34936.msg1291716#msg1291716

It's STILL a great idea.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 09, 2014, 03:29:33 am
I think I missed that the first time around; I didn't get that far into LDW. I spent too much time fucking off and now I've got all this catching up to do.

Love that chapter too, though. Even after all this time there's still something undeniably perverse about nuclear weapons.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 03:36:15 am
I think I missed that the first time around; I didn't get that far into LDW. I spent too much time fucking off and now I've got all this catching up to do.

Love that chapter too, though. Even after all this time there's still something undeniably perverse about nuclear weapons.

1.  I still haven't finished LDW.  I lost the plot, so to speak, so it's on hiatus while I write what's currently in my head.

2.  If I ever turn into Warren Ellis and write 40 chapters then stop two or three times in a row, I am counting on you to KILL ME IN COLD BLOOD.

3.  Nukes are creepy.  Really creepy.  Freddy Kruger wishes he was that creepy.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on April 09, 2014, 12:17:01 pm
Relevant creepiness from Uncle Bill and Material. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOYvcnal1Sk)
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 05:04:28 pm
Part 9

2 AM

Rita was back in university, in an empty lecture hall, with the sound of echoing footsteps approaching.  A moment later, a man walked into the hall, toward the podium.  He took his hat off, set his valaise on the table next to the podium, and began unpacking it. 

He placed a beer on the podium - draft beer, which had not spilled, somehow - and a pile of notes next to it.  He then picked a remote control off the podium and thumbed the controls.  The wall behind him lit up as he turned to face Rita. 

"Good evening.  Tonight's lecture will be on the structure of space.  While empty space has no mass, it does have structure", he began, as a picture of something resembling chain mail appeared on the wall, "The acclaimed physicist Dr Abhay Ashtekar proposed loops of space time, distorted by the wave front caused by the big bang.  Not coincidentally, these loops have a diameter precisely that of Plank's Constant when calculated for the smallest measurable mass."

"A school of thought believes that this series of interconnected loops is the scaffolding upon which the universe, all of space and time, is hung.  Therefore, it should not be possible to have two different centuries locally accessible to each other in the same universe.  However, this seems to be refuted by the refusal of the 20th century to fold up tents and leave town, if you'll forgive the expression."

The lecturer paused and took a long pull on his beer.  Ring.

"Another element of this dilemma which must be considered is this:  A human being appeared from the 20th century into this century.  If the other century is truly "out of time", then the amount of mass or information in the universe has changed.  This would of course violate conservation of energy."

He took another pull on his beer.  Ring ring.

"Now, we can accept that all of modern physics is wrong, or we can propose that the 20th century is in a separate universe and that a mass exchange is taking place of which we are not aware, OR we can assume that the 20th century is in fact a fugitive in THIS universe, occupying physical space and actually in the current time, but perhaps "bubbled off" from the rest of the universe, in the same manner that adding air to a soap bubble will sometimes cause a second bubble to form on the skin of the first.  This phenomena has been described as a "bubbleverse", appropriately enough.  And that's where things get interesting, and even a little hairy.  You see, a bubbleverse has a lifespan with respect to the rest of the universe which is in fact dictated by the amount of energy used to form that bubbleverse.  When that lifespan is reached, the bubbleverse will..."

RING RING RING

Rita sat upright in bed, fumbling for her cell phone.  "Hello?"

"Rita, this is Major Watkins.  I have been told by General Johnson that the anomoly...The person picked up in Chicago has arrived at the Baltimore facility.  You and Colonel Hurd are to go interview him at 0500.  There is apparently some sort of time limit.  I do not know any details about this limit."

"Thank you, Major."  Rita broke the connection and sat up in bed, as the memories of the dream faded, leaving her feeling as if something important were slipping through her grasp.

To be continued.

   
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on April 09, 2014, 05:58:24 pm
Oh shit.  Things are getting hairy, on a Universal scale.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 07:25:04 pm
Oh shit.  Things are getting hairy, on a Universal scale.

So you just said.   :lulz:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on April 09, 2014, 07:30:55 pm
The old folks can't quite grasp it yet, of course. They still think that the world is going to hell, that violence is on the rise, and that the world is a poorer place. And it is far from perfect, and we have our own brand-new problems in the new century. But it isn't the 20th century anymore.

I don't consider myself "the old folks" yet but I'm not quite dumb enough not to chalk a large chunk of that to denial. I only just started to cotton on very recently that I wasn't still living in perpetual end times. The cold war became a farce. Then the wall came down and it was easy to just look at the whole thing as some kind of sick fucking joke. Easy to forget that maniacs were pointing end of the world launchers at each other and screaming and hooting and waving their arms about, real close to the red buttons.

At some point in the proceedings the media cottoned on to the fact that the narrative was pulling in viewers and they just stuck to the story. I knew the story was a lie, long time before the planes hit the skyscrapers but I was still under the impression shit was getting worse. Somewhere along the lines they started wiping out the lowest forms of human wretchedness and cut waaaay back on the wanton murderfests and I missed it.  :eek:

Awesome series btw. Dunno if I've said that yet.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 07:33:07 pm


Awesome series btw. Dunno if I've said that yet.

Thanks.  It was going to be a 5 chapter one-off, but I started having fun with the idea.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Pæs on April 09, 2014, 08:57:42 pm
Oh shit.  Things are getting hairy, on a Universal scale.

So you just said.   :lulz:
:lulz:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 09, 2014, 09:05:05 pm


Awesome series btw. Dunno if I've said that yet.

Thanks.  It was going to be a 5 chapter one-off, but I started having fun with the idea.
I noticed and it made me very happy. Your writing shows that you are having fun and it is making it mch more enjoyable.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 09:06:27 pm


Awesome series btw. Dunno if I've said that yet.

Thanks.  It was going to be a 5 chapter one-off, but I started having fun with the idea.
I noticed and it made me very happy. Your writing shows that you are having fun and it is making it mch more enjoyable.

I have a very deep horror and loathing concerning the 20th century.  Writing a story about nailing it into its coffin has really been cathartic.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2014, 10:05:06 pm


Awesome series btw. Dunno if I've said that yet.

Thanks.  It was going to be a 5 chapter one-off, but I started having fun with the idea.
I noticed and it made me very happy. Your writing shows that you are having fun and it is making it mch more enjoyable.

I have a very deep horror and loathing concerning the 20th century.  Writing a story about nailing it into its coffin has really been cathartic.

I really like it.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2014, 10:08:57 pm
The old folks can't quite grasp it yet, of course. They still think that the world is going to hell, that violence is on the rise, and that the world is a poorer place. And it is far from perfect, and we have our own brand-new problems in the new century. But it isn't the 20th century anymore.

I don't consider myself "the old folks" yet but I'm not quite dumb enough not to chalk a large chunk of that to denial. I only just started to cotton on very recently that I wasn't still living in perpetual end times. The cold war became a farce. Then the wall came down and it was easy to just look at the whole thing as some kind of sick fucking joke. Easy to forget that maniacs were pointing end of the world launchers at each other and screaming and hooting and waving their arms about, real close to the red buttons.

At some point in the proceedings the media cottoned on to the fact that the narrative was pulling in viewers and they just stuck to the story. I knew the story was a lie, long time before the planes hit the skyscrapers but I was still under the impression shit was getting worse. Somewhere along the lines they started wiping out the lowest forms of human wretchedness and cut waaaay back on the wanton murderfests and I missed it.  :eek:

Awesome series btw. Dunno if I've said that yet.

They really dig deep to try to maintain the fear, in the hope that it will distract us from the concentration of power. It's not really working anymore, though.

And of course there's the new threat that's lurking; the one that the folks with most of the money would really rather we continue knowing as little about as possible, which is that we have polluted ourselves into a really shitty corner and it's way, WAY worse than most people think.  :lol:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 10:34:32 pm
[
And of course there's the new threat that's lurking; the one that the folks with most of the money would really rather we continue knowing as little about as possible, which is that we have polluted ourselves into a really shitty corner and it's way, WAY worse than most people think.  :lol:

If that's the case, though, there's no SENSE worrying. 

If this crazy-ass deff cult of ours has any value at all, it should be some manner of discouraging fear.  Not sure if I'm saying that right.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 09, 2014, 10:35:56 pm


Awesome series btw. Dunno if I've said that yet.

Thanks.  It was going to be a 5 chapter one-off, but I started having fun with the idea.
I noticed and it made me very happy. Your writing shows that you are having fun and it is making it mch more enjoyable.

I have a very deep horror and loathing concerning the 20th century.  Writing a story about nailing it into its coffin has really been cathartic.

I really like it.

Thanks.  I'm really having difficulty keeping it from turning into some misery-guts shit (exactly the opposite of what I want), so the challenge has been a lot of fun.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 11, 2014, 04:28:34 pm
Part 10

Janet

I had been called to General Johnson's office.  Normally, you get called to a general's office, you worry.  Not so much with this one, though.  The public has this image of generals as buffoons or comic book villains.  General Johnson was neither...He was a smart guy who seemed to be genuinely interested in his work, and viewed the unknown as curious, not something to smash and burn.

When I walked into his office, he was buckling his pistol belt on.

"Are we going somewhere", I asked.

"Yes.  Rita is on her way to talk to the poor bastard who popped into this century.  You and I are going to have a word with our lost lamb."

"Very well.  Last I checked, he had managed to avoid our sensors again.  That guy can be creepy as hell.  You know how he did it last time?"

"That was the blindfolds thing, right?"

"Yeah.  That's pretty twisted", I said, as I took my very non-regulation revolver out of its holster and checked the action, while we walked out of the General's office and toward the elevators.

"Yes, but it's also fascinating.  By the way, why do you carry that antique revolver around with you, instead of an automatic or an assault rifle?"

"Because if I wanted something that blows its whole load in 30 seconds, I'd have stayed married."

The General barked laughter and shook his head, as we got on the elevator.  "Suit yourself."

Rita

Rita got into her government-issue sedan and pulled out of her driveway.  As she headed for the freeway, she turned on the radio to a pop channel.  Some generic band was singing a generic song.  As she got on the on-ramp, the song ended, and the DJ came on.

"That was Undanceable Guitar Misery, with their newest hit, The Woes of the World Make Me Impotent.  But now we have a special request for a 'Colonel Rita', from an old friend."

Rita did a perfect double take at the radio, but what followed wasn't a song.  It was a very static-y voice speaking in pedantic tones.

"Now, to form a bubbleverse, as has already been mentioned, takes a great deal of energy.  Consider, though, how many nuclear weapons were set off in the second half of the 20th century.  Also, Schroedinger's work has been interpreted as some to say that consciousness may have a direct influence on the universe itself...SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

The blast of feedback ended, and different man started talking, in a French accent.

"We have your friend, Colonel.  Soon we'll have your partner and your precious General."

"What the actual FUCK", Rita said, narrowly missing another car on the highway.

"Such language from a lady and an officer", the voice said with a laugh, "Bring your prisoner back to our time, or we shall kill your friends."

At that point, the voice cut out, and the song Funeral for a Friend picked up halfway through.

Rita shivered, and drove towards Baltimore.

To be continued
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 11, 2014, 04:43:29 pm
 :eek:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on April 11, 2014, 05:01:23 pm
History has sentience, and you're postulating an observer-created universe?

You, sir, have gone too far.

 :wink:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 11, 2014, 05:09:28 pm
History has sentience, and you're postulating an observer-created universe?

You, sir, have gone too far.

 :wink:

*I* didn't postulate ANYTHING.  YOU did.   :lulz:

And history SEEMS to have sentience and the observer-created universe isn't actually a universe, strictly speaking.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Luna on April 11, 2014, 05:33:45 pm
 :lol:

So, I find myself speculating...

How WOULD one deal with a misbehaving century?  Imprisonment?  Execution?  Either would pose some interesting difficulties...
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 12, 2014, 02:32:14 am
 :lulz: The band.

I like that you're throwing a little Baltimore in. I don't know why I like it, but I do.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2014, 05:34:35 am
:lulz: The band.

I like that you're throwing a little Baltimore in. I don't know why I like it, but I do.

1.  Yeah.  I've kind of had it up to here with the local pop channel.   :lulz:

2.  That's where the navy brig is that they keep "persons of interest".
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 12, 2014, 05:35:07 am
:lol:

So, I find myself speculating...

How WOULD one deal with a misbehaving century?  Imprisonment?  Execution?  Either would pose some interesting difficulties...

Well, that will become self-evident before too long.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 12, 2014, 04:44:46 pm
:lulz: The band.

I like that you're throwing a little Baltimore in. I don't know why I like it, but I do.

1.  Yeah.  I've kind of had it up to here with the local pop channel.   :lulz:

2.  That's where the navy brig is that they keep "persons of interest".

It's also where they keep my accountant.  :lol:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on April 14, 2014, 06:15:09 am
Part 10

"Now, to form a bubbleverse, as has already been mentioned, takes a great deal of energy.  Consider, though, how many nuclear weapons were set off in the second half of the 20th century.  Also, Schroedinger's work has been interpreted as some to say that consciousness may have a direct influence on the universe itself...SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"



I love this bit.

Great story, btw, just caught it today. Looking forward to more.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 15, 2014, 12:17:56 am
Caught up on this, what a way to return to PD!
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 15, 2014, 03:36:05 pm
More will be added tomorrow.  I am too physically ill to concentrate on this today, thanks to HORRORBAG.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 16, 2014, 04:25:44 pm
Still HORRORBAG.

I have the attention span of a deranged cat today, because GASTRODEATH.

It's all written in my head, but HORRORBAG.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 17, 2014, 08:20:07 pm
Get better.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 17, 2014, 08:56:10 pm
Get better.

I can kinda bend at the waist today.

I shall write tonight, I think.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Luna on April 18, 2014, 03:04:45 am
Get better.

I can kinda bend at the waist today.

I shall write tonight, I think.

Glad you're at least a little better. 
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2014, 03:52:13 pm
Part 11

Frank

There is no sound so awful, so dread-inspiring, as an air raid siren.  Except for dozens of air raid sirens.  I staggered out of the tunnel right into the middle of The Blitz, as the aforementioned sirens wailed out London's terror to an absentee God.  Searchlights stabbed the sky, and the drum of Bofors anti-aircraft guns firing as fast as their loaders could jerk shells into the chute.

Here and there, the multiple thuds of bomb strings landing.  On the East end, from the looks of it...The poor bastards over there took it in the shorts 2 nights out of every three.   I hustled down the street, looking for a tube entrance.  Any port in a storm, as April showers bring May mass casualties, and I didn't plan on being one of them.

What I found instead was a building with all the lights on, and piss-poor blackout curtains.  It appeared to be a pub of some kind.  Curiousity overcoming fear, I ran through the door, into a bog-standard pub, with maybe a half-dozen people in it. 

Something didn't look right.  Their appearance, there was something off about it.  Shrugging, I went to the bar and ordered a lager.  As I sipped at it, I looked more closely at the people in the room.  Something about their clothes...

...Then a lady halfway down the bar flickered, like those two freaks back in the trenches.  I drew my pistols, and fired one round through the ceiling.

"Have I got everyone's attention?"

General Johnson

Janet and I appeared in a cramped living room.  Air raid sirens were howling somewhere nearby, alongside all the other noises of a city being destroyed.  Across the room, there was an open door, as if someone had left in a big hurry.  Makes sense, in an air raid.

We were crossing the room to look for a staircase, when a gunshot rang out directly beneath us, and a bullet flew through the floor directly in front of me.  Plaster dust drifted down from the roof.  Janet and I both drew our pistols and kept going.  Through the door, there was in fact a staircase leading down.

We quietly went down the stairs, and through a doorway into what was obviously the common room of a pub.  A few people were sitting, looking at our quarry, who was still holding a smoking pistol and looking at us with an exasperated expression.  As I took in the scene, something bothered me.  I couldn't figure it out...But Janet could.

"These people, General...They're all wearing 21st century clothing."

The people stopped looking at Frank, and looked at us, rather sheepishly.  One small man at a table flickered.

Rita

Having gone through all the usual bullshit, I was taken to an interrogation room.  Some Captain was looking into the room through the one-way glass.  I stepped up beside him, and looked in.  A man in a suit that was out of style before World War II sat at a table, with a terrified expression on his face.  He was continually muttering and gnawing at his fingernails.

"What do we have here, Captain?"

"This is your anomaly, Ma'am.  We haven't spoken to him or responded in any way, as per orders."

"Very well.  Start recording", I said, and walked through the door into the room proper.  The man looked up at me, and the fear in his eyes tripled.

"Relax, sir, I'm not going to harm you."

He looked at me and snorted out bitter laughter.  "I know that.  But the fact that you, a woman, are a senior officer" - he indicated my rank tabs - "means that I am a dead man."

"I don't follow.  You, sir, are from our past.  This may be a little hard to understand, but..."

"No, I'm not."

"Not what?"

"I am not from the 20th century.  I was hiding there."

"Hiding from WHAT?"

"What year is it?"

"2014", I replied, a little annoyed...My clever You're in the FUTUUUUURE speech was wrecked, and I'd been having fun formulating it.

"Impossible", the man replied.

"Why is that impossible?", I asked, trying to be patient.

"Because the human race was destroyed in 2002."

To be continued.



Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on April 23, 2014, 04:11:10 pm
Ha! The multiverse strikes again!


Whoops. Buried the post. Feel free to delete this.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2014, 04:13:19 pm
Ha! The multiverse strikes again!


Whoops. Buried the post. Feel free to delete this.

No, it's all good.  And yeah, what if multiverses were inimical to each other?
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on April 23, 2014, 05:00:55 pm
Ha! The multiverse strikes again!


Whoops. Buried the post. Feel free to delete this.

No, it's all good.  And yeah, what if multiverses were inimical to each other?

If there's enough of them, then it's bound to be happening somewhere  :fap:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2014, 05:42:06 pm
What if WE'RE the universe that got it right?

Oh, and 20C says hello.

(http://www.distractify.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads//2014/04/awesome-old-photography-tyme-3-620x.jpg)

That was a thing.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Luna on April 23, 2014, 05:44:20 pm
What if WE'RE the universe that got it right?

Oh, and 20C says hello.

(http://www.distractify.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads//2014/04/awesome-old-photography-tyme-3-620x.jpg)

That was a thing.

Imma have nightmares about those baby suits.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2014, 05:46:32 pm
What if WE'RE the universe that got it right?

Oh, and 20C says hello.

(http://www.distractify.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads//2014/04/awesome-old-photography-tyme-3-620x.jpg)

That was a thing.

Imma have nightmares about those baby suits.

It's actually a pretty neat solution.  The nightmare is why that sort of engineering was required.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on April 23, 2014, 06:52:49 pm
There needs to be a horror movie made, where the protagonists are hunted by those things and it needs to be made NOW!
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 23, 2014, 08:42:56 pm
Very happy to see this rolling again. Good stuff, Roger.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 23, 2014, 11:02:04 pm
That one gave me fuckin' full-body chills, Roger. Seriously. You know when you get the heebie-jeebies so bad your eyes start to water? That.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 23, 2014, 11:10:36 pm
That one gave me fuckin' full-body chills, Roger. Seriously. You know when you get the heebie-jeebies so bad your eyes start to water? That.

Thanks.  Like I said, the weirdest shit comes out of my head AFTER I have one of my moments.   :lulz:
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 24, 2014, 05:32:51 am
Fucking hell, Roger.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 24, 2014, 06:08:11 am
FUuuuccckk!

Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on July 14, 2017, 06:14:32 am
Going to finish this, I think.
Title: Re: The Pit, 5 parts
Post by: LMNO on July 14, 2017, 01:02:06 pm
Going to finish this, I think.

:banana: