Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Literate Chaotic => Topic started by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on April 04, 2015, 05:45:47 pm

Title: Five word horror
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on April 04, 2015, 05:45:47 pm
Inspired by this (http://bbs.boingboing.net/t/5-word-scary-stories-its-alive/40201/).

Here's a few to start off with:

The anesthesia didn't quite work.
Strange shapes blackened the sky.
Yesterday the shadow grew again.
Below, rows of sharp teeth.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Demolition Squid on April 04, 2015, 06:11:05 pm
They don't remember the difference.
It is inside the house.
The walls keep changing color.
There wasn't time to scream.

And of course, the classic.

Mark all posts as read.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 04, 2015, 06:21:20 pm
Mark all posts as read.

 :aaa:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 04, 2015, 06:54:03 pm
She had too many teeth.
That night, I wasn't alone.
A voice said, you die.
He infected me with maggots.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 04, 2015, 07:23:44 pm
The scab came off again.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 04, 2015, 11:29:48 pm
And then, they were Nigeled.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 05, 2015, 03:06:52 am
Didn't I lock this door?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 05, 2015, 07:25:56 am
She said, I got this.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Vanadium Gryllz on April 05, 2015, 08:45:54 am
Time slowed to a stop.

There shouldn't be visitors tonight.

Sudden realisation: we are lost.

Sudden realisation: all is lost.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Pæs on April 05, 2015, 09:55:32 am
Describe Discordianism in one sentence.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 05, 2015, 12:38:07 pm
Only striped snakes are poisonous.

For Sale: Baby clothes, Unused.

5th Wallmart opening near you.

Politicians fully understand the consequences.

Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 05, 2015, 02:39:53 pm
They know, they don't care.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 05, 2015, 03:44:48 pm
We thought they were dead.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on April 05, 2015, 04:28:33 pm
But they were dead, yesterday...
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 05, 2015, 07:04:56 pm
I can't feel my legs.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 05, 2015, 07:19:21 pm
I have these horrible urges.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 05, 2015, 08:31:38 pm
I'm not usually like this.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on April 05, 2015, 09:38:05 pm
I usually have fewer legs.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 05, 2015, 10:55:51 pm
I usually have fewer legs.
Oh nice one!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 05, 2015, 11:17:28 pm
Her eyes widened in anticipation.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 06, 2015, 02:28:56 am
I can't find the baby.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 06, 2015, 04:24:50 am
I know what I'm doing
Dok Howl never really does
Dongs flying into the street
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2015, 05:04:03 am
 :lulz:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 06, 2015, 05:34:59 am
Carpal tunnel; sex life over.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Demolition Squid on April 06, 2015, 07:46:41 am
Carpal tunnel; sex life over.

:spittake:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Meunster on April 07, 2015, 01:49:19 pm
She had too many teeth.
That night, I wasn't alone.
A voice said, you die.
He infected me with maggots.

sounds more like an eldritch love story.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 07, 2015, 02:09:23 pm
She had too many teeth.
That night, I wasn't alone.
A voice said, you die.
He infected me with maggots.

sounds more like an eldritch love story.

 :lulz:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 07, 2015, 02:18:08 pm
This isn't my real face.
I'm sure it'll stop that.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on April 08, 2015, 06:24:30 am
I love the Food Babe.
All of them were reelected.
Edward Snowden, who is that?
I think those are teeth.
This action cannot be undone.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 08, 2015, 11:59:45 am
She had too many teeth.
That night, I wasn't alone.
A voice said, you die.
He infected me with maggots.

sounds more like an eldritch love story.

HA!  :lulz:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 08, 2015, 01:07:21 pm
Pool is on the Roof.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 08, 2015, 01:14:41 pm
Airlock broke, screaming.

No sound.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 08, 2015, 01:19:57 pm
A five word horror story for the SJW niche market:

"It is just a suffix."
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 08, 2015, 02:11:13 pm
The sun didn't rise today.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 08, 2015, 03:08:07 pm
The sun didn't rise today.

Norway lost its sun license.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 08, 2015, 03:10:14 pm
And then, Tucson got jealous...
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2015, 05:46:11 pm
It had been an eye.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 08, 2015, 06:59:45 pm
The sun didn't rise today.

Norway lost its sun license.

In other news, Tuscons spreads.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 08, 2015, 07:26:05 pm
That came outta my butt.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 08, 2015, 07:46:58 pm
That came outta my butt.

Howl's heading to the bathroom.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 08, 2015, 07:59:53 pm
Portland is clean and nice.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 08, 2015, 08:01:50 pm
No one sees colour here.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 08, 2015, 09:07:00 pm
I know you'll appreciate this.

Just had this crazy idea.

Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 08, 2015, 09:09:09 pm
This won't hurt a bit
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 08, 2015, 09:15:00 pm
Could it be possible that
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 08, 2015, 09:40:19 pm
You've got a purdy mouf.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 09, 2015, 03:29:20 am
If that's not your hand...
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 09, 2015, 03:59:39 am
Hey guys I was thinking...
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 09, 2015, 09:46:42 am
You  know, the things we find horrible say a lot about us.
I wonder how others would react to these flash fiction stories?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 09, 2015, 09:29:21 pm
Rush Limbaugh elected to office
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 10, 2015, 12:02:00 am
You  know, the things we find horrible say a lot about us.
I wonder how others would react to these flash fiction stories?

A huge part of the reason these work is because of the context provided by the thread itself, allowing our imaginations to fill in why they're horrifying.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on April 10, 2015, 12:16:46 am
You  know, the things we find horrible say a lot about us.
I wonder how others would react to these flash fiction stories?

A huge part of the reason these work is because of the context provided by the thread itself, allowing our imaginations to fill in why they're horrifying.

Also, in part because of the community's common touch-stones. You'll note that, on average, the themes in the boingboing version of this thread are a *lot* different -- particularly the joke ones. (And on the scale of things, PD isn't all that much different from boingboing. Try doing the same thread on a Ron Paul board, or on the TOE forums, where the cultural milleiu is skewed in very different ways.)
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 10, 2015, 06:12:47 am
You  know, the things we find horrible say a lot about us.
I wonder how others would react to these flash fiction stories?

A huge part of the reason these work is because of the context provided by the thread itself, allowing our imaginations to fill in why they're horrifying.

Also, in part because of the community's common touch-stones. You'll note that, on average, the themes in the boingboing version of this thread are a *lot* different -- particularly the joke ones. (And on the scale of things, PD isn't all that much different from boingboing. Try doing the same thread on a Ron Paul board, or on the TOE forums, where the cultural milleiu is skewed in very different ways.)
That sounds like an interesting sociological experiment.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 10, 2015, 07:07:30 am
It was an insular community
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 10, 2015, 07:09:45 am
Multiple brides of Mormon Frankenstein

Hitler's brain in Stalin's body

EDIT:

A jacuzzi filled with teeth

Erotic use of severed leg

sewing anus shut prevents accidents

Icepick lobotomies make a comeback
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 10, 2015, 07:18:36 am
It all started pleasantly enough.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 10, 2015, 07:34:18 am
An excised appendix becomes zombified

It's curable, for a price...

The tumor fills the building

CEO kills and eats employees

Help! My johnson fell off!

The body was 90% pus
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Vanadium Gryllz on April 10, 2015, 08:46:55 am
What does this button do?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 10, 2015, 09:26:29 am
 
What does this button do?
:lol:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 10, 2015, 11:09:08 am
You stick around here now

Gentlemen, lend me your ears
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 10, 2015, 11:55:29 am
It all started pleasantly enough.

For a second there, I thought you were referencing this thread.

Then again....


Oh, and:

"...But there was no face..."
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 10, 2015, 12:53:06 pm
There's something outside the window
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 10, 2015, 01:23:11 pm
There's something outside the window
There's something inside the window.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 10, 2015, 01:41:56 pm
It all started pleasantly enough.  Yesterday, the shadow grew again.  Strange shapes blackened the sky.  The walls keep changing color.  There’s something outside the window.  Her eyes widened in anticipation.  It was an insular community.  We thought they were dead.  But they were dead, yesterday…  There wasn’t time to scream. 

The sun didn’t rise today.  No one sees color here.  They don’t remember the difference.  It is inside the house.  That night, I wasn’t alone.  A voice said, “You die”. There shouldn’t be visitors tonight.  Didn’t I lock this door?

“I’m not usually like this.  I can’t feel my legs.” 

She said, “I got this.”  She had too many teeth.  Time slowed to a stop.  “This won’t hurt a bit.”  The anesthesia didn’t quite work.  The scab came off again.  It had been an eye.  Below, rows of sharp teeth.  I think those are teeth.  “It’s curable, for a price.”

“I can’t find the baby.  I have these horrible urges.” 

They know, they just don’t care.”

“This isn’t my real face.” 

But there was no face…
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 10, 2015, 01:56:17 pm
It all started pleasantly enough.  Yesterday, the shadow grew again.  Strange shapes blackened the sky.  The walls keep changing color.  There’s something outside the window.  Her eyes widened in anticipation.  It was an insular community.  We thought they were dead.  But they were dead, yesterday…  There wasn’t time to scream. 

The sun didn’t rise today.  No one sees color here.  They don’t remember the difference.  It is inside the house.  That night, I wasn’t alone.  A voice said, “You die”. There shouldn’t be visitors tonight.  Didn’t I lock this door?

“I’m not usually like this.  I can’t feel my legs.” 

She said, “I got this.”  She had too many teeth.  Time slowed to a stop.  “This won’t hurt a bit.”  The anesthesia didn’t quite work.  The scab came off again.  It had been an eye.  Below, rows of sharp teeth.  I think those are teeth.  “It’s curable, for a price.”

“I can’t find the baby.  I have these horrible urges.” 

They know, they just don’t care.”

“This isn’t my real face.” 

But there was no face…


Awesome! The quick sentences and their disjointed but still coherent nature evoke panic almost perfectly.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 10, 2015, 02:13:31 pm
I think I can make some improvements to the dialogue section.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 10, 2015, 02:58:37 pm
That is a fantastic compilation!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 10, 2015, 03:08:55 pm
I don't make content, I make content better.


-motto of the recording engineer.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 10, 2015, 05:53:44 pm
Ok, I think this helps.




It all started pleasantly enough.  Yesterday, the shadow grew again.  Strange shapes blackened the sky.  The walls kept changing color.  There’s something outside the window.  Her eyes widened in anticipation.  It was an insular community.  We thought they were dead.  But they were dead, yesterday…  There wasn’t time to scream. 

The sun didn’t rise today.  No one sees color here.  They don’t remember the difference.  It is inside the house.  That night, I wasn’t alone.  A voice said, “You die”. There shouldn’t be visitors tonight.  Didn’t I lock this door?

I spoke into the silence.  “I’m not usually like this.  I can’t feel my legs.” 

She said, “I got this.”  She had too many teeth.  Time slowed to a stop.  “This won’t hurt a bit.”  The anesthesia didn’t quite work.  The scab came off again.  It had been an eye.  Below, rows of sharp teeth.  I think those are teeth.  “It’s curable, for a price.”

My voice seemed far away.  “I can’t find the baby.  I have these horrible urges.” 

“They know, they just don’t care.”  Her eyes followed the wound.  “This isn’t my real face.” 

But there was no face…
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 10, 2015, 06:03:15 pm
I approve of this story!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 10, 2015, 06:18:48 pm
Ugh.  Need to change tenses in the first paragraph.  BRB.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on April 10, 2015, 08:50:30 pm
Filling the Jacuzzi, squirming teeth.
Things behind his eyes laughed.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 10, 2015, 09:21:59 pm
My camera picked up something.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on April 10, 2015, 10:19:14 pm
Ok, I think this helps.




It all started pleasantly enough.  Yesterday, the shadow grew again.  Strange shapes blackened the sky.  The walls kept changing color.  There’s something outside the window.  Her eyes widened in anticipation.  It was an insular community.  We thought they were dead.  But they were dead, yesterday…  There wasn’t time to scream. 

The sun didn’t rise today.  No one sees color here.  They don’t remember the difference.  It is inside the house.  That night, I wasn’t alone.  A voice said, “You die”. There shouldn’t be visitors tonight.  Didn’t I lock this door?

I spoke into the silence.  “I’m not usually like this.  I can’t feel my legs.” 

She said, “I got this.”  She had too many teeth.  Time slowed to a stop.  “This won’t hurt a bit.”  The anesthesia didn’t quite work.  The scab came off again.  It had been an eye.  Below, rows of sharp teeth.  I think those are teeth.  “It’s curable, for a price.”

My voice seemed far away.  “I can’t find the baby.  I have these horrible urges.” 

“They know, they just don’t care.”  Her eyes followed the wound.  “This isn’t my real face.” 

But there was no face…


:mittens:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 11, 2015, 01:53:37 am
Of course there's the well known modern classics of five word horror...

"No. You are the demons"
Then John was a zombie.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on April 11, 2015, 04:47:55 am
The head transplant failed horribly.
The head lived for weeks.
There was so much blood.
The surgeon checked himself in.
He couldn't stop hearing it.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 11, 2015, 11:09:17 am
Ok, I think this helps.




It all started pleasantly enough.  Yesterday, the shadow grew again.  Strange shapes blackened the sky.  The walls kept changing color.  There’s something outside the window.  Her eyes widened in anticipation.  It was an insular community.  We thought they were dead.  But they were dead, yesterday…  There wasn’t time to scream. 

The sun didn’t rise today.  No one sees color here.  They don’t remember the difference.  It is inside the house.  That night, I wasn’t alone.  A voice said, “You die”. There shouldn’t be visitors tonight.  Didn’t I lock this door?

I spoke into the silence.  “I’m not usually like this.  I can’t feel my legs.” 

She said, “I got this.”  She had too many teeth.  Time slowed to a stop.  “This won’t hurt a bit.”  The anesthesia didn’t quite work.  The scab came off again.  It had been an eye.  Below, rows of sharp teeth.  I think those are teeth.  “It’s curable, for a price.”

My voice seemed far away.  “I can’t find the baby.  I have these horrible urges.” 

“They know, they just don’t care.”  Her eyes followed the wound.  “This isn’t my real face.” 

But there was no face…


Shit. That was awesome!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 11, 2015, 04:44:14 pm
My guts are spilling out
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 11, 2015, 08:28:52 pm
God made me do it.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 11, 2015, 09:27:25 pm
Blinking eye of hairy teeth
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 12, 2015, 04:08:32 am
Reversed anus sucks things in

The 'eat knocked-out teeth' diet

No more comedies, only dramas

He missed his own funeral

Pureed baby protein health shake

They snorted my grandma's ashes

Molten lead enema and douche

Eyes inserted into the ears

Needles inserted into the eyes

Absolutely nothing outside this room

It's like you never existed

Smoke barber hair every day

Why is my body hollow?

No universe outside the house

We're dust in the wind

Plague sure made a comeback

The south shall rise again

You could all die tomorrow

He had ears for eyes

I ate my own corpse
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 12, 2015, 04:49:47 am
I appreciate the effort, but I'm getting the feeling the intent of this thread has severely shifted.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 12, 2015, 05:53:46 am
Nothing can stop me now.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 12, 2015, 08:15:33 am
Lava lamp filled with meat

Designer baby skin handbag

handbag filled with real hands

potholes filled up with blood

They razored off my scrotum

Hands switched out with feet

They drowned in human blood

chainsaw shoved up the ass

Mother bird regurgitates corpse pieces

savory delicious beef-fed beef

Vomit until your stomach prolapses

What happened to the sun!?

Increasing influence of the MPAA

They executed him two times

No, it hasn't been photoshopped

I only eat human toes

Snowman comes alive; rapes kids

I'm wearing your grandma's skin

Sports bottle filled with pus

Asphyxiated by unusually extreme flatulence

Carpooling with some stolen corpses

Eat shit and poop food

The universe is just doomed

Nothing ever really mattered anyway

He's posessed by Nixon's ghost

They made him eat himself
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 12, 2015, 02:38:00 pm
The wrong sun came up.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Meunster on April 12, 2015, 04:32:48 pm
I still do love you.
He is nicer to me
I will never forget you
I just want to experiment
I think it is best
You should try experimentation too.
It was only two weeks
I never  loved him much
Can we get back together?
You do not deserve me
Your trust is completely gone?
How can you forgive me?
This all makes no sense
I didn't even kiss him
Oh, you did much more
The sex was much better?
But you prefer my personality?
I guess that is fair.
Please tell me, together forever?

Accepted back, but not welcomed.

Atleast we are back together
We both have some regrets
Glad we can move on
I hope we grow closer

This will take some time
I hope we fix it.


Not all terrors are eldritch
I fucked up the prompt
 



Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 12, 2015, 04:54:59 pm
The wrong sun came up.

oh, that's GOOD.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: MMIX on April 12, 2015, 07:44:11 pm
Smiling, LMNO licked his lips.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 13, 2015, 02:30:22 am
I shouldn't have three arms

Why won't my eyes open

Lamprey mouth for an asshole

I turned into a republican

Geological stratum made of flesh

I forgot about the test!

Curse of the shrinking testes

Partially absorbed deformed fetal twin

Wednesday's the feast of St.Dracula

No. There are no answers.

His heart's on my mantle

Chest cavity packed with glass
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 13, 2015, 02:37:08 am


I forgot about the test!


:scared:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Meunster on April 13, 2015, 03:51:01 am
Rush limbaugh was right.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 13, 2015, 07:45:16 am
You are a total failure

You'll never amount to anything

You'll always be a failure

also...

Descending colon filled with bees
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on April 13, 2015, 11:46:25 am
Descending colon filled with bees

Yeah, it might hurt to get your anal canal stung a few times. But maybe it would be worth it if you could jettison your payload and fill a room full of bankers with a cloud of angry, poopy bees.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 13, 2015, 05:43:17 pm
I would pay good money to be able to fart bees.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 13, 2015, 07:11:47 pm
return of the deranged ex

All laughter is now forbidden

growing numbers in abrahamic faiths

shoes filled with broken glass

the reanimation of Jack Valenti
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 13, 2015, 07:54:17 pm
Shut up and soldier, soldier.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 14, 2015, 05:28:27 am
They made him kill himself

They tried to ban porno

Paul Ryan will be president

North Korean style internet censorship

Twenty one inch anal circumference

The root canal didn't work

The tumor has become malignant

Impaled with seven hundred spikes

Today's special is human liver

More violent than any videogame

The sun eclipses the moon

Hollowed out body walking around

Industrial robot arm prostate examination

That house wasn't there yesterday

Blood shouldn't be that color
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 14, 2015, 10:59:27 am
PDS, if all those things you post are horror for you... Do you need to talk to someone?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 14, 2015, 03:13:44 pm
no, but they are generally horrifying, or at least disturbing.

The only ones I personally worry about are the depressing/existentialist ones ("the universe is just doomed", "you'll always be a failure", "it's like you never existed", etc), the political ones ("Paul Ryan will be president", "they tried to ban pornography"), and the one about forgetting the test which is similar to a recurring nightmare I have.

All the others would fit right in in horror films though

I watch a lot of horror films
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 15, 2015, 04:17:48 am
... until everyone is on board
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 16, 2015, 08:18:36 am
The gravity's much stronger today

Why's there an extra sun?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 16, 2015, 08:28:58 am
I remember the original genome.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Eater of Clowns on April 16, 2015, 01:41:52 pm
The horror won't end until
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Demolition Squid on April 16, 2015, 01:54:10 pm
Morale Improvement Measures now active.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 16, 2015, 10:23:21 pm
Morale Improvement Measures now active.
:nope:

The courtroom has become obsolete.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 17, 2015, 12:37:44 am
You've got the wrong guy!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 18, 2015, 10:28:12 pm
You're on the galactic train
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 21, 2015, 06:20:18 am
Dogs and cats living together
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 22, 2015, 04:44:03 pm
Honey, we're out of coffee.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 23, 2015, 02:24:39 am
Tests indicated mania is contagious.

The results were never released.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 23, 2015, 05:58:40 am
Honey, we're out of coffee.
:horrormirth:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 23, 2015, 06:53:22 am
I left the milk out

It's one solid chunk now
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 23, 2015, 07:03:48 am
Undercovers seeking Rx's from students

DARE's looking for a hero
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Meunster on April 23, 2015, 03:18:41 pm
The road is on fire
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 23, 2015, 03:33:39 pm
The road is on fire

The ocean is on fire.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 23, 2015, 03:46:52 pm
The lights all went out.

The broken bodies washed ashore.

Nobody admitted they saw it.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Demolition Squid on April 23, 2015, 05:09:21 pm
The road is on fire

The ocean is on fire.

The roof is on fire.

We don't need no water.

Let the mother fucker burn.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 23, 2015, 05:10:24 pm
Taken to an undisclosed location
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 23, 2015, 06:29:56 pm
The road is on fire

The ocean is on fire.

The roof is on fire.

We don't need no water.

Let the mother fucker burn.

:golfclap:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 25, 2015, 04:32:33 am
Game mods cost money now
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 25, 2015, 10:54:48 am
Quote
And there are heroic stupidities
- White Diamond, Werner Herzog (2004)
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on April 25, 2015, 02:51:40 pm
Eyeballs are a man's romance.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 25, 2015, 04:08:51 pm
"Even educated bees do it"
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 25, 2015, 07:58:29 pm
I keep finding myself gravitating towards four word ones instead of five. I haven't even kept track of how many I had to give up on because there was no way to add a word without spoiling it.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 25, 2015, 10:27:29 pm
I keep finding myself gravitating towards four word ones instead of five. I haven't even kept track of how many I had to give up on because there was no way to add a word without spoiling it.
I'm willing to stretch the rules, shall we do four words for now?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: MMIX on April 25, 2015, 11:02:32 pm
Couldn't find the haikku thread
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 25, 2015, 11:21:31 pm
Don't mind me, I'm whistling
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 25, 2015, 11:57:52 pm
I'm really excellent at puns.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 26, 2015, 12:36:11 pm
I'm really excellent at puns.
:argh!:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on April 26, 2015, 02:23:18 pm
My shadow stopped following me.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on April 26, 2015, 10:10:28 pm
Everyone works for customer service.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 27, 2015, 07:28:42 am
Everyone works for customer service.

<shudder>
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 30, 2015, 05:24:45 am
The TPP still isn't dead
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on April 30, 2015, 06:06:58 am
All 7 billion became immortal.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on April 30, 2015, 07:33:42 am
All 7 billion became immortal.
but not infertile?  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on April 30, 2015, 10:11:22 am
Four Twenty Zenzizenzizenzic over six
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 02, 2015, 03:35:54 am
I am apologise unconditionally
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on May 02, 2015, 05:04:37 am
Jetfuel, check.  Order steal beamz:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on May 03, 2015, 12:04:33 am
One size will fit all.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: BeaArthurDent on May 03, 2015, 05:00:21 am
There is no more beer.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on May 03, 2015, 05:59:27 am
The glasses are always clean.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on May 03, 2015, 11:09:08 pm
The glasses are always clean.

I don't know why, but this one really works for me.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on May 04, 2015, 06:15:17 am
PUSSY DON'T HAVE NO MOTOR!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on May 04, 2015, 07:46:16 am
You're wasting your time here
Remember that you will die
Life could be better used
It's later than you think
Be glad you're healthy now
Bugs living in my body
Bugs climbing from the drain
The toilet is working backwards
Sewage drips from the ceiling
It's like haiku, but stupid
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on May 04, 2015, 07:56:14 am
Thou art not yet ready
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: MMIX on May 04, 2015, 10:07:24 am
I'm standing right behind you
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Eater of Clowns on May 04, 2015, 01:38:14 pm
Welcome to Los Angeles Desert.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on May 19, 2015, 07:57:54 am
All my skin blistered off
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 19, 2015, 12:08:01 pm
In the end, nobody cared.
Nobody noticed much of anything.
Their struggle was for naught.
We all become monsters eventually.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on May 19, 2015, 12:28:36 pm
In the end, nobody cared.
Nobody noticed much of anything.
Their struggle was for naught.
We all become monsters eventually.
Wow, so true.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 19, 2015, 05:35:06 pm

We all become monsters eventually.

I was only following orders.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 19, 2015, 06:06:04 pm
We thought we were right.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Dubya on May 19, 2015, 07:37:37 pm
Use medication only as prescribed.

Wait, that wasn't cotton candy.

My God, what've I done?

The screaming was inexplicably muffled.

Its the only ethical choice

Hold my beer a minute
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on May 19, 2015, 07:54:49 pm
With us, or against us.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Dubya on May 19, 2015, 09:04:28 pm
The policeman is your friend
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on May 19, 2015, 09:29:06 pm
The policeman is your friend
The policeman in your head!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Dubya on May 19, 2015, 09:40:34 pm
What horribly mutilated corpses, Officer?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on May 20, 2015, 12:02:57 am
We own all your ideas
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 20, 2015, 02:04:44 am
It was just America happening.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Dubya on May 20, 2015, 04:05:56 am
Possible side effects include anal seepage
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 20, 2015, 12:16:59 pm
Possible side effects include anal seepage

SIX WORDS. DISQUALIFIED.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Demolition Squid on May 20, 2015, 12:38:31 pm
"Possible side effects include ... seepage."
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on May 20, 2015, 01:20:50 pm
Possible side effects: anal seepage
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Dubya on May 20, 2015, 01:34:29 pm
 :lulz:
Woops. Was supposed to be side-effects
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Dubya on May 20, 2015, 03:25:33 pm
I'll only be a minute
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on May 20, 2015, 09:38:28 pm
Aha, aha aha aha aha.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Half-Eaten Waffle on May 20, 2015, 11:05:01 pm
This won't hurt at all.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Dubya on May 20, 2015, 11:16:42 pm
Everything's going according to plan.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: PoFP on May 21, 2015, 01:56:00 am
My dog ate cat shit


Then vomited on my bed


Ant eaters tongue my asshole
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on May 21, 2015, 07:21:21 am
I am apologise unconditionally Show me the post.
That is 8 words, you fail!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: PoFP on May 21, 2015, 04:27:56 pm
Someone else took the credit


Someone stole my gotdamn phone!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Dubya on May 21, 2015, 04:30:54 pm
They all thought me mad.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Sung Low on May 21, 2015, 06:49:03 pm
McDonald's for every meal. Forever.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: PoFP on May 21, 2015, 06:55:58 pm
John Galt's probably a cunt
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Dubya on May 21, 2015, 09:34:44 pm
Suddenly, there came a tapping

 :lulz:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Reginald Ret on May 21, 2015, 10:44:56 pm
Suddenly, there came a tapping

 :lulz:
:lol:

Only this, and nothing more
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on May 22, 2015, 01:48:54 am
I am apologise unconditionally Show me the post.
That is 8 words, you fail!
You forgot you blocked me?!?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on May 23, 2015, 09:49:25 pm
JUST KEEP PUSHING THE SWING.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Dubya on May 23, 2015, 10:05:40 pm
 :horrormirth:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 24, 2015, 01:34:19 am
Atop a mountain of femurs.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 24, 2015, 06:52:06 am
JUST KEEP PUSHING THE SWING.

Aw, dude.   :horrormirth:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on May 24, 2015, 10:19:12 am
It was an infinite seesaw.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Eater of Clowns on May 24, 2015, 04:00:43 pm
JUST KEEP PUSHING THE SWING.

 :aaa:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on May 26, 2015, 07:14:48 am
My horses rock around again.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on May 26, 2015, 08:25:09 pm
Great Britain style internet censorship
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on May 28, 2015, 12:13:04 pm
Blood's on my clown suit
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on June 19, 2015, 05:10:01 pm
Thought this was relevant...

(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hemingway.png)
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Chucklemaster on June 19, 2015, 05:31:48 pm
It's alive again. It's moving.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 19, 2015, 05:37:41 pm
It grew back all wrong.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on June 19, 2015, 05:38:49 pm
We could try poking it.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Vanadium Gryllz on June 19, 2015, 06:31:41 pm
It has got my finger!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Rev Thwack on June 19, 2015, 06:49:12 pm
Umm, that shouldn't be empty
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: BeaArthurDent on June 20, 2015, 03:55:27 am
IRS has questions for you.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Demolition Squid on June 20, 2015, 07:50:36 am
These five words are repeated.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on June 20, 2015, 11:07:58 pm
For sale: One dead baby
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on June 20, 2015, 11:19:44 pm
Wanted: stainless steel baby pitchfork.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Dubya on June 21, 2015, 02:21:25 am
And the rain continued unabated.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Meunster on July 18, 2015, 09:29:20 pm
I fly confederate gaypride flags
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on July 18, 2015, 09:35:44 pm
Another protester killed by police.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on July 18, 2015, 10:33:36 pm
You are deliberately misinterpreting me
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Chaos_Zebra on July 23, 2015, 02:52:41 pm
Checking manually for cyborg pimplants( pineal implants )
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Eater of Clowns on July 24, 2015, 03:08:42 am
Roger and Cain on Caledonian.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 24, 2015, 03:25:44 am
Roger and Cain on Caledonian.

 :lulz:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on July 25, 2015, 02:23:36 am
Get them before they hatch
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Edward Longpork on August 12, 2015, 05:22:17 pm
My teeth turned into bugs
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on August 13, 2015, 01:25:00 am
My teeth turned into bugs
My teeth became chittering eyeballs.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on August 13, 2015, 05:22:41 am
The resurrection of Steve Jobs
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on August 13, 2015, 10:04:06 pm
My teeth turned into bugs

or conversely...

Those bugs turned into teeth
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on August 13, 2015, 10:19:34 pm
No one can hear you.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on August 16, 2015, 06:18:08 am
We're all going to die
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on August 16, 2015, 05:48:51 pm
The clouds were on fire.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on August 26, 2015, 05:27:09 am
I can't find my journal

Dark secrets lay waiting within

The clouds were on fire.

That's just the flavor beam
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on August 30, 2015, 11:59:34 am
None shall emphasize in July.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on September 01, 2015, 01:54:34 am
Why won't my mouth open
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on September 01, 2015, 11:30:55 pm
Completely crisp crumb coated cod.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on September 04, 2015, 03:53:01 am
A tall glass of pus
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Meunster on September 04, 2015, 05:03:10 am
tbh smh fml fam lol
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on September 04, 2015, 01:08:44 pm
You are better than that
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 18, 2015, 04:22:56 am
tbh smh fml fam lol

Why do you hate Juggalos?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Meunster on September 18, 2015, 11:41:12 pm
tbh smh fml fam lol

Why do you hate Juggalos?

Clowns will always be funny.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on September 19, 2015, 04:38:02 am
Why do you hate Juggalos?

They're less funny than Gacy

EDIT:
The ICP are spineless posers
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 19, 2015, 08:59:29 pm
Why do you hate Juggalos?

They're less funny than Gacy

EDIT:
The ICP are spineless posers

Wait, what the hell are they posing as?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on September 20, 2015, 03:10:12 am
Murderous clowns.

EDIT:
Perhaps my last post would have worked batter in backwards order:

The ICP are spineless posers
They're less funny than Gacy
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Meunster on September 20, 2015, 04:51:48 am
Suddenly spiders, spiders fucking everywhere
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on September 21, 2015, 11:05:58 pm
Spiders are my organic pesticide.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Meunster on September 22, 2015, 02:42:59 am
Spiders are my organic pesticide.

Also works well on mice
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on September 22, 2015, 04:18:05 am
Beware the sticky trap debacle.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Nast on September 23, 2015, 04:34:21 am
Night of the burning urethra.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on September 23, 2015, 04:54:27 am
That's gonna hurt coming out
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on September 23, 2015, 08:41:31 am
Anaconda snot the preferred python.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Da6s on September 25, 2015, 10:02:03 am
The resurrection of Steve Jobs

One more thing... Pancreatic cancer.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Dubya on September 29, 2015, 05:35:09 pm
The resurrection of Steve Jobs

One more thing... Pancreatic cancer.


New This Christmas: Apple iZombie*!
 
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on March 19, 2016, 03:32:23 am
You've lost your head privileges

The crackpots were right afterall

Twenty three man human centipede
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on March 23, 2016, 01:47:27 am
Donald Trump wins in landslide
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on March 23, 2016, 05:38:51 pm
Disembodied, malicious whispers surround us.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on March 23, 2016, 05:40:55 pm
Disembodied, malicious whispers surround us.

That's just Harry being Harry.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 23, 2016, 05:42:13 pm
Gave up on dems entirely
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on March 23, 2016, 05:52:42 pm
And nothing happened ever again.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on March 28, 2016, 01:33:50 am
Everything rhymed with everything else.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on March 28, 2016, 05:28:17 pm
where did my mouth go?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 06, 2016, 02:21:48 am
My mother was a sociopath.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 06, 2016, 12:16:07 pm
The brain scan wasn't good.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on April 06, 2016, 06:26:50 pm
That monolith wasn't there yesterday...
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 09, 2016, 10:49:46 pm
Don’t worry, it ain’t loaded.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 10, 2016, 07:19:10 am
(not mine, I saw this on another webiste)

They're killing tiny horses again
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 10, 2016, 08:46:22 pm
What could possibly go wrong?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Meunster on April 11, 2016, 12:00:54 am
Try to imagine Nietzsche happy
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 11, 2016, 07:24:15 am
This will not end well.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: PoFP on April 11, 2016, 12:25:43 pm
The calls are rolling in.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 11, 2016, 01:33:48 pm
The sores would not improve.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 11, 2016, 04:18:18 pm
We’re not in Kansas anymore.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: MMIX on April 11, 2016, 05:00:48 pm
Its all a grey area
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 11, 2016, 05:51:54 pm
Everyone’s coming here for Christmas.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on April 12, 2016, 12:41:14 am
They found us. Stay calm.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 12, 2016, 01:01:56 am
Give me your honest opinion.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 12, 2016, 06:29:57 am
Where did my eyes go?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 12, 2016, 06:43:48 am
I’m only here to help.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 12, 2016, 12:09:58 pm
So, there are a lot of these that could be useful as marginalia, or we could slap everything into an itty-bitty book?

Folks who've contributed, what do you think?

Someone's got the Holies again.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 12, 2016, 01:30:32 pm
Or, if you're feeling especially creative....

Ok, I think this helps.




It all started pleasantly enough.  Yesterday, the shadow grew again.  Strange shapes blackened the sky.  The walls kept changing color.  There’s something outside the window.  Her eyes widened in anticipation.  It was an insular community.  We thought they were dead.  But they were dead, yesterday…  There wasn’t time to scream. 

The sun didn’t rise today.  No one sees color here.  They don’t remember the difference.  It is inside the house.  That night, I wasn’t alone.  A voice said, “You die”. There shouldn’t be visitors tonight.  Didn’t I lock this door?

I spoke into the silence.  “I’m not usually like this.  I can’t feel my legs.” 

She said, “I got this.”  She had too many teeth.  Time slowed to a stop.  “This won’t hurt a bit.”  The anesthesia didn’t quite work.  The scab came off again.  It had been an eye.  Below, rows of sharp teeth.  I think those are teeth.  “It’s curable, for a price.”

My voice seemed far away.  “I can’t find the baby.  I have these horrible urges.” 

“They know, they just don’t care.”  Her eyes followed the wound.  “This isn’t my real face.” 

But there was no face…
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Junkenstein on April 12, 2016, 02:30:27 pm
 :mittens:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on April 12, 2016, 05:23:55 pm
 :mittens:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: PoFP on April 13, 2016, 01:17:37 am
Holy fuck yes.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 14, 2016, 02:08:54 pm
What harm could it do?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on April 14, 2016, 02:27:01 pm
Best Christmas orphans ever had.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 15, 2016, 04:19:51 am
Where did the town go?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Meunster on April 15, 2016, 12:27:16 pm
The room with the knifes
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: PoFP on April 15, 2016, 07:54:20 pm
My favorite, covered in chocolate.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 16, 2016, 01:03:04 pm
This nightmare will never end.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 18, 2016, 05:51:17 am
He's too rich to convict

EDIT:

Procrustes is gonna get you!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: PoFP on April 18, 2016, 03:34:34 pm
They ran out of rolls.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Junkenstein on April 18, 2016, 03:48:17 pm
He's too rich to convict


It's been done. And there's no way you'll do better than real life in this case:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affluenza

Quote
In December 2013, State District Judge Jean Boyd sentenced a North Texas teenager, Ethan Couch,[10][11] to 10 years' probation for driving under the influence and killing four pedestrians and injuring 11[12] after his attorneys successfully argued that the teen suffered from affluenza and needed rehabilitation, and not prison. The lawyers had argued that Couch was unable to understand the consequences of his actions because of his financial privilege.


Sadly, there are many, many more examples. This was just the most blatant.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 19, 2016, 05:07:37 am
The real kicker in that case is that even though he basically used the insanity defense, IIRC he didn't get the straitjacket/rubber-room treatment
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on April 19, 2016, 06:35:58 am
...and I approve this message
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 21, 2016, 04:37:37 pm
The first one is free.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on April 28, 2016, 11:47:59 pm
Babel hibernates in binary code.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on April 29, 2016, 06:18:17 pm
Thousands of unsynced, chattering Furbies.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on April 29, 2016, 06:25:11 pm
Babel hibernates in binary code.

Though I don't find it personally horrible, I really like the idea.  Maybe you could move that to Original Story Ideas, if you can avoid it turning into Snow Crash.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 30, 2016, 04:22:07 am
My porn collection is missing.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on April 30, 2016, 04:29:58 am
There is only One, bathroom.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Hoopla on April 30, 2016, 11:43:31 pm
Police were none the wiser.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 01, 2016, 12:32:42 am
Everything was teeth and razors.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on May 03, 2016, 12:54:09 pm
We don’t need the manual.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on May 04, 2016, 01:38:29 am
AK's shepherd's hook got loosened.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on May 04, 2016, 06:51:50 pm
I can't stop scratching it!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on May 05, 2016, 05:07:08 am
Saliva does cause stomach cancer.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on May 05, 2016, 08:33:20 am
It'll work its way out.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on May 10, 2016, 02:15:11 pm
The karaoke of the damned.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Meunster on May 15, 2016, 06:18:15 pm
That isn't a French tickler.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 15, 2016, 07:09:06 pm
Uncontrollably hemorrhaging brain lubricant.

(four words, don't care)
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on May 16, 2016, 02:57:55 am
Like tapeworms, but in penises.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on May 16, 2016, 03:54:25 pm
I hear those voices again.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on May 27, 2016, 06:24:41 am
It flitted out the urethra.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on May 27, 2016, 06:26:41 am
Viciously, it bit her cervix.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on May 27, 2016, 06:29:49 am
Alarmed, he withdrew, coming everywhere.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on May 27, 2016, 06:32:20 am
It wriggled inside her bellybutton.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on May 27, 2016, 06:44:46 am
She convulsed, screaming, profoundly orgasming.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on May 27, 2016, 06:45:16 am
He vomited into her vagina.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: N E T on May 27, 2016, 06:54:32 am
Still had to pay child-support.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on May 27, 2016, 09:21:15 am
All those memories are dreams.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 27, 2016, 12:56:10 pm
Net, it's five word horror, not porn.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on May 27, 2016, 03:33:34 pm
The virus has mutated again.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on May 27, 2016, 05:06:04 pm
Ronald McDonald, fisher of men.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 03, 2016, 04:30:56 pm
It’s at the tipping point.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 11, 2016, 09:05:29 am
It’s an absolutely foolproof design.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on June 11, 2016, 09:10:27 pm
It has integrated security measures.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 11, 2016, 11:30:35 pm
It has built-in failsafes.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: PoFP on June 12, 2016, 01:32:25 am
It has PTERODACTYLS, SHIT-FUCK.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on June 12, 2016, 04:21:49 am
Void is the eternal Core.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 12, 2016, 02:55:38 pm
She didn't need bones anyway.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 12, 2016, 05:22:15 pm
It’s an absolutely foolproof design.

It has integrated security measures.

It has built-in failsafes.

It’s state-of-the-art.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 15, 2016, 12:02:22 am
Sociopaths can own semiautomatic rifles.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 15, 2016, 10:04:09 am
It’s an absolutely foolproof design.

It has integrated security measures.

It has built-in failsafes.

It’s state-of-the-art.

It’s controlled by Artificial Intelligence.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 15, 2016, 12:08:20 pm
Somebody wanted it this way.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 16, 2016, 04:25:54 pm
The virus has mutated again.

It’s now a super-virus.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Junkenstein on June 16, 2016, 04:43:07 pm
The virus has mutated again.

It’s now a super-virus.

Syphilis continues to spread worldwide.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 16, 2016, 09:35:15 pm
I hear those voices again.

They said, “Buy a gun.”
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on June 17, 2016, 12:19:23 am
God may be cosmically lonely.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 17, 2016, 08:14:02 am
I hear those voices again.

They said, “Buy a gun.”

I do whatever they say.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on June 19, 2016, 02:01:11 am
Let's make America great again
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 20, 2016, 10:16:04 am
Sociopaths can own semiautomatic rifles.

The NRA enables domestic terrorists.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 24, 2016, 11:49:24 am
I hear those voices again.

They said, “Buy a gun.”

I do whatever they say.

So, I bought a gun.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Junkenstein on June 24, 2016, 02:40:11 pm
Ammunition is cheaper than food.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on June 24, 2016, 03:34:58 pm
Let's make England great again
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 24, 2016, 07:19:00 pm
Don’t worry, it ain’t loaded.

Yeah, the safety is on.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on June 25, 2016, 12:17:49 am
Headshots are for sidearms, occifer.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 25, 2016, 08:02:33 am
God may be cosmically lonely.

He created many sentient playthings.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 25, 2016, 08:03:29 am
Let's make America great again

Bring back the Gilded Age!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 25, 2016, 08:04:24 am
Ammunition is cheaper than food.

I hunt all my food.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 01, 2016, 09:03:02 am
Sociopaths can own semiautomatic rifles.

The NRA enables domestic terrorists.

The NRA owns Republican politicians.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Junkenstein on July 01, 2016, 01:10:21 pm
Sociopaths can own semiautomatic rifles.

The NRA enables domestic terrorists.

The NRA owns Republican politicians. Fixed.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 01, 2016, 06:40:55 pm
Give me your honest opinion.

Constructive criticism is always appreciated.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on July 01, 2016, 11:39:44 pm
Goatse blazing atop Barad-Dur
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 06, 2016, 11:55:08 am
I hear those voices again.

They said, “Buy a gun.”

I do whatever they say.

So, I bought a gun.

I never question the voices.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on July 06, 2016, 06:16:25 pm
Our fire wasn't hot enough.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 06, 2016, 07:12:51 pm
Our fire wasn't hot enough.

Oh god.

That's a good one.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on July 07, 2016, 05:49:40 am
Sociopaths can own semiautomatic rifles.

The NRA enables domestic terrorists.

The NRA owns Republican politicians.

Sociopaths can run for office

Domestic terrorists enable republican politicians
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 07, 2016, 05:24:54 pm
Want to see my tattoo?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 08, 2016, 08:54:19 pm
Another day, another mass shooting.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 12, 2016, 07:47:58 am
Another day, another mass shooting.

Our technology outpaces our wisdom.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 12, 2016, 09:00:27 am
This is too much water.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 13, 2016, 01:08:18 am
Horror is an art form.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on July 13, 2016, 07:08:58 pm
Our self-preservation instincts failed.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: PoFP on July 13, 2016, 07:56:18 pm
like omg tfw roflcopter xd



Am I doing it right?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 14, 2016, 12:09:34 am
Another day, another mass shooting.

Our technology outpaces our wisdom.

Humans kill their own species.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 15, 2016, 07:52:13 pm
Another day, another mass shooting.

Our technology outpaces our wisdom.

Humans kill their own species.

Another day, another mass killing.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 21, 2016, 10:58:42 am
Another day, another mass shooting.

Our technology outpaces our wisdom.

Humans kill their own species.

Another day, another mass killing.

Humans are sentient killer apes.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Acuddle on July 21, 2016, 09:17:38 pm
"You don't see your gun." (In an RPG session, in the middle of a pitched battle, followed by "The one in my haaands ?!".)

For soundclouders:
Got my first copyright strike
Buy Real SoundCloud Followers Now (curse those spammers :argh!:...)

Quote from: Fernando Poo
like omg tfw roflcopter xd



Am I doing it right?

Oh yeah~, definitely :lol: !
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 22, 2016, 08:05:28 pm
Give me your honest opinion.

Constructive criticism is always appreciated.

What do you really think?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on July 23, 2016, 03:01:44 am
Trump will build a wall
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 23, 2016, 06:21:48 pm
The first one is free.

Try it. You’ll like it.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on July 24, 2016, 01:11:25 am
Everything is as it seems.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on July 24, 2016, 02:24:08 am
Who is like The Donald?
Who can war against it?
(Book of Revelation 13:4)
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 24, 2016, 06:03:45 am
The first one is free.

Try it. You’ll like it.

It feels good, doesn’t it?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 28, 2016, 06:12:06 pm
I completely ignored a sociopath.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 30, 2016, 07:05:44 am
The proctologist of the damned.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 31, 2016, 09:13:17 pm
She solves crimes with Google.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on August 02, 2016, 11:54:22 pm
She commits crimes with Google.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on August 04, 2016, 06:54:44 am
Norman Bates incest pornography film
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on August 05, 2016, 04:21:46 am
I posted an intelligent reply.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on August 06, 2016, 08:25:43 am
SLYD OVE THERRIS ABULINS CARKINI!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on August 27, 2016, 09:59:40 am
Eval is not to evaluate.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on December 16, 2016, 10:16:07 pm
Fox News – Ministry of Propaganda
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on December 17, 2016, 02:03:26 am
Trump actually won the election
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on December 17, 2016, 09:01:55 am
They elected The Siberian Candidate.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on December 20, 2016, 05:41:17 am
You’re on The Reaper’s list.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on December 20, 2016, 04:17:40 pm
Justin Bieber lyrics made incarnate.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on December 21, 2016, 05:34:38 pm
Welcome to Fact Free America!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on December 22, 2016, 06:51:37 am
Vladimir Putin now rules all
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on December 22, 2016, 09:07:21 am
Sasha Dugin predicts the fall
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on December 22, 2016, 02:21:20 pm
We’re going back to feudalism.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on December 22, 2016, 10:59:05 pm
Liberty or death? Why choose?
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on December 23, 2016, 02:17:56 am
We are all just doomed
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on December 23, 2016, 05:54:33 am
We are all just doomed

um excuse me the assignment is 5 word horror, not 5 word documentary.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on December 23, 2016, 12:23:23 pm
Liberty or death? Why choose?
It's not a false distinction.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on December 23, 2016, 02:37:16 pm
The Horror Police are here!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on December 23, 2016, 10:52:51 pm
Liberal arbitrariness becomes the Law.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on December 23, 2016, 11:01:08 pm
The Internet starts eulogizing itself.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on December 23, 2016, 11:08:04 pm
Spirit of Christmas extraordinarily rendered.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on December 23, 2016, 11:40:28 pm
Tiny hands holding nuclear codes.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on December 27, 2016, 03:50:00 pm
Megiddo’s now open for business.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on December 29, 2016, 03:48:48 pm
The Deceiver shall be crowned.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 04, 2017, 04:05:02 am
Lies aren’t called lies anymore.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on January 04, 2017, 08:05:17 am
Nothing becomes revelation without concealment.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 05, 2017, 05:08:00 pm
Environmental protection lowers corporate profits.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on January 05, 2017, 05:09:23 pm
Nobody stopped it. Nobody cared.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on January 06, 2017, 06:26:34 pm
Nobody stopped it. Nobody cared.

 :mittens:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 06, 2017, 09:56:18 pm
Olympians look on in fear.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: PopeGillies on January 08, 2017, 02:07:12 am
This is definitely not weed
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on January 08, 2017, 02:46:12 am
This thread is becoming memebombs.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 09, 2017, 12:05:53 pm
The Antichrist walks the Earth.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 11, 2017, 06:14:19 am
I went to sea sober.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Rev Thwack on January 11, 2017, 12:38:02 pm
Dirty cat anus, all around....
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 11, 2017, 02:02:42 pm
Trump makes Dubbya look intelligent.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on January 11, 2017, 03:29:45 pm
Their footprints were miles deep.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on January 11, 2017, 04:34:31 pm
'Twas a placebo all along.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 11, 2017, 07:02:43 pm
Golden showers harbinger presidential powers.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on January 11, 2017, 08:08:57 pm
Russia has won the war
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 12, 2017, 08:02:04 am
Trump – America’s mental health problem.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on January 12, 2017, 06:03:40 pm
She screamed glass shards forever.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on January 12, 2017, 06:04:50 pm
The void howled and grew.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on January 12, 2017, 06:05:22 pm
Everything is as it seems.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on January 12, 2017, 08:54:06 pm
Perceptual error indicates objective reality.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 12, 2017, 11:18:36 pm
Free-thinking is extremely expensive.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Salty on January 13, 2017, 04:04:23 am
We were all Donald Trump.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 13, 2017, 04:11:49 am
We were all Donald Trump.

 :scared:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 13, 2017, 12:24:51 pm
Remember: Golden showers conserve water.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 18, 2017, 08:13:51 pm
Golden showers freshen inauguration flowers.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on January 18, 2017, 11:32:20 pm
Reason dies of autoerotic asphyxiation.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 19, 2017, 12:19:33 am
CNN will be serving santorum.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 23, 2017, 04:45:43 pm
Lies are now ‘alternative facts’.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 25, 2017, 05:23:05 am
I thought 1984 was fiction.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on January 31, 2017, 04:36:07 am
A life of quiet desperation.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on January 31, 2017, 05:42:57 am
We have chosen the end.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on February 02, 2017, 03:16:06 pm
The End of Days nears.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 02, 2017, 05:13:25 pm
Church and State will merge.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on February 02, 2017, 05:14:50 pm
Pitchforks and torches didn't work.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on February 07, 2017, 01:04:29 am
Believing is easier than thinking.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on February 07, 2017, 02:57:19 am
The apocalypse was somewhat metaphysical.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on February 07, 2017, 03:23:20 am
turns out we're already dead.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on February 07, 2017, 07:09:51 am
 Brains are our daily bread.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on February 09, 2017, 04:34:44 pm
Malignant narcissism has no cure.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Chucklemaster on February 13, 2017, 12:30:49 am
Schoolchildren studying your life.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on February 13, 2017, 12:35:30 am
Schoolchildren studying your life.

Code: [Select]
2 + 2 = 5
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 13, 2017, 02:09:29 am
Schoolchildren studying your life.

Code: [Select]
2 + 2 = 5

There are FIVE words V3X!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on February 13, 2017, 04:46:33 am
Schoolchildren studying your life.

Code: [Select]
2 + 2 = 5

There are FIVE words V3X!

no.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 13, 2017, 05:50:57 am
Schoolchildren studying your life.

Code: [Select]
2 + 2 = 5

There are FIVE words V3X!

no.
Gul Dukat made it so.
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Salty on February 13, 2017, 06:15:07 pm
I helped them to death.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 13, 2017, 07:48:43 pm
People are still rimming Crowley.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on February 14, 2017, 06:04:07 pm
Some men are born posthumously.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on February 14, 2017, 07:45:09 pm
Carnival barkers know your mind.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on February 16, 2017, 06:09:36 am
Many prefer delusion to truth.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on February 16, 2017, 06:50:28 am
People do their very best.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 16, 2017, 07:42:36 am
People do their very best.

This is the worst story.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 17, 2017, 03:19:59 pm
People do their very best.

:mittens:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on February 21, 2017, 08:59:50 pm
The bell tolls for thee.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on February 22, 2017, 01:05:21 am
Juggalos stole a time machine.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on February 23, 2017, 02:12:00 am
The priest’s danger is science.


(The above is the shortened, five word version of a quotation from Nietzche’s The Antichrist, Sect. 49.)
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on February 28, 2017, 10:24:14 pm
The buck stops somewhere else.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Slipper on March 01, 2017, 10:55:22 pm
The cereal had sat awhile.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on March 02, 2017, 11:03:38 pm
Religion — an antonym for truth.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on March 07, 2017, 05:22:15 pm
You’ll never get out alive.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on March 09, 2017, 03:37:44 pm
Faith wills ignorance of truth.

(The above is the shortened, five word version of a quotation from Nietzche’s The Antichrist, Sect. 52.)
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on March 09, 2017, 07:37:00 pm
Unrecognizable face seen in mirror.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on March 10, 2017, 02:28:09 am
Be right, or be fulfilled.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on March 14, 2017, 11:28:25 am
Trumpcare – “An apple a day …”
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on March 16, 2017, 07:17:21 pm
“Post-truth is pre-fascism.”

   (The above is a quotation from Professor Timothy D. Snyder, Yale University.)
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on March 16, 2017, 10:55:48 pm
To EVERYTHING there's a season.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Salty on March 19, 2017, 04:12:09 am
The period that never came.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on March 21, 2017, 04:05:08 pm
Earmarked: USS Donald J. Trump
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on March 23, 2017, 01:54:58 am
Let them eat aircraft carriers.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on March 28, 2017, 06:10:51 am
Comrade Trump’s hunting Big Bird.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on March 30, 2017, 07:12:31 am
Tax breaks are worth treason.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 04, 2017, 12:09:00 pm
Dishonest Don might become competent.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 06, 2017, 12:49:34 pm
Mmmmm, I feel lucky today!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 11, 2017, 06:51:45 pm
War is a publicity stunt.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on April 11, 2017, 08:42:03 pm
Reality never had a chance.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 13, 2017, 03:48:02 pm
ALL options on the table.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on April 13, 2017, 05:02:04 pm
Minutes pass slower than years.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: PoFP on April 17, 2017, 10:28:54 pm
Minutes pass slower than years.

:mittens:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 18, 2017, 07:47:41 pm
The end justifies the means.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on April 20, 2017, 02:51:37 pm
Responsibility is for other people.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: hansga on April 26, 2017, 06:38:32 pm
You have a presentation tomorrow!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 28, 2017, 03:37:27 am
You have a presentation tomorrow!

AAAAAAAGH, I'M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES!  :x
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on April 30, 2017, 11:33:04 pm
Concentration camps monopolize attention economy.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on May 06, 2017, 07:10:50 am
 Everything makes sense, because aliens.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on May 08, 2017, 01:57:14 pm
You have a presentation tomorrow!

AAAAAAAGH, I'M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES!  :x

Midterms begin in two days.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 11, 2017, 05:06:20 pm
This feeling is perfectly normal.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LMNO on May 11, 2017, 05:19:58 pm
Remember your entire life, now.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on May 11, 2017, 07:11:09 pm
Stuck in perpetual flu season.
 :sad:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Kai on May 12, 2017, 01:45:46 am
Eldrich arms around a dick.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 12, 2017, 02:06:30 am
This feeling is perfectly normal.

This is the new normal.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 12, 2017, 01:33:35 pm
Eldrich arms around a dick.

Five word porn is a different thread.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Kai on May 12, 2017, 08:28:08 pm
Eldrich arms around a dick.

Five word porn is a different thread.

Insect genitalia is pornographic?

Well.

I guess that explains a lot.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 12, 2017, 09:17:52 pm
Eldrich arms around a dick.

Five word porn is a different thread.

Insect genitalia is pornographic?

Well.

I guess that explains a lot.

Everything's porn if you're sufficiently dedicated.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 12, 2017, 11:03:42 pm
Leftist trogdolytes without advanced degrees.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on May 13, 2017, 06:21:30 pm
Leftist trogdolytes without advanced degrees.
Hey that's me
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 13, 2017, 06:39:50 pm
Leftist trogdolytes without advanced degrees.
Hey that's me

Same.  Let's go destroy society.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on May 18, 2017, 05:47:45 pm
Comrade Trump did it again.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Chucklemaster on May 21, 2017, 11:47:10 pm
Read the documents! The government-
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on May 22, 2017, 12:07:53 am
Orbital bombardment was not enough.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Chucklemaster on May 22, 2017, 10:42:46 pm
And we didn't even try.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on May 23, 2017, 03:52:32 am
Only little people pay taxes.

(The above is the shortened, five word version of a quotation attributed to Leona Helmsley.)
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on May 23, 2017, 04:54:54 pm
Humanity's a self-correcting problem.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on May 23, 2017, 07:38:35 pm
Ignorance as legitimate as knowledge.

(The above is the shortened, five word version of a quotation from Isaac Asimov.)
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on May 25, 2017, 07:15:30 pm
Against stupidity even gods struggle.

   (The above is the shortened, five word version of a quotation from Schiller.)
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 01, 2017, 03:21:43 am
What goes around comes around.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 06, 2017, 01:03:13 am
Karma is really a bitch.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2017, 01:12:20 am
Other, equally-valid theories exist.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 06, 2017, 06:03:28 pm
They know where you live.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 13, 2017, 05:02:13 pm
It’s not me, it’s you.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 14, 2017, 06:28:31 am
Jesus does not love you.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 15, 2017, 06:08:53 pm
The rules have been changed.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on June 15, 2017, 06:47:14 pm
America's only legacy is Snuggies.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Hoopla on June 15, 2017, 09:35:33 pm
Other, equally-valid theories exist.

 :lulz:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 15, 2017, 10:01:58 pm
You are my science project.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on June 18, 2017, 07:30:35 am
Everything you touches razor-blade
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 20, 2017, 10:07:07 pm
There is a new “normal.”
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on June 21, 2017, 09:03:04 pm
Worlds orthogonal to your soul.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Freeky on June 21, 2017, 09:29:17 pm
Gonna Mark All As Read.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 21, 2017, 09:57:55 pm
Gonna Mark All As Read.
:horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 22, 2017, 08:02:34 am
You’re already circling the bowl.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on June 23, 2017, 12:47:56 am
Eschaton emmanentized, and NOTHING happened.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on June 23, 2017, 11:19:52 pm
Nothing is God remaining anonymous.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on June 24, 2017, 01:37:20 am
God is in fact eponymous.  :fnord:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on June 27, 2017, 04:56:46 pm
The natives are restless again.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 01, 2017, 10:06:00 am
The whole game is rigged.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on July 05, 2017, 06:41:19 pm
Every oasis is a mirage.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 06, 2017, 11:01:53 am
The fix is still in.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 13, 2017, 09:11:29 pm
Guns empower the mentally ill.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 17, 2017, 01:40:11 pm
Tax breaks trump healthy constituents.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on July 25, 2017, 03:12:18 am
We are misguided, weaponized apes
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on July 25, 2017, 04:27:10 am
looking for enlightenment in discordianism
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on July 28, 2017, 04:30:56 am
The Kellyanne Conway sex tape
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Ziegejunge on July 28, 2017, 04:11:30 pm
The Kellyanne Conway sex tape

 :horrormirth:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on July 29, 2017, 02:03:10 am
The Kellyanne Conway sex tape

 :horrormirth:

My work here is done
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 29, 2017, 02:15:32 pm
I can do this forever.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on August 04, 2017, 11:31:19 am
Suffering's eternal repetition transcends desire.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on August 04, 2017, 03:52:04 pm
Suffering's eternal repetition transcends desire.

Holy shit that was deep!
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: axod on August 11, 2017, 10:00:30 am
Writing is destruction of memory.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on August 11, 2017, 10:19:55 pm
I’m not tired of ‘winning.’
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on August 16, 2017, 10:00:25 pm
The Confederacy has captured Washington.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on August 16, 2017, 11:45:10 pm
 History of future replaces past.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on September 23, 2017, 04:38:42 pm
Prole spags, mind the gap.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on September 23, 2017, 09:53:55 pm
Planet X didn't show up.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: LuciferX on September 25, 2017, 08:09:34 am
 UR Planet X's on YouTube.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on September 28, 2017, 02:30:49 pm
The President has no knowledge …
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: The Wizard Joseph on September 28, 2017, 09:46:36 pm
The President has no knowledge …
:horrormirth:
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on September 29, 2017, 01:37:21 pm
We’ve entered Gilded Age II.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on October 03, 2017, 04:54:52 pm
NRA money is blood money.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on October 14, 2017, 06:34:50 pm
TGRR did not really die.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on November 09, 2017, 03:02:21 am
Going out with a whimper.
Title: Re: Five word horror
Post by: Brother Mythos on November 11, 2017, 07:01:56 pm
The death of the forum.