Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: trix on January 25, 2018, 05:50:06 pm

Title: The trix petty bullshit thread.
Post by: trix on January 25, 2018, 05:50:06 pm
DISCLAIMER:  This thread is stupid.  Skip it.  I created it for me, to vent.  It's an entire thread of me bitching about stupid petty crap that shouldn't bother me but does.  You've been warned!

So yeah, there's a ton of large painful shit in my life that bothers me.  So what to do?  I know!  I'll focus on petty bullshit instead!!!

Here's a bunch of stupid small petty bullshit that bothers the fuck out of me.

1.  Every fucking day driving to work I encounter the same shit.  Self-important assholes that want to turn right at an upcoming intersection but first switch to the less populated left lane and slams the gas to pass a few cars first, only to cut over to the right lane at the LAST POSSIBLE FUCKING MOMENT and make six people slam on their goddamn breaks so Mr Asshole can get a few cars ahead.  GOD DAMN I FUCKING HATE THESE ASSHOLES.  I wish I had a rocket launcher attached to my vehicle.

2. Every fucking day driving home from work there are an INSANE number of assholes in the opposite direction that blind me with their motherfucking brights on.  FUCK YOU.  I AM HAPPY YOU WILL ALL DIE SOMEDAY.

3.  People who cut me off as I start speaking, because they assume they know what I'm about to say but they are fucking WRONG AND WONT LET ME GET THE SENTENCE OUT ANYWAY BECAUSE THEY ARE SO FUCKING SURE.  This one especially at work.

4.  STUPID PETTY WORK FUCKING DRAMA.  I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF DAN TAKES 12 MINUTE BREAKS INSTEAD OF 10 MINUTES JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.  I DONT CARE IF DAVE IS PROBABLY GAY.  I DONT CARE I DONT CARE I DONT CARE LEAVE ME ALONE I'M TRYING TO FUCKING LISTEN TO MY MUSIC AND IGNORE YOU SHITHEADS.

5.  STUPID PETTY WORK FUCKING DRAMA.  Stop talking about everyone behind their back.  10 times a day I encounter a small group of 3-4 people standing around on a break talking shit about someone, usually shit they KNOW NOTHING ABOUT but are guessing because their life is BORING AS FUCK.

6.  If I want to turn right at a red light and can't because some ass is sitting in the right lane going straight and NOBODY IS IN THE LEFT LANE that asshole should die violently.

7.  Everyone who drives a pickup truck is a stupid asshole.  People who drive a pickup truck so fucking huge it takes up TWO GODDAMN SPACES in the parking lot is TWICE THE ASSHOLE.

8.  Yes, I am good with computers.  No, that doesn't mean I want to give up hours of my free time removing viruses from your shitty fucking laptop for free because you download and run random stupid bullshit constantly.  We're friends?  Cool, then be a pal and learn how your own shit works!  Or pay me for my time, effort, and skills.  I HATED working for GeekSquad.  If I tell you it'll cost you $50 and an Excedrin to get me to de-virus your shitty Windows laptop that is NOT A FUCKING JOKE, that's the cost of the headache you're giving me.  I am, however, happy to stick Linux on your craptop and only charge $5 each time you need me to fix something.  Why?  Because with Linux anything you fuck up I can fix in five minutes with a couple of console commands.

9.  If I'm having a bad fucking day and I mention to you something like "Yeah man I'm not feeling it today so I'm going to wear my headphones and just do my work and go home"  that's me telling you I'm not feeling social and don't want to chat.  That is NOT an invitation to spend the next hour asking me questions and trying to be sympathetic.  I appreciate that you know how I feel, that you get like that too sometimes, that you think I am nice and that you want to help.  I appreciate that you've had similar issues in your life and want to tell me all about them and give advice.  You are, however, not helping.  Leaving me the fuck alone so I can vibe to my tunes, THAT is helping.

10.  I don't like to talk about what I do outside of work.  This doesn't mean there's some big fucking mystery and I spend what little free time I have doing something crazy secret like assassinations or something.  Actually it means I'm boring as hell and I come home and read the internet or a book and occasionally fuck my girlfriend.  If I had any interests in common whatsoever with any of my coworkers I would talk to said coworker about said interests.  I don't, so I don't.  If I tell you the answer to your questions would bore you, I'm speaking from experience.  Take my word for it.  You don't want me to describe how I spent most of last night reading linux man pages to get the PC I use as a router to do what I want it to because you wouldn't fucking understand anything I said anyway.*


*  The caveat to that last one, is people who insist I do so anyway.  It's actually kind of fun to give them exactly what they want, and waaaay too much of it.  20 minutes into the in-depth detailed account of the Drama of the SSH Protocol when they are desperately trying to escape or change the subject and I start following them around to finish my six hour story of how I cleverly solved my network issues with a custom bash script that calls another bash script remotely etc etc etc and they start to really learn the lesson.  I will consider it the ultimate victory when I get someone to quit their job because they pushed and pushed me into talking about the shit I do that I KNEW they would find insanely boring, so I gave them SO MUCH of what they asked for that they just couldn't take it anymore.



---

You know, somehow, despite everything above, I still seem to be pretty well liked at work and I cannot for the life of me fathom why.  I wish they hated me and left me the fuck alone but apparently the more I try to avoid talking to them the more they want me to like them.  They are all just like my goddamn cat, who is purring in my lap right now because I tried to ignore the little fucker.

I'm genuinely sorry if you ignored my disclaimer, read all the above anyway and were not entertained by it.  This shit (and more) is building up every day and I need to shit it out somewhere or explode.
Title: Re: The trix petty bullshit thread.
Post by: LMNO on January 25, 2018, 06:56:36 pm
You're awesome.  It would be cool if we worked together.  We could ignore each other when we wanted, and then bother each other, gleefully.
Title: Re: The trix petty bullshit thread.
Post by: Cain on January 25, 2018, 07:33:13 pm
Quote
DISCLAIMER:  This thread is stupid.  Skip it.

no u
Title: Re: The trix petty bullshit thread.
Post by: Doktor Howl on January 26, 2018, 12:54:34 am
And then, in the first example, Trix turned into TGRR.  The End.

 :lulz:
Title: Re: The trix petty bullshit thread.
Post by: Ziegejunge on January 26, 2018, 03:51:05 pm
Seconded.