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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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1
Senor Paes was disturbed.

He sat before The Beast and he blinked. The Beast blinked back 597,224 times. It may have been that many separate winks. Leaning against The Beast was his invention, the wires frayed, the hoses cracking, the railroad spike permanently sharpened thanks to a grand and confusing introduction, kinship, and parting with Richter. And around him, and The Beast, and the machine, was nothing.

Nothing was interesting for approximately seven minutes, after which there was no time. When he first realized he was in nothing he stood and he walked away from The Beast to wander there, but he could not. There is no distance in nothing, and The Beast was at the center of it anyway, so wherever he went he was in the same spot. He could neither walk, nor fly, nor float without surface or air or gravity, and The Beast being so real didn’t even allow for those fun sensory deprivation things he’s heard so much about.

The Beast used to be a single backup hard drive. About halfway through Tucson he needed to find an expansion. It wasn’t long after that when things spiraled out of control. But The Beast blinked, and so Senor Paes was sure it had to be working. Probably. Sometimes in its maelstrom of blinking the colors would whirl together and Paes was pretty sure he saw Roger, smiling and, perhaps most disconcerting of all, calm as he waited, the last man in Tucson. Nevertheless, Senor Paes swung the business end, then hesitated, thereby accidentally burning the image in his mind forever, then swung again and followed through. And then there was nothing but him, and his invention, and The Beast which whirred and smoked and then settled back to blinking. Contentedly? He wasn’t sure.

In many ways he was God. He’d unmade whatever that last idiot threw together in less than a week and remade something else, which blinked, and he considered that an improvement over that last, unblinking iteration of reality.

Still he was disturbed. He could shut the whole thing off. They’d stay there, he assumed, frozen and waiting. That is, if he could figure out how to turn it off. He was pretty sure he put the switch around somewhere but something about The Beast made it hard to map. He could take a good swing at the thing. Would that be the end of it? Or would it somehow absorb itself and create something new entirely?
But then there was really only one way this could play out, wasn’t there? He adjusted the business end with the Richter sharp spike sticking outward. He drew back, and then Senor Paes swung his head forward with all his strength.

“Wheeeeeeeee!”

2
Plenty of exercise, fresh air, personally fulfilling. It's a good job.

3
Principia Discussion / Re: How do you spell "Eris"?
« on: January 30, 2015, 02:18:38 pm »
F*#$!

5
Aneristic Illusions / Re: SARAH PALIN IS ACTUALLY RUNNING!
« on: January 28, 2015, 10:09:54 pm »
I hope she picks Ron Paul as her vice.

Is Ron Paul still alive?

You can't kill an idea, man.

6
Or Kill Me / Re: Autism adhd and rough drafts for forensic.
« on: January 28, 2015, 04:57:49 pm »
Buncha fucks got me on Ritalin as a kid.  Didn't help, because I don't have ADHD, I'm just an asshat.

They tried the same thing with my son, because he was on his own wavelength.  I refused.  He grew up happy and normal, with a 3.8 GPA in high school.

I don't have any idea of the validity of ADHD.  I just know that it's fucking over-diagnosed.

LMNO posted a really great article a few months back about how ADHD is one of those diseases that's simultaneously underdiagnosed and overdiagnosed. I wish I could remember what thread that was in. It might be a good resource for Meunster.

7
Or Kill Me / Re: Autism adhd and rough drafts for forensic.
« on: January 28, 2015, 04:27:33 pm »
That's a pretty outrageous accusation to be throwing at an entire field without any supporting evidence. Can you cite a documented case where a psychiatrist diagnoses and prescribes pills to bleed their clients dry of money? Or better, can you provide a statistic of the number of psychiatrists who have been found guilty of medical malpractice for misdiagnoses? Have you taken into account the availability of psychiatric counseling on major health insurances, and the cost of ongoing therapy vs. prescriptions? How about the role major pharmaceutical companies play? Right now you're just presenting some kind of bizarre conspiracy theory.

8
Aneristic Illusions / Re: SARAH PALIN IS ACTUALLY RUNNING!
« on: January 28, 2015, 04:02:31 am »
This is the best day of my life.

 :sad:

Dammit, I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

Dok, Sarah Palin always runs.

She's been running every 1460 days of December for the last 102200 days of December 2014.

9
I shoveled myself out of two feet of snow for an hour and a half, eased my two door Honda Civic onto the roads, and drove to work at 20 mph.  :kingmeh:

10
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: A letter.
« on: January 27, 2015, 03:10:58 am »
 :lulz:

This whole Chris Kylie Jenner Kardashian thing has gotten out of hand.

11
That image bothers me in ways I find hard to describe.

First off, it's perfectly transparent about advertising snickers. But, it doesn't even get their ad right.

Second, it implies that (1) a firearm can take confectionery as ammunition, (2) Snickers bars are readily available in a combat zone, (3) gloves are required to handle candy bars, and (4) a damage bonus against enemies with peanut allergies is worth the required skill investment into weapon modification

In other words, the person who initially made it completely failed (on many levels) to comprehend the basic ideas of both weapon modification and candy bar commercials, and yet decided to combine them anyway. Probably, if I posted this rant to him directly, he'd have a hissy fit and complain about how I'm ruining his fun.

I guess what really bothers me is that the world contains people like the one who made that photo and posted it initially without realizing anything was wrong with it.

 :lulz:

I'd forgotten about that one.

12
:lulz:

They asked me why I needed a catapult on an aircraft carrier. They lacked vision.

It's for launching planes.

Among other things.

Not the one the cook got. Teach that fucker to water down my coffee.

13
 :lulz:

They asked me why I needed a catapult on an aircraft carrier. They lacked vision.

14
Some guy joined the army after 9/11 and ended up shooting a bunch of people in Iraq (because of reasons).  Clint Eastwood made a film about it, with his usual subtle and nuanced approach to political issues.

 :lulz:

15
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Back Hurt
« on: January 24, 2015, 07:29:42 pm »
We have a thetan wall?

Fuck.

WELL GOOD JOB EVERYONE, THAT WAS A NICE SECRET FORUM WE HAD THERE ONCE

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