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Messages - President Television

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1
Sorry, I had to record Cop Rock.

2
I think mine's leaking. There's sort of a fetid pus oozing out around the edges.

3
Goddammit, I just popped in for the sole purpose of being the first person to post a thread about this.

Suu, this whole "we actually live really really close to each other" thing isn't going to go peacefully for long if you keep STEALING MY BRAINWAVES.

Clearly, witchcraft is to blame.

4
WaffleGF is at the hospital with her father, who is in the final stages of bladder cancer.
I'm at home, with the dog, the rats and the rabbits. Feeling awfully helpless and lonesome.

That's too bad.

5
Living with my grandparents has brought all kinds of interesting surprises. For example, my grandparents are islamophobes. They aren't too fond of Sikhs in the RCMP either; apparently, mounties with turbans are a violation of Canadian identity. Whatever that is. They kept talking about it as "giving in" or "surrendering"; I wasn't aware that Canada was engaged in a holy war with Sikhs. Needless to say, I'm disappointed in them. They're usually intelligent, lucid, kind people, and my grandfather in particular is a retired history teacher who was alive during World War II. They should really know better.

6

I don't know about everyone else, but I don't dislike conspiracy theorists because I'm afraid of the reptilian boogeyman. I dislike them for half-assing their critical thinking. Like, yeah, you question authority. Of course. That's the first step. But it's just the first step. Not listening to what the government tells you doesn't give everyone else that wants you to believe something carte blanche to root around inside your cranium and plant woo-selling mystical bullshit marketing memes. My problem with conspiracy theorists isn't that they're too paranoid, it's that they're not paranoid enough. They're too gullible. Too addicted to exclusive knowledge and fitting into their little fan clubs to genuinely give a shit one way or another about the truth. I piss on your Alex Jones, and your David Icke, and both of their piddly little "secrets". Think for yourself, schmuck.

So goddamn true, and so well put! I find a particular troubling irony in those who are rightfully skeptical of the intentions of our profit-driven corporate system, yet completely abandon skepticism when it comes to the multi-billion-dollar alternative health market.

Which is itself a part of the profit-driven corporate system. It amazes me how much branding alone can do to make something palatable to the new-age crowd. It kinda all clicked into place for me a while back when someone (it might have been you) was talking about anti-vaxxers and the fact that it seems they're perfectly aware of the health risks and simply choose not to vaccinate as a result of social pressure.

7
I'm already feeling more alive. Someone shared this on Facebook and I wrote up a response:


Quote
I don't know about everyone else, but I don't dislike conspiracy theorists because I'm afraid of the reptilian boogeyman. I dislike them for half-assing their critical thinking. Like, yeah, you question authority. Of course. That's the first step. But it's just the first step. Not listening to what the government tells you doesn't give everyone else that wants you to believe something carte blanche to root around inside your cranium and plant woo-selling mystical bullshit marketing memes. My problem with conspiracy theorists isn't that they're too paranoid, it's that they're not paranoid enough. They're too gullible. Too addicted to exclusive knowledge and fitting into their little fan clubs to genuinely give a shit one way or another about the truth. I piss on your Alex Jones, and your David Icke, and both of their piddly little "secrets". Think for yourself, schmuck.

RAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.
 :crankey:  :madbanana: :rogpipe: :nuke2: :walken: :love: :jihaad: :mccain: :cramstipated:

8
Just got to Toronto. Felt good literally the moment I got out of the taxi. I plan to go for a walk first thing tomorrow morning, just so I can head off my habit of staying shut in before it even starts. I really think this'll be a good summer for me.

9
Two days from now, I'm moving to Toronto. I'll have a job when I get there, and it appears that things are beginning to go well for a change, in spite of the temporary indignity of staying at my grandparents' place. I've had progress in therapy here, and I've begun to identify at least one of the mechanisms behind my behaviors. If I spend the summer establishing a routine to methodically adjust this mechanism, maybe I'll even be a functioning human being by winter.

10
A spring haiku:

flowers aren't worth this
drippy goddamn misery
tweet tweet little bird

11
Somehow, I cut my finger on a pizza box. I blame Richter.

12
God dammit Bear.  :argh!:

13
This is uncanny.  I said fuck it and timed the commercials.  They are almost precisely 10 minutes apart (+/- 30 seconds), and there are exactly 1 per commercial break, last commercial, 6 per hour.

The level of saturation is HUGE.  The Koch Brothers must be spending a few hundred thousand in Southern Arizona alone.

That's horrifying. I don't envy you.

14
All these labels and descriptors to box ourselves in. Why can't we all just be Transhuman?

Oooh.

I can now actually describe myself as something that no one has ever described themselves before.

Twid,
Cishuman

I guarantee you it's been done on Tumblr.

15
So I got to go to the hospital today. Thanks, vodka!

Glad you're presumably ok. And vodka will do that.

Yeah, I'm pretty much fine now and laughing my ass off. Basically, my body started rejecting water whenever I tried to drink it. I had to get an IV drip so I could take in fluids without vomiting them back up. I can't eat anything really substantial for a couple of days, but I should be fine in the long term. Also, I get to tell people that I've been poisoned, which sounds so much cooler than "sick".

What's odd is that this exact thing happened to me a couple of years ago when I tried eating food from my workplace.

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