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Messages - ThatGreenGentleman

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1
Or Kill Me / Re: Please stop eating shit
« on: March 13, 2014, 04:58:14 am »
So, wait. You're getting upset because destitute people eat sweet food when they have a choice?

I hadn't explored it that deeply actually. What it is is this;

I spend a certain amount of hours a week really putting honest time in with these citizens trying to improve their lives. The problem is, they have made and continue to make all the wrong choices. Consistently. Sometimes it does come down to a choice as small as breakfast.

Obviously I can't fault them too hard, I am the one providing the shit after all. I am the shit supplier, the shit dealer if you will.

Wow it sounds like they're adults who can make their own decisions about what they eat. Having a healthy diet is important, but if they want to eat a twinkie every now and then, then let them eat the fucking twinkie.

2
Or Kill Me / The Golem Maker
« on: March 12, 2014, 03:23:15 am »
Mud
Clay
Ashes of bones
and a little bit of life all mixed together.
Bake it in blood and sweat in fire hotter than Hell
Give it teeth to bite and eat
and fingers to work and grasp
But give it no eyes to see
and no tongue to speak
Lest the Golem devour your soul.


   Long ago when the earth still whispered and people listened to its secrets there were golems. Such lonely creatures they were, born from fire and earth but no parents. Instead, there were made by people who knew the craft of building golems. No one remembers who made the rules about the craft, such as golems must never have eyes or tongues, perhaps so people wouldn't feel bad about mistreating them. Rules are rules though no matter how ridiculous they seem (such as "Never let a golem be bathed in the light of a full moon") and the Makers held to them with a death grip and no one questioned them. You'd think that with time people would start to treat golems better, maybe allow them to speak or see, but you'd be so very, very wrong. Nothing got better for them, it stayed the same for the most part. Golems were bought and sold, the more rough looking ones used for farm work or blacksmithing or other lowly work while the more well crafted, decorated ones were purchased by the rich to be used as nannies or stewards or entertainment. There were some, however, who served no one whether it be because they escaped or they were no longer needed or whatever the reason. They were the ones who usually turned to more unpleasant type of work.

   Things did change for the better for the golems, but I'm getting ahead of myself. The one to change all of this was a golem called Gol who had a shiny head of metal, which was uncommon for his kind during that time, and he was to be publicly executed with a hammer (supposedly he killed his master) if no one would buy him. Gol would hiss at any who tried to approach him to scare them off and so the hour of his execution was soon upon him and he surely would have died had a voice from the crowd not spoken up.

   "Wait! I wish to buy the golem!" The voice cried. The auctioneer shaded his eyes with a gloved hand, peering into the crowd to see where the voice was coming from. A small, round hand gripped his coat and tugged at it. He looked down. It was a small girl with a pouch of clinking coins. The auctioneer smiled.
   "Are you sure, young lady? This golem is very dangerous and I'm sure a child's allowance wouldn't be enough to buy it," the auctioneer told her in an overly sweet voice. The girl stared blankly at him and he soon grew uneasy.
   "I wish to buy the golem," she repeated with a slight edge to her tone. She then opened the bag to reveal enough money to buy Gol several times over. The face of the auctioneer looked like a gaping fish's. The girl counted out the money and had the man holding the hammer release Gol. The golem hissed at the girl but she merely took his hand and led him home through the winding brick streets and down alley ways. Gol never stopped hissing the entire time.

   Once they arrived outside of a ramshackle hut in an alley the girl looked up at the golem and pointed at a patch of dirt and said, "I know you can't speak but you can write. What's your name?" He let go of her hand and wrote with his index finger in the dirt G O L, though they were a bit shakey and he continued to hiss. She told him that his name wasn't very pretty or creative but she liked that it was simple to remember. The small girl told him she was called Lise.

   The hour grows late but the tale is far from over. Gather 'round tomorrow night for more.

3
Or Kill Me / Re: The Strange Misadventures of Skull Kid
« on: September 30, 2013, 02:59:25 am »
   Jerald Andrew Velina, or Javelina as he was known among his peers, was running through a strange wood that definitely did not belong in Tucson. It had showed up out of nowhere and the humans didn't seem surprised by it, acting as if it had always been there, which was strange. Strange enough to warrant Javelina being chosen by the Lady to go and investigate it since Skull Kid, Greyson, and Coyote were in the sewers looking for the pipe killer. He wished he had asked Buffalo to join him, but now it was too late. Javelina stopped to catch his breath when he heard the sound of small feet hitting the earth getting closer and closer, as well as the childish giggles. Running once more, he chanced a quick glance over his shoulder; his pursuers were light on their feet and jeered at him with big grins plastering their faces. Fear seized his heart as he sped up. He did not like the glint in their eyes and the hatchets and rusty pipes in their hands.

   Suddenly, he fell. There had been more of them waiting to ambush him. Gathered in a circle around him, they began to attack him with baseball bats, hatchets, bike chains, and their faces became painted with a vibrant red. They cheered and shrieked in delight as his cries of pain began to die out. Like a pack of wild animals, once their prey was dead, they ran into the night with faces painted red, and warbling with cracking voices.

End of part 11.

4
Or Kill Me / Re: The Strange Misadventures of Skull Kid
« on: September 18, 2013, 04:29:29 am »
   Skull Kid was growing weary. He was telling more than he ever thought was possible and it was beginning to show, at least it was to him. His hands were trembling and starting to unravel which was a bad sign. Still he pressed on and with the story of the end. If Francine didn't get there before he finished with this last tale it would be the end of everyone in the room.

   In the future, not the distant future, but also not the near future, the world will end. Not with a holy war between Heaven and Hell, not with the sun dying, and most certainly not with invading moon people. No, the world will end strange shadow creatures and with rains of fire and strange shooting stars racing across the sky and bombs and in some places a winter without end because there is no sun to warm up the earth. The end will be terrible and painful and everyone will go down kicking and screaming at each other and the human race and its gods will die. All will be forgotten and that is probably the saddest way for something with so much potential to end. The start of the end begins with a man and his son in a cemetery. The end begins with death.

   It's a quiet death, belonging to a woman who was married to the man and gave birth to the son. The man never got over her death and his son never questioned it, but he felt no loss as he did not remember his mother. The child allows his father a few moments of grief by wandering off into the cemetery. He doesn't go too far, but far enough to not hear his father's quiet crying. As he walks farther into the line up of mausoleums and crumbling tombstones the boy notices a strange wrinkled old woman with dark skin walking towards him. She has no eyes but he knows she is looking at him.

     "Dear boy, what are you doing all alone in this place of death?"
   He responds by telling the eerie old woman that he's here to mourn with his father.
     "How can you mourn someone you don't miss?" the old woman replies with a far too wide grin.
   It's what you're supposed to do he tells her in a matter of fact tone.
     "But you hate it, don't you." It's not even a question.
   The boy's face turns an angry red as he yells that he doesn't hate his mother.
     "You do, don't deny it. It's a sin to lie to the elderly."
   He no longer tries to protest.
     "Look here boy, if you're so desperate to prove that you don't hate her, let's make a deal." She beckons him closer so as to whisper.
   The boy leans in closely to hear her ever so quiet voice.
     "I'll give you powers beyond your wildest imagination, powers to bring back dear old mother, the power to do anything at all, in exchange for something with which you use to see."

   Young and foolish, the boy agreed. He thought she was going to take his glasses but he was wrong. The old woman grinned and he realized that it wasn't that she had no eyes, her eyes were black holes (like the ones in space) and he grew frightened. No sound was made as she took his eyes. All was quiet as the old woman stepped into the young boy's body through his empty eye sockets. Sound came back when the eyeless boy grinned.

   The rain of fire begins in Russia. Nowhere was safe, not even going under ground. When the fire touched the ground it burned right through it and kept going and going and going.

   In the United States midwest a dustbowl began to happen, except much worse. People were trapped in their houses for weeks because so much dust and dirt was blowing about. When it finally ended and the people came out of their houses. They soon wished that the dust and dirt were still in the air because a strange snow and chill began to fall all about them. The sun was blocked out by unusual clouds.

   In the south a '58 Thunderbird chased after gigantic shadow monsters with glowing blue eyes, and the people in the towns and cities stared at the sky as strangely colored shooting stars raced across the sky like children playing tag.

   An unknown bomb goes off in a town in Japan, only a man and his infant daughter survive but are stranded in the wreckage.

   Civilization soon begins to collapse as-"


   Skull Kid is interrupted as the pouches of salt explode in the air above him. The creatures begin to shriek in pain and slither towards the black door, hissing at the offender. Francine walks into the room with a smirk on her face.

   "Can't take my eyes off you boys for a minute and you get yourselves kidnapped by a bunch of slugs."

   The creature who had delivered the message slides off her shoulder and slithers to Skull Kid. "Where is my reward ancient one?" Skull Kid quietly looks over at Francine helping down Greyson and a complaining Carlos. They seem to be out of earshot. He looks back at the creature on his shoulder. "Your reward," he begins before one of his hands goes down his throat and retrieves the stories he has told, "Is that you'll bear the burden of these stories." It shrieks again and tries to slither away, but Skull Kid grabs it quickly and shoves the words into its mouth. The creature begins to unravel and trembles. "If you wanted something good you should've stayed on the other side."

   The creature continues to unravel until there is nothing left of it. The black door closes and disappears without a sound and no one remembers that it was ever there,except for a disappointed Skull Kid.

End of part 10.

5
Or Kill Me / Re: The Strange Misadventures of Skull Kid
« on: September 16, 2013, 05:37:35 am »
   The slimy creature led Skull Kid to just outside of a large room, which was most definitely not man-made, covered in slime. Although they weren't in the room he knew Carlos and Greyson were in there because it was hard not to hear Carlos' whining about his suit being ruined and how Greyson didn't understand how expensive dry-cleaning could be. The creature looked at Skull Kid (well, not so much looked but more of turned towards him as its species doesn't have eyes) and gurgled while baring its teeth, "So how will you save your servants, ancient one? You can't possibly take on all of them at once." Skull Kid glanced at the creature before looking back at the room, "They're not my servants. And don't you worry about what I'll do. What you need to worry about is getting my message to Francine, and make haste or I'll put you in a stew." It gave a quiet hiss before slithering off, leaving Skull Kid by himself. What it said was true, he couldn't take on all of the slimy creatures by himself, he wasn't properly equipped. What he could do though was distract them long enough until Francine arrived with what he needed. That is, if the creature delivered her message in time. Taking a deep breath, Skull Kid stepped into the large room, while making the strange static noise, and walked until he reached the center. Once there, he sat down and when the creatures gathered around, ready to get him, he began to tell a story.

   Long ago, before this world was made, there existed another world that would become parallel to this one. In the other world, when it was still young, there lived only one being. There are many disputes as to what this being looked like, but the most popular interpretation of how it looked is that it was a being with two arms, two legs, a torso, and a giant eye for a head. The being roamed the world, looking for another living creature. It searched for centuries but never found one. One day the being thought to itself "Why am I searching for what I know does not exist?" as it sat beside a lake. As it pondered, it noticed a strange, new type of earth in the lake's water and it grabbed a handful of it. Noticing that the new earth was easy to shape, an idea dawned on the being. Why not make living creatures itself? Spending days and nights digging out the earth the being finally had enough to start crafting. It took many months to finish making them and when it was done it realized there was a problem; it could not give them the breath of life for it had no mouth. It began to weep for it was still alone after having spent so much time on the new creatures that stood still as statues. Someone or something must have taken pity on the lonely being for a gust of wind blew by and breathed life into the statues and the being stopped weeping. Looking at the new creatures it rejoiced for it was no longer alone. The joy was short lived, however, as the creatures soon ran in fright from the being. It pleaded with them to not run for it meant them no harm, they did not listen for they were young and could not hear it for it could not speak. Alone once more, but now lonelier than before, the being dug its way to the center of the world and made a loom out of stone to weave dreams where it would be accepted by the others. It weaved many dreams, but none were what it was looking for, so it threw the dreams up the hole it had dug from the surface and the dreams attached themselves to the creatures each night but were gone by morning. It is said that to this day, in that other world, this is how dreams come to be.

   When Skull Kid was done with the tale he noticed that even Greyson and Carlos were listening intently as well as the slimy creatures. He wished Francine would arrive soon for if he told too many stories a price would be paid, one that he can't pay, not yet. Nevertheless he continued onto the next one...

End of part 9.

6
Or Kill Me / Re: The Strange Misadventures of Skull Kid
« on: August 25, 2013, 06:17:32 am »
   It was a dark and stormy night, as most nights were in Tucson towards the end of summer (because of the Monsoon season), and Carlos was having a terrible time of it. On most Saturday nights Carlos would be out and about the city looking for rumors and harassing the stupid, but on this night he found himself stuck in the sewers with Greyson, Skull Kid, a few flashlights and no nose plugs. This was the best alternative they could come up with to find the drain pipe monster since they couldn't shrink down to go get it (which wouldn't be very advisable even if they could for they had no idea what it looked like or what it could do, other than drag people into the pipes). After they walked for quite a ways they reached an intersection with three tunnels leading in opposite directions and they had two options:

1) Split up and cover more ground and save on time (Never go with this option. Reality isn't like a Scooby Doo cartoon, you fool).

Or

2) Stick together and search all three tunnels which will eat up a lot of time.

   Since they were crunched for time before the drain pipe monster struck again (and none of them had actually seen a horror movie to know the full consequences of splitting up when there's a killer on the loose*) they opted for #2 and went their separate ways. Carlos had been walking for a total of 20 minutes before he felt something watching him. It was another 15 before he heard a greasy, unpleasant voice beckon for him to come closer...

     Nighttime Fear found that the lemon grove was only the start of the madness to come. Time passed slowly like a trickle of water, and the screams never ended. When one died out another soon took its place. When She had come back, she was obviously different. The changes were subtle at first, but eventually those subtle changes had turned into a completely different being. No place was safe, except for the marshlands, but even there it was still quite dangerous. This time, however, there was no old woman with dark voids in her eyes. Instead, there were a few who had managed to escape her wrath and hide in the swamps. He thought he had finally made friends, but he was wrong. There were no such things as friends in a world like this...

   Skull Kid, even though he was currently walking in a smelly sewer, was happy. He felt like he was making friends, although Greyson seemed like a stiff character and Carlos claimed that he was only "friends" with people he could use, things were looking up for once (though the two corpses of the drain pipe monster's victims would disagree). He was lost in his thoughts, until he saw something he recognized and never thought he'd see again. It slithered a few feet ahead of him and he stilled instantly. The fact that it hadn't noticed him yet was a miracle, so he began to creep towards it ever so slowly before he snatched it up and it began to shriek and writhe in his clutches. Its thousand of tiny teeth bit hard into his flesh and its sticky flesh began to grow over his hand until he opened his mouth as if to speak, but no words came out, only the sounds of static that grew louder and louder could be heard in that tunnel. When the slimy creature quieted down Skull Kid whispered to it "Show me the way to the nest" and set it down. It began to slither farther down the tunnel and Skull Kid followed it into the dark.

   Greyson was going to throttle the living daylights out of Carlos if they made it out of this alive, though their chances were looking rather slim at the moment. At this point in time, they were stuck to a wall that was covered in slime as were they (Carlos was stuck to it upside down while Greyson was right side up). From what Greyson had gathered from Carlos' incessant whining and complaining, the trickster had been put under one of the creature's spell and had no recollection of how he ended up there. As for Greyson, the creature's beckoning did not phase him, however there had been a swarm of them and they had somehow blanked out his memory of how he ended up there as well.
   Their current location seemed to be the nest as there were quite a few of the repulsive little things slithering about, adding coat upon coat of slime to the walls and ceiling. As Carlos was still complaining, Greyson took the opportunity to survey the area from the wall they were stuck to, and noticed something odd; a black door, covered in slime as well, that was wide open.

End of part 8.

*Carlos has actually seen a horror movie, but only once. It was the 1922 Nosferatu, but it had scared him so much that he never saw another horror movie again.

7
Or Kill Me / Re: The Strange Misadventures of Skull Kid
« on: July 26, 2013, 06:15:57 am »
   Wanda wasn't a happy person. She used to be, but that was a long time ago, before she met this schmuck she had fallen for and moved in with. Wanda tried to figure out how everything turned into this downward spiral as she sliced some lemons, and the only answer she could come up with was that she was naive. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He sat on the couch and was talking to "Ned" who was most likely that doe eyed girl from the bar they went to last night who kept giving him bedroom eyes. She couldn't tell what made her angrier; the fact that her boyfriend was doing a piss poor job of hiding that he planning on fucking doe eyes or that doe eyes was stupid enough to want to get involved with an asshole like him. The schmuck got up after hanging up the phone, said something about meeting up with "Ned" before leaving to take a shower. Anger boiled within Wanda as she began to slice the lemons more vigorously. That is, until she heard someone speaking to her from the sink pipes. Her hands stilled as she listened closely to the voice. At first it sounded greasy and disgusting, but eventually turned smooth and pleasant as it beckoned her closer. Her eyes glazed over and she turned towards the sink as the voice continued to call out to her. "Oh my, it seems I've gotten myself stuck. Would you be so kind as to lend a hand, my dear?" the voice asked. Wanda said nothing as she stuck her arm down the pipe. She never said a word as it dragged her down the pipe, the sound of bones cracking and crushing from the kitchen and the bathroom were the only things to be heard in the apartment.

   The light was bright enough to blind, but he did not mind it. He stretched his limbs as he stood, and smiled as he looked at the beautiful scenery of her home. A few of the others who lived here smiled and greeted him as they passed, and he politely returned their greetings. He wondered where she had run off to, but figured she'd return eventually so he made his way down the hill towards the lemon grove. He didn't know why, but the smell of lemons was pleasant for him. He plucked a fresh lemon from its branch and bit into it. It tasted delicious at first, but then the taste changed drastically and he couldn't quite place it, until he looked down at the fruit. No longer was it an ordinary fruit, it was now filled with clumps of hair and teeth. He felt bile rise up the back of his throat and vomited up what he had eaten and dropped the lemon that was no longer a lemon. He felt even worse when he looked at the other lemon trees and saw that the bark had turned to flesh that was warm to the touch. He heard screams in the distance, probably the fruit farmers, but he could nothing but stand there quaking with fear.

   Skull Kid hated the smell of lemons. The fact that the apartment that he and Carlos were investigating was drenched in the stench of the cursed yellow fruit was enough to make Skull Kid want to show more emotion than he was accustomed to and run screaming for the hills. However, due to the deal he had been forced to make with the Lady to prove that he wasn't the one who killed Samuel and Camilla Stag by helping Carlos and Greyson find out who really did it. Didn't mean he had to enjoy any of this, but a deal is a deal and where he comes from, those who don't honor a deal usually end up with their innards on the ground and he'd rather not risk finding out if that same unspoken rule was used in this world.

   The apartment belonged to a woman named Wanda Cartwright, who had been in her mid-twenties, and her boyfriend, whose name could not be read from the lease because his handwriting was atrocious. There was no mystery about how they were killed, for Wanda, the poor girl, had been dragged pretty far down the kitchen sink pipe and the only part of her that was still visible was her legs from the knee down. Her toes were still twitching. Her boyfriend died in the same way, though instead of being dragged down a sink he had been dragged down the shower drain pipe and only his left arm was still visible.The only mystery here was, why were they killed? They had no connection to Stag or the Court, so why them? And why pipes?

End of part 7.

8
Or Kill Me / Re: The Strange Misadventures of Skull Kid
« on: July 06, 2013, 04:04:37 am »
   "No light, no light, no light..." He was growing tired of this chanting that could be heard close by. They were up to something again, something that was most likely stupid and savage. Rubbing his eyes in exasperation, he rose from his seat and strode down the grassy hill towards the chanting. Soon enough the beings that were the source of the chanting came into view. They were small, barely three feet high, and they looked malnourished and their skin was a deep blue. He came closer and closer to them still, until their inky black eyes were fixed upon him and they began to clack their blood stained teeth together, creating a chittering sound.

   "Quit it with the chanting, you won't summon your Lord. He's been dead for a long time now, so leave," he said and turned on his heel. He stopped when one of them spoke. They never spoke except to chant, so it was appropriate that a chill ran up his spine.

   "We summon our Lord for when he fell you grew from his corpse, Nighttime Fear. So it is only we right that we wish for him to come back from the Land of the Dead. You sit upon his throne yet do nothing to live up to his name." They went back making their chittering noises and formed their circle once more and began to chant. He watched them for a while, until they brought out a screaming child. He felt sick because he knew what they were about to do; they were going to eat it alive. He walked away as fast as he could before the sounds of ripping flesh could reach his ears. Why they thought eating a creature alive would bring back their Lord, no one knew. He fled from the darkness towards her, towards the one who could chase his fears away.

   She welcomed the him into her arms and cooed at him like the child he was. She knew he hated having to live in the old Lord's realm, but he had no choice since he sprung from his bones. There it was cold and dark, but here, where she resided, it was warm and bright. She wished she could find a way to send him away from that, but there was none that was known. The best she could do at the moment was comfort the child King of the old Lord's realm and hope that someday, she would be able to send him far, far away from this...


   Coyote and Fox knew what was going to happen next. Their peers were going to demand Skull Kid's blood, whether or not he was the one who killed Stag. The fact that the Lady suggested that it might've been him would be enough to sway their emotions. They had to act fast, or it could mean the end of Skull Kid. Fox immediately spoke up, asking questions so as to distract the Lady long enough for Coyote to sneak his way down to the pit. Skull Kid quickly glanced at Coyote, but then focused his gaze back onto the Lady. She was an enemy and you never keep your eyes off of your enemy long unless you want wish to die. Coyote whispered to him, "We can get you out of here, but you're going to need your guitar to do it. Where is it?" Skull Kid slightly inclined his head over to Greyson, who stood by the Lady's throne in the shadows. Coyote cursed under his breath. Of fucking course Greyson would have it. He must've found out somehow about what had happened at the bar on Skull Kid's first night playing there. Coyote crawled out of the pit, thankfully no one noticed as they were too caught up in Fox's debate with the Lady over what should be done and whatnot.

   Sneaking up on Greyson is impossible. Coyote knew that and yet he still tried. As soon as he touched the guitar with his paw, Greyson grabbed him by his scruff and said in a low voice, "What do you think you're doing?" Coyote knew it was time for some serious begging. "Greyson, please, I need that guitar. It's the only way to get the kid out of here. He didn't kill Stag, he's completely innocent of all of this. All he wants is to go home." Greyson stared at him for a few moments, never once blinking, before sighing heavily and muttering something about "Damn gods always thinking they can get away with anything" before setting him down and allowing him to take the guitar. "You owe me," Greyson told him as he snuck his way back down into the pit. Good timing too, because the Lady was beginning to become frustrated with Fox. Coyote cut the bonds on Skull Kid's wrists and hissed, "Do what you did at the bar and slowly make your way towards the door. As soon as you get there, run." And moved back to his seat in the Court without being noticed. Skull Kid flexed his hand before strumming a few chords on his guitar to gain everyone's attention. Everyone looked surprised, except for Fox and Coyote, and the Lady who looked enraged. She stalked towards him but stopped as soon as he began to play. Then, he did what he did best. He sang.

End of part 6.

9
Or Kill Me / Re: The Strange Misadventures of Skull Kid
« on: June 08, 2013, 05:41:52 pm »
   A heavy fog was all around him, as if it were a veil to keep him blind. He could feel mud and grass in between his toes and knew immediately where he was. "The marshlands," he whispered to himself. Carefully tugging his legs free from the mud's embrace he began to walk. As he went deeper into the marshlands the fog was still thick and the mud began to rise up to his stomach, but he kept going. After getting stuck a couple of times, he found what he was looking for, though he didn't know why he had been. A small fire in the distance and a house on stilts keeping it out of the mud. The mud began to recede as he climbed up the steps to the house on stilts. He knocked once, twice, three times and the door swung open to reveal an old wrinkled woman whose skin was very dark. She smiled up at him and invited him in. She sat him down at an old wooden table and gave him a bowl filled with murky liquid and questionable ingredients.

     "What brings you all the way out here to the marshlands, ancient one?" she asked him as she went over to a large cauldron, stirring what was highly likely the same murky liquid with questionable ingredients.
     "I do not know," he said quietly, hand reaching up to the back of his head to rub at the soreness he felt. "And I am not ancient, I haven't been around for even 20 years." The old woman let out a hearty laugh which seemed to make the house on stilts shake.
     "Perhaps where you're from you are young, but where you are now, their time flows differently, so there you are ancient. You're even older than their gods. You were born long before them and you'll die long after they do. You'll live long enough to see the fall of their civilizations, to see them scramble around to survive, to see them build anew. You'll live long enough to see the last star flicker out of existence." As soon as the last sentence slipped from her mouth, he understood what she meant. She turned to look at him, and he noticed for the first time, she opened her eyes. Two black voids where her eyes should be bored right into him. "You will see the end of your people. You will see the end of all things, ancient one."
     "Stop calling me that."
     "I could call you by your other names, if you would prefer that, though ancient one is probably the kindest one," she said as she closed her eyes and returned to stirring the cauldron. "Now drink your soup, Nighttime Fear." He glared at the back of her head as he lifted the bowl to his lips and drank. As soon as all of it was gone he immediately regretted drinking it. Everything began to spin and swirl and he felt mud between his toes again. He felt sick. Attempting to stand was a bad idea too, for as soon he tried he pitched forward into the mud and was swallowed whole, as the old woman laughed.


   Skull Kid's eyes flew open as the soreness in the back of his head began to throb. Staying absolutely still, his eyes flicked all over the room he was in. The walls and floor were gray stone and there were no windows. There was only a door and its color did not matter because it was not black.

   Carlos Oscar Yote was not happy at the moment. He had business to take care of, people to trick, but the Lady was calling Court, so that meant everyone had to show up. Which also meant he had to go in his original form, just like everyone else. He remembered that rule as he was walking down the pillared hallway of the Lady's place, and one moment, he was Carlos Oscar Yote, a simple man of possibly Hispanic background in a suit, then another moment passed by and he was Coyote the Trickster. Continuing on his way on four feet this time, he wondered what could possibly be so important that the Lady would call Court. As he got closer to the Court, he saw the others. There was Fox and Buffalo (and the younger Buffalo who stole the herd) and Whale, etc. Coyote fell into step with Fox and whispered, "Why have we been summoned?" Fox looked at him with surprise before replying with "I don't know, I thought you knew, cousin." Dread settled in his stomach, for if not even Fox knew what was going on, then it couldn't possibly be anything good.

   In the Courtroom, after everyone had taken their seats, the Lady, who sat at the front, stood and smiled. It was the kind of smile you see when a predator knows its prey can't escape. "I know you're all very busy, so I'll keep this short." Her smile fell and a stern look replaced it. "As some of you may know, Stag is dead, as is his human wife. His half-breed will most likely take his place." The sounds of gasps and murmurs filled the room momentarily before it quieted down so the Lady could continue. Her red heels clicked as she slowly descended the stairs from her chair down to the pit. "Not only has Stag been killed, but we also have a guest from the other side. An Outcast." The Lady stopped on the last step as the floor of the pit parted and a platform began to rise from the darkness, revealing a confused looking Skull Kid. The Lady stepped onto the pit's floor and walked up to Skull Kid. She began to walk in a predatory circle around him. "An Outcast, who may have killed Stag." The room went deathly silent.

End of part 5.

10
Quick question you guys. Do you think it's rational or irrational to be afraid of straight people? (Explanation is optional)

11
Hey guys, don't know if you remember this guy but he made a video about labels.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks_sJOcOm2k

12
Or Kill Me / Re: The Strange Misadventures of Skull Kid
« on: April 21, 2013, 03:08:15 am »
     Carlos and Franny sat next to Skull Kid and waited for him to elaborate on what he meant by Hell. They waited for what seemed like hours, but what was really only 15 minutes, all the while finally noticing the lack of rise and falling to his chest. It seemed that he didn't need breathe at all, just like he didn't need to sleep. He really wasn't human, but he wasn't like Carlos or Franny either, because even they needed to sleep and breathe. Skull Kid cleared his throat and began to tell them of his home.
     "I may have said my home was Hell, but it isn't. To the people of your world it would certainly seem like the Hell they preach of, yet it is far from it. My home is a place of nightmares and garish colors and the people are not living but they're not dead, they just simply are. Perhaps it is because of their state of existence that has made most of them mad, at least according to this world's view if they ever saw my world. Having spent so much time here even I think of my home as some sort of cruel place where before I thought it normal. But it wasn't always like that, at least I think it wasn't... I remember, back hundreds of years to when I first began to exist, it used to be somewhat happy, and not quite so twisted, but that was so long ago I don't even know if it was really like that."
     "How did you end up here?" Franny asked quietly.
     "I... I did something that was inexcusable in the eyes of someone who I was once close to. She used to be so kind, but then he got to her. Then she wasn't kind anymore. She rose to power and then things became dark and cold, and home wasn't home anymore. Everything was terrifying and so cold and rivers turned red and sticky and trees became soft with flesh and sharp teeth, I remember the sharp teeth. She didn't look like herself anymore and I kept away. Then she requested my presence and everything fell apart, I was stupid and she was bitter and cruel. She banished me through the black door and Maria found me." His blank face seemed to change slightly, fondness tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Maria and Juan took care of me and everything was warm and safe. I forgot about the black door for a while, until I came here." The fondness fled from his face quicker than people fleeing from a hurricane. He looked at Carlos and said, "Sorry about scaring you, there aren't any TV's where I come from and rightly so. The signals were messing with my head." Skull Kid then got up from the couch, shrugged on his mariachi jacket, grabbed his guitar and left for a while in search of his black door.
     "I hope he doesn't run into Greyson, or else he'll end up meeting a grisly end by the Lady," Carlos practically whispered. "I'm beginning to like the little weirdo."

     Greyson was absolutely furious. A 10 car pile up all because the Lady was angry because he didn't know who had killed Stag and his human wife. It took him hours to sort out whose soul belonged to who and where they were to be sent off to. A lot of them had been claimed by a bruja so he had to go get them back before the bruja ate them. Greyson had taken to walking around Tucson to calm himself when he was angry like he was now, just walking aimlessly. Until he bumped into someone. It was a person, not a man yet not a boy, who had strange skeletal patterns on his skin and was wearing a mariachi outfit. Greyson scowled at him until he caught a scent he never thought he would have to encounter ever again. Panic, something he was not use to, gripped him fiercely. He grabbed him by his arm and bit out, "What are you doing here? I thought your Ruler understood to never send outcasts here again." Skull Kid looked up at the strange man but said nothing. Greyson scowled and said, "I'm taking you to the Lady and getting to the bottom of this." With a snap of his fingers a nearby blue door turned red and Greyson dragged Skull Kid through it.

   End of part 4.

13
Or Kill Me / Re: The Strange Misadventures of Skull Kid
« on: April 15, 2013, 12:12:29 am »
     Devils nor saints could save you from him; he'd eat you alive if you so much as looked at him wrong. Standing over seven feet tall and dressed like a cowboy with no sense of color other than black and close enough to black. Under the collar of his button up shirt and leather vest was a skeleton's hand with an eye embedded at the wrist, as if it were a neck tie, so as to unnerve those who would even dare to think of double crossing him. His name was Greyson, and he looked like someone morphed two Clint Eastwoods together. His black boots crunched the pebbles on the ground as he walked, his spurs clinking with each step he took, towards a sobbing young girl who was trying to wake her dead mother. Greyson knelt down in front of the girl and handed her the small bear she had dropped hours earlier. She quieted down a bit before he picked her up and took her to see the Lady. Normally he was never this kind to anyone, but he always had a soft spot for kids.

     The Lady was not pleased to hear of the death of Camilla Stag, the dead mother of the weeping child in Greyson's arms. "Who did this? Who would DARE to step into my city with the intent of murder?" Greyson handed the girl to one of the maids so the the girl would not hear of what was to be said. She was too young to know of this. "We don't know. We think it might be because of the mother." The Lady's face turned red with frustration. "This is why I was so against Samuel Stag wedding a human! Where is he? I want him brought here, now." Greyson knew what would happen when he answered, but he had to speak or the damage would be worse. "Samuel Stag is dead, my Lady. He died protecting his wife and child." The Lady glared at him and opened her mouth to shriek with rage, but the only noise that came out was the sound of cars crashing and metal crushing upon impact. Once she closed her mouth she had a look of defiance on her face. She knew he hated it when she caused accidents as it increased his already overflowing work load. Greyson wondered for a moment about how the Lady could've turned out this way. He was so careful about how he she was raised. She used to be happy and gentle when she was a girl, but now that she had grown she had become cold and spiteful. No wonder almost no one came to her court anymore. He was dragged out of his thoughts when the Lady barked an order at him. "Take care of the mess and find out who killed Samuel Stag. If anyone else is killed let me know immediately." Greyson nodded before exiting through a red door. The Lady sat upon her throne, simmering in rage.

     Carlos had no idea how he got roped into housing Skull Kid. Probably because Franny was clever and tricked him into it. She was almost as good a trickster as he was and it was always a surprise when she tricked him and got away with it. Carlos tugged lightly at his hair, like he always did when he was nervous or pouting because something didn't go his way, and continued walking home with Skull Kid trailing behind him. Something just wasn't sitting right with him. Why would Franny practically order him to not tell the Lady about the kid? Not like he would anyway, since he hadn't been to the Lady's court unless he summoned. Carlos hated not being in the loop of information. He's the Trickster, he's supposed to know all of the dirty secrets and going ons of the court. So what was going on?

     When they entered Carlos' house the blood was gone as well as Bernard, no doubt that he would return.  "You'll be sleeping on the couch. You can watch TV if you want. There's food in the fridge if you want. I'm heading to bed. Don't wake me up unless it's an emergency." Then Carlos was trudging upstairs. He awoke the next morning to a complete mess of the kitchen and Skull Kid watching TV.

     Francine was awoken to her phone ringing angrily in her ear. "Hello?" The voice on the other end was a hysterical Carlos. "You mad woman! You knew this would happen didn't you? You knew and you sent him to make my house into a disaster area." Francine sighed. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
"He doesn't sleep at all apparently, so he practically destroyed my kitchen by eating everything! Somehow he grew taller! I don't even know how that's possible. He's almost as tall as Greyson now! And I don't know if it was something he ate but he drew all over the walls and wrote in some language that doesn't even exist. I should know, I fucking googled it and nothing came up except some really questionable websites. Now he's in some sort of weird TV coma because he can't stop staring at it and doesn't respond at all."
"Did you  try turning the TV off?"
"Yes but he almost ripped my hand off. Do you know how long it takes to grow another hand? A week, Franny. I was dangerously close to spending an entire week regrowing my hand because Skull Kid here can't seem to stop watching TV."
Francine sighed and said she would be over shortly.

     When she got there it was really freaky. Skull Kid was on the couch, staring intently at the TV. His eyes seemed to be whiter than usual, if that was even possible. And Carlos was right, Skull Kid had written on the walls in a language that did not exist and he had apparently grown several inches since yesterday. Carlos was still hysterical, but he was keeping quiet. Francine used the button on the TV rather than the remote to turn it off. That seemed to do the trick because as soon as it was off he seemed to snap out of it. "Skull Kid, what happened?" Francine asked. He blinked a few times, confusion written on his face. "I... I ate food from the fridge and then I don't really remember what happened after that..." Francine looked at the wall behind him and asked, "What does this say?" Skull Kid looked behind him, and as he read guilt seemed to grow on his face. "It says 'I'm sorry, so sorry, please take me home, I'll never do disobey you again.'" When he was done his gaze turned to the floor. Carlos finally spoke since Francine arrived. "What is your home, exactly." Without looking up, Skull Kid replied. "Hell."

   End of part 3.

14
Or Kill Me / Re: The Strange Misadventures of Skull Kid
« on: April 14, 2013, 07:55:07 pm »
    Today was not a good day for Carlos Oscar Yote. It was a worse day for the corpse that laid on the hardwood flooring. Carlos sighed and with bloody hands retrieved a cigarette from his coat pocket. "You know it's a dumb idea to try and attack me, Bernard." The corpse on the ground, Bernard Ulysses Ffalo, grunted and slowly got up from the ground. Now standing on swaying legs he spat blood, "You damn trickster. I oughta report you to the Lady, we'll see how confident you are then!" Carlos only grinned, showing off wolfish teeth. "You're just mad because you lost your herd to Benjamin. You've turned bitter and sour, the Lady will not listen to you and you know it." Bernard threw a punch at him. Carlos side stepped the attack and grabbed a handful of Bernard's dark curling hair and yanked him backwards until the larger man fell back to the floor. "You need to stop ruining my floors and wasting my time," Carlos said calmly as he lit his cigarette. "I have some business to attend to, so I want the blood cleaned up and you gone by the time I get back." Carlos left his house, and a cursing Bernard, behind and walked down the street with bloody hands and still wearing a blood spattered suit.

     He went to his friend's bar. It was a small bar, but a well known one, run by Francine Ox, who had reddish brown hair and dark cunning eyes. Francine was pleased to see him, as she always was, and was telling him about this strange kid who had come into Tucson on a bus when said kid came flying through the doorway that led to some rooms (Francine's bar was also a small hotel). "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Francine yelled at the bear of a man who had thrown the strange kid. "This asshole came bargin' in on me and my girl," the angry man answered. The kid's reply was, "The door was black so I thought it was my way home." This only made the large man even angrier and ran towards the kid. Before anyone could so much as breathe, the kid swung his guitar and hit the man straight in the face with it, breaking the man's nose. The kid's face was completely blank of expression, as if none of this seemed important. Carlos was impressed. Francine broke it up and sent the man back to his room while scolding the kid and pointing towards the stage. The kid nodded and headed towards it.

     Francine went back behind the bar to make some drinks. "So who's the kid, Franny?" She looked up at Carlos. "Introduced himself as Skull Kid. Seemed pretty confused when he got into town. Said he was looking for a black door that's supposed to take him home. I noticed he had a guitar and gave him a job of playing here until he finds his door." Carlos tugged lightly at his short hair, a frown on his face. "You know that whole black door business makes him sound crazy. Especially with all that makeup he has on." Francine smiled at him like there was a joke he wasn't in on. "He's not crazy. And that's not makeup." Her friend looked confused. "So it's a tattoo?" Franny made a buzzing noise to indicate that Carlos was wrong. "Not a tattoo. It's how his skin looks naturally." Carlos' face looked like a cross between horrified and amazed. "How?" She looked at her friend. "From what I gather, even though he looks human he isn't. He's just like us." He looked at her incredulously. "He can't be like us, the Lady would've told us if there was another." Francine looked at him sadly, as if he was a child who just wasn't understanding. "He is like us, but he's not from here. That's why we never heard anything about him from the Lady." Silence fell over the two, but not for long because Skull Kid stepped up to the microphone, guitar in hand, and began to sing.

   End of part 2.

15
Or Kill Me / The Strange Misadventures of Skull Kid
« on: April 13, 2013, 07:40:46 am »
     This is no story of a hero nor a villain, but rather of a person who just happened to be in all the wrong places at the right time. This person was not a valiant knight who rode into battle on horseback. This person was also not an evil necromancer who stood atop a tower, sending forth an army of undead. The point is is that this person was neither of those things because that would be silly and completely out of place, and you should feel ashamed for thinking this would be about knights or wizards. I mean really, do you take this for some sort of nonsense about swords being stuck in a rock? Where was I? Oh yes, as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted, this story is about a person whose name is Skull Kid, and he is not good or evil but he tries to do what he sees as right but that just leads him into a very steep downward spiral. Where should we start? At the end and work backwards? No, that will never do and I'll only confuse myself... Perhaps in the middle? That won't work either because that will confuse both you and I. The beginning you say? Why yes, that should work nicely. And here I thought you only came up with foolish ideas, maybe you'll prove yourself to not be a complete fool before the story is over.

     It was a warm summer day in the desert state of Arizona when this all began. An elderly couple, Maria and Juan, lived far out in the desert by themselves. Maria and Juan had been married for 50 years and all of their children had died before they could have children of their own. Sometimes Maria would forget this and wonder when Antonio, their oldest, would settle down with someone before the painful truth would rear its ugly head and her heart would grow heavy with sadness. Juan would drown his sorrows if he could, but the current state of his liver prevented him from doing so. They remained as happy as they could, Juan would tend to the small number of cattle they had and Maria would take long walks through the desert. Each day Maria would look to the sky during her walk and think "Please, send someone to take away our sorrow." Each day she got no reply.

     One day, however, she got a reply (assuming there was someone who actually heard her request). Maria was on a walk and had gotten to the forked tree that had a strange face shaped growth on it (it was positively grotesque for it looked contorted with rage and rather ugly) when a strange black door appeared. It was a plain door with an ordinary brass handle, in fact so unremarkable was this door that you wouldn't have given a second glance if not for the fact that it was standing up perfectly straight and had not been there before. Curious, the elderly Maria approached the black door cautiously before rapping her knuckles against three times then stepping back. The door swung open and out flew a young lad with an impish face which appeared to be covered in black and white makeup to make his face look like a skull. In fact, his whole body seemed to be covered in makeup to make him look like a skeleton. A short round man, who had thrown the lad out the door, muttered under his breath and closed the door behind him with a loud thud and then the black door was gone.

     Maria went to the boy to make sure he was alright and asked his name. The boy looked at her with a blank expression and merely replied with "Skull Kid." She asked him what happened and he seemed to struggle with forming words much less sentences. She smiled a wrinkled smile and ruffled his white hair, helped him to his feet, and took him back to her and Juan's home.

    Juan was shocked by the story Maria told of how Skull Kid had been thrown through a black door that led to nowhere, though both Maria and Juan were surprised to find out that what they thought was makeup was actually how Skull Kid's skin was naturally. Though his skin was strange, Skull Kid brightened Maria and Juan's lives immensely. Juan taught Skull Kid how to sing and play guitar while Maria taught him to read and write. Sometimes the elderly couple called would call him Antonio or Pedro by mistake and sadness would fill their hearts, but only momentarily. With each passing day Skull Kid grew taller and outgrew his clothes and the only clothing Maria could find for him was Juan's old mariachi outfit. The day Maria gave Skull Kid the mariachi clothing, she knew it was time for him to go out in the world, that they couldn't just keep him at their small ranch. With heavy hearts but sincere smiles, the elderly couple bid farewell to the strange boy at a bus stop not far from their house. As Skull Kid boarded the bus, all he took with him was the mariachi clothes he wore and the old guitar Juan gave him. Those were the only things he took with him to Tucson, for they were the only things he would need.

   End of part 1.

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