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Messages - Don Coyote

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 461
1
Hurry up and wait, airline food, army chow, and foot funk is making me poetical. I haven't shit in 3 days.

2
Tuesday I fly out to Indiana to pretend I'm a soldier for a week.


3
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Where I am
« on: April 20, 2015, 02:01:18 am »
Also, holy shit Coyote. That was amazing.

Thanks ECH.

Also,
This is one hell of a thread.  Thanks for that, ECH.
what LMNO said. So much great in this thread.

4
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: BIG MAN PLANS
« on: April 14, 2015, 08:24:51 pm »
Quote
When I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.

You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.

And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.

WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.

I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.

Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.

We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.

Have you ever seen reconstituted 100% natural thousand year old organically dried coyote poop dust?

5
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: BIG MAN PLANS
« on: April 14, 2015, 08:18:19 pm »
When I am rich, I will buy enough latex to finally protect Portland from the menace that shall remain nameless because I am not rich therefore lack the latex to protect even myself.

6
I have just been informed that nobody beneath the rank of salaried supervisor shall have chairs with armrests.

I am not kidding.  I have been directed to purchase chairs without armrests to replace any such chairs in my department that are not used by me.

I responded affirmatively, and accidentally copied everyone in the North American system.

What the hell is her malfunction?

7
It would be really cool if I could sleep.   :kingmeh:

The Reverend hath murthered sleep and so Howl shall sleep no more. Roger shall sleep no more.

In another 3 hours, I'll break the Holy™ barrier.

Grab your asses, puny humans.

Well that explains why my pance stopped fitting suddenly.

That's only the beginning.  I just shattered my underpance.

I don't even WEAR underpance.

That explains the smell of burning glass.

8
It would be really cool if I could sleep.   :kingmeh:

The Reverend hath murthered sleep and so Howl shall sleep no more. Roger shall sleep no more.

In another 3 hours, I'll break the Holy™ barrier.

Grab your asses, puny humans.

Well that explains why my pance stopped fitting suddenly.

9
I feel like I got the peedees and I need to bore a hole in my skull.

10
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Where I am
« on: April 13, 2015, 10:21:57 pm »
I've been having a lot of sideways times.

Sometimes I got my points plotted, but then some jackhole spills jack all over my map.
Sometimes I got a solid azimuth but then some jackhole peels a magnet from my cover.
Sometimes I got 8 digits but half the digits are letters or flavors.

I got a fresh box of squares and
I got a fresh box of batteries and
I got a fresh box of bullets and
I got a fresh box of rippits and
I got a fresh box of honeybuns but

Then the sky turns orange and
Smells of diesel
Hydraulic fluid
Cutting oils

The t-walls shake

That's not rain but

Then it's rain

I can see where, but can I truly know?
Do I need roads?
Do I need eyes?

I am from the desert.
But the deserts all bleed together.

I look out at the sky.
The flat flat flat white-gray sky.

It's so white it hurts.
It threatens rain, but never rains in my desert.

I look out at the turf.
The ground is green, then yellow, then brown.

They said I was smart.
They said I was well-spoken.
They said I was going places.

They just never said where, or how.

They all assumed I'd know where and how I'd get where I should go.

I can see where I've been.
I can see how I got here.
I still don't know where I am.

I went from one desert
To the desert of the city
(At least it had a beach and solid steel sky)
To the sticky version of the desert the wrong coast has
To a desert I couldn't go out to touch
A timeshare desert
Held in abeyance by t-walls

But here it's cold
and
dank
and
dreary
and the grass never stops growing even though grass and dank and cold and drear don't belong in the desert.

Inside it's still the 80s and 90s
Outside it flips from the 50s to the 60s to the wrong future

 

11
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Where I am
« on: April 13, 2015, 10:08:04 pm »
I'm feeling sideways.

12
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Where I am
« on: April 13, 2015, 09:38:53 pm »
Where am I?

WHERE am I?

Where AM YOU!!

It's a little bit past the time of day when they start issuing out new hours, minutes, and seconds.

My silkies are soaked to my ass, and my compass is spinning.

The XO ran off with my last protractor.

I asked for an 8-digit and can't even get which map I am supposed to be on.

I wake up, sweating, dry-mouthed, fixxing to shit myself.

I wish I had those problems, because you can always just start walking.

Always just start yelling. Leastwise you know how to blame.

Oh no, noon, and the bus is early instead of late and now I'm late for for the last day of the last class only I'm out of bond my paper got printed on greasy tacobell wrappers in too many colors since I'm out of black of toner but plenty of the other kind maybe if I run I can catch the bus only I trip, fall, tumble, the snaps that never come because all my joints were prebroken.

And now?

I'm lost.

Where I am there are no maps.

Or rather all the maps I have are 30 years out of date.

13
Literate Chaotic / Re: Cyborg’s Quandary?
« on: April 10, 2015, 12:00:47 pm »
I would kind of love to read this to my Cognitive Neuroscience class, I think they would dig it.

Not sure the professor would go for it, though. Even assuming you gave your consent for me to read it.

Go for it.

I particularly love it because I am super getting into the whole gut-brain axis thing, how so many of the microbes in our bodies produce the same enzymes, the same functional proteins that we produce, and how this has an effect on our moods and behaviors.

I wasn't even thinking about the potential influence of the human microbiome on us. SO MANY CHEMICALS!!!

It's definitely good enough for publication.

That means a lot coming from you.

14
Literate Chaotic / Re: Cyborg’s Quandary?
« on: April 09, 2015, 02:04:54 pm »
Hey, I missed this one 'cause I was on a plane and shit. Nice work! I like your poetry, you have a gift.

Thanks. I'm starting to get poetry published, so I must be doing something good.

15
Literate Chaotic / Re: Cyborg’s Quandary?
« on: April 08, 2015, 06:48:58 pm »
There is more to mankind than meats the eye.

Great poem!

Thanks.

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