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Messages - Don Coyote

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1
So, new guy (he's been there 2 days longer than me) has a sick wife.  Like in the ICU getting organs removed kinda sick.  Her recovery is not assured.

And he's terrified that I'm going to let him go because he hasn't been to work this week, and he's still a "contingent employee" (also means "no paid time off of any kind").  Instead, I send him database work to do so he can bill hours while he sits next to his unconscious wife, both taking his mind off of a situation he can't control AND letting him make rent.  My boss thinks that makes me a saint.

It doesn't.  It's just good management, for 3 reasons:

1.  That database work needs to be done.
2.  He's not at work in an industrial environment with his head not in the game, so we don't wind up hosing him out of the gears.
3.  Anything I do at this point sends a message, both to him and the rest of the crew.  One message is "if you fall down, go fuck yourself."  this makes a crew go bad.  Another message is "your job is safe, too bad you can't make the rent".  This doesn't inspire hatred, but neither does it inspire loyalty.  The last potential message is "we have your back", and this makes employees feel secure.  And employees that feel secure will make work part of their life, and THAT means better production, better thinking, and all around better lives for everyone.

So what do you know?  They were right about altruism being a survival mechanism.  This isn't goodness, it's just plain pragmatism.

How is this not obvious to everyone?

Stories like this make me wish I worked for you, but then I remember that I don't want to get eaten by the Tuscon.

2
Someone unfriended me on FB because I told him his method of evaluating a fucking card in Magic was wrong.

Sounds like he did you a favor.

Yeah that.

Someone unfriended me on FB because I told him his method of evaluating a fucking card in Magic was wrong.

That's just sad. Not for you, for him.

Yeah.


3
Someone unfriended me on FB because I told him his method of evaluating a fucking card in Magic was wrong.

5
RPG Ghetto / Re: Masterwork Monsters for Pathfinder
« on: June 15, 2017, 06:54:01 pm »
Bad guy for the next step of the campaign is a cheap thug named Shags McNasty, who stole the thing.

Party has to recover the thing, they've been looking for the thing since they were 2nd level.

Twist:  Shags McNasty are actually two people.  Shags, an 8th level bard maxed out for disguise, and McNasty, his twin, who is an Oracle with the street Mystery.  Both are capable of disappearing/turning invisible as a ready action, and both are capable of turning each other invisible/stealthed as a ready action.

Cue chase scene.

 :lulz:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nm77s5FbkoQ

6
RPG Ghetto / Re: Masterwork Monsters for Pathfinder
« on: June 06, 2017, 11:04:51 pm »
Found out that I written this out on a notecard in my style for notecards.

Brico (Unfettered Eidolon Nightmare) CR 3

Init +4; Darkvision 120ft; Perception +2, Stealth +10
AC 16, Touch 14, Flat-footed 12
hp 7 (1d8); regeneration 5 (good or silver)
Fort +3 Ref +6 Will +0; DR 5/good or silver; Illusion resistance +4; Feign Death DC 12
Speed 40ft, fly 10ft perfect
2 bite +3 (1d6+3) or 2 power attack bites +2 (1d6+6)
CMB +3 CMD 17 (21 vs trip)
Specials: Night Terrors DC 12 1d4 CHA damage every hour for 8 hours; Constant Protection from Good (+2 AC and Saves vs good)

This tortured soul is the twisted remains of the summoner Dunsali's eidolon, unfettered by her sudden death, warped by hatred for those it feels caused her death, and strengthened by the weird magics of the Spire.

7
Welllll so my car which just came out of the shop and cost about $1050 to fix just broke down, stranding Salty and li'l Salty at the side of the road in Washington.

FML

Fuck

8
RPG Ghetto / Re: Masterwork Monsters for Pathfinder
« on: May 26, 2017, 12:26:34 am »
Hopefully my head isn't full of holes and I didn't forget about ever posting this thing that I did for some contest at Paizo in 2015. I'm going through my folders clearing out redundant or useless files and rediscovered it.

Numerian Smart Sword
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 21,100 gp; Weight 16 lbs.

Description
Inspired by Androffan smart armor, the Technic League developed a multi-function smart weapon. This +1 adamantine greatsword has active and inactive modes. While inactive it functions as a medium greatsword; however due to its great weight applies a -2 penalty, in addition to any other penalties to melee attack rolls, to any medium creature wielding it two-handed or any large creature wielding it one-handed. It can activated as a swift action, expending one charge, expanding to a large greatsword negating any penalties related to the size, allowing a medium creature to wield it as a two-handed weapon with no additional penalties. While active it consumes one charge per round, and its form can be changed as a swift action like a transformative weapon, consuming one charge, choosing from glaive, greataxe, spiked chain, or two-bladed sword, all large-sized.
Like smart armor, it has 60 charges. As a hybrid weapon only the enhancement bonus to attack and damage rolls, and the negation of the size penalty are affected by areas of antimagic or similar effects.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Technological Arms and Armor (DC 30), bull's strength, lead blades, righteous might or giant form I, military lab; Cost 11,635 gp

10
Already done.

As well as an article I wrote for the law firm I consult with on WCry and how human failure in updating security applications is the key factor in the spread of the ransomware.

Who needs rubberhose cryptography when people are just too lazy/stupid keep their software updated.

11
I really want to try to make Elote, Mormon Style. I keep thinking about it ever since Cram posted that cartoon. It would be:
 
2 lbs frozen shredded hash brown potatoes
1 lb frozen corn
1 cup mayonnaise
1 cup sour cream
1 can condensed cream of chicken soup
1 bunch chopped green onions
1 lb shredded cheddar cheese

Mix together and spoon into baking pan. Top with:

1-1/2 cups crushed corn flakes
1/2 lb coteja cheese crumbles
Sprinkle of chile y limon

Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour. Serve hot.

Quote
Cram

Also, I think I should try making that.

13
I am officially allowed to say my wife is pregnant.

14
Doc says I oughtta give up all the good stuff.

I asked for a second opinion, which turned out to be "or move to the desert".

Only way I'd do that is if I could get full custody of my daughter and move her with me. Only way I could do THAT is if I could afford a really good lawyer. Only way I could do THAT is if I end up taking this ship job, but the medical stuff might make it impossible for me to pass the physical to get my MMC. I've got a feeling I should go buy some lube before the universe decides to move on from the foreplay.

The desert allergens are fucking horrible.  They start about 18 months after you move here.

The shitty desert air is one of the reasons why I stayed the fuck up in the PNW.

15
Richard Nixon's glittering half-life sarcophagus / Re: Spagbook
« on: April 22, 2017, 05:17:15 am »
In which we both look inexplicably young.


I see you two have been stealing souls for eternal youth, again.

Can you blame us? Souls are delicious.

I'm finding it difficult to argue with you, there.

Meanwhile, I'm suspecting I need to increase my daily intake of souls. It's not fair how good you too look. Salty looks younger than I did 5 years ago.

He is truly ageless.

He...even looks younger than even a couple of years ago...hrm...is it worth the Curse of Portland for eternal youth...

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