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But it's pretty amazing, the mental hurdles one has to jump through to continue to define as a lesbian while in love with a man.  No wonder she quotes a theologian at the end - they excel at precisely this kind of nonsense, ignoring self-contained definitions, creating new ones, appeals to emotion and identity over usage and custom.

I kind of skipped over that bit when I read it, but that's a great point.

There's something about the uniform of "lesbian" that the woman seems far too desperate to attach herself to and I have no idea what the deal is with that.

I'm glad we have the uniform metaphor to help make sense out situations like these, but I'm still mystified as well.

And ftr, this is not the first self-identified lesbian I've heard of getting married to a dude, or publicly defending her stance on the internet, it just sets my teeth on edge.

I had no idea that this is a thing:eek:

I suspect that some of this is that the ladies in question cannot "pass" as straight, in addition to having no desire to do so. And that the freak flag they put up has LESBIANS all over it and they don't want to say they are different, and they don't feel different, they just happen to like this one dude despite the genitalia thing. And whatever, I can get behind not wanting to say I'M BI NOW when you don't feel any different and you totally didn't think of yourself as bi before, but that seems like it's more of a problem of the labels we have than people attempting to use them properly. If lesbian meant "lady who mostly makes out with other ladies" that would be different, but a hard line was drawn that says LESBIANS ARE INCAPABLE OF BEING INTO DUDES, SO FUCKING DEAL WITH IT. It's an assertion that was needed (and maybe still is) to shut up dicknuts who will say dumb shit about "finding the right man" or goddess save us "corrective rape". But it doesn't mesh with reality. Most people are more flexible than that.

I get the hard line part especially in response to the "finding the right man" bullshit, though I'm horrified to learn about "corrective rape". That's fucking heinous!

"Look at me! I'm a swimmer!"

"I suck balls."

Well, you have to start somewhere. Swimming is the best!

Also, had to fire Tiny Killer Neckbeard today.


What happened?

He dropped the ball on some EPA regulatory shit.  Again.

His head just wasn't in the game.  That can be actually fatal in this biz.

From the stories you've told about your work, that fatality bit goes without saying.

You make me feel better about being a huge safety nerd.

just ordered neon yellow handlebars.


I was in a bar in Chicago when I told a close friend of 20 years that, despite being a lesbian, I was marrying a man. My friend and I hadn’t seen each other in a while, but we fell back quickly into our old intimacy — those long, rambling conversations we used to have in coffee shops all over Minneapolis. When the subject shifted to an activist group she was part of, I said I’d be glad to help, if they needed a lesbian on their board. She laughed, dismissively. “You can’t call yourself that anymore.”

Of all the weird reactions I’d gotten to my engagement, that one pissed me off most.

I had not been not surprised when my fiancé’s friends — Washington insiders with the respect for convention that city inspires — expressed shock when they discovered I was a dyke. We came from different worlds; with my long brunette hair and short skirts, I hadn’t read as queer to them. But no one had presumed to relabel me, to retrofit me to their categories — at least, not to my face.

But here was my fabulous Portland pal, trying to claim me for the Bi-Het team (which sounded like a synagogue rather than a sexual identity, and certainly not my own). She wasn’t the only one: An ex-girlfriend and a sophisticated poet cousin said the same thing, as if my lesbian license had been revoked.

So let me be clear, since I can’t be the only one: I am a lesbian marrying a man.

This is not semantics, or splitting hairs; it is fundamental to who we are — my fiancé and I. Immutable as height or eye color.


Also, had to fire Tiny Killer Neckbeard today.


What happened?

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Spagbook
« on: October 28, 2014, 07:46:30 pm »
Congratulations, Pent!


That's awesome Nigel!

Blessed are the Atheists, for they sneeze the loudest.

Gaming is part of who I am, I can promise you that.

Thus, when I see an article titled “Gamers are dead,” referring to the death of the popular trope of a pasty young man in a dimly lit room, it fills me with joy, because it means WE FUCKING WON. So many people are playing games now that they are popular culture. They are not going away. All sorts of cool things, that I like, are now things that a whole bunch of other people like! There’s enough space now for people to make games that are strange and disturbing and maybe highlight a different perspective of the world, because gaming is no longer a niche activity, it’s something that everybody does. There is room for art in video games. That’s awesome!

You slopebrowed weaseldicks with zero reading comprehension and even less critical thinking skills who think an article claiming “Gamers are dead” is something bad? Fuck me sideways with a sandblaster.

It’s like all you can do is look at this collection of words, scratch yourself uneasily, and then run off to look for grubs. Your reaction (and I am not making this up, because it’s been widely documented literally everywhere) to various articles proclaiming the death of the basement-dwelling, cheetos-huffing, poopsock-sniffing douchepistol, because games are so good now that they are common entertainment and thus everyone plays them, was to COMPLETELY MISS THE POINT by either:

a) Making misogynistic threats against a wide variety of female game developers and critics because somehow they’re going to keep games you enjoy from ever being made again


b) Being stupid enough to get sucked in by people busy making misogynistic threats against a wide variety of female game developers and critics, and supporting their idiotic crusade for the dumbing down of everyone everywhere ever.


Check your messages, trix.

Or Kill Me / Re: 10-17-14
« on: October 19, 2014, 12:42:00 pm »
I like this a lot.

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