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Topics - Malaul

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1
Or Kill Me / Aint this some shit?
« on: January 16, 2006, 04:55:55 pm »
Now, Im not much offa ranter so Im gonna just say WTF and let this one speak for its self

2
Literate Chaotic / COntributions needed
« on: September 22, 2005, 03:27:40 am »
Im a kinda editor offa NOT LEGAL school newspaper near myself
we are lookin for art (looks at FNord and Noodle)
poems(looks at ELdora)
beer reviews (looks at herself)
RANTS (looks at rog and TCT)
and stuff that will generally piss folks off (looks at us all)
Horriblescopes (looks at bella)
Credit will be given
money will not



wanna help?
Please say yes
this paper is about to go under and I wannahelp

3
Literate Chaotic / Foot prints in the sand...
« on: May 28, 2005, 09:00:28 pm »
Yoinked from timthepenguin on LJ


Quote
   I dreamed that I was walking down the beach with the Goddess. And I looked back and saw footprints in the sand.

    But sometimes there were two pairs of footprints, and sometimes there was only one. And the times when there was only one pair of footprints, those were my times of greatest trouble.

    So I asked the Goddess, "Why, in my greatest need, did you abandon me?"

    She replied, "I never left you. Those were the times when we both hopped on one foot." And lo, I was really embarassed for bothering Her with such a stupid question.

4
Literate Chaotic / error message 404
« on: May 18, 2005, 01:45:49 am »
vanango  wrote

Quote
Once upon a midnight dreary;
While I pr0n surfed, weak and weary;
Ov'r many a strange and spurious site of ' hot XXX galore'.
While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning;
And my heart was filled with mourning;
Mourning for my dear amour;
"'Tis not possible!", I muttered, "Give me back my free hardcore!"
Quoth the server, 404.




 :twisted:  :twisted::

5
Literate Chaotic / Just the facts ma'am
« on: April 12, 2005, 07:35:01 pm »
Quote from: LMNO
The City.  Cold, grey, full of angles jutting at odd, predictable angles.  A place where anarchy lies just a gunshot away from the uneasy order that has slowly taken over.  Gee, I miss the suburbs.

It was a grey morning, as I groggily lifted my head from my desk.  I vaguely wondered who had cracked open my brain pan & replaced it with charcoal in mid-burn, when I noticed the bottle next to me, a half-inch of amber liquid left.  Right.  Another night of self-pity, in the City that doesnt care.  Coming fully into painful consciousness, I grabbed the bottle & poured the rest of the cheap scotch into last nights glass, fighting the nausea of a new day.

I leaned back in my chair, and looked out the window, at the concrete prison of Ideas that is the City.  There was little traffic this morning, as most people only come to the City when they have to.  Government, Inc. had proclaimed today to be a holiday for tax purposes, so the worker bees stayed in their hives, fearing to tread in the unpredictable streets.

Hearing the outer door open, I ran my fingers through my hair.  Graying already, my temples turning the color of the pavement.  The knock came as I straightened my tie, trying to make it look like I didnt spend the night passed out in an alcoholic haze.

When She walked in, it was like a Krakatoa sunrise.  Short red hair trained to hold the curves of her skull like it was the president of the Clara Bow fan club, and a dress to match.  Legs that went for miles, all standing unsteadily on a pair of heels that could be used as weapons.  What the fuck was she doing here, in this room, in this building, in this City?  She was the kind of woman who threw the unfeeling vastness of the City into pure focus, just by standing there, radiating life.

Are you LMNO?
Some call me that, yeah.
I hear youre a dick.  I need someone to be a dick for me.
Did I mention Im a fan of double entendres, as well?  

She smiled, a quick, no-teeth smile of condescension, but I could tell from her eyes she was holding something back. It took a lot to stand the City.  We all have our armor, some of us just hide it better.  What can I do for you, I asked.

Its this, she said, tossing a playing card on my desk.  I picked it up, and noticed it wasnt a playing card, but a Tarot card.  The Tower, to be exact.

Ouch.

She looked worried, and in that moment, it seemed like the entire Universe wanted to protect her, reassure her. What is it? she asked.

Are you trying to tell me something?  Dames like you dont just walk in here and throw Tarot at me.  I usually leave that to the Gypsies.
Someone slipped this into my box last night.
What did I tell you about entendres?
Look, LMNOWhat kind of name is that, anyway?
My parents were librarians.  They liked keeping everything lined up.
IĶ See. She gave me a look like she wasnt sure whether to believe me.  Well, Ive been getting mysterious phone calls over the past few weeks, and now this.  Im frightened.
What kind of phone calls?
Its embarrassing.  I wont tell you, unless you want to take the case.  

I thought about next months rent, and the dwindling case of scotch in the closet.  What the hell, I thought, at least itll be interestingĶ  Sure, dollface, Ill work with you.  Now why dont you tell me about it from the beginningĶ

6
Literate Chaotic / Dirty lil Proverbs
« on: March 21, 2005, 12:56:07 am »
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to
Bankgkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panites not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat
house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man sho stand on toilet is hight on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

7
Or Kill Me / Let em all burn...
« on: March 01, 2005, 02:12:36 am »
Im sick of your games
I am not in charge of your happiness
Dont base your happiness on things that I do
Go live your own damn life
This ones mine
Go buy your own
Im sick of being part of your mini-series of psycho-drama on the TV we all call Earth...
Who will do what to whom next week on WE SUCK AT LIFE!  DUN DUN DUNNNNN


Stop lying to your selves
Stop cheating on your soul
Stop trying to be something you aren't

From now on youre all on your own
Youre all grown ups
Friggen act like it


<gets off soap box>

thanks I needed to get that out there...

::stomps off to the bar::

8
Literate Chaotic / Lewis Black >Joo
« on: February 11, 2005, 07:35:38 pm »
this guy is TOO damn funny

please listen to him if you can
specially the Starbucks skit


http://www.lewisblack.net/

9
Literate Chaotic / I <3 Wikipedia
« on: February 02, 2005, 02:35:40 am »

10
Or Kill Me / just wondering
« on: October 07, 2004, 11:07:15 pm »
why is Rev Roger not a moderator of a topic made almost just for him?

thats weird

11
Literate Chaotic / Discordian 'Zine?
« on: July 13, 2004, 03:33:26 pm »
http://www.livejournal.com/community/eristicmystics/28588.html
This is where this is taken from for those of us with a LJ


and for those that are lazy *coughbellacough* here is the text again


Discordian Zine Party Rumble 9!
Right, so here's the rundown.

I'm making a zine. For those of you who arent' hip and happening, a zine is an idepently produced pamphlet\book sort of thing that's made by ripping off staples and using their photocopier without paying.
Now, my zine is going to be about Discordianism, mainly in the style of the Principia as that was the grandfather of all zines anyway. It shall be called A Handbook of Heresies. If anyone wants to submit anything, e-mail me at bombasticallyadequate23@yahoo.com or lunaticfringe@riseup.net if what you're sending could get us arrested. As a reward your name will be put in the Book of Life (you'll be given preferential treatment in the world hereafter. Think the Presidential Suite.)

Anyone who would like a copy when it's done, ask at the same e-mail adresses. Cost for a contributor: free; cost for anyone else: not quote sure yet, but just enough to pay for supplies and photocopies should Staples catch me.

Oh, and please spread this message like the plague and the herpes combined. The more people in on this the better.
END PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT




The gentelman I stole this from also posts on the boards here, but I posted it for him,,,  

I figure that St Hugh and Rev Roger might like to get in on this deal  soooooi

SEND HIM YOUR STUFF!! you know you wanna

12
Literate Chaotic / Grampa Khaos
« on: June 08, 2004, 03:34:37 pm »
I just wanna give props to you for takin teh time and energy to transcribe the 3 word story, this must have taken for ever, you are awsome!!

::gives you a super sized cup of your favorite caffeinated beverage::

13
Or Kill Me / to anyone who wants em....
« on: February 12, 2004, 02:39:49 am »
))hugs((

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