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Topics - Dr. Paes

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Apple Talk / I really like the thread "Best Of PD"
« on: March 30, 2010, 01:12:58 am »
This thread is awesome.
If you, too, think that this thread is pretty cool, you can talk about it here instead of spagging the cool thread up with praise.
Perhaps we can link other threads we like but don't want to interrupt and sit in dis here fread talking about their merits.

Apple Talk / is sick.
« on: March 25, 2010, 03:45:04 am »
But don't worry. Dr Paes is here.
Say "ahhhh."
Alright, alright, you can stop now.
There's definitely nothing wrong with your ability to make noise.

Let's test your reflexes.
Well, fuck. That's the most intense knee-jerk reaction I've seen in a long time.

Your temperature is pretty normal.
You blood pressure is high, but no higher than it has been the in past.

My diagnosis? Hypochondriasis... or some form of extreme medical students disease.
It's really not surprising, considering all the sickness you're exposed to, that you started to see a little of it in yourself...

You've built up a sort of overactive immunity to pinealism, that you see it in the most innocent nonsense.
You've been so critical of other communities' modus operandi that any deviation from what you perceive to be the correct way to function is immediately attacked.
I'm afraid you've been so exposed to the concept of a REALLY REAL DISCORDIAN, that despite still denying the existence of such a thing, you've begun to believe it.

And after identifying these situations as issues, you've attacked them, of course.

But on further examination of the arguments you've made, you see the sickness in them as well. It's spreading.
You begin to battle the turncoats, with satirical representations of them. Take their power from them by turning them into jokes. A handful of "anti-fluff" threads pop up, the sickness is immediately identified and targetted wherever it appears.
Regions of the board which are not yet sick have been preemptively attacked... and still, the sickness spreads!

Metatopics spread, attacking the functioning of this immune system, recognising it as the sickness also.
But, oh! The sickness exists in these also!
So much effort is put into destroying this foreign invader that the content being protected goes down as a casualty of war.
Nobody has any time to produce a solution, because they're too busy fighting the problem.

And there are no signs of improvement, just more and more stress about how ineffective this battle has been, leading to less thought going into how to battle the problems we are seeing.
Because worrying about the sickness is the cancer that is killing

My professional opinion?
Stop taking medicine for illnesses you don't have.

Trust me. I'm a doctor.

Aneristic Illusions / Please to keep your Amurrica to yourselves.
« on: March 13, 2010, 04:29:19 am »

New cyber-monitoring measures have been quietly introduced giving police and Security Intelligence Service  officers the power to monitor all aspects of someone's online life.

The measures are the largest expansion of police and SIS surveillance capabilities for decades, and mean that all mobile calls and texts, email, internet surfing and online shopping, chatting and social networking can be monitored anywhere in New Zealand.

In preparation, technicians have been installing specialist spying devices and software inside all telephone exchanges, internet companies and even fibre-optic data networks between cities and towns, providing police and spy agencies with the capability to monitor almost all communications.

 The measures are the consequence of a law, the 2004 Telecommunications (Interception Capability) Act, which gave internet and network companies until last year to install devices allowing automated access to internet and cellphone data.

Telecom, Vodafone and TelstraClear had earlier 2005 deadlines, and new cellphone provider 2degrees installed the interception equipment before launching last year.

Official papers obtained by the Star-Times show that, despite government claims that it was done for domestic reasons, the new New Zealand spying capabilities are part of a push by United States agencies to have standardised surveillance capabilities available for their use from governments worldwide.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / PEAS' Discordia
« on: March 06, 2010, 09:30:27 am »
This post is unlikely to contain any new ideas for you.
I need to get it down here, though, to be built upon... because I'm getting my head to a point where I hope I can contribute content of some substance. Maybe. Unless I start screaming again.

Sometimes people ask me about my religious beliefs.
Hearing that I am a "Discordian" they are perplexed.

"What is a Discordian?" is usually their second question.
These people are seeking the Wikipedia definition of Discordianism and that's what I give them. "It's a religion disguised as a joke or a joke disguised as a religion; nobody really knows.  We believe that God is a woman and she's crazy. She's the Greco-Roman Goddess of Chaos actually. Eris, y'know? We're not allowed to believe anything we read. Actually that's not what we believe. I was only kidding."

This is what people want to hear when they ask me about Discord, and upon hearing this absolutely nobody is enlightened because the Principia Discordia was written by a couple of stoned hippies. It's not all bad. It's something to start with. Parts of it might work for you and others might not and can be discarded. The book is true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense. It contains some handy metaphors and useful ideas which some may not have encountered yet. It also contains a whole lot of fluff. It's a model to be improved upon, but not something I think you should take and use as is. Some people get hung up on the fluff. They take the Principia as their holy book and spend their time repeat 50 year old jokes. This gives the convenient illusion of being a freethinker without having to do any actual thinking. These people missed the joke entirely.
Some people get cured of Discordianism™ and evolve, stronger than they were before they caught it, but to me, Discordianism™ is just another form of mental bondage and it's not my Discordia.

Sometimes, though, they ask the question in a different way. Sometimes people ask  "What do you believe?" which, despite being very similar to the first question, is in fact entirely different. Whether they meant to or not, these people are asking about my Discordia. These people are asking what Discordia means to me. Sometimes I'm in a bad enough mood to try and tell them.

My Discordia is what separates me from the rest of you primates. It's in my refusal to suspend disbelief, instead embracing it and confronting issues head-on... and it's in the way that I deal with these issues. It's in acknowledging the horrors as horrors, rather than denying their existence. It's in laughing at these horrors, not as a coping mechanism, but because they're so ridiculous that there is no other way to react to them. I mean, it seems fair. If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. My Discordia is in pointing this out to you. It's in sprinting, climbing, leaping... dodging security guards, evading the police just to get a message put up on a wall. A simple protest. Just to share a tiny part of my Discordia with others, in the hopes that it's something they can use... and if they can't, at least I get a laugh out of confusing them.

It's not a set of beliefs I hold. My Discordia is in my questioning those beliefs. It's in the understanding that everything I might gather together and refer to as my "self", should not just be accepted as immutable truth or exempt from critique. My Discordia is in my taking responsibility for the way I process, interpret and form relationships between the information I gather. It's in my acknowledgement that the world as I see it isn't the world as it is... nor is the world as I think of it even the world as I see it. Everything that I observe, I change in my observation.

My Discordia is something I rarely talk about, because as soon as I start to make statements about my beliefs, I find further flaws in my philosophy. Inconsistencies and contradictions... and my Discordia is in my attacking those. It is likely that in the time between my posting this and your reading it my philosophy has changed again. Watch this space for further updates.

My Discordia is in my acknowledgement that what is popular is not the same as what is best.
It's in my rejection of the status quo as being something beyond criticism and inherently "right".

My Discordia incorporates parts of your Discordia. It has been inspired and shaped by your elements of your Discordia... but my Discordia is not your Discordia.
It's not something I believe. It's something I am and something I do... It's a multifunctional tool, because when it doesn't fit, I modify it until it works. It's my private, heavily modified copy of an Open Source Religion... and it's not for sale.

Apple Talk / BREAKING NEWS: Privacy over. Governments win.
« on: March 06, 2010, 03:42:58 am »

Apple Talk / My life is really sad, guys.
« on: February 16, 2010, 12:50:53 am »

Aneristic Illusions / NZ - Search and Surveillance Bill
« on: October 16, 2009, 05:19:59 am »

Privacy Commissioner Marie Shroff has warned Parliament that a proposed law widening enforcement authorities' powers of search and surveillance needs more safeguards.

New covert surveillance and investigative powers
Most regulatory investigative powers are currently limited to compelling the production of documents or information, requiring personnel to answer questions and, in extreme cases, physical searches of property.  If the Bill passes in its present form, regulators will also be able to subject your staff and place of business to covert surveillance.

Surveillance might include installing recording devices to intercept calls or conversations, tracking devices to determine the movements and whereabouts of staff, and cameras.  Regulators would be able to covertly break into your premises to install such devices.  Perhaps more concerning, nothing prevents a regulator from conducting similar surveillance on (or in) the homes of your officers and staff.

If regulators want to use a unique investigative technique not presently covered by the Bill (e.g. remotely and covertly accessing your IT network) they can also obtain “residual” warrants.  There is no limit to the kinds of investigative techniques that could be deployed under cover of a residual warrant.

* Removes right to silence for person suspected of having evidence in crime with three or more suspects.
* Widens provision for searches without warrant.
* Allows copying of material stored on computers and remote searches of computers.
* Increases covert investigative powers of the Commerce Commission, the Reserve Bank, Customs and Ministries of Agriculture and of Fisheries.
* Gives power to detain anyone at scene of search.

But it's all okay, right guys?
I mean... They only want to keep me safe.

Or Kill Me / Green Eggs and STFU ( A working title)
« on: June 26, 2008, 03:48:30 pm »
Just wrote this, and it's nearly three in the morning so I'm not happy with a lot of it.
Especially the end, and the middle.
Prolly the beginning too.
Suggestions or comments?

My liberties
My liberties
I won't give up
my liberties.

Would you ditch them for tv?

I would not ditch them
for tee vee.
Your brainwashing
is not for me.

How about to win this war?

The prez is rotten, to the core.
I won't support your monkey war.
Nor will I ditch them for tv.
I won't give up my liberties.

Would you forget them if I said
that terrorists could shoot you dead?

I'll not forget them though you say
that terrorists would act this way.
I've already told you, just before.
You'll not persuade me with this war.
What happened to home of the free?
Your war of terror is not for me.

If God commanded would you obey?
If Jesus asked, what would you say?

Not for your God,
or for his son.
Nor for Iraquis
holding guns.
I will not lose them for this war.
Now do not ask me anymore!
I plan to keep my liberties.
Now go away and leave me be.

Would you ignore them for your car?
Without this oil it won't go far.

I would not, could not,
for my car.

You don't need them, you will see.
We're offering SECURITY.
We won't stop asking till you agree.

Your suits and guns don't frighten me.
Your oil and cars, I do not need
These rights are mine, I will stay free.
You simply will not frighten me.
Not with your God or with his son.
Or with your agents armed with guns.
Not with this war on EVERYONE.
Nor with the lies, on your teevee.
I will not lose my liberties.

Money! Money!
Money! Money!
Would you, could you,
if you were paid?

I know about the deals you've made,
the shady characters you've paid.
You are not known for being loyal.
Forget your cash, forget your oil.
Forget your faith, forget your war.
I will not listen anymore.
Forget the lies you tell each day.
Now leave me be, and go away!
Nothing you offer interests me.
I'd rather keep my liberty.

You won't give up your liberties?
You will insist on staying free?

Now you get it, now you see.
Nothing you say will convince me.

You won't submit, or so you say.
We're bigger than you, we'll have our way.
The choice is yours at the end of the day.
You can die, or you can obey.

... You can have my liberties.
Take them, take them, just leave me be!
I'll calmy sit at my TV.
and dream of life, when I was free.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Criticism of the BIP
« on: June 17, 2008, 07:42:10 am »
This from Doloras LaPicho from

Idealism = elitism = just another treehouse club
The people at (and if you haven't read the Principia yet, you are made of lose and fail) have an interesting new manifesto called Black Iron Prison (taking a phrase from P. K. Dick, to describe the chains of ideology, pretence identities and bad habits which prop up existing exploitative power strucutres.). It's a fun read, but annoyingly it has pretty much the same failing as virtually any "radical cultural product" in this day and age - it is generally spot on about the problem, but falls down on the solutions. While it makes a clarion call for people to throw out their useless and self-limiting identities, it never challenges its own presuppositions - idealism coupled with elitism, the self-justifying ideology (what a Scientologist would call a "service facsimile") of the modern "cultural technician" classes. I quote:

    What you have to remember is that if the grazing sheep can see you then so can the bad guys. If you've found a loophole then you've shown them it and you can bet your sorry ass that they'll be busy sealing it up just as you're busy decomposing in an unmarked grave, all the while fertilising the grass that the sheep are fed.

    The more obvious you become the more attention you will draw so burn the Che Guevara teeshirt and buy something with Hugo Boss written on it. Tear down the burning buddhist posters and get rid of the CND bumper stickers. Keep your books under the bed. If you really want to accomplish something then your best bet is to work undercover. Jumping on a soapbox and spreading the gospel is not how you get the message across, it's how you end up in jail. Do not subscribe to subversive magazines. Do not turn up at demos and rallys, all their operatives mugshots are on federal databases an, even worse, they achieve approximately nothing. Make no mistake, now that you've slipped your chain they're looking for you. Don't make it easy for them.

So the revolutionaries of the new era will concentrate on keeping their heads down? Interestingly from a manifesto which approvingly discussed shucking off pretence identities a few pages earlier, the personal safety and integrity of the Newly Enlightened Discordian seems to be the main priority here, rather than an attempt to use this enlightenment to affect the material world. "Yes, YOU are now the Newly Enlightened and are much better than pathetic mewling sheep! So for Eris's sake don't actually do anything except find a new peer group to swap recipes!!!"

In fact, the use of the word "sheep" shows a contempt for the huge majority of people in the material world - that is, directly the opposite of Orwell's and Chaos Marxism's dictum that "if there is hope, it lies in the proles". Note the historically inaccurate assertion (repeated by the corporate media so often that it's become common sense) that "demos never changed anything". The fact is that the mass demonstration is the only actual real political/memetic activism that your average working stiff has any chance to get involved with. It's not as useful as the mass strike, but it's something rather than nothing. Letting the ideal be the enemy of the possible is a sure road to impotence - and as for the attitude that anything that ordinary people can do is ipso facto a useless waste of time, well, I don't think I need to even comment further.

And is martyrdom all bad, anyway? Jesus was nailed up, yes, Ché was pumped full of bullets and displayed, but they are now bad-ass memes of various levels of immortality, and you won't be if you stay in hiding. What do you want - to change material reality or just give yourself a new identity, a new lifestyle, a new religion which says it's not a religion?

But of course the writer of these words specifically says that doing mass work is a waste of time:

    You CAN NOT bring the MACHINE™ down. You can't even slow it down. What you can do is very slowly and unobtrusively begin to rearrange the basic components. We will refer to these as "widgets" and "sprockets". If widget A and sprocket B combine to exert societal influence C on the stinking morass known collectively as "humanity", then it stands to reason that the MACHINE™ can be reprogrammed at a very basic level and in very small increments. You waste your time dreaming of how to effect such a change on a global, national, or regional scale (the impossibility of which, I might add, keeps you in your perpetual state of blissful apathy), dreaming of assembling a group of like-minded fellows who will march with you to the very gates of the ivory tower whereupon those who have misled and exploited you will be cast down upon the parapets.

This is a counsel of despair, impotence, and magical thinking (directly the opposite of MAGICKAL thinking). To defeat the Black Iron Prison, then, the important thing is to hide, form a secret, quasi-conspiratorial network of people who think like you... and do your cultural activism / memetics / magic so that the big guns of Corporate Brainwashing will slowly but surely start to put out the message you like. Or, in summary: we are the tiny enlightened elite who are going to save the world, by hiding and doing our superhero stuff behind the scenes, by manipulating the structures of oppression rather than trying to throw them down. What, really, is the difference between this and getting a job in academia, advertising or the entertainment multinationals - i.e giving up altogether?

I get angry at so-called "Marxists" who act like that, and I'm not going to take it from Discordians either. It's also the same nonsense that that guy who reckons he's Neo from the Matrix peddles - don't destroy the Matrix, but make it kindlier for the pathetic sheep who will never be real individuals, like us. It's a counsel of despair, of making the best of things for yourself, of believing that you are better and deserve better than people who haven't had the same experiences you have. It's not an antidote to apathy, it's a set of ideas which will make you feel justified in smug apathy, in working the system for whatever material privileges you can get, and then getting together with your cool buddies on evenings and weekends to be cowboys, anarchists, Zen archers, whatever.

A basic axiom of Marxism (which should go in the CM aphorisms) is that only the conscious mass action of the huge worldwide majority will change anything. Not a secret elite of memetic superheroes. We can't make that happen by hiding and manipulating. Nor can we do that by clowning and phrasemongering, by going on demos just for the sake of going on demos - that's just another fake identity, and the BIP writers are right to point that out. (My criticism of most Marxist and anarchist sects is that they act according to the same principles for which I criticse the BIP writers - they use ritualised and useless forms of "political activism" as attempts to shore up their self-image and give them acceptable social and leisure opportunities, rather than actually trying to change the world, i.e. change mass consciousness.)

Ben Watson says, and CM agrees, that a revolution will mean the people who don't have to lie to make their living taking over. The cultural technician class (99% of the people you'll see writing blogs or websites, in other words) overwhelmingly make their living by using memetic tools to spread someone else's toxic ideology. It's precisely because of that that your bus driver is far, FAR more likely to make an effective revolutionary memetician and political activist than the cool guy you met on the internet who reads all the same cool books as you do.

One final point: the MACHINE™ (I may have to start using this shorthand) has only existed for about 100 years now, only in the time of universal suffrage and a mass consumer economy. Before then, there was no point in controlling working people's minds because no-one cared what they thought, just whether they worked. What's more, the MACHINE™ only exists because people go to work every day and make it work. To an enquiring mind, this should point out that the MACHINE™ is not the omnipresent mechanism of control that the BIP writers make it out to be - sadly, that's exactly the "common sense" that thirty years of the postmodernism academy has imposed on virtually the entire culturally-trained class. If you're going to challenge all the mind-forg'd manacles, how about starting with the assumption that capitalist structures of domination and oppression which have existed in their modern form for only 150 maximum are somehow eternal and essential features of human nature? The main proof that the future can be different is that the past was different. Of course individuals can't change it. So you'd better either think of some way of getting past your monadic, bourgeois, individualist identity - or just give up and find a good drug/religion/sports team to follow.

NOTE: The last time I wrote something like this I got hate-mail. I often sound more harsh and nasty than I mean to, so any Discordians reading this, please be assured that this is supposed to be friendly criticism and the opening of a dialogue.

Also, Welcome to the boards Doloras.

« on: May 19, 2008, 12:58:32 pm »

Twice as racist as Hitler, less honest than a politician, and able to alienate forums in a single post.
It's Daruko: Defender of Noobs...


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