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Topics - Regret

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1
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/talking-pineapple-question-state-exam-stumps-article-1.1064657?localLinksEnabled=false

Quote
The Hare and the Pineapple

by Daniel Pinkwater

In olden times, the animals of the forest could speak English just like you and me. One day, a pineapple challenged a hare to a race.
(I forgot to mention, fruits and vegetables were able to speak too.)
A hare is like a rabbit, only skinnier and faster. This particular hare was known to be the fastest animal in the forest.
“You, a pineapple have the nerve to challenge me, a hare, to a race,” the hare asked the pineapple. “This must be some sort of joke.”
“No,” said the pineapple. “I want to race you. Twenty-six miles, and may the best animal win."
"You aren't even an animal!" the hare said. “You're a tropical fruit!"
“Well, you know what I mean,” the pineapple said.

The animals of the forest thought it was very strange that tropical fruit should want to race a very fast animal.
"The pineapple has some trick up its sleeve," a moose said.
Pineapples don't have sleeves, an owl said
"Well, you know what I mean,” the moose said. "If a pineapple challenges a hare to a race, it must be that the pineapple knows some secret trick that will allow it to win.”
“The pineapple probably expects us to root for the hare and then look like fools when it loses,” said a crow. “Then the pineapple will win the race because the hare is overconfident and takes a nap, or gets lost, or something.”
The animals agreed that this made sense. There was no reason a pineapple should challenge a hare unless it had a clever plan of some sort. So the animals, wanting to back a winner, all cheered for the pineapple.
When the race began, the hare sprinted forward and was out of sight in less than a minute. The pineapple just sat there, never moving an inch.
The animals crowded around watching to see how the pineapple was going to cleverly beat the hare. Two hours later when the hare cross the finish line, the pineapple was still sitting still and hadn't moved an inch.
The animals ate the pineapple.

MORAL: Pineapples don't have sleeves

The questions followed by my response:

Beginning with paragraph 4, in what order are the events in the story told?

A switching back and forth between places
B In the order in which the events happen
C Switching back and forth between the past and the present
D In the order in which the hare tells the events to another animal

Too easy.


The animals ate the pineapple most likely because they were

A Hungry
B Excited
C Annoyed
D Amused

A. Because eating sentient beings for exciting/annoying/amusing you is frowned upon in highschool specifically and society at large.
I'm pretty sure this question is in as a sociopath detector



Which animal spoke the wisest words?

A The hare
B The moose
C The crow
D The owl

Tricky, the Moose is paranoid so the desired answer should not be him (but we know better muhaha!)
The Owl is being a pedant and that is at most faux-wisdom
The Hare spent too much time being surprised and not enough time being either paranoid or betting on himself. Such a thoughtless attitude in the face of two diametrically opposed possible scenarios is not wisdom.
The Crow took the Moose's paranoia and fleshed it out a bit to create a more interesting situation, possibly leading to everyone hating the pineapple so he could eat it without being hated. This is the wisest of them all.



Before the race, how did the animals feel toward the pineapple?
A Suspicious
B Kindly
C Sympathetic
D Envious

Is this before the race and before the challenge or between the challenge and the race? I'm just going with Hungry even if it isn't one of the options.


What would have happened if the animals had decided to cheer for the hare?

A The pineapple would have won the race.
B They would have been mad at the hare for winning.
C The hare would have just sat there and not moved.
D They would have been happy to have cheered for a winner.

It depends a bit on the personality of the Hare but assuming he's anywhere near normal i'll have to go with D.


When the moose said that the pineapple has some trick up its sleeve, he means that the pineapple

A is wearing a disguise
B wants to show the animals a trick 
C has a plan to fool the animals
D is going to put something out of its sleeve

What is the sleeved something refered to in D and why would the pineapple put it out of it's sleeve? these are important questions that demand an answer!


Hmmz, i don't feel stumped at all. Slightly annoyed at some of the more boring questions but that's all. I wish all education was like this.

2
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Limits
« on: November 16, 2011, 07:08:56 pm »
It's amazing how limited limitlessness is.
Our limits are our context, without limits we cannot find our way.
Without limits there IS no way.
For a way requires that both direction and movement are possible.
How can we know where we are facing if nothing is to be seen?
One might posit transparent coloured areas as references for movement but even then, colour is the exclusion of other colours.
Thus it limits what you can see where.
To give one absolute freedom is to make one absolutely powerless.
Allow me to posit that movement without the possibility of stopping is the same as not moving at all.
One without limits to follow or fight against, one without walls to break through is no better off than one surrounded by unbreakable walls.

3
And i could use:
Tips on what to see and do, we both would like to see musea 'n'stuff about darwin and SCIENCE! in general, we both enjoy a good beer and we both LOVE books(seriously, one good obscure secondhand bookstore and we will be the happiest little tourists ever), preferably scifi or science-related.
Walking directly and confidently into a liquorstore and buying the best whiskey for him would be the greatest thing ever(just remember i have a tight budget), I assume London has some fine whiskeys available. So ideas about that would be cool too.
Oh, and he is into sailing, so anything sailing related would be cool too.


I would love it if something could be done to confuse/surprise my father. I'm thinking some people showing up and greeting him by name and asking very specific questions about what he has going on in his life right now (he runs a headache clinic and is a face in local politics, if someone wants to do something like that: ask me for details and i'll do some research.)
Other cool ideas are ofcourse appreciated  :D



I will ofcourse be doing some research of my own but i'd appreciate any help.

4
Once again I am confronted with good intentions gone horribly wrong, with short memories and an  inability or unwillingness to think, to follow their ideas to the logical conclusions.
This is quite annoying so here's a quick guide.
When you come up with a way to improve or otherwise change the world there are some things you MUST  think about:
1.What is my goal?
2.What must be done to achieve my goal?
3.Am I willing to accept that price?
4.Who should do it?
5.How should they do it?
6.Who will most likely end up doing it?
7.And how will they do it?
8.Is the difference between 4/5 and 6/7 a problem?

And some things that can help you work through this:
1.What happened the last time someone tried this? (history books are your friend)
2.If making the world a better place is so damn important to you, why aren't you baking a cake for the lonely elderly lady in you neighbourhood?

5
Once there was a chickenfarmer.
He was the only chickenfarmer in town.
He supplied the entire town with eggs for their breakfast and was loved and respected for this.
He also got rich as fuck.

Then one day a freak wind blew a newspaper into the town square.
It was from the town 75 miles east.
On the front page was a big picture of a chicken with a funny hat!
And the caption read: 'NEW FAD: HAVING A PET CHICKEN!'

So all the important people started to have their own chickens.
And soon everyone had a chicken of their own, from rich to poor and from all walks of life.
If they had a square feet of land, they had a chicken.
Some even had a chicken locked inside their mobile home.

Ofcourse, the chickens did what chickens do.
They made many, many chicken eggs.
The people soon learned that they no longer had to pay for breakfast eggs!
The people Rejoiced!

What do you expect the chickenfarmer did?
Did he accept that people no longer wanted to buy his eggs?
No he did not.
Instead he sent his thugs over to intimidate the people into still paying him for their breakfast eggs.


Luckily the chickenfarmer soon ran out of money and had to stop trying to sell eggs.
Instead he changed focus to only selling chicken meat.
What a smart man this farmer was!









PS  the eggs are music and the farmer is a musician.

6
So i got a link to the Contribution of Working Group I to the Fourth Assessment Report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change


And have been reading the summary for policy makers.
now i could make this one huge post where i copy everything said in the report and say 'i agree' to almost everything but I've decided to keep things simple.
We are fucked, we are very very fucked.


CO2 and methane emissions lead to global warming(methane breaks down to H2O an CO2 in the atmosphere).
Quote
Warming tends to reduce land and ocean uptake of
atmospheric carbon dioxide, increasing the fraction of
anthropogenic emissions that remains in the atmosphere.
Positive feedback bitches, guess what that means.
Oh and i picked up somewhere that if the temperature of the top layer of the ocean gets to 10oC it stops mixing with the lower water wich means there will be no new nutrients in the top layer. this means that the top layer of that bit of ocean becomes devoid of life and that means the same for all the lower ocean bits, cause nutrients go from top to bottom in most of the ocean.
ergo after a certain temperature has been reached the ocean will stop pumping carbon down out of the atmosphere.

7
Alright you artist, pseudointellectuals and assorted idiots this thread is for collecting of intermittens letters to the editor.
They can be real or fake, refering to a previous intermittens or not, coherent or incoherent, etc etc.

This thread is not for intermittens 4 related letters but there is no harm in them being stored here.

Cramulus had this idea:
Quote from: Cramulus
Dear Vexati0n: why didn't you credit me for the cover art? Signed Cram  Dear Cramulus, vex didn't credit you because his keyboard is jammed halfway up his ass. Signed p3nt.



GO!


ETA

At the filthy pinko hippy editor,

This hopeless excuse for a magazine makes no sense half of the time and is infuriating the other half. I as a Freedom loving American was physically sickened by the piece of shit on page 9 and 10 of intermittens #1 written by the degenerate Jack of Turnips (an obvious pseudonym).
What is all this crap about Destroying the capitol and dancing on its ruins? Don't you love America? And how dare you make fun of our godfearing government! They know what they are doing. Otherwise they would not have been in power, that is obvious to anybody with half a brain.

i will never again read anything made by you or anyone connected to you and i feel obligated to tell you that i reported you discordians to the sheriff. Expect criminal charges in the near future.

With spite,
Billy 'Biff' Church,
(you can call me Mr. Church.)

8
Techmology and Scientism / rotating cylinders replace sails
« on: February 19, 2009, 11:32:12 am »
http://www.popularmechanics.com/blogs/science_news/4235579.html
Quote
The towers utilized the Magnus effect—wind currents striking a rotating cylinder exert a force approximately at right angles to the direction of the wind. After an initial jumpstart from the motors, the cylinder's motion caused the ship to advance, PM reported. Its designers claimed the vessel outran other sailing ships as well as freight steamers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnus_effect


http://www.boatdesign.net/forums/boat-design/everything-old-new-again-flettner-rotor-ship-launched-24081.html
Quote
On the New Orleans-Jamaica route, where winds are usually unfavorable, the fuel savings was an incredible 36 percent, and the speed was up 18 percent. If the ship were used on similarly favorable routes, the payback would fall to an astonishing 1.7 years. "

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flettner_ship
Quote
Stephen H. Salter and John Latham recently proposed the building of 1500 robotic rotor-ships to mitigate global warming. The ships would spray seawater into the air to effect Cloud reflectivity enhancement.[1][2]


I would never havve thought of that.
Science is fun! :D

9
Bring and Brag / I think of Nothing
« on: December 09, 2008, 01:22:41 am »
Nothing.
Nothing floats.
in a dimensionless sea of gray
mist,
Mist without moisture.

And Nothing dives!
and Feels
exhilarated
Feel the rush of Air!
Nothing Moves and Feels
and Breathes.
Nothing Searches
for Something
Something Sees and Names
Nothing
and thus Nothing was captured.

10
How severe would the reason have to be to make the fact that you had a choice irrelevant?

Example: you're driving someone else's car and a milktruck is coming straight at you.
You decide to avoid the milktruck and drive straight into the river.
Result: Car ruined but you're still alive.

My opinion: its still your fault the car is ruined.


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