I tried to ignore it. I thought it was just another stupid internet fad. But as time passed it became all to clear to me that this... thing is going to be here for a very long time. MY LITTLE PONY
. Its growing hard to find a forum without discussion of it, I see sprays of it in FPS games and now it seems even Apple Talk has fallen under its spell.
I cant ignore this anymore. I have resolved to finally watch My Little Pony.
[/b][/u] The show starts by explaining the mythology of the MLP universe. There were two princess unicorns, one ruled over the day, the other night. The night princess got mad because everyone slept whenever she was out so one day she refused to end the night. So, the daytime princess/wizard/god sealed her away in the moon with "the elements of MacGuffin".
It sounds a lot like the myth of Horus, sans semen lettuce.
BUT, there is a catch! On the longest day of the thousandth year the evil wizard/pony/princess will escape from the moon and enact her revenge.
Now are introduced to Twilight Sparkle, a student of the Princess who much prefers reading books to going outside and her indentured male dragon servant Spike. She reads this ancient prophecy and decides that its so important that she needs to tell it to the Princess, even though the Princess was there when all this was happening. The Princess responds by telling her to get out more and assigns her the task of supervising the "Summer Sun Celebration".
She and her slave ride on a flying carriage to Ponyvile(One day I'm going to found a town called Humanville). This is where the shows thin veneer of girly cuteness starts to peel away and reveal the true horror of the show. The carriage is being pulled by two male Pegasus ponies. When they arrive Twilight Sparkle thanks them and all they do is huff in appreciation, bondage gags preventing intelligible speech.
So far we have seen 3 male characters and all of them have been servants. Later on it becomes apparent that the "Summer Sun Celebration" is less a friendly celebration and more a religous ceremony worshiping the sun. It also happens to be the longest day of the year, AKA the Solstice.
A matriarchal pagan society in which men are slaves. IVE SEEN THIS BEFORE GOD DAMMIT.
Twilightsparkle and her manservant now make their way to the local apple farm to make sure there will be food accompanying their decadent pagan orgy later. No we are introduced to "Applejack" a pony with southern accent and a cowboy hat. She introduces twilight to the rest of her family including yet another male slave, this time wearing a yoke to signify his social status. Applejack assures Twilight sparkle that there will be plenty of apples for the solstice. Kill me.
Now Twilightsparkle has to ensure the weather will be clear for ritual. She tracks down a winged pony named Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash is a tomboyish daredevil who dreams of joining an elite military unit known as the "wonderbolts". She is also a lesbian depending on who you ask
. The Wonderbolts just happen to have several propaganda posters plastered around ponyvile urging ponies to join. For what sinister purposes does Equestria even need a military?
Twilightsparkle continues her day meeting Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, all the while trying to slip away and read more about the ancient prophecy that will kill them all. But the ponies care more about making friends and participating in their godless sun worship.
Surprise, surprise, the evil pony wizard princess escapes from the moon just as predicted. Rainbow Dash overhears Twilightsparkle talking to herself about the evil "Night Mare Moon" pony and being the good party member that she is, tries to attack her for being a spy. However the other ponies stop her, and they all team up with Twilight to go after the magical Macguffin crystals.
They go through a dark forest where each pony is tested by a shape shifting Night Mare. One test that caught my eye was when she appeared to Rainbow Dash as the head of the Wonderbolts. She claimed that she wanted Rainbow Dash to join them but only if she abandons her friends. Rainbow Dash doesn't find anything at all odd about this scenario which leads me to think that such tests of loyalty are common in the Pony Waffen
They finally reach the MacGuffin crystals but not before Night Mare can break them. They then defeat her by realizing that the magical MacGuffin powers were within their hearts all along.
Celestia, the princess/sun god of the pony world shows up to congratulate Twilightsparkle on finally making friends. This whole thing it turns out was an elaborate Machiavellian scheme to get Twilight to move out of the house and to stop reading so many damn books. Moral of the story: Fuck reading.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a monument to decadence and depravity. It promotes Paganism, male subjugation and homosexuality. The fact that such a show could even be on air shows how far America has come in it moral decay. I don't know for sure what sinister forces are behind this show, but I have a feeling that the "Brony" subculture was all part of the plan. Call me paranoid if you want, but when the perverse grip of bronydom reaches as far as the former president
I think I have the right to be paranoid.
If there's any doubt in your mind about the evil agenda behind My Little Pony, just take a close look at the "Elements of
Harmony".Vote Ron Paul.