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Messages - Sir Squid Diddimus

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1
I will gladly twist a broken beer bottle into ANYONE that wants to bleed freely.
But wait, there's more!
Act now and you may also receive at no additional cost, a good clean punch in the throat!
What a bargain! Ladies, this is too great a deal to pass up.
Pick up the phone, try not to pass out from your own armpit hair odor, and call me now.

2
Hello, I am back.  I am feeling entirely too well to be at work, which is never a good sign.  Mike the engineer was trying to explain something about maximum temperatures for confined space entry, and I was trying to explain to him that I wrote the procedure.  This led Lilly to ask where I got my information because it's very inconvenient that we have to let things cool down for 96 hours, and a 150C shouldn't be TOO bad, if they laid cardboard down to crawl on.

Naturally, I refused.  Mike was getting more and more agitated.  People were getting information from people who weren't him.  He started making a low keening noise, like a starving dog....It make us all look at him in horror.  The poor bastard had reached crush depth, and it was only 7:45AM on a Monday.  He had blood in his nose, and his eyes were rolling around and around and around, trying to look at everyone at once.  Baby Engineer and I were trying to quietly make book on whether or not he was having a stroke, when he suddenly vomited all over the table, killing the PC projector, which shorted to death on his vomit without a single spark or pop.  It just quietly died.

Mike began screaming about how nobody respects his knowledge and his PE stamp, with blood streaming out of his nose and vomit caked on his chin and shirt.  Then he ran out the door and got into his truck, and roared out of the parking lot, howling all the way.

All of this made dealing with the residual brain flukes easier, let me tell you.  I was just a paranoid asshole with a headache.  Mike was doing a full-on nervous breakdown wobbler, old school.  It's made me like him a little.  Almost.

Holy shit, that's amazing!  :lulz:

Holy shit, I can't believe I missed this!  :lulz:

Also congrats Nigel!! Success WOOOO!
Also also- I have no idea what a hootnanny is other than what you get when you mix an owl and a goat, but it sounds fun?

3
GOOD MORNING!




So I woke up at 9:15 and was pissed that my alarm didn't go off. Checked my clock on my phone "Why the hell isn't there an alarm set for Monday!!", I yelled.
I promptly texted my boss to inform him of this clock situation and that I would mostly likely be running late.
His response quickly snapped me back to reality. "Um, Squid. It's Monday.".

Of course it's Mond--- oh. We're closed Mondays.

WELP, always a good thing to occasionally remind my boss that he hired a functional retard. Fuck.

4
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: ATTN: Roger
« on: April 21, 2014, 08:16:35 pm »
I'm only a little kind of sorry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgd1LaKQVy4

5
I don't have kids, so that sounds kind of fucked up to me.


Remember, I don't have kids, so my perspective is most likely off

Compassion is a learned behavior.

This.
Now mind you, I am not ok with someone physically harming a child. EVER. But a tap on the bum hurts their feelings, and therefore they don't do the thing that made mommy hurt their feelings. Followed by an explanation of why mommy had to hurt their feelings, and that they should never do the thing, teaches them valuable life lessons. AND, as Rog says, compassion.

6
So, I may have mentioned mommy groups before, and how they are insane and I mostly hate the other mommies.





 :eek: .....  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
This is exactly why I never joined any mommy groups, or really have friends with kids.
I fucking hate other parents and the way they act.

"What did you do when your son acted like this?"
"I spanked him"
"Oh I can't do that to little Katie, I just think it would have too many long term psychological effects"
"My kid turned out fine. I turned out fine. You got spanked, remember?"
"Yes but my little Brycer is different"
"FUCK YOU IN YOUR DUMB FUCKING FACE YOU STUPID CUNT"

I don't have friends with kids.

8
I have stuff to say about this, but I'm posting via phone.

Short form: Dad decided not to continue cancer treatment, though he knew it would end his life sooner. So he both suffered AND killed himself.

 :sad:
I am truly sorry.

10
Circumstances always apply.

11
It's interesting to see so many different sides of this.
Nigel, did you have people close to you self terminate? You seem very bitter and angry about it.
I never considered the ones I know to have been selfish assholes. I sort of sympathized. In a weird kind of way.
I understood a couple of them, like my friend with the child (which is where all of this stemmed from. I was thinking about her the other day).

She was in an accident and in a coma for a couple of months. A small portion of her brain had to be removed due to swelling, and one day she woke up and said "Where's my bike. Shit. Where the hell am I?", like nothing had happened. However, she suffered a downward spiral of depression a short while after. It went on for a couple of years. No smiles, no happiness, not even moments of "ok". She truly just suffered under a dark cloud until one day she ended it.
I feel horrible for her family and her child, but at the same time I never saw her as a selfish asshole, but as someone who just couldn't live inside her own head anymore. I felt sympathy for her. I felt like she was finally free. I'm sure her family thinks much differently, but it was hard for everyone to watch her suffer, and honestly, I think there was a little relief from a few. Her grandmother said "She doesn't have to suffer anymore" at her memorial service.

As far as comparing it to my own child, I can't even fathom the thought. Meaning I can't even think about that. The idea of him even being heartbroken over a girl makes me want to Hulk out on this town. I love that boy more than words can even say (obviously), so really, I can't use that to contrast, cause the mere thought makes me die inside.

12
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Uh...
« on: April 17, 2014, 02:53:08 pm »
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

14
Can't wait!
 :drama1:



Except I can.  :sad:

15
The only radio station you need for electronic music

http://tunein.com/radio/Limbik-Frequencies-s2225/

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