Everyone gets their monkey on in different ways. On the East coast, they have THE GAY BAR and all the other shit that comes with proper cities. Here in Tucson, we have "driving badly" and "irresponsible firearms use" and various plants that make you think you live in the RIGHT universe for a while. Portland, well, nobody's really sure, but it seems to involve art gallery openings and scooter/hockey stick mayhem of the sort that can only be done right by middle-aged single mothers with teenaged kids driving them batshit.
The point is, if we're gonna have Wrongfun™, we all have to do it our own way, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.
But there are those who feel that "fun" should be regulated and controled, so that only Rightfun™ is obtainable. These are the forces of NO, of STOP, of CALM YOUR TITS. They are the people who feel that prohibition is a great idea. They are the people who post "shock" articles on Facebook and howl weird shit about what should be done to Those People depicted in the articles.
History is full of these assholes, whether they be Stasi or NSA or just the HOA Rules Nazi down the block. They are against unregulated FUN, and for everyone settling down and being Good Americans™.
I am against these people, brothers and sisters, and I hope you are too. I hate them and they hate me and that's how everyone likes it. If they liked me, or even found me amusing from a distance, I would seriously have to reexamine the way I live my life. They walk around all day with their disapproval stamped to their ugly, pinched faces, screaming at anyone who will listen (and most of those who won't) that "IT'S NOT FUNNY" and "THIS ISN'T A SUBJECT FOR HUMOR".
Yes it is. I don't care if they're talking about terrorism, the free market, or whatever social justice zealotry they have shackled themselves with...And don't get me wrong, I'm all about egalitarianism, but I was just informed that "fart rape" is a thing, and it doesn't actually matter if that turned out to be a hoax, because if it IS, it hit too close to the bullseye. No, as the late and unlamented Good Reverend Roger said, "Everything is funny when it happens to someone else...and it's usually still funny when it happens to YOU."
The fact is, you can judge a society on how much it laughs. The Germans laugh all day, and nobody ever laughs in North Korea. You decide. And here in America, 43% of the population is democratic and 43% is republican, leaving only 14% of us laughing. So we'd better LAUGH UNTIL OUR GUTS BLEED, or accept the fact that this nation is 86% North Korean.
What's really odd about that is that I remember a time when at least the democrats were laughing. Not the politicians, of course, but the regular person in the street. But let me ask you: When was the last time you heard Joe or Jane Sixpack laugh? I bet it's been a long time. In fact, I bet they look at you funny when YOU laugh...Like you'd done something inappropriate. And maybe you had, but that doesn't mean a laugh is a sign of bad manners or bad taste.
And why is this? Because our society has lost its nerve. Because our society is BUTTHURT, because being butthurt is both easier and SAFER. Nobody gets black-bagged for NOT having a good time. Nobody arrests people for Angry Townhall Face. Nobody loses their job for sitting utterly rigid in their cube, staring at their monitor...Or joylessly eating their lunch in the breakroom, talking about SAFE subjects like the football game or how well their kids are fitting into the Jello-mould of society.
Is THAT what you want? It isn't what I want. I laughed at The Bomb and I laughed at Al Qaeda and now I laugh at the NSA and the republican senate. And if rumors are true, I'll LAUGH MY ASS OFF when Sarah Palin puts her name on the presidential ballot in 2016. I laugh at preachers doomsaying on account of Gay marriage, and I laugh hysterically while icebergs the size of New Hampshire fall off of Antarctica.
Yes, I laugh at all of these things, all of these things and more. I bray spittle and laughter in the faces of those who disapprove of my laughing at awful shit most people won't even bring up, because THAT'S WHAT A YETI DOES. Leave the glum miseryguts bullshit for the Calvinists. They LIKE that shit. Because they're NUTS.
Okay for now,
This! Laughing hysterically. Like a maniac. The more they yell at me, the funnier it gets, the louder I laugh.