« on: July 15, 2014, 06:44:34 pm »
It's become a euphemism. You see some girl in a wheelchair or a guy with an arm or leg missing. A dog with it's ear chewed off. "They've fucked Junkenstein" Y'know like "bought the farm" or "screwed the pooch" only with the kind of sinister undertones that can cause PTSD, just from hearing the tales that gave rise to those grim expressions. Spare a thought for the (thankfully) small minority of the global population who have actually survived the ordeal and held on to enough fragments of their mind to tell those tales.
No one's ever actually seen Junkenstein's penis, in the flesh as it were. Two reasons - One it's retractable and, two, he wears "the device" over the sheath opening, meaning the organ itself is never exposed to daylight. Daylight and garlic are believed to be the only things in existence capable of destroying Junkenstein's penis but this is based on speculation and a strong correlation with other, fictional, organisms popularly credited with the ability to suck the lifeblood from mammals.
There's another school of thought who believe Junkenstein's penis can never be destroyed and we are all, in fact, doomed. The truth of the matter may well be even more disturbing. The reason is closely related to recent developments in the quantum mathematics solving for Junkenstein's libido. If the work of Gibberlin and Tomaszewski is leading where many academic experts believe it could be, we may be on the verge of a strong and cohesive general theory of depravity which has the potential to negate Newtonian physics and unify General Relativity and Quantum Theory in one fell swoop, just not in a way that falls short of inducing a vomit reflex in anyone who understands the equations and the implications thereof.
When mating with Junkenstein, one is advised to maintain adequate situational awareness, be trained in at least three martial arts and possessed of a well practised ability to maintain breathing during extended periods of projectile vomiting. All the hairs on the back of one's neck MUST be shaved off and genitallia can be expected to be turned inside out during intercourse. Good luck in there and remember, no matter how great the temptation to look - don't open your eyes. It's not worth it.