« on: April 20, 2013, 04:18:41 pm »
If we go with the BiP metaphor, people behave the way they do, because of their life experience, education, beliefs, etc etc etc. If we think that its possible to change our BiP, then it must be possible to change the ick/squick/bad behavior as well. Forgiveness, however, seems to me like a very personal thing. If someone raped a woman, even if they changed, I don't know if that woman should or even could truly forgive them (probably depends on their own BiP). However, as someone not connected to the rapist or the victim, I may be able to see the change and not judge the rest of their life based on that previous behavior.
I might be able to say "Hey, George Wallace changed, I can have a conversation with him and not presume he's a racist fuck." However, if I was the individual he was blocking from entry in front of everyone, maybe I'd say "Nah, fuck that guy".
I don't think there's anything wrong with either of those positions, and I don't think they're in conflict. The conflict, IMO, wuld be the victim, or the non-connected person, trying to enforce their position on the other person. It pisses me off to no end to hear someone try to convince someone else that they 'must' forgive someone who has done them wrong... or for someone to try to make everyone damn someone, no matter what has changed.
forgiveness isn't done by society, its done by humans.