1
Apple Zone / Re: DARE ME?
« on: May 08, 2013, 05:11:58 pm »
I say yes. You can take a Pilltm for the aftereffects, available at any reputable pharmacy.
News:
Endorsement from MysticWicks: "The most fatuous, manipulative, and venomous people to be found here are all of the discordian genre."
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2
Apple Zone / Re: This game is awesome!
« on: May 05, 2013, 05:28:56 pm »
I defeated Chuck Norris.
I am smug.
This game has broken me. I see everything in ASCII now.
I am smug.
This game has broken me. I see everything in ASCII now.
3
Apple Zone / Re: This game is awesome!
« on: May 05, 2013, 05:06:31 pm »I am difficulty defeating Chuck. Norris.
I am unsurprise by this.
Any tip on take him down?
Use the same tactic you used on the dragon, basically.
This is unsatisfy, but Mr. T it I will.
4
Apple Zone / Re: This game is awesome!
« on: May 05, 2013, 05:03:55 pm »
I am difficulty defeating Chuck. Norris.
I am unsurprise by this.
Any tip on take him down?
I am unsurprise by this.
Any tip on take him down?
5
Apple Zone / Re: This game is awesome!
« on: May 05, 2013, 02:48:12 pm »Which sword did you guys take? I got Summoning because the stats pages said it was the least common and I wanted to be special, but the summons seemed underwhelming in Hell and later.
Life. Level 8 (so far), and now that I've got The Horn I heal really fast.
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Apple Zone / Re: This game is awesome!
« on: May 05, 2013, 12:06:48 pm »
You can't take off the boots.
The boots are part of you.
You are the boots.
Use seeds, teleport scrolls and major health potions, and he's pretty easy.
The boots are part of you.
You are the boots.
Use seeds, teleport scrolls and major health potions, and he's pretty easy.
7
Apple Zone / Re: This game is awesome!
« on: May 05, 2013, 10:32:21 am »What hp and sword level you got?
currently lvl 7 life sword, and 1014 health.
I plan on upping that like crazy though. I'm not bothering to go to HELL until I leave the game running for about a day giving me hella amount of lollipops to upgrade that shit.
8
Apple Zone / Re: This game is awesome!
« on: May 05, 2013, 09:54:36 am »
I beat the dragon. Candy and lollipop is now completely interchangeable for me (300klp buys 300kcnd). I'm currently working on increasing candy generation so I can buff myself the hell up and so I can use the converter to generate an asston of lollipops and upgrade my sword.
THEN TO HELL!
THEN TO HELL!
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Apple Zone / Re: This game is awesome!
« on: May 04, 2013, 09:00:40 pm »How the fuck do I beat this dragon?
Me too Brother Faust. Me too...
10
Apple Zone / Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
« on: April 29, 2013, 09:05:37 pm »You know, they have the chia-Obama, I think someone would actually make a chia-Roger. Just think how easy it would be . . .
Easy to do.
Impossible to undo.
IT WOULD BE GLORIOUS!
Terra cotta Rogers, in different poses, ready for the chia goo to be applied . . . man, that would be hilarious.
No. Only one.
The world is not ready for more than one.
11
Apple Zone / Re: Conquest of the Planet of the Bride of the Son of the Return of the Open Bar
« on: April 29, 2013, 09:03:41 pm »I was eating.
It happens.
Though I may need to depart again soon to undertake domestic chores.
It's hard to get false slack past Pixie.
Eating is no excuse. I just strap a feed bag on my face and hork down while I say rotten shit to people. I don't need my mouth to type (though it IS more efficient that way).
damn straight on the false slack. Today i drew up a rota for new flatmate, payne and myself, did the monthly bills calculation and a little space to say if it's been paid, and a who paid how much on the prepayment electric meter.
Prepayment electric meter?
there's a little electronic stick you take to the store to buy electric. They make poor people have them in the UK. Was here when we moved in.
Wow. Your country is almost as fucked as ours is.
But but but!
It's kind enough to beep at you very quietly to let you know when you're about to run out of money!
And and and!
They only charge you sliiiiiightly more per kilowatt/hour if you run out of credit.
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Apple Zone / Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
« on: April 29, 2013, 09:00:11 pm »You know, they have the chia-Obama, I think someone would actually make a chia-Roger. Just think how easy it would be . . .
Easy to do.
Impossible to undo.
IT WOULD BE GLORIOUS!
13
Apple Zone / Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
« on: April 29, 2013, 08:49:06 pm »
What have I told you?
NO MORE ROBOTIC PUSSIES!
NO MORE ROBOTIC PUSSIES!
14
Apple Zone / Re: Spagbook
« on: April 29, 2013, 08:45:38 pm »May I present... THE GAY BAR.
Which one is you?
What's that you say?
ALL of them?!
15
Apple Zone / Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
« on: April 29, 2013, 08:41:57 pm »Get her a Chia-TGRR. Everyone loves Chia-TGRR. It shows up as an oversized, vaguely humanoid lump. Water it daily, and watch the hair grow out of places you didn't know you had places! Hours of fun for the whole family and Pix will forgive your various and sundry transgressions.
Warning: England is the absolute perfect climate for Chia-TGRR, so do NOT leave outside, on account of what happened to Machu Pichu. Southampton would be overgrown in days, and then you'd have to fuck off to the Midlands until the Spaniards arrive to convert everyone.
Do not put your Chia-Roger where it can see a television, as we cannot be held responsible for the results of its blind rage. Do not attempt to comb your Chia-TGRR, as severe damage to your hands may result. Hose your Chia-TGRR down with Malathion once per week to minimize various vermin infestations.
Call today. Supplies are limited. Nine easy payments of YOUR VERY SANITY and it's yours to enjoy forever.
Sign me up!
Pixie is always pestering me for a pet, and the stick I found outside and called Ryan The Stick Insect is not longer doing the business.