It is, in fact, coming across a bit like "shut up, woman, you aren't even talking about the real problem, which is men's bodies being controlled by the church".
Which seriously as far as I can tell is not even in the same ball park of being as big of a focus by religion.
No. You're still missing the point. The problem isn't who is being victimized, it's that anyone is being victimized at all
(with the secondary problems that society is being influenced by irrational superstition and by people who are overzealously obsessed by stupid bullshit like ancient traditions [the number of actually worthwhile ideas that anybody came up with prior to the renaissance is so small that they could probably all be listed on one page; anything ancient is suspect at best]).
Let me try to translate the situation in a way that does not polarize the discussion:
Team 1: Religion tries to control women's lives, this is bad.
Team 2: Religion tries to control everyone's lives, this is worse.
Team 1: Women have it way worse than men, so talking about women is the main part of the discussion here.
Team 2: Gender is irrelevant to control being bad!
So Team 2 is saying that the suffering of women is irrelevant, and Team 1 is saying that women are not a subset of everyone.
Congratulations, you have both failed to communicate.
... Trying not to polarize didn't work at all!