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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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GASM Command / Re: IlluminatiGASM
« on: Yesterday at 07:06:45 pm »
I think it's brilliant, doing the same old jokes for 55 years.  It's very random.

It's amazing how many people seem to think they're the punchline when in fact, all of Discordianism is just the setup.

The day the last Discordian dies, they're going to yell out "The Aristocrats!"

Absolutely haunting.

Partly because there are some days I feel exactly how you describe Mr. Language.

Portland is in fact a weird place, though.  It's official slogan is "the city that works", which is a blatant lie.  It's unofficial slogan is "keep Portland weird".  When Portlanders say that, they don't mean Tucson weird or even Providence weird.  They mean a safe weird, like coloring your hair magenta and wearing lots of leather.  Nothing wrong with that of course, but that's not the only weird they get.  The whole fucking city is haunted.  It is full of cannibal street urchins.  It is run by psychopaths who hire murderous policemen who will cheerfully shoot you in the back of the squad car and call it a righteous shoot.  The river bends space, and streets change direction without corners or curves, the moment they cross a bridge.  There are rats the size of Rottweilers, and the strip clubs and bodegas are full of zero men and their flint-eyed girlfriends.  The sun doesn't exist.  I've been above the clouds, and there is no fucking sun.  It's missing.  Earth just flies in a straight line, through a gigantic cloud of God's piss, which is why it NEVER STOPS RAINING, even when you're drinking with a ghost.

To be continued

This is a brilliant paragraph, man.

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: The Dark Room
« on: December 16, 2014, 12:37:01 pm »
Very nicely done, QG.

Discordian Recipes / Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
« on: December 15, 2014, 12:40:41 pm »

"Until the bones melt" is a great measure.

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Leaving Providence
« on: December 12, 2014, 03:33:32 pm »
And Providence shrank and Providence shrank to a mote of dust.

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Whirlpool Memes
« on: December 11, 2014, 07:15:39 pm »
You guys should open with Never Gonna Give You Up.

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Most Wanted, #6 of ?
« on: December 11, 2014, 01:54:44 am »
LMNO knows the only good bars in the city.  They straighten their shit up at the very emtnion of his name, and regress as he leaves.  Like some sort of Khan of the old ways, he is the sole survivor of REAL PUNK ROCK.  He keeps these ways as history, for the new generation would not take it well, but neither is he reticent to use it on they who step

I miss having Richter around.  :lulz:

It's a tie in for the new Goat Simulator:  Thedas DLC.

Techmology and Scientism / Re: So M$ finally forced the 8.1 update...
« on: December 06, 2014, 01:29:38 pm »
Is it really a good idea to be giving technology to Scots?

They're just going to stuff it into a sheep's stomach anyway.

Propaganda Depository / Re: POPE cards
« on: December 06, 2014, 12:29:15 am »
So, I left them around town, left alot on the watering fountain at school, drove around dropping them out my car window, and covered the door mat into the dentists office.

Now we wait.

I've been waiting my whole life.

And nobody ever posted "missing fingers" ads on Craigslist.  :sad:

I think this reaction nicely sums up my first exposure to the chemtrail nonsense. "Oh man that's BRILLIANT," followed by, "oh wait you're serious."

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: the Bowling thread
« on: December 03, 2014, 04:20:16 pm »
Apparently, he dildoes about bowling a great deal, and questions whether anyone can truly enjoy an activity that they don't dildo about.



This shit is glorious.

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Most Wanted, #7 of ?
« on: December 02, 2014, 02:44:39 am »
That can is a lightsaber kayak.

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