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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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1
The aliens are all partying and we aren't invited.   :sad:

2
Or Kill Me / Re: NIGGERS!
« on: Yesterday at 10:29:32 am »
Damn that is edgy as fuck.

3
Literate Chaotic / Re: Comic Reviews and discussions
« on: September 17, 2014, 05:07:04 pm »
Yeah, I found my desire to follow Crossed waned pretty much when I began struggling to stay enthusiastic about any of it, except Si Spurrier's online epic Wish You Were Here. It's  by far and away the best arc, and closest to Ennis's original, twisted vision. WYWH delivered, every week with short, but quality serialisation, but it ended a few weeks ago. (good ending too) So I've been following Spurrier's other ongoing free online offering, Disenchanted, and I'm pleased to say it's up to his usual standard of complex, but followable plot driven Fairy (I know, right?) Shantytown shenanigans. It has the potential to become truly massive, and has growing wiki support so it looks like it's going to run and run. Avatar only have Disenchanted being serialised at the moment, but as a showcase for their stable of talent, their free webcomics are the Jewels in the Avatar Crown. Warren Ellis's FreakAngels is a staggeringly epic piece of literature, and beautifully drawn and painted by Paul Duffield, whose artwork I'd put up there next to Jacen Burrows. And Ellis seems to be able to manage long, epic Graphic novels with an ease and flair that's up there with Neil Gaiman easily. Grant Morrison is peerless when he's on form, but his consistency hits very flat spots, and his ability to tie all the loose ends up in a satisfactory ending is his obvious weak point (Invisibles) But I'm still a big fan of his work.

But Alan Moore is a comic book God. He's at least a generation older than  . . . . well, he must be older than Stan Lee was, maybe even  . . . well, his Methusalah like beard suggests well over 100 years, and he probably augments his vitality with mainlined Chaos Magick from some ancient Hebrew God he has trapped in a lead box somewhere. His stunning work on "From Hell" has me convinced he actually WAS Saucy Jack himself, how else would he know all that minute little details? If the Victorian Police who worked the (first ever forensic investigation any Police Squad) case were around today, they'd haul the old bastard in for some very serious questioning. But enough speculation, Moore practically invented the Graphic Novel format with "Watchmen", and set the bar so high that the only worthy peer competition was Gaiman's Sandman. He also took a well ropey Monster comic that no-one else wanted to bother with, because frankly, the whole thing was based around a walking, talking, depressed compost heap looking for revenge upon some hokey Frankenstienian Mad Professor, who's Niece he was in love with, and turned it into the flagship for any quality excercise in ret-conning old characters, "Swamp Thing". That was his opening into DC, and the American Comic Market, and the title ran and ran, outselling Batman, and Soops and making the other DC writers up their fucking game considerably. Then there's V for Vendetta, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Watchmen, Promethea, and the launch of DC's "Vertigo" titles on the back of "Watchmen" I think, because it was certainly aiming for a different demographic than DC was catering for at the time.

Vertigo paved the way for a whole wave of British writers and Artists that took America by storm really. Warren Ellis, Grant Morrison, Neil Gaiman, Jonathan Hickman, Brett Ewins, Mark Millar, Pete Milligan, Jamie Hewlett, Paul Cornell, And artists like Simon Bisley, Kevin McNiell, Bryan Talbot, Sean Philips, John MCcrea, the list really is endless. But more than anything, I think he inspired a whole generation of young British Talent, to write, write, write.

And before he even had a sniff at the American market, he was instrumental in the developement of 2000 AD, the benchmark for all those Brits who went across the pond, most of whom (Ellis being the main exception) had cut their teeth on Judge Dredd, Strontium Dogs, Slain, or ABC Warriors. Moore wrote some beautifully crafted serialised stuff for Fleetway and 2000AD like Halo Jones, Skizz, and lots of Dredd. But the most entertaining thing he's been involved in lately is his ongoing epic squabblefest with fellow Chaote and writer of no mean caliber, Grant "pass the anusol" Morrison. When interviewed, niether of them need much of a nudge in the other's direction to add some slow burning but long lasting fuel on the pyre of their Mage-Wars.

I'll drop this quote from Sci-Fi stalwart, Michael Moorcock,, regarding Morrison who in all fairness, DID start the whole bitchfest about derivitism or some such highbrow bollocks by being so fucking precious and sensitive, and continued to "not really give a shit" just as painfully for like, over 25 years now.  Anyway, Moore's friend, Michael Moorcock, on Grant Morrison.

 :roll:  ~ “I’ve read the work of Grant Morrison twice. Once when I wrote it. Once when he wrote it."~ Shots fired!

(Moore and Moorcock have almost come to blows over which one of them Morrison has plagarised more over the years)

"The only bone of contention between me and Michael Moorcock is which of us Grant Morrison is ripping off the most. I say that it’s Michael Moorcock, he says it’s me. We’ve nearly come to blows over it, but I’m reluctant to let it go that far"

That's very prudent of you Alan. Moorcock may be 20 years older than you, but he's the size of a Grizzly Bear.

Moore, in July, 1990 ~ "The reason I haven’t spoken about Grant Morrison generally ( :eek: ) is because I’m not very interested in him, and I don’t really want to get involved with a writer of his calibre in some sort of squabble"  ~ Well, how's that coming along then Mr Moore?  :evil:

And a little something from the long winded and very erudite Gwant Mawissun on accusations (Not from Moore I hasten to add) he copied Moore's style to get an industry break in America.

Morrison ~ *clears throat* ~ "Doing my own approximation of the “in” style to get gigs on Marvel UK books was, I thought, a demonstration of my range, versatility and adaptability to trends, not the declaration of some singular influence it has subsequently been distorted into over four decades – mostly by Alan Moore and his supporters, in what can sometimes feel like a never-ending campaign to undermine my personal achievements and successes and to cast me, at all times, in a subsidiary role to the Master"  :kingmeh:

Ouchy wowchy Grant, would you like some whine with that cheese?  :) What? there's more?

Morrison on Moorcock ~
~"On the basis of the “couple” of things of mine he claims to have read a long time ago, to insist that not only do I rip him off on a regular basis but his friend Michael Moorcock too? Can anyone tell me from which Michael Moorcock novels “Zenith” and “Animal Man” were plagiarized? (And if Moorcock made any complaints to DC in the ’90s, I never heard about them."

"Not content with deliberately misinterpreting a mere ten pages of my fifteen hundred page comic series, Moorcock – this “sweet, sweet man” – continues to this day to jeer and spit abuse. Here’s Alan Moore’s mate Michael Moorcock"   

Morrison quoting Moorcock, on Morrison  ~ "As far as I’m concerned my image of Grant Morrison is of someone wearing a mask, a flat hat and a striped jersey and carrying a bag marked SWAG.” ~

"Please Miss, Moorcock and Moore keep picking on me!" ~ Miss "Oh do sack up and stop whining Morrison, it's not very becoming. Now dry your eyes, blow your nose, and just ignore them."

""But . . but Miss!~ "MY practice of Chaos Magic during the 1980s and early ’90s clearly played into Alan Moore’s decision to declare himself a magician in 1993."! ~

Miss (probably Karen Berger) "I WON'T tell you again Morrison, you sound like a smug little Princess"

GM.~ "But it's just as plausible as Alan Moore’s outlandish attempts to claim that my entire career rests on two stories he wrote 30 years ago!" *sniffs*

Miss Berger ~"Right, that's it, you're fired!" fuck off, and take that pile of shite "Gideon Stargrave" with you . . . send in the Ellis boy on your way out"

Additional quotes by "Miss Karen Berger "based entirely on speculation, and gleeful faux-spite towards Grant Morrison.

Whom I actually revere as a writer, admire as a Chaote and a Thelemite, but I'm buggered if I can follow that garbled Porridge wog patois he speaks with (And no doubt campaigns for the dissolution of the Union with) Probably got all his wedge invested nicely in North Sea Oil too . . . .

 . . . . . Well you're not having it Scotland, We English found it, drilled it, and sold it to the fucking Ruskies and the Septics. You can pay $20 a gallon for the shit we import back from the Dutch.

Same as we do! And make no mistake me Boyo, we can still jump on any Terrorist / Republican sedition nonsense, just as hard as Longshanks or Good King Billy ever did!

SO, if you all vote "Yes" we're putting a 60% Export duty on Buckfast, just because we can! Can? Cans of Tennant's Super are to be rescheduled as a Class A Drug South of the Border, so you can keep the "oul Purple Can" to yourselves. And Irn Bru. (We only used to ever use it as Screenwash anyway . . . )

You can still have the concession for selling "Lucky Heather" to the Gyppos, and we'll make sure the EU still buy all your cheap, blended Scotch. Malt Whisky however, can now only be sold through the Royal Franchise of  "The Duchy of Cornwall Ltd" now. Got it? We'll send Harry Hewitt up with the details on Friday, if you're not still in The Union . . . Got that?  . . . . .


Wow, where did all that come from? Must be some Nationalistic Jingoism left from my WWI You tube comments thread,where I've been roundly bashing Septics, Belgians, Prussions Serbs and of course, the fucking French for  . . .well, over 2 years longer than WW1 actually lasted now.

Apologies to any Scotsmen I may have inadvertently abused, offended, or outraged with that dyspeptic little outburst, especially my man Pent the Gent, probably paddling covertly round the Border Coastline like a pent up pissed off Armada of paddling Tartan Terror representing the possible magnitude of what could quite credibly become The Scottish Navy's S.B.S. Or even the Whole Scot's Sea Defence deployment

Who needs English Trident equipped Nuclear Subs, when you have Pent paddling a Claymore equipped Tartan Kayak around Scapa Flow  In fact, I can see Denmark and Norway stepping up their own Sea Defences on the strength of that alone. I seem to have wandered a little bit off topic, but it's the vote today. And you know what? No-one in England really gives much of a fuck either way. Props if you boot the Westminster Crew to the kerb, it'll be worth it, if only to watch Cameron Baaaw and bleat like the little pissy panted bitch he is. It'll leave his coalition of Cawksukkin Cunts completely rekt, and what with a General Erection just around the corner too. I can see Boris leading the Tories this time. Like a Giant, Albimo Downs syndrome kid with ADHD and pockets full of Ritalin. Yet another Bullington Bastard at the Helm. Unless something awfully loud and "splodey happens in the House of Commons in the meantime. Metaphorical my scratchy English arse, I mean Semtex. Shape Charge. Big Dirty Barrels of six inch nails, tipped with depleted uranium, and radioactive ball bearings. And if anything does happen, It wont be the Muzzies, it will be the disgruntled Militant tech savvy "Phones 4 you" Crew, with backing from the redundant Lib Dem Shadow Cabinet. Who now have a Liberal Party reduced back down to the popularity they had under Jeremy Thorpe. The Dog murdering little Iron. Norman Scott, thy poor dead Labrador art avenged. OK, I'm done for now, I have to go and hunt down a Doner Kebab and a four pack of Stella Artois. Bye fer nao!

 :aaa:

4
GIGANTIC storm coming through, thanks to Mexico not controlling their hurricanes and letting them out of the yard.

Sky is black, we're supposed to get 6" of rain by morning, and this shit is supposed to continue until Monday night, which means we'll lose a bunch of roads.

Now you know how we feel.

EVERY DAMN YEAR.

I mean, after that little warning shot called Sandy you sent us a few years ago to see if Richter was paying attention turned and decided to have a Jersey Shore vacation it was only a matter of time before your rain divinity backfired.

The rains are coming to Arizona. A flood will spread across the land, seeping into the withered pores of the desert's skin. Sand-tainted effluvia will run deep into Tucson's mummified heart, swelling its size until it bursts like over-ripe fruit or a body left in the sun too long.

The rains are coming to Arizona. The steady drumming, the unending pummeling of the desert will cover other noises. It will mask the beating of Tucson's awakened, swollen heart. As that creaking, ancient organ squelches and contracts with renewed malevolence it will pump more vile pus into its spore making. Tucson will bloom like mold on damp walls. It will send its spores into the sewers. Into the sea. Into your lungs. And it will thrive, torpid and malicious, until the rains recede.

The rains are coming to Arizona. Everything will be covered in that metallic-sand scented slime that is Tucson's spreading disease. The rains are coming but they will not last long enough to drown Tucson. And when the rains are spent, when the sky is once more bare, then the sun returns. That burning ball of hate and evil will pound, pound, pound Earth until the last bit moisture has been wicked away, burned to steam and then nothing. And when everything is as desiccated as it was before the rain, when it has all withered once more into an inert husk . . . then beware the spores.

Damn good writing there, CPD. Damn good.

5
GIGANTIC storm coming through, thanks to Mexico not controlling their hurricanes and letting them out of the yard.

Sky is black, we're supposed to get 6" of rain by morning, and this shit is supposed to continue until Monday night, which means we'll lose a bunch of roads.

I thought we were preaching border protection. We're going to send away a bunch of kids who never did us any wrong and let an enormous fucking hurricane right through it? Fuck's sake that's backwards.

6
pention to ban history from our schools

something about time travelers using our own history against us

or  :?

7
Oh shit, really?

I loved the hell out of Diablo 2 (and 1. I am horribly old) so it's almost tempting to have another look at it. I just have very little faith left in Blizzard/Activision after the continuous bouts of dumb. Remember Real ID? No way that could have gone horribly wrong. If they drop that always online bullshit required for a single player game, I'll probably throw cash at it and hate myself accordingly. It's clearly a very different environment from the old Blizzard North days but I guess the basics of a Skinner box aren't exactly hard to replicate.

Yeah, I revisit Blizzard games for nostalgia purposes only. D3 isn't as terrible as I thought. They have a trial version that allows you to take each class up to level 13, so you can get a feel for it. Pretty reminiscent of DII, but not worth the price of admission, for me anyone.

*anyway. (DIII is still $40 for a digital download, plus $40 for the expansion)

If you're looking for a similar experience to Diablo II, Junkie, check out Torchlight and Torchlight II. Close to the same dev team, very similar gameplay, and something like $10 if you catch them on a Steam sale.

8
Oh shit, really?

I loved the hell out of Diablo 2 (and 1. I am horribly old) so it's almost tempting to have another look at it. I just have very little faith left in Blizzard/Activision after the continuous bouts of dumb. Remember Real ID? No way that could have gone horribly wrong. If they drop that always online bullshit required for a single player game, I'll probably throw cash at it and hate myself accordingly. It's clearly a very different environment from the old Blizzard North days but I guess the basics of a Skinner box aren't exactly hard to replicate.

Yeah, I revisit Blizzard games for nostalgia purposes only. D3 isn't as terrible as I thought. They have a trial version that allows you to take each class up to level 13, so you can get a feel for it. Pretty reminiscent of DII, but not worth the price of admission, for me anyone.

9
Also, I know you're not a console player, but I'm hearing from people who are some very bad things about Destiny.  Most of which I can confirm via watching some footage myself.  Don't believe the hype.  Borderlands IN SPACE with Peter Dinklage's voice telling you to kill things sounds amazing, on the face of it.  It's repetitive, grindy, pretty to look at but utterly uninspired in story, gameplay or progression.

The funny thing about Destiny is that everyone I know who picked it up did so because everyone else was going to play it. Not a single one said "Yeah I'm really excited about the game." The sale was in it being the next event that everyone plays together. I think that's cool and all, but it'd be nice if the game was, you know, good at all.

10
Section VII:  Do as the Romans Do

If one delves deeply enough into the Scripts the traveler will find volumes and more written upon the subject of cultural relativism in time travel. I would cite them as any responsible author should but for the simple fact that it would seem oddly self serving. I wrote them. I wrote most of them, at least, in my more naïve and verbose days, and so am comfortable in saying that they, and many of what came before them, are complete tosh. The responsible and interested traveler will nonetheless binge through the archives, I am sure, and this author urges them to be kind and to view them in the light reflected in this Almanac.

The truth about cultural relativism is not that a time is barbaric, or that a culture is barbaric. The truth is that humanity is barbaric. The issue of encountering a practice in travelling that is by any means of the word offensive is not one of if but of when. For the luckiest of our Walkers, and here please reserve judgment on use of that superstitious term until the later chapter entailing it, that first instance of indecency, of callousness, of villainous undertaking will be within the first year. For the average, it will be in less than a dozen visits.

It is upon first exposure to such acts that the harshness of our order's standards are understood. Prior to the Purge, we were encouraged even to participate in such atrocities so as not arouse suspicion, to act as impartial obervers if our own moralities prevented us from direct involvement. Before long even the greatest of our kind were laid low. Against the common bigotry, the casual violence, in the face of plutocracy and totalitarianism many of our brethren in all of our modern sensitivities were warped. Made hard and cold, tempered not to the strength of will we so value but beyond that to brittleness.

When the mob is gathered and the barrage is ready to begin, remember that he who is without sin should cast the first stone, and then do so. The Walker is without sin. Let the stone fly not with viciousness and hatred but with righteousness, and let it fly at the mob.

The aftermath of this act transitions nicely into the next section of our guide.

Section VIII:  On Ever Readying your Exit

11
Or Kill Me / Re: I Forgot Why I Wrote this
« on: September 11, 2014, 11:10:10 pm »
AND PEOPLE SAY PD IS DEAD

12
Discordian Recipes / Re: The McFadden
« on: September 10, 2014, 10:51:38 pm »
I look forward to photographs of this monstrosity.

13
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: My Lunch with P3nt
« on: September 09, 2014, 09:01:45 pm »
P3nt kayaked there, right through the desert, and punched a cactus for looking at him funny on the way back.

14
Skipped from XP to 7, will be skipping 8 as well and hoping the trend continues. I've never even used Vista or 8.

EoC, no complaints about MS.   8)

15
To be fair this is probably the most hostile book of the month club I've ever seen.

One of the authors joined us for a session once.

It did not end well.

Not joking.

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