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Messages - The Johnny

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2
Or Kill Me / Re: Autism adhd and rough drafts for forensic.
« on: January 28, 2015, 08:22:06 pm »

The concept of mental health is murky at best, and it needs a reference point... is it happiness? economical functionality? integration to society?...

ADHD is usually only considered a problem by either parents or teachers, but not by the child or its peers (for what its worth) and the medication is just usually a way to numb them up and shut them up. Are better grades at that age worth being drugged to oblivion? Probably not.... but what about highschool and beyond? perhaps if they themselves feel they cannot focus like they would WANT to be qble to, it can be called a disorder because it impairs their lives, but if they like being that way then its more a case of not being neurotypical.

In other words, there are two broad categories, neurotypical vs deviant, and both groups can respectively be within the spectrum of illness or disorder, depending on which stick is used to measure.

3
I, on the other hand, narrowly avoided killing a busker with an accordion this morning while getting a coffee.

Was it An disccordian accordion???

4
Or Kill Me / Re: Autism adhd and rough drafts for forensic.
« on: January 28, 2015, 05:38:30 pm »

From all of the rationalizations one can create to avoid treatment for mental illness, one of them is people don't recognize they have a problem in the first place - they rather are special snowflakes that none understand -; another rationalization is sweeping generalizations to discredit entire fields of research and professions.

By your own logic ALL doctors and nurses make people sick, mechanics ruin cars, engineers break their systems.

Trust NO ONE, so do surgery on yourself, fix your own car and self medicate.


5
Aneristic Illusions / Re: SARAH PALIN IS ACTUALLY RUNNING!
« on: January 28, 2015, 02:58:22 pm »

Im still waiting for Bush Jr. Jr. to run for office, much dissapoint.

6
Techmology and Scientism / Re: Microsoft enters the AR space
« on: January 26, 2015, 09:13:17 pm »
Just had a thought regarding this subvocalization malarkey. If you take understanding spoken language as a baseline, how far up or down is the fidelity required to grab music I play in my head?

I quite often invent whole bloody symphonies in my mind's ear but lack the dedication to figure out how to write it down in music language and then turn it into out loud shit. Only I get to listen to it. Would be the crown king of epic if I could just record the shit as it happened. Use it as backing tracks for kayaking vids.

Musicians and composers, spitting bullets about how it's just not cricket in 3... 2... 1... 

Perhaps if Pentagram would learn to read and fill a musical pentagram  :? :fnord:

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It's tumblr, right?

It's real.

I just had to have a talk with my own kid about why there is nothing "oppressive" about not diagnosing people under 18 (IMO 23-25 would be more appropriate, in fact) with personality disorders. Because different parts of the brain undergo major developmental surges at different times, effectively making everyone whose brain isn't done growing "disordered" if you held them to adult standards.

Fucking Tumblr.

To some people a diagnosis is a badge of specialness and a justificant for all their actions... and on one hand it is good for eventual treatment to have a diagnosis, but considering the pharma mafia lobby pushes to raise their stock value, how many diagnoses are even correct.

Also, diagnosis carries stigma.

Sorry if im not on point, i lost track on how far back the quote nest goes.

8

It also sounds like she's sending  you some "nope" signals, perhaps simply because she has too much on her plate to pursue a relationship right now.

Seconded. I would only add that even if she was sending signals of real interest, and I also DO NOT SEE 'EM here, it's a very bad time to be establishing the associations of a new thing. Some depressives even use a new relationship to feel better and discard the person after like a used tissue. This isn't necessarily sociopathy per se, just the consequence of being associated with indescribable pain in the aftermath.

I still don't know what's going on, I'm still waiting for a couple of weeks to pass giving her the space she asked for. For all I know her mother could be very sick or something; if this was someone i had just met, didn't know her nor her particular situation and went out like 3-4 times id just be like "blegh im done".

As someone who is "depressed and dating," I can relate a little bit to F. Sometimes, when you're really down, even if you want to go out, your depression makes it very difficult to allow yourself to actually go out. If I were F, I think I would appreciate some company that is willing to just stay in with me and relax, that way F would get some positive human contact without the potentially overwhelming struggle against her depression to muster the energy to go out, and it also helps avoid her possible regret of not taking the opportunity to go out when she had the chance. Depression can feed off of regret, so helping someone avoid potential regrets can be a highly effective way to assist them if they are also feeling very depressed. But, of course, this is all contingent upon the level of engagement you are looking to take on, and F's receptiveness to your desire to assist her.

Plus, I may not actually know what I'm talking about; I speak from personal experience, alone.

Im not a cheery person myself, and i dont go out much, i mean, at least not surrounded by strangers and big places, so I do understand it to a certain degree, but i rarely have trouble or impediment going out with individuals to quiet places (i know that's me, which is a type of middle ground between "normal" outgoing person and "hermit" or whatever).

One problem with "staying in" is that her mother is kind of bitchy ive been told, and from the few interactions ive had with her, it seems to be true.

I'm willing to stick with her very much, as long as it isnt something toxic or draining, everyone's had nightmare months, semesters or years, so depending on what kind of situation it is will be my level of involvement; Im under the assumption that a bad event happened, thats why im being tolerant, but if its just a mood swing or just because, ill file it under "too much chaos and drama" and be done with it.

what are your motivations for dating?

I really like her for who she is. I've had plenty of party years where its like, whatever, "water under the bridge", who cares moments of meaningless relations with people that were in the same wavelenght, but im tired of that, ive had quite a lot of dates in the past 5 years where i go out 1, max 2 times and understand its more of the same and either stay as friends or strangers cause theres not enough things in common or of interest. If my only interest was hooking up, its quite easy, just go somewhere with music and booze and im set. Shes caught my attention in a special manner and that doesnt happen often.

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/johann-hari/the-real-cause-of-addicti_b_6506936.html

Quote
It is now one hundred years since drugs were first banned -- and all through this long century of waging war on drugs, we have been told a story about addiction by our teachers and by our governments. This story is so deeply ingrained in our minds that we take it for granted. It seems obvious. It seems manifestly true. Until I set off three and a half years ago on a 30,000-mile journey for my new book, Chasing The Scream: The First And Last Days of the War on Drugs, to figure out what is really driving the drug war, I believed it too. But what I learned on the road is that almost everything we have been told about addiction is wrong -- and there is a very different story waiting for us, if only we are ready to hear it.

....

But in the 1970s, a professor of Psychology in Vancouver called Bruce Alexander noticed something odd about this experiment. The rat is put in the cage all alone. It has nothing to do but take the drugs. What would happen, he wondered, if we tried this differently? So Professor Alexander built Rat Park. It is a lush cage where the rats would have colored balls and the best rat-food and tunnels to scamper down and plenty of friends: everything a rat about town could want. What, Alexander wanted to know, will happen then?

Yes yes i know, drugs, and yes yes, double-crossed for making a point by citing a behaviourist, BUT, its such a short and well constructed argument as to how drugs in themselves are not the devil's seed, but rather the fertile soil which is alienation is what can make addiction flourish instead of it merely being a recreational activity.

I could possibly make it an interesting sob story as to why it caught my eye but i bore myself... some solid points as to why criminalization is a doomed and ignorant approach and that it serves nefarious purposes rather than "the children", etc.

10
I can't speak to her specific situation and triggers, but I'll try to give a nickel's worth of free perspective. I have the bipolar, but of the sort that tends to mania and hypomania. I have definitely experienced some few truly horrific depressions. If she is clinically depressed then her feelings and behavior are not about reason, and you should not seek her reasons.

The lashing out is a defensive act. It could seem to be simple or complex if you could get her to explain her motives in words but the real, irrational essence would be that the only thing she feels is pain and sharp negative emotions, thus that's all she can express without acting. If she is also proud any attempt to sympathize could be taken as a personal insult as it may seem demeaning and remind her of her current weakness.

I would suggest giving her space if she wants it and not attempting to use reason or asking how she feels. Communicate more through positive deeds and demeanor.

Also... not to tell you your business but pursuing "a relationship" with a depressive is tricky at best and a horrible and potentially life altering clusterfuck at worst. Consider a supportive friendship or otherwise maintain a certain objective distance or you may get dragged down too.

Yeah, im rethinking the rapport based on what im experiencing... at first i felt she was seeing someone else, but i started to understand that. the depression shes going thru seems deeper than what i thougth at first, and well, ive had bad times, im a social psychologist and have spent 2 years surrounded by schizophrenics, so i thought, eh a mild depression nothing too much out of the ordinary, but now i think i need to keep some emotional distance for my own good, thats what one friend told me too.

One significant turning point for the worse is when she stopped renting her own place around 2 months ago and moved into her mothers she seemed to, how to say it, i mean we arent upbeat people by any means, but she started to seem more weighted down, metaphorically speaking, with less energy and motivation.


11
Or Kill Me / Re: I'm sick.
« on: January 20, 2015, 09:40:25 am »
i know its easier to thrive on negative attention because it requires less effort, but getting others to be interested in you for your skills or positive qualities is more rewarding in the long run.

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And well, if anyone has been in a similar situation as me or her id greatly appreciatte it if you shared.

13
Today i wrote to her just to check in on hiw she was doing, and i shared some of the stuff ive been thru in years past, but she didnt seem to take it well, basicly told me that i know nothing, thats just the way she is and to leave her alone and that she wants nothing out of no one.

It does pain me, but im trying to understand her... i mean, i saw her 12 days ago and we were doing great... a week ago she said she had a problem she didnt want to talk about and that she was dissapearing for a while, and now her response just feels bitter and angry when i was just trying to be emphatetic.

I cant tell if something really bad happened (her ailing mother, idk?) or if her depression is simply that profound to lash out like that.

My idea is to just give her space some 2 weeks up to a month, then go visit her, and if i get a negative reaction ill just move on. I mean if this was someone i just met and was just for fun id be so done by now, i usually dont care enough to be involved in drama, but she feels special to me.

14
Some people avoid activities because they can't see any point to doing them, others avoid them because they can't actually be around people. It depends on her personality if she actually wants to be left alone or if she could really use some time with others. I know when I'm feeling like that, I have to force myself to be around people, and it does help a lot. If she's willing to get together, try steering activities toward outsidey things.

She pretty much hates everyone, and i can understand that, this city is one of the most conservative in the country filled with catholic militants that have a joy out of prejudice and a lot of conservative prejudice bullshit, and she doesnt filter herself out, but shes been explicit that she feels im not like others in that regard and stuff.

Sometimes we just spend time nearby her house walking around her neighborhood, or we walk at night around the historical center of city, other times we just play league of legends in my house.

15
Yah, I try to convey to her that I know by social standards she might get judged, which she does, but that I know its a difficult and anomalous situation and that i accept her as she is.

I clearly remember when i shut myself off from the world and recovering how hard it was, and im trying to remember if i would had been less miserable and had an easier time getting over it if someone reached out to me or if i really needed that alone, me time, which translates to me not knowing if letting her be or reach out to her, which can either be comforting or intrusive.

Maybe ill visit her in the evening, bring her some pirated music and see how it goes.

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