Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - Doktor Howl

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 1747
1
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court
« on: Yesterday at 05:33:52 am »
Yesterday I was reminded of the Orange eating contest because I had to stop my toddler from being fed oranges continuously.

*screams internally*


How old is the kid, now?

14 months
We're at the "understands words and HATE THEM" stage of life. Also I have grapple him to wipe shit from his ass.

That gets easier when they turn 20 or so.

Months or years?

Years.  ENJOY!

2
Today at work:

Me:  "...And so we can do it in house for $6580, or we can outsource it for $15000."

Vinnie:  "How is this even a question?"

Me:  "Well, that would depend on whose money we're spending."

Vinnie:  "You're more crooked than me."

Me:  "Well, yes,  You are young and do not have the deep-seated degeneracy that I have acquired through years of experience.  Anyway, the approach here is, you set it up as a capital project, say $15K, everyone freaks, you say you know a guy who knows a guy.  Then you say you can do it for maybe $10K, but you're going to need additional funds.  Half way through the project, you say your guys had a brilliant idea, it's going to cost $6580, and you're going to be under budget."

Vinnie:  "How do we benefit from that?"

Me:  "Because nobody asks for the $3420 back, and we stick it on the GL account for tools with what's left on there, and we go buy that sick ass new bore scope the HVAC guys have been drooling over for $5000."

Vinnie:  "Okay, but..."

Me:  "I'm not done yet."

Billy:  "You're gonna love this dude, he's getting religious."

Me:  "Then, because the tool costs $5000, at the end of the quarter, we back it into capitol, then we put the $5000 on the *equipment* line item with what's left on *that*, and we go buy an HVAC unit for the shop, which we need.  And THAT..."

Vinnie:  "THAT costs $5000, so we back IT into capital..."

Me:  "You see where this is going?"

Vinnie:  "Jail?"

Me:  "NOPE.  Totally legal.  I checked with the accounting guy AND the lawyer."

Billy:  "I smell malice."

Me:  "Your instincts are good.  I mean, all of this money has to come from *somewhere*..."

Vinnie:  "I was just gonna ask about that."

Me:  "We get first crack at capitol, so I'm going to steal <other division>'s money."

Vinnie:  "Won't they mind."

Me:  "Dude.  That's why we're doing this.  We don't even NEED a bore scope, you can rent one for $40/day.  What we NEED is to pick <other division>'s pockets while they stand there and WATCH US."

Vinnie:  "..."

Billy:  "I told you this was religious."

Me:  "This is all normal kids.  Welcome to The Corporation."

3
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: February 19, 2019, 05:16:45 pm »
And then Roger Stone learns that he is no longer in a position to talk all that good, good shit.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/former-trump-adviser-stone-ordered-to-appear-in-court-over-instagram-posts/ar-BBTNYp6?ocid=spartanntp

5
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court
« on: February 19, 2019, 04:44:29 pm »
Yesterday I was reminded of the Orange eating contest because I had to stop my toddler from being fed oranges continuously.

*screams internally*


How old is the kid, now?

14 months
We're at the "understands words and HATE THEM" stage of life. Also I have grapple him to wipe shit from his ass.

That gets easier when they turn 20 or so.

6
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court
« on: February 19, 2019, 04:35:13 am »
Yesterday I was reminded of the Orange eating contest because I had to stop my toddler from being fed oranges continuously.

*screams internally*


How old is the kid, now?

7
Apple Talk / Re: The aliens haven't contacted us because
« on: February 17, 2019, 08:31:51 am »
One order of HorriblenessTM at a time, my good man.

When you have a bucket of pus, do you differentiate between the various globs in the bucket?  No, you put a lid over the bucket and leave it at the drop off at Goodwill1.  Then you get an empty bucket and start collecting more pus.  Because, God knows, humans have plenty of that.



1 We all do it.  Don't deny it.

8
Damn. That place is like Tales from the Crypt meets the Twilight Zone meets Office Space.

It's awesome, really.  I wouldn't work anywhere else.

You say that because there's no where else TO work. Everywhere you'd go would be the same place with a different logo and different names for the morons.

Five and half years later, still true.   :lulz:

9
Aneristic Illusions / Re: UK General Election 8th June: Shake it all about?
« on: February 16, 2019, 12:57:06 am »
The Lib Dems and their 11 MPs

Oh.  You're fucked.

10
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: February 15, 2019, 10:13:00 pm »
Unsurprisingly, he did it.

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.cnbc.com/amp/2019/02/15/trump-national-emergency-declaration-border-wall-spending-bill.html

Of course he did.  He also said he knows the courts are going to tie this thing up until long after he's dead.  This is him trying to wiggle out of the corner he has painted himself into.

11
Aneristic Illusions / Re: UK General Election 8th June: Shake it all about?
« on: February 15, 2019, 10:11:55 pm »
So the government has actually failed to hire any ferries.

Also the UK has failed to roll over the vast majority of its existing trade deals, leaving over 100 billion in trade not covered by treaties.

I guess they felt that they couldn't allow Trump to dominate the stupidity.

Even the rest of the Tory party are getting sick of how the ERG has essentially hijacked the party.  There's been some pretty credible reports of discontents from both Labour and the Tories joining up with a Lib Dem backed venture.  I mean, that won't make things any better, probably just fracture Parliamentary voting blocks even further, and they're not exactly A-list names...but things are getting dicey.

If something isn't sorted by the 27th, No Deal is more or less guaranteed.

Is there any bloc at all that is saying you should just drop Brexit?

12
Apple Talk / Re: Spagbook
« on: February 15, 2019, 04:23:27 pm »
Louis Cypher?

13
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: February 15, 2019, 04:03:32 am »
The Billy Chronicles would make a great cartoon or something!

Comic writers all starve to death, so no.

15
Is there a political label for someone who thinks we made a massive mistake when we stopped being hunter gatherers?

I regularly fantasise about going off to live in the woods.

It's only the knowledge that its a stupid idea that would suck in reality that stops me... and also I need to do the laundry.

All kinds of very serious and well considered ideologies as based on stupid ideas. I think this could be a real go-er.

primitivist.  A lot of primitivists are even worse assholes than libertarians.

This is incorrect.  The least annoying primitivist is 100 times more annoying and flat out STUPID than any libertarian.  Which is saying a great deal.

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 1747