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Messages - Dildo Argentino

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1
Apple Talk / The Mania and the Depression
« on: December 24, 2018, 08:07:00 pm »
– Merry Christmas, and make sure you get some rest, will you!

– We’ll be resting all right, for a bit, maybe, but life is calling!

– Well, if life is calling, you must go. And then there are those times when it doesn’t call. It’s the worst thing in the world perhaps.

– Yes. I think that is depression, when life is not calling. But I trust that I have gone beyond that now, that I will not be in that predicament again.

– There is that level. You learn to notice when life isn’t calling you, and you get a move on yourself. You learn that when you find yourself in a place where life is not calling you, it’s high time to move along. Don’t stay therem not even a minute, get marching right away.

– I guess you’re right.


*

Of course later on, professional that I am, I polished it up a little more. Aiming for exactitude, I would say that depression is when one does not hear the call of life (it has become my conviction somehow that life is always calling), and despairs. And getting over depression is when one learns that, instead of despairing, it is better to clean the ears, move the head about, and to move away from that place with poor acoustics.

*

But what, then, is mania?

In the human individual, when it is created, the instinct to engage with the world is overwhelmingly strong. The call of life rings out in the voice of angelic trumpets and there is no question about it, I am already following the call.

Often it happens that at that precise point,
I get punched in the nose.
Stabbed in the stomach.
Abandoned.
Betrayed.
Hurt.
Tortured.
Tormented.
Considered less than nothing.
Ridiculed.
Misunderstood.
Subjected to indignation,
decried a sinner,
placed in a salt well,
killed,
shoved bit by bit
in the direction of death.

If that becomes chronic, and there isn’t anybody there who understands what is happening, if there is nobody available to show this, to plead for and receive solace from, the ability to answer the call of life is compromised. Eventually, the call itself grows quiet, recedes to the depths, becomes unnoticed, as if it weren’t there at all (of course it is there until the very moment of death, although it may wither away to a tiny, thin, fragile little red thread).

But then on the other hand…

life is the strongest thing there is.

And when that baneful, curled up, inward-turning, self-reproaching, cold and necrotic and silent and constricted way of being finally brings me to the very edge of what I can take, the call of life breaks through the long-built prison walls, and I respond with extasy and exhilaration, vibrating with joy as I notice that I can still hear that horn, that I am still able to cry out my answer and to follow.

That’s the beginning of mania.


Only turning away from life for an extended period weakens and sickens the musculature of life.

Joy slowly turns into compulsion,
a drivenness,
and the wounds from whose pain
I turned away in the first place
begin to hurt,
with all the pain
I had chosen
not to feel
before.

This is like twisting a knife
that a wound has healed around,
twisting it hard,
maybe many years later.

The personality creaks and buckles under the stress,
and the human begins to want to fall apart.

And the manic person needs
input,
input,
input:

experiences,
information,
objects,
whatever,
more
and more
and more.

Because after a period of disengagement,
if I wish to re-engage with the world,
I need to orient myself:

I need to know
what the world
is like.

People get a little reckless in this vortex.

With the exception of very rare lucky instances, this is the time of sedation. Of narcosis, of forgetting, of the drop of saliva stretching from the edge of the lower lip, the repetitive movement, the soft, sickly warmth of the asylum. Faintly, it smells of urine.

Like it happened to my dad, many times over. He’ll be 80 in April, and he has given up entirely, long ago. There isn’t much I wouldn’t give to see him shine just once more, no matter how crazy, how sickly his light would be, but there is very little chance of that.

 

That’s not something he has done to himself.

 

Others did this to him. The mania is his, but the sedation is ours.

 

To be honest, I would not protest if we were to do this somehow differently from now on.

*

An old man fond of tall tales once related that in India there is a social class, a part of the middle class, who can presently avail themselves of the services of the both old-style witch-doctors and modern medicine, as they see fit. If, in one of those families, a young person in their early twenties goes mental, not sleeping, talking strange all the time, throwing out truly bizarre ideas to improve the world, a great deal depends on where the family seek help.

If they turn to the village witchdoctor, this is the advice they get:

Call the entire family, all the relatives, all the friends, and hold a week-long festival in honour of this young person.

Celebrate them:
there should always be someone to listen to them with rapt attention,
praise them,
bask in their beauty,
feast,
drink,
be merry.

Within 3 or 4 days, the patient will calm down, have a good, long, healthy sleep, and return to their normal life. Although it is quite possible that they will make some major adjustments to it, the excessive spinning will abate, and it will not return. If it should, after a number of years, the treatment is to be repeated. There’s never need for a third occasion.

 

And then that happens.

 

But if they go see a psychiatrist, they will receive this advice: sadly, the child suffers from bipolar disorder.

We will now sedate him,
put him to sleep for a few days,
and that will relax him.

Sadly, it is an incurable disease,
but,
luckily,
its symptoms can be kept in check.

They will have to take medication for the rest of their lives,
and they should be kept under vigilant observation,
because, unfortunately, it may often happen that
they will forget that they are ill,
stop taking the medicine
and become
dangerous to self
and society
again.

And then that happens.

3
Apple Talk / Re: Dear the Generalissimo Papa
« on: December 21, 2018, 12:16:15 pm »
"Between P-Funk and Hirley0"

That's like the rock and the hard place, right?

4
Apple Talk / Re: Allow me to introduce myself...
« on: December 21, 2018, 12:13:44 pm »
Hi, Kevin,

"I'm new here and thanks for having me here."
I am not having you here. you came of your own accord.

"Demographic: 36 and United States, New York
Professional Info: well marketing for gaming website, https://www.gametop.com. Visit if you love some online free games. I love playing games for entertainment and i'm sure most do"
What's "well marketing"? Did you come here to advertise? I hope for your sake that you didn't. I don't like free online games, I don't like entertainment and I don't like you much.

"What you like to do in your free time: games, games, and more games."
No, actually not me. I play 3D tetris about 5 times a year, board games with my kids 'cause they deserve it, and I play music. The stuff you are referring to is offensive bollocks, in my considered opinion.

"Sometimes just chill and have a a beer."
That's good to know. Try sticking a couplefew tabs of acid in it.
 
"What kind of topics / projects are you interested in?"
How is that any of your business, exactly?

"Anything that is creative, interesting and refreshing...Cheers"
Well, if your intention was to provide a conclusive demonstration to the effect that you are a vacuous moron, hats off to you, Sir!

"How did you find Eris and what did you to her once you found her?"
I found her by living a full and risky life, something you may also have heard about in movies. Once I found her, I offered my respects and tried to be on my best behaviour. So far, she's been easy on me.

5
Best of luck, even though I think the deck is stacked against you on this one.

I have no doubts that we will adhere to our glorious tradition of all failed revolutions, wars of liberty and bids for independence. In the meantime, we have fun. This is what we did outside parliament last night. https://www.facebook.com/bruno.fuchs.92/posts/1196122187229770
It was cold, but some people danced.
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

6
Apple Talk / I'm grateful. And there's nothing you can do about that! :D
« on: December 17, 2018, 05:56:24 am »
We seem to be having a bit of a revolution over here. Spirits are high, people are cavorting in the streets, policemen are having shit thrown at them, politicians are being told in no uncertain terms where they can stick it. The final straw was the "slave law", which allows employers to force workers to do overtime while also allowing them to pay for that overtime up to three years after it is actually worked. But the bastards also plan to pass another law on Wednesday which will kinda put an end to Hungary having anything remotely like an independent judiciary. The dance continues.

The other day I was in conversation with some fellow dissenters and I said:

There's this guy in America, he used to hate my guts, I think now he just thinks I'm an assburgered silly cunt, in fact, there's an entire bunch of people over there who think I'm an annoying, narcissistic, attention-whoring simpleton, but I've learnt a great deal from them. His most important teaching, and I'm afraid I may not be quoting verbatim, was something like "if we agree on 30 percent of important things, we may not be able to work together. If we agree on 60-70 percent of important things, we're made for each other, let's stand up to power together. If you think we agree on 100% of important things, go see a psychiatrist!".

So there goes (and I think it's quite funny): I am grateful to you, guys, and I am particularly and personally grateful to you, Roger. And there's very little you can do about it!

Thank you.

7
Apple Talk / Re: Pretending is more powerful than you know
« on: December 11, 2018, 04:29:54 am »
Sometimes the thing that's got you fucked up is too insignificant to justify just how fucked up you are.

Sometimes the monsters have no nads for you to kick.

Sometimes you find yourself overdosing on adrenaline and cortisol for no good reason at all.

Sometimes there's no hope of a satisfying narrative conclusion.

And you can hide from this reality, and you can deny this reality, you can live in this reality with no hope of ever growing up or out of your petty trauma and maladaptive coping mechanisms. You can be furious with this reality, and scream into the unfairness of not having a moment to dredge up and fight and win. You can insist that no you're fine really and let everyone else carry the burden of your shit, because you won't.

But these are choices, and you have other options as well.

If a narrative conclusion is what you need, then go and fucking make one. Your head's as big as mine, as big as all our heads: whole universes fit in there. Start using that machine for something more productive than Marvel Cinematic Universe continuity errors. Build yourself a monster and fight it. Build yourself a trauma and overcome it.

You've always been a flighty kid, a dreamy kid, a kid with an overactive imagination. Stop hating that and start using it. Stop wasting it on entertainment and start using it to heal yourself. Write a better story. Run a better game. Make better art. Run that "coming to terms with the past" narrative over and over until it wears a rut in your brain as familiar as the one that says you're an idiot who can't do anything right. Make it as automatic as the path from your bed to the toilet.

Because it turns out your brain doesn't actually give a shit whether the bad thing you're getting over is real or not, it just needs practice going through the motions. It turns out healing is a habit like any other, and "cheating" means absolutely nothing in this context. Sure, there are folks with specific monsters with nads they can kick, who need to spend time doing that thing, but if you are one of the many who is broken because of a thousand papercuts instead of a sword wound, take heed.

Pretending is more powerful than you know.

Excellent thinking there.

Seeking permission to translate into Hungarian and publish, with link to original here. Or alternative, acceptable solution.

8
Apple Talk / Re: Postergasm Brainstorm
« on: November 24, 2018, 05:41:56 am »
How's about this one?

"RUGGED INDIVIDUALISTS OF THE WORLD,UNITE!"

9
Principia Discussion / Re: Chaos is Energy
« on: November 16, 2018, 05:56:14 pm »
Firstly, how do I get to know what creativity means to me? What's the advice for uncertainty about that?

Aren't you the Pope? Get Eris on the horn, ask her directly.

Yeah you know I do that, but I'm acutely aware she could be having me on!

10
Principia Discussion / Re: Chaos is Energy
« on: November 16, 2018, 04:40:50 pm »
Soooo...........


It sounds like you're going down the a priori/a posteriori road with a large backpack of epistemology, hauling a wheelbarrow full of semiotics.

You might want to deal with that before even approaching the OP.

The OP? What I wrote? How could I have written it without approaching it? Long pencil?

Also, frankly, no. Must be some weird acousics.

11
Principia Discussion / Re: Chaos is Energy
« on: November 16, 2018, 03:32:32 pm »
:D Okay fair enough. But let me reframe it:

Firstly, how do I get to know what creativity means to me? What's the advice for uncertainty about that? I don't think it's all that rare.

Also, I think for people who are pretty sure about what creativity and and destructiveness mean to them, it might be bad advice.

Of course I don't really see how advising people in general is possible beyond the profoundly self-evident (which does come in handy at times).

12
Principia Discussion / Re: Chaos is Energy
« on: November 16, 2018, 06:14:26 am »
I kinda think that the original framers of the Principia1 did believe in a hierarchy between creative and destructive forces. While Order/Disorder are equal and up for interpretation, their advice is to embrace creative over destructive, whatever that means to you.

Whether this "creativity is better than destruction" hierarchy is moral, or cosmic, or comic, or spiritual, or arbitrary--is anybody's guess.

1 the OG Chairfuckers, you know who I mean

In a way, it seems self-aggrandizing to me. (And I should know about that shit!) As if I were ever in a position to know for sure. "I am part of that power which eternally wills evil and eternally works good." - Mephisto in Goethe's Faust

13
Principia Discussion / Re: Chaos is Energy
« on: November 15, 2018, 07:23:17 pm »
But seriously, Dildo quoted your response, so does he believe you used mind beams to change his quoted text?

Well, you know it would take considerably less than mind-beams ( :

But on the balance, I admit that by far the most likely explanation is simply that I was being a dozy fuck. Maybe some vague recollections about... never mind. dozy fuck. :D

14
Principia Discussion / Re: Chaos is Energy
« on: November 15, 2018, 07:19:26 pm »
I haven't read the whole discussion, most of the linked content is dead, sadly. I did read the post you linked to, and I liked your characterisations of the pairings (though I don't understand the Atlantean stuff).

The most halfassed thing that occured to me as I was reading was that this reminds me of the courtly cards in the tarot. Both the coins/cups/swords/sticks and the Princess/Queen/Prince/Knight sequences are supposed to be analogous to earth/water/air/fire, so the courtly cards form a matrix similar to the New Chart. But that's as far as that went...

The other thing I've been thinking about is whether the Order/Disorder and the Creation/Destruction dimensions are on the same level, and whether they are independent. I think order/disorder are qualities that tend to be ascribed to states of affairs, while creative/destructive are ascribed to processes. It even feels quite natural to describe creation as movement from disorder to order, and destruction as movement from order to disorder. Then I tried to think of a way of defining order and disorder in term of creation and destruction, and I could only come up with: order is the precondition of destruction and the result of creation, while disorder is the precondition of creation and the result of destruction - but that's saying the same thing. Also, where do I fit the static-dynamic duality into all this?

The "this smells like hippie shit, it's still dualistic, and we like breaking things" bit was very much after my own heart. But this is still dualistic, isn't it?

Also, all four appear to be perspective/ascriber-dependent. The very same thing is seen as beautious order by some and as atrocious disorder by others (industrial agriculture versus permaculture, regimented, Prussian-style schools and project-based learning, person-centered schools), and the very same acts are seen as creative and destructive (often in sequence).

That's as far as I got for now.

15
Principia Discussion / Re: Chaos is Energy
« on: November 15, 2018, 05:41:51 pm »
If it was edited, there would be italicized script underneath it, saying so.  But you know that.

Well perhaps I had known, but I forgot. It was a while back.

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