Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - ReverendJesus

Pages: [1] 2
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: February 19, 2018, 01:02:04 pm »
A fake bead of sweat forms on the android's forehead

I like this. I've got the image in my head here of a cut to a closeup on a nozzle specifically designed to extrude fake beads of sweat.
As a matter of fact, Ouestionable Content's alternate universe has specifically addressed this issue. They have a little nozzle, and a "thick whitish fluid" comes out.

Apple Talk / The most OM flim I have ever heard of
« on: February 19, 2018, 12:18:08 pm »
So. Just found out about this one a little while ago; this is a gloriously bizarre story of mindfuckery. This is so OM, _we still don't know who was being pranked_ -- the crew of the Film, the crew of the Documentary, or the audience of the Feature Film. I absolutely love everything about this story; it's a short film being made in Central Park. There is a documentary crew shooting about the making of the film. The "actual" director -- the central mindfucker of the equation -- is playing, or possibly "playing," the director of the film, which is a fictional short film shot in Central Park. There's a crew shooting a "making of" documentary, who appear on screen, shot by the actual, or possibly "actual," documenters, who are shooting the footage for a feature film about the making of the documentary. The film is terrible, and it becomes clear that the crew suspect the director has no plan for the film, he's just doing busywork until he thinks of something...
I can barely get my head 'round the story. I shall follow up this thread once I've found a place to watch it...
Oh, it's called Symbiopsychotaxiplasm Take One.

Apple Talk / Re: Sooooooo...
« on: February 02, 2018, 06:39:50 am »

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Theological Questions!
« on: February 02, 2018, 06:37:42 am »
Is Christianism compatible with Santaism?

Clarify. Do you mean LeVeyan satanism or Gilles-de-Rais/David-Berkowitz/Richard-Ramirez satanism?

Don't forget The Satanic Temple, who are about as theistic as...well...atheists

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: January 31, 2018, 05:28:26 am »
'Desk Haka'
'Bout died when I read that.

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Is anyone here an advocate for non-violence?
« on: January 30, 2018, 07:25:48 am »
To those who say violence doesn't solve problems:

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: January 30, 2018, 06:35:13 am »

Billy:  "Have you memorized the Glengarry Ross monologue yet?"

Well...have you?

Dude, this is composed of win and awesomesauce. Well done.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Free Russian Orphans with Every Purchase
« on: January 27, 2018, 11:10:34 am »
Oh in other news, we put our IT guy in an office with windows.  This is a good thing, but feels wrong somehow.
Why is he out of his room?

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Theological Questions!
« on: January 24, 2018, 09:21:05 am »
What the fuck is up with Satanism?

They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".

"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]

Real simple equation, here.
Christians won't stop vomiting their hate-filled word salad at kids in school just because the Atheists said so, and an atheist can't threaten anything that the jeebusfreak is scared of. Lawsuit? Big deal! My church has a legal fund for this kind of thing. Violence, vandalism, disruption? Super easy to get the cops to take the "disruptive citizen" out of the meeting you're trying to stop them opening with a prayer.
But you know who can threaten shit they believe in? The Devil.
"If you don't get the fuck off the football field with your prayers, we're gonna arrest you and your name will be in the paper and Pat Robertson will make you fucking famous" isn't a deterrent.
So you can't play by YOUR OWN rules here -- YOU'VE GOT TO PLAY BY THEIRS.
What are these simpering fucknozzles afraid of?
That's right, boys and grills: the satyr under the bed.
"If you don't stop handing out your little god-pamphlets, then Mister Satan gets to hand out coloring books!"
It's the only thing that shuts them down.
Look how quickly they cave when TST brings that stupid bronze statue of Baphomet to their little one-horse towns!
Sometimes, when junior's afraid of the monster in the closet, the easiest way to keep him in bed is to tell him it's real.
It's all OM.

In case you haven't been paying attention, we're always fucked. There is never any hope and this time it is always different. This time it's usually foreals, as opposed to all the other times before where we were told it was foreals but it turned out not to be, this time it truly is. Just like all those other times.

Worrying about whatever brand of foreals bullshit is being paraded as the end of civilisation this month got old for me some time around my mid 20's. The last one I remember giving a passing fuck about was the nuclear holocaust that failed to materialise, with clockwork regularity, on the hour, every hour for about a decade and a half, thus ruining any shot of passing into adolescence and planning for the future I might have had.

Protip: We are not fucked. We never have been and, to the best of my knowledge, we never will be. Now I know that's not what you might want to hear but, unfortunately for you, that's how it is. And always has been, ever since the first hysterical monkey learned to rub his opposable, panic stricken thumbs together and yell "We're fucked and there is no hope" Primate was wrong then and he's still wrong seven billion years down the line.

In an existential sense, yeah, sure we're fucked. Pretty soon each and every one of us is going to start rotting and dying and, if you manage to avoid being crushed by a falling piano, the best you have to look forward to is trying to remember who your family are and how to piss and shit without it filling up your trousers. Yeah, in this sense we are all fucked. To death. There is no Jesus, Allah or the fucking tooth fairy going to stick you back together again. Couple of years from now - you die. Enjoy.

Meanwhile you got options. You can either worry about how hard you are about to be fucked (foreals this time) or you can choose to not give a shit about the impending dildo apocalypse or, even better, to laugh at all the assholes throwing their life away whining about how it's not fair and how we're all fucked. There are victims on every corner. Corners they mostly painted themselves into and refuse to leave. That shit's funny if you have the stomach to laugh. If you don't then yeah, we're all fucked.

Foreals this time.


There are differences in cranial size, brain size, structure, etc between races

"See these three dimples on the back of the skull?"

Apple Talk / Re: Introductions, Part VI: Welcome to Our PD Party
« on: January 23, 2018, 03:50:28 am »
You're probably just a whole bunch of tiny Russian bots

I might be, or I might be a horse-sized duck.

Pages: [1] 2