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1
Hoops... You went into a bet with Roger about the PD habits of trolls...





Make your time.

I also datamined the FUCK out of Lucas and sent it to Nigel.  This does not indicate that I wish to dance in the wildflowers with her.

I just don't tolerate doorstepping, especially when kids are brought into it.

I am waiting for the last of his amazingly limp-dicked criminal record to trickle in, then she gets that, too.

Then we can go back to pretending each other doesn't exist.


Excellent.

I still admire both of you, whether you talk to one another or not.

4
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Schools now have M16s
« on: September 19, 2014, 10:52:03 pm »
You know what really drives me insane. It's the reason I sometimes entertain notions that maybe there really is a hell and I'm in it. This shit is glaringly obvious to me. Now I'm no einstein but when something is that obvious, it doesn't take a retard to figure it out. So how come billions of people (many of whom are presumably capable of reading and writing and feeding themselves and shit, are utterly blind to such an obvious fact. And then it occurs to me they're not really people. They're some kind of automatons and the world would be better if they were all dead.

So I'm not actually certifiably insane (anymore) and I know to start murdering people in cold blood because they seem like automata is some really screwy and twisted thinking so acting on it is totally out the question. Not just morally but rationally. I'm fine with this but this niggling feeling persists. So every now and again I turn on the teevee and I watch them killing themselves and each other en masse, for the most hilariously dumb reasons that you couldn't even make up and it makes me feel a bit better.

This is my guilty secret.  :oops:

If this were hell, nothing would work right.  Not even the systems used to punish people...I don't mean governmentally, though they are included.  I mean the day-to-day grind. 

Would you guys keep it down? The game is on.

7
I've been slowly realizing I actually moved to Tuscon from Portland. It explains why even though I know the sun is always trying to kill me here, yet I cheerfully grab my asthma inhaler and bottle of ice water and ride off into heavy traffic.

 :lambs:

But at least there's no mold.

8
This struck me as surprisingly relevant to our species:

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0003347203922305

Quote
Abstract
In a series of four experiments, we examined the relationship between male dominance and female preference in Japanese quail, Coturnix japonica. Female quail that had watched an aggressive interaction between a pair of males preferred the loser of an encounter to its winner. This superficially perverse female preference for losers may be explained by the strong correlation between the success of a male in aggressive interactions with other males and the frequency with which he engages in courtship behaviours that appear potentially injurious to females. By choosing to affiliate with less dominant male quail, female quail may lose direct and indirect benefits that would accrue from pairing with dominant males. However, they also avoid the cost of interacting with potentially harmful, more aggressive males.

Oh hell yeah... that and primate research that shows that females of various primate species will frequently not only take the opportunity to slip away and mate with a preferred low-aggression male while the high-aggression males are fighting over her, but that they will, when being pursued by a big aggressive male they aren't interested in, often lead him past, and flirt with, other aggressive males for the sole purpose of getting him off her back so she can go mate with a less-aggressive male. Probably unsurprisingly, the males that seem to be most preferred are the ones who spend the least time fighting and the most time grooming other primates.

:awesome:

9
Principia Discussion / Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« on: September 08, 2014, 01:09:01 am »
:thanks:

10
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Kim Kierkegaardashian
« on: September 06, 2014, 05:00:20 pm »
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Oh man, this is the best thing on Twitter ever!

11
Principia Discussion / Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« on: September 06, 2014, 06:07:40 am »
That's begging to be the opening chapter of a novel.  In fact, if you could sustain that, an entire literary novel on the theme of butthurt would probably sell really fucking well.

Thanks! I've actually never considered that because I've been completely obsessed with expressing "A Universe of Assholes" visually.

I think you've helped me make a breakthrough.

12
Principia Discussion / Re: How many people are Addicted to Forums.
« on: September 06, 2014, 05:24:43 am »
I was butthurt for years. My asshole was inexplicably and incredibly irritated no matter what I did. Hypoallergenic everything. Cotton underpants. Jamming a giant dildo all up in there. Cutting out the spicy food. Taking medication for intestinal parasites. Having a nurse show me where my prostate is. Showers. Baths. No bathing period. It was fucked up man.

Everywhere I would go, my butthole taunted me. You can't itch it in public but you can scratch your buttcheek in a way that causes friction on your shithole—an art that I mastered very quickly. On an near autonomic level, I would smear my buttcheeks against the chair in a twitch of rage, my face slightly flushing in extreme restrained horror. Did someone see that? Can other people decode these surreptitious anal paroxysms? I became suspicious of anyone shifting a little too vigorously in their seat.

I started having fantasies of being in the passenger seat of a car doing 60 on a gravel road, opening the car door, and dragging my bare anus against the ground. I stopped trusting myself around power sanders. Rose bushes and their long straight stems full of thorns beckoned me. Maybe I could just murder it with a large bore power drill and get a prosthetic anus installed.

I went to a Vipassana meditation retreat for a week where you had to sit still on your ass for hours and hours and hours every day. The first day I wanted to violently attack every human being in my vicinity. Look at those shits, sitting peacefully on their stupid fucking meditation pillows. They have no idea I'm a raging nutcase barely holding on to my stillness by half an ass hair. By day two, I was hallucinating. By day three, I received waking visions of a rusted, filthy ten foot diameter pipe expelling fish at total capacity, but the pipe turned into an laughing Asian man's anus, still excreting the same volume of fish. After the last day, I told everyone I hated them and I went home.

Then, for no apparent reason, I was fine. I have no idea when exactly or why it went away. It was like it never happened. All this time I thought I'd be shitting out a gigantic, mutant tapeworm, snapping at my buttcheeks, thrashing in the toilet water. But instead, it just vanished, just as mysteriously as it arrived.

13
Aah, can't type fast enough on borrowed tablet. Must go do Dad stuff.

14
I want to play too, so I'm starting my poor person's weight training regimen.

So far it's been a backpack full of books with waist and chest straps on while doing a few sets of push ups and squats. Then I do some kettlebellish cleans, which work surprisingly well considering the bulkiness of the pack.

I'm starting with about 30 pounds of books, but I'm going to have to find something heavier to put in there because it's not quite enough.

More reps with a low weight is a better way to start.  THEN raise the weight.

Also, dumbells are surprisingly cheap, and they can be used to work complimentary muscles so you don't wind up all lopsided.

I'll check it out. My roommate might split the cost with me.

Yeah, a guy your size, you'd need a pair of the following sizes:  10 lb, 15 lb, 20 lb.  You should also have something resembling a bench, but it's not entirely necessary.


Probably can jerry-rig something with some pallets and foam.

What's important is that it be stable.

Point. Might see what I can find on Craigslist.

15
Thanks Waffles. Sweet pooch!

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