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Messages - P3nT4gR4m

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Or Kill Me / Re: America knows no sanitation
« on: February 02, 2009, 07:35:08 pm »
I don't get it. You work in a nightclub that sells groceries and children's toys :?

Why so much chuck?

I'm guessing Wal-Mart.

That's the guys who bought over our native ASDA. Why so much vomitus? If I saw someone spewing in a fucking food aisle that motherfucker would get the living shit kicked out of them before using their face and inhale-reflex to clean the shit up :argh!:

Or Kill Me / Re: America knows no sanitation
« on: February 02, 2009, 06:31:52 pm »
I don't get it. You work in a nightclub that sells groceries and children's toys :?

Why so much chuck?

« on: February 02, 2009, 11:19:41 am »
After the success of the Colbert project I offer my bodyweight in grapes to the first person who convinces Obama to include the phrase "for great justice" in his next public address.

Literate Chaotic / THE MACHINE STOPS -- E.M. Forster (1909)
« on: February 02, 2009, 10:12:05 am »
Came across this little gem this morning...

Let your ideas be second-hand, and if possible tenth-hand, for then they will be far removed from that disturbing element - direct observation. Do not learn anything about this subject of mine - the French Revolution. Learn instead what I think that Enicharmon thought Urizen thought Gutch thought Ho-Yung thought Chi-Bo-Sing thought LafcadioHearn thought Carlyle thought Mirabeau said about the French Revolution. Through the medium of these ten great minds, the blood that was shed at Paris and the windows that were broken at Versailles will be clarified to an idea which you may employ most profitably in your daily lives. But be sure that the intermediates are many and varied, for in history one authority exists to counteract another. Urizen must counteract the scepticism of Ho-Yung and Enicharmon, I must myself counteract the impetuosity of Gutch. You who listen to me are in a better position to judge about the French Revolution than I am. Your descendants will be even in a better position than you, for they will learn what you think I think, and yet another intermediate will be added to the chain. And in time" - his voice rose - "there will come a generation that had got beyond facts, beyond impressions, a generation absolutely colourless, a generation

seraphically free

From taint of personality,

which will see the French Revolution not as it happened, nor as they would like it to have happened, but as it would have happened, had it taken place in the days of the Machine."

Or Kill Me / Aneristic Utopia
« on: February 01, 2009, 04:28:21 pm »
In the dungeon of contentment a trapdoor slams shut under the weight of apocalyptic irony. The burned out firebrands no longer cast a flickering glow on the chained corpses hanging from the walls, held together by the centuries old cobwebs of extinct spiders. The time for action came and went, unnoticed by all but a tiny minority whose voices were swallowed by the tide of nostalgia, bodies frozen stiff by the winters of uncertainty. As the last vestiges of humanity succumbed to apathetic reasoning and the bureaucracy of fate the hinges creaked and the portal covered, never to be opened again.

Somewhere in the damp, musky depths of this eternal monument to the triumph of order over freewill a faint, rhythmical clicking is heard, a single solitary rodent gnaws the bones of a skeleton in search of marrow, long dried up. Less than an hour from now the delicate silk spun structure will collapse, crushing the last glimmer of life in this solemn tomb but for now, in this place, the rat is king.

It was no revolution or bloody conflict that led us here. Hell did not descend on earth, with a fanfare and a clamouring of steel but rather it crept up slowly, over a period of millennia, it's advance so subtly imperceptible to a race who's attention was forever focussed in the wrong places, vigilantly searching for the wrong things. The world did not end in a blinding explosion of fire and brimstone. It ground to a halt like a clockwork machine that didn't realise it had to wind itself up to keep going, comforted all the while by the realisation that everything was much less hectic as the springs unwound and the cogs and flywheels came to rest.

Order was imposed, systematically and with ever increasing efficiency on the very chaos that would had saved our race from the inevitable stagnation of conformity. The piper played a tune which resonated perfectly within us and we followed in a straight unbroken line down the narrow staircase to this place and it's promises of eternal, blissful rest in exchange for absolutely everything. But by then the tune was in our heads and it seemed such a small price to pay. We welcomed the chains' protection and the comforting embrace of oblivion as everything that moved and turned and pulsed and vibrated came to a perfect, orderly standstill.


                  Some of you may have figured
                  out that we're not home.
                  What the hell.
                  Mother's interrupted the course
                  of the voyage.
                  Mother is programmed to interrupt
                  the course of out voyage if
                  certain conditions arise.  They
                  We've received intermittent
                  transmission from quadrant points
                  QBR 157, 052.  Somebody's gone

                  So what.

                  We're obligated under Section B2...
                  Christ.  We're a commerical ship
                  not some rescue team.  This kind
                  of duty's not in our contract.

                  You better read your contract.
                  Transmissions received in non-
                  commercial lanes...

        Cramulus gives Parker and Brett a look.

                  Fuck it, lets go back to sleep.


(looks at his watch)
Oh, God, it's late. Hey, thanks for the beer.

Yeah, man.

I should find a hotel...



A hotel?


Just ask it, man.

What are you talking about?

Three pitchers of beer and you still can't ask.


You called me so you could have a place to stay.

Hey, no, no, no--

Yes you did. Just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask, man.

Wou--Would that be a problem?

Is it a problem for you to ask?

Can I stay at your place?



MORPHEUS Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.


MORPHEUS Hold out your hands.

In Cramulus' right hand, Morpheus drops a red pill.

MORPHEUS This is your last chance. After this, there is no going back.

In his left, a blue pill.

MORPHEUS: You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and you believe whatever you want to believe.

The pills in his open hands are reflected in the glasses.

MORPHEUS: You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

Cramulus feels the smooth skin of the capsules, with the moisture growing in his palms.

MORPHEUS: Remember that all I am offering is the truth. Nothing more.

Cramulus opens his mouth and swallows the blue pill.

Gay Porn:

Cramulus stared straight into the camera, rubbing his ballsack provocatively.

Techmology and Scientism / Re: Hologram Universe
« on: January 30, 2009, 10:37:06 am »
Sorry for derailing this thread--or should I say string?  I'll get it back on track.

So is this article suggesting that everything I do actually came from the edge of space-time 13.7 billion light years ago?  I remember Carl Sagan saying we're all made of star stuff.  But are we all just pixels on Goddess' computer screen?

Science has once again outdone religion for pure freakiness.

Science will always pwn religion on grounds of freakiness for the simple reason that science comes up with new shit all the time. Religion is stuck with the same old "guy with a beard waved a wand" story whereas science has now progressed to half living/half dead cats in boxes and pixels on the edge of the universe. Who knows how wierd it'll be next year but you can bet your ass religion will still be hawking the trite old beardie theorem

Bring and Brag / Re: The Honeymoon
« on: January 29, 2009, 07:04:09 pm »
it gets worse ...

Hello there mr barman
please provide me with a beer
I'm on my way back home tonight
and I need a cup of cheer
So pop the silver top off now
the glass you can forget
It aint the looks I'm after
I just need to know it's wet

I'll drink another bottle down
and I won't come up for air
she'll tell me how her morning went
and I'll pretend I care

Cos I can scarce remember now
what used to make her glow
and no one wants to say it first
but we both fucking know
And she's too fucking sensitive
and I'm too fucking old
to admit that what we had is gone
the passion has run cold

So I'll drink another bottle down
and have a little sing
I'll say "I love you" even if
it doesn't mean a thing

This home became a habit
as the decades whistled by
Somewhere to put our feet up
as we watched the romance die
The clock upon the mantelpiece
is slicing up my life
My youthful aspirations died
the day I met my wife

So I'll drink another bottle down
with whiskey on the side
Just to face the stagger back
home to my darling bride


Or Kill Me / Re: Short rant on CLIMATE CHANGE.
« on: January 28, 2009, 04:41:55 pm »
Here's why I hate environmentalists: They think that we (as the nearest thing to god on this mudball) have some obligation to keep things exactly the same, even though the 'natural' way of doing things is constant change. Continents drift, habitats evolve or die, species become extinct.

The environment is crap! There - I've one and said it. It's as bad as 'evolution'. Yup - another sacred cow, you line 'em up I'll knock 'em down. Evolution takes eight billion years (approx) to fix a minor design flaw, that's how useless it is. It's only impressive when one appreciates the scale of it but, make no mistake, the scale is the only impressive bit. When we came along it took a couple of hundred years to develop the 'wolf' model into designer pets and working animals of your choice. Couple of hundred year and we have high-yield boar modifications that produce ten times the meat in half the time.

We took evolution and we fucking fixed it! And it's high time we did the same to the environment. Lets face it the environment is the same bullshit, hit and miss cop-out that mother nature is famous for. It's too cold and rainy in scotland, the australian and african deserts are largely uninhabitable. The north pole is only any use as part of the whole fucking fiasco.  And the minute our genetically modified foodsource farts the whole thing falls apart? Fuck that shit. we need to replace the whole thing with something that suits our purposes.

The environment does not need conserved it needs wiped out and rebuilt. Properly this time.

Or Kill Me / Re: Greyface
« on: January 28, 2009, 11:21:22 am »
uh - who's off the air now? (or is this a metaphorical "guy off the air due to letters of complaint")

just wondering.

good rant, btw

Was a hypothetical situation but I was thinking of things like the recent Ross/Brand fiasco or Gerry Sadowitz before them or Lenny Bruce before him.

Pretty much anyone who's been on the receiving end of a handful of uppity bastards.

Except Bill Grundy - that wanker had it coming  :lulz:

Bring and Brag / Re: My head is empty
« on: January 20, 2009, 11:49:57 am »
I sit in my front porch
And I light a cigarette
I try to sing for you but
my head is empty of song.
My time for you is gone
So I can no longer instill
That hope, and the want
Into my voice or my cry
My former desire has gone
awry from what I used to long.

The well from which you
Used to spring has run dry,
Has become a wall of rocks, a
ring wherein nothing rises.
This circle which could be
A home is instead a tomb,
a litany of can-not-have, a
tome of imperfect endings.

I hate this word processor.
It turns my poetry into a
Study on perfect grammar.

You cling to the devil you
Think you have sold your
Soul to, and in the meantime
Leave your real soul to bend
And twist in the wind you
Made in your passing by.
Foolish, I wait for it to wake.

Loved this bit :mittens:

Literate Chaotic / Re: Cain on Icke
« on: January 19, 2009, 03:51:00 pm »
Is anything not a conspiracy according to Icke?

No, and anyone who would even appear to consider such a possibility is obviously in on it  :tinfoilhat:

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