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Topics - Cramulus

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Apple Talk / Forum History via Photobucket
« on: June 26, 2018, 03:20:34 pm »
In this thread, take a scroll through, grab a random photo, and tell us its role in this forum's storied history. This will help newcomers understand our intricate forum culture and prepare for the welcome they will receive after their 50th post.

I'll get us rolling:

The Bitch Slap cards were distributed in 2009 as a part of the ill fated "OP is a spag" initiative. The cards went like hotcakes, because people believed they would be entitled to slap someone else. In truth, the card gives people permission to slap its holder. I left my house on Monday, April 29th, and was slapped in the face nine times, by strangers, who read this forum for some reason.

This image was part of the HIMEOBS propaganda initiative. HIMEOBS was a cabal within the forum around 2006-2008, it is an acronym that stands for the Heralds of Important Men's Explanations Of Bull Shit. HIMEOBS was like the forums welcome-committee, it greeted new Filthy Forumites and answered their questions earnestly. They would sometimes mail newbies a gift of fresh fruit or hand picked flowers. The above caption represents a time that Ten Ton Mantis was bitten by a handsnake, and then we adopted it as the forum mascot and it fed candy it until it developed diabetes and violently exploded.

The inventor of Clippy was a member of this forum briefly in 2008. IIRC he was depressed because Clippy was not liked by the public, and frequently threatened to go "Ann Hero" (an old in-joke representing the heroic and noble sacrifices of a martyr named Ann). He shared this screenshot with the forum to ask us for advice. He was subsequently banned.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Recent Jailbreaks
« on: June 19, 2018, 01:47:30 pm »
Morning fellow inmates,

I spent all day yesterday in the cell, just rattling my tin cup against the bars. I immersed myself in the news and felt all the things I was supposed to feel. And now I've felt them, but I'm still stuck in this body with the feelings. Some of them are mine, but some of them are injected. So maybe I'm not a prisoner, maybe I'm an in-patient and they medicate me daily with information.

And by the way, the feelings that I think were mine---I chose to act on those feelings, to let them into my inner sanctum and motivate me. And that feels good, but I don't feel free yet...

Let's talk about our recent jailbreaks. If we share how we got out of the cell, maybe it'll help each other do the same.

One of my recent jailbreaks is money. I am really good at saving money. I'm actually kinda bad at spending it. I was taught at a young age that there's a payoff to putting off pleasure -- not buying candy today so you can afford a video game at the end of the month. I dutifully save for retirement and investment. But this also means that I don't enjoy things in the present, I'm always thinking about money and agonizing over spending it - after all, isn't something better coming? So any time I spend money, I feel guilty.

I currently have two vacations planned, and I've been living real thin (almost like a college student) so I can afford them. My girlfriend asked me, "what vacation do you want to go on AFTER THAT?" and I felt the anxiety well up and flood my inner world... I had to say it -- I want to take a break from scrimping and saving just so that I can enjoy something months down the road. I want to enjoy the present moment and stop focusing on something months away.

I am recognizing the need to draw a line and say "that's enough." --- and give myself permission to order the cheese fries instead of regular fries. I recognize this is a first world problem. But cash is a significant source of anxiety in my life, which is weird considering I'm responsible, employed, and stick to a budget.

have you escaped your cell recently?

if not --- why not?

Literate Chaotic / I'm on the Radio
« on: June 08, 2018, 02:25:55 pm »
Like 5 years ago, I posted in a Reddit thread "Tell us your best larp story" -- a radio producer dug up that post, e-mailed me, and asked me if I'd tell the story on her show. Months later, it finally aired!

This took place when I was 19, it involves a crazy road trip, murder, and .... I won't spoil the ending, but it was surreal :P

Apple Talk / Law & Order: Animal Unit
« on: April 09, 2018, 02:48:04 pm »
In the future, dolphins, elephants, and several primates with advanced cognitive capabilities will be classified as "non-human persons". This legal definition entitles them to rights above and beyond what most animals have, ideally to protect them against environmental destruction and inhumane treatment.

It also opens up those entities to lawsuits. Legal teams will be appointed to represent the interests of these species. This has the result of exposing environmentally destructive groups to lawsuits from dolphins and elephants.

This legal definition of some animals as "non-human persons" also creates a slippery slope. Which specific behaviors or biological features make one entitled to rights? After a long and complicated debate, the Supreme Court ruled that bee colonies do use "symbols" in their inter-bee communication dances, which constitutes language, which entitles them to personhood and therefore legal representation. Now bees have lawyers too. Bee lawyers take action against companies that produce bee-harming pesticides and agricultural practices harmful to bees. Among other things.

While some lawyers represent elephants and parrots (and other animals) pro-bono, this also ends up being a lucrative way to practice law. In order to fund these legal escapades, accounts are set up to receive donations from the public, resulting in some animals, (mainly "cute" ones) amassing large amounts of resources. PR campaigns promise that funds donated to animals will be spent on desirable causes. "Cats" and "Dogs", consequently, become powerful and highly litigious entities.

Due to climate change and other forms of environmental upset, animal territory and migration zones have shifted. This results in tension between wildlife populations - which are also pursued in court. One notable case involves a legal dispute between dolphins and hammerhead sharks - but things don't get really weird until animal-lawyers start forming publicly traded corporations. Eventually, cats and dogs, as collective legal entities, now control a significant portion of the economy.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Meaning
« on: March 20, 2018, 02:28:10 pm »
Is Meaning something that we create with our minds?

Or does it exist in the universe--external to our minds?

For years, I took the first position -- likely influenced by Camus et al. After all, a book or film can have many different "readings" and none of them may be "correct". The 'meaning' is subjective! So likely the universe is like that too, no?

Now I am experimenting with the second position.

Hofstadter, author of Godel Escher Bach, thinks that meaning is something we decode.  He'd point out that the 'meaning' of 1+1 isn't a human construct.

Hosfstadter asserts that meaning emerges from these isomorphic relationships between concepts. The notion that meaning is generated only by humans--something that exists only in brains--he called biological chauvinism. He thinks 'formal systems' generate meaning, and humans don't create it, they decode it.

what do you cats think?

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / In Praise of the Corpus Callosum
« on: February 26, 2018, 02:56:38 pm »
If you don't support the two party system, at least support the Corpus Callosum.

The Corpus Callosum is the wad of brain matter that connects the left and right hemisphere.

It is said that the mind works in an antagonistic way - one part of the mind asserts something, another part scans it for weakness and puts that forward. Through this push-pull** between left and right hemisphere, a good idea is developed.

**perhaps subsitute the word "romance" or "wedding"

This is the physical incarnation of the Hegelian dialectic (Thesis, Antithesis, Synthesus). It's Gurdjieff's Triamazikamno, the "third force" (The Holy Affirming, the Holy Denying, the Holy Unifying). All positions are incomplete until they have been tested and refined.

And if our culture is acting, right now, like two separate hemispheres that cannot communicate, it suggests some flaw in our collective Corpus Callosum.

What's going wrong with one hemisphere's signal that the other hemisphere can't process it? Our collective brain is not processing data well, the antagonism just seems to escalate instead of resolve, refine, and unify.

Is there a way to act as this piece of neural hardware within the greater brain? Can an individual help shephard the signals from left to right in a way that actually transmits information?

Literate Chaotic / Trinity
« on: January 24, 2018, 11:11:33 pm »
The ROBOT roams the land by night and day. The ROBOT processes without thinking. The ROBOT gets its head stuck in fuckin HOLE because it THOUGHT it could fit. The ROBOT canít escape because it STILL DOES.

But, by the light of the moon, the ROBOT changes! Like a werewolf! Like a MANIAC WEREWOLF! Heeeeereís JohnnyĖthe robot life was just a dream!

And if itís lucky, the werewolf changes too, into the NAKED HUMAN. Running, sprinting, dancing! Holy fuck I am naked, hiding!

The whispering bush whispers quietly in a tiny whisper GODDESS,

it was easy to be a robot. GODDESS,

it was intense to be a werewolf. GODDESS

before I change back to my normal selves, let me hang out here a moment longer

Apple Talk / Ben Mack
« on: January 20, 2018, 01:31:47 pm »
Ben MackBen Mack Ben Mack. Ben "Ben Mack author of Poker without Cards Mack" Mack

Ben Mack
Ben Mack


Apple Talk / Chao Te Markov
« on: December 18, 2017, 10:06:46 pm »
A friend just let me know that the Chao Te Ching is out there having all the fun on its own -- it looks like some spag wrote a markov bot that spits out new Chao Te Ching lines

Apple Talk / people still post on forums, technically
« on: September 11, 2017, 10:45:26 pm »

P.S. your father killed a bunch of children with it, have fun

Bring and Brag / Deliver Me From Cool
« on: September 05, 2017, 04:26:00 pm »

Deliver me from Cool, from Cred, from Consensus

Deliver me from Slang, from Trends, from Hipness

Deliver me from the app everybody is using

Deliver me from the transcendental festival experience

Deliver me from New York--that shining city on the hill where dreams come true in movies

Deliver me from that thing on netflix thatís SO GOOD, you HAVE to watch it, itís AMAZING

Deliver me from Brooklyn, the beating heart of young and hot

Delver me from whatís going on this weekend, the primal chase of fox and hound

Deliver me from the dash, the feed, the stream

Deliver me from The Scene, from speaking in tongues, from stigmata

Deliver me from alchemical youth

Deliver me from the eroding fertile mud of the ravenous riverbank, that Jordan where we dredge up and baptize

Deliver me from grave robbing sepia-junkies and the Frankenstein monsters they build from childhood like block busting golems

From the magnetic congregation and the holy grail which connects cool and earth, please liberate me

From the tyrants and priests of power, please liberate me

For my profane alien heart, please liberate me

PD.COM: We're a self service death cult. Spike your own f'kin Koolaid.

Fuck it. I'm starting a death cult

If anybody wants in, let me know. We're gonna off ourselves at the same time on a Monday. Why Monday? So we can get in a good weekend before the finale. 

The only rule is that you have to kill yourself in a way that nobody's ever heard of. When people find our bodies, it'll really make their day.

So here's how I'm gonna go ---

I'm gonna glue living field mice all over my naked body, and then lay down in a room full of hungry eagles.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Biblical Series with Jordan B Peterson
« on: August 15, 2017, 07:55:19 pm »
Biblical Series I: Introduction to the Idea of God

This a lecture series we've been batting around in #discord over the last day or two. It's not a straight info-dump so much as Peterson trying to work through some of his ideas in a public forum. So it rambles and digresses and circles around what he's aiming to say.

I'm not familiar with J. Peterson at all - I understand that he's a controversial figure in some circles, and there are a couple of places in this lecture where I want to throw fruit at him. But for the most part, I really enjoyed this lecture. Anybody who can quote the bible and homer simpson and give both some weight is a good orator.

Here are a few of the topics from this lecture:
  • Why Nietzsche was right about Christianity destroying itself
  • The unconscious (in the Freudian sense - the stuff we carry inside of us which has a big impact on our behavior despite us not being aware of it) and how it's the space where myths take place
  • the origin of philosophical or moral ideals and how they move from concrete behaviors to symbolic abstractions
  • The underlying psychological forces which inform biblical mythology, law, and concepts like sovereignty..
  • and how those forces may also be what the ancient Greeks and Israelites meant by "God"

I thought you cats might dig some of this stuff - at the very least, it's thought provoking

Apple Talk / Fucking Photobucket
« on: July 14, 2017, 06:22:11 pm »
Look at my goddamn signature, what the fuck

this means ALL the wompcabal images in the PD archive are now broken.

Literate Chaotic / Our Discordia
« on: April 19, 2017, 04:08:37 pm »
In many ways, Religion is kinda stupid, right?

but instead of leaning away from it

letís dive in

head first

Letís exercise our right to be wrong

Letís juice the religious experience for everything itís got.

Because IF beliefs are sacred, even the stupid ones,

BOOM, a bunch of really stupid shit is now sacred.

A lot of atheists come into Discordianism because itís this great joke on religion.

And then

when you feel where this headspace is,

you can see thereís something else


and you donít need to go to church for it,

you donít even need to really believe in a god to tap into it,

 itís this chaos inside

which can become anything

and listenĖif there are things in this universe

that are irrational

then our rational minds deceive us

into thinking that whole Enlightenment routine

can bust down any wall

but hey, you try reasoning with the clouds

Iím sure theyíll come around.


some stuff in this world is sacred

and I donít know what sacred means except

    a connection between

     heaven and earth,

       the conceptual and the material,

          the body and the spirit

and some stupid shit is sacred now


finally the bibles are molding on the shelves

finally the traditions have worn out

finally the parade is over

finally god is off the pedestal

finally we are in the driverís seat

finally a roach will save me

finally, flying baby shit

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