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Messages - Richter

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For what my opinion is worth here - being able to deal complete sociopathy onto those who will never return the social contract with you is a survival skill.  Like dad told us as they took down the Berlin Wall - "It's all tribes now."

I have a day off.  Time to change oil and get Alan Moore banished from my hair before it grows into a horrible child-eating shoggoth.

Richard Nixon Presents: Alaska / Re: Spagbook
« on: July 02, 2014, 12:12:33 am »
It's uncanny in person.  Cram's costume-fu is best, I'd never get past the weird double-lip sensation. 

I bought a 1lb bag of Death Wish Coffee for Pennsic, and it came in yesterday. Naturally, I had to give it a test brew this morning. So far, the flavor is fantastic. It's bold and smooth. Not overly bitter or tannic like one would expect from a "strong" coffee, flavor wise.

...However. I'm half way through the cup and I'm getting the giggles.

Well that was anticlimactic. I expected the jitters and the ability to taste colors. Come to find out I was just giggling because an ant was crawling across my foot.

I blame Richter for this. His sharpened roast back in the Boston Daze must have made me immune.

That coffee got me through my looney bin job.  It was a replacement for nutrition, sleep, and sanity.

Let me see if I can scare up another cheap espresso machine - we'll put that stuff through it.

My boss is sitting in the room outside of my office while the office building is being torn out.  We have 20 minutes to kill before the meeting, so he is watching company update videos.

No, really.  He's actually watching them.  I always wondered who those motivational posters on the wall were actually provided for, and now I know.

this is how I imagine your corp. update videos:

They could be talking about a gun wiht tits and lightning and it would still sound banal

Richard Nixon Presents: Alaska / Re: Spagbook
« on: July 01, 2014, 09:51:09 am »
Your Holy Man™ has been shown less than ideal veneration by others.  But would you check out my tits?  Hot damn!

AaaaaaaaaaaaH :lulz:

I would like to point out that, in order to solve at least one of my problems, a blow torch and colored sand would be a lovely, creative place to begin.

Upping the ante on melted wax.  You've been hanging around with mad scientists, military vets, and bloody minded reenactors, havent you?

Hold the fucking phone.

You made transparent aluminum obsolete, before I even got to play with any??

It turns out that it's fairly useless, when you can just make synthetic sapphire in any shape and size you want.

Space ships built with synthetic sapphire . . .

General Products hulls.  Bounce them off any BDO and you might break the radio antenna.

Richard Nixon Presents: Alaska / Re: Okay, so Richter and I...
« on: June 10, 2014, 01:03:19 pm »
I was even screening my compilation of oncologists responding to baskets of polyploid fruit.


Richard Nixon Presents: Alaska / Re: RICHTER SAUCE!
« on: June 05, 2014, 01:10:18 am »
I wonder what would happen if I butt-chugged Richter Sauce?

suu is on a roll today.

Butt chugging Richter Sauce is a klismaphiliac lie.  After the first few seconds you can only pour more on the gapping chemical burn.

Richard Nixon Presents: Alaska / Re: RICHTER SAUCE!
« on: June 04, 2014, 11:10:51 pm »
I wonder what would happen if I butt-chugged Richter Sauce?

Keep that bung pointed west comrade.

SO have they replaced the bag you haven't lsot yet?  With those PERSONAL items?  I'd be making these people a list...

No, that would ruin it.

It's better in this weird, nebulous state.  If I say what's in the bag, I might fuck it all up.

So the airline is in a state of quantum entanglement over your sack

So...  Notification has finally arrived.  I am still gainfully employed, through the end of July.  During the next 60 days, it is my job to attempt to transfer the payroll of 62 locations to Dallas.  They're apparently planning to do this in three waves.  Rather than using our homebrewed, actually reasonably functional (for a cobbled-together excuse for a timeclock system) automated system (which, when people, particularly managers, actually do their goddamn jobs on schedule, doesn't give me ulcers), they're apparently changing all of our stores to THEIR system.  Said system is, apparently, the manger sits down at the end of the week with his employees and asks, "okay, what did you do this week?"

I figure the managers are going to be bailing at a truly amazing rate.

When their payroll department realizes that the employee report sent over two weeks ago, while valid at the time, now has very little relationship to reality, I figure somebody is going out a window.  (The auto repair industry has what I consider a stunning amount of turnover.  Guys come, work for a month or two, and move on.  And we're not even going to get into the volume of child support orders I handle on a weekly basis.  Not just 'how many orders a week,' but "what, ANOTHER order for this guy?  Doesn't he know how to keep his damn pants zipped?"

Anyway...  I get the joy of transferring confidential records from here to Dallas, in some obscure order decided by somebody who knows shit about doing payrolls.  Then they let me go, right before my scheduled vacation.

My big plan involves calling my old temp agency, telling them when I'm available for interviews and to begin work, and see what happens.

I should be stressed.  I should be freaking out.  I'm not, and I have no idea why.

"After a few hurricanes you know when to panic, and when to relax and find a drink." - Ars Richterra, chapter 4

SO have they replaced the bag you haven't lsot yet?  With those PERSONAL items?  I'd be making these people a list...

I could politely skirt the implication - but here goes - No one since Zeus has had so vivid a tale of birthing a god into this world.  What ever became of this Fecal Athena?  Did is disappear into the pipes with a howling cackle?  Did it levitate of it's own ill-begotten vileness and hum off into the night to spread malediction, the smaller tagnut postules cirling it like bab-elemental ioun stones?  Or did it just lay there?  Content to let men build nestled chapels around it, like the Dome of the Rock?

I need to know - mostly because sending folks to it as a later-day miracle amuses me.

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