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Topics - Cainad (dec.)

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Apple Talk / Hey, YOU!
« on: May 03, 2013, 03:45:18 am »
What in the name of "Bob's" salty orifices do you think you're doing?

You think this is a joke or something?

Cut that shit out. You'll get us all in trouble.

Apple Talk / Hey Nigel, you're taking a Statistics class too, right?
« on: April 22, 2013, 07:57:15 pm »
Assume the standard deviation is 12 fucks given, and I want a 95% confidence interval with E = 4,

then how many FUCKING TIMES, on average, do I need to answer the same goddamn question on the online homework system? :crankey:

Apple Talk / Thing Listen To: Welcome to Night Vale
« on: April 12, 2013, 06:09:43 pm »

Twice-monthly community updates for the small desert town of Night Vale, featuring local weather, news, announcements from the Sheriff's Secret Police, mysterious lights in the night sky, dark hooded figures with unknowable powers, and cultural events. Turn on your radio and hide. Welcome to Night Vale.

First episode is at the bottom of the list. Please to enjoy.

Discordian Recipes / Pot Roast
« on: December 23, 2012, 05:07:52 pm »

I can't say that I know enough about making pot roast to speak to the culinary correctness of this article, but the recipe is written in proper PeeDee Recipe format:

Somewhere along the way, it got common to treat Christmas dinner like Thanksgiving II: This Time Without Turkey—like a big showpiece meal for which amateur cooks are meant to serve up some impressive exotic culinary masterpiece far outside the bounds of their humble repertoire of comfort foods. Take a walk through the butcher section of your local supermarket during the week before the holiday, and you can see the evidence of this phenomenon: geese, ducks, whole beef tenderloins, sea scallops the size of your fist, 15-pound prime rib roasts, entire goddamn wild Alaskan halibuts with their friggin' heads sawed off—all of this where there used to be Jumbo Family Packs of ground chuck, chicken thighs, and meatloaf mix.

Fuck all that. It's a busy goddamn day, what with visiting relations and opening gifts and getting transported to an alternate dimension in which you followed your dreams or whatever; if your idea of a swell way to wind it down is to spend the evening in white-knuckle terror over the fate of your $300 prime rib, that's your business, but I'll be over here with the sane people, being sane, eating pot roast, and doing other sane things you wouldn't understand. (Prolly scratch myself some, too.)

And so on.

Apple Talk / A glimmer of hope
« on: December 22, 2012, 08:47:31 pm »

New Orleans schools ban creationist curriculum, shun Texas revisionist textbooks
Robert T. Gonzalez

Sanity wins this round — at least for six schools in New Orleans. By a unanimous vote, N.O.'s Orleans Parish School Board voted on Tuesday to keep creationism out of its classrooms. Hallelujah.

"No teacher of any discipline of science shall teach any aspect of religious faith as science or in a science class," reads a measure released by the School Board earlier this week. "No teacher of any discipline of science shall teach creationism or intelligent design in classes designated as science classes."

The new policy also takes a deliberate stand against Texas's conservative revisionist curricula:

    No history textbook shall be approved which has been adjusted in accordance with the state of Texas revisionist guidelines nor shall any science textbook be approved which presents creationism or intelligent design as science or scientific theories.

"The conservative elements in the state have gotten stronger and stronger and more and more religious and farther to the right. I think it behooves us to take these steps to protect our kids' educational futures," said School Board Presdient Thomas Robichaux.

"To teach anything but scientific theory in a science class is just wrong for our kids. The Louisiana Science Education Act [enacted in 2008, the law has been described as "anti-science" by a veritable truck load of scientific organizations, and is responsible for shit like this being taught in science classes] is a direct attack on our children's future and this is a direct defense to that."

It's like Bill Nye says: creationism is not appropriate for children.

(Okay, the title of this thread is an atrocious sentence; bad example)

Stranded prepositions are nothing to fret about

There are numerous myths relating to grammatical dos and don’ts, many of which were drummed into us at school. The one that stubbornly refuses to budge from my mind is the diktat ‘never begin a sentence with a conjunction such as and or but’. And why not, pray?*

Some of these groundless rules (termed ‘fetishes’ by Henry Fowler in 1926) have a long history. Back in the 17th and 18th centuries, some notable writers (aka Latin-obsessed 17th century introverts) tried to make English grammar conform to that of Latin – hence the veto on split infinitives and also the ruling against the ending of a sentence with a preposition (also called stranding or deferring a preposition).

These and other language myths are amazingly persistent, though, so who you gonna call? Oxford’s Myth Debunkers, of course! To kick off this occasional series, let’s try to zap the one about stranded prepositions and lay it to rest once and for all.

Basically, this "rule" about prepositions was invented by a bunch of twerps who were more interested in fighting over who had the biggest Latin-penis than in effective communication.

RPG Ghetto / Numenera (New tabletop RPG from Monte Cook)
« on: December 07, 2012, 06:41:15 pm »

So Monte decided to produce something that doesn't use d20 core rules (still uses a 20-sided die, though). This resulted in an explosively successful Kickstarter: $517,000 of $20,000 goal.

Numenera is a science fantasy roleplaying game set in the far distant future. Humanity lives amid the remnants of eight great civilizations that have risen and fallen on Earth. These are the people of the Ninth World. This new world is filled with remnants of all the former worlds: bits of nanotechnology, the dataweb threaded among still-orbiting satellites,  bio-engineered creatures, and myriad strange and wondrous devices. These remnants have become known as the numenera.

Player characters explore this world of mystery and danger to find these leftover artifacts of the past, not to dwell upon the old ways, but to help forge their new destinies, utilizing the so-called “magic” of the past to create a promising future.

I'm excited. I just need to find me some other tabletop players that are available, since all my friends have moved away.

Apple Talk / Art Is A Flaccid Penis (nsfw)
« on: December 07, 2012, 05:14:09 pm » (link Not Safe For Work, obviously)

In order to find out if video games can qualify as art, we must understand what art is. Jimmy Brindle answers that question once and for all.

Apple Talk / Just in case anyone forgot...
« on: March 29, 2012, 06:04:52 am »
Forum archeology can sometimes be the best thing EVER.

I found this little gem while delving old forgotten crypts within the bowels of

Apple Talk / Political, but more suited for Apple Talk...
« on: March 23, 2012, 04:25:17 pm »
Birthers want proof that Mitt Romney was born in America

It's only a soundbite news article, and the whole incident is no doubt a blip in the radar, but I got a chuckle.

another link:

Apple Talk / Or Kill Me, eh, Dok?
« on: March 23, 2012, 04:15:49 am »
I've done far worse than kill you.

I've bored you. And I wish to go on, boring you.

I shall leave you as you left me: marooned for all eternity, in the center of a dead forum.

Bored out of your mind.

« on: January 13, 2012, 05:26:58 am »

I don't have anything to say here, except to click and watch this video OR YOU COULD DIE.

Apple Talk / I'm extremely disappointed in your recent behavior
« on: January 09, 2012, 04:11:14 am »
But really, I'm just too tired right now to be angry. So here's your chance.

What's your excuse?

RPG Ghetto / A Word on Dungeon Masters and Their Beloved Creations
« on: March 13, 2011, 08:43:18 pm »
Some DMs put a great deal of effort into crafting a large, detailed, and intricate world that their players will adventure in. In and of itself, this is not a bad thing. Indeed, there are many ways in which this can be seen as a very good thing, as it adds a great deal of depth to the experience of roleplaying a hero in a fantasy world. Busting down the evil lich's door and beating the shit out of his minions and stealing all his cool stuff can mean a lot more to some players if they're doing it for a reason beyond "get the XP and loot everything."

That said, your vast and epic setting doesn't mean JACK FUCKING SQUAT if no one wants to play in it.

You can have the biggest, most decked-out sandbox in the world, but it's gonna be one lonely sandbox if you don't remember that your players are supposed to be the most important group of four, five, or six assholes ever to stomp around in it.

It doesn't matter if that is completely unrealistic, or if your players are technically working at the behest of much more powerful people than them. Your players are THE most central thing to your setting, and not one nanosecond of the hours of brainpower you've put into crafting this setting and all of its grand cosmic machinations will ever mean more than a dried-out dog turd to anyone if you didn't craft it with the express purpose of being a place where a group of adventuring dorks can have a grand old time fucking it up and leaving their mark on it.

If your players are storming an Archmage's tower to recover an artifact for some other, more benevolent Archmage so that the good Archmage can keep vast and terrifying beings of cosmic horror beyond mortal comprehension from piercing the thin barriers between the Material Plane and the maddening Far Realm beyond, that's grand.

However, your players will NOT care or be even slightly happy about it if their role in this world-saving drama is to putz around for six hours doing jackshit while the rogue slowly and laboriously picks his way through the various locked doors and the ONE combat encounter that happens during the first three hours is completely piss-weak and lasts three rounds.

If you didn't want to write up a fun, well-balanced encounter where the Rogue, the Fighters, the Wizard, and the Ranger all have plenty to contribute, because you wasted all your time and energy on thinking up the "big picture" aspects of your beloved setting, then maybe you should fuck off with trying to be a Dungeon Master. Write up your campaign setting and put it online or try to publish it (LOL), so that some DM out there who actually gives a shit about entertaining his or her players and wants a convenient backdrop for their adventures can make use of it.

Or just write up the whole thing as D&D fan-fiction and post it on LiveJournal for all to ignore.

Just stop torturing your players. There's a goddamn reason none of them are making it easy to pull a group together anymore.

Apple Talk / ATTN: Spagwads who liked the Disturbed Mailing List
« on: October 28, 2010, 02:51:12 am »
There's a new thing I want to try being brainstormed in GASM Command (in Operation Mindfuck). Go here, you bastards:

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