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Messages - Cainad (dec.)

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4666
Or Kill Me / Re: We should all treat others inhumanely
« on: December 19, 2008, 06:44:34 am »
Sounds like Mark Twain's "The Mysterious Stranger"

The angel (named Satan, of course) points out that humans, since they have the Moral Sense, are the lowest and most monstrous of all living things. It's bad enough that we know much of what we do is wrong, and it's worse when we do it willfully. Thus, Satan gets annoyed when someone refers to another person's behavior as "brutish," since that is an insult to the brutes (animals).

4667
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Intermittens #5
« on: December 19, 2008, 05:40:14 am »
Thanks :D

I'm having a blast writing these.


Dear Mr. or Ms. Intermittens Editor:

Don't do that ever again. We have a lawyer who is pretty sure he can nail
a precedent-setting case against you for 'that issue.' Consider this a warning.

Sincerely,
Dr. Amir Buladowitz, M.D. and Mrs. Leslie Buladowitz


Alright, enough threadjack :lulz:

4668
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Intermittens #5
« on: December 19, 2008, 03:54:50 am »
Yeah, but only in the vaguest of vague ways.


Dear editor,

The occult practices described on page 5 of Intermittens #4 were... innovative to say
the least. Let's just say I agree with the decision to pull the issue and I have dutifully
burned my copy and flushed the ashes.

-Al Crow



Oy, editor!

I don't care who you think you are; you don't know jack shit about cooking, or about
human sexuality! Issue #4 was an utter load of crap and I think you should let it be
republished just so people can see how full of baloney you losers are.

Yours untruly,
Disillusioned Reader



Dear Intermittens Staff:

As a student of both English and Arabic literature, I found Intermittens #4 to be not
merely offensive, but downright obscene. My friends who study Philosophy likewise were
perplexed and dismayed with the content in said issue. Please refrain from publishing
such offal in the future.

Thank you,
Steven



Dear editor

The insights expressed in issue #4 have changed my life drastically. I never knew that
the works of Chaucer could be interpreted that way, and needless to say I was not at
all prepared for what came next. Looking back, perhaps I ought never to have opened
that infamous issue, but there's no changing the past. At least now there's never a dull
moment in my life, ha ha!

HA HA HA!
Hahahaha Heehehehe...

4669
Suggestions, even cultural ones, that scientists are somehow more moral and more humane than most people seems to play into some sort of naive secularism which replaces the priesthood as a model of conduct with the scientific community, and perhaps encourages more faith in the decency of scientists (as a group) than they deserve.
Can you give me an example of any time this has happened outside of really bad science fiction? I keep hearing stories about scientists acting like gods and wanting to be worshipped but I've never seen it happen in real life. Sure, I've seen several philosophers of science put forth moral systems but they are conscious of the Is-Ought Problem and don't tell people "Convert or die!" unlike some certain groups. 

It's not the scientists that want to be worshipped, its the general populace that choose the scientists to worship. And if you have worshippers all it takes to cause trouble is one asshole priest/scientist. (that would be an interesting dualclass)
:lulz: No offense, but I can tell that you're not an American.  Scientists aren't worshipped here.  They are liberal elitist/socialist pigs that live in an ivory tower and hate Baby Jebus.  We worship mediocrity here instead. Intelligence is a liability.

And of course deeming one person (whether it be priest, scientist, or plumber) with complete infalliability is a horrible idea.  We can all agree on that one.

So the obvious solution is to deem everyone infallible. Easy.

4670
Bring and Brag / Re: Sacred Chao antics.
« on: December 19, 2008, 02:40:38 am »
how about applying a vertically ridged bumpmap to the cloth? to make it sort of corduroy-looking?



:mittens:

I like this one a lot.

4671
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Intermittens #5
« on: December 19, 2008, 02:11:20 am »
Ok let me get this straight.

while we are trying to get people to think they do not have a complete collection the issue numbering policy is going to made so that people can track all the issues easier?


Yeah.

4672
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Intermittens #5
« on: December 19, 2008, 01:31:40 am »
In a future issue (like maybe 6 or 7), a message from the editor:


Dear Readers,

Unfortunately, we cannot fulfill requests for copies of the infamous Intermittens #4.
To do so would create a strong case for government-enforced internet censorship, which
is not something we, the Intermittens staff, want to see. The issue was pulled after
overwhelming negative criticism, and some positive criticism from people we'd rather
not receive praise from. Please, stop asking us to re-release it. It's better to forget.

4673
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Intermittens #5
« on: December 18, 2008, 11:08:16 pm »
I like both ideas actually.  Can they be combined?

color me bland, but I'd prefer the issues to be numbered sequentially. It will be much less confusing down the line, especially when we have over 10 issues. Is it really much of a mindfuck to confuse ourselves by having randomly numbered issues or a bunch of issue 5s? Keep it Simple!

For the most part I agree, however:

Would it be amusing to skip an issue and yet pretend it actually existed?  We could make fake letters to the editor complaining about how offensive the issue was, etc.

This idea amuses me greatly. A "letters to the editor" section filled with damning criticisms of how horrible the (nonexistent) issue #4 was could be pretty funny.


Dear Editor,

While I was generally pleased with the content of Intermittens issues 1 through 3,
I'm afraid that issue number 4 was a shameful stain on this publication's young
reputation. Neither I nor any of my friends are easily offended, as we are all
fun-loving people, but the "humor" in that issue was simply atrocious and should
not have been made public. I don't know what other sick ideas you people have in
those twisted minds of yours, but please, keep them to yourselves and let's have
Intermittens be a generally enjoyable and thought-provoking magazine once again.

Sincerely,
Robert W.




Yo, magazine people!

All I have to say is: what the hell is WRONG with you?! I mean, I liked your
magazine up until now, but damn... At the very least, I think future issues
could do without any more content like that on page 6 of issue #4.

-Jerry




Dear editor,

Wow! Intermittens #4 was the best one yet! I got kicked out of class when I
burst out laughing at the centerfold (genius, by the way!) and my math teacher
saw it, but I still think it's great. More issues like that one, please!

-Alice D.




ATTN EDITOR

YOU ARE GOING TO HELL.

-An0nymous4Chr1st

4674
Or Kill Me / Re: One Sentence Rants
« on: December 18, 2008, 03:31:57 pm »
If you try to strike a meme down, it will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

4675
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Cram's Game Corner
« on: December 18, 2008, 04:38:45 am »
Same here.

4676
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Cram's Game Corner
« on: December 18, 2008, 04:27:13 am »
4 out of 5 here. I can't figure out what I haven't done already.

The only thing I haven't tried was drowning the kid.

edit: I tried drowning the kid, it didn't change the ending. Huh.


I can't get the last ending either :(

4677
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Cram's Game Corner
« on: December 18, 2008, 04:02:55 am »
Level 1 Barbarian :lulz:

4678
Or Kill Me / Re: One Sentence Rants
« on: December 17, 2008, 09:14:06 pm »
Fuck.

4679
Principia Discussion / Re: Subject
« on: December 17, 2008, 08:00:46 pm »
poorly articulated sarcasm

4680
Principia Discussion / Re: Subject
« on: December 17, 2008, 07:58:14 pm »
Quote
quoted post from much earlier in thread

now-irrelevant comment

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