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Messages - Cainad (dec.)

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4666
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Early meditations on Mind
« on: November 14, 2008, 08:37:26 pm »
Official Discordian non-flowering plant: Venus flytrap

Actually the venus flytrap, like most other carnivorous plants, is an angiosperm.


You come up with something then, smarty pants. I hope you enjoy your new compulsory appointment as head of the Department of Agriculture.

4667
RPG Ghetto / Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« on: November 14, 2008, 08:26:37 pm »
Its immunity is supposedly granted by its carapace, though. Would that apply from inside the Tarrasque?

oooh good call

the lich is pretty much immune to the acid (acid resist 20)
and the crushing will only do about 16 damage per round

so the lich is better positioned in tarrasque's stomach than he is invisible and flying.  :lulz:


Now I remember why I loved the game so much. :lol:

Quote
"Toolbox" is not adequate, this thread requires a whole new order of nomenclature :argh!:

"Dire Toolbox"

+5

4668
Again I say, I do not know what has become of Robert Anton Wilson, though I think--almost hope--that he is in peaceful oblivion, if there be anywhere so blessed a thing. It is true that I have for five years been his closest friend, and a partial sharer of his terrible researches into the unknown. I will not deny, though my memory is uncertain and indistinct, that this witness of yours may have seen us together as he says, on the Gainsville pike, walking toward Big Cypress Swamp, at half past 11 on that awful night. That we bore electric lanterns, spades, and a curious coil of wire with attached instruments, I will even affirm; for these things all played a part in the single hideous scene which remains burned into my shaken recollection. But of what followed, and of the reason I was found alone and dazed on the edge of the swamp next morning, I must insist that I know nothing save what I have told you over and over again. You say to me that there is nothing in the swamp or near it which could form the setting of that frightful episode. I reply that I knew nothing beyond what I saw. Vision or nightmare it may have been--vision or nightmare I fervently hope it was--yet it is all that my mind retains of what took place in those shocking hours after we left the sight of men. And why Robert Anton Wilson did not return, he or his shade--or some nameless thing I cannot describe-- alone can tell.

4669
RPG Ghetto / Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« on: November 14, 2008, 07:56:10 pm »
and I think you're right about illusions being the way to slay the thing. The Tarrasque's will save is only +20. But remember, you've gotta neg ten it AND wish it dead in the same round, or it's gonna get back up in six seconds.

If I were the demilich, here's how I would do it:

*Go invisible. Fly above big T's head.
*If fighting in close quarters, allow yourself to be swallowed whole - being in the tarrasque's stomach is safer than facing its full attack, and the lich can stillcast while grappled anyway.
*Use a quickened phantasmal-killer spell - you have to be quick, because you need the standard action to cast wish and finish the thing.

The Tarrasque gets three rolls to resist the PK: spell resist, will save, fortitude save. If he fails all three, he will die of fear (but still be regenerating) and the lich will wish him dead.

If the lich can't get off the wish spell, he'll have to find a way to do 40 damage AND cast a wish in the same round. Which I think might be impossible given the tarrasque's immunities to rays, cones, fire, poison, disease, energy drain, etc etc etc

Its immunity is supposedly granted by its carapace, though. Would that apply from inside the Tarrasque?

4670
Literate Chaotic / Re: Insightful Post Dump
« on: November 14, 2008, 07:51:12 pm »
Quote from: Enrico Ritzibottom Salazar
As Enrico stepped off tuna boat onto fine soil of this country he was immediately molested by a strange man in a rumpled suit with crazed eyes.  Normally this would not bother Enrico at all, on the contrary, he advertises for it . . . but this man wasn't interested in Enrico's crotch at all, he was only interested in talking religion and philosophy.  He asked Enrico, "Do you believe there is such thing as a true religion?"

Enrico snorted and replied "Isn't pornography the religion in this country?"

He told Enrico that it was not, which saddened Enrico for a few moments, it was after all why Enrico had come to this country in the first place.  Immediately his visions of becoming a pope of porn melted away . . . he would have to find other ways to get people to accept his 'host', he relized.  He was only sad for a moment, of course, because Enrico rarely has to do much persuading, being the virile testicle squid he is.

The man pulled a medalion from under his shirt and waved it before Enrico's eyes.  Enrico, in turn pulled seventeen medalions from under his shirt and waved them around too, thinking 'what strange customs these beautiful faggots have', but was distracted from his inner monologue by the man saying "This is called the Sacred Cow."

"Sacred Cow?"  Enrico asked, then added:  "In Enrico's homeland that is Beatrice Arthur."

"No no," the man said.  "Cow!  See Ayche Aye Oh.  Cow.  It is the singular version of Chaos."

"Chaos."  repeated Enrico.

"Yes,"  the man said.  "Chaos is the natural state of the universe.  Aspects of chaos are order and disorder.  Both are natural, so do not shun the disorder as false, it is true."

"You speak bullshit," Enrico laughed.  "Enrico likes that."

"This is not bullshit.  This is truth that will set you free."

"No."  said Enrico.  "Is bullshit.  But, bullshit is important."

The man's eyes widened in amazement.  "Bullshit?  Important?  Why?"

Enrico was surprised that the concept of Bull hadn't been taught to this man.  What else was going to be different in this country?

"Bullshit is very important."  Enrico told the man.  "Bullshit should be spread far and wide.  Always spread bullshit wherever you go."

"Why?"  asked the man.

"Is simple.  If you speak to someone and tell them truth you have made them think nothing, is true?"

"No, they think about what you said."

"How many peoples do you know?"  Enrico asked.  "Most peoples, they are not completely right in the head.  Most peoples accept your information like a baby goat accepts your root.  If you give them bullshit, though, the person will later find out about it, become angry, but then they will need to go look up the information themselves.  They will need to use their own head gravy, instead of relying on other peoples to do their thinking for them . . . in this way bullshit is very very important.  So spread bullshit everywhere, my fine friendly faggot."

Enrico was about to leave when the man called out to him "But what if they never find out that the information is bullshit?"

Enrico turned back to the man.  He shrugged.  "Fuck em.  If they are that stupid they deserve to stay that way."

And that is how Enrico taught the silly Discordian about the Sacred Bull.

4671
Principia Discussion / Re: Dumb question about SSOOKN...
« on: November 14, 2008, 07:42:56 pm »
 8)

4672
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Early meditations on Mind
« on: November 14, 2008, 07:37:37 pm »
Official Discordian flower: Titan arum, one of the famous "carrion flowers."

Official Discordian non-flowering plant: Venus flytrap

Official Discordian non-placental mammal: Echidna and/or platypus

Official Discordian song: Beethoven's Symphony No. 5 in C minor

4673
Principia Discussion / Re: Dumb question about SSOOKN...
« on: November 14, 2008, 06:53:44 pm »
Oh.. I didnt' realize that was a link. Now I'm afraid to click it.

It's actually quite safe. No, really. Why don't you believe me? :x

4674
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Early meditations on Mind
« on: November 14, 2008, 06:41:11 pm »
Crows are super-smart, for sure. Also, incredibly strange. Every time I've been pregnant the local crows have been fascinated with me (maybe they do this with all pregnant women? and there was a large family of crows that lived near my last home that was OBSESSED with my oldest daughter. They would congregate around the house and if we went to the store several would go with us, and be waiting outside the store to follow us home again. If we were in the back yard they would come around back to watch us. They were pretty cool, really, but it creeped out some of my friends. Then we moved, and the new crows seem to like us (especially after I had another baby) but not like those other ones did.

A few years ago a crow decided it couldn't stand my friend Pete, and would dive-bomb and harass her every time she left the house. He'd follow her for BLOCKS on foot, trying to drop stuff on her head, and would throw things at her car as well. He kept it up for months.

The crow is now the official Discordian bird.

4676
Or Kill Me / Re: Allow Me To Be Perfectly Frank...
« on: November 14, 2008, 06:14:10 pm »
Actually badgers lodging in your subconscious is widely believed to be AN OMEN OF DOOM!!!

... just sayin

Well, that's me fucked then.

                               I'm ending it before what the badger said comes true.
                               So long, guys...
                                           \

4677
Hey guys, I proved I have a soul with quantum mechanics!
Hey guys, I proved I DON'T have a soul with quantum mechanics!

As long as you don't engage in any actual observations for verification, both these statements are simultaneously true and false.

No, really. You both have and don't have an immortal soul, thanks to quantum mechanics.

Aw, you let the cat out of the bag with that revelation, Cainad.  :)

Get it? We were talking about quantum mechanics, and I referenced a cat, which is sort of a nod to Schrodinger . . .

Yeah, I'll shut up now.

Rat already did it. However, you should know for future reference that when you leave a joke un-examined, it is simultaneously funny and unfunny. If you examine it, however, the Humor Police will teargas your house and say very rude things to you, thus making it appear as if you are weeping like a little sissy at their insults.

4678
Hey guys, I proved I have a soul with quantum mechanics!
Hey guys, I proved I DON'T have a soul with quantum mechanics!

As long as you don't engage in any actual observations for verification, both these statements are simultaneously true and false.

No, really. You both have and don't have an immortal soul, thanks to quantum mechanics.

4679
RPG Ghetto / Re: WARNING: D&D 3.5 TALK: Demi-Lich vs Tarrasque
« on: November 14, 2008, 04:48:09 pm »
Yeah, Tarrasque wins, IMO

Now, a demi-lich at full spell capacity with minions is quite possibly a different story.

4680
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Early meditations on Mind
« on: November 14, 2008, 04:40:33 pm »
Alex is a half arsed american experiment. Here in scotland we do it much better

:mittens:

Scotland wins everything forever.

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