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Messages - Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Aw! It's so romantic!

Discordia has morphed a lot, for me. When I first found it, it was about absurdity. Then, later, it was about thinking outside the box. At some point it became about thinking outside the herd, and in a sense it was very much a way for me to hang on to a counterculture identity while being a wife, mother, and homeowner. After that it became about critical thinking, and then about taking perspectives, assuming multiple viewpoints. I'm not sure what it is for me now, although I do know that a significant component of it is a reminder that I am wrong, you are wrong, we are all wrong. Not about all of everything, but about all of some things and about some of all things. And I don't know it, because we can't see the things we are wrong about until we cease to be wrong by realizing that we're wrong.

So maybe Discordia, to me, is now about surviving paradox.

One way or the other, I am pretty sure it's whatever I need it to be.

Well, the first week of the term is, as always, a stressful shitshow. Complicated by the fact that my mind is more often than  not clouded by grief.

But I'm gonna make some GMOs, so at least there's something to look forward to.

Because Underoos Disco Jesus is the savior this planet deserves.


Propaganda Depository / Re: Found an old project
« on: March 29, 2016, 03:13:44 am »
Nice! I hope you do finish it.

Maybe it was the name. Not totally convinced attaching a gender prefix is helpful in this instance. "assplaining" might have worked better

As I said, it was a humorous name that stuck because it's such a pervasively common phenomenon experienced by women from men.

Do you really need to #notallmen this one?

is the assumption, from out of the blue, that the person being explained to has no pre-existing knowledge of the subject

This is definitely a thing. I'd wrongly assumed it was fucking hilarious so I stand corrected on that point. I also wasn't aware it was only men who did this to women so it's good we now have a descriptive name for the phenomenon to clear that up.

I am fairly certain that at no point did anyone say that only men do this to women.

Yeah, mansplaining on own doesn't make someone a tool. And this guy didn't have any ill intentions. Regardless of that though, regardless even of gender, going up to the writer who worked on something for years to give them the basics is like something out of a cringe comedy.

"So you see Mr King, the secret to selling a decent quantity of books is as follows...."

Yeah, pretty much that exactly.  :lulz: It kinda makes you laugh, and also kinda makes you feel incredibly sorry for the guy because ouch.

Bring and Brag / Re: The Bird That Wasn't
« on: March 26, 2016, 12:47:15 am »
I like it.

I sometimes think my bank is annoying because of how overly zealous they are with security measures and blocking access if they think your details may have been compromised.

Then I hear horror stories like this and I think "no, my bank's pretty good."

Yeah. Yep. Absolutely. Also, my bank has fucked up so many times that it's almost like an abusive relationship that makes you scratch your head and wonder why I stayed for so long.

A lady in a group I'm in posted this article and stated her response better than I ever could have:

This means that for those who are socially vulnerable, or would be under a GOP presidency are voting for their safety, their livelihoods, their health, or even possibly their lives. For them, the notion of 'bernieorbust' is unthinkable. It is only people who have a reasonable expectation of being able to ride out a GOP administration unscathed that have the luxury of sticking their noses in the air and wasting their vote. Yes, one should vote their conscience, but unless that conscience includes how your vote impacts others, you are being self-absorbed and privileged.

Oh and they also told him that he never removed me from his accounts.

I was never on his accounts.


I went to my online banking to pay my mortgage this morning, and found to my GREAT surprise that I had full and total access to and control over all of my ex-husband's accounts with that fine institution. Now, keep in mind that we separated in 2008, divorced in 2010, and have only ever had two joint accounts there: a home equity line of credit, and a shared savings account. The home equity line of credit has been closed for years, and we went in together and separated our accounts no less than 7 years ago.

They just got new software, and through some kind of glitch, apparently the new software thinks that I own all his accounts. The first person I talked to tried to claim it was my fault for not removing him from my accounts (he's not on any of my accounts), the second person I talked to said that it was a glitch and asked me if I was sure whether he also had access to MY accounts because "in most cases only one person has access to the other person's accounts" (was that supposed to make it better?) and the third person looked spooked and told me I should write a letter to the branch manager "so they'll take it seriously". All of this just heightened my desire to get all of my money out of there ASAP, which I did.

Thanks for the words of support, guys.

The last couple of days have been mostly not too bad, in the "OK, if it's going to be like this I can probably live through it" way. It was not so much like that for a while.

I am going to complain about this here because I can't complain about it anywhere else because it makes me sound ungrateful and might hurt people's feelings.

I have one friend who texts me every day to ask "How are you doing today?". Several others text me every few days with the same question. The net result is that not a single day goes by without having to answer that question at least twice.

The problem is that the answer is never going to be "OK" or "good", and every time they ask, I think about it, and if I was doing kind of OK somehow, it pulls me out of OK and sends me back to bad. If I'm not in an OK space I can't really answer honestly. These people are not equipped for that. Most therapists aren't equipped for it. I don't mind them checking in but I want them to stop asking me how I'm doing. I want to stop having to carefully formulate answers that don't include how many hours I have been thinking about things they don't want to hear about.

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