This is exactly why I never joined any mommy groups, or really have friends with kids.
I fucking hate other parents and the way they act.
"What did you do when your son acted like this?"
"I spanked him"
"Oh I can't do that to little Katie, I just think it would have too many long term psychological effects"
"My kid turned out fine. I turned out fine. You got spanked, remember?"
"Yes but my little Brycer is different"
"FUCK YOU IN YOUR DUMB FUCKING FACE YOU STUPID CUNT"
I don't have friends with kids.
This is exactly why I hate the other mommies. Extremists and assholes who all think they've found the one magical formula for raising perfect children, and as long as they adhere perfectly to their superstitious little rituals nothing bad will befall their little snowflakes, and they won't turn out to be failures or assholes.
The fanatical extremism drives me insane. There are some pretty basic things that parents should and shouldn't do with their kids, and the rest of it really doesn't matter that much.
1. Don't be abusive (or abused).
2. Good basic nutrition all around for moms and kids.
3. Go easy on the drugs and alcohol.
4. Bond with them, be present, and be responsive to their needs.
5. Provide consistent and secure structure for their lives, including discipline
If you've got those five items covered, whether or not you spank is really pretty much beside the point. Just figure out what works for you and your family, and do that.