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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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1
BUT WHAT ABOUT MY PET UTOPIA?! SURELY ALL IS NOT LOST SO LONG AS WE CAN JUST GET PEOPLE TO UNDERSTA-

Oh.

ohh no.

2
Bring and Brag / Re: A child, a monster, and a place.
« on: May 17, 2016, 03:59:01 pm »
I'm sure it's only coincidence that I just happened to see Monsters Inc for the first time yesterday. It has to be. .yes... it HAS to be! Clearly.


This was much better, surreal of course, but more realistic monsterness.
Haha, Monsters Inc did pop into my head while I was writing it. There are some hints of Sully and Randall in there.

One of the things my buddy said about short stories is the last line should make you reevaluate the entire piece so I tried to make Brian a little more ambiguous with it.

3
Bring and Brag / Re: A child, a monster, and a place.
« on: May 17, 2016, 03:44:15 pm »
Niiiiice.

I could see that illustrated by Dave McKean.
Thanks. Yeah I loved his work on Sandman. I hadn't thought about it but his style is perfect for what I was going for.

4
Bring and Brag / A child, a monster, and a place.
« on: May 17, 2016, 01:40:51 pm »
I went to a creative themed party this past weekend. One of the workshops was for writing. I've never done a writing workshop or learned anything about the process other than doing it and collaborating, mostly with people here. At the end of the discussion, we were given the prompt:  a child, a monster, and a place. We had about 20 minutes. Here is what I came up with.

"They're coming for you, Chris." The voice was smooth, and close.

"But you're with me," Chris said. He lilted his tone like a question.

"I'm with you."

"I can't look everywhere at once. I'm afraid."

"I'm with you."

Chris sighed. The night light let a soft yellow glow into his room. It was only enough to lend everything a terrible shape. He was glad for Brian. He was always glad for Brian, when he was there. But Brian wasn't always there. Brian came from wherever monsters came from, and Brian came when Chris was scared of monsters.

"Back to back, remember," Brian said.

Chris pressed his slim frame against the hugeness that was Brian. He could see the long hairy arms extending out in the corners of his vision; a wall of monster, to stop the tide of monster.

There was a creak, and a rustle.

"The closet," Chris said.

"The bed," Brian said.

Chris raised his little pen light to the closet door. It was ajar and from the inky darkness within a pair of eyes glinted. There was a hiss as the light hit them, and a hint of scales. They retreated.

Brian was growling, a rumble that sounded like it came from the floor itself. Chris smiled wickedly. That was all Brian ever needed to do. He was the biggest monster. All the other monsters were scared of him. Brian had said so himself.

"Scouts," Brian said, "they always want to know if it's safe. Monsters are cowards."

Chris knew this. Monsters were cowards. Brian had told him. But Brian was not a coward. Brian was Chris' monster.

A howl came from outside, and the padding of many feet. Too many feet. Chris' little pen light felt all too weak. He gulped.

"They're going to use the window," Chris said. His voice wavered.

"I will take the window, then," Brian told him, "you guard our rear. Guard the door."

"On it," he said. He leveled the pen light as bravely as he could.

Tap. Tap tap. Tap. Tap tap. Claws against he window pane.

"Let us in," came a voice like a thousand snakes. "Let us in. Let us in." Tap. Tap tap.

"What do we say, Chris?" Brian asked.

"N-no," Chris said. "No!"

"We are coming in," the slithering said. "We are coming in if you let us or not!"

The window slid open behind Chris. He held his light to the door. Its little circle of white bobbed and shook.

"Don't look around," Brian told him. "They'll only be stronger if you look at them. These are tiny things. They are not like me."

"You're strong," Chris said.

"I am strong."

There was a sound like wetness and heaviness hitting the floor. Then another. And another. Brian growled. There was sliding and Brian's two huge hairy arms moving far too fast. There was tearing and squeals.

An eternity passed. "You can look around," Brian said.

Chris did, slowly. The window was open. Deep gouges were cut into the fame. Tufts of hair were missing from Brian's huge arms. His claws dripped with...something.

"You got them," Chris said.

"I almost didn't."

"But you did. Because you're my monster," Chris said.

"Yes," Brian told him, "I am your monster." And didn't the night light make the fangs look long, make the claws look sharp. "I am your monster."

5
Tucson should instead take Luna, EoC, Richter, LMNO, any myself as mascots.  Mostly on account of it's pathetic how we all try to be all NICE when we meet up with each other, but we all remember, at some level, the events at Charley's Kitchen.  The fragment I remember was this split-second in time where I was leaning across the bar getting more beer for us.  LMNO was beating the night manager while making noises that sounded like a gorilla in a clothes drier, and Richter had pinned the bartender to the wall with one arm and was cataloguing the man's sins in a friendly-sounding voice.  Luna and EoC just sat at the table, bellowing out the song Mexican Radio.  I looked at the stunned crowd and said "what the fuck were you EXPECTING?  Action/Reaction, fools!  How else did you expect the universe to respond?"

That's all I remember.
I would be part of this mascot team as long as we could still keep The Prick as a name.

6
If you've played Fallout 4, this account of the first guy to beat survivor mode is fucking hilarious

 :lulz:

I haven't played yet but that's really good anyway.

7
Hay everbody!
Is everyone still kicking?
Heya Ippie! Not many of us left but it's good to see you.

8
Hey sick box we got here guys let's piss and shit and fuck all over it until it sucks.

9
So...my mother works as a matron at a boarding school (far away from the one I'm currently at).

At wakeup call this morning, she found one of the students dead.  How was not mentioned to me, but because of the age and sudden nature, there will possibly be an inquest.

Whoa. How's she dealing with it?

10
In any case, I had to say that shit.  Now I'm adjusted.

The next one will be about the "FINE THEN I'M VOTING FOR TRUMP" tards.
Trump has been courting Bernie supporters on the sly for months now. I think it's delicious that the "abstaining from the con" crowd are in fact being conned by America's greatest used car salesman. It's yuge, lemme tell ya, just wonderful.

Can I do up the bolded facebook meme style and set it loose? I think that needs to be everywhere.
Sure. Which reminds me, I don't think we're friends there. PM incoming.

11
In any case, I had to say that shit.  Now I'm adjusted.

The next one will be about the "FINE THEN I'M VOTING FOR TRUMP" tards.
Trump has been courting Bernie supporters on the sly for months now. I think it's delicious that the "abstaining from the con" crowd are in fact being conned by America's greatest used car salesman. It's yuge, lemme tell ya, just wonderful.

12
Fucking RAH!

I 100% do not get the vitriol aimed at Clinton. She's not ideal, but witnessing the complete unwillingness to settle for a less than Jesus-level perfect candidate really makes the Bernie crowd sound like they're playing Baby's First Election Cycle. Sack up, kids, progress isn't winning this election but it's not precisely losing, either, unless everyone decides it's hopeless and stays home and uses none of the momentum.

But the vitriol aimed at Sanders voters since last November is just fine.  I didn't take it personally or anything.

Not what I meant at all, bud. Let the hate flow on.

I will.  This thread isn't about political realities.  It's about the way supposed friends demonstrate contempt over said politics.  It's when you find out that a "friend" of 10+ years wasn't really your friend, you were just pixels on her screen and an occasional advantage to be used.  Or an army buddy you've known since 1987 that has decided that you are scum for not riding the whole Sanders thing down in flames.

It's about the fact that most of the Jesii may forgive, but I am not any of them.

It's gotten ugly as fuck. And it sucks that the ugliness is coming from a movement I support. And it sucks that you've been a target of it.

13
Fucking RAH!

I 100% do not get the vitriol aimed at Clinton. She's not ideal, but witnessing the complete unwillingness to settle for a less than Jesus-level perfect candidate really makes the Bernie crowd sound like they're playing Baby's First Election Cycle. Sack up, kids, progress isn't winning this election but it's not precisely losing, either, unless everyone decides it's hopeless and stays home and uses none of the momentum.

But the vitriol aimed at Sanders voters since last November is just fine.  I didn't take it personally or anything.

Not what I meant at all, bud. Let the hate flow on.

14
Fucking RAH!

I 100% do not get the vitriol aimed at Clinton. She's not ideal, but witnessing the complete unwillingness to settle for a less than Jesus-level perfect candidate really makes the Bernie crowd sound like they're playing Baby's First Election Cycle. Sack up, kids, progress isn't winning this election but it's not precisely losing, either, unless everyone decides it's hopeless and stays home and uses none of the momentum.

15
Sean Daly was hired as a media liaison at my place of employment, for two weeks. He performed no duties, and was let go for reasons unknown.

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