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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: List of Vengeance
« on: September 29, 2010, 12:48:00 am »
It would be in my best interests to assume I am one of the unnamed, for safety purposes.  Best be hiring a poison tester for my vittles, and I know just the guy.

Hey, anyone remember where that pulp hero Dr. James Semaj went?  He always used to be so much fun in situations like this.  "Dr," we would say, "we're too afraid to go through that door, would you lead the way?"  And how he would bound in all heroically and get those booby trapped darts in the neck, and how we'd laugh and laugh.

I miss that guy.   :sad:

Bring and Brag / Re: The Audio Book of the Dead, Chapter 1
« on: September 29, 2010, 12:21:42 am »
Weird, thought I'd submitted this one.  It's from some shit I was going through when reading Dimo's thread about love:

It's when this person makes some kind of impression on you that makes you think just momentarily you might want to let your guard down to get to know each other, to allow someone into that inner sanctum of your fucked up head, just a brief glimpse into one another to see if you can dive down and cease to function in the shocking waters of a new undertaking.  In a flash of understanding there's something slight, a peek of grander things and you talk and you talk and you don't need to sleep or eat you have limitless energy to be around the other til dusk and dawn and again to see them and know them in all lights and shades of a profound but exhilerating exhaustion.  You're flooded with sensory information, aha, like how her eyes look on a winter night against reflective snow or maybe it's his smell how it pulls you closer and traps the both of you together.  Minutes lost as you go about your lives are painful but even suffering through another day or week is worth it for the knowledge of how you'll feel every moment of being together.  You both understand how important this all is on some primal level and even your bullshit hang ups and damaged psyche are no match for moving forward with this person.  And you're on, you're both on, haha, you're saying things you've never though about with no filter that are so perfect for that moment and you're both laughing; there's a sweetness in each little gesture and thought.

Your head finally wraps itself around the fact that you, you miserable fucking prick, aren't destined to die alone and some other human being is somehow capable of putting up with your imperfect ass.  There are these things your other does, mispronouncing words or cooking without enough salt or sneezing like the god damned world is ending, where you have these, HAH, moments of melting in your chest cavity.  Over time you both come to realize behind your fancy words and nice clothes and well groomed facade you're a foolish clueless dolt pretending to have a grasp on a life that's too big for you to understand.  And for once it's o-fucking-kay because as you wander around learning constantly new ways this world is fucked, AHAHA, you have an equal to become horrified at the same time.  Then one time you're stressed and there's too many questions or you aren't willing to budge and neither of you are backing down and it might get intense, might get ugly, might look pretty grim.  Nothing is bright right now because the world is through their eyes and they're turned away from you, briefly and achingly.  It's over soon but it comes and it goes and you move on and you learn precisely what not to do because the last thing you want is to upset, HAHAHA, each other not for fear but to not hurt each other.  And sometimes you have sex and it's great and sometimes you fuck and it's animalistic and depraved and incredible and sometimes you make love and it's incomparable to the other times for the exquisite closeness you feel with just one other person.

AHA HAHAHA, you come to know each other like nobody has ever known either of you before in both the good and bad.  You've seen the terrifying depths of the lows and the exuberant unparalleled highs in each other so many times it's commonplace and all you need is a kind word or the right activity to keep attacking life together because right now you aren't two people, you're together and any slight to that front brings combined wrath.  HAHAHAHA.  HAHA.  Shit's disgusting sometimes, the horrorfunk you find in the shower or the unknowable splatters of things or the hidden hodge podge of memorabilia from a person long gone.  Those little fights are a fucking joke now because these new ones are the armageddon.  You wake up in sweat with a hoarse voice and splotchy eyes and see the slammed doors and shattered egos and maybe the dried come from making up and you're just fucking relieved that it worked out because you wouldn't know what to do otherwise.  And at that moment you think you understand, or at least can see a speck of the grander scheme, of what love means.  Because you're lucky, both of you, and neither at this point could possibly fathom life without the other.  For as strong as you are and the willpower you trick yourself to having you know, ultimately, you are god damned nothing without this other person.
It's not done yet, it never is, not until you're dead and rotting or your ashes are scattered upwind of a city that the bastards may choke.  You've got these problems now and they're bad, they're real bad, bad like problems can't be bad and you don't know anymore if they're yours or if they're the other's.  Indistinguishable you blame each other and you're wonder if telling them you love them is habit or if you feel it every time, a lucky one in a sea of assholes who can't pull this love thing off.  You're told you can't love until you care more about someone else than you do yourself and it fucking kills you because that person next to you who once dazzled isn't much to you any longer, you're together because it's slightly less awful than being alone.  HAHAHA.  HAH.  AHA.  But then you can't do it anymore, lying about love and seeing adoration but not being able to return it, it makes you feel like a monster, like maybe you're incapable of really being in love like you see so boundless in others.  You've been through it all before, maybe, maybe a few times even, maybe you don't even know if you can pull the whole process off again because you're so fucking jaded.  HAHAHA.  So it's over again and it's not like last time because your ass is bigger or  your forehead is higher and no asshole is sorry enough to put themselves through the big bag of fucking misery you've turned out to be.  HA. HA. HA. HA. HA.

RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDERS: It's not a game.
« on: September 28, 2010, 11:05:55 pm »
Hey Remmi, you recieved a PM from Johnny too, right?
Or am I mistaken? I can't be bothered to go back through the past 40 pages to find it.

eta: not that it matters that much, it seems like Johnny's dead anyway

Final voting hasn't begun, so if there's good reason there's plenty of time to retract or change votes.  I say if you're onto something, go for it.

Remmi did say he got a PM from Joh'Nyx.  I think he said it was along the same lines as Dok's.

RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDERS: It's not a game.
« on: September 28, 2010, 04:33:37 pm »
I can't even trust myself.   :scared:

RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDERS: It's not a game.
« on: September 28, 2010, 04:28:48 pm »


RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDERS: It's not a game.
« on: September 28, 2010, 03:53:49 pm »
Voting for Johnny. If it's not him, we still have enough players to kill Dok next round.

Johnny - 4

I'm with you there.  I'm not buying that Joh'Nyx is the last Spider, but Dok has to know that it's a death sentence if he's wrong.

Johnny - 5

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: I HATE YOU ALLL
« on: September 28, 2010, 04:52:40 am »

RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDERS: It's not a game.
« on: September 28, 2010, 02:07:33 am »

I was gonna change my vote from Howl to Iptuos, since his voting for Fred is pointless and irrational, but i guess theres no need to give the final nudge.

It is 7 votes to Bus someone right?


RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDERS: It's not a game.
« on: September 28, 2010, 12:26:34 am »
A count (and, I believe, a current one):

Fred - 1
Howl - 1
Iptuous - 6
Joh'Nyx - 2

There needs to be one more if Ipt is to go.

RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDERS: It's not a game.
« on: September 28, 2010, 12:02:41 am »
The subsumed and bussed are apparently on a super evil mission to make it a pain in the ass to keep track of votes or arguments.   :argh!:

The remaining players are trying to be paranoid and stressed.  We don't have time for your levity and fun, THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.

RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDERS: It's not a game.
« on: September 27, 2010, 05:43:02 pm »
I've defended myself, we know what Dok thinks.  Ippie hasn't said much on the subject.  I'd like to hear from Requia and TGG.
i certainly did....
i said that i didn't trust Cudgel's proclamation because, were i in his shoes, i would have spouted a line of bullshit and laughed milk out my nose!
so i through my vote away on a third party....

WAIT WAIT WAIT.  Did you just say that we should trust you because in not believing Cudgel you recognized that in his position we wouldn't be able to trust you?

Well, that earns my vote.   :lulz:

Johny - 2
Ippie - 1

RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDERS: It's not a game.
« on: September 27, 2010, 05:12:35 pm »

You also didn't vote for Pho, but unlike me you actually discouraged people from doing so.  

I did?  

I was encouraging people to vote for Johnny.  Different thing altogether.

Your "You fuckers never listen," post sounded like a discouragement from voting for Pho.  It came just as the votes started coming in, just after Cudgel's reveal.

Did not vote for Pho:
TGG (abstained prior to reveal)
Myself (abstained after pho's total was sufficient)

I've defended myself, we know what Dok thinks.  Ippie hasn't said much on the subject.  I'd like to hear from Requia and TGG.

RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDERS: It's not a game.
« on: September 27, 2010, 04:21:18 pm »
For reference:

The (remaining) players:
Cudgel - Discordian, put on a bus
Dok Howl
Dr James Semaj - Subsumed
Eater of Clowns
Frederieke van Noodleberg
Mistress Freeky
phoenixofdiscordia - Spider, put on a bus
Sigmatic - Subsumed
That Green Gentleman
Triple Zero

I think EoC and Ippie are the two remaining spiders, but I'm still voting for Johnny, because Leslie Gore would have wanted that.  Also, he's a terrorist.

You also didn't vote for Pho, but unlike me you actually discouraged people from doing so.  What do you have to say for yourself, Dok?

RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDERS: It's not a game.
« on: September 27, 2010, 04:08:14 pm »
I do think Johny's PM attempt was him trying to mete out those he was suspicious of.  It was not a brilliant maneuver, HOWEVER, I do not think he is a spider.  He was one of the first that took Cudgel's word and voted for Pho.  Now, I would say this is the move a genre savvy spider would make, except it wouldn't mesh with the fact that he blew it with the PMs.  So unless this is some wild xanatos gambit I'm falling into...

On the other hand, unless like I said at least one of the spiders is genre savvy by voting for Pho, we can reasonably suspect the remaining spiders either voted for someone else or abstained.

I realize this puts me among their number, and so I'll defend my action.  Honestly, it comes down to not really liking the idea of someone that was put on a bus being integral to the development.  Not saying they shouldn't be participating, because it's at least partially my fault Cudgel is gone in the first place, but I wasn't a fan of it.  So that's really all it boils down to.  And I would like to add that I abstained only after it was clear Pho had the majority enough vote that it wouldn't have made a difference.

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