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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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2821
Bring and Brag / Re: More Spider Music from the Spider Project
« on: January 24, 2011, 05:04:24 am »
Another new track... TGRR with the "It's hard to know when the Spiders came and made everything real" rant.

http://www.reverbnation.com/artist/artist_songs/614898

Rant 8.

Free for streaming and download.

:mittens:

I was still talking too fast.

Amusingly, I actually slowed your track down to 87% of it's original speed.

If I didn't know better, I'd advise to lay off the biker speed.

FACT:  When I met TGRR he was speaking at his normal pace, the act of which caused such friction that his teeth melted and his lips burst into flames.  After drowning the conflagration in gravy, he casually declared he would go "freshen up" and returned with a mismatched and out of place set of new teeth concealed by what looked like, and I can only hope was, mangled raw chicken wings.  When rushing to the bathroom to go vomit I accidentally wandered into what had to be his harvesting zone, also the kitchen of this establishment, and what I saw relaxed my stomach...and my bowels right along with it.  Curiously neither he nor Richter questioned why I returned to the table wearing the head chef's pants, though I swear Richter threw me a look of solemn knowing.

These continue to be excellent, LMNO.  In the process of recording my own pieces as well as the Who Are We? stuff I've come to the conclusion that I don't know how anyone in my presence is able to tolerate the sound of pure revulsion that seems to emanate from my face when I move it around in an attempt to communicate.

2822
Or Kill Me / Re: Looking Down Your Nose While Doing a Headstand
« on: January 21, 2011, 03:55:13 am »
This.  The concept is similar - to a degree - from Nigel's rants about hipster-hating. 

I gotta say, though, that cheap bourbon is far superior - to me - than the expensive shit, because if it doesn't feel like a wad of burning fish hooks going down my throat, it doesn't do the job.  That, however, is a matter of personal taste.

Back on point, though, 9.5/10 on the rant, 10/10 on the concept.

I was thinking that as I was writing it.  It does have ties with a few of our previous hipster conversations and the meta-contrarianism thing in general.  Thanks Roger, I'd been sitting on this one for a while.  I'm a bourbon fan myself, neat, because that burning is essential to the experience (admittedly, though, I try to avoid the cheap stuff).

Sig's got a good point on it having something to do with upbringing.  Pricey booze, clothes, and food are all linked with class to some extent, and identifying with them seems pretty natural, almost a matter of pride.  That's perfectly fine because it's a statement of your preference in the positive sense.  "I do this because I like to," as opposed to "I do this because everything else is fucking stupid."

I just dream of a world where we can hate on people not for the brackish, foul stuff in their glass but for the brackish, foul stuff in their souls.

2823
Nicholas Cage films.

Ghost rider plates and instead of candles on the cake, you have a tiny wickerman made of matches.

MATCHSTICK WICKER MAN?  THAT'S TWO NICK CAGE FILMS IN ONE FELL SWOOP!

Future-themed party.  Try to dress in the future, that way thirty years from now when the kid looks back at his first birthday party, he'll be like "damn, how come all these people are dressed like it's now?"

2824
Or Kill Me / Re: Looking Down Your Nose While Doing a Headstand
« on: January 20, 2011, 11:22:57 pm »
I once came across the idea, on boingboing I believe, that being a connesiour is merely a means of justifying one's addiction.

"Oh I'm not a pothead, I enjoy quality hydroponics."
"I'm not a drunk, I just like a good martini or five."
"Don't worry I'll get over this irritable, senseless rage just as soon as I get some Arabica in me."
I'm not sure I agree with that 100% but it sure is useful in poking fun at people like that. Plus, an unpleasant drunk that chugs monarch vodka is just as unpleasant as one who drinks single malt scotch.

Nice rant.

I disagree with this.  Irritable rage from caffeine withdrawal is not only sensible, but really the only course of action in such a circumstance.

Otherwise, yeah, you're still an addict if you're swilling top shelf.

2825
Literate Chaotic / Re: How does this make you feel?
« on: January 20, 2011, 10:59:14 pm »
Justified.

2826
Or Kill Me / Re: Looking Down Your Nose While Doing a Headstand
« on: January 20, 2011, 10:56:57 pm »
WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?

Oh...um...I just don't like it.

Nice rant.

Not liking it - the only fucking reason to not partake in it.

I come across as pretentious with things like food, not having eaten fast food in three or four years, but that's perception.  I don't like it for quite a few reasons, and I will not and have not complained when friends decide to go there.  If they ask, I just tell them I don't eat it and if they ask why and decide I'm pretentious for it, well fuck them.  I do it for my reasons, and it's got nothing with me being "too good" or something.  Plus, they get to laugh at me when I walk in with a cranberry scone piled high with deli ham as they eat their cheeseburgers.

2827
Or Kill Me / Looking Down Your Nose While Doing a Headstand
« on: January 20, 2011, 10:37:35 pm »
A lean young man in corduroys and Pumas waits outside a Starbucks sporting as much awful haircut as his overpriced salon can provide.  Walking in, a former classmate recognizes him and asks him what he's doing standing outside.  "Pft, I don't drink Starbucks," he replies with a sneer that could infuriate sloths.

Across the parking lot in his beat up old F-150, a grizzled middle aged man sits, idling while his wife runs inside.  She asked him if he wanted anything and he said, "Pft, you know I don't drink that pussy crap."

You've talked to both of these motherfuckers before, and yeah, depending who you are, you are guaranteed to like one over the other.  It doesn't change the fact that both of them did exactly the same thing, for different reasons and with different words, but exactly the same thing.  Something is offered them, a beer, a coffee, a burger, and they refuse.  But they don't just refuse, they refuse in a way to imply they see themselves as better than whatever the subject is.

Be it "sorry, my tastes are too sensitive to allow anything less than seasonal microbrews past these lips," or "you're not a real man unless you drink Jack Daniels," they're letting you know, in no uncertain terms that types of people enjoy that thing and they are not one of those types of people.  Yet somehow, it's always the former that sets eyebrows raising.  Yeah it's easy to hate on pretentiousness when it's about class and high brow bullshit, but that doesn't make it any less pretentious to claim you're more grizzled for drinking crap booze.  It's the same trap.

Sorry, motherfucker, but you aren't any more real for drinking Budweiser than some jerkoff is refined for drinking Sam Adams.  If you're going to pass it up, do it for your own tastes and don't try to pull some reason why you're oh so much better than that.

2828
This series has teeth so far, Roger, and this one was a great example to bring it home.  It plays on insecurities that everyone has - self actualization, productivity, slack vs. laziness, expectation, potential, wasted lives.  Poor Cramulon is in tears, and if that isn't a productive individual what with his projects and his activities, then I don't know what is.  Though I suppose that's for him to decide.

I would now like to address the vicious lies being spread about me.  Brutal, nasty, DISPROPORTIONATE LIMBS?!  All entirely accurate, actually, and thank you.   :)  Short?  Sir, I come from a family of giants!  I am 6'0" at a slouch, a full two inches taller when I see fit to draw to my full height (an effect much like a cobra, with those flappy-things on the sides of its head)!  I have been called many things in my life - little, even, might be accurate for the gangly and spindly nature of my form, but short?  Short!?  Never.  Never!

2829
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: TRIP'S USA TRIP
« on: January 18, 2011, 09:03:34 pm »
It's totally understandable to want to see as much as possible, Trip, but what Hoopla said.  That's a huge drive, you're talking spending the better part of a week driving on flat, open nothingness instead of actually seeing anything.

I'd highly recommend breaking the US up into sections - Northeast, South, West Coast, Southwest, and Mid-west.  Focus on one, MAYBE two for the three week period.

Visiting cities, your best bet is the Northeast - we have Boston, NYC, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Providence.  Hopping from one to the other I think your longest streak in the car is probably 5 hours.

If you want landscape, though, the Southwest or the West Coast are probably the ways to go.  We have a lot of beautiful spots here in the NE, but they have way more national parks and just incredible views.

AND it looks like while I was typing this it was already addressed.

2830
Discordian Recipes / Re: Tonights menu
« on: January 17, 2011, 10:45:57 pm »
MEEEAAAATTT PIIEEEEEE!

It smells just like Memere used to make, but I haven't had any yet.  Mashed potatoes and crusty bread to go with it.

2831
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Film Flam
« on: January 17, 2011, 08:36:18 pm »
Aronofsky is talented, and I thoroughly enjoy his work, but he really isn't all that varied.  FictionPuss has a point the last time we discussed Aronofsky.  Basically the guy just makes the audience suffer, throwing shitpile after torturous shitpile at protagonists.  My first impression after seeing The Wrestler was that it was a really great movie - to see precisely once.  Anything further than that is just an exercise in sadomasochism.

Now in his quest to obliterate all hope from our lives, he has very beautiful and poignant moments in every movie.  For that, I can't hate him.

As far as indie directors though, I don't think he has the ability of, say, Danny Boyle.

This has been a slow movie year for me.  I haven't been to the theater since Inception, and I really want to check out Black Swan, True Grit, 127 Hours, and Social Network.

2832
This was one of my favorites of the psycho letters; I'm surprised it didn't catch on like the others.

Sometimes it's a grin, sometimes it's a sneer, sometimes it's malicious, and sometimes it's not clear.

Love this.


Thanks.   :)

2833
For two weeks, every time I heard "Pats have no competition - they're taking it this year."  I cringed.  Visibly.  I didn't cite the 18-1 season but it's still a fresh wound, it still hurts.  It's cool to have confidence in the team, but if you go around shouting how unstoppable they are, they will be stopped.  Sports outcomes might as well be written by Terry Pratchett in that regard.

It was a good season, and it's still pretty awesome, so long as I can decide who I hate more - the Jets or the Steelers.

Either way, Go Packers!

P.S.  I'm going to claim that if Welker hadn't been benched for the first series, we would've made that drive down the field successfully, thus gaining a momentum that would have thrown the Jets off for the rest of the game.  It's not that I actually believe this, but it's because it means that PUNS LOST THE PATS THE GAME.

2834
Literate Chaotic / Re: Unofficial What are you Reading Thread?
« on: January 17, 2011, 05:15:26 am »
Started A Game of Thrones yesterday.

I loved them all but Feast for Crows.  Storm of Swords is the best one so far IMO.

Waiting for that damn HBO series to come out now.

Same.  According to HBO, it should premiere April 17th

So that has some of the best characterization I've ever read.  The best way I could describe how well fleshed out each role is that I feel like I could gossip about them.

AND I'm really psyched to see that Peter Dinklage is playing Tyrion Lannister.  While I was reading it I was thinking he'd be good for it (forgetting, actually, that they were intending to even make that series), then found out on IMDB he would be.  Sean Bean is also a good choice for Eddard Stark, and the girl they chose for Daenarys is gorgeous (she is not 14, as in the book).

Anyway, I'll be reading the Preacher series while I wait for the my hold on the next book to come into the library.

2835
Belicheck apparently has a hatred of puns shared with some of this board.

He benched Wes Welker for the first quarter, after making a bunch of foot related puns in an interview.

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