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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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2821
**Recording.  Tunnel 9 Operations Center.  6/13/11 0317**

"Should have seen the guy.  He was elated.  Didn't have the heart to tell him the rumors."

"He wouldn't have believed them anyway.  You know those goddamn servoheads are too jacked up on adrenaline and Paynejuice to think anymore."

"Payne juice?  That drug's a wonder and applicable to way more than just the Paynites.  None of those poor fools would last a mission if it wasn't for it."

"And another thing, off that Paynite shit, all credit goes to the servoheads.  Yeah, they have a tough job.  No, I do not envy them, but at least they're on the juice.  We're in this hive straight.  They get, what, two encounters a mission?  A half dozen?  We're running dozens a day.  No replacement for the real thing or anything, but those vids are a little too vivid, and some joker rigged up Operations to have stadium sound so we can hear every little scream and, well, whatever the fuck you call that gurggling shrieking shit the Nessies make."

"What have you got against Paynites?  Maybe if you took some of the 'juice' off duty you wouldn't come in with your nerves all shot!  Look at you!  You can't hold a coffee cup without spilling it, I'm going to have to start plastic wrapping the instruments!"

"I let my tension out by jerking off onto your chair when you take bathroom breaks."

"That's disgusting."

"Anyway, do you think it's true?  About the retirements?"

"Absolutely not."

"Yeah, you're probably right.  After all, considering the keep us locked underground during off hours and the non disclosure agreements and all.  You're probably right.  They just let servoheads that have fought fucking monsters just walk out the front door, go tell Auntie Erin."

"And the alternative is what?"

"We're all in this for life.  Us.  Servoheads.  Command, probably."

"You think the whole thing will last that long?"

"Nope." ... "You know, you look like you could use an extra cuppa Payne juice tonight.  Tell you what, suck it down and then try to picture what our own retirement's going to look like."

**End Recording**

2822
Fuck's sake where have I been all day to have missed this?  I need to chew a while, I'll be back.

Until then, take these motherfuckers:

:mittens:

2823
RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDER IV - A NEW HOPE.
« on: March 29, 2011, 07:24:15 pm »
Voting for Villager.

Nice try on the deceptive name, but you forget that this isn't werewolf, the innocents are called citizens here not villagers.

EoC, dangerously genre savvy.

2824
RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDER IV - A NEW HOPE.
« on: March 29, 2011, 04:50:21 pm »
FACT:  As a Spider, I have a 100% record of choosing the Discordian.  And a 0% record of success.  It follows that, if I were the Spider again, I would have continued that stellar losing record.

Unless you're trying to LOOK innocent, anyway...

Hrm, I can see where this is gonna get confusing...

You think this is bad, I'm only a level 3 player.  I strongly suspect there are some level 5s out there, disguising themselves as level 2s.  :tinfoilhat:

2825
RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDER IV - A NEW HOPE.
« on: March 29, 2011, 04:26:02 pm »
I don't think it's Phox or EoC.  Either one of them would have nailed the other in order to make it look like Ippy.

What do you think I am, some kind of rank amateur?   :lol:

Unqualified, I said before my vote that for the first few rounds, I personally prefer to spread the vote thin around than to abstain.  I think it makes things more interesting and there's a slight chance it'll provoke a discussion.

FACT:  As a Spider, I have a 100% record of choosing the Discordian.  And a 0% record of success.  It follows that, if I were the Spider again, I would have continued that stellar losing record.

2826
After a while things changed.  A lot of people grew out of pogs, I've heard.  A lot of others just grew bored with them, forgot them once the craze died down.  Heh, I envy the innocent.  Our change didn't come from time.  It came from the guy with the razor slammers.

Our little regular group stopped getting together.  Not just for pogs, either, really entirely.  Couldn't even meet one another's gaze in the schoolyard.  Mikey was the first to go, now that I think about it.  He didn't show up to do pogs one day, and this is when we just did it because it's what we did, not out of any sense of sport or fun.  Anyway Mikey was at home.  His mom gave me the whole "can't come out to play" routine but I knew what was up.  I walked around the back and looked into his window.  It looked like he was trying to clean his room or something, but every time he came upon something disc shaped, he stopped and stared for a minute, then calmly put it down and tried to move onto something else.  Coins, soda caps, at one point he was all fucked up by the little paper rounds left by hole punches.  He turned out okay in the long run, I hear, some kind of doctor.  I was happy to hear that.

Danny is one of those guys that shapes the events in a positive light.  He's an advocate now, got himself a social work degree and everything, and he specializes in cases like ours.  When I ran into him at the supermarket the other week and found this out, he was holding a box of Ritz crackers.  I was walking by and he became suddenly very interested in the nutrition label.  Didn't say a goddamn word.

Eric.  Shit, Eric was the star of the show back then.  He had this flick of the wrist that would send your pogs flying.  Thing of beauty, it was, real talented kid.  We were glad to have him around, but I think we all knew he wasn't going to be in our little group for long with the kind of ability he had.  He turned out the worst.  Had the hardest to fall, I guess.  I never had the nerve to see him again but the stories tell themselves.  Turned into what he hated.  Went from game to game, sniffing them out on the wind like prey, toting some kind of homemade slammer he'd been working on.  Just mutilated the pogs from that point onward, his considerable skill gone totally awry.  I wonder if he ever got out of it.

Me, I'm done, you know, moved on.  Still have my moments, of course, like anybody.  I'll be rummaging through the old junk drawer and a little metal disk will slip into my hand, the weight still familiar after all these years.  Danny and Mikey and Eric flood back into vision, just some kids with a hobby.  Gotta drop that thing shortly after, shut that drawer up tight.

Hell of a fucking thing though, pogs.

2827
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: WOMP-ertainment
« on: March 29, 2011, 02:37:39 am »


This one is just so delightfully disconcerting.

2828
RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDER IV - A NEW HOPE.
« on: March 29, 2011, 01:45:57 am »
Quote
Yeah, I don't know why everyone's so keen to jump on this Abstain guy.  We barely have any evidence against him!

The game's built on paranoia, which is kind of hard to go against. Too much temptation to vote against someone because they gave you the stink eye the other day or because their avatar makes you suspicious...

Speaking of which, I notice the "pulp hero" in your avatar doesn't have any nipples.

You know what else doesn't have any nipples?

Yeah.

2829
RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDER IV - A NEW HOPE.
« on: March 29, 2011, 01:35:49 am »
:lulz:

Looks like the "wait and see" thing didn't last that long.

Yeah, I don't know why everyone's so keen to jump on this Abstain guy.  We barely have any evidence against him!

2830
You talk about it like it's a game, like it's something past.  You act like it's a hobby, or reminisce about the times when the novelty was still new.  But you don't remember.  You weren't there.  I was.

The tension of the two piles stacked up, ready for both sides to attack.  The weight of the little metal piece in your hand.  The hungry look when you were playing for keeps.

But then there was the one guy.  Maybe you did pogs for the fun of it, maybe you did it for the game.  I say did because you don't play pogs like you play with, say Lego.  You did them.  Like smack.  Well maybe you played them for fun, and hey, maybe I did too.  Not this one guy.  I can remember the look in his eyes.  Crazed and malevolent, not looking for the sport of it.  Only the destruction.

He had these slammers.  Oh god the slammers.  Kept them in some little pouch that always appeared out of nowhere, like him.  I don't even think he went to our school.  Hell, he might not have been from our state.  But whenever the thunder clouds were low in the sky he'd be there, those eyes shining like the lightning the proceeded.  The slammers.  I've still never seen anything like them.  Custom, had to be, or maybe bought using whatever life that no longer shone from his corneas.  Wrought iron, jagged and rusty, maybe, hell, it could have been a shuriken.  I just remember the sound, and the look.

Thing is, he never flipped any of them over.  He never needed to, or wanted to really.  Not after what he'd done to them.  What use did he have for a torn up little bottle cap, abused beyond even the loosest schoolyard regulation.  You can't win that way, we thought, and technically no, he never did.  But you always knew he'd won his own game - and you lost, hard.  Didn't make any sense to us then.  Couldn't talk about it much.  Never had the right words and, well, talking just made it more real, didn't it?

So talk about your game of pogs, like you know.  Like you were there.  But you weren't fucking there.  You didn't see the shit that I saw.

You couldn't.

2831
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: WOMP-ertainment
« on: March 29, 2011, 12:19:57 am »
:lulz: What the hell?

My head can be a very odd place.

AND THEN THERE'S THE INSIDE, AMIRITE?

2832
RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDER IV - A NEW HOPE.
« on: March 28, 2011, 11:26:15 pm »
I vote Iptuous.  For the evulz.

2833
Ahaha!  It's unfortunate I had to miss this one.

I also regret the puns.  Those texts went sauer.

2834
RPG Ghetto / Re: SPIDER IV - A NEW HOPE.
« on: March 28, 2011, 01:08:52 pm »
I don't believe in abstaining, but I do believe in arbitrarily dividing the votes to the point of no productivity.

I'll pop back in when voting is officially open.

2835
It took me a paragraph or two to get that it was satire as well.  Once my hate subsided or the Watchpersons comment.  Long as hell, but definitely good shit.   :D

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