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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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31
Literate Chaotic / Re: Five word horror
« on: April 10, 2015, 12:56:17 pm »
It all started pleasantly enough.  Yesterday, the shadow grew again.  Strange shapes blackened the sky.  The walls keep changing color.  There’s something outside the window.  Her eyes widened in anticipation.  It was an insular community.  We thought they were dead.  But they were dead, yesterday…  There wasn’t time to scream. 

The sun didn’t rise today.  No one sees color here.  They don’t remember the difference.  It is inside the house.  That night, I wasn’t alone.  A voice said, “You die”. There shouldn’t be visitors tonight.  Didn’t I lock this door?

“I’m not usually like this.  I can’t feel my legs.” 

She said, “I got this.”  She had too many teeth.  Time slowed to a stop.  “This won’t hurt a bit.”  The anesthesia didn’t quite work.  The scab came off again.  It had been an eye.  Below, rows of sharp teeth.  I think those are teeth.  “It’s curable, for a price.”

“I can’t find the baby.  I have these horrible urges.” 

They know, they just don’t care.”

“This isn’t my real face.” 

But there was no face…


Awesome! The quick sentences and their disjointed but still coherent nature evoke panic almost perfectly.

32
Can you teach me to be as insightful as you, Jonb?

The insight you see in his posts are really just your own, applied to his words.

33
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Lunar truth
« on: April 07, 2015, 05:03:29 pm »
Did you know that if you sync up Dark Side of the Moon with the Bible it tells you precisely where Jesus's moon base is?

 :lulz:

34
Hm.

No good men or bad, just circumstances and the changing of them.

35
False fire alarm
He wanted his steak well done
Co-workers = philistines

I actually appreciate when my coworkers tell me they like their steak well done because it's a good signal that I can ignore their restaurant recommendations altogether.

36
How long can you last?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McFzWzwtmmU

 :lulz:

The title almost ruins the climax, but that just adds to the whole package.

37
Techmology and Scientism / Re: Quantum Theory in 10 minutes
« on: April 02, 2015, 07:30:26 pm »
Before I read this my only idea of quantum physics was shroedingers cat. This explains ir so much better!
I know, right!?

Have you looked into the history of the schroedinger's cat story? It's not what you think!

Lot of dead cats in that history.   :sad:

But to be fair, only half as many as there could have been.

38
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: SOOOOO...
« on: April 02, 2015, 02:37:57 pm »
 :aaa:

wow

39
wait what's a snake

40
I have good news! I talked to Dr. Snake Brain Science today and she's giving me a spot in her lab, and my own project!

It's really an offshoot of one of the grad students' projects, but it's a little something to call my own. :) Snake brains! Yay!

IT'S DOUBLE THE NUMBER OF BRAINS BECAUSE OF THEIR TAIL BRAINS

41
Actual quote from today's guest lecturer:

Quote
The great thing about Antarctica is that there are no people there, only scientists.

 :lulz:

42
Bring and Brag / Re: Waffles' Adventures in Analogue Photography.
« on: April 01, 2015, 09:54:22 pm »
Awesome Waffles can I follow you on Instagram?   :wink:

43
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: A new currency.
« on: April 01, 2015, 08:51:18 pm »
She took off with expert heel shod strides before I even finished standing. “We do not have much time,” she said again. She pulled out her phone from the clutch and began dialing. It rang and when the other end answered she spoke, her Spanish flowing, its pace the same as her English but smoother, less awkward. More than ever I wished I understood it. She hung up and turned sharply to the right.

“We are lucky,” she said.

The last week struck my mind like a sledgehammer. “W-we are?”

She laughed. “We are very lucky! There is a rental shop still open. The hotel manager is going to call ahead for us as a favor. I knew flirting with him would pay off.” She stopped and looked at me for a moment, a look of scrutiny, like she was seeing me for the first time. “I hope they have something in your size. Most men here they are a bit…”

“Shorter?” I said.

“Broader.”

“Oh.”

She hurried on through the streets and I followed and this was Colombia. It was rails of barbed wire and beautiful people painting the blurs of my vision, towed by family, or the occasional malevolent godlike being, or worse, this smirking woman. I knew so little of it. I knew so little of her.

“So have you always lived in Bogota, or…” I said.

“Now? You ask me this now?”

“We aren’t doing anything.”

“You aren’t doing anything! I am planning to steal one of the most precious artifacts of my country’s history!”

“Oh.”

“I am from Cali,” she said.

“Ah. El Gato del Rio, the barrio Normandia,” I said, remembering two weeks ago that was more like a year.

“You have been? I grew up a long way from the barrio Normandia. It was not so nice. It is not safe there now, but then it was worse.  It was a dangerous time for Colombia, a bad time.”

I stayed quiet.

“My mother was a maid for a wealthy family,” she went on, “she stayed there most nights. They were kind. They paid for me to go to the German school and I went from there to university in Canada.”

“What brought you to Bogota?”

“Work,” she said.

I laughed. “Better thieving in the capital?”

“I was not always a thief, J,” she said quietly. She quickened her pace.

I limped after, cursing myself. There was too much I did not understand.


44
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: SOOOOO...
« on: April 01, 2015, 07:56:53 pm »
 :lulz:

How could it not have?

45
All Bill Pullman did was sit there, not giving Independence Day speeches or wishing the schwartz would be with us, sucking up all our honorary degrees.

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