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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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31
Not that anyone here needs reminding that I'm piss poor at interpersonal relationships, but I'm pretty sure I just blew it with a girl because she asked me for an opinion on the opening paragraph to The Call of Cthulhu as part of her class assignment and I launched into an explanation of how the island in a vast sea of ignorance was both the individual vs. reality and the earth vs. the cosmos, then arguing that Lovecraft's resurgent popularity was a reflection of the fact we find unknowable horrors familiar in that we live in an incomprehensibly complex self-correcting God-machine society. Via text message.

 :whack:


32
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Norway says No to Olympic Games.
« on: October 08, 2014, 07:08:59 pm »
45.  No mention is to be made of the IOC members grotesque, elongated tongues as they lap up the blood of lambs during the midnight feasts. Lamb blood to be provided at expense of royal family.

33
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Norway says No to Olympic Games.
« on: October 08, 2014, 07:05:18 pm »
16.  IOC members are not to be looked directly in the eye. Offenders must be immediately taken from IOC members' vicinities for eye removal.

17.  IOC members must be served only pure grain alcohol to protect their precious fluids.

18.  IOC members shall not be addressed as "sir," or "ma'am" as their true titles are Beyond the Tongues of Man.

19.  The walking paths of IOC members must be anointed seven times with the ritual oils at the expense of the common folk.

20.  No member of the IOC shall be exposed to the color yellow at any point in their stay. Yellow is beneath them.

34
I will be keeping up this one, oh yes. It has a great Fear and Loathing vibe so far

35
3 more days and I get to go home to Tucson.  :banana:

To clarify:  I get to go home to my wife. :hammer:

You and Tucson made it official, huh?

36
Awful. Your rational and irrational thoughts are both right and both, of course, equally useless. Sorry, Nigel.  :sad:

38
It looks like I may be spending a portion of my summer in Turkey. My Greek history professor manages a dig.

http://www.cadirhoyuk.com/index.html

They have 2 Byzantine trenches. I'm going to see if I can A: Use it as one of my required internships and/or B: Use it as a springboard for my thesis.

Oh My God! That's Horrible. I'm sorry.

Why can't our lives just be filled with uninteresting mundane things? Just think of all the trips to the grocery store for salted butter you're going to miss out on in that time.

 :lulz:

39
I got some of Nigel's favorite unsolicited advice yesterday. I was joking about the time I was gifted a pair of boxers that didn't have a crotch hole, which I didn't know until I wore them out drinking, confusedly fumbling around to find the opening while half in the bag.

Immediately I get a chorus of "Why don't you cut an opening for them?" And "Why not just pull them down and go up and over?"

GOOD IDEA FUCKSTICKS, GUESS I CAN STOP SIMPLY URINATING MYSELF NOW.  :lulz:

I can't stop thinking of the profound level of Bad Idea cutting a pee-hole in your underwear while wearing them, intoxicated, is.

In their defense, they assumed it'd be from the inside out, as it's well known in my circles that my organ is both barbed and prehensile.

40
Clowns.  :sad:

41
I got some of Nigel's favorite unsolicited advice yesterday. I was joking about the time I was gifted a pair of boxers that didn't have a crotch hole, which I didn't know until I wore them out drinking, confusedly fumbling around to find the opening while half in the bag.

Immediately I get a chorus of "Why don't you cut an opening for them?" And "Why not just pull them down and go up and over?"

GOOD IDEA FUCKSTICKS, GUESS I CAN STOP SIMPLY URINATING MYSELF NOW.  :lulz:

42
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Spagbook
« on: October 05, 2014, 04:53:56 am »
I was staying in a finca in a mountainside in Medellin, Colombia when our hostess, who spoke as little English as I do Spanish, looked at me and declared, "Doctor House!"

43
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Spagbook
« on: October 05, 2014, 04:46:32 am »
DEFINED CHEEKBONES AND SOULFUL EYES 100% EOC

jk eoc drunk

You look like Hugh Laurie.  This is a compliment.

OMG, he does!

Hahaha this is a running joke for like 7 years. I was at a party and someone said "has anyone told you you look like," and were interrupted with "yeah, he's heard it." I once was complimenting a friend on his hair and saying that all I ever got was that I look like House and from across the room a random cat yelled out "holy crap you look like House!"

44
I have a coworker that's been out for months. His wife left him and he's been on so many med cocktails he can barely function. It's a crappy situation and I feel bad for him, but he's also a bit of a sociopath. My boss mentioned something about missing him, because he's funny as hell and gets the whole office rolling.

I spent the second half of yesterday's shift cutting out 50 wallet sized photocopies of his face and taping them everywhere in my boss's office. They're on the underside of his computer mouse, along the lights, and covering up the faces of his children on the photos on his desk. The creme de la creme is a 3x3 printout of his face colored over in dry erase markers and mounted on his wall like a demented Andy Warhol painting.

I am on vacation for 9 days. I wonder what will come of this.

45
:spittake:

The Danzig one.

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