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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Base Camp
« on: July 07, 2015, 09:56:07 pm »
:eek: perhaps it was all a clever rouse! I do hope the natives are not cannibals.

Saaay that's a clever idea.

Have we considered eating them? I say we give it a try, eh gang?

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Base Camp
« on: July 07, 2015, 08:09:16 pm »
Ho! Who is steering this damned place, we've driven the whole thing right into some pith helmets.

A more-or-less typical Wednesday evening conversation:

"I am getting tired of the word craft. Craft cocktails, craft scotch eggs, craft craft. Craft pussy on the wood fired Avenue of Roses," Charley said.

"That's so beautiful. I am wearing a craft sweatshop dress made by a hand-crafted Chinese adolescent," I replied.

"Smoking craft-made water hash with a craft-made craftless glass pipe," he said.

"I think the next big trend is uniformity. The mass-produced anonymous look."

"J Crew?"

"Totally. Gap. Assembly-line, factory-produced couture..."

"Maybe no. So many folk must wear socks."

I continued, "...reassuring. Stable. A functional cog in a social machine that is larger than all of us. A look that says 'I believe in the Collective.'"

"'And all the humans are dead,'" Charley blurted.

"So moving. Graceful. Scintillating," I broke out my rusty poetry review skills.

"I touched one. They're dead," he repeated.

Florid. My imagination was captured. "Warm in the summer sun, bloating. Soon the haciendas come."

"The Goddess Rebecca and her dusty brood of minions," he referred to our cupboard moths.

"In the aftermath the shining robot workers of the Collective will place offerings of grain in the cupboards that once held human food," I finished triumphantly.

"But then it ends before the top stops spinning so it's like is he still dreaming or not?"

Dunno just figured they were wrong about the hot dog thing so can't see why the joke thing would be any different.

"Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the war room!"

Flying down to the Outer Banks tomorrow. I may be around but you beautiful folks keep doing what you do until I get back.


Armchair-psychologist moment:

Why do you thrive on negative attention? Do you touch yourself with one hand while replying with the other?

It's probably because I was so dreadfully intelligent and behaved as a child. Everyone just forgot about me because I never did anything wrong. To get any attention, I had to do shit like this. And actually, I type with my penis to kill two birds with one stone (I have to hold it with both hands - Awful hand-eye coordination, not because of the size.)

Armchair-psychologist moment:

Why do you thrive on negative attention? Do you touch yourself with one hand while replying with the other?

19 and lonely, is my guess.

He's doing the inevitable attention-seeking spiral of shame.

Hopefully he'll eventually grow up enough to look back on this and be embarrassed. Most of them do. Not all of them, though. Remember that one Australian who got super into meth? That guy never really did. What was his name?

Lonely?  Not even going to comment.

The spiral of shame is my life. I don't learn anything any other way. I've practically been on 2 or 3 ON THIS BOARD. I had mini-spirals back when I made my first rant. Randomly posting pictures for completely un-entertaining reasons and LOLOLOLing while I spout nonsense and randomly misunderstand simple statements and questions is just what I do when I'm turning into less of an idiot.

This shit was just because it pissed me off that you blew what I said out of proportion (Probably more my fault, considering my wording), so I just went with it and built on it, knowing it would become a shitstorm. And then it just became entertaining as fuck to try and make this a self-fulfilling prophecy. As you guys made predictions on where my behavior was going to go next, and as you made predictions on my personality, I just built on it. You guys seemed to like the armchair psychologist at the end, so I figured I'd play it out for a few more posts. Obviously its comedic value was lost over night. I'll probably come back in a month and be completely chill and empty of shit-fuckery.


if only u rlly knew me

It didn't start out just for the lulz. But as you guys started having fun with it, so did I.

This is me, minus the sarcasm, minus the lies, and minus the self-deception:

You joke around about "if u rlly knew me," but I think you'd be surprised how pathetically dependent on the happiness of others I am IRL. I hate it so much, that a lot of the time, I just pretend to be some "badass that don't bow to no one," especially over the internet. I try to satisfy everyone, all the time. And when I can't, I become down, and go somewhere else. I'm so goddamn focused on it, that I am usually willing to give up my dignity if I can at least get some laughs. I generally don't care if I'm the laughing stock of an entire group. I hate being taken seriously, because when I am, people stop feeling so great. When I'm serious, I'm boring and depressing. So I have to be a fool.

People mooch off of me and walk all over me most of the time because I find it hard to say no. I spend almost half of my paychecks on my delinquent friend who took 2 months to get a job because I can't find it in me to let him starve and learn his lesson. I can pretend like I see people as objects over the internet, but when it comes down to it, I can't refuse people in person. And I hate that, because it makes me feel like I hardly have a will of my own.

I don't think my girlfriend is stupid. She's a super hard worker, a fast learner, and did better than I did in school. She may have been transparent when she used to lie to me, but she has never been easily manipulated. I don't manipulate anyone, unless you count logical persuasion. I wish I was a manipulator. But lying takes too much energy (In person. If I can't see you, you're practically out of mind. Maybe that's one of my problems on the internet.).

You wanted noobs to be open and vulnerable? Well, here I am. I was WRONG. And I am stupid.

You're getting it, hopefully. In Open Bar I said be a person and this is it. It takes way more guts to be terrified and unsure than it does to wear a mask. Or a trilby.

Wait a minute what was it that was expressed so many times in Open Bar.

If only there were an UNLIMITED thread of some sort to chronicle the whole thing...

Oh look, the guy who manufactured a half assed personality of hypercompetence and manipulation for himself in real life to mask standard teenage insecurities is retreating further into it when challenged.

That's an absurd conclusion based on a collection of broad assumptions and misconceptions about myself and how I treat her. What do you think I do to her? Do you think I beat her? Do you think I try and control who her friends are and who she hangs out with? Do you think I direct her to certain fields of study because I don't like hers? Because that's the kind of person you all seem to think I am.

Hey I don't want any carefully crafted arguments to cause you any epiphanies or anything, but maybe you should examine how so many people came to that conclusion based on the information you've presented and your behavior following their concerns.

This has all the markings of what sounds like it'll be your first big failure. I hope when it inevitably goes wrong you're able to learn the differences between being right and doing the right thing, and from there take a positive step toward growing as a person. Because you're not really selling very many people here on the whole you're a person thing.

I'm with Paes and would like to add you're a dick and fuck you.

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