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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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61
Our Sheriff took off to Texas to witness the border crisis in person.

He is quoted as saying he would send the busloads of children away in a heartbeat, and that what we have isn't a humanitarian crisis, but a "crisis of leadership." He thinks some of them will end up in Massachusetts and we'll end up housing them at our jail.

62
Shitty coffee is a godsend.

Give me that dirty mud from a greasy spoon any day, a million degrees and tarnishing stainless steel spoons, burning holes in my stomach and leaving pockmarks on the floor below. I'll take free refills, thank you very much.

63
Squish.

Squish.

Squish squish squish.

Squish.

squishsquishsquishsquishsquishsquish

AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHH H

64
Wrong European, EoC.

I can't even speak belgian

There is only one European. The rest of them murdered and ate one another in the coming bad times.

It's Pix.

I wouldn't admit to that. Some other Eurospag is going to chop off your head to steal your power. There can be only one.

65
Wrong European, EoC.

I can't even speak belgian

There is only one European. The rest of them murdered and ate one another in the coming bad times.

66
Is that...is this? Zippletits Dutchbag?

67
You may have heard that the psychotropic element of mushrooms is not digestible, and can thus be harvested from the urine of the previous user. There are tales of early peoples drinking animal urine to experience the effects of mushrooms that would be otherwise poisonous to humans. Alty personally believes this also to be true of sexual ability, and has spent the last ten years of his life harvesting, and imbibing, walrus piss.

We've all received those ads for male enhancement. Alty has too, and he knows it's for suckers. "They're just walrus piss pills," he'd say, drinking a rancid glass of aquatic mammal urine.

Hear tell, it works too. The man's an absolute demon. Tales of dreamy eyed men and women walking around bow legged and smiling, frequenting the saw dust covered floors of whatever shit dive bar they think Alty may patron that evening.

It should be said that as interest rose in Alty's particular method, studies were undertaken and, no, one gains neither walrus virility nor penile girth from drinking their urine. Yet still he does it, and still it works for him.

68
Demolition was a natural choice for Junkenstein for the simple fact that his ejaculate is pure nitroglycerin. This would be harmful, fatal in fact, to his partners, if his partners were human or, indeed, alive at all. None know for sure what gets him going, only that rubble and dust mark the spots of his lovemaking.

69
Exactly what the title says.

Describe the sex life of the person above you.

GO!

70
Nigel, thanks for the add, but I was able to tolerate The Discordian Society on my feed for about 30 seconds before quitting.   :lulz:

71
PD, let me ask you something.

What the bloody fuck has happened to you? You're being trolled, SUCCESSFULLY, by a guy who accidentally outed his own alt in 30 minutes. I HAVE HAD PIZZA DELIVERIES TAKE LONGER THAN THAT.

72
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: My Girl Friday
« on: July 11, 2014, 04:51:07 pm »
Burn Down the Mission   :lulz:

I appreciate Friday's darkly comedic role in the story.

74
Well, now have 2 people reading the story here, and maybe 4 at the other place.

I suck at this.

I'm gonna tie up year end financials instead.

I am keeping up, sorry for not chiming in more. And hey even if nobody is reading, fuck it, write anyway. That's how Necronomicoin is still alive.  :lulz:

75
This is so inept it's poetic.

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