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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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I'm still alive.  Just writing a lot, and procrastinating a lot.  Mostly procrastinating.  Carry on!

Hey there, Hoops, I was just wondering where you were, but not posting about it.

If I post about it, it makes the humanity inside me that I am trying to kill even stronger.     :)

It would make a truly amazing bit of satire. Does PIV just stand for Penis In Vagina? Because L-O-L.

The subtext is delicious on a number of levels.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Source code
« on: March 25, 2015, 02:14:54 am »

If I'm still alive in the morning, I'm checking myself into the hospital.  This is no ordinary flu.  I've been through 4 IV bags today, and I'm still dehydrated, on account of my ass is sort of like Niagara Falls, only with less color in the water.

I realize that this might be more information than you wanted.  But if I die, I want you to remember me a certain way.


You phrased that beautifully but in seriousness I hope you feel better soon.

Holy crap dude. No other injuries besides stiffness I take it?

I'm in the Singapore airport, and my feet hurt.

I will be here until 8:50 am. I think it's currently somewhere around three.

Nigel lands in Singapore, Lee Kuan Yew dies shortly after.

91 is awfully old to be Nigel'd.

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Speak No More
« on: March 22, 2015, 02:38:01 am »
You liked it, I assume.

I'm going back next weekend.

Did you catch the orgy scene?

I didn't! Damn. I feel like I missed a lot.

I did like it. I think it says a lot though how much my thought process focused on the audience. We could be pretty distracting. When an actor is running down the stairs and 20 masks are clustering after it's hard to get lost in the story.

The nurse really struck me as a character. I couldn't place her overall but it seems like she was subtly feeding a few people, what, opium?

I might do it again in the future. Definitely check back both about your different experience and the change between a regular show and the New Year's Eve one. We didn't get robes and I think they would contribute well to anonymity. I found plaid shirts a little jarring in that environment.

The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Speak No More
« on: March 21, 2015, 04:08:15 pm »
The audience is part of the show.

Haha, I thought that, when I was given my mask and when a pretty little actress made hard, fearless eye contact with me. I'm a small part, a phantom voyeur that they know is always there and that deeply unnerves them. The sordid life of nobility is mine to absorb, mine and the rest of the phantoms. We have power here, and freedom, and do we float from padded cell to witches' hut or do we see the beautiful players at their most vulnerable but wait there are so many of us I can't find a moment alone and the white faces line every action and the players stride through throngs of packed ghosts.

The audience is in the way.

I thought very briefly they played just for me, at times, stumbling down corridors and turning mirrors away from themselves, slamming them against the wall. But I see only the lead up to a larger thing in a room of blank white faces. Their posture bothers me, slouching or lounging so casually in a such a deliberate setting their juxtaposition is jarring. They are not creatures of flesh but they struggle for the best view. Here another player enters the scene and the phantoms part like mist and the ones who don't are waved away, gently but firmly.

The audience is not in the way.

We are neither part nor annoyance we are just there, blank staring faces in a crowd. We follow lights and sounds, we peer over balconies and through windows for a glimpse of the real. We cannot hear true words or music only distorted hints of them, rising and falling and drowning each other out, recurring as a scene plays out again or leading us away to another about to start. We cannot speak. Our world subtly funnels us, pushes us as much as the players might, disregards us because

the audience does not matter at all.

Everything happens whether we are there or not, and so many of us try to follow but it is fast and while we follow one player so many others play elsewhere. A gruesome scene unfolds, a violent and tragic one and there is nothing we can do to stop it, not one of us or four dozen. We are flesh but smoke and featureless nothings with eyes. We do not matter at all.

Hey, thanks!


This I understand, I see you do too. Mind if I cobble some thoughts together on it to post? I have been told I have death's eyes by one of my brothers, and that when I am angry my face may smile without actually showing teeth, but you can feel them in my eyes. He would know.

This is a great write up!

No need for my permission, but yeah go for it.

Big Words?

If you are so inclined. I still love that Tucson is in the bag one you did a while back.

Permission to print this off and leave it around the plant?

By all means. It would be irresponsible of me to say no. It could save lives.

Congratulations! You are the proud owner of a GRIN. Some of us find this out with a mirror, some of us through friends and family that mysteriously look away whenever you thought you were smiling, some of us through deduction following the Red Phase that results in amnesia and tears. In any case, your GRIN is a thing to be cherished.

Now, there are a few common misconceptions regarding your GRIN to be addressed:

1.  Your GRIN is happy. Maybe it is! But most likely, it isn't. When you see a chimpanzee GRIN, you should probably stay away because you are about to have your face torn off. A GRIN is different from a smile because it shows how many teeth we have, and teeth are our best natural weapons. Don't believe me? Try chewing a carrot with your hands. You'll probably find that you cannot.

2.  Your GRIN is natural. Many people think you either have a GRIN or you do not. Surely a GRIN is limited by the size of the mouth and the teeth it contains, but that is beside the point. It is what you can convey with a GRIN that is important. Think of it like a blade. A gleaming perfectly sharp set of teeth shows you what they can do, but a worn and discolored set shows you what they already have done. Both of these closely relate to misconception number 3, which is...

3.  Your GRIN is in your mouth. While it is true that the displayed portion of the GRIN is toothy, the most important aspect of it lay in your eyes. It is said that the eyes are the window to the soul, and the importance of the GRIN is to convey that you have none. They should remain fixed and staring while you bare your brightest facsimile of the thing called a smile that your stupid fucking teachers told you was a good thing.

So now that you know some mistakes all make about GRINS, what can you do to make the most of yours?

Well, the most important aspect is practice. Your GRIN is a muscle, and like any muscle it can be developed to a natural and harmful state. But muscles have limits where GRINS do not. If you overdo it using a muscle, it will strain, whereas if you overdo it using a GRIN, those around you will strain. Indeed, just as a blown muscle will never be the same again, neither will your interpersonal relationships.

Your GRIN is deceptive. While those who GRIN and other savvy masters of body language understand that it's an anxiety reflex of cornered and dangerous animals, pretty much everyone else mistakes it for a smile, which they see as weakness. These are the best sorts of people. Not only do they misunderstand your intentions, but it is generally indicative of a wider lack of true comprehension of the world around them! This is the perfect opportunity to teach them that teeth are not nice things.

Treating your GRIN is as much physical as it is psychological. It is fine to say one should encourage one's GRIN in confrontations, but that is only half the battle. Be sure to brush and floss regularly, drink plenty of water, and gnaw upon the cast off bones that your weak ass dog fancies itself too good for.

For further references on the subject, remember your case studies. Roger, of course, whose GRIN is a Harbinger of Reality and surely a sign that you have not been paying attention to the Way Things Are. Alty, whose Alaskan-forged GRIN by necessity creates the two categories of Those Who Have Seen It and Those Who Still Have Their Noses. Nigel, whose GRIN says to you Yes You Should You Should Always And Forever Just Once More There We Go Do It Again Hahaha Yes Once More No Never Mind All That Pay It No Heed You Should Hahaha Why Are You Screaming.

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