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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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76
Another mass shooting.   :sad:

THAT TIME OF THE WEEK

QUOTAS TO FILL AND ALL THAT

JUST THE LATEST WHOOPSIE IN THE LONG LINE OF GUN UH-OHS IN OUR BEAUTIFUL LAND OF REGULAR "INCIDENTS"

77
If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

Tucson is everywhere. Everywhere is in the bag.

The bag is lost.

Everywhere is lost.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

The bag is in Tucson. Tucson is everywhere.

The bag is everywhere.

The bag is lost.

Tucson is lost in Tucson. Everywhere is lost in everywhere.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

I need to steal this

Be my guest. I was having A Little Moment.

LIKE ROGER IN THE VOICEMAIL HE LEFT ME WHILE I WAS WATCHING GODZILLA.

Roger, listen to me, I know you're reading this. Despite what you think is expected of you in that particular interaction, you need to know this:

Do. Not. Cook.

78
If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

Tucson is everywhere. Everywhere is in the bag.

The bag is lost.

Everywhere is lost.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

The bag is in Tucson. Tucson is everywhere.

The bag is everywhere.

The bag is lost.

Tucson is lost in Tucson. Everywhere is lost in everywhere.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

79
I haven't been able to vote on it because it says polling is closed.   :?

80
Pump the brakes on that first one, Raz.

I see what you did there.  :wink:

81
Aneristic Illusions / Re: PUAHate shooting incident
« on: May 31, 2014, 04:41:05 pm »
Okay, sorry, I was being unclear.

This:


And in other news today, we had another little gun related "whoopsie" - 7 dead. This follows last week's firearm "uh-oh" that was thankfully only six.

I was riffing on the progression of mass shooting becoming so common that they're incidental. Neither of those things I mentioned happened.

82
Aneristic Illusions / Re: PUAHate shooting incident
« on: May 31, 2014, 02:36:15 pm »
Side note, I love a mass shooting being referred to as an "incident." Like the time you left a floater in the toilet bowl at work or when crazy old Larry vented a little at his boss. This isn't to disparage anyone, but goddamn, we're so used to talking about killing sprees that they're fucking "incidents."

Two days ago I saw the onions news article title about this: ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
It was funny, if a little grim. Calling them "incident's" is one step away from the onions stupid title being used genuinely instead of for comedic effect.

And in other news today, we had another little gun related "whoopsie" - 7 dead. This follows last week's firearm "uh-oh" that was thankfully only six.

Do you have a link? I haven't heard anything about this, nor can I find it on the news.

To The Onion article? Because my little blurb there was just me taking the piss.

83
 :lulz:

84
Aneristic Illusions / Re: PUAHate shooting incident
« on: May 31, 2014, 12:54:53 pm »
Side note, I love a mass shooting being referred to as an "incident." Like the time you left a floater in the toilet bowl at work or when crazy old Larry vented a little at his boss. This isn't to disparage anyone, but goddamn, we're so used to talking about killing sprees that they're fucking "incidents."

Two days ago I saw the onions news article title about this: ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
It was funny, if a little grim. Calling them "incident's" is one step away from the onions stupid title being used genuinely instead of for comedic effect.

And in other news today, we had another little gun related "whoopsie" - 7 dead. This follows last week's firearm "uh-oh" that was thankfully only six.

85
Aneristic Illusions / Re: PUAHate shooting incident
« on: May 31, 2014, 02:58:10 am »
Side note, I love a mass shooting being referred to as an "incident." Like the time you left a floater in the toilet bowl at work or when crazy old Larry vented a little at his boss. This isn't to disparage anyone, but goddamn, we're so used to talking about killing sprees that they're fucking "incidents."

87
WHO DO YOU THINK FUCKED WITH YOU LUGGAGE?

Had the balls to open that yet? Have fun.

Actually, I got an email when I turned my phone on upon landing in Tucson.  The bag is in Dallas, and they will be forwarding it.


Holy shit. This is either going to be REALLY weird, or so unbelievably mundane that it will just be baffling.

I am not expecting much out of the universe, these days.

Don't let them touch.

You know what happens when dopbaggangers touch.

88
The Richard Nixon school of ballet and the arts / Re: Spagbook
« on: May 30, 2014, 02:21:00 am »
IN SOVIET PORTLAND, NIGEL LICKS CAT.

89
Dominic Carrasquillo, with his slicked back hair stained deep enough brown under all the product to be black, with his solid frame and decidedly Italian and Spanish genes, did not look like a financial crimes investigator. He didn’t even look like a cop. He didn’t necessarily look like a criminal, but if Dom told a person he was a busboy at a fine eatery on Federal Hill that did errands for his employers from time to time, said person might not be surprised. Some part of the investigator in Mike, what little of it there truly was, instinctively expected of Dom a difficult interaction. The man simply put forth that vibe.

“Your man’s seen better days,” Dom said. Even this had a way of sounding like a challenge, coming from this man.

Mike didn’t say anything. His hands rested on his hips with his shoulders bunched up, leaning forward a bit. His eyes were squinted. He didn’t respond to Dom but looked around Prospect Park as if expecting Sid to pop out from behind one of the bushes.

“Was he hurt,” he asked finally.

“Nah,” Dom said, “he wasn’t hurt or nothing.”

“So then seen better days how? Was it his clothes? Were his clothes ruffled up? Did he look like he’d slept at all in the last couple of weeks? Come on, Dom, help me out here.”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Mike. Sid looked like Sid. Cheeks all red and pocked, tiny little suspicious eyes, kinda bald - Sid. Just Sid that ain’t all there.”

Mike sighed, nodded. “Alright, so he was preaching.”

“Yeah that’s what I’d say.”

“Preaching how, then? Crazy man on the street corner preaching? Hellfire and brimstone pastor preaching?”

“Nah, not like that,” Dom paused. His hands rested in the pockets of his jeans and he brought one up to scratch the back of his head. “You ever watch TV late at night maybe ten, fifteen years ago, early 2000’s.”

Mike nodded.

“There used to be this guy, pitching his book, wild gray and brown hair standing up, big eyebrows, scrawny dude in a green suit with question marks like he was dressed up as The Riddler or something. He had some tried and true method in this book of his for making money and he was real over the top about getting it out there,” Dom made eye contact with Mike and tilted his head back a bit, “you ever see that guy?”
Mike had. He always had these big thick glasses on him and had a girl or two close by in every shot of the commercial. “Yeah I remember that guy.”

“That’s how Sid was preaching. He was a used car salesman, high on the pitch. What was he talking about anyway? You’re acting like you know already.”

“Trust me, Dom, you don’t want to know,” Mike turned to the park exit and pointed at the street sloping downhill with his chin. “So he just walked off that way, calm as could be? Would be, what, two hours ago now?”

“Yeah. That’s all I saw of him. Look, you need any help, or - ?”

“That’s alright, Dom,” Mike grinned at him, “wouldn’t think of putting you through it. You remember how much a pain in the ass Sid could be.” He held out his hand. “Thanks.”

Dom took it and crushed it like a scrap of paper. He smiled back and even the smile was a fight. “Don’t mention it.”

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