91
Aneristic Illusions / Re: So, RWHN, it appears your predictions of doom are contradicted
« on: April 10, 2013, 11:44:38 pm »
As a clown, I can say that if this is what thoughtful conversation consists of then CLOWN ON MOTHERFUCKER.
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92
Apple Zone / Re: ATTN - EOC - FINAL DEMANDS
« on: April 09, 2013, 08:49:37 pm »
You'll be back you know.
You'll hear the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE and you'll know. You'll know it was a forgery. I has to be, because it doesn't exist.
I never promised you the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE. Known lizard person The Good Reverend Roger challenged me to provide it and I saw through his ruse. It is a shame the rest of Mexico could not do the same.
Oh yes you'll be back.
You'll hear the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE and you'll know. You'll know it was a forgery. I has to be, because it doesn't exist.
I never promised you the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE. Known lizard person The Good Reverend Roger challenged me to provide it and I saw through his ruse. It is a shame the rest of Mexico could not do the same.
Oh yes you'll be back.
93
Apple Zone / Re: ATTN - EOC - FINAL DEMANDS
« on: April 09, 2013, 08:45:54 pm »While humanity is not required for our MEXICO, it is a clear requirement (Form GH3/2ass/hat, Deceleration A333L&&&/££"!11"/2/2/2E, or the "I am a HuMAN and possess an actual head, skull and contents, medical certification required in quadriclate) that the Ceremonial Sombrero must be shown upon MEXICO's HEAD (And you must recall the strife that occurred the last time a MEXICO just touched the hat. Body and baby parts in the streets for weeks, cats and dogs living together you know the rest)
As a known Lizard person, this aspect alone should stop you. I also remind you of the official portrait requirement that you would be unable to fulfil.
These are the laws of Mexico. Please do not disrupt the peaceful transition process.
RIMCFPPPAUGYTHS
I certainly wouldn't contest any document written by hirley0.
94
Apple Zone / Re: ATTN - EOC - FINAL DEMANDS
« on: April 09, 2013, 07:42:25 pm »
My Mexicos, I have heard your cries! I have heard your pleas!
You wish to learn the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE. I deny such a thing exists, but for you, my people, I will search for the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.
As such, any who mention the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE must have useful information regarding it, yes? Mexico will detain these people for questioning.
And thanks to Project Infinite Mexico, we can detain everyone!
You wish to learn the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE. I deny such a thing exists, but for you, my people, I will search for the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE.
As such, any who mention the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE must have useful information regarding it, yes? Mexico will detain these people for questioning.
And thanks to Project Infinite Mexico, we can detain everyone!
95
Apple Zone / Re: ATTN - EOC - FINAL DEMANDS
« on: April 09, 2013, 01:36:27 pm »
Hello, friends!
It's Eater of Clowns - YOUR Mexico.
I'm very sad to see such rabble rousing, such incitement, and more even, such gullibility, among members of Project Infinite Mexico. You would see yourselves burned to the ground? You would cut off your nose to spite your face?
Remember, Mexicos, the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE is a filthy lie. I understand its appeal, I do. Who would not want to hear a good joke? I do. Mexico is well known for its love of jokes. But there is no joke, my friends. There never was. It is a manipulation tactic, albeit a clever one, by my former opponent, deposed Cuba, and known lizard person The Good Reverend Roger.
Think about if you were a lizard person. You cannot birth live young. You cannot maintain a consistent body temperature and must seek out sunny rocks. You eyes flicker about all weirdly. You cannot be Mexico under Project Infinite Mexico. What would you do? Manufacture dissatisfaction with present joke fulfillment. It's a tactic as old as dissent itself.
And more, what if I'm wrong? What if there is a second half of the joke? You've wanted that joke so badly, and you've done such reprehensible things, such terrible regrettable things for it.
What happens when you hear it and, well, it's just not that good?
It's Eater of Clowns - YOUR Mexico.
I'm very sad to see such rabble rousing, such incitement, and more even, such gullibility, among members of Project Infinite Mexico. You would see yourselves burned to the ground? You would cut off your nose to spite your face?
Remember, Mexicos, the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE is a filthy lie. I understand its appeal, I do. Who would not want to hear a good joke? I do. Mexico is well known for its love of jokes. But there is no joke, my friends. There never was. It is a manipulation tactic, albeit a clever one, by my former opponent, deposed Cuba, and known lizard person The Good Reverend Roger.
Think about if you were a lizard person. You cannot birth live young. You cannot maintain a consistent body temperature and must seek out sunny rocks. You eyes flicker about all weirdly. You cannot be Mexico under Project Infinite Mexico. What would you do? Manufacture dissatisfaction with present joke fulfillment. It's a tactic as old as dissent itself.
And more, what if I'm wrong? What if there is a second half of the joke? You've wanted that joke so badly, and you've done such reprehensible things, such terrible regrettable things for it.
What happens when you hear it and, well, it's just not that good?
96
Apple Zone / Re: Conquest of the Planet of the Bride of the Son of the Return of the Open Bar
« on: April 09, 2013, 02:00:21 am »I, however, have developed a wonderfur meta self, in where I realize I am naught but a brute, and therefore develop a secondary personality which does its best to countermand my base impulses when dealing with a female I wish tobone hard and longhave a respectful and meaningful relationshipbone hard and long.
This leads to a self-imposed cognitive dissonance, where I often act in bizarre and unexpected ways as I try to act the way I think she wants me to act, which is often completely wrong.
Roger has the superior Way. Obvioulsy.
I just know who and what I am.
I am not stupid, but I am a fool. I love women in general terms, and I go partially concussed when I am around them. When I am around a woman I love in specific terms, I go completely brain damaged...By which I mean, my motivations on any given subject are very simple and very obvious. This leads people to think there's something going on under the surface.
But there isn't. There's just The Good Reverend Doktor Roger Howl jamming his head into the future, to see what will happen.
It sounds goofy, but it's a winning strategy for happiness. And slightly elevated medical expenses.
Well, this one I have (or thought I had) is confusing the fuck out of me. He ought to take a lesson from your book.
All he has to do is let me know that he wants to put his penis in me, and I'm there.
Having met you, it is obvious that the confusion isn't on YOUR part.
Diagnosis: HE'S A FUCKING MORON.
Proposed treatment: Roofie him up. Alternatively, go find a guy who isn't stone blind and brainsmashed.
As a FUCKING MORON with a demonstrable history of not knowing a woman is into me after signals up to and including being slapped around and told "I HAVE A THING FOR YOU, YOU DIPSHIT" I say give the guy a chance.
97
Apple Zone / Re: DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEID!
« on: April 09, 2013, 01:57:18 am »
-ahem-
WHICH OLD WITCH?
WHICH OLD WITCH?
98
Apple Zone / Re: IS VISIT FROM FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD PANGO!
« on: April 09, 2013, 01:55:57 am »
Dear Dr. Pango,
I'm a long-time fan. Really, I mean the way you continuosly threaten us with poisonous clouds of ruin and justice, I just get chills.
I'm a long-time fan. Really, I mean the way you continuosly threaten us with poisonous clouds of ruin and justice, I just get chills.
99
Apple Zone / Re: Possible Shooter at URI
« on: April 05, 2013, 06:49:19 pm »
Yeah, at this point it doesn't matter if the kid said "fun" or "gun." Everyone's going to remember it as "gun" no matter what they actually heard, being reaffirmed by several hundred classmates and the media.
100
Apple Zone / Re: PARENTING
« on: April 05, 2013, 12:12:24 am »
You know what's better than peanut butter AND bacon?
peanut butter and bacon.
peanut butter and bacon.
101
Apple Zone / Re: Butthurt, a Few Thoughts Concerning.
« on: April 04, 2013, 11:02:11 pm »I am BUTTHURT at the following people for the following reasons:
Stella - reminds me of shitty overpriced beer
navkat - not BUTTHURT but pre-emptively BUTTHURT for when she posts her things about BUTTHURT
Roger - a person hairier than I should not exist
LMNO - savage drumming is cracking the walls of the tenement I live in and making it hard to close the door
Luna - is over ten years my senior and LOOKS YOUNGER THAN I DO
Roger - drumming up rumors about the SECOND HALF OF THE JOKE
Ippie - you know what you did you bastard
Waffle - My disagreement with Waffle Iron stems from our fundamentally different perspective regarding the issue of obscure 19th century philosopher/poet Foehershel Byarlsimone. While Mr. Iron insists that his post-Baroque soliloquies are reminiscient of his predecessor and mentor Drekselern Pridistansen I find them more in the style of the Bjorn Fjarlmane in that their umlauts are arranged in a manner meant to evoke sensory delight. And I just can't forgive that shit.
Roger - drank coffee in front of me on a day when I was abstaining from coffee
Cain - due to a variety of reasons I shan't go into presently, I found myself stranded in Nigeria bout a decade ago with my funds tied up in frozen accounts. I sent him an e-mail requesting a small amount just to get mys ass out of Africa and he didn't even fucking respond.
Gogira - name makes too light of the King of Monsters
Roger - just HAS to be on a list more times than anyone else
I'm butthurt that you're not butthurt at me!
NIGEL - can never remember I live on the far east side of Portland
102
Apple Zone / Re: Conquest of the Planet of the Bride of the Son of the Return of the Open Bar
« on: April 04, 2013, 08:21:42 pm »Or that I'm going to wake up and find out I'm actually pissing all over my bed.
every time i piss. for as long as i can remember.
MY BROTHER IN SUFFERING
103
Apple Zone / Re: Unlimited KopyKat253 failure thread (formerly: You scared Tigger?)
« on: April 04, 2013, 08:14:05 pm »I joined in October 1987, and left in May of 1996. If I caught your earlier reference correctly, you are 51, so about 7 years older than I am.Yup. I'm 51, and left the army in December of 1993.
1993 was a big year for me. I started first grade.
104
Apple Zone / Re: Conquest of the Planet of the Bride of the Son of the Return of the Open Bar
« on: April 04, 2013, 08:11:21 pm »
Sometimes, recently, when I pee, I get a panicky sense mid-stream that I'm doing it wrong. Like I'm going to look down and realize I never unzipped my fly and I'm pissing all over my jeans. Or that I'm going to wake up and find out I'm actually pissing all over my bed.
It doesn't really bother me so much as it WHAT THE HELL?
It doesn't really bother me so much as it WHAT THE HELL?
105
Apple Zone / Re: Unlimited KopyKat253 failure thread (formerly: You scared Tigger?)
« on: April 04, 2013, 08:08:34 pm »Yeah, man! Born in 1987 WHAT A FUCKING RETARD!
I mean, DAMN, what kind of a DUMBASS is 25 OR 26 YEARS OLD?
You mistake me. I don't think people are dumbasses because they're 25 years old. I think they're dumbasses because THEY'RE DUMBASSES.
Still, it's hilarious being called out by someone who hasn't even had their first major organ failure yet.
I don't know, this dude doesn't seem to be utilizing a pretty important organ, for all we know he can't.