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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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Yeah he lit a spark, and just now he helped to snuff it out. It just adds to the apathy my friends who already thought everything was corrupt feel.

Bernie did what Clinton never could, drive a steak in the heart of his movement by showing it was all a ploy all along.

And so old what else did he have left to lose? The spectre of the boogyman Trump made Sanders go scared to corruption?

 :lulz: Somehow this is my favorite part.

What kind of fuckery is this?


which I do not recommend.

On the other hand, on Thursday there will be a gigantic radioactive pile of fuckery, and I shall be squatting on top of it.
Shit Roger. Sorry man.

Aneristic Illusions / Re: EU Referendum 23rd June: In or Out?
« on: June 28, 2016, 06:59:00 pm »
Johnson has stated if he becomes leader of the Tory party he won't be calling for a general election.

Whichever senior Tory party member who said Gove and Johnson had "engineered a right-wing coup" on Friday, give yourself a cookie.  You called that shit with clarity.

Tory Leader Johnson makes early bid for Prime Minister

Prime Minister Johnson "reluctantly accepts" title following unopposed election

Emergency Chancellor Johnson promises to step down after state of unrest

JOHNSON assures British populace there is no "official" curfew

Oh shit, I am definitely drunk.  Please disregard anything posted in, lets say, the last hour from this post and the next 3 hours, unless it seems like it actually makes sense.
Can't say I blame you.

On a personal note, I apologize for making dumb jokes on your facebook Brexit threads. That shit is terrifying and sad.

The Secrets Forum / Re: High Altitude Hell, part 5
« on: June 13, 2016, 09:26:39 pm »
This caused a sense of physical wrongness to bloom somewhere behind my lungs. A very specific type of fear. It is excellent work.

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Orlando shooting thread
« on: June 13, 2016, 05:17:51 am »
A Muslim man attacking a gay club on Latino night is the most twisted take on the American dream you can think of. It's what we are now, a 21st century melting pot of hate and tragedy. There's something terribly wrong with us and we all seem to agree on that alone and will eat each other to prove it.

Our house got burgled, so that's kind of shit.
It looks like they ransacked the bedroom/hall areas, piled everything on a blanket ready to carry it out, then walked into the lounge and realised the house is full of cameras and door sensors (turned off due to a cleaner visiting today). They seem to have freaked out, broken a camera off the wall and stolen it, stolen one MacBook (among a pile of other MacBooks and more expensive electronics) and bolted.

No images captured due to disabled system, but we do have a timeline of their movements through doors for all the good it does us. I don't imagine we'll ever see the MacBook or the security camera again.

Fantastically, our cleaner then turned up, presumed we were slobs and unransacked the house, polishing all flat surfaces and likely destroying all forensic evidence.


I'm sorry, that's a really shitty thing to have happened, but your cleaner sounds like an earnest and adorable hard worker.

The Secrets Forum / Re: High Altitude Hell, part 2
« on: June 08, 2016, 08:19:39 pm »
Please clap. The loudspeaker blares. Please clap. One of the weary in the bread lines manages to abide. Please clap. He drops dead right after. Please clap.

The Secrets Forum / Re: The Elephant in the Living Room, part 4
« on: May 17, 2016, 07:30:13 pm »


ohh no.

Bring and Brag / Re: A child, a monster, and a place.
« on: May 17, 2016, 04:59:01 pm »
I'm sure it's only coincidence that I just happened to see Monsters Inc for the first time yesterday. It has to be. .yes... it HAS to be! Clearly.

This was much better, surreal of course, but more realistic monsterness.
Haha, Monsters Inc did pop into my head while I was writing it. There are some hints of Sully and Randall in there.

One of the things my buddy said about short stories is the last line should make you reevaluate the entire piece so I tried to make Brian a little more ambiguous with it.

Bring and Brag / Re: A child, a monster, and a place.
« on: May 17, 2016, 04:44:15 pm »

I could see that illustrated by Dave McKean.
Thanks. Yeah I loved his work on Sandman. I hadn't thought about it but his style is perfect for what I was going for.

Bring and Brag / A child, a monster, and a place.
« on: May 17, 2016, 02:40:51 pm »
I went to a creative themed party this past weekend. One of the workshops was for writing. I've never done a writing workshop or learned anything about the process other than doing it and collaborating, mostly with people here. At the end of the discussion, we were given the prompt:  a child, a monster, and a place. We had about 20 minutes. Here is what I came up with.

"They're coming for you, Chris." The voice was smooth, and close.

"But you're with me," Chris said. He lilted his tone like a question.

"I'm with you."

"I can't look everywhere at once. I'm afraid."

"I'm with you."

Chris sighed. The night light let a soft yellow glow into his room. It was only enough to lend everything a terrible shape. He was glad for Brian. He was always glad for Brian, when he was there. But Brian wasn't always there. Brian came from wherever monsters came from, and Brian came when Chris was scared of monsters.

"Back to back, remember," Brian said.

Chris pressed his slim frame against the hugeness that was Brian. He could see the long hairy arms extending out in the corners of his vision; a wall of monster, to stop the tide of monster.

There was a creak, and a rustle.

"The closet," Chris said.

"The bed," Brian said.

Chris raised his little pen light to the closet door. It was ajar and from the inky darkness within a pair of eyes glinted. There was a hiss as the light hit them, and a hint of scales. They retreated.

Brian was growling, a rumble that sounded like it came from the floor itself. Chris smiled wickedly. That was all Brian ever needed to do. He was the biggest monster. All the other monsters were scared of him. Brian had said so himself.

"Scouts," Brian said, "they always want to know if it's safe. Monsters are cowards."

Chris knew this. Monsters were cowards. Brian had told him. But Brian was not a coward. Brian was Chris' monster.

A howl came from outside, and the padding of many feet. Too many feet. Chris' little pen light felt all too weak. He gulped.

"They're going to use the window," Chris said. His voice wavered.

"I will take the window, then," Brian told him, "you guard our rear. Guard the door."

"On it," he said. He leveled the pen light as bravely as he could.

Tap. Tap tap. Tap. Tap tap. Claws against he window pane.

"Let us in," came a voice like a thousand snakes. "Let us in. Let us in." Tap. Tap tap.

"What do we say, Chris?" Brian asked.

"N-no," Chris said. "No!"

"We are coming in," the slithering said. "We are coming in if you let us or not!"

The window slid open behind Chris. He held his light to the door. Its little circle of white bobbed and shook.

"Don't look around," Brian told him. "They'll only be stronger if you look at them. These are tiny things. They are not like me."

"You're strong," Chris said.

"I am strong."

There was a sound like wetness and heaviness hitting the floor. Then another. And another. Brian growled. There was sliding and Brian's two huge hairy arms moving far too fast. There was tearing and squeals.

An eternity passed. "You can look around," Brian said.

Chris did, slowly. The window was open. Deep gouges were cut into the fame. Tufts of hair were missing from Brian's huge arms. His claws dripped with...something.

"You got them," Chris said.

"I almost didn't."

"But you did. Because you're my monster," Chris said.

"Yes," Brian told him, "I am your monster." And didn't the night light make the fangs look long, make the claws look sharp. "I am your monster."

The Secrets Forum / Re: Name the Tucson Mascot
« on: May 14, 2016, 03:05:24 am »
Tucson should instead take Luna, EoC, Richter, LMNO, any myself as mascots.  Mostly on account of it's pathetic how we all try to be all NICE when we meet up with each other, but we all remember, at some level, the events at Charley's Kitchen.  The fragment I remember was this split-second in time where I was leaning across the bar getting more beer for us.  LMNO was beating the night manager while making noises that sounded like a gorilla in a clothes drier, and Richter had pinned the bartender to the wall with one arm and was cataloguing the man's sins in a friendly-sounding voice.  Luna and EoC just sat at the table, bellowing out the song Mexican Radio.  I looked at the stunned crowd and said "what the fuck were you EXPECTING?  Action/Reaction, fools!  How else did you expect the universe to respond?"

That's all I remember.
I would be part of this mascot team as long as we could still keep The Prick as a name.

The Secrets Forum / Re: Fallout 4 Survivor Mode Pwnt
« on: May 13, 2016, 04:38:58 pm »
If you've played Fallout 4, this account of the first guy to beat survivor mode is fucking hilarious


I haven't played yet but that's really good anyway.

The Secrets Forum / Re: Who's Who on
« on: May 11, 2016, 04:00:48 am »
Hay everbody!
Is everyone still kicking?
Heya Ippie! Not many of us left but it's good to see you.

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