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Messages - Eater of Clowns

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"Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the war room!"

Flying down to the Outer Banks tomorrow. I may be around but you beautiful folks keep doing what you do until I get back.


Armchair-psychologist moment:

Why do you thrive on negative attention? Do you touch yourself with one hand while replying with the other?

It's probably because I was so dreadfully intelligent and behaved as a child. Everyone just forgot about me because I never did anything wrong. To get any attention, I had to do shit like this. And actually, I type with my penis to kill two birds with one stone (I have to hold it with both hands - Awful hand-eye coordination, not because of the size.)

Armchair-psychologist moment:

Why do you thrive on negative attention? Do you touch yourself with one hand while replying with the other?

19 and lonely, is my guess.

He's doing the inevitable attention-seeking spiral of shame.

Hopefully he'll eventually grow up enough to look back on this and be embarrassed. Most of them do. Not all of them, though. Remember that one Australian who got super into meth? That guy never really did. What was his name?

Lonely?  Not even going to comment.

The spiral of shame is my life. I don't learn anything any other way. I've practically been on 2 or 3 ON THIS BOARD. I had mini-spirals back when I made my first rant. Randomly posting pictures for completely un-entertaining reasons and LOLOLOLing while I spout nonsense and randomly misunderstand simple statements and questions is just what I do when I'm turning into less of an idiot.

This shit was just because it pissed me off that you blew what I said out of proportion (Probably more my fault, considering my wording), so I just went with it and built on it, knowing it would become a shitstorm. And then it just became entertaining as fuck to try and make this a self-fulfilling prophecy. As you guys made predictions on where my behavior was going to go next, and as you made predictions on my personality, I just built on it. You guys seemed to like the armchair psychologist at the end, so I figured I'd play it out for a few more posts. Obviously its comedic value was lost over night. I'll probably come back in a month and be completely chill and empty of shit-fuckery.


if only u rlly knew me

It didn't start out just for the lulz. But as you guys started having fun with it, so did I.

This is me, minus the sarcasm, minus the lies, and minus the self-deception:

You joke around about "if u rlly knew me," but I think you'd be surprised how pathetically dependent on the happiness of others I am IRL. I hate it so much, that a lot of the time, I just pretend to be some "badass that don't bow to no one," especially over the internet. I try to satisfy everyone, all the time. And when I can't, I become down, and go somewhere else. I'm so goddamn focused on it, that I am usually willing to give up my dignity if I can at least get some laughs. I generally don't care if I'm the laughing stock of an entire group. I hate being taken seriously, because when I am, people stop feeling so great. When I'm serious, I'm boring and depressing. So I have to be a fool.

People mooch off of me and walk all over me most of the time because I find it hard to say no. I spend almost half of my paychecks on my delinquent friend who took 2 months to get a job because I can't find it in me to let him starve and learn his lesson. I can pretend like I see people as objects over the internet, but when it comes down to it, I can't refuse people in person. And I hate that, because it makes me feel like I hardly have a will of my own.

I don't think my girlfriend is stupid. She's a super hard worker, a fast learner, and did better than I did in school. She may have been transparent when she used to lie to me, but she has never been easily manipulated. I don't manipulate anyone, unless you count logical persuasion. I wish I was a manipulator. But lying takes too much energy (In person. If I can't see you, you're practically out of mind. Maybe that's one of my problems on the internet.).

You wanted noobs to be open and vulnerable? Well, here I am. I was WRONG. And I am stupid.

You're getting it, hopefully. In Open Bar I said be a person and this is it. It takes way more guts to be terrified and unsure than it does to wear a mask. Or a trilby.

Wait a minute what was it that was expressed so many times in Open Bar.

If only there were an UNLIMITED thread of some sort to chronicle the whole thing...

Oh look, the guy who manufactured a half assed personality of hypercompetence and manipulation for himself in real life to mask standard teenage insecurities is retreating further into it when challenged.

That's an absurd conclusion based on a collection of broad assumptions and misconceptions about myself and how I treat her. What do you think I do to her? Do you think I beat her? Do you think I try and control who her friends are and who she hangs out with? Do you think I direct her to certain fields of study because I don't like hers? Because that's the kind of person you all seem to think I am.

Hey I don't want any carefully crafted arguments to cause you any epiphanies or anything, but maybe you should examine how so many people came to that conclusion based on the information you've presented and your behavior following their concerns.

This has all the markings of what sounds like it'll be your first big failure. I hope when it inevitably goes wrong you're able to learn the differences between being right and doing the right thing, and from there take a positive step toward growing as a person. Because you're not really selling very many people here on the whole you're a person thing.

I'm with Paes and would like to add you're a dick and fuck you.

Remind me again why the floor is so wet?


And I look around the room and I wonder who is next.

Wrong question, perhaps.  I wonder HOW will the next one go?

It's been a pattern of every other crazy so far.

1. Gastric bypass gave her a confidence boost so she started trying to cheat on her husband. She got taken in by an online dating scam, moved to Colorado to shack up with a nonexistent dude, leaving her husband and three kids behind.

2. Took another job closer to home.

3.  Gastric bypass meds don't work well with alcohol, or alcoholism. Came into work one day parking by the inmate intake gate, couldn't find his way up the stairs. Tried to prevent his leaving while intoxicated but the guy struggled free and left, dragging feces across the floor as she shat himself.

4.  Took a job with better hours for her family.


So we'll probably have one or two more leave for greener pastures, and another two or three years from now have a somehow grander, more disturbing meltdown. My money is on 3rd gastric bypass guy or maybe lap band lady, just because fucking with your gastrointestinal tract seems to have a pretty profound effect on your psyche.

Hey, I'm writing a paper about this!

Yeah! I've read your references to the brain-gut connection and seen other info floating around. I would like to say anecdotally at least that I've noticed a pattern of people with gastric bypass and impaired decision making skills, but I never knew them before the surgery. The decisions leading up to it, including the one to get it at all, were no doubt poor to begin with.

I can't see Ham gangs making drive-by shootings.  They're always at home in their "radio room".

Citizen's Band hooligans, though...I remember the days of terror back in the 70s, when the Coleco corporation irresponsibly put the power of the "CB40" into the hands of millions of impressionable kids and stupid people.  You learned to duck every time a Gran Fury turned down your block.  Their war cry was "HOW MUCH AM I PUSHING?" or "WHAT'S YOUR 20?" which were in fact the only things ever said over a CB radio that was not installed in a semi.

They started in the 70s, but they never really died out until the advent of affordable flip phones.

It's possible that he's CB and I just don't know the difference in spite of actually using a radio to make my living.   :lulz:

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: The latest from SlateStarCodex
« on: June 05, 2015, 03:10:28 pm »
Fun read!

So I've been reading these as you or Cain bring them to my attention. Who is this person? I really dig the thought process, which while not always revelatory is thorough and accessible.

So what's the initiation ceremony for a ham radio gang?  Do they have colours?

You get squelched by each member in turn, and if you survive you're in, for life.

In related news, this is the most fun I have ever had at work.

The ham ganger left a first shift vacancy, which needs to be filled within the department. It goes by seniority, and while I'm halfway up that list I have no interest in losing my midday shift with weekends off. The lowest seniority member is so obnoxious my bosses spent the last day convincing another person to take it so they wouldn't have to work with the other woman.

The obnoxious one took it anyway. That leaves her second shift open. That spot is coveted by one other dispatcher, but another first shifter is thinking about taking it to avoid the obnoxious one. Plus, if he leaves his spot open a third shifter could potentially take that, leaving third shift open and prompting the first-turned-second shifter to take it, opening that second shift spot again. I've been threatening to take a partial weekend first with an interest in night school, just to add to the panic.

It's absolute chaos, and either way I am working with the exact same people only at different times of the day. I am the only one for whom it remains unchanged, so all I can do is sit back and lulz and lulz.

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