Okay, so this isn't really a religion as much as SRS SCIENCE, but it's called RETARDED DESIGN.
We've all heard the theories of intelligent design, and how irreducable complexity obviously shows us how blah blah blah whatever, and therefore, God.
This is of course entirely plausible, and the proponents of Retarded Design fully believe the Universe and life is too complex to have developed without a creator. However, why should we automatically assume the Designer is intelligent
, before we have carefully observed their work to draw our conclusions?
Let's take a look around.
Okay so there are plants and trees and butterflies, with their fine-tuned cellular, um, things and stuff, all magnificent manifestations of a wonderfully precise design and I UM THERE ARE MONKEYS IN BURMA WHO SNEEZE
EVERY TIME IT RAINS
BECAUSE THEY GET WATER
IN THEIR NOSE
OR SOMETHING WHAT THE HELL IT'S A FUCKING RAINFOREST
IT RAINS LIKE ALL THE TIME
And the immune system, an incredibly adaptive mechanism which WAIT I'M DESTROYING MY OWN PLATELETS BECAUSE MY BODY MISTAKES THEM FOR VIRUSES? THANKS A LOT FOR THE ITP, GOD OR WHATEVER, OKAY GOTTA GO AND BUY A FEW THOUSAND TONS OF PREDNISONE I GUESS
And just think about the entire Universe. An endless ocean of darkness, sprinkled with infinite amounts of stars and planets - oh, the possibilities! What wonders could we encounter if only YEAH IF ONLY THE OTHER SOLAR SYSTEMS WEREN'T IMPOSSIBLE TO EVER REACH BECAUSE OF AN ASSLOAD OF LIGHTYEARS BETWEEN US AND THEM AND WE CAN'T EVEN ACCELERATE TO THE SPEED OF LIGHT?
SERIOUSLY, PISS OFF
So there are two options: either all of this has a perfectly valid reason, but we aren't supposed to understand it because the Designer's plans are too complicated for us, or the Designer is a complete moron who obviously has no idea how things work. We at the Super-Scientific Church of Retarded Design have decided to go for the latter.
O HAI GOD CURE FOR CANCER PLZ
SRY GOTTA GO MAKE MONKEYS SNEEZE
Solves the problem of evil, too. It's okay, Job! All your servants and children died and you lost all of your fortunes, but God can't really be held accountable for that. He's, um, special