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Messages - Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 25, 2017, 04:17:39 am »
Combination of the nativity of Jesus, the Eddas, and A Christmas Story. As a child Odin is visited by three wisemen - manifestations of the wisdom god Mimir - who bring him a bb gun, a compass that fits into the stock, and a thing that tells time. He shoots his eye out but in doing so gains enlightenment

Another idea:
In the post-apocalypse curremcy is backed by a reverse metalic standard. Each bill is backed by a promise that if handed in the issuer will also take a certain amount of dangerous contaminated items off your hands as well.

Tagline for yuletide horror film:
"Christmas is about what's in your heart: Buckets and buckets of blood"

Another idea:
President Trump is viaited by two ghosts on christmas eve and when he remains incalcitrant in place of the third ghost comes Krampus, who drags him down to Hell.

Another idea:
Comedy skit- Combined parody of Rudolph and LoTR: "Didn't I ever tell you about balrogs? Balrogs bounce!"

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Random News Stories
« on: December 25, 2017, 01:52:23 am »
Naturally.  It's not like they held up an entire Supreme Court nomination recently or anything...

He is in fact the man I hate most in US politics.

More than Trump, Pence, and Ryan?

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 25, 2017, 01:16:45 am »
The government concocts a harebrained scheme to print arbitrary amounts of new money to cover their debts without devaluing the currency by also printing at the same time an equal amount of negatively valued currency to balance the equation.

This grew out of a thought I had that the governmemt ought to issue negative 100 dollar bills with pictures of Donald Trump on them

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 19, 2017, 02:59:06 am »
Satirical horror comedy where the part of the generic evil cult is played by backwoods redneck Christians. The Bible is referred to as "The Christianomicon" throughout

Another idea:
Xmas special- The infant Jesus is visited by three kings: Elvis Presley (the King of Rock), Bob Marley (the King of Reggae) and Michael Jackson (the King of Pop) who possibly molests him

Another idea:
Good King Wenceslas goes completely off the rails after the second verse and ends up being about prima nocta

Another idea:
Wizard of Oz remake wherein the characters' issues are turned up to eleven. The Scarecrow is profoundly retarded, the Lion keeps pissing himself, the Tin Man is a Republican, etc.

Another idea:
I think I've posted something like this before but, a cross between Frosty the Snowman and The Evil Dead. the snowman is brought to life by black magic and Santa's explanation of christmas snow in the scene where he melts is reworded to echo the professor's recording from evil dead 1 about how the kandarian demons may lay dormant but can never truly die

A major evil rises to menace America about every 70-90 years. The last one was the Third Reich and Imperial Japan, and before that there was the Confederacy

« on: December 15, 2017, 05:25:31 pm »

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 15, 2017, 02:07:54 am »
Horror/conspiracy-thriller in which Mark Zuckerberg is secretly a cthulhu cultist trying to bring about the end of the world and Facebook is named in honor of the necronomicon (really I just like the idea of Facebook being named after the Necronomicon)

Another idea:

Comedy skit- fake ad- "Baby Scatological", one of those baby dolls that poops and pees, but in this ad the fact that this is scatological is played up. Also the doll is indeed extra scatological, although I'm not sure how; I'm thinking it either needs to periodically be filled with real feces or else contains a miniaturized cloaca machine. Also the doll talks, but instead of crying or whatever it's an incongrous recording of a 40 year old fat guy from New York saying "I gotta take a shit"

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 14, 2017, 06:51:17 am »
Comedy Skit: Ad for new show on The Learning Channel, "World's Fattest Midget". Ends with the tagline 'The Learning Channel, where education goes to die'

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 12, 2017, 04:17:29 am »
The infant Jesus is visited by three wise men. Unfortunately for him one of them is Richard Dawkins, who ushows that the "angels" are really guys in masks like the villain from a Scooby Doo cartoon, thus prompting the other wise men to take their gold and frankincense back.

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 11, 2017, 04:15:15 am »
Ebeneezer Scrooge dates Miss Havisham

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: December 11, 2017, 03:42:09 am »
On Christmas Eve President Trump is visited by the eternally damned spirit of Ronald Reagan who sends three ghosts to teach him to stop being  a crazy avaricious assclown

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Random News Stories
« on: December 08, 2017, 11:57:10 pm »
Another Prophet Profiteer Not Accepted in His Own Country

“Disgraced evangelist Jim Bakker warns critics they will face God’s wrath for making fun of him”

In video captured by Right Wing Watch, disgraced evangelist Jim Bakker raged at his critics saying, they will face the wrath of God for mocking his End Time warnings and making fun of him throughout his checkered career.

To be fair, since the election I could totally see these being the end times. And if they are it means that Trump will only serve three and a half years of his term of office (Revelation 13:5)

Though on the other hand the end times predictions in the books of the subgenius posit that government by evil clowns will last for many years

Techmology and Scientism / Re: Windows 10
« on: December 08, 2017, 11:31:40 pm »
In further news:

A lawsuit over an unwanted Windows 10 upgrade just cost Microsoft $10,000

Microsoft backs off sneaky Windows 10 upgrade tricks with simple new pop-up

Oh and did I mention they've implemented some of their spyware bullshit into Windows 7 and 8 now, using the Updates?  Yup.   Not all of it, since the Win7 and Win8 EULA isn't quite as horrifying as Win10, but as much as they could get away with.

This is why I keep windows update turned off. People keep telling me that that leaves me vulnerable to viruses but I personally feel that if the update itself is going to steal my personal information and/or stop my computer from working it kind of defeats the purpose

Techmology and Scientism / Re: Windows 10
« on: December 08, 2017, 11:27:10 pm »
I think Winaero Tweaker can kill windows telemetry

Apple Talk / Re: things I will do when I am emperor of the universe
« on: December 08, 2017, 05:42:31 am »
10. Country music can never be eradicated because it is a deeply loved cultural phenomenon. However, all performances of it must occur in the Louisiana swamps, outdoors, without amplification.

Even Mojo Nixon?

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