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Messages - Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Theological Questions!
« on: June 05, 2018, 03:30:37 pm »
Is heaven just a method to get people to pull down their/zip up there - pants?  :eek:

The most cynical take on religion would say Heaven / Hell is just a motivational tool.

The old Hebrew word for Hell, Sheol, really refers to the shaded slope on the west side of the city of Jerusalem, where everyone threw their garbage. "When you die, you go to Sheol", in a literal sense means that if your life wasn't worth anything, we just throw you in the trash.

I thought that was Gehenna, not Sheol

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: June 04, 2018, 03:43:33 am »
I know the “National Park Service says sinkhole at White House poses no threat.” But, can you really trust those guys? I mean, aren’t they the guys in charge of all of the Federal swamps?

"No threat" sounds about right to me. What's the worst that could happen? White House collapses? That's not a problem in the current state of affairs; If anything that's potentially a solution.

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: June 04, 2018, 03:40:14 am »
Dark comedy skit in which the WW1 christmas truce degenerates into a soccer riot that transitions seamlessly back into fighting the war

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Random News Stories
« on: June 03, 2018, 06:12:06 pm »
A Virgina man is running for Congress he’s pro-rape, pro-incest, runs an incel website, and is pro-pedophelia.

He’s running on the Libertarian ticket.

What a country!

You left out pro-Hitler and pro-Taliban, and honestly those are the worst ones

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: June 03, 2018, 11:27:58 am »
You mean she's been recalled by the KGB (or whatever they're calling themselves these days) because the investigation's getting too close

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: June 02, 2018, 06:40:43 pm »
Story set on a world with a 3:2 spin-orbit resonance (like Mercury) so that it's solar day is twice as long as it's year. On this world day and night largely take the place of the seasons in terms of significance. The actual seasons take the place of months in the local calendar system (eight total in a day)

Another idea(s):

*The mysterious cthulhu mythos bartending school Vodkatonic University

*Reverse capchas; Read a barcode to prove that you're a robot

*Vampire story ends with the vampire being killed by being immersed in a mikvah

Or Kill Me / Re: The left and the right
« on: June 01, 2018, 02:02:29 am »
I think I've heard this one before.

I would literally give my left arm to live in a society with the same attitudes towards drugs, family, and casual sex as the one in Brave New World. The problems with the society in Brave New World were that they had a rigid caste system that oppressed the poor and the fact that they worshipped Henry Ford as some kind of weird deity.

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: May 31, 2018, 07:40:29 am »
Misc ideas:

*Leprechauns poop gold nuggets and their pot of gold is a chamber pot

*New toy: The Fentanyl Patch Kids

*A character named "Orange Julius" who is a combination of Trump and Caesar

*Infomercial for a CPAP machine that is also a bong, for easier more conve ient wake-and-bakes

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: May 24, 2018, 05:09:40 am »
Horror film about a Jesus-like reverse vampire that shoots blood at people's faces from holes in it's hands and if it gets in their mouths and they swallow any they turn into one themselves

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: May 24, 2018, 02:00:04 am »
*Deconstruction of movies and games where an uploaded consciousness becomes monstrous in which the uploaded consciousness is literally a robot vampire

*Thriller wherein it is discovered that both the eucharist and the story of infant Jesus being placed in a manger are holdovers from a suppressed early form of Christianity that practiced cannibalism

*Thriller wherein it is discovered that the Republicans are deliberately trying to melt the ice caps in order to flood the (mostly coastal) blue states

Techmology and Scientism / Re: Weekly Science Headlines
« on: May 21, 2018, 07:32:22 pm »
Defence against the dark arts: Saudi Arabia trains staff against black magic

A Saudi government commission gave dozens of members of its Mecca governing body a five-day crash course in “developing scientific skills to defeat black magic”.

Here’s the link:

Let’s hear it for Science!

Did they get the idea from Monty Python?

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: May 20, 2018, 07:23:57 am »
Show with anthropomorphic bees where the queen bee actually isn't a literal queen for once. Instead she's more like a hillbilly matriarch with way too many kids. This is more biologically accurate, and a potential source of humor.

I've been thinking about that too -- they don't have to knowledgably collude with anybody, they just have to drop some ammo crates for opposition to load into the accusation gun.

That's part of it at any rate.

In any case I think it's likely that Trump didn't collude and that Russia acted on it's own. Not to necessarily undermine confidence in the democratic process, but because Trump by itself represented an unprecedented opportunity to undermine the functioning of the American government, and one unlikely to be repeated if not acted upon. Why would they bother to seek his approval or assistance? He'd just fuck it up. He fucks things up. That's what he does and that's the main point of Russia manipulating things to put him in charge.

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: May 19, 2018, 02:10:38 am »
2 Girls 1 Holy Grail

What a surprise, DPRK now says that it wont attend the summit if the US insists on denuclearisation. 

So now, the US has two options: go ahead with the summit while dropping those demands, making the US look weak and ineffective


Insist on denuclearisation, making North Korea call off the summit, making the US look inflexible and greedy in its demands.

Wait, can't the US just pull the very same dick move and go back to insisting on denuclearization once the summit is already well underway

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