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Messages - Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Literate Chaotic / Re: How full of shit is Peter Levenda?
« on: February 25, 2018, 07:19:30 pm »
For those who don't know, Levenda was the man behind the Simon Necronomicon, the first faked version of the book bearing Lovecraft's name.

I've read that. It's like the writer wasn;t even trying to make the contents Necronomicon-like. It isn't even half-assed; it's maybe quarter-assed at best

To add to that, half the people that believe it's legit, haven't even read Lovecraft  :lulz:

The baffling thing about this is that the other half have. You'd think they'd be familiar enough to see that it's clearly unrelated.

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: February 21, 2018, 06:45:59 pm »
An overweight demon tries several fad diets to try and lose weight including eating only people's souls and eating only pain and sorrow

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: February 18, 2018, 05:04:43 pm »
Ok I just reread my last suggestion and it's kind of stupid as is. Here's how I decided it should go:

The protagonist's friend or dog or father figure almost dies and forces them to comr=e to grips with death. But though they don't die Death is now after them in a Final Destination-esque fashion


Someone poignantly dies but then they come back from the dead as a ghost or vampire or something and it turns into a supernatural teen romance


dog/friend/father figure dies and protagonist spends most of the story on a quest for for a magical artifact capable of restoring life, such as the elixir of life, the necronomicon, or the holy grail. The quest succeeds. Alternately they might spend their life developing a Re-Animator-esque serum

A fake bead of sweat forms on the android's forehead

I like this. I've got the image in my head here of a cut to a closeup on a nozzle specifically designed to extrude fake beads of sweat.

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: February 18, 2018, 12:19:34 am »
One of those insufferable end of innocence stories where some snot-nosed little puke has to come to terms with the untimely death of a friend, except that it gradually transmutes into a knockoff of The Final Destination and as the main character starts to come to grips with the fact that death comes for everybody that's when Death comes for everybody

« on: February 17, 2018, 08:33:39 pm »

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Amtrak Train full of GOP Lawmakers hits Dumptruck
« on: February 17, 2018, 08:31:17 pm »
Did any of the GOP lawyers die? Please tell me they did.

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: February 17, 2018, 08:29:17 pm »
True, I'm just not sure if that would go in his favour.

In other news, reading is still hard.  Who knew it could be so complicated?

For much of the past year, President Trump has declined to participate in a practice followed by the past seven of his predecessors: He rarely if ever reads the President’s Daily Brief, a document that lays out the most pressing information collected by U.S. intelligence agencies from hot spots around the world.

Trump has opted to rely on an oral briefing of select intelligence issues in the Oval Office rather than getting the full written document delivered to review separately each day, according to three people familiar with his briefings.

Reading the traditionally dense intelligence book is not Trump’s preferred “style of learning,” according to a person with knowledge of the situation.

You know this story is bullshit, because it implies Trump is capable of learning.

He learns, but at a negative rate

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: February 08, 2018, 05:21:53 pm »
Something similar to the "Who's on First" skit by abbot and costello, but in place of strange nicknames instead revolving around ambiguous use of the phrase "foot fetish" in a store that sells both pornography and lucky rabbit's foot talismans

More ideas:

*The trademark dispute between the World Wildlife Fund and the World Wrestlig Federation is depicted as having been settled by having Hulk Hogam wrestle a bear

*The inner circle of the Republican Party consists of a cult of followers of the religion of the ancient Aztecs. This is why the Republican Party believes that war brings prosperity

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: February 08, 2018, 05:15:03 pm »
humanity spends 1,000 years colonizing space with gigantic cryo-sleeper ships and trade routes that take 100 years to cross, and people can upload their conscious minds to computers to overcome the vast time scales everything takes now, and everything in human culture revolves around waiting 50 years for the Amazon package to arrive. Then, some asshole finally invents dependable faster-than-light engines, and everything will fall apart if the technology isn't immediately suppressed.

Here's one:  A generation ship arrives to find their target planet fully colonized by people who left Earth 50 years after they did, because that's when FTL travel was invented.  And it turns out that the skills needed to colonize a near-Earth planet aren't really all THAT useful on a fully urbanized planet, so they all wind up working in the equivalent of McDonalds/WalMarts, and die in abject poverty some years later.

No no no, thet're relieved. They were only doing this because that's what their parents wanted. It is a generation ship after all.

Are you a chatbot?

Techmology and Scientism / Re: YEAH! Take that, cancer, YOU FUCKING FUCK!
« on: February 07, 2018, 04:49:07 pm »

What if the patient has cancer and AIDS

Other than that sounds great though.

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: February 05, 2018, 01:57:40 pm »
Pervasive personalized entertainment generating AIs result in a world where there are no cultural touchstones. Eventually the system breaks down as genre disappears

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Theological Questions!
« on: February 05, 2018, 12:33:21 am »
I wrote a new Bible book, where can I submit it?

Historically it was PO box 140306 Dallas Texas but I think that got changed

Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: February 04, 2018, 04:58:31 pm »
An anime style show about World War 2 with typical crazy anime style stuff like the British army's secret weapon is the Knights of the Round Table and Hitler is an ancient evil spirit and Bomber Harris literally has the power to control the wind

A remake of the film The Day After Tomorrow in which the global superstorm is the deliberate work of a supervillain resembling Monarch Butterfly from The Venture Brothers

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Re: Theological Questions!
« on: February 03, 2018, 04:27:13 pm »
What the fuck is up with Satanism?

They are so 'hurt' by Christianity that they can't simply just call themselves atheists and call it a day - instead, they use unrelated symbology and choose to identify themselves with a little angel who had a tantrum in several chapters of the Bible and had little significance otherwise. It seems that they think that identifying themselves with this insignificant angel, makes them "edgy".

"I am a Satanist, I swear, I just don't believe in Satan. I can't be just an atheist, else then where is my identity?" - [Satanist then goes off and cries in a corner]

Silly, right? What they really ought to do is align themselves with Eris and/or BOB without believing in their literal existence...

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