« on: May 15, 2010, 08:17:07 pm »
I just don't care anymore. I don't mean that in the usual sense of "don't care", poorly using it to hide the depth of my care. No, I just don't give a shit. I bitch out of a sense of duty, not out of any real issue with my life.
Broke my finger? Yeah, okay. Got holed up with a cult for a month? Wake me up tomorrow. My family hates me? Old news. You could probably tell me I was being hunted down by a hitman and I'd either half-heartedly try to run and hide before getting bored 15 minutes later, or I'd hit you in the face for interrupting me while I'm sleeping or eating or doing something else relatively unimportant.
I got contacted by a former girlfriend today, asking me to be accomplice to a murder. I acted outraged on IRC but it was really just all "whatever" and "oh okay" and maybe even "that's nice". Turns out she was lying, she just wanted a place to stay. Can't help you there, young lady. Byebye. After some arguing with myself about it engendered by a sense of moral obligation to help, of course.
I've been trying to write a rant, but I can't get the hate flowing anymore. When I get "pissed" it's closer to "I am irritated and I want you to know I'm irritated, but it's really all okay because I don't care a whole lot." Any attempt to write a rant on my life since going to jail would read drier than the ashes of sawdust. No laughs, no mittens. Not even any rantiness. It'd just explain what happened, in the sort of voice reserved for a thesis.
I posted this here, too, out of a sense of duty. I felt sort of bad about promising a rant and then not delivering, so this is it. I don't know if the juices will ever flow again, but I sure hope. The WOMPs are still forthcoming, however, I assure you that much.
That is all.